💯 I agree with this.

🙌🏻

In every case?🙄

@@jeanval428 you said that, I didn’t. You decide for yourself what works for you.

@@Kelly-sl6vz asked?😒

I did this too until I found someone who I walk dogs for who is a single man and I met him in person many times. I really care about him and we like each other however he is avoidant and a Ph.D. in psychology and had a private practice no less. He is now a lawyer and works for the government. He is a very nice man, but he only goes so far in a relationship and that is it! I may soon go back to my happy single life where I was for 20 years! We are both professionals, with no children I have been married however he never has and we are both over 63. I am too old for any games and I have my own money so while I do not need a man, I just wanted a man to share my happy life with.

i havent been with anybody for 9 years and i don't miss the bs at all when it comes to romantic relationships and marriage . Just gets lonely sometimes.

how about a Non- dating Scenario? ( Case in point 4 adult childrens Ghosted US). so So SAD.

Yes it has )-:

They're more old fashioned in the country. X

Right! It still hurts though if you liked or loved that person.

I had someone come after me and insist on the immediate connection, commitment and intimacy. Very quickly involved me in their life, immediately wanting me to meet friends, parents, coworkers, etc. Told me I was the one. It went on and on, and after a few months I felt safe and saw no reason not to trust. Then BOOM…they discarded me with NO real answer as to why. Just couldn’t. Yes, I’ve been in therapy and watching countless videos about narcissists. Worst pain of my life, and I’ve been through a lot.

Wishing you happiness

Exactly. Its rude. Liars. They have bad characters. Narcs ghost. You ghost me I ghost you back. I won't chase people anymore. People are intentional how horrible they treat others. Enough is enough!

@@janetromey7522 had to weed out a flakey person who was a good friend of several years. His now ex wife walked out on him for another friend of his and got herself knocked up. It's crazy that I was more loyal to him than she was and he didn't respect or appreciate it. So much for bros over hoes......not complaining but it just goes to show one should have boundaries and understand their own value

@@georgiakritikos4955 they show us who they are and are not.

@@janetromey7522 Amen, done with all these folks. I don't chase anyone, but sometimes, women, are jealous, may reasons. They can't keep up the game to long. Other reasons, don't care, if they show me disrespect a couple of times, or maybe once, now, I'm OUT. I'm real and dont have time with , they're important, but your not. Ok, bye, Forever, don't have time.

​@@crystalsmith4187 You're absolutely right. People will push you as far as you let them when it comes to disrespect. Nip it in the bud. Don't tolerate disrespect for one minute. People show you who they are by the way they treat others. Why would you allow people around you that don't have respect for others. Low lifes.

😂😂

Thank you! Have you noticed, though, that they re-materialize at your doorstep? Restraining order.

​@@salliegallegos918 yes. I've had ghosters come back, too

Absolutely. You described a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

I think it sounds more like Avoidant Attachment style than narcissism, tbf; the differences can be subtle but are significant. That said, it’s still awful and creates an unjust power imbalance between the two parties. But if it might help you heal, it may be helpful to learn about attachment styles, as it may help you in future situations, and allow more open communication, or at least more understanding and healing for yourself if it happens again, or if you see similar patterns emerging in a new partner. Good luck!

Now I'm so happy he rejected me and I'm 💯 % over it. There where so many red flags and wouldn't have ended well.

It does something to the person their ghosting deep down especially when the ghosting happens after a postponed intimacy …when u don’t let ur guard down until there’s a level of trust and comfort…and they’ve gotten u to that point…only to ghost u immediately afterwards…yeah…that does some serious damage to an already damaged person or psyche …most people aren’t smart enough to realize they’re causing more harm then not by doing that type of thing to someone they know has trauma issues ….

​@@w8what575 They Aren't doing it for YOUR benefit that's for sure. Don;t blame yourself for one minute. You didn't deserve it. No one does. It's all in them. Pure inability to be honest. You dodged a bullet gf, Celebrate that ! 🥳🥳🥳

So true about wanting to contact you years later 🤣 They think you still might be an easy target lol. I don't think a man's feelings for you are even about you. It's always about THEM. A man will treat ANY woman the same way he treats you. Don't take ANYTHING they do at ANY TIME personally. It is all about the kind of person THEY are. NOT YOU.

Yes they have light-switch feelings for people. They can turn them on and off. I tried to be in a relationship with this kind of person but it eventually leads to them cheating. ALWAYS. I think it's important to find out people's true definition of love before attaching. Find out if they think it's an "experience" or want it to be "free and in the moment." Some people will be expert at disguising their unsavory beliefs about relationships but they WILL show you in other ways like disappearing for a few days or not responding to texts in a timely fashion. Beware of the person who connects on an amazing level in person but seems to disappear for a few days afterwards. These are the signs you need to notice and stop with those insecure thoughts of, "I don't want to appear needy or desperate."

I have had them contact me years later & I just tell them it’s too late now. You strike while the irons hot. Since you didn’t, I’m sorry I’m not interested now. You’re right, years later there they are still on a dating site doing the same thing. There’s too many choices on dating sites nowadays, so no one can concentrate on one person.

They can't contact me because as soon as I know. I'm ghosted, they're blocked. And plus I know we're curious to know what happened but even if we knew. That's just with that person. Whatever their problem was nothing to do with us. O so they are doing a safe favor

If you look up Avoidant attachment style (Heidi Priebe’s videos on the subjects of different attachment styles have been some personal favourites I can recommend), it may help bring you healing and understanding. It’s still an awful feeling and a terrible experience, but learning about maladaptive attachment styles could help you recognize it in the future and give you a clearer view of what’s happening and why - and hopefully spare your feelings somewhat if it does, or potentially open the door to better communication with an Avoidant partner if you want to continue trying to pursue something together with them. In any case, sending you only good wishes!

For example what could have said as a friend? I find it more difficult than in romantic relationships. What should I say to a friend, also when l don't want to hurt her, but don't want to continue the friendship?

Some people really do have different standards for friends. For example I’m very low maintenance and can sometimes go a year or more without talking to long distance friends. Neither of us have problems with it and just pickup where we left off, but we are also guys and I know women tend to be closer as friends. I have a suspicion some people see romantic relationships in the same way (for whatever reason) which is one reason for ghosting. Doesn’t make it right, because even to me I find it extremely disrespectful to be that distant in a romantic sense, but it is an explanation

why even bother? they are a piece of art. Fix your own judgement, stop blaming others.

​@@alv4120 The truth. It's very important

@@clownworld4655 I think ghosting also depends on the level of intimacy establishment. If you're sleeping together, talking about your fears and past etc. it's only right to match the goodbye with the connection. Ghosting doesn't match that level of intimacy is therefore ethically wrong.

Oh that's rough! Yeah you deserve much better! 💜

Same as you, except my ghost happened after 5+ years! It's still hard.

Damn I’m sorry to hear. And here I am being butthurt about being ghosted after a seemingly good first date with a girl I really liked

The truth is that most of us don't know how to tell the truth. We hide behind a mask that keeps us safe from emotional pain. Think "tears of a clown, when there's no one around". He was pretending. He wasn't being honest. He didn't know how to tell you so he just disappeared. There are worse ways to break up. I think the worst is when they start to be nasty to you until YOU break up with THEM. That is not nice at all and very painful. And cowardly. 🤮🤡🤪

​@@A-RonHubbard He's just a coward. That's all. No balls. I bet you wouldn't take him back now. You might think you would, but the truth is you wouldn't be able to trust him again. To heal from a broken heart you have to cry, cry, cry. Cry until you have no more tears left to cry. When you are finished crying you won't feel broken any more and you care anymore. Only then can you move on. Try it and you will find I am correct. 🙋🫂💔

That's exactly what happened to me and its easy to get very jaded after a while when everybody met sometimes is a nark. I hope you meet your dream partner.

