"Why can't I cry anymore?" ep.190

No video

"Why can't I cry anymore?" ep.190

Рет қаралды 14,713

Күн бұрын

This week on Ask Kati Anything, Kati talks about why we can’t cry sometimes, and how on the day of therapy we can actually feel better and not share what’s really going on with us. Then she explains how therapists read the room, and how we can all deal with disappointment and frustration. Finally she discusses ways that we can support a friend who recently attempted to take their own life.
1. When I started therapy, I cried a lot in session because it was just so overwhelming to talk and think about my emotions and things I’ve been through. I had never talked to a therapist before so I would just cry out of overwhelm. I’ve been working with my therapist for almost 6 months now and I’m hitting a block where I can’t cry in session. We are talking about trauma from high school and I can run through the whole story without crying. Even my therapist cried. Why can’t I feel this emotion? Is it because it was so long ago? I feel weird not having an emotional response.
2. So I have an issue with therapy. All week I am on an emotional roller coaster. When therapy day comes, I wake up completely put together- like nothing is wrong and I am completely centered. As soon as I leave my appointment I get so upset for not sharing how I'm really doing. I have told my therapist about this, and he told me to write things down throughout the week as they come up and bring it with me. I wrote them down but can't seem to hand it over. I am processing a trauma, and I think I'm stuck due to extreme self-loathing and disgust. He said it's a defense mechanism, which to some extent is true.
3. I'm wondering if you could talk about how therapists "read the room" and "read minds"? How do you learn to analyze cues and signs the patient is presenting with and what if there are inconsistencies?
4. How can I deal with disappointment/ frustration and be more patient with myself? Every time a therapy session doesn’t go as I hoped and we don’t get to work on the trauma as we planned, for example because I dissociate or because we talk about something that came up during the week, after the session I’m always really desperate and hopeless and angry with myself, and also guilty because I feel like should be able to control my dissociation so it doesn’t get in the way so much. It just feels like wasting time and that scares me. My therapist always tells me that I shouldn’t put so much pressure on myself, and I’m sure she’s right, but I don’t know how.
5. My best friend is in hospital after a suicide attempt a few days ago. And I don’t know how to be around her now. My feelings jump around and change all the time. I am shocked, I’m sad that she was so desperate, I am scared to say something wrong that will push her over the edge and try again. I’m relieved that she is alive. I was so scared when she didn’t answer any calls, texts and her doorbell, after I saw the ambulance in front of her house. I’m angry with her, and I feel guilty for being angry. She planned it, and I felt that...
JOINING MY CHANNEL MEMBERSHIPS www.youtube.co...
MERCHANDISE spreadshop-adm...
MY BOOKS (in stores now)
Traumatized geni.us/Bfak0j
Are u ok? bit.ly/2s0mULy
ONLINE THERAPY
While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: betterhelp.com...
PATREON www.katimorton...
SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING HERE
Instacart: instacart.oloiyb.net/y2j2GB
Amazon: www.amazon.com...
PARTNERSHIP
Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com
PLEASE READ
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room. MY BOOKS (in stores now)
Traumatized geni.us/Bfak0j
Are u ok? bit.ly/2s0mULy
ONLINE THERAPY
While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: betterhelp.com...
Join this channel to get access to perks:
/ @katimorton
PATREON www.katimorton...
YOU CAN SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING WITH OUR AFFILIATE LINKS
Instacart: www.instacart....
Amazon: www.amazon.com...
PARTNERSHIP
Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com
PLEASE READ
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

Пікірлер: 50

@robynetaylor6605 9 ай бұрын

I have rarely cried since I had a hysterectomy in 2008. I thought it was hormones. DV, divorce, cancer, COVID, partial blindness … profound sadness, no tears. Loss of a pet, some tears.

@Lemonady 9 ай бұрын

Timestamps! Q1 - 0:38 Q2 - 19:57 Q3 - 23:40 Q4 - 27:13 Q5 - 32:38

@KeifusMathews3 9 ай бұрын

Why can't I STOP crying? Anything sets me off so depressed. Thank you for your videos and ALL you do.

@Mr.NoName1972 9 ай бұрын

Over the past 5 years I've noticed that not only have I been unable to cry, all though I have been depressed a lot, I haven't laughed in over 5 years either.

@ianoYG 9 ай бұрын

This is why I hate my anti depressants, can't cry anymore... But my Dr will help me come off them in Spring and when I have done my ADHD diagnosis

@tonymetzger4714 9 ай бұрын

Me too... Lexapro and Gabapentin have ganged up on me making it nearly impossible to show emotions, even though I really want to.

@vl4394 9 ай бұрын

They're not "my" antidepressants. That was your first mistake.

@vl4394 9 ай бұрын

I've noticed I only feel emotions in dreams. They're sharp and clearly delineated, defined. In the waking world it's fairly monotone and diffuse, just vague impressions of superficial states with an unchanging core, or undercurrent.

