Yes, even sometimes if it's their job!

My narc dumped me as soon as I got diagnosed with cancer and shacked up with my replacement within a few months post surgery.

@@iramsavir5631 Typical. Be glad they are no longer in your life!

​@@TheMazinozthats can be cause they are sadistic

I experienced a sick narc who came with a mixture of grandiose and victimhood. I did my best to take care of his needs and he would call his family and friends to say I don't care about his health and needs. Also, he'll have discarding moments where he tells me he doesn't need me then come around and want me to do stuff for him. So confusing

So true. You realize you’re just a domestic servant and completely on your own.

This describes 99% of relationship in the Far East. The parents teach narcissism to their children (their retirement plan). The children will screw over their spouse to support their parents who never unconditionally love them.

Sunnydaye, you are so wise.

I relate to you, because I feel lonely being in a narcissistic relationship myself. I even told my narcissistic mother that it may be better to alone, because already am alone in this world. She secretly gaslights me and told I will be lonely if I leave her. I still felt lonely being around her as she kept being rude and offensive, no matter what polite and gentle I tried to be with her.😓

Yup

that's not true. Narcissists hide when they're sick so no one see them vulnerable.

Exactly,I was brought up by a narcissist aunt who made out that the neighbours had it worse,I mean would you believe it😩

This is my opinion. You can have a cold, they’re dying on pneumonia, you hurt you leg, they’ve dislocated their hip. Jealous of the attention/sympathy the ill person gets, furious that they are not the focus. Of every second of every day…

This! The narcissist thinks sick people pretend for attention, just as they might do. Everything is a competition. And their perfect time to act out victimhood by declaring they will be dead sooner than you, if they are asked for any act of kindness. Maybe only one reason that a narc would ever go no contact on you, is if they are guilt tripping by playing sick or dead! when you are sick or they hear of others' deaths, they show very little emotion or none, or if so, i's playacting. or even anger that it inconvenienced them.

Yep.

🙂

With all due respect, may I ask why are you still looking up these kind of videos if you already happily remarried? I'm just asking because I'm curious, I'm married to a narcissist right now and I am planning for divorce .

@@chantalrodriguez5269 this is an odd question. So, if i'm happy i can't watch videos about narcissistic people ?!

@@chantalrodriguez5269 she wants to supportive and tell people her story! It’s a good thing❤

❤

We already feel like burdens

So true 😔

​@@Saltine_American I left so I don't I feel ike I'm taking care of me not a SCREAMING rager

Yes. They pretend to care and ask how can I help you. Never really help with anything 😂

I've lived with chronic illness since I was 9, and I grew up in a family full of narcs. As an adult, I am learning to care for myself in defiance of their cruelty. This statement of yours is too true. I woke up to it when I was trying to negotiate with a narcissistic institution head in school who took my request as a competition. While I was explaining my case, she began to explain that _she_ was dying. I asked her, what of? and she had no answer, but she was _sure_ it would happen any day now. All of that just so she could win the suffering contest. 🙄

A big hug to you, lovely human being! ❤🙏

Thank you.

Hew...I just dodged one a few days ago. Thank the LORD!!!

And to you 🙏♥️

Try having to call these F creatures mother and father ☠️☠️

😢

What a horrible man! Glad you escaped.

I'll so sorry he didn't help you.

I’m so sorry.

Absolutely unbelievable.

I am sorry. Mine is a scum bag narcissist psychopath!!!! I can relate. My son was birth injured by a hospital and mine was nothing but evil and cruel and left me with all responsibility and I was also dying from retained products

I also had a colon cancer scare right after I gave birth he decided to tell me if I had it don’t get chemo or radiation 😂

I believe you totally. And no matter how many years go by, the shock and bewilderment from those words, the utter pain you feel, is never forgotten.

I feel you sister… My ex literally broke up with me citing that he couldn’t handle my illness. While of course being a cheater & all round narc ticking all the boxes.

He did the beat for you. Ypur cancer its probably caused BY HIM and his toxicity.

2 Corinthians 1:3,4 Revelation 21:3 4 John 5:28 Isaiah 35:5,6 Psalm37:10,11 Psalm 37:29 🙏🏽🕊️❤️

@@noluthandonolwazilushozi94 💜 2 Corinthians 1:3,4 Psalm 37:10,11 Isaiah 35:5,6 John 5:28 Revelation 21:3,4

My God....

Absolutely.

Actually sometimes my disgusting narcissistic husband thinks it funny that he made me sick makes him feel powerful that kind of monsters these people are

Yes, I used to feel so much stressed sometimes even getting up from bed used to feel like a hurdle and when I used to feel sick he used to tell me how I am being a burden,how I am worrying my parents and him for no reason and that I should listen and follow all the things he said cause he is telling me for my own good.. My relationship wasn't long term it lasted for 1yr yet I can't get over all these till now

​@aliceroberts1980 DITTO! I was going to tell my account here but you beat me to it. Yup...there are those that inflict the illness then have NO EMPATHY, COMPASSION or HUMANITY towards us when we're disabled from their malevolence. Very dangerous people. The type to run away from. Stay no contact & gray rock til able to get away. It's 😈.

they dont seem to realize things will always be out of their control. and rather than accept that and work with it, they have some sort of narcissistic tantrum and what not.

