I remember having "phases" of my hyperfocus even wayyy before when I was a kid then growing up. From different magazines like for girls, disney, for boys or cool topics, anime.... to novels, then to games like BoTW or splatoon, etc... but Genshin kept my interest for 2 years now lol.

@@pottop880 it's a struggle when you get interested in expensive hobbies and every time are convinced that it will stick, which of course it won't.

You can game that system sometimes if you can figure out how to anticipate burnout and swap hobbies beforehand

@@pottop880i had that too

Me, who has spent dozens of hours reading about various things and ending up buying far more than I need even though I know logically that's the case. Like buying 5 pairs of headphones for over 1k type bad. Or 7 high performance flashlights for 300 dollars.. etcetera. And even worse, spending hours upon hours a day reading forums for a week on end, or watching every single video KZfaq has on the subject. And it might take a year for that interest to cycle back around. The least harmful type of hyperfocus would be that if it's interesting, I'll easily read a novel in a single day. It can get problematic if I get deep into it and read a book series for basically every free hour of every day for a week straight. And yet all the things I logically want to do, I almost can't unless I catch myself in just the right mood, or have ADHD medication that diminishes the barrier to doing it. Though said medication also doesn't help one not focus on the things they want to, just that it's easier to put it down when you actually need to.

Lmao I've dipped off the tab like 9 times

I feel this

Same. But i can watch just about any other 2 hour video without a problem cuz it's more interesting to my brain. Very annoying, i have that with all of Dr. K's videos.

Felt

Play a game while listening, as long as the game can be played "mindlessly" and there isn't much reading or character's speaking to pay attention to. I've listened to hours of Dr. K while playing Bloodborne.

Dizz happens to me all the time

Brushing your teeth counting as an accomplishment . When you know, you know.

If it helps the average school just sucks regardless. It was designed for a specific function and we haven't changed it up

I remember a girl in school randomly asking me, Why dont you care about anything?

@@michaelstephens360 finally I see someone say it, ok so embarrassed about it all the time but it’s just so hard. It really is an accomplishment to get done. P.S. thanks for the reminder

I’m in the same boat as you. I was diagnosed this week with it and my life makes so much more sense lmao. I’ve struggled very hard in college and try to tell people I just can’t focus and I’m not sure why. Now I know why and it’s validation to a point

Oh boy. Yeah. Thanks Mom. 😂🥰❤ I was “gifted” and put into special classes for part of my days starting in 2nd grade....but no one questioned something might be wrong when in third grade I was sitting at the table at night crying about homework...or when I went on to not have excellent grades....meaning they gave me the label of gifted and left it without ever questioning why I wasn’t living up to my full potential. School was so difficult for me until nursing school because I was actually interested in all my classes...it was still extra work for me to push through and manage my time and keep up.

same here, diagnosed at 29 lol

In the meantime, you have fallen behind 10 years in life. Same here.

I’m nearly 55 and was finally diagnosed about 6 weeks ago. At school I was always described as “very bright but lazy” or “a daydreamer”. One of the comments which comes back to haunt me even now was my form tutor confiding to me when I was in Upper Sixth (year 13 in modern) that when I started at my Grammar school they’d had me down as a “science student” due to my high test scores (98% in my first physics exam) but I ended up as a mediocre “arts student” with only one A level (instead of the expected 3). Fast forward 30 years and I’ve never been able to drag myself off the bottom rung of the employment ladder. Perhaps I should’ve been less lazy and tried harder?? I’m now grieving for all those lost opportunities and a wasted brain. But at least I am starting to forgive myself… my glass remains half full (when I concentrate really hard and don’t get dist

I can’t believe nobody responded. Yes, physically sick 😷 is how I feel when I’m forced.

Oh yes, of course my body turns the attacks into itself when I know I can't freaking punch the real problem, which are them who fed me up.

What works for me is to couple a dreaded task with spmething I like.. For example listen to books while doing housework or walk outside during a business call. This tricks my brain to feel like I am doing something fun and interesting so the dopamine hit comes..

I feel that last bit, but my fantasies are... dark and macabre, the likes of which are scarcely found in true crime stories. I generally view NTs with a baseline of resentment and disgust, and masking is something I need to do lest my true feelings are known and they conspire against me. Don't get me wrong: being feared offers a nice peace of mind and a relaxing power trip, but they outnumber us, and stepping into our power will cause mass resentment on their end leading to a democratic ousting. Just remember: Instill fear, but always give off an air of kindness. If you can't help it, it isn't your responsibility, so feel free to delegate tasks. This is our world, and they are living in it.

That describes my life in a nutshell.

Right? A few weeks ago, I had to pull two consecutive all-nighters to finish a project for school, largely because of falling down numerous rabbit holes of reading up on interesting things having nothing to do with the project. If my brain doesn’t want to focus on a task I don’t want to do, it just won’t do it, no matter how much I try. :/

@@tookitogo when you have project to finish but start researching egg vs chicken and you end up learning about black hole psychics

@@kattodoggo3868 I know EXACTLY what you mean! And from black hole physics you end up reading about black (the color), then black pigments, then clothes dyes, then the Citarum river, then nasi goreng, …

very true , first half hour i study and my focus at its peak but after that i start losing focus and totally get distracted in random ideas

Which is why “attention deficit” is so misleading. It isn’t a lack of attention but rather the inability to control how much you can maintain focus and attention on what. For things that feed your brain dopamine (aka things you like) this tends to become hyper focus. For things that do not feed your brain the much needed dopamine (aka things you don’t like or don’t stimulate your brain) you cannot force your brain to focus, or feel that dopamine rush…

Microdosing helped me get out of the pit of my worst depressive episode, a three year long episode enough to start working on my mental health

Can you help with the reliable reference I would really appreciate it many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable reference here in UK. Really need

He's Shane.myco

The shroom experience stands as my most remarkable journey, an awe-inspiring encounter that left an indelible mark of amazement.

He’s on insta?

