What to do when you feel sleepy early in the evening but don't feel sleepy when it's time for bed

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Күн бұрын

Many people with chronic insomnia feel sleepy very early in the evening but find that as soon as this "window of sleepiness" passes, they feel awake and no longer sleepy. This is a classic symptom of conditioned arousal and can be addressed using cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) techniques.
Related video:
Why CBT-I is so effective when worry, anxiety, and a racing mind are fueling your chronic insomnia: • Why CBT-I is so effect...
When it's not close to bedtime, it's likely that you are not thinking (or worrying) about sleep as much as you might when it's time to go to bed. So, when it's not close to bedtime you feel more relaxed and, therefore, you are better able to recognize sleepiness cues. However, as bedtime approaches, you begin to worry about the potentially tough night ahead - and this activates the arousal system, making you feel more alert and not very sleepy!
Related video:
The best relaxation techniques for sleep when you have chronic insomnia: • The best relaxation te...
Conditioned arousal takes time to develop, and this is why it's important to take steps to address your insomnia sooner rather than later: • Why it's important to ...
CBT-I techniques such as sleep restriction and stimulus control can help build sleep drive, consolidate sleep, make sleepiness cues more obvious, overpower the arousal system, and improve sleep for the long term.
In effect, the bed will become a strong long-term trigger for relaxation and sleep rather than worry and wakefulness and this will prevent sleepiness from disappearing as bedtime approaches.
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My name is Martin Reed and I am the founder of Insomnia Coach®. I offer sleep coaching services that give people with insomnia all the skills and support they need to enjoy better sleep for the rest of their lives. I also offer a free two-week sleep training course for people with insomnia at insomniacoach.com/sleep-train...
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All content found on the Insomnia Coach KZfaq channel is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice or medical treatment and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or other licensed healthcare provider. All content is provided as is, and without warranties.
#insomnia
#sleep

Пікірлер: 67

@InsomniaCoach 4 жыл бұрын

All content found on the Insomnia Coach KZfaq channel is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

@d.6832 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you very much

@InsomniaCoach 3 жыл бұрын

You are so welcome!

@lorichet 2 жыл бұрын

Very helpful -- thank you!

@InsomniaCoach 2 жыл бұрын

You are very welcome, Lori! Thanks for watching and engaging with the channel!

@vikasgupta1828 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks

@InsomniaCoach 2 жыл бұрын

You're welcome!

@Ryan-qn1wr 3 жыл бұрын

I had somewhat the same thing, but mine was more of a nighttime vs day time thing. I was so used to being up at night partying, and then working night shift that I strongly associated night with wakefulness and daytime with sleepiness and relaxation. Id be so sleepy in the afternoon, but once the sun went down, it literally felt like a drug wearing off. Its hell changing back, but Im making progress.

@InsomniaCoach 3 жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing your experience, Ryan - I am glad to know you're making progress on getting you circadian rhythm realigned!

@wintertargaryen5269 Жыл бұрын

Your knowledge is literally life saving. You are a genius.

@InsomniaCoach Жыл бұрын

I am flattered by your words. Thank you.

@NOIRTHIRTEEN Жыл бұрын

Thank you for giving us some hope and information. Almost 15 years of severe, chronic nonstop, insomnia… My life is passing by before me. I just don’t know how to fall asleep anymore! Praying I can find help… 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

@InsomniaCoach Жыл бұрын

You're welcome, Jayleen! It sounds as though you have a big opportunity in front of you to start taking back your life and doing more of what matters to you - even in the presence of chronic insomnia.

@jocelynmuch 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for all your great videos. CBTi is a hard process to get started on but I feel so much encouragement from watching your videos.

@InsomniaCoach 2 жыл бұрын

I appreciate you sharing that! It can be very hard to get started - all that matters, though, is getting started!

@jocelynmuch 2 жыл бұрын

@@InsomniaCoach thanks! I saw your other video on just this topic and made me feel so much better. I stuck to the CBTI plan and have had five days of continuous 6 hours of sleep! So thrilled thank you for your videos!!