Same 🫶🏽🔆 Keep good friends around and pray lots. Keep faith 😊

Shaming you for your health issues (which narcissist is partially responsible) saying, "if I had your problem,I would have done something by now" SINISTER

I’m so sorry.

This happened to me when I was diagnosed with CVID and required IVIG every 4 weeks for the remainder of my life. I recently had a massive surgery requiring someone to be present as I could not get myself up. My husband couldn’t be bothered to be here after less than two days. I had to endure pain beyond what I thought I could, and get myself up, and get my kids up and fed and to school.

I had the same thing happen to me. A woman i worked with said that she wished that she could stay home as much as i did. I told her that i wished that i still made the money that i used to and not have to stress any more and that ifmit were possible, id gladly trade places with her.

Thank God Angel ❤. You will be ok.

Yes they sick.

True fact

exactly

Oh man!! So true!!

Exactly 💯

They also sometimes end up pretending to be the sick person themselves. I think it's specifically called Munchausen syndrome...think about those awful people who know how people typically respond to sick people and then shave their head to scam their church and GoFundMe lying about having cancer themselves. That is definitely narcissistic behavior

Some narcissists play sick people in real life to get sympathy. And prey on those with energy and kindness to give. No?

​@@corykelley796Yes. They rather play people then do the work themselves. They seriously need attention. But are the last to help.

Yeah I notice this if their partner is sick all of a sudden they become more sick then their partner.

​@@KetoFattyI agree to a point.I go through the profile and see if there is a high volume of selfies.That usually tells you all you need to know.

People are insane!!!!

😔🙏💖

How awful😔

I’m so sorry. This is a perfect example of Narcissistic abuse.

Wow this is the sickest thing I have read in a while 😢😢😢

Amen!

They act like you should just snap out of it. They don't care how you feel or what's wrong. Total lack of interest

This is exactly what my ex did and it made me sick to my stomach… his family thought he was taking care of me, luckily they realized it was all a lie.. my mom thought he was, but when she came to visit, she saw the truth, begged me to come back home and she will take care of me, she flat out said my ex is a psychopath and now she knows why I am not getting better.

Absolutely agree! It’s even more sickening when it’s your own narcissists parents

Like if you're here because Narcissism Is A Differential Diagnosis

😢

I was at home in bed from foot pain. I needed to go to emergency. Instead of taking me, the x narc kicked me out. A couple years later, he landed up being homeless. His next lady kicked him out within a couple days.

Thank goodness you saw the light and got away 😢

I had a similar experience. I was very sick, running a fever, and I couldn't stand up, my head was spinning. I needed water. He came home from work and saw me in bed. I said, "Can you please bring me some water?" He said," Aren't you going to fix dinner?" I said I'm too sick. He left and got on the phone. He called his mother. On the way out the door, he said, "I'm going to my mom's for dinner. " I crawled on my hands and knees to get to the bathroom sink to get water. ~~~~~~~ As bad as that was, my childhood was worse. My narcissistic mother barely kept me alive when I was age 9. I had osteomyelitis and almost died. I couldn't bare weight on my leg, it was too painful. My mother insisted I was faking it and spanked me. I was neglected and told things like, "God was punishing me because I was evil." I am left-handed.

@@karlamccullough5319 I am so sorry you really barely survived as a child of an abusive, neglectful and narcissistic mother (me too) Both of your comments are so close to what happened to me. No one can really grasp these unbelievable antisocial ways unless they somehow survived it. I hope you got away and thrived ……xo

It will get worse. Leave while you still have strength.

Absolutely!

It does hurt because there lack of empathy won’t help you be close to them and bond and have attachments with you or anyone else they don’t do any of this it so heartbreaking the narcissist you care about won’t care about you the same way or at all.

It's a gut wrenching wake up call. That was the beginning of the end.

I’m going through this after a stroke with my narcissistic family. They didn’t even come to the hospital or call. I’m left to fend for myself through these trying times and recovery.

It's a terrible thing to say to us. We are used to being gaslit by narcissists, and a specialist saying, "But there MUST be somebody there for you!" is another way to gaslight us and make us feel terrible. Another level of that which I have experienced is me explaining that I also have to stay home and look after somebody ELSE. And yes, there's another adult who COULD do it - but he won't. The specialist simply can't comprehend that means I can't go into hospital.

@@janebrown7231 Absolutely I agree that's it's even more gaslighting. I wish they would train professionals in these issues, it would make so much difference.

@@yellowroses1 Yes, they really should receive training - and should think before they speak.