Same boat 🚤

I'm right there with you, man.

Same.

When I felt that way, mathematics saved me.

Invest in some 🍃

There's a good acronym for this that I like: INCU: Interest, Novelty, Challenge, Urgency

me too. right now i only really do my schoolwork when my grades get bad and i was only productive right before the semester was over so i could get my grades up. its really sucks

@sen Oh my god that explains so much. Video games literally hit all the adhd buttons. I never realized that.

@@Tirannie this is absolutely true. It's how I keep my room clean/do housework as a uni student. Most people are so surprised that my room is clean, but it's because I am passionate about not living in mess/being able to move around and stuff in my room. It stopped being a chore and instead made me feel bright and clean after doing it.

@@EggEnjoyer i dont feel the fear or urgency motivation, not sure if its adhd or because i have asd and adhd but i feel that meme to my core. if im enjoying something i can achieve great things, if i dont enjoy something ill achieve less than nothing.

Well said. My experience is that my adhd would swoop in and save me at the last minute too… until it didn’t. I’ve lost that ability in recent years. Currently exploring hormones (perimenopause) and burnout as contributing to “breaking” my adhd “last minute rescue” system.

When you get older this last minute thing does not work so well anymore.

@@Tonisuperfly omg yes, I’m only just realizing I have adhd and likely asd and am also experiencing perimenopause. That and the fact that I’ve healed so much deep stuff that peeled off my masks before I even know I was using masks to cope with life. Life feels like it’s caving in on me at the moment with all of it. I’m like how did I ever do so much before?!

I quite literally am interested in everything. If i didnt lose receipts (lol), I would better be able to see the amount of shit i buy due to interests i have. I picked up rollerblading a month ago because i supervised a school trip to an ice rink a week before and wasn't too bad at it on the trip. So i bought some, got really good at it even learning how to cross over and spin in 3 days without falling once and now i struggle to even put them on and go outside. Dont get me wrong, im still interested in all the things I've learned 5-10% of, but executing and continuing it is where i struggle. My one complete achievement I learned Spanish fully by myself and i think the one thing that helped me achieve that was i put myself in situations where if be worse off if i didn't know it. I couldn't even complete university, failed on the last module in the last year. I'm currently learning simultaneously, how to run a small business, sewing, animation, coding, arabic, Swahili, Portuguese AND my father tongue WHILE having a full time job... I hate how i cant focus on one interest. It feels like im missing out on all the other interests that i have. I feel like my concept of the future isnt the same as someone neurotypical. I can't wait for things i can't foresee. It doesn't make sense to me to not do everything at once. But then i struggle to even get going with any of these things after I've learned a basic to moderate amount. edit: after reading back, I'm going to try and go out on my skates today wish me luck 🤞🏾

@@deechonada yeah, I have only found one thing where I lost interest quickly, and that's American football. Which I'm pretty sure is just because I get sick of ad breaks. It's almost always something novel that takes me away from interests, rather than boredom. Totally incidentally, what dialect of arabic? Have a great skate!

Yup

Me too, has addiction of some sort been an issue for you? Be it alcohol or tobacco or whatever

@@jack.6956 no addictions for me. I do use food for comfort and out of boredom.

I see, relationships have always been very difficult for me. I forget holidays alot until last minute. Social situations can be confusing/tiring at best. And I don't seem to care about anything MOST others do like sports or concerts or whatever. Sometimes I wonder how I got lucky enough to have my son and family and friends yno?. I take comfort in knowing I'm not alone tho I guess.

@@jack.6956 weed and junk eating and money spending addictions

I find the whole transitioning process incredibly difficult.

Yes. The transition is what’s difficult

@@noeliaurquizo4620 Still figuring this out. ... Syncing... Sinking... 🙌 It helps to isolate the challenges enough to name them. Before that, it's this nebulous mess. Somehow both nothing and everything. How can we address what we cannot fathom? Others offer well-meaning but uncharitable explanations, ascribing lousy motivations that don't ring true. Invaluable being able to put it into words. Naming allows me to fill that void where comprehension and explanations would be. Small as this is, it's _true._

It also just so happens to be the 'Most Replayed' timestamp in the video lol Had to listen to it three times to fully grasp what he was saying.

Agreed

This is weird for me because I used to be like that but games have gotten boring for me too, I used to play hours s and hours each day but now I have to force myself to play more than half an hour.

hence why i had to give up gaming after the xbox 360. i didn't know it at the time, but i could play for 16hrs a day no problem. i no longer play video games for this very reason. i'd get too caught up.

In a 9 to 5 world filled with boring tasks that u have to do over and over again and never get any real rewards, playing a video game is the escape needed to not go completly insane. I dont consider myself a big gamer, but I use it to get away when life gets to much.

Fax

Maybe your dad experienced the same issues you're struggling with and he only had the ineffective strategy of getting angry at himself. Maybe "just do it" worked for him? Delivering a conclusion about what you should do because he doesn't have any idea about the really effective tools you need for a real solution is how minds work to simplify and classify problems. He can only imagine you "only care about gaming" because brains want simple solutions that don't require self-education or extra effort on his part. Although it seems as if parents know it all when you're a kid, parents definitely don't - no requirements to know anything to be a parent... Perhaps a school counselor or another relative could help you? Rather than mentioning ADHD, (which he says is only an excuse) perhaps better to say - I think this youTube video describes what I'm struggling with. I'd like to try some of these solutions - I need understanding from you. Please invest in me.

I had the same experience when I was in school

It sounds way too much like my parents, like the description is spot-on to the point that I felt my heartbeat getting alarmingly faster, that's how spot-on it was. I love my parents and they love me but sometimes when they do that, it angers me to a stratospheric level even though, I never really lashed out at them even a single time in my 18 years of life.

my parents also don't really understand that it's not something I can just do better with and that I am actually mentally ill

Same here. I miss them also. But I just do what I like now so stay in flow. Or sleep more. And sport and body work is good to. Take care buddy

I agree

Iq is always the same

@@tifthetif6567 - It is not, it changes as you get older... sorry to break it to you...