🌹❤️

In starting to realize the level of mental illness my mother has…when I was 8, I was in an accident involving a bully in school and had my face smashed into a curb..it broke my front tooth off, broke my nose and crushed my cheekbone and caused damage in my neck…I was eventually pulled from the school and sent to public school while my other 5 siblings stayed at the private school where the accident happened…my middle brother who is a junkie psychopath, took my school picture from the house and took it to school and let his friends write all kinds of crap on it…they drew big buck teeth and wrote Bucky whore and all kinds of crap on it..gave it back to him and he brought it back and gave it to me laughing hysterically…right in front of my mom..I was in 5th grade and my brother was in 2nd grade…the accident happened when I was 8 and my parents never took me to the doctor and the private school basically targeted and abused me in order to get me out …my mother to this day sees nothing wrong with what my brother did…I’m 44 now and I asked her last night if she remembered this incident…and she did…she basically blew it off as me over reacting

I really enjoy listening and watching your podcasts, Kenny. I am a bit older than you and grew up in a time when narcissistic abuse wasn't mentioned. I have done extensive research on this issue and come to realize I was the daughter of a narcissistic father. And, yes, emotionally-underdeveloped AND emotionally- immature people exist today, sadly. Keep up the great work, Kenny, and I must say, you have a beautiful smile. 😊

Congratulations! I am so sorry you experienced narcissistic abuse. If you are an empath, you have now elevated to Aware status. There is nothing more powerful than that!!

I wouldn't ghost you. You look fantastic.

or you are not playing the game the way they want it

Ghosting is an escape from taking responsibility. A mature attitude would be to end the conversation with a polite phrase like "I don't want to continue this conversation any longer. Take care." Politeness is respect for others and for oneself.

It only takes a minute literlally to tell them how you feel ghosting is just a new way people who dont know how to communciate like a real adult do they jist ghost you like a teeneager

Ghosting: weak ass shit

More dangerous than the ghosters are the people who light-weight ghost. They stay in your life, pop back in and pop back out as though you're a special restaurant of theirs. Those people cause more damage than the one who makes it clear how they feel through a ghost.

Respect to you for getting help. Thanks for being honest! You got this.

Respect for your bravery. 👍

I can relate. Thank you for the share

Thank you for sharing and a willingness to change 🙏

The question is, did you really not know the pain you were causing?

Cowards way out

@@maeveduff8932 They know why you left; there's nothing to explain. Unless they're a moron, they know why you left. Let's say you give an extension explanation, and they want you to stay or talk some more; are you going to continue to explain yourself? When does it end, when THEY say they're content with your explaination for leaving or when you are satisfied with explaining yourself? Using your criteria for cowardice, if you decide to leave and they don't accept your reasoning, you are a coward. It's not a matter of cowardice for leaving without explanation; it's a matter of no longer dignifying their abhorrent behavior with an undeserved answer.

I'm autistic also but get very attached. Something I do though at times when a person appears I'm not interested in I don't know how to tell them. Because I either say nothing or I have no filter. Theres no middle ground.

I too am autistic however everyone seems to blame everything on being autistic. Same thing for ADHD, I have this for years. I get tired of everything people do wrong and blaming it on ADHD. I find this to be a cop out. If you are a ghoster, try and find a way not to do it. Have some growth mindset that you can do it (stop being a ghoster) instead of having a fixed mindset. It takes work but one can do it.

​@@debral9651 Hi Deb. In order to break up with someone in a kind and respectful manner you DO have to talk to them face to face. Think about how YOU would want to be told. Tell them that you like them but your feelings aren't strong enough to commit to a relationship with them. You had thought they might be but now you realize that they aren't. Tell them you don't want to waste their time, and you can't see them anymore so you can both move on. . That is kind and honest. Have some reason to leave immediately so they can have time to process this information. They will have to grieve the loss and cry like any other loss. If you can, call the next day to show that you have respect for them. You should expect some tears but if they become angry or abusive you should remove yourself. Don't give them renewed hope and just repeat what you said before. You can google lots of ways to break up gently. 💔

Do you feel proud of destroying people’s emotional life like it doesn’t mean anything? Should we give you an award or what?

