Thanks for sharing

You don’t have to apologize you are perfect and I love the background!

I totally agree with what you’re saying about segregation. I remember the students with disabilities (who we did call “special ed”) had their own classes, their own teachers, and everyone knew that they were different in some way. But there was never a discussion about empowerment or meeting them where they were.

Wow, that's awesome they've acknowledged that blind people need the opportunity to learn and have what they need! They should cover learning Braille, getting a guide dog, and all of the things you have to be retrained to do without sight.

I'm Deaf. Period. Meanwhile, I like to have a cap handy if I'm going outside.

Agreed! I'm from the UK too, and would never use that word! I am myself disabled due to having chronic illnesses. Prior to taking ill I was a professional athlete/coach, and always on the move. Even as an able-bodied person I tried to use the correct terms for people with different disabilities, and have taught sport to children with both mental and physical disabilities.

Same in the US disabled community, but not in the general public. We have signs for accessible parking spots/toilets with that word, so it keeps it front and center. Also, it's in many of our laws pertaining to disability.

@@lindatannock i’m also from UK and live with a visual impairment and I’ve really heard the word handicap but I think people get the idea more from things like films or books are enough read a couple of books myself and I don’t wanna sound very good no virus about it but they use one handicapped and it honestly makes me feel disgusted sometimes

I'm from the U.S. and I've never heard the word used to describe PEOPLE. It's only ever used to refer to bathroom stalls and parking spots. And now that I think about it, I can't remember what word I use to describe those things. I feel like disabled parking, accessible parking, handicapped parking all sound the same to me. I literally would not have even realized they're three different words if not for this video.

yes it's beautiful and looks so comfy and cozy

Haha same! 🌈

Same here

I was doing the same and trying to figure out where it was from lol

Same

To be honest, they might not know the history themselves. I didn't learn the history of the word until my late teens! That said, they might and just choose to use it anyways. As I said in this video, it's all personal preference and it's important to use the language that the person themselves identifies with.

@@MollyBurkeOfficial Yeah! For sure agree with you there! I have scoliosis, not too severe or anything, but I had to wear a back brace in my early teens, and I never wanted anyone to think I was "handicapped" or not capable to do things myself. I tried to do things everyone else did, and I pushed myself to do sports.

@@teahgood proud of you

I don't mind it either, I still ask to be pointed towards the handicapped parking or changing stalls. The last time Molly did this video, the comments were filled with Americans who said the ban on the word "handicapped" didn't apply here. The same beggar's mythology of the word apparently doesn't exist in the US either. I wonder if it was from early British children's stories or something? In the US, the etymology only goes back to the 1800's at the racetrack where the dictionary definition of "handicap" was born. The conditions of the race would be changed to equalize it for the different competitors (e.g. if the horses were different sizes/weights/etc.). Competitors literally put their hand into a cap with money to agree to the "handicap" to make the race fair. Our origin story is completely benign here, used as concept to give everyone a fair shot in this horserace of life. What did surprise me is how freely she threw out the word "sped". Where I grew up (New England) that was hateful inciting word, on par with "retard". Crazy how different people view different words across the globe!

@@giabarrone7422 what does sped mean?

Ya, one thing I hate is how some people with a disability or handicap or illness or whatever try to speak for EVERYONE who is disabled by saying “don’t call us ____.” Being called crippled doesn’t bother me, its an accurate description of my body. Who cares? But I can see why it could offend someone else who had a different association (usually conferred by the able-bodied) with the word. Some people embrace the term “disability”, others want to be called “differently abled”- which I find cringy and something usually used by the able-bodied PARENTS of disabled children to make THEMSELVES more “comfortable” with their child’s disability and the often dramatically awful future they imagine them having because of it. Most people can tell, through simple context, if a person is being rude, trying to be respectful, or is just plain ignorant. Reacting to that accordingly, and correcting people if that’s what you feel like doing (I find it tedious and unnecessary most of the time), by telling them what term you prefer is fine. But trying to speak for the ENTIRE disability community - which has hundreds of millions of people in every culture all over the world- on what is proper terminally is worse than just the individual who “mislabels” someone else. In my opinion, its worse even than the jerks who do it to be bullies.