@@montycora with age yes, buy not with ratilin...

@@tifthetif6567 - Of course it does as well. The Ritalin corrects the attention deficit in the brain, thus elevating the IQ. Do you know that attention is part of the measurements of someone's IQ?

Couldn't have said it better myself mate. Also I refuse to believe that there's something about the self one can't control or optimize. I've found the commonality is that people with ADHD no matter how extreme can wield it like a weapon when taught. Medicine never seems to actually accomplish that task, and that's the main source of 'treatment'. I've found that the healthiest, happiest, people who were labeled with disorders initially were ones who in practice got off their medications and took responsibility for their mind which you have more control over than people are comfortable admitting. It takes a lot of strength to do, but it's possible. Medicine should only ever be a temporary solution and only if it's absolutely necessary because we are messing with something that is more intricately designed than we are prepared to handle.

This weeks best comment on youtube! From a Swedish 47 year old Guy on my 50th trip to Brazil got diagnos 2021 ADD (know this since I was born) anyway 2023 I will get help so I can be a normal robot 😂 they will give me Ritalin then when this will not work I will get Ylvanse that will make me be a normal robot 😂 if you hear Swedish healthcare is world class I advice you to think one more time 😭🥳🤣

I watched a number of videos and cannot wrap my mind what "average person" the experts are comparing to. Most of them are "descriptive" and not quantifying the degree and feels slippery.

This is true. I guess your trying to say there is room for improvement? Your ‘normies’ can change. Like terraforming a planet while living on it. You have a disability. Incapable of living in that environment until it changes. It’s not an insult, it’s a fact. I’m bipolar supposedly. I could function well in an environment made for me. But I can’t in this one. So I have a disorder in this environment. And it’s so bad that legally im disabled and can’t get a job. It feels insulting. Because I know I could do well. But not in this world. Not in my lifetime.

@@echo-hotel You are correct about the fact that some disorders aren't cripling people, and improving a world for them, equally improves the world for others as well. When it comes to ADHD, a third of the entire planet has the genetic traits activate it. A third of the planet carry the gene. Yet, a lot less people actually have ADHD. Meaning, there is a genetic marker for it, very similar to people being left-handed. I understand your comparison to being Bipolar, but these are separate and not in the same playing field. I might be 100% wrong on this assumption, and if so, I apologize in advance. Yet... ADHD is much more common than we might have thought originally, yet we treat people who have ADHD. People without it see our issues as issues they have as well. Not in the intensity we have. Not even close. They feel they understand, but don't. And to fix these issues, they themselves say "this works better for me as well". Similar to men learning more by seeing and doing, compared to women (who can absorb books better then men, on average). It's suiting a learning style that benefits all of us better. Which isn't discussed yet in politics. I can think of a world where people with ADHD function better, and regular people improve along with it, without holding anyone back. I can't say the same for Bipolar individuals, because I know too little about it.

I don't know if they "deserve" help. I don't think thinking we deserve stuff is good for us.

Myself and two children have a prefrontal cortex cocktail of Adhd, Tourette, and OCD. It's really hard. Medication is really hard to balance as well.

@@Kavriel maybe the better word is need or require

@@Skarry Oof... Life really shot you in the head with the genetic russian roulette... I hope you're okay.

I'm trying to get the proper medication for it but my psychiatrist keeps prescribing me medications that don't do anything and I don't know what I have to say or where I have to go to get an actual stimulant medication

I was struggling to decide whether I probably had ADHD or not because I did not relate to some of the symptoms, but it turns out for a fraction of that category, I did have said symptoms but I have normalized it in my head since this is pretty much what I've been dealing for the majority if not the entirety of my life. It's so normalized that I tend to forget/not attend to certain aspects of the disorder. For instance, I can forget or misplace things and they would cause me an acute distress in the moment, but when I find the item (or if I made peace with the fact that I lost it forever), I will dump that memory away somewhere else because I need to focus on other things. Forgetting what I'm forgetting, symptom-ception. My friends also didn't question any ADHD because aside from how it's usually seen as hyperactivity/impulsivity (whereas I was primarily very inattentive), I did really well in school (general education; I'm struggling much more in college) and *I* brushed things aside with a laugh so they just saw it as a "me" thing (personality feature), not a disorder. I told them I left an orange in my bookbag for months and one of their responses was, "Why am I not surprised?"

​@Cameron Schyuder i didn't suspect I had adhd until I was about 25 - 26 and didn't get diagnosed until 29 (last year). So I went my entire education with undiagnosed ADHD, anxiety, and depression thinking (and lowkey still) thinking I just dumb 🫠

It's literally a disability. Not only that, it is a developmental disability. This isn't some temporary need of a cast or crutch. It is for life. It's rooted in the hardware of a person. This is the HARDEST thing to accept. Not only for a lot of people in society, but people who have ADHD. Because it doesn't always feel like one and it doesn't need a cane. Accept it does, it's just not visible. Anything from non-typical work around tactics, medication, CBT whatever it is IS the cane. The way society demands a person to function is not something someone with ADHD can do. People who are successful in spite of it happened to find ways to do so that work with their limitations/hurdles/conditions. There are a ton of people out there with jobs that if they didn't have those specific areas to work in, they wouldn't function. Lots of youtubers, gamers, creative types have ADHD. They need those jobs because it stimulates their mind. I've known lots of people who put off (myself included) getting even checked out or who suspect they have ADHD and struggle to accept the idea at all. The world really is ableist with out meaning to be and especially to issues and conditions (even physical) that are not visible to anyone looking at them, including when we look in the mirror.

I have friends that don't seem to understand it. The whole "Everyone has x" Yes, but I have it times 11 and it ruins my ability to function. You lose your keys for 30 minutes, retrace your steps and find them. I lose them entirely for hours and now I'm late for work, or I lost them entirely and literally have to go to a key maker so that I can function. Not to mention the countless memorabilia and sentimental things that you misplace or accidentally throw out. It's no wonder I have a bit of a pack rat mentality. I hate the phrase "That's just an excuse." Yes, that is the POINT of an excuse! What they're really saying is that they don't like the reason and they want someone at fault because a thing that is out of the power of everyone makes them feel powerless. Blame is a game of power when you put it on an individual who is assumed to be able to change the situation.

This is a great read, thank you for sharing Ryan! Your family is lucky to have you as their father figure.

Does ur children have adhd

Very well put & a great testimony.

REAL, this is exactly me

you need to talk with your mother about how she wronged you and how that makes you feel. you dont need to forgive her, dont blame her just have a conversation about how that's something that happened and how it impacted you. accept that it happened and that there's nothing you can do since it already happened, but also if you're able to get her to acknowledge it i think that would help you a lot. work on improving yourself right now for the future, get evaluated for these things and get treatment for what you can. the sooner you improve yourself the sooner you can be independent and move out.

The "gifted kid" bs schools pushed did nothing but harm. It made non "gifted" kids feel bad, and it made "gifted" kids feel like dumbasses when we eventually fell off, which in my experiences all of us did have a drop in grades during middle school.

I got tested and diagnosed at 29, was a "gifted student" too, even in university. Never really studied that much and passed in all courses at engineering. Medication hasn't changed my life yet, but it did help a ton regulating my emotions. I still have motivation problems that affect me severely. Understanding and learning how you work will take a long time, but it will help you live better and forgive your flaws.

yeah no we all have shit parents, im on ur side. my mom is literally so irrational and close mindedthat i cant go thru a day without her yelling to make up forr her issues. moving out will make things better edit: i was a gifted student as well if that helps (im still higher iq than averrage but my studies are suffering coz adhd)

I understand your situation. I was a gifted kid and my brother had a very pronounced and visible case of Tourette's. Our family was often strapped for resources so he received much of the bandwidth when it came to parental concern/attention. I was the gifted child, destined to be a doctor or professor, or great scientist. In the eyes of my parents and teachers I didn't need help or guidance. I was going to get there by expectations and potential alone. The signs of ADHD were there, I had excellent grades but could only do things last minute when I could hyperfocus the night before a large test or deadline. My parents told me that I wasn't meeting my potential, and that my laziness would be my downfall. How could I complain about focusing on homework when I could be on my gameboy all day? I didn't begin falling off until 3rd year University when my terrible study habits were no longer sufficient to get excellent grades. I passed my classes after semester 1 with 60-70, but I had never been a less than 85 child (due to a lot of pressure from my mom and natural ability). Unfortunately that send me spiralling, I hated myself for failing to meet my potential and my grades tanked in the next semester where I failed my first class. I barely managed to keep my GPA high enough to pass my course and graduate. I went into Uni top of class, and graduated near the middle/bottom. A decade later, after a ton of self loathing, and a life filled with distraction and avoidance behaviour I sought out a ADHD diagnosis after one of my employees had her son diagnosed. I was floored at what she told me, she described me as a child, when speaking about her newly diagnosed son. I'm sorry your mother is in denial of what you have. Ignoring a diagnosis of depression due to ego is disgusting behaviour for a parent. I wish you luck with seeking a diagnosis and treatment. I now have been on 3 medications, they do not change your life, but for me it feels as though a weighted vest has been taken off, a burden on my soul has been lifted. It has helped me improve in some ways, but it won't be a cure all. I suggest trying other mental health techniques as well. My best results have been with medication, self reflection, and eventually meditation (though I am terrible at it).

Any tips for how one can “redirect their lightning?”

@@brxntrxn -Finding an accountability partner like a friend, parent or classmate can help. Writing down when you're most focussed can help you create the better studying conditions (i.e.: where you're studying, what time, diet, recent exercise, etc.). Plenty of ideas but those are two big ones that have helped me

@@brxntrxn Ask uncle Iroh. He seems to know a lot about it.

@@uber1ns4n1ty8 this made my day

@@brxntrxn what’s the chances of appa asking this question 😯

What kind of meditation do you do ?? Any resources that you could share please ??

​@@Lakshyam9+ andrew huberman's work on both ADHD and meditation

Coming back on this comment, what meditation technique helped you the most?

@@yeahboi686 silencing the mind, and being of singular focus.

​@@yeahboi686dr k talked about this in a dedicated video. The eastern original meditation apparently works great for adhd brains.

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

Is he on instagram?

Yes he is. dr.sporesss

It really makes you think how much a person had to struggle in order to create something so beautiful 🤔

this would make sense why music is one of the only things i'm really good at 😂

Russel Barkley mentions this as well. It's down to personality - and of course your personality will be shaped from having untreated adhd - but personality doesn't come from a disorder. It comes from multiple variables, as well as how their surroundings and themselves react to their symptoms of adhd.

I spent 14 hours nonstop on one drawing that I did from start to finish without references and it’s probably the best piece I’ve ever done. It has gained me nothing.

​@@ZionSairin You must take what you did further to get more than "nothing." Art EDU gives the wrong impression that being an artist with their work sold by a gallery is the only way to succeed as an artist. As a gallery artist, this piece would represent a collection of perhaps twenty pieces similar to it. If you have that many, then you can photograph them and go to a gallery and the gallery will sell them all to you and ask for more - especially recently large non-representational abstract artwork is in demand. The inspired creation of the art itself is only perhaps 25% of the art "business." (As is being an awesome composer is only 20% of the success of being a musician - who have an even harder time succeeding than artists!) One of the cool things about being ADHD multi-talented is you can shape your raw talents to amplify your preferred activities within your own business design. Some of these "business designs" of how to make a living off of what you make are codified - like a franchise. But perhaps the one you prefer isn't, so you need to design it yourself. You must strategically get a benefit from your art, which will be just as creative as the art itself. For instance, someone I know loves the subject of animals - She house-sits and her house-sitters pay her not only for house-sitting but also they buy a portrait of all their pets that she paints for them - she gets a paid place to live AND paid for her art! A drawing can be the first part of many forms. Now that you have this drawing, you can sell it to someone else as a plan for a larger work. Consider it the awesome plan for a much larger work - expand it and make it into a 3D sculpture, a mural on a building, etc. This way the drawing becomes a sales presentation for you to get a huge bunch of $$ upfront, half on completion. It could become a personalized greeting card, a "big business card" that makes you memorable to others. Anyway - now that you've made something you know is valuable - run with it!

Are you taking any drugs too?

Well said! I’ve also made more peace with my ADHD and it has taken the stress off. I worked a lot with healing my trauma (which is a lot, I had 8/10 ACES) in the past 6-4 years. It’s been hard but worth it. However, perhaps it’s easier for me than other’s since I’m not as “bad” in terms of ADHD as other people.

A million times this. ADHD meds left me with a flying kick in the chin when they stopped and I realized, after months of working through my moodiness w/ my wife, that I am probably, actually, having my OTHER, non ADHD issues flair up when that happens. I know that ADHD meds activate your stress/survival instincts, but what I didn't realize is that I was effectively burnt out from a life of feeling deep, deep shame and rejection (Possibly amplified by RSD) that I had gotten REALLY good at ignoring. Plus, it doesn't help when you can take a pill, and start accomplishing and making progress on your goals that you just recently decided to have after a lifetime of just kinda existing... then have that 'jet fuel' slowly sputter out and die every afternoon. Really effective recipe for sudden onset imposter syndrome, where it felt like all I had EVER done in life was A) Just since I Started pills and B) 100% due to the pills. And throw in a little C) The comedown effect makes you jittery, feel weird, and all the other post-stress effects on the nervous system at the same time. I'm off chemical ADHD treatment, but I have a feeling I may be able to navigate between the two states much better as I'm making real noticeable progress with my off-pills shame, mood, and dysregulation.

SAME, that's exactly how I've felt until I finally resolved some internal conflicts that I've had over the last year. My adhd has gotten significantly easier to handle and I can finally start working with it instead of against it to get stuff done.

@@vazzaroth some people handle it better or worse than others, I stopped taking mine at 18, I opened my eyes and I'm in a uniform, holding a rifle, yelling commands in a launguage I never thought I would know. Now I just feel there isn't enought time in the day to get everything done, between kids, work and wife.. we never get a break.

So true 😅

Sooo true😅

what meds did you get that worked? My entire life i basically just got prescriptions for stimulants that benefitted me barely but messed my brain and body up

They put me on SSRIs, benzos, mood stabilizers, and then anti psychotics, I finally got to try a stimulant (adderall) once I got the adhd diagnosis and it's worked really well for me. I do a 20mg XR dose once a day in the morning when I wake up. I won't lie battling sleep is still my biggest issue, but as long as I take the stimulant early enough, and manage a good sleep routine I tend to be okay. My mom ended up with an adhd diagnosis, after I got mine (go figure lol) but she was prescribed Wellbutrin (which is a mood stabilizer). I've been through at least 40 medications and been in and out of therapy since 14. So It's been a long journey, and you definitely have to work on yourself hard and figure out what works best for you. Medication isn't going to solve everything, the biggest thing has been fixing my trauma and self esteem through therapy, being vigilant about diet, exercise and sleep, as well as managing daily routines that works for me. Good luck! @@lenjack7700

how do you speak up? currently taking anti-anxiety meds but i noticed ive gotten much more unmotivated, and ive been sleeping more. I feel horrible because i have all my final projects due this week and i haven’t started/finished most of them 😭 no one takes me seriously and it feels super unfair. how do you handle this? :(

But those things are generally only negative because we have created *a strict and rigid life and cultural expectation.* We have created a society unable in some manner to handle that their are different types of people and demands they all be the same easy to know thing to plug in to the system and fit it's same unyielding schedule that is actually broken for most people. If, say, you were a retired person with a self-sustaining house and garden, and you were turning to different enjoyable artistic pursuits, then enjoying to dive into something further would not be perceived as negative but as enjoyable pursuit of liberty. Saying, "I enjoyed cleaning the house so much, I turned focus on cleaning the shed too," is not a bad thing, unless it comes at the expense of some other duty or obligation that ought to have been attended to. I agree with others who have differentiated the focus-type spectrum from the unhealthy/immature versions of those. For instance, one may be naturally gifted at attracting the attentions of others. Independent of _being good at attracting people,_ the person could also have healthy or unhealthiness stemming from this. They could be severely insecure, always needing to be the center of attention and always fearing losing it. They could be nefarious in their use, manipulating people to social attention and attraction to take from them in some way. Or they could be healthy, enjoying that they are good at that, but not _needing_ the attention to feel good, and also using their skillful manipulation of people's interaction for the benefit of all. Leaders actually need people to follow, or all their bold aggressive drive amounts to little more than self-aspiration. _If everyone_ was focused on boldly and aggressively pushing their agenda like most natural leaders do , then we would see constant competition and butting of heads. If all the people were inclined as supporters, nothing would get done. It would be a never ending circle of "what do you want to do?" "whatever you do. What do you want to do?" "whatever you want us to do".... We need both. The same is true for type of focus. To anyone with a little knowledge of history, were Tesla, Edison, or Einstein even remotely considered normal or balanced people? Yet, their very imbalance (to some real degree, inability to be happy doing things the normal_ized_ way) is what gave them the ability to improve society so much. If our society cuts those people out or forces a structure that has no room or tolerance of them, then *we lose their benefit to society and condemn them to lives of dissatisfaction,* as they are forced to work outside their competence and will never fit in as 'normal'.* *As with a person, it is not strength but disability to be unable to handle different situations and deal with reality.* So it is not the _strength_ of our society to be so rigid and inflexible that it cannot handle the truth of different types of people, with different giftings and limitations. Our schools tell boys to sit down, be still, and quite - like nice young girls do so well. Our schools use metrics that tell one student you are exceptional and another a failure, because it's easier for the system than acknowledging that different people are better at different things and instead focusing a finding and enhancing their individual capabilities. *This is not strength of our society, it is an immature and selfish stubborn denial of reality and an attempt to deal with that imbalance with reality by forcing people into fit a one-size-fits-none sheep mold.* (PS. I offer a little background for my criticisms against schools. I excelled in school, with easy A's, frequently acing or near acing tests, while my younger brother struggled in the same classes. They made him feel stupid, because he wasn't gifted at math. They then tightened their focus on what he was bad at. Fast forward to adulthood and post college careers. Burn their stupid tests to ash! He excels at knowing and managing people. By most objective standards, he is more successful than I am - in complete contradiction to anything school would indicated.)