@@janebrown7231 💯

Yes! There IS someone! I do have someone I can depend on to harm the animals, sabotage any food I might need, tell people not to come help, watch coldly while I'm on the floor bleeding where my stitches are pulling apart. Absolutely, I've got someone to make sure that no matter how terrifying, scary and painful it already is, they will make me regret getting sick on purpose just to annoy them.

Oh my God 😢

O my God 😢

Get out of that relationship....not safe!

I am so sorry to hear. I have a a bit of similar experience before and after child birth, during the first year after birth or when I was sick or so. It continued later on, but with different forms. I waisted too many year of my life waiting for things to change. It never did, he was no willing to. Once I understood that, I left the relationship. How old is your daughter now? How are you doing? ❤ Send you good energy!

I hope you're out of that

Both legs??!!! Wow. i broke my ankle 18 months ago and I appreciate the challenge you are facing. I hope you have some help from somewhere.

@@emjaydark2811 thank you so much from the kind words. My husband and my in laws are my real familly and took great care of me, now it has been 6months already and i am pretty much normal besides the knee pain i get sometimes and how weak my leg muscles became (working on strengtening them!). Things really had been a challange, but it got better, at least it was good for one thing, i always thought my parents "loved me but in their own way" now i have learned that nascisist can only ever love themselfes, and it is unhealthy for us to expect something diferent. I really hope your ankle is better by now and can imagine how much of a challange it was as well, i remember how terrible it was to loose my ankle mobility and to deal with the pain and bloating that ocured. Wishing you all the best

Hopefully you will be able to enjoy remaining no contact when she becomes older and infirm. Narcs don't tend to accumulate loyal friends who will take care of them so she will no doubt be alone. They make their death bed so let them lie in it alone, bitter and seething with anger.

Wow. Thats cold. Sorry.

Sorry to Tell You this but You dont have a mother You have a "birth delivery person "and thats it. Sorry about it and I hope You feel truly loved and internalize it

You reminded me about my first baby. At one day old, and at home, both grandmothers arrived (uninvited) to visit, telling the world they were "coming to help". Both were narcissists, vying and competing with each other, and with my husband, also a narcissist. All of them refused to cook dinner and decided I should cook for them all, 24 hours after giving birth. I eventually divorced my husband and mother-in-law, but I looked after my mother until her death. She didn't deserve it - and nor did I deserve all the things she inflicted on me.

I had a daughter in law like this there now divorced. only time git sick she went to doctor but didn’t want to take the children. remember many times she and I banged heads over it. tells my 17 yr old grandson must go to school missed too may days “ only missed 1 Or 2 but yet takes him out of school to go on a trip to see wolfs for her birthday she has never matured in all the time I have know her all about her my grandson is always walking in deep depression at age of 6 his oldest brother died in accident and he was not allowed to grieve. i think mothers like this should be dealt with harshly.

My mom never came to help with any of my kids when they were newborn’s. She said it wasn’t her baby smh

Wow, what a story - it’s awful because you’re at your most vulnerable. Sorry. My ex’s whole family visited hospital when my daughter was born and thought it was funny when she cried at being over-handled. When I got home they’d all left the place a mess, dishes overflowing in the sink. I got called a princess for not wanting to cook a dinner party I had nothing to do with organizing the first night. I ended up cleaning, cooking and then staying up in my room with the baby. My husband called me rude and selfish.

This is very hurtful.

Bravo ! Bravo ! You took Courage Love yourself now . Give Yourself a Abundance of Love EVERY DAY 💜❤💜⚔👑👼

We could die and they would not lift a finger.

@@RaptureReadyforJesus-qv2ql No, they wouldn’t but, if you were related to them in any way, they would be trying to see what they could get from all your left belongings. Especially if you had anything of value.

@@NatalieG427 they want our stuff! The x narc, within a month of meeting, wanted me to sign over my vehicle. lol

I bet you are❤

I’ve never thought of my mother as a narcissist but this rings so true for me. I broke a finger in high school and she refused to take me to the doctor for four days. At age 5 she burned my finger with her cigarette and sent me to school that day with a bandaid on. I always just thought of her as being uncaring and not maternal.

@@andrewoatsI’m going to say it. Your “mother” was a dick. I’m so very sorry you had to deal with such neglect.

Maybe it just happened at a bad time? Maybe she was having a bad day or even a bad month, year, whatever. Your mother is human, she might have needed a mental break and didn't get the rest she needed. If she was busy working, etc, sometimes its hard to completely process what just happened. Sorry to hear about your situation though. Hopefully you don't hold on to these things too long and forgive people. No one is perfect and maybe look at the circumstances she was in and what she did right.

I came home one day with two ankles broken. My mom was disappointed because she would have to take care of me. I was a nuisance. I never felt so lonely and sad in my whole life. I know the feeling...

​​​​@@nikflix8331narcs don't have bad days, they just put themselves always first. I believe the persons with the broken wrist/finger because narc mothers see kids as nuisance. Mine is exactly the same. I will never forgive her.

