true. Honestly I didn't care at first about being alone but then when my friends from home or family constantly mention it I cant help but compare myself to others and feel inadequate. I literally have no one to talk to at uni, no friends no one. And the more and more it goes on the more depressed im becoming

😢

@@veIvette So how are you now?

:-( That's so upsetting, I know exact how you feel! Totally, the reaction to this video suggests that it's not nearly as uncommon as you feel it is when you're experiencing it. I hope you're feeling brighter now, lots of love and thank you for watching xxxxx

Literally me, I struggle so much with uni and I'm only halfway through my second year. I can't wait to graduate if I an last til them haha

@@Antoniakirann I relate so muchhh

@@BottledBlueOnKZfaq Hey, you're absolutely right, I have not expected to get so many likes on this comment! And thank you, I am in a much better place right now❤️ (I have totally forgotten about this Google account, hence why I haven't replied earlier). I have changed subject since then and moved out of my parent's house, so I could be nearer to uni ( I had to travel 1,5 hours to get to my classes). From then on it was much easier to make new friends, so if you struggle with this right now, It has most likely nothing to do with you but with so many other little factors, so please people, dont take anything personally! Everyone deserves to have a good time, so keep trying, be patient and things eventually will work out🥰, I promise. ( Sending much love from Germany 😘)

I feel like it’s just college but expensive.

😣 yeah i concur

Ahh that's such a shame :-( But yes, luck does play a massive part! Which is why I think it's weird that there's an idea that it's going to be the best time ever for EVERYONE, because everyone's so different and everyone's experience is gonna be so different... Anyway, thanks so much for watching and hope you're doing well now! xxxx

@@BottledBlueOnKZfaq thank you xxx

Same :(

This is exactly what I’m going through right now

I totally agree with you, I even felt like maybe I was the weird one so I started being started being depressed thinking I was the problem and that I wasn't gonna make it in life since I can't do the same

HOLD UP - I literally was saying the same thing.. before I started I had people saying it’s “the best years of your life” and you “Make lifelong friends there” which hasn’t been the case for me - it’s the first time EVER in my life I feel like I don’t fit in and hate education.

@@h.a.w.k7169 It's so true. But I've always been pessimistic about everything. So eventhough I was mainly hopeful and thought I would at least make one friend at uni. Another part of me thought it wouldn't be possible. And what hurts the most is that pessimistic mind of mine was right.

@@firstlast9846🥺 i can relate with my own

@raisa_cherry33 - hope you’re doing better - I’ve finished Uni now.. but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t decimate my confidence ngl 🤷🏾‍♂️

It is totally real! Ahh that's such a shame that your roommate is dropping out, hope you find someone else you click with and wish you all the best with the rest of your studies lovely

I can't imagine how tough uni is in a global pandemic!! It's tough at the best of times... I'm really sorry you're finding it hard, there's always always a way out of these things. I hope you feel better soon. xxx

I know it may be so annoying/easy for me to say now, but even if you don't like it and you feel you can't drop out, I promise it won't last forever! It may not be helpful to hear, but I just know that whilst you're not enjoying it, it feels like uni is your whole world and it will go on forever, but it's important to remind yourself that it's temporary :-) It's all temporary. Lots of love xxxxx

I know, yeah, it'll all come to an end and I think even faster than I think, thank so much for your kind words c:

❤️❤️❤️

@Justice i never liked my college because of their "sweet promises" and all of them turns out to be anything but true

You’re not alone. Never had a problem conversing with anyone. Ended up switching between two colleges and still ended up being friends with everyone in the classes. But University everyone feels like they’re on a different wavelength or frequency.. and it’s the first time I feel like the odd person out. You’re not alone - the whole thing has been shitty.

