Love this, i'm always so scared to say that to people when they ask! And then I go away and think it! It's so true, we need to just care about what WE want and not society! x

So much yes. I'm so tired of people telling me that I'll change my mind when I'm older. I'm nearly 26 and I've been saying that i don't want children for the last 10 years. I don't feel maternal, I don't have a need to carry on my family name or genetics. I enjoy my lifestyle as it is, I can't holiday 5 times a year and enjoy my private life with children. I don't feel guilty either, cause I believe it's quite selfish. We are over populating our planet, the human race will carry on regardless!

greatscot AMEN!

AGREED!

I also never had kids & never regretted the decision. I never wanted to be that tied down. I do have 3 wonderful step grandkids. I love those kids with all my heart. I get to have all of the fun with the kids & very little responsibility. Thanks

@WakinTheDeadFan I hope you're not generalizing since not all people have a desire to have sex.

Yaba Daba do 👍🏼

Totally agree.

It’s the greatest to those want/ have them and loving it but! not for everyone definitely.

Agree to the tee!

@Mycroft Holmes That's debatable. Lolz.

And they take up too much of your time, ruin your body, your mind and your ability to take care of yourself.

WakinTheDeadFan there is a type of baby that keeps crying if u don’t make is comfy u can literally pass on the floor from stress

You was the same...so.Yes,is really hard but not imposible.

And they ruin your body, your mind and your ability to take care of yourself.

So true 😂👍!

Same

And draining.

Bravo

👏🏻

Birkinbag09 Good for you. 👍

Birkinbag09 they call you selfish? I think your decision is great, you acknowledge that you are not mentally a mother-type. It’s much better to be honest with yourself and live in your truth than to have a child and regret the child’s existence.

Ignore people who call you selfish. Those people are really just envious and jealous that your childfree life is more awesome than their lives with children. Many people who are married and have kids are depressed and miserable and are so jealous of people who don't want children..

Birkinbag09 I relate to everything you mentioned, especially the panic attacks, but also anxiety. It’s as if you posted my thoughts verbatim. I’m 39, married and still don’t want children. My husband doesn’t want kids either, and we’ve been together for almost 16 years.

Mycroft Holmes...You aren't the only one. I'm scared of the idea of being pregnant. I think it somewhat has to do with the fact that once a woman becomes pregnant and gives birth her body changes and doesn't go back to her "old body"..The idea of me being a mother makes me sick and terrified. I'm more of an "aunt" type of woman but never a "mother type". I would rather live my life helping poor people and kids who need help than being a mother and a wife.

I feel the same way. All the things that are going on in the world. We do not know how climate change and the other pollution is going to affect this world.

completely agree

I agree with you 100 percent

Emily Maddison so awesome. Never thought of this

My parents have talked about having these thoughts when they first married. At that time they really thought the world was going to end. But guess what, we are all still here! Having children is one of the most beautiful parts of life. They bring so much joy and happiness to us. The world has always been a hard place. We can choose to make it more beautiful and raise our children to do the same.

there are sterilization options if someone doesn't want to take the pill.

@Cunt with Wings - Bjarnþór Then you're just irresponsible.

@Bjarnþór No one is saying you can't have a large family, as long as you can support them have at it. "there more people who don't want children then there ar actually children being born... something isn't right here in the west" No one is obligated to have any children, and there's nothing to say that this isn't a fair decision as well so don't act so self righteous.

Hi there Marla, i am a young guy and i too dont want children. people dont seem to understand that i dont like them, personally i would rather be financially stable and happy, i think having kids could be the worst thing that could happen to me. i tend to think that its my choice and i feel very very strong about it to the point of looking to get sterilized. being 25 this is a procedure that seems impossible to get done as doctors do not like carrying it out on younger guys. like i say i have known for years and years that i never wanted children and i think its something thats becoming normal. i look at relatives with lots of kids and they are really boring, no hobbies, everything they do is for the kids, less money and it makes me wince thinking about having children and having to go through that... your sons are not alone :)

Anne-Lene Andresen it’s ok it’s not the end of the world you can always adopt a kid or pet but your life your happy that’s fine i don’t want kids to

Thank you so much for sharing this, I think so many women will relate to this and I feel like it's a point we get to in our thirties when we realise that the decision is ours and once we've made up our mind it feels so much better. I'm sure so many people will be helped by reading this! x

Joey Porter ME TOO!! Do not want children and I'm 36... I HATE being constantly asked when and why I don't want them!! It's so rude

Joey Porter a

Joey Porter I agree!