It's sad but makes sense in evolutionary sense for men to look for healthy partners just like women like to have wealthy partners. I'm neither so yay go me. Hope you got better.

@@paulgoogol2652 yeah I did thanks. I do understand what you are saying in looking for a healthy partner. I don't understand why I got treated like that when I needed help the most, after he already made me his partner. I was stuck in the delusion he created for me for 14 years.

​@@paulgoogol2652 This claim is so stupid, maybe to low IQ men or women "it makes sense" since that would made sense if we acted as animals, but as conscious human beings we make conscious decisions it's not "evolutionary". Anyways, @mandypp5522 you are strong and I'm glad you are finally free. I like to think that at least one of the good things that come from having to deal with a narcissists is that some of us can now identify them and take our distance.

@@paulgoogol2652yes it makes sense inevolutionaryterms but humans being have a moral compass (and compassion and empathy) that differentiates us from mere animals. Absolutely no excuse for that kind of trash behavior.

Good woman...

Fenbendazole, pineapple and garlic in the diet are anticancer supplements. Hope you are well.

@@michaelhenderson6112 thank you for the kind suggestions. I’m OK at the moment.

Sadly, I know the feeling when someone looks at you in pure disgust and hate when you need care and love the most. He’s als an ex now. Which is quite a story, having to go through divorce when in such bad health. Good luck to you Rubysilver!

And I’m SURE that the line he used with the new girlfriend was, “I love my wife so much and it’s just tearing me up to see her suffer like this,” and she swooned at what a sensitive, caring person he was. 🙄

❤❤❤❤

How kind of you to be there for your Dad despite your mother's cold heart. I know your Dad was incredibly thankful.

You were fortunate to have had that time with your father before he passed.

How about if they're doctors?

That describes many doctors I have seen. Gaslighting and pills that do not help but cause more problems are all they offer.

​@@rosemaryclarke2348Get another doctor. Stat.

​@@rosemaryclarke2348 Find another doctor. I had to do that.

That is such excellent advice. In addition to that I have made up my mind that the second someone minimizes the illness of someone I love I am going to start limiting my time with them as much as I can too.

Smart kid! I hope you, your son and loved ones are well and away from that guy.

My daughter was in a very bad accident I basically had to drag him out of bed to race up the road to the accident site he acted fine while the EMS and cops were there, then he didn’t think she needed to go to the hospital,so we went home as soon as we got home he started getting sick 🙄🙄 threw up so he said, just to pull attention away from our child who was in pain and was mentally having a hard time dealing with what had just happened to her!!

Sinkhole springs to mind! LOL@@user-el4ls5cw3e

I can relate. Kids of a narc parent, and a ‘normal’ parent get tea sharp, beyond their years, from what they have had to survive. It’s chilling how young they get to be worldly wise.

🤗 🤗 hugs. I can relate unfortunately. I have congestive heart failure from meds I took for nerve pain from car accident. Not everyone believed me and I just kept getting worse and worse blood pressure. Very scary when you are falling apart mentally and physically too and pain out the roof. And they do nothing....I walked away from that. I won't go near anyone now who is ignorant anymore. Now everyone feels bad because my heart was causing all that pain and I kept going to the doctors wondering wtf was wrong. After 7 years they found it! Now I don't care if I ever talk to them again. No one deserves to be treated this way. I'm sorry you have to go through this too. If you have the strength to walk way u will be alot better for it. I know I was. Hugs 🤗

exaclty

That is a difficult place to be. You were alone , I am sorry that this person that you trusted was not worthy of you.

This is exactly what I’ve experienced.

I feel for you. I made the mistake of telling my Narcissistic Mom I had breast cancer. She blamed me for having breast cancer, shamed me, on the morning of my surgery which she demanded to go with me she decided to eat in front of me knowing full well I was going into surgery and obviously could not eat, she rubbed in my face how her food was so wonderful, she claimed she would take care of me afterwards however did nothing except scream at me and be abusive. This was years ago and before I knew what a Narcissist was. I learned to not share anything with my Mom and I rarely speak to her. She has told me from a young age I ruined her life, she hates me and what a worthless person I am in her opinion. My sister is also a Narcissist and I have no relationship with her either. She was also very abusive to me growing up. Sadly we don’t get a choice of being born into an abusive family. The good news is we do have a choice as to if we want to exclude them from our lives. I realize it is painful and can be challenging. I noticed how much better my life has been without them in my life. The rare times I have spoken to my Mom it triggered me and woke me up to remind myself I don’t deserve this abuse. Nobody does. I am deeply sorry for your experiences. We each deserve better. ❤

@@catzska thank you 😊

Amen!!

10+ years into surviving stage 4 cancer the total discard is becoming final. The process has been brutal.

This is awful 😣

I am also a nurse-retired now.

precisely this- I´ve witnessed all of this and more with my sister over the last 3.5 years. First with my father dying from cancer during the pandemic, and now my mother. I wish I had known what Narcissism was before we did the POA.