No way! That's so funny that you're at UoN ❤️ I completely agree - I feel like two weeks of Fresher's is not long enough to become really close friends with complete strangers? Maybe it's an introvert thing but I feel like that's an unrealistic expectation, y'know. I hope you can swap courses to something that suits you better and wish you all the best for the rest of uni! Nottingham has some great secondhand shops :-) Thanks so much for your kind words as well - I really appreciate it Ciara! xxxx

thats me now, pls tell me it gets better 🥺

@@flossywaters literally same

@@flossywaters omg saying this 2 years on from my comment, TRUST me it gets better. SO much better, I'm in 3rd year now still at Notts and honestly I never want to leave. I just needed to give it a little time and I think most uni students would agree when I say it takes at LEAST maybe 2 months/3 months to feel settled, and some people even longer to be fully settled, and for some people it may be that it's just not for them! But that doesn't mean you won't ever settle even if you feel like dropping out now (which I definitely did multiple times, and now I'm so glad I didn't- if you give it more time and still feel like it's not for you then omg there are soo many other things you can do!). Trying to rush all the friendships and all the good things all at once I think was my problem, in hindsight I should have just relaxed and embraced the new experience (easier said than done lol). Your flatmates you've been placed with now don't have to be your friends for life, but some of them could be, mine stuck around and I live with them now and am looking at 4th year houses with them, even though at the start I thought we were too different! We now have a laugh about what a state we all were in first year and how shy a lot of us were! I didn't properly make my course friends until 2nd year when I had the guts to just message a girl from my tutor group who I thought was nice and ask if she wanted to sit together in one of our lectures! I feel for you, especially in Corona times it must be so hard to fully enjoy uni and having to stay in your flat most of the time, but I guess maybe that means you can spend more time getting to know your flatmates if you're stuck with them, or going for nice walks and getting to know your city 🤷 it doesn't have to be perfect and you don't have to love everyone you live with (trust me some of my other first year flatmates were deffo not the one and we don't speak anymore), and everyone experiences it differently, and it's not easy for anyone! If you really want to stick at your degree then I say keep going and it will get better, but if it doesn't seem to look up after a few months and it impacts your mental health badly then there's no shame in dropping out and it may lead on to something better! ❤️ Sorry that was so long omg

@@ciaragrant8555 great story!

I'm sorry you felt similarly in first year! Glad to hear you feel better now, I wish you the best with all your studies. Lots of love xxxx

seeing someone comment 1 day ago also made me feel less alone! :) im a v friendly person but I cant make friends that stick it seems. I'm coping by seeing my family regularly and being comfortable in my own company and making my uni room as cosy as I can. hope this helped a bit :))

I literally have no one. Its week 6 and I'm losing hope.

Thank you so much for your kind words lovely :-) I totally agree that this topic needs to be talked about more and addressed... The amount of people I've had messaging me saying they had similar experiences is so upsetting :-( Anyway, I'm really glad you're doing better now you're in third year and I wish you all the best with your studies :-) Thanks so much again!! xxxx

That really sucks about your break up :-( I’m so sorry. I hope you’re feeling better now some time has passed - even if it feels like the unhappiness seems like it’ll last forever, it never does ❤️ It is so hard to slowly admit to yourself that maybe the story others painted of uni don’t quite fit with your personality. But not everyone likes everything and I’m sure in time you’ll find that *thing* that ignites your soul and makes you really truly authentically happy :-) xxxxxx

​@@BottledBlueOnKZfaq Thanks so much- I am doing better, reconnecting with old friends in my hometown and patching up my sense of self. Hopefully going to tackle my third year with a different perspective on the whole thing, in part thanks to your video! xxx

Ahh I'm so sorry :-( I wish you all the best for the rest of your time at uni - honestly I know it feels like everything rests on uni life at the moment, but as soon as you're out of it you realise that putting so much pressure on yourself to do well and to make friends was not worth the mental strain. Of course it's always nice to do well academically, but it's not the end of the world if you don't. It's truly not. I hope the rest of your time at uni goes okay and if you need someone to talk to at any stage I'm always here and willing to listen! Lots of love xxxx

Thanks a lot! xxx

Thank you so much for watching Jess! I really appreciate it, I'm glad you could relate to some of the things I mentioned (although it's also upsetting that you felt the same). I wish you all the best with final year and then you can go out into the world and smash life :-) xxxx

Thanks so so much for your kind words Nadia! I'm sorry you struggled a bit with making friends/socialising too, it can be tough especially when balancing the mental health side of things. Lots of love :-) xxx

Thank you so much Esther! Yeah I get you. Even if it's not the best time of your life, it's not forever (altho it may feel like it at times!). I wish you all the best for the rest of your time as a student and am sending lots of love xxxx

Thank so much for watching lovely and for you kind words, I'm sorry you could relate in terms of grad school! It seems these feelings are far more common than I thought at the time :-( xxxx

I'm having a severe depression that I'm started to think about death all the time...

