What To Do When Your Adult Child Won't Talk To You

Рет қаралды 2,401

Sally Harris- Moms of Estranged Adult Kids Expert

Күн бұрын

If you are struggling with this estrangement from your adult children, watch this!
If you are a Mom that is on this estrangement journey and you are tired of trying to do this alone; and are ready to learn more about 1:1 and group coaching; reach out to me here for a 30 minute consultation! (Not a coaching call)
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What To Do When Your Adult Child Won't Talk To You//Dealing with silence from an adult child can be one of the most painful aspects of parenting. In this video, "When Your Adult Child Won't Talk to You," we delve into the complex reasons behind why some adult children choose to cut off communication and how parents can respectfully and effectively respond to this challenging situation.
We start by exploring potential reasons for the silence, from unresolved conflicts and a need for independence, to more complex emotional or psychological issues. Understanding these motivations is crucial for parents as it helps frame the situation from the perspective of empathy and respect.
Next, we discuss how to respect your child's boundaries while keeping the door open for future communication. We offer practical advice on how to approach them with open, non-confrontational communication techniques, and stress the importance of giving both parties time and space to heal.
We also highlight the importance of self-reflection for parents. This process can uncover personal behaviors that may have contributed to the estrangement, providing insights into changes that might improve the relationship.
Support is crucial during this time, so we discuss how to find and engage with support groups or professional help. These resources can not only offer comfort but also practical strategies to cope with the emotional stress of estrangement.
Finally, we talk about the importance of focusing on personal growth and finding joy in other aspects of life, which can be therapeutic and fulfilling in its own right.
Whether you're hoping to restore your relationship or simply looking to find peace in this new reality, this video is designed to provide you with understanding and tools to manage this profound challenge.
Watch now and take the first step towards understanding and navigating this silent estrangement with dignity and hope.
Don't forget to like, subscribe, and share your thoughts or experiences in the comments below. Your story could provide comfort and guidance to someone facing a similar situation.
0:00 - Introduction
0:45 - my daughter has cut me out of her life
1:25 - my son cut me out of his life
2:10 - my adult son won't talk to me
3:45 - my child went no contact with me
4:00 - What to do when your adult child wont talk to you
4:35 - my 20 year old son doesn't talk to me
5:00 - my son won't talk to me because of his girlfriend
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#SallyHarrisMomsofEstrangedAdultKidExpert #estrangement
my daughter has cut me out of her life
my son cut me out of his life
my adult son won't talk to me
my child went no contact with me
What to do when your adult child wont talk to you
my 20 year old son doesn't talk to me
my son won't talk to me because of his girlfriend

Пікірлер: 45

@nakiacrowder8635 Ай бұрын

I give up…. I’m putting me first for the first time in my life and my children,I believe they became jealous…..

@theodorerooding3536 11 күн бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂 "for the first time..." Riiiiight 🤡

@user-vp7kn3js4x Ай бұрын

I'm an estranged adult child and I think this is a very helpful video. I pray we all find healing🙏💛✌️

@sallyharriscoach Ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing! I'd love to hear your story if you're interested in sharing.

@user-vp7kn3js4x Ай бұрын

Thanks for your reply 😊 My situation is a bit different to most of your viewers. My family of origin discarded me 4yrs ago when I was 53. I didn't see it coming and the shock I felt was incomprehensible. They've never been into conflict resolution so I've been focusing on educating myself about intergenerational trauma which has helped me make sense of my life and current situation. Wrapping my head around it all has felt like being in the twilight zone. I find your channel a comfort as I see there are mothers and fathers out there who do love their children. Keep up the good work 🙏💛✌️

@sallyharriscoach Ай бұрын

@user-vp7kn3js4x thank you for sharing. I'm sorry you're going through that. I'm so proud of you for doing your own healing and moving forward in spite of iit all

@user-vp7kn3js4x Ай бұрын

Oh thank you 🤗 As you know, it's quite the journey. I wish you well 🌼🦋💛🙏✌️

@Kwood10 Ай бұрын

I am estranged from my daughter because I was watching my grandson & my grandson was telling me how mean his step dad is & I told him I’m so sorry I wish he wouldn’t treat you that way 😢 then when he went home he told his mom & step dad what I said & now they are punishing me with total silence 🤐 Iam beyond sad & confused at why I just was sympathetic to my grandson & now I can’t see my grandson anymore . They told me they don’t trust me just because I said I wish your step dad wasn’t so mean to you . I’m just spiraling with thoughts of what I could have done differently but I never know what is going to make my daughter mad & go no contact. I’m ready to say I just need to stay away because I can’t handle the emotional trauma I experience from these long silent treatments .

@beaglerescue5281 Ай бұрын

It will always be something sooner or later.