Same lose track of time and stay awake till 4 am

That is exactly what I do. I NEED to know all the ins and outs of something, and I can't stop until I'm basically forced to. I can't just skim the top and move on when I get hit with the hyper focus. It is incredibly problematic in life and work. I've learned a lot of things, but it's mostly useless knowledge that isn't going to help me out in life.

This is unusual. Most people with ADHD would do this in 5 minutes instead.

@@bobobsen I wouldn’t say it’s unusual. Perfectionism and ADHD go hand in hand. Also, because of past mistakes and frequent correct, many people with adhd overcompensate and mask their symptoms through perfectionism and overthinking. Throw in hyperfocus and you have a recipe for obsessive hyperfixations that deregulate your life.

it can indeed differ per person and whether or not the hyper focus is on smth that helps you achieve a goal you wanted to achieve

@@AnymMusic it would be an advantage if you had control over it

@@kattodoggo3868 Or if it coincidentally helped you with something you wanted to achieve. An analogy: you don't necessarily need control over the lottery to win, but chances are you shouldn't rely on the lottery to pay your bills

i have the same. the only thing i indulge in is immediate short term rewards, everything else feels completely braindead non rewarding pointless

So close to getting the treatment you needed, I'm sorry to hear that. I never knew I had ADHD as a kid and wish I did too.

Same experience with me, diagnosed at 22 and felt extremely frustrated at the neglect of very obvious symptoms growing up by everyone around me- whatever the reasons for that may be. Caused a lot of unnecessary suffering but I guess that's the karma of the past, my focus is on utilising this newfound knowledge to mitigate the misery in my life and actually accomplish something I'm proud of. I'm aware there are countless people diagnosed even later in life than me as well.

@@daaki0 yeah, I didn't get diagnosed till 23

@@springdeerling7866 What were your symptoms?

If you don't mind sharing

lmaooo

Then you should probably check the MemeAnalysis channel. Wont regret it.

I do this as well, helped me get through my finals as a senior

Yes, chunking the tasks, and crossing completed tasks is satisfying and rewarding. Dopamine?

May I ask what alarm app you use? This may be helpful for my teen. Thanks.

Yep! My to-do-app also gives this nice DING sound when I get something done lol

"I knew I wasn’t dumb but I felt dumb." This one hits hard. Now that you say it, I am finally recognizing it.

So you depend on your boyfriend to make you feel better, etc. Don’t you think that unhealthy in the long run? What if he leaves you one day or it doesn’t workout, would you be able to handle it mentally?

yeah - sweet that your boyfriend can do this for you - but perhaps extend that connection to help you find other means to settle yourself that's not necessarily connected to what another person can (or cannot) do for you. An activity such as exercise or something you can do all by yourself - but connect it up with doing the activity with your boyfriend as a tryout.

@@TheGlowingOnee You're not entirely wrong. It's not necessarily unhealthy, but it could still cost them a lot. People break up more often than not these days, and break ups tend to be devastating for people with ADHD, especially if it's someone they are close to who can help coping with ADHD. The reaction can be bad enough to look like Borderline Personality Disorder. But in my experience it's also tremendously hard for people with ADHD to make connections, and they need those connections. They have little choice but to rely on other people for motivation, validation and such, if no other option to manage ADHD is available. Perhaps it's just me, but i have a sneaking suspicion that those with ADHD may be clingy, especially emotionally.

Same

Same! Diagnosed last year at age 56, It is definitely not a super power for me. I’m horrible at multitasking…and in my office job, I am struggling. It’s all about metrics… And I try to work as fast as I can, (very metrics based) must hit certain production goals ( and try as I might, I can’t work fast enough) I’m not one of the ADHD types that is able to multitask and work fast 🥺) I’m actually thorough and believe in quality over quantity…. But I had to throw that out the window! Anyway, the whole reason for medication was because of my job… nothing really helps that much but people notice I sit at my desk. I don’t talk to anyone and I just work all day and it’s still not fast enough🥺 I feel like there has to be something else wrong with me! It was only a few years ago that I suspected I had ADHD… because life seemed to get more difficult …..The title of this video drew me in… I want to know why life is so hard! Also, I never had depression, anxiety, or any of the other mental conditions until my ADHD started really causing issues with work, and it’s also now affecting my executive functioning at home…. I literally put all of my energy into my work and by the end of the day I shut down… 😢 Sorry, I’m on a rant… could go on an on… today was a particularly bad day! Really don’t make much money for somebody my age… But what am I gonna do change careers and make 30,000 a year, go back to school? I have 10 more years to work before retirement (age 67) Ughhh

are you on medication? I have the same feeling, but dopamine reuptake inhibitors can basically artificially generate that status for like an hour. Then i can feel the old state of mind slowly creeping back. Like for me it feels like my conscousness is beeing compressed and my thoughts become like wrapped in fog. Then when im hyperfixated its suddenly all clear and my mind feels expanded

S A M E

i’m very similar, but my perfect gifted grades stopped at grade 6 (i’m in year 1 uni, finessing my way through). i’ve never been able to focus on academics since even though i am sure and confident im smarter then most. it feels like id rather do anything else, but bad grades feels shitty. im gifted in extreme realism art but cant use my talent because i cant sit down for periods of time. i cant do things i truly in my heart want to do. it sucks.