@@morningstar6691 Youre not alone I was the same last year. And I think I'm starting to feel the same way again. :( It's scary isn't it. But I feel like I can't and couldn't tell anyone. I hate uni so much.

@@veIvette scary to think that these memories will haunt us for the rest of our life...

@@morningstar6691 I don't think they will. Well I hope they won't. Its just 3 years. We have our whole lives to make better memories to make up for these bad ones. I just hope that things get better after uni. But I'm scared it won't.

You're definitely not the only one! It can be really distressing and it's just not for everyone. But honestly once you graduate all that studies/exam stress & social anxiety eases a lot! You just need to take what you've learned about yourself from uni in terms of how you work best and put that into a role that really works for you and your brain :) Thanks for your sweet comment, I hope you find something great once you graduate! xxx

Thanks Thomas :)

Thank you so much for watching! Totally - it’s important to talk about all aspects, the good + bad 🙂 xxxx

Sorry for random late response - but so glad the 'luck' part struck a chord with you! It was so unexpected for me, you never hear about it in movies or shows. The only show I saw it on was on Normal People where Connell wasn't managing to fit in or make any connections at uni :-( I'm the same - I'm still thankful for the time even if it wasn't the best :) We can still be grateful for opportunities even if we didn't exactly enjoy them. I hope you're feeling better now and doing well! xxxx

thank you so much for such a lovely comment ❤️ I hope you find what’s right for you! xxxx

Taking a break/dropping out is TOTALLY okay!! More than okay, it's so good for you to take your time and make sure you can do the best you can do without overloading with pressure and stress because that can be so damaging. I'm so glad you love learning and have made the system work in a way that suits you :-) All the best for the future!! xxxx

Hi Amelia! Thank you so much for watching and for your kind words. I wish you all the best with your time at uni, like I said just because I didn't have the best time doesn't mean you won't. Loneliness suuuucckks so if you ever need anyone to talk to then I'm always here :-) Lots of love! xxxx

I know this is 5 years late - but I had the same shit going on - anxiety flared up like I’ve never seen before because of my disappointment with my uni experience - did you find a way to get over it?

Totally - giving a balanced account is only fair to people who may potentially be considering university so they can assess whether it's for them :-) It's really okay to not enjoy it and it's taken a while for me to accept, but got there in the end! Thank you so much for the comment Katelyn xxx

Thank you so much for sharing your experience! That's such a shame that you didn't feel connected to anyone, it's such a horrible feeling. But amazing that you took the initiative to switch your course and change your living arrangements! I really hope it works out better for you, sometimes it takes a bit of tweaking to find what works best for you. That's so bad they don't offer counselling :-( To be fair to my uni, they did offer counselling which I took, I actually completely forgot to mention that in this video but their counselling service was a help!! It's the kind of help you have to seek out yourself, but still great that it's there. All the best for your next chapter too!! Lots of love and thank you so much for your kind words :-) xxxxxx

Thank you so much for watching and sharing! I appreciate it greatly xxxxx

I was the same! I only saw one uni before I applied and it was the one I went to (I didn't make that much of an informed decision to be honest). I'm so glad that you're back in a school that you like now :-) All the best for the future lovely xxxx

Sue Davis Thank you so much lovely! Yes totally, it seems you learn a lot about yourself + what works for you by making ‘wrong’ decisions 🙂🙂 Thanks again xxx

