Why Long Relationships Aren't More Successful Than Short Relationships

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Why Long Relationships Aren't More Successful Than Short Relationships

Рет қаралды 2,984

Күн бұрын

Do you judge yourself for only having short relationships? Are you staying in a relationship because you don't want it to be viewed as a failure? This video will help you to follow your intuition about how long to stay in relationships.
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Long relationships aren't more successful than short relationships. The duration of a relationship has nothing to with its success. Success is determined by whether you reach a goal. Duration is not a goal in and of itself. What is your goal for a relationship? How do you want to feel? How do you want to grow, evolve, or mature? Then assess your relationships based on this.

Пікірлер: 53

@Eric-rs1zu Жыл бұрын

I can totally relate to this. We forfeit our higher values for safety and convenience. Same with being at a job you dislike.

@holyvoltage2762 9 ай бұрын

Hey Noah, I just want to say that you’re a real one and that I am extremely grateful for the impact you’ve had on me and everyone else you’ve helped, I recently moved past a huge block and I know your work and wisdom has been of extraordinary value in me getting to this point I dont know if you’ll read this but I felt like thanking you and telling you that you’re really making a change at least for me ❤

@NoahElkrief 9 ай бұрын

Congrats on making it past your huge block! I'm happy to know that I've been a support for you!

@EliseSecond Жыл бұрын

"The goal of relationships is some sort of experience." Exactly!

@lavenderway Жыл бұрын

Completely agreed! My parents are still staying in a long but unhappy and codependent marriage for more then 40 years. Only now I see all dysfunctions of such relationships. Unfortunately, I had to go through some bad relationships and it took a long time to gather knowledge. But I am so happy that I am who I am now and want to be in a happy, healthy and fulfilling relationship! Thanks to all of my life teachers and people like Noah, who share their knowledge and life experiences and help others! ❤💕

@population-_-420 Жыл бұрын

U sing le ? 💞 Ready to mingle with me ? 🥺

@MrVotavista1 Жыл бұрын

You’re missed bro Greetings from Saudi Arabia

@darkmana1000 Жыл бұрын

Hey Noah, what were the main things you didn't like about your old videos after a few years? Think you said you contemplated taking them down for a while and that you had thoughts like 'I'm so naive, how could I make videos like that'. I'm really glad you kept them up because they're so helpful.

@i..am.. Жыл бұрын

I should have thought about this years ago. He has never liked anything about me, my hobbies, my interests, my morality... I moved to Florida for him so it was hard to toss when I realized he isn't who he said he was... Time passes so fast. Going on 9 years, waiting for the market to dip and get my own place....

@NoahElkrief Жыл бұрын

I hear you

@i..am.. Жыл бұрын

@@NoahElkrief thank you 💗

@rayali9854 11 ай бұрын

Great vid noah

@Eric-rs1zu Жыл бұрын

Till death so us part lol. I like how Louis ck sums it up. He says that marriage is the incubation period for true happiness and divorce is the goal. 😂

@vigintiundecim5301 7 ай бұрын

I really hope you are doing well 🙏🏻 You have been so much help throughout the years, especially in regards to self love and (sleep) anxiety. Thank you Noah! 🙏🏻

@l3a3n31 Жыл бұрын

Im glad you are still making videos, thank you very much Noah

@NoahElkrief Жыл бұрын

You're very welcome :)

@berritandersen288 Жыл бұрын

It is a great comfort to hear this.

@fofofadden7989 8 ай бұрын

Thanks for keeping it real Noah ❤

@mediamatrix2689 10 ай бұрын

I could not agree more, and as a woman in my mid-30s people look at my like I have three heads when I express this. There's value in every relationship and it's time within our lives. I don't appreciate the heirarchal nature of our society to deem certain types of relationships as aspirational or more valid. Some of them are actually gravely emotionally sick and devoid of any level of interpersonal awareness from both parties.

@Msusiengineer 2 ай бұрын

Thank you

@user-ds7md7ii1c 6 ай бұрын

Noah, can you start releasing more videos and more shorts? You would be so successful with shorts as more people would have access to your great vids

@scottybthebrand Жыл бұрын

16 years of being miserable, because of many of those reasons and just waking up from that the last month or so. Thanks for all your help over time Noah. Trouble is now - what happens after? We part ways, and then...nothing. Does it matter?

@NoahElkrief Жыл бұрын

You're welcome Scotty.

@mckenziecatface Жыл бұрын

Video topic request: I feel that after being abused by men I’ve grown hateful towards them. I am working to see people individually instead of generalizing. I know many people hate women, men, young people, old people, liberal, conservative etc. I was wondering if you could discuss how we can view people with love when we have resentment in our bodies? It’s been holding me back in relationships and making me fearful of every man I meet. Thanks for your videos, they are always helpful for me.