@InsomniaCoach 2 жыл бұрын

@@jocelynmuch Sounds like you're making progress - thanks for the update!

@EvaPev 2 жыл бұрын

I often feel sleepy during the day (not fatigued) because of a circadian rythm disorder I'm diagnosed with. It is in fact not that uncommon. Completely avoiding the topic as if it doesn't exist misleads people which might suffer with it. Also I would like to share that for the majority of my life I've watched movies or other video content on my laptop in bed. Up until a sleep specialist told me I shouldn't. After I stopped I started dreading going to bed because I no longer associated it with the pleasant emotions I had when I was watching TV in it. Now I'm trying to get back to that old habit hoping my dread for my bedroom will go away. I'm 41. After my last attempt to sleep only during the night (which is not advised for my disorder) I stopped sleeping completely. It has been two months and I can no longer fall asleep at all. I will never again attempt to restrict my sleep to certain hours if my body tells me these aren't the hours for sleep. That is if I ever start sleeping again. Right now I either get 0 hours or only a few. Before my attempt with sleep restriction and all I was sleeping 9 hours every day. Just not at the same time of day. I wish I have a Ctrl Z. I wish I stop listening to other people and start listening to my body.

@InsomniaCoach 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experience. This channel is aimed at individuals with chronic insomnia who often experience what I covered in the video. Of course, some viewers might have a circadian rhythm sleep disorder, another sleep disorder, or another health condition - but I can't cover every possible scenario or situation when I record these videos. I simply do the best I can for my intended audience.

@amandao546 5 жыл бұрын

Suggestion for the next video: how can we stop thinking about sleep when we have chronic insomnia? Bc i know that people like me who suffers from this spend all day long thinking about the bad night we had, and it turns into a circle with no end. Idk if you have a video about this already. I try to watch your videos often

@amandao546 5 жыл бұрын

And thinking about the sleep only makes the insomnia worse.

@ODwyer65 5 жыл бұрын

amanda oliveira From someone who is also struggling with this...you need to really come to grips with the fact that insomnia is perpetuated by the negative thinking, the catastrophizing (you know this). You really need to develop a certain mindfulness and recognize when you are engaging with unrealistic and/or unhelpful negative thoughts. You can’t stop them per se, they will certainly occur, but you don’t need to give in to them in such a negative way. This is certainly difficult, but one you can experience a bad night or stretch of bad nights, and determine not to be defeated by those nights, to get through to the next stretch of good nights, you set yourself up for a greater chance of success. This takes a lot of practice but has been helpful to me. You can’t control whether you will fall asleep in a given night, but mindfulness practices and CBTi, when exercised diligently, can really make a difference in the longer term.

@InsomniaCoach 5 жыл бұрын

Thanks for your contribution to the channel, Amanda. Although you recognize that spending a lot of time thinking and worrying about sleep isn't helpful, we can't simply force ourselves not to think of something. As soon as we try not to think about something, we think about it! Ultimately, as suggested by @ODwyer65 implementing CBT-I techniques is usually the best strategy since it combines sleep education (to help address any incorrect or inappropriate sleep-related beliefs) and behavioral changes that will help improve sleep quality and lead to less worry about sleep. Being active and doing things every day can also be very helpful, as can scheduling time for worry during a short period during the day. You might find these videos helpful: Why CBT-I is so effective when worry, anxiety, and a racing mind are fueling your chronic insomnia: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/fNWfeJOQvb2Yj5c.html Don't try to force sleep-related worries and thoughts from your mind when you can't sleep at night: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/gLVdrLugl9C4hGg.html If you have chronic insomnia, scheduling time for daytime worry can help calm the mind at night: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/hN5pe6ifm5OwmH0.html This response got quite long, so I think I will address this issue specifically in a future video. Thank you for the opportunity to help!