I'm sorry. I hope you have a long happy life without him

Yes yr just a inconvenience. Not part of the narrative

I am so happy your mom got out and that you're doing better!

wow what the hell,what a sorry ass piece of crap!! I hope you're doing ok 😞💔 You deserve so much better!

@@kyliestorm_musicwhat?

Prayers and blessings for you, so happy that you are so strong, keep going ❤🙏🙂

You give me courage. Bless u 🙏😊

Good for you! Not many people seem to have courage to say no to someone toxic in their life.

You're amazingly strong! May this condition be healed as you have more peace in your body.

I honestly could have written this post. I tell people what a blessing my Crohn's ended up being. 16yrs and 3 kids later, I put in my time. Best decision i ever made was to leave

I hope he is gone and leaves you alone ):

What a terrible situation to find yourself in. It is my offspring who act like this. And I don’t know why.

But if they've got so much as a self induced tummy ache, hangover, any little injury, they'll expect tender loving care from you as if they're all that exists in the universe Its painful, but good that you learned this now. I bet he was attentive INSIDE the hospital . Either to make the staff believe you'd have care when you got home, or to prevent you from telling anyone what really goes on behind closed doors

​@@maryshanley329 Same Here!

Watch Gabor Mate explaining why people get sick. Very helpful.💜

My father was horrendous when I was sick as a kid and he is no better at 80, and im sick again. He would shout and yell if I'm coughed! It was and nightmare. I barely speak to him unless I'm have to and nd im very ill but he never bothers to and how i am. Instead he tells me about his bad back blah blah blah. 4 vacations a year gardens walks goes out, but oh his back is so bad!

Sorry for your troubles. A lot of people clicking on this video have been through similar parents. Choose God, understanding and humility. God bless.

My mother was the same. If I got sick she’d get so angry to have to warm up a can of chicken noodle soup or bring me a box of tissues. One time I had a stomach virus and threw up. Some of it missed the toilet and got on the floor. She scolded me for messing up her clean bathroom and made me clean it up. I always related to the movie “Mommie Dearest” because it was like watching my childhood. They are truly evil people that should never have children.

I don't know how you could have cared. She drained all that from you.

@@youcantsingdumass Like soup and tissues are actual work - they acted like they just built a stairway to heaven. Shame on your mother for making you clean up - she took the chance of you getting sick on the floor all over again too - I swear they are from another planet. Be well.

OMG!!! I am so sorry. Nobody should be treated like that

Oh my word. I am sorry you were raised by that awful psycho. I truly believe my mother should have been locked up years ago, as well. SO difficult having a Narc as a mother. I also went no contact.

😢 hugs ❤

Wow, that's awful. Sending you a big virtual hug. 💖

It breaks my heart just reading this!😢. May you find healing!! 🙏

My narc mom did that while I was growing up. EVERYTIME I got sick, she’d always yell saying “Her hair is always too wet.” Or “her body is always too cold.”

Oooof. Yes, I’ve heard that before. I really believe it’s much more just old tendencies from a malignant narc mother (my grandmother) which is just my own mom and I both trying to sort out our behaviors and co-dependency while basically have the evil woman within a stone’s throw of our front door. Also, it’s usually almost like those narc tendencies are walled up somewhere until the stressors on my mom get to be too much and the walls crumble and then I’m expected to have provided far more than the love and support of a daughter-been basically told that because of my father, and the rest of her family, it’s my job to fill those roles because I am not narcissistic like they are. But am in constant pain from some seriously untreated (thanks to a narc _doctor_ ) bone and joint disorders so my own grips on responding in non-aggro ways (not taking the bait) are usually very thin. I usually have to just wait it out, wait for the switch to flip, and then carefully go back and see where we are. It hasn’t remotely helped my self asteeme about not being a burden, especially when I’ve been told I _am_ one unless I fill those other love sources that, at the family level I had _no_ power over because I didn’t _exist_ . But… I’m getting there.

Yes. One upmanship.

Yes

My ex used that phrase on me all the time.

it just dawned on me right now watching this.

I remember when my sister was in about 1st grade and one morning she told Mom she didn’t feel well. Mom told her to “get on the bus and you’ll feel better!” She got on the bus and threw up. The bus driver was not happy with my mother. She not very empathetic with anyone’s illness and still she was better to have with me than it was to have my narc husband during bc recovery. I didn’t know about narcs at the time of any of those situations.

Same here. She actually resented it. Ofcourse I realise that it's because it took the attention from her

Same for me …

I actually won an award in grade school for “perfect attendance “. The “joke” in my house was if I was bleeding from my eyeballs, I was “going to school”.

They have the jock brain syndrome and you are a fishing widow. All over the coastline. So sorry.

I am so glad you had your mom to help with your daughter and I am so sorry you went through that. 💜

I’ve experienced the same thing. Sadly, I alone in this country and I can’t rely on him at all. I’m afraid of his anger and aggression.