Its good to k ow what is going on with us but your articulated everything so well and having read plenty on the mind brain connection, you have full control and are 100 % responsible to work through your childhood traumas so you can improve and not ghost others anymore. Labels are the lazy persons excuses to not dig deep and feel their pain and learn to develop healthy behaviour. You sound like one of those perfectly capable people. We can't go hurting people because we feel uncomfortable with out pain and dealing with our issues. I encourage you to now start the work within, now that the Dr gave you a label. It's even easier now for you, it's official, you understand exactly what to work on and where to start. I am tired of society making excuses that we simply need to get a label, perhaps pop some pills and walk through life passing along our damaged goods. You are 100% responsible and capable so don't be lazy. I have gone through so much and had tons of childhood trauma but I always did the work and we must be gracious to our journey and pain we have had, yet we must be real and go to work. I had to be strict with myself and not feel sorry nor be defensive. When we are honest with ourselves, we can work through everything.

I'm pulled towards ghosters, but by the same reason. Fear of rejection makes me fear vulnerability and intimacy. I love connection.

@@ann-louisegustavsson5008 I love connecting too but todays dating market is so full of self-centered men who want the goods instead of a real connection!!

It's truly brutal.

Listen with so many avoidant abusers or narcs doing this kind of thing online too the point most are now experiencing this, please don’t blame the victim as always “choosing ghosters” because they themselves have commitment issues. It’s an evil matrix created by social media and hiding behind a screen with no accountability along with poor morals they’ve either been trained into by the lack of guidance as children or through the company they keep and the culture they adhere too. I myself had this happen too me and in my case it triggered childhood abandonment issues which lied dormant as my previous relationship was relatively healthy, with consistency, commitment and respectful communication & behaviour between both of us, so it was a shock to my system encountering this Ghosting phenomena. It triggered a refusal too let go which led to a lot of emotional pain and fieriness in my communication eventually. I guess Narcs love pushing those buttons once the see or are aware you have these traumas. It’s pure evil. But many people come across these types even without the unresolved childhood trauma because of all the options available. It’s about Greed, ego, pride & selfishness. It’s a very demonic energy. People are seen as commodities, it’s like a fast food culture of easy to digest, consume & discard. I tried online dating for 5 mins and walked away from it due too the prevalence of low moraled men behaving in ways that make you feel subhuman and just an ornament, plus having multiple on the go. It’s not for the faint hearted. I’m certainly protecting myself better these days but I got so caught up in trying to get closure and refusing too let go of hope it virtually kept me immobilised in a trauma bond. Let these people go. Pray for them but never ever except that behaviour again. It’s no longer a three strike your out policy as some suggest. I gave mine soooo many opportunities to explain their case too no avail. If ever they come back, you have two options 1) shut the door forever 2) Set strong boundaries, let them know what they all are and that would include extensive joint therapy, not long distance online etc. face to face and no communication online, no texting, emails etc. Phone calls and face to face. I would not do long distance with that person either if they happen to live somewhere else. If they say they want a relationship and sorry I mucked up with a myriad of reasons, just set the rules and make them aware it’s not dating it’s about healing, therapy and maybe friendship but they need too do the work. Both need to want too heal the damage sincerely. Obviously if they are a Narc well they have too acknowledge that first and own it. If they don’t say goodbye best of luck. But if you go down the healing path with them continue living your life and continue your friendships. Don’t put your life on hold, including your search for a loving relationship because there’s a possibility if they are Narcs, (which is usually the case) they may continue too try too fool you too extract whatever it is all of a sudden they want out of you. I’ve heard of people masking themselves and ACTING for a very very long time. Also no sex, no supply. They may find with all the boundaries it’s a too hard basket and will give up soon enough. But that route ain’t for the faint hearted, you need the grace of GOD to be able to go down that path with someone. You need too see consistent respectful behaviour and communication at every turn. If they waver in the ground rules set, they’ve decided on the fate it’s now over indefinitely and you close the door permanently. No second chances ever again.

You’re not lying. The dating pool kind of sucks for men & women now

Yes but when you ghost you don’t go back. A narcissist comes back when they need you.

Glad to help!

Thanks for listening!

Absolutely!