@fcv4616 Жыл бұрын

I just found your channel, and it's giving me hope to cure my insomnia! Regarding bed restriction, is the time to go to bed equally as important as the time we wake up? I've been practicing sleep restriction with my therapist for two weeks as of today. I started going to bed at 12:30 and waking up at 06:30, for a total of 6 hours of bed. Since I didn't meet the required percentage of sleep efficiency, he pushed my time to go to bed to 12:45, which allots my bedtime for 05:45. The idea is that if my sleep efficiency improves, we'll add 15 minutes every week, until I reach 7-8 hours. Is this method correct? I've been reading more about cbti and sleep restriction, and some of the information I've found contradicts my therapist's approach, so I just want to know I'm on the right course. For example, my therapist told me to go to bed always at the same time, but I noticed that the 15 min bed reduction made me more anxious and made it more difficult, whereas if I waited to go bed until I was sleepy (usually, around 20 minutes earlier or later from my alloted hour), I noticed I slept better. The good news is that for the last week I haven't taken that long to fall asleep, which was my original problem, because I could go to bed sometime between 10:30 and 12:00, but remain awake for hours. Now I fall asleep around 10-15 min, and I've been feeling more rested for the last 3 days. However, in the last week, 3 of 7 nights I also woke up half an hour earlier than my bedtime, and I couldn't go back to sleep, and one additional night I woke up at nearly 04:00 and couldn't fall asleep again til nearly my waking hour. This didn't happen that often to me before. So I wonder if I'm doing the CBTi right and it just takes time, or if there's something wrong in my methodology that is affecting my results?

@InsomniaCoach Жыл бұрын

Welcome to the channel! Many people find it helpful to make the hour before the sleep window begins the last time they check the clock until their alarm goes off in the morning and then to go to bed whenever they feel sleepy enough for sleep. So, with a sleep window of 12:30 AM to 6:30 AM, 11:30 PM might be the last time you check the time until that 6:30 alarm. Whenever you feel ready for bed, you allow yourself to go to bed!

@fcv4616 Жыл бұрын

@@InsomniaCoach Thank you!!!

@fcv4616 Жыл бұрын

@@InsomniaCoach Thank you, Dr! This is very helpful. So if my sleep window is 12:30-06:30 and I last check the clock at 11:30, does that mean I can go to bed at some point between 11:30 and 12:30 if I feel sleepy, or must I wait until 12:30?

@InsomniaCoach Жыл бұрын

@@fcv4616 If 11:30 PM is the last time you check the clock then yes - you would simply go to bed whenever you feel sleepy enough for sleep!

@jenna5386 3 жыл бұрын

When you recommend to leave your bed whenever we can’t sleep (and return once we feel sleepy), is there anything you recommend to do to fill this time? A lot of people advice to not use technology, etc. and to instead do reading - just curious to know your thoughts on this.

@InsomniaCoach 3 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the great question, Jenna! I simply suggest doing anything that is more pleasant than being awake in bed. I think technology is OK as long as you are aware of their potential to absorb all your attention - social media and news sites, for example, are intended to grab and hold our attention for as long as possible so they might not be helpful if we want to be able to recognize sleepiness cues and give ourselves the opportunity to return to bed at some point in the night. They also usually display the time quite prominently, and this might increase arousal. You might find this video helpful: "What to do during the night when you can't sleep because of chronic insomnia" - kzfaq.info/get/bejne/o9yoqM5o25qymWw.html I hope this helps!

@lookingatdaisies9901 Жыл бұрын

I've thrown away the not using technology information I heard from others, I basically realised I can just dim the lights and do less stimulating activities like slow moving strategy games that are interesting but not stimulating. Nonogram, taking care of a cat farm etc.

@austintone Жыл бұрын

I’m associating bed with the agony of going in and getting out multiple times during the night, until at 3:15 my sleep window is over. On most nights once I start the in-bed out-of-bed routine, sleepiness never comes. I pray for a way to fully calm down the arousal that happens before bedtime. Getting out of bed (now that I’ve learned that sleepiness probably will not return for the entire night) only causes extreme distress.

@InsomniaCoach Жыл бұрын

In that case, you might want to stay in bed and simply do something more appealing whenever nighttime wakefulness doesn't feel good. I hope this helps!