That is horrendous! You deserve to be treated so much better! Glad you got rid of him. May you and your daughter find true peace and happiness 💜

I am with a wonderful man now. Not a narcissist, addict or bipolar (the Triumvirate of my childhood). I am a generational cycle breaker and I refuse for my daughter to have the same "programming" and to choose unavailable partners. I'm so happy that I'm in and can model a healthy, loving, reciprocal relationship with an amazing partner. Finding my light and loving her unconditionally are some of the greatest gifts! I wish for healing, love and connection for all of us. ✨

Wow 😢

It's like not able to feel the extreme pain someone right infront of them is in. Dead soul. 💔 It's a sad state for both parties. The wounded person suffers physical pain & heart pain as they receive the shock of their lives. & the one solving puzzle is unaware that they have something big lacking that makes a human human. Even animals feel it when other animals / humans around them are in pain & need extra care. :(

Yes. They are not normal. I hope you are healed and free of this man.

My mom did this too, and continues to do this.

Least she doesn't beat the sick outta you

I wonder if there is some misconnection in their brain that makes them almost feel empathy, but instead mistakenly believe they are the one in need.

@@barbaraedwards5675 Dam what an awful human being.

Now that you say that I remember my mother being the same.

Check in me I meant

So glad you left that mfer! What a jackhole.

Oh yes! I actually said that to my narc... that he was kinder to strangers than he was to me. If I had been a no one calling in to his insurance agency with some sob story, he would have paid my premiums for me. Not for me though!

Dear Lord..thank God you pulled through..certainly an eye opener...

❤️💔❤️

This is all true! It makes you realise how they can't even just ask how you are and sit with you. I'm thankful to the strangers that helped me during cancer!

My mother was one, stop seeing her when I realized...

Their called cowards.

Yes so true

My ex was ALWAYS sick exactly when I was, developing headaches when I had them, etc etc just to avoid me being the actually-sick one. Anytime I took medicine, he'd take the same.

@@feministmermaid4769 Ditto. They have to beat you at everything.

My Mother-in-law did this. I was sitting in a hospital bed a couple days post delivery with a bladder infection spreading to My kidneys. She called to talk about herself while on a road trip, and to tell Me she also sometimes got back pain. 🙄 That was when I truly knew she was a narcissist.

😮😢damn!

She’s a monster 👿 Consider it a blessing that she left!!! I’m so sorry you had to endure that 😢 Narcissistic fools only care about themselves (my ex husband demonstrated this time and time again).

I’m so sorry you went through that. Wishing you the best 💖

My narcissistic mother caught Covid last year.. and when she was down and out as her adult daughter I refused to take care of her as she was horrible to me during my childhood (2000-2012). When she had Covid my enabling father took care of her and was subject to her abuse too. By the time he caught Covid, my narc mother had recovered and went back to her old nasty ways. I’m leaving her in the nursing home. She threatened to leave me at a shelter when I was 15 in 2010 and then sided with my bullies.

Bro , much respect , u dealt with the devil and won , Ve Con Dios Mi Amigo

When I was diagnosed with 3C breast cancer. I asked my partner to please try to work less so we could spend more time together. Instead, my partner hired our unemployed friend to help, and I was in charge of managing that person. The "helper" had epilepsy, yet it was her job to drive me to appointments. Needless to say, I drove myself to appointments...and learned to live with a flying monkey in my home. Naturally, my partner worked more than ever. I was discarded 5 years later- when it became apparent that I would not die and leave my estate.

@@deniseclaeys8295 I'm sure that was a terrible experience, but I'm glad to hear you're still going strong and surely you're much better off without the narc. Sending hugs 💖💖

28 seconds ago @doristorresphd Thank you for your kind comment- and the virtual hug! It took a long time to understand what had happened, and start to recover from it all. It has been a struggle on many levels, but today I am very grateful to be feeling strong. When I backslide, I remind myself what a crazymaking nightmare it would have been to go through covid with my ex. That sets my mind straight every time.

@@deniseclaeys8295 yes, you got this!! 🙌🏼✨💕

I have rheumatoid arthritis. When I started hurting back in 2018, my family vehemently denied that my pain was real. I don’t know why it mattered to them so much to discredit my experience; but it did.

​@@dvawva5197 because pain and victimhood is "special" to them. They see it as a diminishment of their own personal suffering when others have the human experience of suffering chronic pain too.

@@dvawva5197 I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's really painful. Have you ever wondered if your disease came from being in a family with narcissists? I always felt like that, and then many years later heard about the book, "The Body Keeps the Score," by Bessel Van der kolk.

@@LynnsKZfaqNot sure that’s an appropriate recommendation considering what OP said about their family. A lot of ‘physical illness is caused by trauma’ books like this imply that a change in psychological attitude is what is needed. That’s not helpful for people managing chronic illness like autoimmune illnesses. It’s also not particularly helpful when one is suffering from a chronic illness to trace back the cause from 30 years ago or whenever as that doesn’t reverse a disease and can appear to be blaming the individual for not being g able to cure themselves because they are ‘resistant’ to facing their trauma. Bear in mind many people here will have been gaslighted by their close narcissistic people in this exact way.