Yasmin Webb Joey Porter YES!! Thank you for saying that, both of you!! I honestly find it rude when ppl ask me if I'm ever going to have kids (esp when they find out I'm 31, like they're pitying my waiting...??!!), and why I don't want them. What a private question to ask even an acquaintance, and I find it very rude!! Society has built up such expectations for women based on it's ideals of gender roles & stereotypes, which have been out of touch with reality for 3 decades now!! I want to look at them and say, "what is this, the 1950s??" Women are no longer expected to stay home as housewife, rear children, maintain house while breadwinning hubby is at work, then have an extravagant dinner waiting on the table when he gets home. I'm so glad we've moved away from that restriction with time, now society needs to catch up!! Forgive my mini-rant, but it's almost laughable to me when ppl approach discussing life choices like having (or not) children through such an outdated lens. Again, great video and it's very encouraging to see so many other women also not wanting children, whatever their reasons might be!! Hugs and love to you ladies!! ☺️ 💖💓Jen

OMG this is an amazing story! Congratulations!!! This is such a great story and I'm sure so many people will relate, all the best with your pregnancy!! x

Jade Newton, this was posted a year ago... how have you adapted as a mother? I am 30, I always thought my "biological clock" would start ticking at some point. It hasn't. My husband wants children. I am terrified, to say the least.

Cool- we'll definitely get along . 35 and have none. I decided on that back when I was in the AF.

@@ycl2911 it may be that you truly don't want to be pregnant. if so, discuss adoption. if you realize you don't want kids, make sure your husband won't pressure you into doing something to your body only to please him, because that would be abusive. sending love.

EvilShake101....You're an ignorant loser. It sounds like you are envious or jealous that more women and men are choosing not to have kids while you probably have kids and live a boring and miserable life.

@EvilShake101...Hahahah, I'm not a feminist. If I was ugly I would never have men from all ages and from different cultures asking me out. I come from a wealthy educated family. We aren't low lives like you.. Thank you for showing me what a true loser is and what a sad unhappy miserable man you are. Happy people don't attack other people like you do you sad person. May karma bite you in the ass!..Amen!

EvilShake101 omg! So short sighted. Omg and you are going to have Kids, such a shame. Idiot!

@EvilShake101 she is not selfish. Just because she hypothetically doesn't want to raise children that don't even exist. Shut up you're a f****** idiot

Yasmin Webb I had my first at 37 :)

Yasmin Webb men have a worse clock than women lol

Are you still childfree.? I'm 37 and my clock it's about to stop., but I feel 90% sure that I want a childfree marriage but still feeling the pressure and afraid of regretting it

wow im the same! in swedish aswell - talar du svenska mån tro? :) im soon 30 and i dont have any serious health problems but i never had a long relationship, ive met narcissist and "badboys" leaving me heartbroken many times, and when i try to date a more nice guy i just dont feel anything.. now i just graduated and applying for jobs.. came out of a terrible narcissistic relationship a few months ago im recovering from. i dont even find any guy interesting at this point.. and other friends my age are having kids getting married etc.. while my life isnt starting really.. I feel like i havent travelled enough, worked/earned money anough, or had the romantic relationship enough.. even if i find the man of my dreams now it would take years till id be ready.. in best case 35 but health issues might creep in at that point. kids are such a big responsibility, im scared of being pregnant.. feeling the baby grow in me seems ailien... and newborns are usually so ugly.. i have a nephew of 3 years old i play with sometimes.. its fun for a few minutes the im getting bored.. he is only interested in car-toys.. thats all. and even if he was a girl instead i dont know what id feel. im feeling uncomfortable anyway.. And all those neves it will take to be okey with if the marriage wont hold.. its nervwracking! I dont want to split the household and divorce.. its devastating.. for the kid to grow up withouth both parents.. as if it was a mistake to give birth to that kid. I just feel like i need to take care of myself first and it might take forever.. its a sorrow too, because when i get into menopause i might regret never having kids, but at the same time.. nobody knows if the kid would be healthy.. perhaps id die in som accident or being invalid or not function.. having desease or some psychotic diagnos.. cancer.. who knows.. all the nerves it would take to be ready for that.. and upbring the kid into a decent human being.. i just dont want to spill my time on it.. but at the same time im very lonely.. havin a child would give life more meaning.. but i dont know..