@mardiwarner2876 9 ай бұрын

Another issue that should be added to the reason that some people can’t cry is antidepressants. I found that when I was taking Lexapro, my emotions were suppressed. At the time that was ok, after the suicide of my son, but after 6 years, I am off antidepressants. Now I do cry at movies or songs and when I think about my son but it is not all the time.

@nah3193 9 ай бұрын

I still feel numbed even after I stopped taking antidepressants. I've never really felt the same since.

@fr.nicholasvoelker2105 3 ай бұрын

God bless you Katie for your work.

@laurenl720 8 ай бұрын

Growing up, my parents, especially my mom, told me “don’t let that get to you”,: which caused me to believe it wasn’t ok to feel however I was feeling. But it was how my mom was raised. Ive gotten better at feeling my feelings, but since my grandma’s funeral last week, I’ve felt myself shut down again. 🙁 but I know that’s part of the grieving process, and me dealing with PTSD. Another great video. ❤

@nikkimckay860 9 ай бұрын

Hello everyone here in the comments and good evening or morning or afternoon depending on where you live in the world sending care /love and prayers to everyone whos going though mental health issues ❤❤❤

@SocraticMethodGuy 9 ай бұрын

I wish I had this problem. I just went through the most hell like binge and withdrawals horror show of my life from last Wednesday, until Monday. I have never cried so much in my life. I can still cry on command right now if I wanted to, just by thinking about that traumatic nightmare and my addiction. I'm a man who never cries. I've cried more in a week than I have in 2 decades. Good times.

@EvalenaSheets-of7zb 9 ай бұрын

This podcast has helped me so much I struggle with a lot of stuff I just wanted to say thank you and to keep up the good work❤

@annking8633 9 ай бұрын

This caught my attention...listening...❤

@LBC22123 9 ай бұрын

“Do you want me to call your psychiatrist, maybe we need to increase your medication” just because someone says they’re fine but look anxious? I really like some of the things you discuss Kati, but when things like this are said I really struggle to decide if want to continue watching. My reason for this is that I want to focus on a trauma informed anti pathology approach. You do you of course, just thinking out loud.

@liase2963 Ай бұрын

I cried almost every day for 10 years. Never got better...

@nikkimckay860 9 ай бұрын

Kati Morton.hello good evening from Nikki from United Kingdom been a while since I been able to get back into watching and listening to these podcasts I'm back and have missed being in the comments I am going though bad physical health issues right now I had a biopsy on my leg and stiches and I can't get out for upto 2 weeks and my depression has been suffering more it's great to see you and hear your calming soft voice lastly good and important questions you always have the best and helpful answers to people s questions ❤❤❤

@DIrizarry07 8 ай бұрын

My mother slam/pinned me up against the hall closet when I was 12, I was upset (don’t remember what she was yelling at me about) and crying. As I was pinned, she snarled “no one gives a fuck if you cry, anyway” I immediately stopped and find my body WILL STOP ME from going there even when appropriate. I did cry silently in secret when my hedgehog died in 2020, so that was good. I try to make myself feel by watching reunion videos on KZfaq. It works sometimes, when I can talk myself out of the fear and embarrassment. I have been in therapy for almost 2 years now and am diagnosed with PTSD. I wish parents understood and CARED what they do to their children SMH

@Blackbird58 Ай бұрын

I can cry for other people or animals in pain etc. and when I hear certain types of music but not ever for myself, I really want to though because inside I have a huge stack of pain built up over a lifetime that I desperately want to release but whenever I come close to shedding tears it feels as if someone is grabbing me around the throat and wants to deny me that "safety valve". it appears as if I really hate myself and want to punish myself over and over and over-it effectively IS like that.

@annking8633 9 ай бұрын

Being in the presence of military personnel make me cry, not much else.

@shannongreenlaw321 5 ай бұрын

I think my medications make me less able to cry. On rare occasions that I felt so much distress that I thought I COULD cry, I didn't give in. Not because I was ever told that crying is bad or weak etc. but because of the simple fact that AFTER I DO cry, I feel WORSE, NOT better! I have let myself cry twice in the past 2 years, let myself "let it out" but felt WORSE after and for the rest of the day. Therefore if I ever do get the feeling that I could cry, I fight it. What is another way to get that feeling out that ISNT crying? Also, due to witnessing how my father expressed anger while growing up, I express it like he did which is when I'm scared or sad etc, I go to anger and defensiveness and passive aggressive and avoidance. But if I do feel upset, instead of crying I punch a pillow or a hard inani]mate object like a wall, headboard, floor, a few times.

@laurawilson5666 Ай бұрын

Hello Kati, My family and I have been and are going through a lot. I feel so much shame and guilt because my PTSD has made everything worse. But Now I have been so sick of what my PTSD has done that I've gone the other way into wanting to trust people so much that I will go up to complete strangers and ask them to help me get some food. I hate putting my self in danger like this but I am so sick of my life I can't seem to stop. Please help!!!!! I don't want to be murdered or molested again.