​@@grandmakillerthere are people working in psychiatry and psychology touting this idiocy that pain is caused by stress or depression . all they are doing is hurting people yet at the same time when people are in physical pain you'll find people out there who will do nothing to help and will not even let a person talk about their pain or disabilities or limitations.

This is exactly a narcissist I knew did and said she said because she had another boyfriend at the time she told me I don’t think I am going to be with him for to long she said everything all his faults his flaws he has bipolar he has seizures so clearly she meant it she and him are no longer together anymore plus she went back to her first boyfriend they are on and off she only with the first boyfriend because of his benefits like supportive of her financial reasons but it was probably more I doubt it because it’s of security and money she like most narcissistic people they use people for so many reasons if you allow it they will take advantage of you.

Its astonishing these people exist but they do and I have known more then a handful up close.

​@@selinaogorman8380Oh yes, they want to take everything off you, even if not in romantic relationship. They are so badly done by you know. Guilt trip you, even though in reality they have had better off parents, support and aren't disabled or ill, where you are. One felt entitled to my unit, hard earned money, superannuation etc. WTF! Not involved, met at work. They have no respect for boundaries or you. They truly live in an alternate universe!

They are horrible humans!!! I recall having severe postpartum depression and anemia after the birth of my daughter. (42 yrs ago) I needed help as I had to return to the hospital for several days. She told me stop faking because she needed to get back to her life. This was her first granddaughter I needed help with. Grateful I recovered. Please don't depend on them to help you. They create so much damage in the lives of others, it's not worth the hell and destruction that is caused. And if they are covert, the damage is worse!

Abuse is definitely cause for divorce

yeah but she wants the social status that having a husband gives her. @@bakerinthehouse5346

Sounds familiar

What happend that you nearly died, if you wanna share your story ? I hope you're fine now

I find that statement extremely disturbing ~ hope that you are in a much better place now and have no contact with your abusers… I send Love and Light.❤

❤❤❤❤

Sounds like some serious Hansel and Gretel shit

I don't think my mom is a narcissist, but what you said reminded me of an incident a few months ago where she got mad at me for not being able to help her with house chores because I was very nauseous and vomitted a lot

@@maeannengo4908 Emotional immaturity can also look like narcissistic traits and behaviors. I go back and forth between my mom is a full blown vulnerable narcissist or just emotionally immature and abusive. It really depends on what memories are triggered at the time. My brother on the other hand, there’s no back and forth. He’s a full blown overt vulnerable narcissist, he’s just occasionally covert. He also checks more than a few boxes of a sociopath. My childhood was traumatic from beginning to end.

You Realize IF You...TRULY want to be Emotionally & Mentally healthy You may Need to permanently! Severe all ties with people like this. ** I have had to severe ties with my family

@@angelinaesposito3058 I haven’t cut ties with my mom and step dad but I am complete no contact with my brother. I’ve made my boundaries very clear in that aspect, which they have honored for the last 5 years. I also think my complete apathy has been a sort of stopper for my mom’s emotional abuse. I imagine it’s not rewarding for her to villainize me anymore. Her emotional and psychological abuse comes at a cost she can’t afford and she’s very aware of that, because me being admitted to yet another mental hospital is embarrassing for her, after all. She’s finally terrified of breaking the fragile mind she already broke over the last 42 years.

Same here, struggling with a fragmented mind, which broke again into a million pieces after new trauma (forced psychiatric treatment for bipolar disorder and my family feeling relieved that they are the sane ones, whatever anger I expressed all those years was just my mental illness). 10 years later, I ve gone low or no contact with many people, I have returned to healthy old friendships that I had abandoned over the years because I was too busy taking care of a bunch of narcissists, I am gentle to myself, take all the advice I find here on yt (tim fletcher is another great channel) and I finally watch the pieces coming back together!!! We can heal, it s not linear, it gets worse before it gets better, etc etc, but yes we can!! I am 41, it s since last year that I really feel integrating, and it seems to just happen, the more I insist on being protective and kind to myself and staying grounded. I walk my dog and myself everyday, looking at autumn colors, touching leaves and smelling flowers, and whenever I feel like mourning/ crying, I do it. Wishing you the best❤❤❤

NEVER REPRODUCE WITH A NARC

Spot on!!!

"5. Will fault a chronically ill person for causing their own illness " 100%.... she has born only healthy children... the rest is your fault.

I see you met my family

So well said/written 🎯every point!

This is why my medical directives state that my entire family is FORBIDDEN to receive any of my medical information, visit me in care settings, or make ANY decisions. Only my husband and two best friends are empowered to make decisions. And still I fear some future healthcare professional will cluelessly give them access one day.