I just read this while going through the comments and wondered, how did your eye operation go? Hope you're doing well!

Love this comment, my friend is exactly the same, she is loving having one and now everyone is asking her about the next! Enjoy every moment :) x

Amy Willis I have a 3 month old and as soon as I have birth people asked me when I was going to have another!! I love being a mum so much but like you said I just want to enjoy every second with my little girl at the moment I can't even think of having another. People say you can't just have one it's not fair! It's totally the individuals choice there are so many factors when thinking about having a baby let alone having a second!! Great series Becky love your honesty

That's just bull*****. I'm an only child and sure - there where times when I wanted a sibling. But I always had a lot of friends and my parents always made sure that I could be around other children as much as possible. And I had an amazing childhood and I don't miss having a sibling. Being an only child also had a lot of advantages. I had a lot of opportunities my parents could only give me because they only had one child (I traveled for 6month after graduating from high school for example..if I had siblings I don't think my parents could have afforded to pay for that). So for everyone saying it's unfair or whatever.. I loved every minute of my childhood and I am an only child. Also I'm not spoiled / ungrateful and yes - guess what - I can share (just to name some of the prejudices -.-).

I had people trying to plan my second baby while I was still pregnant with my first. My husband and I are a one and done family. Pregnancy was very hard on my body and would very likely be even worse / dangerous for me. Financially we are more comfortable with one child, emotionally we are both in agreement that our son is enough!

Me too 🤣🤣🤣 Questions like:Why you don't want another child?Bla bla bla

It's so great to hear people acknowledging tokophobia. It needs to be more openly discussed. For me, there are numerous reasons why I don't want children anyway, but beyond that, I wouldn't even feel mentally or physically capable of going through pregnancy and childbirth. The thought of both disgusts and terrifies me in equal measure.

This is such an amazing story and you are so brave to write about this. It's so true, it's not always roses and amazing and I think it can be so hard to cope with. I've been reading about postpartum psychosis since you posted and it sounds so so difficult, you are so amazing for getting through that, I really hope this might help others too reading it! I really hope you get some time for yourself too, a little bit of you time! It sounds like you really deserve it! x

TalkBeckyTalk thank you so much for taking the time to reply! Mostly you hear about postpartum depression but you hear so little about postpartum psychosis so I feel like it's my duty to open up this subject.. Yes is was (and still is) a hard time and definatly I am still working on healing..

Also get the comment "you don't want to wait too long!" I hate that comment. You do you Becky! Don't let anyone push you to do something you aren't ready for!

ASHLEY CASHNER I'm turning 30 in December and my husband and I have one child (a 2 1/2 year old son). We love our son and were ready to have him when we did. We get asked all the time when we're going to give him a sibling. We will eventually, but for right now we love our life as it is. Having another baby right now would really stress our finances so we are waiting a little longer until we'd be able to more comfortably afford another child. I'm like you and don't ask people when they are having children because you never know what internal battles they are fighting or what they are dealing with privately. People need to mind their own business.

This is such an amazing story and thank you for sharing. I think this is such an inspiring post, I think so many women must go through that and it must be so hard to know you can't have children, so sharing this will help so many others. Are you close to your friends children? I really admire some couples that know it isn't right and decide not to, I love the idea of children but it really has to be the right time! x

That is the key...it has to be the right time. You are totally on the right track.

Papercranesrock Such a eloquent and lovely post.❤

This is such a great comment, it's so important to look at finances too, I think people forget that don't they and the idea of having more sounds great but it's so important to think about how you will cope financially and also if you're on your own. Hope you have a lot of lovely people around you to help! x

So glad you enjoy the cuppa part, I love chatting and really enjoy being able to sit down and talk openly! x

Really hope you enjoy it! Can't believe I'm almost 30! Making me think about what's to come in the next chapter of my life! x

TalkBeckyTalk I loved the video ❤️ It really feels like I'm chatting to a friend over tea 🙌🏻 I'm of course only 14 so I've got a while until I have to think about any of this but ever since I was little I've wanted a family & I've looked forward to one day being a mother. I don't know what my future will hold health wise (when I was little I thought I'd never ever struggle with mental health & here I am as a teenager battling mental health problems everyday 😩🤔) but I really hope that one day I can have a family of my own ☺️ I really admire you for being so open about so many taboo topics because it's so inspiring and your videos always make me smile ❤️ Lots of love x

thank you so much Natalie! x

Thank you so much for sharing this, that must have been so hard and still now at times. I think so many people will relate to this and I hope you have an amazing boyfriend that gives you a lot of love to make up for it!!!! x

So sad! And to think of all those children murdered every year through abortion. Such selfish women. Best of luck to you.