Thank you so much Abby, I appreciate your kind words so much :-) And you should be proud too! Realising it wasn't for you early on was probably a wise move and must've taken strength to try something else instead. Lots of love xxxxxx

So glad I'm not alone! I left in the first year too. People seemed really shocked and were very unsupportive about how down I felt, so it really helps to hear that other people left that early too xx

Amelie Astor I didn’t know anyone else who left that early either, so thanks for sharing too. It seems uni isn’t all it’s cracked up to be for some of us. We made the right choices for us and that’s all that matters x

I feel exactly the same. Anxiety and depression really make uni so unbarable. I hope things are better for you now though. ♡

Thanks so much for your sweet comment! I'm glad it helped - still figuring it out now 2 years later haha but we'll get there in the end! :) xxx

Hahaha awww thanks for the invite, I would LOVE to visit America one day! So lovely to hear about your son, I completely underestimated how important even the simplest of social interactions are to us human! We do sometimes need other people even if we are shy or introverted. I wish him all the best with his senior year project!! Thanks again for watching lovely and thank you for your kind words :-) xxx

Ahh that's so bad they forgot! :-( I hope you feel brighter now, you should feel so proud that you finished despite your struggles! ❤️❤️❤️

:-( ❤️ Try to remind yourself that even though it may suck, it's not forever. I know that's sooo unhelpful to hear, sorry. But honestly, one day you'll look back on it and it'll be a distant memory xxxxxx

It does help ahhah thanks xxxx

I wish you all the best at uni! :-) Everyone's different and everyone's experiences are different, so I hope yours is a great one! xxxxx

totally just luck 99% of the time! sending you lots of love - after this last year you’re free!!! ❤️🫶🏻

I hope things are better for you now ♡

Awww me too!! I would have loved that :-) Where did you go to uni? I'm so sorry you felt lonely as well, I hope you feel brighter now. I've definitely learned how easy it is to put a front on when you're not having a good time (especially online on social media!). In regards to filming, I had to come home every month whilst I was on Roaccutane because you need to have regular blood tests to check your health because it's pretty strong (as well as pregnancy tests lol), so yeah I came home once a month for the first half of first year which was nice! But for the rest of the time I just filmed at home when I was there on holidays. I filmed once or twice in second year in my uni room but I felt soooOooo awkward as my housemates didn't know about my KZfaq - I literally piled my coats in front of the door to make sure the sound didn't travel into other peoples rooms in my student house hahaha. :-) xxxx

I am better now! 💕I still have social anxiety (which I've had for as long as I can remember) but it's not something that gets in the way of my life any more or upsets me often, so I'd say I have it pretty good in the grand scheme of things! I think the university environment can be quite damaging for social anxiety, when you're constantly surrounded by the same community of people, who know exactly who you are, and who I felt was always watching me, so that the thought of being seen going to a lecture or having lunch alone would send me into abject panic. I was on hormonal birth control too (which I'm no longer on) which could have contributed!

I went to uni at Oxford, which is such an amazing university and despite my anxiety issues those were the best years of my life - more ups than downs on the whole! My tutors too were extremely supportive. They were much much better than yours who would ignore your emails when you were dropping out - that was actually so rude and unprofessional! :(

Where are you from? :-) I feel like I've heard about student depression and other mental health issues, but not loneliness before. That's amazing that different cities are trying to make the environment better for students! xxxx

Definitely not only you! I'm glad you could relate but I hope you feel better soon xxx

ruthieieie Hello! Ahh yes, I feel like when you’re there it feels like your whole world and then you finish and realise... life can begin lol 🙂 Thanks so much for watching lovely! xxxx

I feel the same way. But also so conflicted. I want someone to be friends with someone to talk to. Then at the same time I always feel left out and behind so maybe I'm just better off being alone.

Same here! :( Especially with everything that's going on in the world right now, it's like a bit of a disconnect to what I thought university would be.