I thought for a second this comment was written by me. When extended family members were aware of how sick you were, I bet she performed the perfect caring mom until she reached her batshit breaking point, then in the privacy of your toxic home, would shame and guilt you for having the nerve to not care about how bad she was feeling. “It’s not all about you! I’ve been feeling awful for weeks and haven’t complained once” (implying that by being honest about how you’re still feeling means you’re complaining).

It is sad that it takes something major for our eyes to be opened. I am glad you are better!

Narcs lack empathy

MAO KANANG MGA DAUTAN NGA TAW MAAYU LANG NA UG ABUNDANT KA UG TAN AW NILA NAA SILAY MAPALA NIMO KAI KANANG DAUTAN NGA TAW.....KWRTA ..RAY KATAPAT ANA MOHILOM NANA WANA SILAY GINOO...MAO DILI NA SILA MALOOY UG MAKONSENCYA...WAPOD NA SILAY PAKI UG MAMATAY KA BISAN PAG MAMATAY KA MALIPAY NON NA KAI MAO NAY GUSTO NILAMAHITABO NMO ANG DAUTAN NGA TAW BISAN ASA PANA IBUTANG DAUTAN JUD NA DILI NANA MAWALA NILA KAI MAO NAY NADAK AN NILA..

Well spoken

I know that feeling and sorry to hear others go thru this!!!! 🙏😢

If you are still married, good luck.

Are you still married to him??? In that case you have to get away, he sounds like an awful human being. For a narcissist their other half exists only to enhance their own image.

Yep.

They are not kind and they lack empathy and they try to make you feel guilty.

Covid was definitely a sign of things to come with any relationship. Did they help, or did they make it worse?

@@nikkinorton8310 I wasn’t getting better and I suggested he sleep in a different room… Due to cross contamination. He threw a fit got so aggressive.. I’m sitting there looking bewildered like “Dude” he continuously wanted to have sex.. wanted to be up under me. It was a total nightmare. At that point I knew he had to go!

The same thing for me. We never lived together and were only really with each other for a short term, but in that time he got Covid like a month into us knowing each other and I got it three months later. When I suggested I got it when we went to Boston on St. Patrick's Day, you know, a crowded city flooded with people and where we went to multiple places, he was like "No you must be wrong because I didn't get it." He told me I only could've gotten it at work, in a room with twelve preschoolers, when I had already started developing cold symptoms. 😂😂 (Don't worry I did wear a mask there, but I thought it was just allergies). I don't even understand why he was so insistent about that, because his immunity to it would've still been up. Catching it twice in three months just isn't that common. He just didn't wanna hear that my sickness might've had anything to do with something we did together even though I wasn't remotely trying to blame him. Then once I started getting seriously sick with Covid, suddenly he was just having the worst crises in his life and had to complain to me about every little thing like it was devastating and showed no care towards me whatsoever. Would send me walls of text all day when I was barely able to lift my head and wanted me to support him emotionally over every single thing. And after I was testing negative, I never really "got better" because I ended up developing an autoimmune disease that I'm still struggling to get professional care for. I told people in my life that I'm simply not well enough to hang out with them like I used to anymore; I wouldn't be leaving the house for anything except work and major events (I had two brothers getting married and having a baby over the summer so I still prioritized those). All my other friends took it well enough. It's not great to hear but they knew not to shame me or make it about themselves. Not him, though! He played the victim, minimized my illness in comparison to alllllll his problems, and discarded me. Now I'm glad that happened when it did, as much as it hurt. Not having to deal with him on a daily basis anymore because I was experiencing his silent treatment... it was a blessing in disguise. Whenever he'd pretend to express care it was so fake. It was like he was pandering to an audience. And whenever he didn't imagine an audience there, that's when he'd be truly nasty to me.

Interesting how so many people are ready to explain away their unkind and unempathetic behaviour, I've experienced similar. All power to you.

Same thing happened to me. Not once did he drive me to my appointments. Only reason he dropped me off at the hospital was so he didn't look bad, but he didn't even stick around. He felt inconvenienced because he had a trip scheduled and didn't want to postpone . Heartbreaking. 😢

@@iramsavir5631 I’m so sorry

Just horrible

Well said. ❤

👏That's powerful. Congrats!

Well done, YOU!!! That was brave and wise. I am so glad you have been able to create a peaceful life for yourself.

I'm so sorry for you, brother and mother. How sad. Keep up the boundaries.

🙏🙏🙏

Wow not every guy could see the reality . I am happy for your wifey, she has you ❤

You are an incredible man! I wish my husband could see all of that when I was going through that difficult time when her mom visiting us. May God bless you ❤ You will have a long n happy life with your family ❤

Good for you ! Difficult to do but so important for you and your family.

Be careful it's not your wife turning you away from your family just to isolated you .that's what mine did

@bulletstee9118 don't worry, my family is garbage, so I made a new one. I'm sorry you had to experience that with your wife. Some people see the love we give as an opportunity to abuse us, which is despicable. I hope you find your peace.