You are so welcome

You’re welcome

Kudos Eve. At least you are self reflecting and seeing the seriousness of your actions. Blessings

You are very welcome

You are very welcome😁

Glad you enjoyed it!

Thank you so much!

Same to you!

thats the first thing these ghosters say when confronted followed by "don't make me feel guilty". I mean ghosting is the most heartless thing anyone can do. I mean its worse than even an assassination.

Thank you! I am really happy to hear you enjoy what I teach and you feel it is helping you

Glad it was helpful!

You’re welcome 😁

You're very welcome

Awesome, I hope you flip around my channel and find some things that interest you and possibly help you😁

Exactly. What’s the difference. No contact because someone has been abusive or ghosting?

Depends….does that person make u feel like a better person or do they make u constantly wonder? Ghosting is also a tactic that abusive people use to hook their claws into vulnerable people inexperienced with their type of abuse…I was very naive when I went out into the world…I had no idea that my ex husband was abusing me emotionally by cheating on me and then blaming me for him cheating because I was not living up to his expectations…I spent half my adult life trying to fix myself to make him happy…after 14 years of his bs..I finally had enough when I found myself on a bridge getting ready to jump because I didn’t do his laundry right and woke up to him screaming and spitting in my face that if I ever touch his laundry again he was going to beat the ever living hell out of me and put me in the hospital! I had done his laundry the entire time exactly the same then one day that happened. He was doing this kind of mind screwing in front of our sons…my oldest son being old enough to have learned that’s how he could treat his mother…my oldest son physically attacked me on a few occasions over having to help carry in groceries or do his homework when he was a teenager and then I found out that he was telling his school that I was violently abusing him and he was terrified to go home in hopes they would pull him from my custody and let him live with his dad…who wanted nothing to do with him…he went as far as trying to have me arrested for things I’m not even physically able to do..my son is 6’ tall 300 lb football player…im 5’ tall and petite….they were the reason I left my ex…because he was starting to abuse them and I couldn’t protect them from him any longer …I made the mistake of trying to hide the fact their dad didn’t want to have visitations anymore…he would cancel for the visit and go spend the weekend partying with his new wife..or one of his other girlfriends instead…I tried to protect my son but it backfired…I should have let him experience the abandonment he was receiving …even if it broke my heart..I still struggle with that deep seeded belief that no man would want a woman like me…that I am the reason why my ex had to cheat and financially neglect us and steal from us and leave us with no food etc…nothing hurts worse then a toddler crying and hanging on u because he’s hungry and there’s nothing u can do about it because their father decided he needed another motorcycle helmet and spent every last penny on it instead of food…when he was specifically told it’s al we have left for food…and I had two more weeks before my next paycheck and not even a cracker to feed my sons…I lost 16 lbs in two weeks and had no vehicle while he had 7 car payments and lived a life of Riley at my expense..when I kicked him out, I was on the verge of losing everything…I had to barrow money from my parents to turn the electricity back on and buy diapers for my youngest son and my co workers brought me a bunch of commodities food that kept us fed …I was very blessed to have met the people who helped us through those hard times…there were very few of them that he hadn’t gotten to…most people were giving false testimony and making themselves look like fools in the end when it was proven they were lying for him to punish me…I was turned into cps over 24 times when my ex husbands attorney finally sent the state a letter threatening a law suit because my ex thought I was turning him in because he was too stupid to realize that every time he turned me in, they had to investigate both parents lol…so he thought they were questioning him because I turned him in..,lol..what a moron! So he did me a favor by having his attorney write that letter lol…he eventually got to my boss through a friend of his that also worked where I did and got me fired…he’s had me fired many times and had intentionally made life difficult for us…these types are monsters and the only way to get away is to block and ghost..

😢I’m so sorry for all the anguish you’ve been put through.