@nkundwashanice574 Жыл бұрын

Me too I tried but this failed to work for me but the moment I stay in bed;Sometimes I get lucky. Getting out of bed whenever I can't sleep sends in stronger anxiety

@InsomniaCoach Жыл бұрын

@@nkundwashanice574 Anxiety isn't always the problem - sometimes it's our attempts to fight or avoid anxiety that gets us tangled up in a struggle!

@andrewg4920 4 жыл бұрын

How important is going back to the same bed every time you implement stimulus control? For example, If I start off in the bedroom with my spouse, But I don’t want to disturb my spouse every time I wake up and go back to bed, can I switch to the spare room? If I do this, will I then have problems Sleeping with my spouse down the road since I’m associating the spare room bed with sleep, and not the bed with my spouse ? Thanks !

@InsomniaCoach 4 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the great question, Andrew! If your long-term goal is to sleep in your own bedroom with your spouse, then that's probably where you want to return to when you go back to bed - for the exact reason you suggested! I'd suggest discussing your concerns with your spouse - they often find a partner getting in and out of bed to be far less disruptive than you might assume! Here's a short video about this: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/Z8unhspiyJbPoJs.html

@rosiemac2538 2 жыл бұрын

This is exactly me. What about going to bed at 7.30 - 8pm then ? ( like a child) I've never done it ( my mind would probably then say , this is ridiculous )

@InsomniaCoach 2 жыл бұрын

That sounds a bit early, but we're all different - and you are the expert on you, Rosie!

@joewalker8098 3 жыл бұрын

This is so me at the moment. I literally can't stay awake to get to my sleep window but as soon as i get upstairs and into bed I start to feel anxious and alert. It's obviously related to my bedroom as we went away for 2 nights last week and slept nearly 7 hours both nights but as soon as i got back i was back to sleeping bad again. Any advice on trying to stay awake for the window? And if i have such a good sleep drive before do i need to just implement stimulous control and not sleep restriction?

@InsomniaCoach 3 жыл бұрын

Conditioned arousal can be so frustrating! It's helpful to continue with sleep restriction when implementing stimulus control because you then get sleep drive on your side to help overpower arousal. In terms of staying awake for the start of the sleep window, anything that requires movement can be helpful - that might involve going for a short walk, doing some stretching, making tomorrow's lunch, or doing some relaxing and enjoyable activities that require some kind of physical movement. I hope this helps!

@joewalker8098 3 жыл бұрын

@@InsomniaCoach i tried stimulous control last night and got up about 8 times i think and unfortunately fell asleep for an hour on the sofa but that's all i got. I'm jyst worried that because its so horri ble to implement its increasing my anxiety about sleep. I suppose i have no other option as my bed is currently a place of terror in my mind.

@InsomniaCoach 3 жыл бұрын

@@joewalker8098 Congratulations on taking that first step! Since you only got an hour of sleep last night, sleep drive is going to be very high now - and this means that as long as you don't do anything to reduce that sleep drive during the day, sleep becomes increasingly likely. Sleep drive always wins in the end, and a strong sleep drive also helps overpower the arousal system. Keep moving forward, Joe - you've got this!

@rayneshautar6048 2 жыл бұрын

@@joewalker8098 how are you now

@Jojobeans1755 10 ай бұрын

Can you give us an update?

@patrickmcmenamin1745 Жыл бұрын

Do you have any information on insomnia post Covid? I never had a sleeping issue in my life. I got Covid an for over a year I tend to be able to fall asleep, but anywhere from 1-4am and I’m up wired

@InsomniaCoach Жыл бұрын

I don't have any specific information about that - but what I can say is that when the initial trigger for insomnia is no longer present, relevant, or obvious the ongoing sleep disruption is often caused by a change in our approach to sleep. And that new approach often involves more "trying" - we try to make sleep happen, we put effort into it, we try to get rid of wakefulness when it shows up, and/or we try to fight or avoid the difficult thoughts and feelings that can come with insomnia. All those totally understandable actions can actually end up making things more difficult.

