"When angry count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred." -- Thomas Jefferson

I think Einzelgänger is a mind-reader, whenever I deal with a particular issue, he post a video on that topic right away. Blessed to have you in the KZfaq Philosophy Community. 🙏

Vegeta is a perfect example of this. Vegeta had above average skill level and constantly trained hard to get better. As powerful as he was he was held back by his anger. In his hard battles he often showed a hard outburst but always short lived and the calmer opponent won the fight. Goku was more relaxed and jovial in his day to day and took things less serious. Is why I believe he had more energy to put towards when it came time to fighting and training. Goku was the most powerful character because of this. If your body is always in fight or flight your brain is not able to put the same amount of energy on other things. Staying calm in the middle of a storm. Not letting the external affect your internal. Than your internal has more energy to put external. Great video as always. Many blessings to all 🙏🏾

I always feel awful and stupid when I have an anger outburst. I always regret I didn't handle it calmly. I feel out of control and stupid for letting someone push my buttons. The older I get, the more I feel so much better when I don't over-react in these situations. I feel better just walking away when I have the choice to do so. Wish I'd learned this long ago.

I let my anger out at my co worker once. I felt nothing but regret. Every time I get angry, I try to remind myself how I felt during that moment. Now, I have better control over it. In fact, I don't think I had an angry outburst since.

As an adult with ADHD, anger and I are old frenemies. