Next to Moomin Mama, Chilli is best mom 👩

I love how no one ever comments about the sponsor in videos 😅

I think that’s why this video ended up so long haha, I really wanted to express a ton about her character and I felt like there just so much to say since I don’t get to actively express my feelings about her since majority of the discussions I see are for bandit instead haha

Chilli is amazing. My wife takes a lot of inspiration from her. There's no doubt she deserves every scrap of praise she gets. I think Bandit gets more attention because at least American dads have a huge issue with being basically everything he isn't. U.S. dads often get so alienated from their families and especially their kids by no fault of anybody in the family. Ah the larger issues of how unbalanced our lives are...

@@Pugly it’s almost sad. People don’t expect men to be good dads but they expect women to be good moms. But you know what, times are changing and things are looking up :)

@@ArcanGaming7189 "by no fault of anyone in the family" it's his OWN fault. Men don't raise their own kids, and then expect just as good of a connection with them as the mother who spends 24/7 with them.

@@jadecoolness101 There is an odd pressure on men to avoid showing emotion, and to only provide for the family monetarily. This is not to defend men who genuenly abandon their children just because they don't care. But it's been constantly showed down their face that they are meant to present themselves as emotionless machines. Sometimes it's not because they chose to, but because they are so used to not being able to be emotionally present they don't know how. I come from a more "traditional" part of the world which is not as progressive, especially with gender role stereotypes forced upon people around me and even on me. I've seen male stereotypes pushed on my brother since young age. "Don't cry", "Why do you like this?? It's not manly", "Stop acting like a -" You get the idea. Bad parents raise bad parents. And some of these bad parents don't even realize they're being bad parents. I wouldn't say it's only their OWN fault. The only thing I'd really blame them for is perhaps parenting unprepared. But even then, no ammount of training can prepare you for the 18 years (minimum) of the real deal.

I completely agree. I believe you hafta earn the title of mom.

The thing with those statements is. Abusive individuals already don't like to acknowledge they are abusive. And even if they do they seem to internalize this image of abusers as being one dimensional Disney villains that just enjoy being mean, cruel, selfish, etc. Irredeemable. Evil. Nobody likes them. Entirely unsympathetic. No real motivation or true concern for anyone else but themselves. Etc etc. No redemption. No room to grow. No sympathy. And no forgiveness. (Hence, as a neurodivergent queer scapegoat from a very dysfunctional mostly Latine family, why I think it's important to recognize Encanto does have a villain, and she is an abusive mother/grandmother that specifically treats her neurodivergent/disabled lineage as a big burden and blemish on the family best to avoid, keep out of sight, and hope to prevent others like them in the future. And the ending indicates a honeymoon phase unless there's prolonged efforts to alter how she thinks, talks and behaves. Her trauma isn't an excuse. It merely gives context and makes it more human and realistic. And you can try to reason any connect with a villain/abuser, even ambiguously redeem them. Darth Vader did it. He's still a villain, even if you understand why and can sympathize with him and even if he eventually changes course. Star wars still has a damn villain sorry that common take really annoys me) They say they can't be abusive if they aren't the worst parent ever. If they don't do these cartoonishly evil things. If they have "good intentions but simply made mistakes" (which i thought was bad when it was used in relation to my broken collar bone, but i later on saw it used for both CSA and filicide). And if they aren't really abusive then there's no real need to change anything fundamental or the way they even think about family dynamics let alone hierarchy. Just tweak the details so maybe it doesn't end up going "so far" next time. But you cannot truly acknowledge the scope of damage to the victim or to center their needs without it being "demonizing the parent" and "taking away their rights" or "telling them how they have to parent". Without it being some vague outsiders using "out of touch definitions to police families using a moral panic". Or at least trying to turn children against their families, culture, religion, etc. And it strengthens the culture of those who blatantly promote child abuse, neglect, and otherwise complain about acting having to do with modern safety and developmental improvements because "i turned out just fine without all that coddling". And it absolutely encourages people to refuse to ever see anything in themselves, their families/parents, or their culture that could at all be considered abusive or harmful. So it doesn't matter what lines they cross. There's always a reason why it's different vs all those other legitimately bad people who end up in the news (or who actually deserve to be,from the perspective of those who do get into the news). And in the end the rhetoric only ends up putting more children at risk of more abuse mostly for culture wars and untreated generational trauma purposes Then abuse victims are pushed to avoid using the term, to acknowledge the trauma they have, and consequently are shamed for avoiding their "difficult parents that care so much and tried their best even if they aren't always perfect". Because absolutely nobody wants to acknowledge what abuse really is, how common it is, and how close it really is to a lot of popular parenting norms. (like anything from authoritarian, helicoptering, or even passive parenting can easily slide into territories of abuse, neglect, or behaviors that otherwise sabotage children attempting to launch into adulthood/gain healthy independence especially if you aren't very mindful of what lines exist and for what developmental stages) Because the stigma is so strong that most parents get right on the defensive and offensive and even lash out at their kids in private the second you start to talk about the issue of child abuse in a serious and informative way that tries to prevent further harm. every single parent that sees aspects of their behaviors in that of what is abusive or otherwise harmful. Because how DARE anyone judge their parenting when they're just trying their best and mean super well etc "unlike all these modern day ultra woke parents that refuse to teach kids how to behave and have proper respect for authority and old school discipline who ironically go around judging everyone whose parenting style isn't just like theirs" etc etc. And whole cultures of estranged parents whining about how they're being treated like complete monsters when they just tried their best and maybe even sacrificed and did too much to try to be the make perfect parent ever only for it to never be good enough. It's often easy to see heavy layers of narcissism and hints of dysfunctional family dynamics (eg a "best friends" dynamic. "they saved my life after i lost my partner and then suddenly declared it was toxic and cut me off out of nowhere, probably because of their new partner being jealous of our close relationship and telling them it's more unhealthy than it really is just to hurt me". Or even references to being an ultra involved helicopter/mower parent that feels betrayed when the "ungrateful adult child refuses to acknowledge all I've done making their life so easy only to blame me for their failures in adulthood and cut off contact for no real reason other than their Inability to take responsibility". All strong indications of truly unhealthy or even abusive dynamics. And also intense ignorance as to how unhealthy, dysfunctional, or abusive those dynamics are especially for the long term development of their children. Cause like it or not. Most abusive parents are overwhelmed. Are struggling. Don't have good examples to look back on. And don't see themselves as abusive and never will. Especially as they mostly all do try their best. (yes even alcoholics and those with other mental illnesses have their own struggles that make their best frequently not be good enough, especially without a solid enough auxiliary support network)

I tell myself often that my mother isn’t a bad person but she is a bad mom. To me she’s a sad & hurt woman who is generally speaking a good person, but she is a bad wife & mother & as her child I secretly do not claim her. I can’t because it will only hurt me & really wouldn’t do much good for her either as it’s a job that is too much for her to handle. To me she’s kinda like an elderly neighbor who i occasionally help because she needs it. There is love from me for her, but it’s a distant love that lacks sentiment

My therapist and I were talking about this regarding my mom (who I still have a good relationship with) and how the idea of being a 'good' parent is so unclear. We talk a lot more about what's effective/functional. What lessons do you teach your kids? What is your goal for your children, and are you achieving that? Abuse is a category of verbs, and that has a broad definition based mostly on actions that people take. It's totally possible for a dysfunctional parent to hear what they're doing and improve. I think people should be defined by their verbs, not an adjective as subjective as good or bad. My mom wasn't always good at her job, but she was always willing to listen to other people about what would make her better at it. Sometimes, she just made mistakes about whose advice she took. I think if your parents are unhealthy for you, its okay to cut them out of your life. I think that it's easier for us to avoid our parents' mistakes if we identify their harmful actions rather than assign unclear terms of subjective morality to who they are as people.

@@violetparadiso yeah I think you explained it better than I could.

Infertility is actually a bug problem for Australian cattle dogs in general

She also lost her mother which I feel is another reason she had those feelings during Baby Race. She didn't have her mother to help her. She had her Mother in Law but she was Old School and wasn't what she was looking for.