@A real Mrs. Smith thank you I hate it too when people speak for an entire community. I'm handicapped plain and simple. Terminology isn't the issue, its stores that still don't have ramps. It's employers that don't understand reasonable accommodations. It's not the terminology it's the way some of society views handicaped people and disabilities. I don't think changing the word is going to magically change peoples opinions. Also, I have come to hate the new inclusive model in school. My son is also handicapped/ disabled. He was on the cusp of being in the disabled class room or a regular class with support. He was placed in a regular class with support. It has never worked for him. He could never learn anything. He was teased constantly. The large groups of people and stimuli was not conducive to learning. He learned to deal with people a little bit. He also developed severe depression, ocd and became suicidal. I would have loved for him to be in a small class with 2 teachers and students like himself. I took him out of regular public school 4 years ago and put him in an on line school with a good sped program. He works one on one with his teacher once a week and by himself the rest of the time. Pulling him from public school he was testing at a 2nd grade level in math. In 4 years he has gotten all the way from 2nd grade to algebra 2 high school math. I understand that socialization is important but you can address those skills outside of school. I think the goal should be education first. Having social skills is needed but so is being able to read and write. My son has not been able to catch up on reading. And socialization didn't matter because being in bullied for most of his life has only caused psychological problems and personality disorders. The goal shouldn't be one thing for an entire community. It should be figuring out how to get a person to a point that they can thrive as an adult. Getting to the point that one can get a job as an adult is going to be very different for each person and each disability. I think having tons of options is the best thing. Being at the school for the blind might not have been right for Molly. However, their might have been kids that needed it for 12 years due to lack of support at home. Nothing should be one size fits all and thats the biggest problem with schools and constant inclusivity.

I have a very interesting case where people often won’t notice my condition when it needs to be. They often don’t take what I have seriously or sometimes don’t even believe it is a real condition because of overused terms used by people without the disorder. It’s so annoying. I’m not wanting attention when I need actual extra accommodations -I need the extra accommodations because it would help improve my life by making me feel as normal as possible.

@@vavsjourney6016 this is called an “invisible disability”- you probably already know that. In fact- MOST disabilities are “invisible” in most situations or until you get to know someone. Take Molly- if she is sitting at a table conversing with friends you wouldn’t know she was bling. Even if you later saw Gallop, most wouldn’t recognize his harness as a leading harness for the blind. Anyone who sees me thinks I’m fine because IF they see me its a “good day”, because on “bad days”- aka MOST days- I don’t leave my house... so no one sees the pain and weakness and crushing exhaustion and cognitive problems that come with those things. After 10 years the only people who are close enough to me to know how bad it really is is my husband, and my neighbor to a certain extent. I’ve pretty much taken to cutting my family out. I send the nieces and nephews money, but don’t talk to anyone because THEY can’t handle MY suffering so they try to minimize or dismiss it at best, and at worth have thinly-veiled comments that show they don’t think its “that bad”. I’m lucky to have such an incredibly supportive husband- one who believed me even for the the two years it took to get a diagnosis while doctors who couldn’t figure out what was wrong basically tried to say it was “all in my head” in one way or another, instead of admitting “I just don’t know.” My husband always believed me, never blamed me. And once we found a competent specialist who knew which tests to run and has indisputable proof... most of the family got even worse because they couldn’t admit to themselves they had been shitty to me when I was really sick. So they cling to those reported cases of people with my disease that are living “normal lives” and won’t accept that most diseases vary greatly in how much they effect people. Some people can control their diabetes with just diet, some need meds, some need insulin, some need insulin pumps implanted, some need pancreas TRANSPLANTS, and it even kills some people still. Some people get diagnosed in breast cancer and can “watch and wait” for YEARS with no treatment, some can have surgery and no drugs, some drugs and no surgery, some need whole mastectomies, and still it kills plenty more. Some successful actors and performers (and like regular people) have my disease with mild symptoms, but many are disabled by it. Its been very hard on my husband and I- as my first disabling/troubling symptoms began literally on our honeymoon, and I got years of “oh you’re too young to have anything serious wring with you”, and 10 years later, in my 30s, still get that plus “you look just fine”, and not just from family, but from DOCTORS, who have my 3 inch thick file- with the 50-some-odd pages from Johns Hopkins confirming my diagnoses on TOP! Some people just can’t handle THEIR feelings and discomfort with anything out of the “ordinary”- don’t let that ruin YOUR day- or LIFE. Ya, life would be a lot better if our huge families were supportive and helpful and comforting. But that’s not an option and we can’t control them. I refuse to beat my head against a wall trying to get forced empathy from anyone. And as far public accommodations- you just can’t allow anyone access to the few fvcks you have to give in this world. I’ve had walmart employees stand in line and check out for me, I’ve shamed people who have thought seeing me for 10 seconds gave them the right to judge if I needed handicap parking (“maybe you should just be grateful you are healthy enough that you DON’T need this space and keep your ignorance to yourself.” Or once even, on a really bad day, “come say that within arm’s length of me, b!tch. I can’t stand up for long but I can do it long enough to break your nose!”😂🤣). They NEVER expect you to match- or outdo- their vitriol and stand up for yourself because they think THEY are shaming YOU. If someone is going to be a jerk about something, I have found little success or satisfaction in trying to “educate” them. But the adrenaline from telling them off and saying what I really want to does actually help my pain and give me a little boost for the day. 😆 And most of this was pre-great-dane-service-dog. HIGHLY recommend a giant breed service dog. Most giant breeds are gentle giants, but still, most people don’t know that and keep their mouths shut. And when they don’t, it even more fun to tell them “if you’d like to come over here we can have a conversation about this” with a 150 lb dog between you and them. Ya... it took me about 8 years to stop giving a damn what people thing. I was EXTREMELY SENSITIVE most if my life. But something magical happened around 35... my skin go thick and my middle finger got stiff. I blame the joint deterioration in my hands... 🤷🏻‍♀️

