Yeah, the movie Daniel from 1983 had line that made me realize that toxic people are harvesting and farming their targets through irrational guilt: "So you ask, what is the motivation for a man to do what he did? Well, one motivation is to believe, or to have been persuaded to believe, in his own guilt. And to live in mortal fear of the consequences. Another is to believe, or to have been persuaded to believe, in the guilt of his friends and to live in mortal fear of the consequences." I learned that they scapegoat their targets, project and blame others - by nitpicking and criticizing other people's targeted mistakes, flaws and lack of knowledge. In this way, you are flabbergasted in reaction, you have no defense, they shut you up - since you are in position to defend yourself, they are always one-man-upship with them where they are always in superior position without any responsibility, and this is because they focus on perverting our need to be productive, to be good member of society, to be helpful member of community and to do our job in correct way, without mistakes. Mistakes are normal part of life, yet they highlight it as guilt - this way they impose perfectionism onto us and they exploit loopholes in unwritten social contract where you must be fair to others and keep your part of deal by fulfilling your tasks. In this way you cannot stand up for yourself - since they specifically target in their criticism, blaming and guilt tripping your honest mistake, flaw and or lack of knowledge, so they have argument which you cannot refute. Mistake is there. Flaws (internal or external) are there. Lack of knowledge is there, even when there is philosophical fact that no one can have absolute knowledge - we are not gods nor computers. So instead of recognizing that mistakes are normal part of life, they turn it as deliberate act of aggression. As if we are aggressive one. As if we are hurting them by our mistakes, flaws and lack of knowledge. As if they have no mistakes, no flaws and they know everything. And if you speak something as your defense, they turn their criticism into mocking such as labelling you as snowflake, or they label you as you are taking things too personally so you are too sensitive and that is the only problem according to them. I also noticed that these people are actually hidden snowflakes, they are extremely mistaken, flawed and have serious lack of knowledge - that they learned to cover up by wearing narcissistic mask of superiority and narcissistic anger. This is especially hard for people with Complex Trauma, where you were exposed originally to long term narcissistic abuse and blaming and criticizing in times when your brain was forming and now it is adult brain with injury - where you are as adult now hurt easily by negative comment, criticism and negative evaluation of anything about you or what you done. This can easily turn to social anxiety issue. It is because people naturally set their boundaries by nitpicking, criticism, having opinion and expressing what they dislike. So instead of Glasser communication tip such as negotiation, listening, gathering all data and then responding if necessary, you are instead in reactive state either by shutting up and self-censorship which stems from toxic shame and breeds low self worth issues and moral injury (witnessing unfair situation and not doing anything about it), or being in reactive state, where you are easily triggered by criticism into emotional dysregulation. Another complex problem here is official medical community not recognizing complex trauma as concept, not recognizing toxic people as concept, and instead you get Classical CBT advice that you are the sole problem (which means more of irrational guilt and self-invalidation) because you feel panic and fear and anxiety due to random criticism and blaming. Instead of explaining anxiety and irrational guilt as normal reaction to abnormal people, abnormal situation and abnormal events. Classical CBT says that you must stay in toxic relationship as part of Exposure therapy, as if you will magically get used to toxic criticism with time - and instead if healing, you actually end up being people pleaser and codependent and pushover and fawning - as the result of Classical CBT instructions where your panic symptoms are being explained to be as the only problem.

They don't hesitate to say, "shame on you."

So clear, I'll have to listen to you several times, thank you very much, you help me a lot!

Thank you Rhoberta... this is the perfect video following the group discussion we had today and my questions.. all the things said, he did say that..

Thank you🙂

It has to have more views. She is really good

I have lived like this for 25 years counting. I’m struggling

They want to be more significant and you insignificant. That goes back to emotional immaturity because how could these people expect someone to stay with them. If someone thinks you are genuinely inferior end insignificant then you would leave and go where you are important

Sometimes bigger is actually waste and redundant. So it sounds like an immature boy to think bigger

And you cannot inherit the guilt from science a true or false religion

Okay so they try to make you feel indebted to them😉🤢