@@w8what575Sadly when he crosses over when it’s his time his energy will attract demons & deceased in that dimension with same vibration. This is what Christian’s call the fires of Hell. It’s not being burned alive, as some think, that’s a literal interpretation. The Fire is the hate, evil, narcissistic attacks and constant abuse by those guarding that dimension. It’s like an very intelligent AI devoid of any love or sympathy. It’s just torment and being forced to join their ranks and be poltergiests and torment us living humans through telepathic thought in your own mental voice (like Aliens) it’s a mind control. They can mimic anyone cause they record us, even can look like us. I mean we already have digital technology where we can make fake videos of celebrities with AI voices, it’s getting so sophisticated, imagine what these entities are capable of? Prince of the Air and his host of evil followers. Well the AIR is invisible just like internet, radio, TV etc. When you’ve seen physical materialisations, experienced poltergiests, seen the intelligence behind it, you’ll come to realise we are in a simulation created by this overlord of Evil, we are all watching the disintegration of human spirit as they unbeknownst give themselves over too these evil inter dimensional entities who are orchestrating this massacre of human life and mankind. People need to connect the dots and step out of the matrix game they’re luring people into. God of love is outside this simulation. The path to freedom is narrow but it’s that light that grows through living in love (not sexual) in purity, in sacrifice, laying down one’s selfishness side and getting out from under their evil domain. That’s why there’s man and woman. Two combined acting in love have a better chance of transcending this realm because they can build a big love energy field. But sadly most are building pits of hell, or too afraid to build anything so endure the misery of loneliness whilst lusting over porn or being evil and lying and luring the opposite sex for sexual gain or other selfish gain which again is exactly the evil energy of these entities. It’s all negative, we aren’t meant to be alone, we are designed to be in relationships and have families. Anyone who says otherwise is a fool. If that was the case we’d be all one gender. Many Men have disassociated from their emotions already going back from the beginning, this came from hunting, wars etc. But they are designed to love and protect. Instead today we see many adhering to this Red Pill, ChAD culture of abusing women, sexually exploiting them and convincing themselves it’s their “nature”?. Well sure if your Master is the Prince of Air. You have to escape it and get set free. Free yourself from trauma, live right, treat others respectfully, walk away from lust, greed, narcissism, envy, abuse and all toxic behaviours. Walk in truth, love, hope, joy, trust, respect, humbleness, kindness, empathy etc. Just as Jesus Christ demonstrated. Please don’t let religion trigger you from seeing the truth. It’s pretty evident we are heading off a cliff at the moment, we need too turn this ship around, do it for yourself, your family and think eternity. Cos it’s not easy once your stuck in that realm, it’s a pit almost impossible to climb out from once there. I can make the argument that for the abusers who treat others like ghosting and other abusive behaviours they are already in the pit. If they don’t wake up and do the healing now, their hope diminishes. You need to invite love into you, call God (the real one who walks in love)to help heal you and then be proactive and DO IT because the true God of love doesn’t control, will not force you to love or live the life that’s best for you. You have free will despite it appearing as though that is an illusion. You choose everything, God doesn’t bring you bad experiences but the Evil entity who build this simulation we are in controls our dimension. We are like chess pieces in a game, you can participate and walk around blind to everything or hopefully you wake up and get the hell out. Either be the puppet or direct your move consciously and get out of the GAME. For those that think this is all hogwash, let me say this. Why does love even exist? What exactly is perfect love? TRUE LOVE never dies. For those in lifelong healthy marriages where the partner dies after 50 + years, often die soon after or spend the rest of their lives cherishing their partner with fond memories and never even think to repartner. They aren’t consumed by lust and selfishness to remarry for sex because it’s REAL. True love never dies. God created love to show us we were created to live in love forever. Death is the result of evil energy (sin nature). Anyway I follow Christ after decades of the seeking of spiritual truths through science, Occult, other religions etc. Unless you can transcend with the practice of the Rainbow Body Meditation and the monks with that ability, even they can’t return. Yet Christ did and said he would and said how and when. But it was his humble walk in love that demonstrates he isn’t a shapeshifting demon of light. So if your lost seek wisdom from spiritually enlightened masters and get set free.

Great question. Yes they can

Yes. Ghost away.💀

I don't call it ghosting; I call it no contact from abusers.

Thank you

You are so welcome

​@@kennyweiss😁