😂😂😂

HAHAHA

I’m dead 🤣🤣🤣

Yep. Steal them fruit snacks from those kids too 🤣

Lol

nothing wrong with dating as long as there's no drama in the gym of course

@@dougsmith6917 it alllllways goes left this man is a one in 10,000

@@nickp4207 Nah, I've heard tons of stories just like his.

Your kids are gonna wreck some fools when they're older bro

@@nickp4207 have to agree. And 99.9% of the time guys in the gym hitting on female students are unwanted advances that at best are awkward for the female students, and at worst lead to toxic atmospheres and people having to find a new place to train. BJJ gyms are place to learn how to grapple. They aren't a speed dating session at a cocktail bar and some guys need to get that in to their heads. It's one of the reasons some gyms offer female only classes, so the female students don't have to deal with that BS. Maybe there are rare times when there is mutsl attraction and love blossoms, but in reality, like you say it almost always ends up negatively.

RG, my guy, you're 1-3 steps ahead of the rest of us

Forbidden love makes for a very exciting relationship..

See, now that's weird. I sorta get the no dating thing because 99% of the time dudes hitting on female gym mates is both creepy and unwanted and can lead to all sorts of problems. But a coach being lecherous is a whole other level. Sounds like a toxic gym.

Lol

A.k.a "side piece"

I did . . .

What kind of no gi sweep is this?

Micro adjustments

If it goes badly though it costs the coach money because the student(s) leave. If it just was between the 2 parties, sure, but it rarely is when BJJ is involved. I once saw 3 people leave a gym in the space of a month over a breakup. The coach/gym is already involved to an extent, whether we like it or not.

@@humann5682 yes, but unfortunately for him he can't force people not to date, he can just not let them in his gym. Which defeats the purpose of getting payment from them

I like your theory mate :D what is is. What isn't isnt

@@humann5682 What? It's called a membership contract. They can grow up and learn how to be adults, or they can get their credit score ruined.

IME it's more to stop bros thinking they can hit on anyone that come in to the gym who happens to be female. It shouldn't have to be this way, but sadly there are too many guys in BJJ who think they are entitled to approach female gym mates and 99% of the time those are very much unwanted advances in my experience. So, some coaches just make these rules up to stop it happening. It shouldn't have to happen, and maybe there are better ways to deal with it but I can at least understand it. It also allows coaches to kick out guys for breaking the gym rules etc if they are being lecherous.

@@humann5682 But then you punish the ones that are having this kind of behavior. At minimun they're disturbing other students and at maximum they're committing harassment. These are the things you should fight agains and punish harshly.

Why are you here then?

@@letsgobrandon5334 I like to listen to Chewie ramble and i am interested in bjj, just dont have options to train it right now. I dont think it is a prerequisite to do bjj in order to enjoy a channel like this.

@@letsgobrandon5334 How you like all this winning Trump has been doing this week? he's now a half a billion dollars in debt. Make sure to buy your golden trump shoes!

I’m with you. That is seriously overstepping the boundaries of a relationship between a business and an adult customer.

@o markosmithiskingofthejews Thats true, but not the primary topic on that discussion. But even there, love should be withoud borders.

@o markosmithiskingofthejews Let me think about it..

Yeah Im not gonna lie, when I heard that I was kinda like what the fuck. I'm a grown ass man, nobody is going to tell me who I am and am not allowed to date. They can give advice or recommendations, but it's my life, not theirs.

The trouble starts when senior instructors start leveraging their status to turn gyms into their own personal Playboy Clubs. It happens. Check out Louis Martin’s book, The True Believers. He writes about a senior instructor, whom he calls the Bad Actor, who behaved in just this way. He was a married man with kids who regularly hit on his female students. Several women quit because he wouldn’t leave them alone. Others claimed he harassed or even assaulted them. Though not enough evidence emerged to file criminal charges against the guy, he created a toxic vibe that really hurt the school.