@mikaelsanchez7258 4 жыл бұрын

Martin! Thank you for these videos. I have a quick question. Sometimes I’m on the verge of sleep but my body jolts itself back awake and my mind starts racing again! How do I change this? It’s been a desperate 5 weeks 2-4 hours of sleep (and some days no sleep!). Am i gonna go crazy?! It’s taking over my life. :(

@InsomniaCoach 4 жыл бұрын

These jolts (also referred to as hypnic jerks) are not unusual and tend to be a symptom of hyperarousal. You might find this forum discussion helpful: insomniacoach.com/forums/topic/jerking-self-awake-when-falling-asleep/

@bijalmemories 3 жыл бұрын

Hiya do you have any luck with these jolts? I have then too.

@ElenaRata-iv5pk 6 ай бұрын

Maybe try some magnesium before bed

@xxdavi95 2 жыл бұрын

I start to feel sleepy around 9 or 10 pm and then when I go to bed I sleep until 6 or 7 am. Is that normal? I just started to go to college too

@InsomniaCoach 2 жыл бұрын

It's impossible to say what's normal for you since we are all different! If you are falling asleep relatively quickly when you go to bed and feel satisfied with the amount and quality of sleep you get, you are probably sleeping just fine!

@Vouzax 3 жыл бұрын

I really cannot sleep I HATE IT T.T its 5 am here and feel sleepy as hell but still cant sleep ad whenever I want to countless thoughts drop in like seriously I try to sleep for hours and even when I finally do its just a light sleep and my mind keeps waking me up at night after 3 hours or 4 sometimes I cant sleep until morning I JUST CANT UNDERSTAND AND HUNDLE T.T

@InsomniaCoach 3 жыл бұрын

Sorry to hear about your struggles with sleep, Cloudy! I think it can be really helpful (and important) to recognize, though, that you CAN sleep! You mentioned in your comment that you wake after three or four hours - so you are sleeping, it's just that you want to generate more sleep/spend less time awake at night. The good news is, there are things you can do to create better conditions for sleep - as you will discover if you continue to explore this channel! I hope this helps!

@benjamin7746 2 жыл бұрын

How have you been?

@learner3183 3 жыл бұрын

Hi, I can't sleep in the evening and during the morning I feel very sleepy but I cannot sleep unlike before. Pleasee what can I do. Whe I try to sleep in the morning I can't because I feel not safe. It's like my brain is observing if I am sleeping. I don't know what to do.

@InsomniaCoach 3 жыл бұрын

Have you discussed these concerns with your doctor, Jas? If you are diagnosed with chronic insomnia, the recommended first-line treatment for chronic insomnia is usually cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I). Here's an overview of CBT-I: insomniacoach.com/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-insomnia/

@Jojobeans1755 10 ай бұрын

any updates???

@learner3183 10 ай бұрын

@@Jojobeans1755 My insomnia is now gone, These videos helped me to point out the root cause which is anxiety. The knowledge in these videos helped me understand about insomnia.

@learner3183 10 ай бұрын

@@InsomniaCoachanyway Thank youuu ❣️. This channel made a huge impact on how my sleep is now back to normal!

@fistwood 3 жыл бұрын

Hi, the rule of you can;t be in bed if you are not sleepy is a bit hard for me. I just recently developed insomnia problem, and getting sleepy is not a problem, I am always sleepy when its bedtime, but the problem is it takes a long time to fall asleep even tho i feel sleepy, and if I start reading a book again, and do something else, im afraid i will the sleepiness. Any tips on that?

@InsomniaCoach 3 жыл бұрын

It's impossible to remain awake indefinitely! So, if you are in bed and being in bed doesn't feel good, it can be helpful to get out of bed and do something more enjoyable else instead. This can help distract your mind away from sleep and prevent you from reinforcing a negative association between your bed and unpleasant wakefulness. Making sure you are allotting an appropriate amount of time for sleep (and having a consistent final out of bed time) will also likely help reduce nighttime wakefulness and help improve sleep onset. I hope this helps!