@nikkimckay860 9 ай бұрын

Kati Morton.i like your top and the light make up you are wearing you always look good no matter if you wear make up or not i still wish you was a therapist in United Kingdom near me i need a therapist like you ❤❤

@girlpower2644 9 ай бұрын

I’ve cried in therapy one time because my therapist was sure it was impossible to get a reaction out of me, so my therapist and my mom tried to make me cry

@jelly-cat- 9 ай бұрын

wtf is wrong with your mom and therapist????

@damrod 9 ай бұрын

That sounds like a bad therapist to me though ^_^"

@girlpower2644 9 ай бұрын

@@damrod i was mad at first, but he wanted to observe how I reacted I get why he did it, he also let me cut the session short after

@james22939 9 ай бұрын

You’re the best my friend

@zairehaylock4974 9 ай бұрын

Hey, Katie. I love your new video.

@curtisbemis6640 8 ай бұрын

I cry alot when I think about all the friends I have lost , three this year . I have few people left that I feel love me . I feel like everyone I love and loves me dies , like I'm jot worthy of love .

@nicolebrown1927 9 ай бұрын

I don't know why but I got kinda tickled when the person with the first question said that even their therapist cried but they couldn't. I'm goofy, don't mind me.🤭

@jeannine5368 9 ай бұрын

Why no more time stamps for the different questions 😢

@johnlord5982 9 ай бұрын

I have the whole feels like I'm talking about someone else thing in my sessions. But it doesn't feel like I'm trying to keep the feelings inside or trying not to cry. I would like to be able to feel or express something but have no idea how to make that connection. My father died recently and the only time I cried was when a relative came up to me in tears and it was like I was feeling through them rather than feeling for myself. I also suffer from depression and anxiety and have had people say they think I could be on the autistic spectrum though my therapist doesn't think I am but does think I'm neuro divergent but doesn't explain. I feel confused and unsure of who or what I am.

@staceyruwoldt9158 9 ай бұрын

My best advice I can give as a Neurodivergent myself is to do your own research said with kindness and respect. No- one else can tell you who you are..... As only you yourself are the expert on your own experiences and emotions♡ I only discovered whom I was through very deep and thorough research.. By looking at videos on the Internet from other Neurodivergent influencers/ creators 🙂 I went a quarter of my entire life being completely unaware I was uniquely human/..... Had invisible differences and what that meant, as they're other forms of neurodivergence like ADHD, Dyslexia, OCD just to name a few not only Autism 💗 I'm in no position to tell you.. Whom you are, my only suggestion is to do your research like I did and, it unlocks a whole new world to answers you never had before♡ Neurodivergent tick-tock videos can help, but..... Most of all Neurodivergent content creators on KZfaq:) Once you start to find resemblance to other neurodivergents, trust your insticts and seek out those answers as only you, know what.. It's like to have these internal experiences and internal emotions, nobody else has the right to tell you whom you are or whom you're not..... Just in your own time I would suggest doing some real thorough research, maybe even joining a neurodivergent support- group, like on Facebook or something that's what helped me heaps, especially.. When I was still working out what those invisible differences were I have, hope this is helpful and that my comment/ advice was of benefit to you, take care said with kindness and respect ♡♡

@menow1650 9 ай бұрын

I can't figure out if I'm just not chronically sad anymore and can uplift myself easier...or if there's something wrong with me. I can well up with maybe a few tear drops but I get relief sooner. Or there's just so much going on in the world that I can no longer connect to tears anymore. I have never been a big cryer , except a few times that I gushed tears. [death of a beloved pet in 2016 , and one health issue in the late 90's]

@betzi_star 3 ай бұрын

I don't cry anymore because I am insanely overmedicated. And I am not taking any meds. So yeah.

@BEACHDUDE71 9 ай бұрын

I stopped at 18, and I am 52 now

@blackpebbles1881 8 ай бұрын

14:20 what would be your suggestion for a high schooler like me who still has to live with their parents so therefore can't avoid them? I have no safe space in my life so I'm forced to live in a constant state of fear and anxiety of setting them off Edit to add: I have 0 friends, so that option is out, and my SO and I are long-distance

@ryannesumbry4130 9 ай бұрын

Time stamps anyone

@notinternettype 9 ай бұрын

Sometimes I cry when those St. Jude commercials come on.

@pinkkittymusic 9 ай бұрын

What if people are wanting therapy to be productive or are rushing to fix problems because they have a time limit? For example, they can only afford a certain number of sessions or it's free for a certain amount of time. I was offer free CBT but only up to 3 months. Or maybe they are in a toxic environment or have physical barriers or other responsibilities so they can only do therapy in at certain time or environment.

@betzi_star 3 ай бұрын

yeah, drugged again btw. lost my tears