Sounds like you could have a thing there, yeah. There’s an 18 question screen for ADHD in adults online; the first 6 questions are the most important, “often” or “very often” answers to 3 or 4 of those are highly suggestive of ADHD.

Abso-f*cking*lutely. It’s like I’m the firefighter AND the toddler with the box of matches, so I’m just running around all the time putting out the fires I started. Self-diagnosis was a revelation, professional diagnosis was a relief, and stimulant medication a lifesaver.

!!!@@bakerfritz4681

yup!! For me it feels powerful when I'm focusing on work, art, sports, or whatever I wanting to do. But then feels completely paralyzing when I'm trying to be productive and I cant stop ruminating or self analyzing. I sometimes get stuck a loop of noticing a distracting thought/feeling & then hyper analyzing that thought/feeling, which just makes it worse. :(

I'm so glad I watched this video, so many people in the comments with similar experiences makes me feel so much less alone. Thank you for commenting :)

Heh. I had a conversation with my therapist the other day, discussing my anxiety, and I mentioned that my brain is like a herding dog. If I don't give my brain something to do, it will *find* something to do on its own, and usually that means anxious ruminating. I'm much less likely to have anxiety issues if I have some sort of mental puzzle to work through in the background.

Useful to me was that, factually, it takes a full 90 seconds to switch emotional states. So I made a list of positive things that took me more than 90 seconds to read out loud. Now when my mind gets going on a negative direction that I realize is completely unnecessary - I get out this list (that I posted on my fridge so I won't lose it) and read it aloud. Works every time!!! So much that I continue to collect stupid positive things to add to the list. Not so sure why negative things I consider so "important" and worthy to go over and over and over....and positive stuff is considered "trivial" so that it's skipped over lightly and almost dismissed. This strategy of the "positive collection" has been a hugely viable solution for me.

My advice for strong BAD emotions is to MEDITATE broski I love you

Absolutely!

What's the career path uve taken?

This internet stranger is also proud for what it's worth! I think most ADHD people need a creative job. It seems to be the thing they all gravitate towards. I'm in the process of getting help getting a job and I know it needs to be something on one of my rotating creative hobbies, singing, art, dancing and writing. I won't have the motivation and stimulation otherwise.

That time on Minecraft isn't focus though, its escapism.

@@Akiraly14 I'm making a joke tho-

@@Falc0nFight3r what kind of ironic sarcasm as you on?

@@Falc0nFight3r "I know I can spend 36 hours (not even joking) on Minecraft, to this day." and then a claim that you were making a joke. To Joke? Or NOT to joke? Teasing jabs aside, I can totally relate to not being able to focus on things I need to, but I can waste away my focus on the things that interest me. The absolute worst is when you can't even focus on the things you do care about. There would be times where I'd want to be playing my game, but I'm stuck in my head and can't even focus on said game. That is what I'd call "Focus Hell". I'd call it "Focus Prison" in the milder forms.

@@Akiraly14 What's your point? My escapism in a game keeps my mind from freaking out over both my mental and physical disabilities. I have EDS and have nerve damage and lots of issues that 15+ surgeries never fixed. I'm on a cocktail of drugs that only kinda help. Moving practically breaks me. I'd rather escape into my games than try to live and keep falling apart.

I've been looking to try shrooms for depression, just very difficult to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

YES, I'm very sure of Dr.benshrooms

I hate that psilocybin gets grouped with drugs like cocaine and heroin. Mushrooms are a remedy, not a vice!

How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta

Yes he's Dr.benshrooms.Lsd and psilocybin are amazing teachers along its dmt mah dudes have safe trips all. Shrooms are blessings from nature.

I see ADHD more as a condition. just makes it seem way less severe than if you call it a disorder. a mental condition vs mental disorder, which would you rather have

Totally relate to this.

@@AnymMusic Why don't we use the word disorder the way it's meant to be used, then? "Does it impair your life severly?" - No "Then it's ADHD, a neuro-logical/developmental/behavioral condition" - Yes "Then it's an ADHD disorder, a neuro-logical/developmental/behavioral condition and a mental illness"

I wish I had this outlook about what I have. I have been diagnosed since a child. Although who knows if that was done right because I feel so terribly dumb compared to others, I feel like I have more than just Aspergers and adhd. I feel super (s)uicidal about how I think everyday. But I literally cannot hold a job and I cry about everything especially when voices get loud and yelling starts. Today, I need to do my taxes and cannot bring myself to do that. I find these all super negatives so I’m finding my own brain function as a huge negative. I’ve been in bed just mesmerized by videos and comments. And I really do wish I had that kind of brain... those thoughts. It would be amazing to think of anything other than planning my own funeral for once in my dang life

This, all of this

Don’t give up broski

Best of good and luck!

Good luck!

You got this! And if you feel you don’t, it’s awesome you’re getting help. Godspeed future laureate

Getting a diagnosis has been immensely beneficial for my mental health.

How was your experience for the process of getting those diags? Was this on east/west coast, mid states (general area)?

@@world_still_spins I got diagnosed in Texas, and thankfully with good insurance so it wasn't awfully expensive. I scheduled an appointment with a psychologist office for an ADHD evaluation (they will also generally do screeners for depression and anxiety). You'll want to pick an office that has experience in ADHD diagnosis specifically. I filled out a bunch of questionnaires about me, my family history, etc. then went into the office for a brief interview and cognitive test. Got my report with my diagnosis a few weeks later. Honestly the whole process was pretty painless for me, except for a several month wait time for the appointment. Most other people also have to spend more because of insurance differences. I'm working on medication right now with a different office.

