I think one of the difficulties with first time meet ups is that gay men immediately ask themselves whether or not they would sleep with the guy. They don't really give time for sexual attraction to develop when it isn't there immediately. Maybe that's a problem. Maybe it isn't.

Ive been with my partner 13 years. we started as friends and got to know each other really well.

A lot of gays are against traditional dating but i think it's good way to guage each others energy. If someone has good energy you'll pick up on it right away. Personally for me like you energy is very important because you want to feel good and confortable around people you choose to spend time with.

Hi 👋 I'm in my sixties now. I'm over dating. I have been single , and I prefer being on my own now. It's good to meet someone like you have at a cafe. It's better than a bar , because drinking alcohol can spoil things , especially if a person starts getting intoxicated. Also getting to know a person without any sexual contact is better. I found it hard liking a guy , but he wasn't into me. But I had to accept that he has made a choice. Good luck with dating. As you say be yourself. From Carl.

Gay relationships often fail because the part where a guy is always "on the look/hunt" for someone better even though they already have a partner. Their current partner never seems to be enough for them. I know this exists in hetero relationships but it seems much more prevalent in gay relationships.

This guy just seems off to me through out this. Like description of dating like is makes sense isnt wrong. The mannerism and tone though. Seems tired of dating, reserved and apprehension. Couple of barriers seems. What i notice flaw in gay dating very common is some want perfection and a cinderella movie all the time. There are people that are attractive that want in a relationship but can never be a relationship or date more than a month. They have too many requirements and idea of what the relationship should be how the other person should act. It is a choking environment. Like a plants they require unique environments to grow. One should be able to understand flexibilty. This doesnt mean settle but knowing the balance and understanding what prerequisite might not be realistic as expecting perfection is just a contant source of disappointment.

Totally agree with you on your first date idea. I much prefer a casual first date, like coffee, walk or a hike. Think that gives you an opportunity to see each other in a more natural, genuine way.

I could write a book or even books about gay relationships. There are many complications and a lot are the fault of the Gay lifestyles. I got very lucky, going on 49 years with my partner (husband). I'm a Man who loves a Man and that statement and belief, alone, whips out almost half of the Gay population. I love women, but never ever sexually and my partner feels exactly the same. So there you have about one-third of my book. If you have no idea what I am talking about, I am sorry. We never ever became obsessed with sex. We fooled around with other even during our first ten years or so, but the trust was there and the obsession for others was not. There's another third book. And the last third deals with how you treat others and how you think you appear to others. And, of-course, how you Love your partner every day, every month, every year.....NOT until you find someone else. And there you have it. We don't have sex anymore, but we have everything else and those were the most important attributes from the very beginning.

Honestly I think friendship is a solid foundation.

Hi Joe, The algorithm suggested your channel to me a couple of days ago and I'm glad it did. I've watched a few of your videos and have enjoyed the stories you are telling. (The fact that you are cute doesn't hurt either) Thanks for sharing.

Humor is so so important... I say this as someone into the fourth year of a current gay relationship and a previous relationship of 16 years. There will always be struggles in every relationship and being able to laugh at some of them together is very helpful. Love the vlog and you are easy to listen to and easy on the eyes 😊

going to need an update on you and second coffee shop guy :0

Hi Joe loving the relaxed vibe of your content. As a fellow Sydneysider and someone who’s been in a relationship for 6 years I can say that we’re lucky to live in a city that is so diverse in people, having that is something I’ve appreciated for sure when it came to dating. Also used to live next to that cafe they have the loveliest owners 😊

Waiiit idk why this random video was recommended to me but … i might have to stan ! Subscribed !! ❤

algo hit me at great timing, as I was especially thinking about how being with someone would be nice haha. ty for the genuine advice n I wish the best for you and your date :)

Going by heterosexual standards in a homosexual relationship can be a problem.

I have a great relationship and we both truly think it will be a long one. But the first thing I saw was that I liked the way he looked, I can't be with someone just becaue of their personality because in the end I will feel tempted by any other good looking guy, but if I have something good at home, I dont have to be looking at other people. We spoke and saw each other almost every day and I saw his personality, his green and red flags and then I was able to know if I was able to bear it or not, also how we handle disagreements and he has never been unrespectful, he always attack the problem, he says we are fighting the problem, not each other. He has many good things and also works in anything I consider could affect us, I stayed single for a long time, but knew this guy is worth it and of course, I'm also extremelly good as a couple.

Thank you for sharing you cool dating scene. And thanks for the continued learning about dating. I continue to still learn about seeing new people and dating also from here in Chicago, Illinois USA!😊

Sounds good! And we didn't move in together til a year had passed. My partner said "I'm homosexual" which was a surprise but we had 40 years together til life moved us on.

I went on numerous dates before meeting my now partner of nearly 7 years, so damn hard in the gay world but we pretty much knew we were right for each other on the first date

Hi…just came across your channel. Really loving your videos for you keeping your vlogs simple and straightforward with nice shots. M now officially your new fan from Malaysia ❤️

Great video and practical dating tips! Another option that I discovered years ago that works for me is being single by choice, not default, and opting to not actively date. That freed up quite a bit of my mental and emotional energy and gave me a sense of balance that I didn't know was possible. Being single by choice and opting to remain that way is another great option, along with choosing to remain child-free. Lots of great choices and options in 2024 compared with 10 or 20 years ago.

You can do it just always follow your intuition and how people make you feel after a meeting them and never apologise or explain yourself when you get uncomfortable

Not sure why this was recommended to me either. But fascinating, nonetheless - in terms of observing the kind of narcissism that's required to make these kinds of videos, let alone the journeys some follow to develop the 'influencer' complex so to speak.

yes on protecting energy!! I had a date recently where the energy was off the minute we met, but was scared about being rude / leaving. i wish i had done the toilet method :') also, you at 6:33 i swooned

I found this calming and useful. Cheers! New subscribers here

All I got from this video is that dating is hard because people lack patience and expect instant connections without working towards them - Looking for an exit strategy from an hour date because you're energy is slightly off? There's nothing wrong with asking about someone's job or where they grew up. Those are ice breaker questions that are intended to help get to know the other person and get the conversation flowing, obviously there's more to a person than what they do for a living, that goes without saying. It's obviously going to be hard to find someone if that's your way of thinking. If you can't pivot a conversation from those questions, then maybe you're not that great at conversations...

As with any form of dating, finding a genuine, meaningful connection can be difficult. This can be exacerbated by societal pressures and expectations.

Great video - good advice

This is a like an awesome Gay-Sydney version of the London Diaries - love it xx

Totally! it is harder to meet people. Let´s keep our hope that someone valuable and with mutual chemistry will come into our lifes 👏 Hope things go well with this new guy you´re meeting ☀

Loving your content so far man!

Enjoying your vlogs Pinsan! Totally agree with you, don't let others consume your energy! It would be worse if you don't get the vibe from the guy, but he does, that would be uncomfortable lol. You seem like a positive guy, and I believe in fate, meaning you'll find Mr. right when you're ready (As I did with my now Husband, who's also Filipino) Salamat Po!

This was spot on. Liked and Subscribed. See you again

Sir, this is the THIRD Quiet Place movie lol

Just subscribed ❤

You are nice, smiling guy, it makes dating easier and more effective

Love your content!.😎

Real words Joe, gay dating is a minefield at times👌

You sadly can know pple for 40 years and not really know them at all , I thought it delightful in younger years love , dreams , picket fences , all disappointing , best I had was a married turkish guy and sent him home for all the ironing etc twice a week and goes 3 times a sitting , heaven ❤

Congratulations on meeting the new guy.

I think is simply: it is because hipersexual behavior on the community is what have drove us to not have meaningful love relationships. I certainly believe that if sex is maintained as secondary while moral and values go first, we can have a good lasting love relationship for sure; It is important also to point that this is more about self decision than chemistry, compatibility who is bottom/top or whatever; However if all that comes up then great is a plus but not a must. Another problem is also the incapacity of maintain the relationship due to let desires, temptations or weaknesses win (open relationships, sex with other people out of whatever and self issues) and again this comes with decision: "I decided to be with this person and not let my body or other persons destroy it" this does not mean that you have to accept toxic a relationship but to be a better person and fight with your own weakness for the sake of the relationship and your partner must have the same goal.

Absolutely agree with you about just being yourself and downplaying the first date as much as possible. Same goes for going up to someone you like but who you don’t know yet and downplaying the fact that you are interested in them. Just be nice, curious, and sociable; eager to get to know them more as a possible new friend or acquaintance, instead of divulging your secret attraction to them or overthinking and worrying about everything transpiring, hoping you’re making a great impression on them. I’m naturally an over-thinker, so I personally know what I’m talking about. 😂 It took me a long time to learn to downplay everything, and I do mean everything, despite overthinking it all. There’s no reason to be in a hurry about anything unless you’re just looking for a quickie, which may indeed be the case at times. But if you’re looking for a serious relationship, reducing your introductory speed and keeping your emotional distance 😂 is a great starting place, realizing that if something romantic is meant to be, it will be. And if it’s not, well you’ll be glad you didn’t overreact or divulge too many things. 😅 Myers Briggs is a great tool for figuring out one’s own personal likes and dislikes, as well as for figuring out other people. I have a rare personality type, so I don’t mesh well with people who don’t mesh well with people who are different. That’s a really important thing to know about myself, which I certainly knew before from my life experiences, but before taking the Myers Briggs test, hadn’t realized it was due to my rare personality type. Now that I know what’s up, as well as what things about me are important and will never change, I’m better equipped to date and choose a more compatible partner. I am also very independent and all about enjoying my life as is, as a single guy, and protecting my happiness. Many years ago, when I was too eager to get into a relationship, I repeatedly experienced a lot of heartbreak. So I know how important it is to just enjoy my life as a single guy and whenever dating, to take things really slow to avoid becoming entrenched in a relationship that can turn into a f’n nightmare. 😂

Why gay to gay relationship is so hard because some of the most gays are super judgemental especially the looks and height... If it will come... It will come

What if the guy is not used to engaging- a bit shy? Don't know what to do? Because even though it's a more of a chilled out zone, like a daytime coffee, it's still a bit staged and he may not work it well. Do a common interest. May be you should have just gone a bit extra and gone for that walk regardless. A doing activity will bring another out. You never know.

You look amazing 😍

Man, I wish I'd had the opportunity to date someone as cute as you when I was your age 👀

Hahaha I kind of know most off the place in your videos. City boys are pretty picky and seem always frantic from my experience. Hehehe Too much chasing and forget time are passing by 😂😂😂

👍👍👍👍 yep the energy has to be right….instinct

If its gonna happen it will happen without the two of you knowing. I met my long term guy and out first date lasted 3 days before i went home. then 2 weeks later I moved in his home...that was 26 years ago. :)

When you are home, alone, talking to the camera, why do you need to talk directly into a device? Why can't you just talk to the camera? Also, did you go on a 2nd date with this guy and what happened?

They turn the lights on.

Each to their own, i gave up years ago grindr hook ups are ok if you want to empty your load but the amount of times the guy messaging wanting a hook up has a partner but * i love him... but the sex is boring !! for most gay men relationships are over rather quickly, we have all levels to put up with bears twinks muscle mary,s chubs . we are a very picky group as aguy whose into fitness want a chub no . i want some one who is also proud of their appearance. yet you knock back a chub and all hell breaks lose . ps saw some of your older vlogs i will send you a razor a smooth face suits you.

All dating is tough no matter who you are

After seeing this video. I'm certain, the problem is you. The way you started says it all. The whole thing was very contradictory while I'm sure you think you're verbiage is wise. Maturity will change that. Hope you find it when the time is right.

Joebro❤❤❤

Can "vibe-ing" really happen in one short encounter? Can you really get to know the nuances of another human being in 15 minutes over a cup coffee? I seriously doubt it.

R u a Filipino born in Britain ? Just curious 🎉

Awesome advice, just being friends at first and learning about each other before getting into something serious

I think their is no comparison between gay and heterosexual relationships because they are not the same....

Are you Vietnamese?

Damn he's hot

Why gay relationships don’t last specifically in Sydney or don’t happen to begin with? That’s what you get when you have heaps of gay hookup apps that you can easily download on your phone and your computer. If you treat human relationships in a transactional way, that’s what happens. Not to mention ‘straight’ married people and partnered gay people that are looking for hookups and no commitment at all. Remove all that from your life and you will find the person you are looking for.

Hi, I’m in love with you

Dating is like Hook up more this generation.. your handsome.. visit California some cool people lol 😅

you're such a cutie-pie. I wish I could be your boyfriend.

Sydney and gay dating don't mix 😂. Stay single, work on yourself and be happy. Forget about dating in Auatralia. Waste of time mate.

Is hard because most of the gay guys looking for guy with big one ! And must be handsome so all other gays are jealous !

You seem a little judegy and impatient. There are people who get nervous on first dates. Someone asking about what you do is normal. You should have gone for the walk. Young people today are soooooo impatient. It's a byproduct of the digital age and social media immediacy.

Love your videos...do u live in Australia..... YOUR VERY HANDSOME...