@@Kate-jk6pf I’m sorry you and your child have had to suffer like that. I too wish there wasn’t stigma in children (or anyone) needing something a little different to succeed in life. We aren’t robots or made by cookie-cutters. If your kid is still in school go be a damn “Karen” if if you have to and demand they be put in the other kind of class. No schools “mainstreaming” quota is worth their mental health. “Social skills” are only valuable if they make you HAPPY to BE SOCIAL. I don’t have a problem in that department, other than I was “too sensitive” growing up, and being bullied left life-long scars. I CAN make friends, but I generally have no desire to. Once in a while it might just “happen”, but I don’t really trust anyone but my husband. He’s a weird one though- was a very popular footballs player, but also a computer genius. He can work a room in a way that shocked me the first time I saw it because I only knew the computer nerd. But he’s an introvert at heart so it drains him to “perform” like that. So we can both “socialize” where needed- for job interviews, christmas parties, whatever to get by and get ahead. But we are misanthropes by nature and really don’t like anyone but each other and our dogs for more than 10 minutes at a time, and we had totally different school and family experiences. Our personalities are WAY more “nature” than “nurture”. We can’t do much to change them, aside from totally fvcking them up with trauma.

Aw, this makes me happy!!

Ohh, hey, I'm half blind and half deaf as well! You definitely aren't alone 🙂

i wear my glasses and my hearing aids everyday, you are not alone

Thank you! I am autistic, and I don't know why people think it means someone is stupid.

Yes exactly this. I am autistic, and it influences how I live and interact with the world

Yeah, I think it's a very common view in the autistic community in particular. It's such an intrinsic part of our life that it just feels wrong to separate it this way. I also avoid saying "suffer from" when talking about any condition that does not involve pain, because I don't know if the person is actually suffering (I certainly am not suffering from autism, but I could say I'm suffering from period cramps for example).

Makes total sense! I've seen people online arguing over person-first language and it seems to depend on what the identity itself actually is. The only one of the phrases you mention that I've used before is 'has autism' and now that you've pointed it out, it sounds really odd so I won't be saying that anymore. Can I ask how you feel about people saying 'on the spectrum'?

I respect your identity, and your reasoning is interesting as you're right being autistic is not an illness. For me personally, I have cerebral palsy, and I would never want a word that just refers to cerebral palsy being used to refer to me, as to me, there are too many things that I consider to be more crucial to my identity than my cerebral palsy (which is quite low on the list of my personal qualities). So, I personally like person-first language, although I do understand your desire for the connotations of illness being removed from terms around disability. Thanks for discussing this :)

I once used a bathroom open to all, and in an effort to be accessible, it had grab bars on the wall - installed incorrectly!

Such a more respectful way to explain teachers that help people with disabilities! 😊

Ooh, that's a great one! I've been trying to figure out good alternate terms for SPED because it's really not great. I've been thinking about "Accessible Education" or "Accessible Education Teacher" because accessible is a word the majority of the disabled community agrees on.

I love that! Unfortunately at the school I attended, the goal was essentially teach to the test instead of actually helping the students develop and utilize tools for their education. If I were in school today, I most likely would be in a learning support program. I have psychiatric and sensory conditions that made attending school stressful to the point of trying to drop out, but because I was a straight-A student, I was not able to access any help.

@@nerdinadress5717 Yes! Especially because not everyone in that program is disabled. My mom works as an aid in a classroom with kids who have behavioral difficulties; while most have some sort of trauma (foster care, abuse, ect) very few of them have any sort of actual diagnosis from my understanding.

What are your opinions on the term "differently abled" for your kid? I know people have different opinions on it but it really rubs me the wrong way

Thanks :D

So bright. She looks like a red fox.