You must be young. I used to think that a bar or club was a great place to meet women. Met plenty. All I met were drunks and drunk psychos. An environment that is meant to improve your health is much better. You just have to be really careful and respect the other students and humans in class. Don't be a creep, obviously. What you say about feelings and attraction happening is right. It's bound to happen. If you're feeling someone, maybe ask your teacher what he thinks. Maybe he thinks that she sees what you see. Maybe not. Maybe you just got bounced on your head. ;) It's always good for a sensei to see themself as more than just a guide in martial arts training. It's supposed to be for life, too. It's not a bad way to test how good they are. I'm not saying that a sensei's job is to play match-maker or anything. But letting you know you're fuckin' up is well within his purview. I had one that told me that this co-student "couldn't stop talking about me". A really nice, sweet girl. I joined this dojo to meet this other punk-rock looking girl, specifically. Also because I saw how they threw a hook kick different than I was doing it. As a counter, and I learned to make it work for me. Her and I dated for a while and she was a psycho, even for Southside of Chicago. He knew what was up and tried to not have me fuck it all up. I was too young to listen.

@@juicicles5881 Dude, having your "Sensei" guide you in all aspects of your life, and "approving" your romantic relationships is messed up for a whole pile of reasons I don't even want to go in to. It's also creepy AF your "Sensei" was trying to land dates for you.

@@humann5682 I didn't say that is a sensei's job. Just that if you're feeling someone, he might see that they are feeling you. Or not see it. You might think you see something that you aren't really seeing when you have a crush on someone. There's nothing wrong with asking him outside of class. You definitely don't want to be the creep in a martial arts class. Mine was telling me that I had a non-psychotic option. I didn't listen and ended up with the psycho.

@Esoteric Schizochad You're not wrong about that. there are plenty of those out there. "call me sensei" is maybe a bad sign, you got that one. In this case, it is me doing it because i respect and like him. Like I said, i saw a couple of his students landing cool combos in kumite in a full-contact tournament that i wanted to learn. they did muay thai, tang soo do and kyokushin there. i was a wrestling, shotokan and jkd guy and i wanted better offense. If not for that, i wouldn't have gone two hours on the train to the Southside of Chi from the north burbs. i went every saturday and other wednesday for six months. Added a few things to my game that helped me go 8-1 in karate and 6-0 in TKD ones. 3-0 in mma in a underground cage thing. Won the tournament and $2,000. Ever see Shameless? The psycho i mentioned is from the setting. Back of the Yards

@@juicicles5881 the bar and club thing was just an example (insert any other valid place instead, like a coffe shop, the library, a concert and so on), the whole point remains being valid.

I think it is. I tell all my young students who ask about this kind of stuff to take it slow. Get to know the person a bit before you ramp up the relationship.

You’re welcome.

Lmaooo

You're not supposed to wear your gi out to the club, bro.

@@Jamoni1 shoot! thanks bro

@@Jamoni1 street ready bro

There is nothing more delusional than guys thinking a black belt will impress most women. I realized this too ha ha! Most women, heck, most people, will not be impressed you do martial arts. They won't think of you as "protectors". At best they'll be ambivalent but mildy supportive. Many people will think of you like Dwight from the Office or Ross from Friends: grown man-babies pretending to be tough. A few people might even think you have issues e.g. Are violent or pretty insecure. Romantically speaking, None of that is really attractive. Do marital arts because you enjoy them, because they are not going to be the reason most people date you. They might occasionally be the reason people break up with you though ha ha!

🤣🤣🤣

Right and the females are just "seeing someone", or theyre "just freinds."

Yes, exactly. And even indoors, there are boundaries. Can't flirt? What constitutes flirting, then? Is it particular words stringed together in a sentence? Is it a particular type of eye contact? Physical touch? Body language? A near infinite permutation of non-verbal bio-social displays of a human organism, in the process of social interaction? Treat adults as responsible people who can make their own lives. If people are causing drama, the gym owner can also kick them out, as is his business. He can also have a "no dating" rule, but I would stay as far away from a place like that as possible. Let the free market decide who makes the most money and runs the most successful gym.

Hello! I'm a year late watching this video. How did it go with you since your date?

@@Mondamu she ended up being a huge cocaine addict lmao. It was awkward at work for quite a while but now we're cool with eachother.

@@chouytheboy99 ohh! It may not be the romance you were hoping for, but I'm glad to hear things work out for you both work wise 😊.

😂 well played

🤣🤣🤣

I agree. I believe a coach/owner with these policies think about only his business. He is afraid to loose some students in the case a couple break. I can get it, but you can't interfere in adults' choices and private life.

@@robb00 Easy, instead of losing one student, he will lose two. Just quit or don't sign up in the first place. Go train elsewhere, anywhere, that respects your individualtiy and autonomy as an adult.

Congrats for training so long.

Jaysus...Chad The Beast Hardy...take it eazy! #NoLiabilities

taking

It depends what the reason is, is the student an asshole? What are they doing, do they try to injure people? Bad training partner? Etc. I feel like it’s hard to get kicked out of the gym but not impossible so many variables come into play.

@@gsuavebjj3856 the specific issue that happened was we had a guy who wrestled his whole life start jiu jitsu. He went hard as fuck every day and even told the coach he wouldn’t take it easy because he wanted to take the wrestling mentality into jiu jitsu (he’s about 230-240 lbs and ~10-12% body fat). My coach ended up just throwing him the best guys one after another and instead of getting the point, he just would go harder. He ended up doing a blast double on me when I had a cross collar grip on him, I loop choked him unconscious but he spiked me on the ground super hard and gave me a concussion. He also injured one guy’s neck, and two knees while going super hard. Sparing with him was a street fight intensity with no striking. He would also do takedowns into other training groups and never apologize or anything. He did that for about three months until my coach asked him to leave. I guess the conversation didn’t go over well either, there was one guy who was friends with the wrestler dude and he said the wrestler dude was super pissed and told my coach off after the conversation. I guess my question is with someone that has issues like this, ego problems and aggression issues, what do you do? I’d assume it’s something like “hey I don’t think this gym is a good fit for what you’re looking for” and then offering a refund of the last month’s fee or something. But I’d imagine that it’d be really easy to offend someone and make the situation worse.

@@MegaSirpaul Not a safe training partner. It's in the best interests of the business (your gym) to terminate his privileges of being a customer of the business. Businesses have the right to refuse service, especially for being an unsafe asshole.

@@Sunyayana yea, I agree. My question is how you start that talk and get the point across.

@@MegaSirpaul Direct, honest and truthful seems to have a good track record...

There's a Romeo and Juliet forbidden love Jiu-Jitsu tragedy waiting to be written

Why?

You're going to end up wrecking every gym you join lol

@@rickskellig4652 So pessimistic… I have no intention of changing gyms. I like it here and already feel like a part of the team. Besides, I know now it’s not the grappling in and of itself that’s sexually charged, I just happen to really like this guy. And I know it’s mutual seeing as we’ve been together just over 2 months now and we’re still going strong. I did talk to some female members and a different instructor first to get a feel for this particular gym and their rules. They said it’d be fine as long as we’re adults about it and keep our relationship separate. He has excused himself from having any opinion on potential belt promotions to avoid any possibility of favoritism since there are other instructors who can make those decisions. Perhaps I’ll leave an update in a year or so, but at present, I’m really happy with how everything naturally played out. He’s so good to me and I’m falling harder with every passing day. 🥰

@@kitajoi8901 I'm glad it's working out for both of you and your gym is good with it, that's a happy update on the situation 🥳😅 I hope you have many happy years rolling together ahead of you

That's really sad, especially if the new bf subs the ex bf constantly. Girl decided to go for the alpha male. Seen that happen before.

I dont know if this is true or not but apparently at a bjj gym someones wife cheated on someone from the same gym where her husband trains and apparently her husband asked to guy to roll and strangled him to death.

darn I thought my fellow male teammate and I had a thing :(

I don't think a trainer should train their partner because they would not get the same level as everyone else. As their trainer, it is too easy to be easy or way too hard on them. Most of the time they can get better training with someone that is not with them. Even if the trainer is the best in the world.

Women's feelings are validated policy? What does that mean?

@@ether6136 meaning if any women in the club or outside complained to him about you for whatever reason even after years you will get punished by him

I, personally, dont want to teach rapists to grapple

@@flowerswerewarpaint646 I do agree, hence I would listen to both sides of the story and not jump to accusations right of the bat and kick people out of the gym just because of an incident happened between adults years ago. individuals can go to the police/court and not undermine people's relationships.

This whole “women’s feelings are validated” thing is everywhere.

😆😆😆

This would be the best solution in the case the things between you went bad.

Just Adam

That’s what I suspect as well. The owner / coach got tired of seeing younger guys getting together with his female students and is trying to put a stop to it.

Negative...When it's kids or adults someone will end up leaving the gym when they break up and that cost the coach money

@@IkLms11 exactly...we lost a 14yr old girl this week due to not wanting to be around the guy that broke up with her...