I was a preschool teacher for 5+ years (certified and worked with infants-school aged children) and that’s exactly what I’d call it Kids will be kids, they are discovering the world around them! Don’t discourage them ♡

I've seen so many parents say they wish they could like the show but it shows "bad and annoying behavior" or they complain about their kids doing similarly annoying, disrespectful, or repetitive behaviors and they just don't don't want that example. And it's like... Sorry it's so annoying but all of that developmentally appropriate and vital for healthy childhood development. You can't just suppress away the things you don't like and expect it to work out. Diapers don't encourage babies to shit their pants. They make the inevitably easier to handle. And can still provide a useful tool as you're teaching kids to overcome the need for them (and are even used by some disabled, injured, or elderly adults too). You can't just train a child to not poop. That's just the kind of things you have to handle as a parent.

Yeah, kids are mainly only annoying because they have more energy than any adult can dream of

⁠@@foxyfox9196Oh no bad parents don’t like a show about how a mom is better than them

As scary as it is, it's impressive they were able to do that. Hell, they even knew to use a ladder, most kids would probably use chairs as they're the easier option.

Your kid is still cooking, and every kid is a little it different. They reach certain mile stones at different times, but just because some reach that finish line a little later doesn't mean they're not still in the race! Just cheer them on and encourage them along the way and don't lose heart or feel like a bad parent. 😅❤🎉

aww omg i never noticed that until right now

That caught my eye on the second watch through. Bella needs an episode like Wendy got and like Jack’s dad got

hug

Honestly, sometimes we focus so much on managing all the complexities and details of our lives, we forget that it's okay to slow down and recognize that we are enough. Disordered circumstances such as CPTSD make it especially easy to overlook your own value in the presence of both external and internal stressors. That's why it's so important to recognize when it's okay to take a step outside of your own headspace and breathe. There is no such thing as a perfect parent, but there is such thing as a good one. So, keep going! You're doing great ❤

The fact that you think these things already makes you a better parent than your parents.

@@johnl6176 yes!, because one dirty mug is not the same as being beat for forgetting the laundry, or being left to walk a full 5 miles home as an 11 y/o girl because I disagreed with my father over religion. (: My children have known only love and joy since the day they were born. Honestly they're abit spoiled lol but that's exactly what I wanted for them ❤️

@@lexyshannon9428 thank you (: this actually helped a ton 😅

Hey you are not a bad person for going through what you had to go through none of that is ever your fault! You are already alot better than your past and everyone makes mistakes if anyone ever says anything don't listen to them they are not worth your time. I bet you are a wonderful mother and a wonderful person don't let anyone tell you different! Have a great night :)

Couldn’t agree more, I made a video for the dad for that exact reason haha: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/ip6GjauCzrOwqqs.html

they don't like REAL parents.......there too good to be true.

​@@NAZRULISLAM-kz6yc For me they don't even exist.

Well, that just make that line from grandad episode sadder... "i still need him..."

And don’t forget when chilli said “Remember, I'll always be here for you, even if you can't see me, because I love you” probably her mom said the same 🥹

While I don’t want biological children, Chili is the kind of foster mother I wanna be. I wanna foster a child and give them a moment of stability and a home full of love ❤️

Oooh I really really love this, I completely agree that this was not a coincidence. I never really thought to look at how it relates to the characters in the show tho I probably should have lol. Thanks for sharing this, this was a really awesome analysis

@@Pugly thanks ^^ your videos always seem to inspire me to do these

Also to add to what you were saying about Bluey in the Movies episode I wanted to bring up season one’s The Creek. Where Bingo and Mackenzie had no problem with wanting to have Bandit take them to play in the creek but Bluey kept freaking out about how different it was from the playground. And also in the season two episode Double Babysitter where Bluey is unsure of being put to bed by a babysitter because her Nana was watching something scary on TV while watching her once. There’s multiple episodes where Bluey is scared or nervous about something. The adults are usually there to guide the children and it’s refreshing to see that in children’s media when it’s mostly “just figure it out yourself”. Though calling Bluey children’s media seems insulting but it technically is. It’s just good children’s media that resonates with all.

@@princesspikachu3915 I also think that reflects in her being occasionally somewhat bossy during games. I think that is not so much about her wanting to control people, but rather a need to feel in control and keep things within her comfort zone. Something that can also be seen in "Postman", where when the parents squabble, she takes matters in her own hands to make sure everything is the right way, her parents loving each other and not being "enemies" how she puts it.

Extremely clever thinking buddy, I never thought about it that way

Just walk lol. What were you, a baby or something?

@@bestaround3323 lol, right?

You think Chili is a bad mom based on the way you're describing her?

@@cutepuddleslime8201 no

Yes! There’s no weird, misplaced boobs on animals that shouldn’t have them! I wish other animal-based cartoons would do this, I’m sick of seeing even non-mammal female characters having boobs!

I would love to know her reaction if she ever does watch it buddy, It sounds like you’re very close to your mother if you feel emotional through her experiences and I love hearing that. Wishing you and your mom the best 😊💙

@@Pugly I am very lucky to be able to say we are very close. I'll try to remember to tell you her reaction xd. Wish you the best too

​@@Emma3kDid you have her watch it?

@@WinterPains @Pugly omg thanks for replying and reminding me of this. I did, she loved it and told me it almost perfectly represented what happened when I was a baby. She has decided to watch bluey with me now lol

OMG!! That’s absolutely fantastic buddy!! That’s the best thing to hear right now for me, I’m so happy for you that you can explore the show with someone you love and that they really resonated with the episode 😊

Remember, there's no rush in becoming a parent. Though I'm sure you'll be a fantastic one. I thought I was 110% ready to be a Mom. But it's a really humbling experience pretty quick. It's worth it, I wouldn't trade my daughter for anything. And I think that's because I allowed myself to grow, as an adult. You don't have to touch and go. Your children are forever, there's no rush because love never runs out. 💟

I'm childfree too I get how you feel

Well said. I'll settle for being the cool aunt that pops up time to time for my friends' kids.

I think that's a healthy choice. If you don't 500% believe you'd be a good parent, then don't be one. I hope you heal. Though I hope you are still kind to any child you come across. There's a difference between not wanting kids of your own (which is valid!) and hating kids just for being kids (which unfortunately is becoming more and more pervasive). Please be the kind person you'd have wanted as a kid if you're ever around any. :)

@@arithefierysecretary6411 Thanks, I like to think that I've healed significantly since reflecting on my abuse. Tbh, I'm neutral towards kids cuz I understand they're mirrors of their environment as much I was of mine, but I think the real villains in this world aren't those who hate kids rather those who exploit them and treat them as subhuman. So while I tolerate kids, it doesn't mean I won't fight for their human rights and for them to be treated with respect and humanity.

@@isav7305 And that's good of you. I agree that it's worse to treat them as subhuman. But since I assumed you wouldn't do that (because who wants to assume that of another person, ya know?) I just wanted to give encouragement to treating kids with kindness. You don't have to go out and be Mother Goose or anything, just be nice to a kid if they approach you, that's all. :)

Can I just say that I love all the references you put into this comment, it was amazing read your love letter to this amazing character especially because of how you formatted it with the quotes 😊💙

happen's something similar with me, even she almost hitting me when she get's too mad, or when i get mad she doesn't care or when i say something that she dislikes like that i don't feel well or i want to be alone or that i am sick of bad jokes that hurt , she doesn't care.

Could you add video that focus on marriage. Example the episode “Postman”

Aww buddy, you’re the best, you have no idea how happy reading this made me 💙💙💙

Yesss!! Persona 4 is the goat

Thank you very very much buddy, I’m really happy to hear that cause it just made my day right here haha. I’m a sucker when people say I work hard since I spend a very long time on each video from script writing to editing so thank you very much 💙

Thank you buddy, I felt like it captured chilis motherly essence as well as personality as a whole 😁

Thank you!! I spend a very long time doing it so that makes me happy to hear😊

Happy Mother’s Day as well buddy, thank you very much for the glowing comment, I was thinking about you when I put in the persona music, I low key was like, “I know someone is gonna recognize this 👀” haha. I’m really happy to hear your mother was able to recovery from her hardships and had a positive new outlook it seems 💙😁

@@Pugly that means the world to me man when the music came i hummed along unconsciously then after a bit i realised (oh biscuits this is familiar ) it contributed a good bit in amplifying the emotional impact of this vid which is fitting for persona and thanks again for being an amazing content creator and have a good day