This is horrible! I’m in a masters of social work degree and this is not ok! In the US, this happened before the 1970’s and then when the 70’s came around, people with disabilities started speaking up about their rights. I highly recommend the documentary on Netflix called Crip Camp (Molly briefly talked about it in the video) if possible because it explains it so much better than I ever could. But, I’m glad you were able to take your son out of that environment. I hopped everything is going well enough considering the pandemic and I (as well as pretty much the whole world) hope this pandemic gets done soon! Love from, a future social worker and someone with disabilities. 💛

@@Kaye09MNchick it was still happening in the 90s. That's when I was in that facility. My parents just signed me over as a ward of the state and I never really saw them or my siblings much. Its weird I have this huge family but it wasn't until recently we began connecting. I didn't grow up alongside my siblings. Idk it's strange. I'm glad you're going into this line of work. This world and these kids need more advocates. The ways in which people like us get taken advantage of especially if we don't have family to scare the people in power into acting right is terrifying. Most of these facilities don't exist anymore thank God but there are still many. I wish you well in your journey!

I'm sorry your experience was so poor. I had a great experience in special schools. If they're done right they can focus on teaching students in a way that works best for their extra needs, teach them skills for life, and set them up for success. I went to schools that were primarily for children with autism, ADHD, and behavioral issues, and they actively taught communication skills, teamwork, empathy, and acceptance of others, all valuable skills that mainstream schools don't teach, at least not much, and largely probably don't need to. So many kids with extra needs are left in mainstream schools because they're "coping" even though they're not actually managing to learn anything. Ultimately, these things can be done right and they can be done wrong, it sounds like our experiences could hardly be more different, even if our schools might fall under the same category. My school was also a day school, which I think works better for most people.

And unemployed or poorly paid :(

And because the world is set up to make us fail

YES! It’s so expensive!! Thank you for this comment! Not a lot of people understand how expensive it can be to have disabilities. Even to just feel sort of comfortable. Thanks for this comment! 💛

I have CHD and I have to go to a lot of checkups and I'm lucky to have good health insurance and I would love to be a hairdresser but unfortunately they don't cover health insurance the same way and I don't want to spend so much just for my medical bills. As a kid my mom had to pick up a night job to pay medical bills when the economy was really bad. I hope it never gets bad when I get older

Sending you love and good vibes!!

@@MollyBurkeOfficial Thank you! You're so inspiring and I'm honoured you responded 😁

That is weird!! You should encourage them to change it and make both simply, "accessible" :)

@@MollyBurkeOfficial as soon as we get back to school 🤞I will

Thank you :)

@@MollyBurkeOfficial always :)

Love you molly

Where I'm from it's either called integration (if it's at a regular school or preparing for regular school) or special (if it's at a segregated school), and it's also questionable terminology, because integration makes it sound like the disabled student needs to change to conform and fit in and not like the school system needing to make accommodations for the disabled student to be able to thrive Even Specialised Education would be better than special education, still not really a good term, but a little better, or just call it Accessible Education or Adaptive Education, why do official documents still use such terrible language?

@@l.c.8475 Around here, it's called mainstreaming.

Yes! I wish they would change that as well same with of your have a disability oh are special needs I feel that it takes away from some students who only need accommodations and not so much special education classes and I know a lot of kids get hurt by being labeled this.

Our school district (unofficially) refers to the program as “Leaning Support & Learning Support Teachers”. I do wish the industry as a whole would adopt this term.

hahah omg really?!?! Ah, sorry!

@@MollyBurkeOfficial you don't speak as fast as some :)

@@sandieM27 yeah lol, you'd have to slow me down to like 0.25x 😂

@@JosephSeabourne my father tells me I speak too fast when I have a lot to say to someone, but I am sure I am not as fast as some I have heard on KZfaq :)

I like when people speak fast.

Aw, thank you!!!

Yes, there are a number of different angels and thoughts behind the word but like we said, what we do know is that in general, many people in the community don't like the word and that truly is the most important reason not to use it!

@@MollyBurkeOfficial, I agree. Thank you so much I love you and your content!

And what about in golf? ;)

@@MollyBurkeOfficial I don't know if this was intentional but I love how you said angels instead of angles

@@qkndc she does use voice typing so typos are expected 😂

Hey Ori!! Say hi to the bunnies for me!

@@MollyBurkeOfficial I will!

Aw, thanks love!!

Thanks for joining the Killer Bee Club!!

Thanks Cate!

That's horrible! :/

@@harveyabel1354 yep it’s so sad to think that instead of trying to understand their needs they just treated them as though they weren’t human because of their disability. It’s heartbreaking

And I LOVE your jumper in this ♡♡♡