Thanks so much for sharing this Lucy, I always think this is so true because when I get asked I always think well what if we CAN'T have children. It must be so hard when people ask and then there feels like even more pressure! I really hope you have the most amazing wedding and wishing you all the luck too with trying for a baby! x

TalkBeckyTalk definitely, I don't think people should bring it up unless you mention it, all we say is that we're not even thinking about having kids until after the wedding which seems to hold them off a bit although that excuse is coming to an end now and Thank you :) hope you're enjoying wedding planning xx

This is so true, and I think as we grow older people are even more judgemental! Ah thank you, let me know what other topics you'd like me to talk about! x

Did you change your mind?

Thank you Julia, i'm really glad you enjoy them, let me know any topics you'd like me to talk about! x

Thank you so much for sharing this story, I'm so excited to be coming off the pill I am so sick of it! I think that's so true, you have to be mentally ready, and then the rest comes in time! x

Thanks Kyra! Leave me any video requests for this series or tea diaries! x

Thank you so much! Let me know any other topics you would like me to talk about! x

Thank you for sharing, this is so important. Sleep for me is so important right now, when I don't get enough it really affects my health so I definitely think I need to wait a little while!! x

TalkBeckyTalk From personal experience- and confirmed by a doctor - it is much better if you are rather in ok health than be poorly or recovering. I mean it's not the end of the world if you end up being pregnant, but pregnancy per se is hard work, so it can get even harder (you're not making it up, that's what I'm saying). Focus on your health and do so without feeling guilty, in fact it's the sensible thing to do. Once you feel better you might see thing differently, or not, whatever, but you'll be deciding from a completely different point of view.

Thank you for sharing your story, I think this is true for so many people, did you feel a lot of pressure especially around 35? I think it comes from other people, and it just has to feel right to you. Dogs give you so much love so that's amazing you have one! I'm really hoping I feel differently in a few years, but for now, it's just me Dave and the dogs too! x

TalkBeckyTalk there was a lot of pressure about a lot of things around 30 actually. I was questioning everything. My life, my job, my relationship. I felt pressured that if I wanted to change anything I had to do it now. Turning 30 was kind of complicated :) looking back it wasn't but it was a difficult time though. It's actually is easier now. It must be difficult for you at the moment... ahhhhhh 😗 But definitely if you don't want to have kids right now you should wait. And you never know. Your feelings about having kids can change any day. I've seen it a lot. 😀just enjoy everything else and your future wedding and then things will work out for you. Much love Becki. You're such a sweetheart.

This is such an amazing comment and thank you so much for all the support! I am actually really loving learning about my cycle on the thermometer, I said to my mum that if I was trying for a baby it would also probably really help as it tells you when you are most fertile!!!! All the best of luck for trying for a baby and thank you again for all the love! x

Thank you so much for sharing this Lulu, i'm exactly the same I feel like I have so much I want to do in my life before I have children and I feel a lot of guilt for that when people ask me but deep down I know it's the right thing to do! I'm really wishing you all the best of luck too when it comes to trying for a baby, sounds like you will be an amazing mum! x

TalkBeckyTalk Thank you for your lovely words! I can't wait for the rest of the TMItalk series. X

They are available in England - I have had one for over a year and have been very happy with it too.

Ashley Brewster my friend has this and loves it

I've had one for almost 6 years, and I love it!! No hormomes!

TalkBeckyTalk School and examsssss 🙈

Fair play to you, me and my wife get it all the time about having kids my wife is 33 and she's the same as you.

I think it’s very brave of you to talk about this subject! I don’t want kids either, so I found this very interesting. Thank you 🙏🏻

kzfaq.info/get/bejne/eZ11YNZml7etYp8.html That really helped me to come to terms with myself :)

I love this story, I always imagined myself as an older mum and it's amazing that the pressure comes from so many other people and not yourself. I think that care is getting so much better too so women can have children much later and I really hope there isn't as much pressure to have them younger!! x

I totally agree. My mum and dad used IVF to have my twin and I, and it's thanks to improvements in fertility treatment that they were able to have us. It's up to you to try and not give into the pressure, and know that there'll be tonnes of support when you do decide the time is right. xx

It's from Primark! x