@@jamespeterson7125 Thank you

it can depend. Hyperfocus can be useful, but it depends on if that focus is when you're working on smth that you also wanna reach a goal in (like for instance me making music and wanting a career in music). my big issue is starting new things even if everything's lined up. like social media for instance and making content. I know I basically need to for my business, I already kinda know what I wanna make, and I have a rough idea of when I would wanna post, but even then I have the idea in my head that I hate social media and content creation because I've slammed that into my head after trying and failing, and now I don't wanna try anymore/am scared to try again. unfortunately I've noticed that that's pretty much the solution to a lot of people with ADHD. having to figure it all out yourself. yes meds help on the short term, but it can't be healthy to always be on the amphetamines and so we basically somehow gotta figure out ways to make things work for us which is an absolute pain 😬

@@AnymMusicThanks I get that we figure out ways for ourselves I fail in long term due to hyperfocus cause I get tired easily after hyperfocus (And if the task is complex, it never gets completed) I take too much time for something very minute. Then I mess everything up by thinking I can handle all my baggage & get demotivated (take too much time as Rest, All time gets Wasted)

True, the enthusiasm doesn't last long and you can get stuck doing things the hard way just because you like doing it that way more. Then eventually you stop feeling the initial enthusiasm and either forget abt it or do a half-baked job of finishing it. I try to catch that early on by either assessing if I really will care abt the goal I want to achieve in a month or 2 or if its work or school, what way would be the easiest instead what I feel like doing, but its hard af to deal with sometimes man.

lol we intellects will always piss everyone around us off, people are threatened by how little effort we take bthat others struggle with

We are very fast learners but only if we are interested and our mindset is right (aka not depressed or burnt out)

In my experiences with ADHD I'm able to remember the most random fucking facts (mostly weird nature facts) but not the one thing I actually need to remember.

I started failing classes by refusing to go to the test even when I already passed in terms of grades because I felt like I didn't earn it (barely spent any time on it). ADHD will teach you to very easily get through school and many other things.

I always used to get called a liar because I would skim things and get the gist right but the details wrong. I have a hard time trusting what I know because of that.

before waiting a last minute try using a timer. It helps.

This is spot on..peace from Ireland Alisia

love this!

and the worst part about it for me is that I can know exactly what I have to do, but I can't start it. like I'll literally be able to explain my entire idea to someone, but can't make any progress on paper. :(

What was the proper treatment?

Me either

I'm zoning out

I've already tuned out.

Absolutely! It’s always been the judgement that haunts me… when I don’t judge myself I am free! I like being free to flow when the moment strikes :)

that is so true jesus

False that sounds more like autism

Not fully my experience. Not regulating my energy has kept me from doing things I want when burnt out

I think it's only half true. Like with the example of Russel Barkley, sometimes you really shouldn't have done the thing that you were doing because it made you miss a goal you set for yourself. Even if you completely take away the layer of society, some people end up with eating disorders because their ADHD makes them eat so irregularly that their body says no. That would be a very extreme and severe case, but there are less obvious examples of this that aren't as simple as "society is setting unreasonable expectations on us, so it's society's fault."

Sounds like shifting the blame to me, which is not healthy or particularly empowering. Harsh rigidity is a barrier to all people with most if not all types of disabilities. Bureaucracy is a huge barrier to people with ADHD, because bureaucracy is inherently rigid and designed (sometimes purposely) to make people give up. Accommodations and accessibility are actionable and results-oriented, but not blame-shifting to "neurotypicals"

this is also great..some great comments on this video..Peace from Ireland!

It's a deficit because your attention is displaced rather than focused like most other people. Let us say your attention is 360 degrees around you, starting from your eyes, wrapping around past your ears, and all the way to the back of your head. Normal folk will have the center of this circle shifted forward closer to their eyes allowing for a majority of their focus to be on what's in front of them. A person with ADHD can have the center of the circle shifted to either ear or to the back of their head. What this leads to is, essentially, more focus on separate topics rather than the important things directly in front of you. Hyperfocus comes into play when your circle rotates such that the largest portion of your attention span lines up with what you are doing, want to do, or just happen to be doing. This is how I've visualized ADHD in my head, maybe this could help. Of course, it is not this cut-and-dry, but it makes sense to me.

@@BlahBlah-wp9gr "adhd" means you have more focusing power and so you focus greatly on what is stimulating because that's what focus is. "you" don't "decide" anything, just the human brain pays attention to whatever is the most stimulating. its like extraversion, extraversion doesnt magically change into something else when covid hits and you cant go outside anymore compared to when you were comfortable in a dynamic work environment. it makes me so mad when people talk as if adhd is some disease that pops up whenever you have to do homework or that stimulants make us sleepy or whatever retarded shit what you are describing is more like open mindedness honestly, which makes you more abstract and intelligent. people with high openness have a hard time dealing with adhd but dont have it in higher prevalence than close minded people.

@@phillip4307 What I tried to describe was my own experience with ADHD and it was not a literal one either. I was simply visualizing that the access to attention is limited based off of any number of factors, hence why I said that it could shift. My intent was to show that everyone has an allotted attention span and it is more focused in people without ADHD. (which I represented as towards the eyes, the thing you observe the world through) The person with ADHD will have this "circle" of attention be biased in a direction elsewhere and will rotate, allowing for instances of hyperfocus. I was not trying to literally say that a noise to your left will have more attention placed on it because that's where the circle bias is. Focus is defined by interest, and interest requires your input. ADHD gets in the way of the transaction between interest and focus. Which is why one may not be able to sit down and read a book for more than a minute or two. You can say that it's just because you don't like reading, but I quite enjoy reading and I'll have times where I can't. Also, this extra "focusing power" you mention is merely the attention that goes unused throughout your life when you should have been focusing. It just so happens to be in a stretch longer than most people. Due to your misunderstanding, I will change the shape of attention for those with ADHD to a dodecagram. This will allow for focus to happen when the thing to be focused on is pierced by one of the points. The dodecagram will be larger to make up for the lost area, and the length of each point can represent the duration of hyperfocus. Hopefully that is simpler to visualize.

100% with you there

I hear you…

Yup