@population-_-420 Жыл бұрын

At this point I'll take any tbh cause seems like they are all taken or reject me its getting harder & harder out here man 😭

@coomartist Жыл бұрын

Thank you for these relationship videos, I appreciated the one where you talked about being a kind perpetrator. Do you think you could cover the topic of being on the other end, talking about what to do when your partner did something that hurt you? My girlfriend is a sweetheart and I know she never wants to come from a place of intentionally hurting me, but sometimes it can be messy expressing when she's done something unintentionally to hurt me. For awhile I thought that my triggers were my own responsibility and all that so I'd just keep it to myself but recently I've been exploring just expressing it to her, not in a mean or blaming way, because I felt like I ended up reinforcing this dynamic that it wasn't safe or allowed to express pain that my partner had a role in triggering, and that made me feel closed off. I wanted to know your thoughts on this topic if you felt a pull to share. Thanks for your time and energy noah

@NoahElkrief Жыл бұрын

Hi, yes, I can make a video about this.

@Eric-rs1zu Жыл бұрын

What about being in a long relationship that's good, although you're bored and want something different?

@NoahElkrief Жыл бұрын

I would look into the internal cause of boredom. Wanting something different is different than wanting to get away from boredom. And wanting to get away from boredom also doesn't have to mean leaving a relationship.

@lunarae1946 5 ай бұрын

The problem is when kids are involved...yes its not good to stay for the kids (my parents did, terrible idea) but you should be searching for something longer term no? Like you cant just have a heap of 3 month, 12 month relationships when you've got a child. Thats gotta cause its own type of trauma. But staying is not good....so what should parent's do? Be single? nterested to see if anyone has some perspectives of this.

@jonathanjuseth 24 күн бұрын

You describe me

@anonymouskat6661 9 ай бұрын

Hi Noah, can you do a video about dissociation if you can? My parts have been struggling with this a lot recently and I’m struggling to connect with my adult self.

@coolbian513 Жыл бұрын

Hey Noah this is kind of like Arsenals title run last season, they were on top for so long only to come second. hahaha

@Eric-rs1zu Жыл бұрын

I think once a year, the mayor in each town should marry all of the dogs in the neighborhood and shall call it Toodle Day!

@MikhailStavin-on9iy Жыл бұрын

What do you think of The World Transformation Movement?

@mziwendukuntsele671 Жыл бұрын

Aren't those accessions supposed to be made before committing to a relationship? I'm old school & would have thought the ultimate goal was to make whatever you have together LAST! Preferably till death do y'all apart.

@NoahElkrief Жыл бұрын

When you use the words "supposed to" and "ultimate goal", you are creating a hierarchy of how relationships should be. It is an option to enter into a relationship with an agreement to stay together forever. But this option is not superior or inferior to any other option.

@pattycookie2011 8 ай бұрын

Oh the channels had been abandoned 😢 pity

@kinzalanabi8386 Жыл бұрын

i didn't feel like you were real here for some reason, it seemed like just talk regardless of whether what you said was true or not

@SC-oi9wp Жыл бұрын

The goal of a relationship is love. I’ve never heard that but I like it ❤ thanks

@NoahElkrief Жыл бұрын

:) You're welcome

@thomasche 8 ай бұрын

Without any disrespect, it's painfully obvious that relationships are about love.

@berritandersen288 Жыл бұрын

🙏

@northshorelight35 Жыл бұрын

I view long relationships outside of marriage as total failures. They're wasting each other's time for convenience. In addition, they become more jaded and unattractive in the eyes of others. I'm actually very unattracted to a man who was in a long-term bf/gf only relationship because it says to me that he is non-committal, doesn't know what he wants, yet is too weak to leave a miserable situation, and most likely has a lot of emotional baggage from that situation. He also has lowered his standards and values accept the abuse. And now he is going to project all that crap onto me. However, a man who was in a short-term relationship says to me that he knows what he wants and ended it as soon as he knew there wasn't a future. And at least he didn't drag it on for fear of being alone. Also, he's learned lessons and knows more about who he is and what he wants.

@NoahElkrief Жыл бұрын

I hear you. It could absolutely be this way.. and it's also possible that the opposite is true.

@EliseSecond Жыл бұрын

I completely disagree. I have no interest a marriage. Often people stay in a marriage because if the marriage. I want my relationship to be free in the sense that I want the other person to want to be with me, because he wants to. Not because we are married. I don't like to make my relationship a legal contract. There is no need for it really, since you can arrange things for each other in other ways.

@camez2345 Жыл бұрын

But putting people in those categories so automatically leaves a lot of room for error and possibly dismissing a great potential partner. Life is not so black and white.

@northshorelight35 Жыл бұрын

@@EliseSecond I'm not talking about marriage though. I'm talking about people who find themselves in a non-marital relationship for years on end. It really is about convenience and fear of being alone by that time, YET, too afraid to actually tie the knot. Playing house without obligations or real accountability. Men who do this are either: 1) users/players, 2) very weak. You only find two types of men in this relationship dynamic, the worst from the ends of the spectrum.

@northshorelight35 Жыл бұрын

@@camez2345 I haven't found a man from this relationship dynamic to have the skill sets for a healthy, committed relationship. This kind of situation usually involves two types of men: 1) the guy who is commitment-phobe but wants his cake and eat it, too. Basically strings along a woman with low values. 2) the weak guy who doesn't know how to pursue the woman he wants. He doesn't really know what he wants but is too afraid to leave a bad situation where the gf is the toxic one, because he's at least getting breadcrumbs like sex and part-time companionship.