I also live off campus and I am completely alone. I barely have one acquaintance I barely talk to on social media and that’s it. The rest are terrible relationships with people I don’t want. Like a girl who wants to use me as a study sheet and never actually wants to hang out. Or this person that leaves me on seen but asks to hang out when they’re lonely. Or this guy who’s a massive misogynist and watches nonstop Loli anime, and he is terrible at talking. This is just my luck I guess, I really feel so incredibly awful and lonely and depressed. If I can’t make friends, how am I supposed to date or do anything? I already had a nervous breakdown earlier this year which is why I chose a local uni instead of one with a better reputation.

@@lauraramier5366 I feel exactly the same way. Its comforting to know im not the only one. But damn your "friends" sound like such assholes. Sorry you have to deal with such self absorbed people especially that lolicon guy 🤢. I live off campus as well and I don't have even one acquaintance anymore. I used to have one girl who was my acquaintance. But now I can't find her in my lectures because there's too many people. And this sounds ridiculous but I've kind of forgotten what she looks like. Like seriously brain. At this point I deserve to be friendless. I do follow her on Instagram but I feel too awakard to dm her because we were never friends to begin with. So idk and last time we talked was months ago so I don't want to seem like I'm just using her because I'm lonely. Ughhhhh. I'm just going to accept that this second year will be shit and third year will be the same.

:( never feel like you have to do something! there's always another way or a way out... even if your parents push you to go to college, there are alternative ways to make it feel more enjoyable. Maybe part time studies alongside working or an apprenticeship that gets you a degree? I hope you feel better soon! xxx

Julia Nell Ahhh it took me so long to pluck up the courage to post this, but there should be no shame in not having a great time! Huge congrats on making it this far in your studies, I wish you all the best for the future ♥️🙂⭐️

I can't imagine how tough it must be at the moment! I think if I had my time at uni again I maybe would have dropped out in first year & tried part time uni alongside working - or an apprenticeship. Not sure what apprenticeships are out there at the moment but I know people doing them & you can get paid for studying and gain qualifications! I suppose it depends what you want to go on to do. But nothing is worth feeling that miserable and lonely :( I hope you find a solution that works soon! xxx

How are u now

@@veIvette I was wrong about the people not being nice. majority of them seem cool now. That was all in my head. but I was right about the teachers not really caring about students. if you mess up, get lost or anything, they just don’t care. but then again we are adults now so 🤷‍♂️ Talking about friends. no one really bothers with other people in uni. Everyone minds their own business and people usually tend to chill with ppl they started uni with (high school mates or whatever). I’m blessed that I made this one friend. we were sat on the same table, he had come from Pakistan so he didn’t have any friends either. So I now just chill with him in uni. 🤷‍♂️ so yeah that’s my story so far lol

I'm so sorry you were having a bit of a tough time! Hope you're feeling better & keeping safe at the mo xxxx

Damn at least you found one friend. I would like to find someone too. But everyone at my uni seems so superficial. Conversations go nowhere. And I'm not really someone who can go out every night so I think I'm not going to find anyone.

@@veIvette Being an autistic introvert in an environement full of normies is hell, but at least I can focus on getting grades.

@Hxris7 thats relieving. thank u! just been doing some research about different unis and have more of an idea about it all now :)

Uni of Nottingham only offers catered halls on campus (unless it's changed now!) but most other unis offer an option :-) I hope uni is better for you! It's so important to do lots of research (I wish I had done more before deciding). Good luck with everything & I hope college gets better soon!! xxx

@@BottledBlueOnKZfaq thanks so much, i hope so too :)

She wasn't the best... very clever but pastoral, not so much :(

@@BottledBlueOnKZfaq Hi I am taking Pharmacy at Cardiff University and I made a mistake not to check the area out before coming due to covid-19 I applied through clearing and I am from London I could have gotten into Kings college and stayed at home but I refused to and I now kind of regret it. when I started for the first 4 weeks I completely regretted it but now I am slowly finding the balance but I can and still relate to this video completely.

@@BottledBlueOnKZfaq I am in between an introvert and extrovert and where I live seng hall in Cardiff most people in my accommodation are NOT nice and that can fee isolating. I joined societies and found people on my course but still they are not the full vibe of my friends back home like when making friends that vibe they gotta tick boxes u know