@sallyharriscoach Ай бұрын

Thank you for your comment. Finding a support system during this time is crucial, If you'd like to learn more about mine, you can reach out to me here- calendly.com/sallyharris-discoverycall/30min

@Sally-ih6ls Ай бұрын

I hear ya…walking on eggshells all the time. We are allowing them control and no matter what you did , it was going to happen anyway, just at a different time and different words you used…they seem to always look for an excuse to ditch us lov8ng grandparents/parents. Who wants a relationship like that?

@PamelaWildman-Williams 2 күн бұрын

I can’t manage the Calendly booking system

@Sally-ih6ls 2 күн бұрын

@@Kwood10 discarding itvwas in the works before this incident, wouldn’t have mattered wha you said, they’d put a twist on it…tryst me been there, done that and still going through the discard…It’s not you, it sounds like the hubby has the control and is manipulating your daughter…stay strong, they’ll be back, just be strong and believe it wasn’t you! What you said was validating to your grandson, they don’t like that!

@toohot1027 Ай бұрын

I haven't heard from my son in 3 years. He lives 2 miles away from me. The reasons were vague, with one brief phone call. I did push the issue for a year, texts, emails, in my defense, because I was never given concrete reasons, I sent 1 text in 2023, 1 letter in 2024, letter basically summing up my life last couple years, apologizing for any issues I could have done better...we were very close, they lived with me during the pandemic, then they got their own house. My daughter in law was someone who felt the need to " correct" my behaviours and utterances. I get so scared because I'm a older mom (67), my son is 30

@sandramcgleish2645 Ай бұрын

My daughter Did the same thing. It’s been 3 years for us too. My daughters and I were so close, did everything together. She and her husband lived with us too. I believe it was my son in law that had a hand in this. I also think your daughter in law had in hand in yours. When they moved out they talked my youngest daughter to move with them. She doesn’t talk to us either. I have put this whole situation in Gods hands. I will pray for you and your son. ❤ I believe (we) did nothing wrong. It’s something they have to go through, and us too. I don’t know the reason for all of this, I just pray our daughters and Your son come back into our lives before we are gone. Like you, we are in our 60s also.

@toohot1027 Ай бұрын

@@sandramcgleish2645 Thank you so much for your compassion and prayers. Sometimes I feel like people are blaming me for this situation, I owned up to my things I did, but not a thing from them. As for the daughter in law, you're so right. They lived with me a little over 2 years, I got to know more than I wanted to know about their relationship. I miss my son so much, and I can feel how much you miss your daughters. I'll keep you in my thoughts as well. 💚

@sallyharriscoach Ай бұрын

Thank you for your comment. Finding a support system during this time is crucial, If you'd like to learn more about mine, you can reach out to me here- calendly.com/sallyharris-discoverycall/30min

@terishumaker7461 Ай бұрын

I haven't seen my daughter in 12 years. We did communicate a few times on Facebook before she cut me off again. Im diagnosed bipolar and I use to be an alcoholic. Ive had treatment and extensive therapy during this time. Im hoping one day she'll want to reconnect but, I know at this point it will take an act of God. I'm sorry to all parents who are estranged from their adult children. I know how it can sometimes take your breath away.❤

@sallyharriscoach Ай бұрын

Praying for you!

@terishumaker7461 Ай бұрын

@@sallyharriscoach Thank you so much! I really admire what you are doing with your channel. God bless you!

@Sally-ih6ls Ай бұрын

Can’t work on yourself if you don’t know what you did wrong!

@marshamagic8551 Ай бұрын

I do not care any longer..

@mariabryson6711 Ай бұрын

The points you make are so important. They are definitely not easy to hear, but give me much to think about. Thank you

@sallyharriscoach Ай бұрын

Glad it was helpful!

@nancyrentas443 27 күн бұрын

I know I gave up Everything for me 3 kids and love and never left them with anyone. They never had to suffer for anything. So I been over it , they speak to there dad tgat kicked us out to live with his mistress and never gave me support for them but I got it done. ✔️ I’m ok now I know how good I treated them….

@impish22 Ай бұрын

another great video, thanks for sharing !!

@sallyharriscoach Ай бұрын

Thanks for watching!

@jennbiser2165 Ай бұрын

What i did was adjusted my will accordingly. My assets will be left to people i still know

@theodorerooding3536 11 күн бұрын

Lol, higher value on what you have than how you engage with people. It's all going to goodwill anyway. Enjoy the company of your stuff.

@Krystaldoll282 14 күн бұрын

I like some of your advice. What’s interesting is if our adult children would learn how to resolve conflict in an adult manner we would have half a chance. I’m not them, they are not me, and we all bring our individual personalities to the game so to speak and we may disagree but that doesn’t mean you have to stop the relationship! Find a way to communicate healthy with one another. They seem to shut off and move on.

@theodorerooding3536 11 күн бұрын

I wonder whose responsibility it was to teach your children those skills? 🤔🤡

@sallyharriscoach 10 күн бұрын

Thank you for your comment. Finding a support system during this time is crucial, If you'd like to learn more about mine, you can reach out to me here- calendly.com/sallyharris-discoverycall/30min

@kaylanozawa4798 Ай бұрын

Often times, the parent is a narc and doesn't realize it. Some parents have 0% capability to self-reflect on their actions, insults, and threats. Adult children couldn't protect themselves when they were younger so they have to step up as adults when their parent's don't listen. 9/10 times out of ten, when I hear grown parents complain about how their kids cut them off and act like victims, I realize that they are most likely not telling the whole story, either. My parent used my insecurities against me, insult after insult, threat after threat, and even bragged about gossiping about me to others. Of course, this parent denied ever saying any of these things treated me like I was the one with mental illness (gaslighting). As a Christian, I wasn't sure how to 'honor' them while also going through this. My step-dad is a big enabler and also went after me with a variety of insults. He essentially said I was a liar and I 'twist' facts even though he wasn't even there for that whole conversation. I've had to have counseling with my priest, prayer, and a lot of self-reflection to figure out if I really was seeing things clearly. It's kind of profound how everyone just confirmed everything I felt and already knew and it gave me the strength to move on. The most painful part is accepting that these parent's may never change, may never apologize, etc. These kinds of parent's truly believe THEY are the victims. When I took space away from my mom, she accused me of abusing her for not speaking to her when I had already told her I needed space. They sincerely don't see it. If it wasn't for my faith, I am not sure I would even try at all.

@bettysorge9 Ай бұрын

Beautifully said and so true. My own daughter has distanced herself from her Narcissistic father. He refuses to see any prob with his own behavior. 🙏🙏🙏 for healing for all of us.

@mindig11 Ай бұрын

Most of the time the parents are narcissistic and see no fault in themselves. They put all the blame on their children which has made their kids feel horrible about themselves. Guaranteed, the child has tried to convey their feelings many times to the parent and was met with stonewalling and blame. Why would children into adulthood want to continue feeling like crap about themselves. I am proud of adult children for finally sticking up for themselves. These parents are being treated how their children felt growing up. Sucks doesn’t it?

@bettysorge9 Ай бұрын

@@mindig11 OMG soooo very true . And yes, it does suck.

@sandeeramm3968 Ай бұрын

My daughter has a controlling manipulative husband and she has sadly taken on his behaviour and she is now trying to come between my other children and myself. We don't talk, I have pulled her up on some of her behaviour and owned some of mine but get hit back with no one wants to deal with your childish behaviour or Im not even going to waste my time reading your text.How do I deal with this, I'm at a loss.

@BarbHolleman-lf4fn Ай бұрын

My sons wife is doing the same thing. He's 32 but we are not allowed to talk to.him. We have to go through her so she controls the narrative

@sallyharriscoach Ай бұрын

Thank you for your comment. Finding a support system during this time is crucial, If you'd like to learn more about mine, you can reach out to me here- calendly.com/sallyharris-discoverycall/30min

@venessatalbert9232 Ай бұрын

My difficulties came when my husband Gerald passed away. We were married for 26 years. We have seven children and 2 grandchildren. One son is gay and feels like he can do and say whatever he wants and can't nobody tell him otherwise. Been doing this since 16. Uses guilt trips and manipulation. Got 2 daughters..one has our 2 grandchildren and she ultimately disrespected me vy saying that her Daddy loved her more than me. My husband was blind and disabled and she always amed me for that as well as micromanaged me as a mother and wife. My husband Gerald had to check her and let her know that he was dealing with those afflictions bu his own hand and not mines, she still didn't care and blamed me. Other daughter is in college and thinks because she's in college, has a good job, and nicer place to live than me that she's better than me and knows better than me. She overly critical, very opinionated, and goes around me when wanting to deal with their younger siblings that's still at home with me which is definite no no in my book!

@joanneb1955 Ай бұрын

But what if they won’t tell you but say you need to figure it out and don’t come back until you do if leaves you speechless dissecting everything and drive yourself crazy they haven’t said stay away just no contact it’s my sons wife who started this she never wanted me or his brother I. Their lives it’s very sad that’s not my son he talks to me so mean he never would of done that to me growing up

@sallyharriscoach Ай бұрын

Thank you for your comment. Finding a support system during this time is crucial, If you'd like to learn more about mine, you can reach out to me here- calendly.com/sallyharris-discoverycall/30min

@theodorerooding3536 5 күн бұрын

Lol, he must have told you "no". Do you really expect a grown adult to act the same as a child? Reflect on what their words were before cutting off. There's possibly a clue there.

@sharonbertsch4520 Ай бұрын

My husband refuses to accept boundaries. He will not, especially with our daughter’s, political talk is not acceptable. Now, this has me being shut off, because of their behavior.

@theodorerooding3536 5 күн бұрын

We all make choices in life. Enjoy the political conversation and no daughter. That was a purposeful choice. As my estranged father told me frequently: suffer the consequences.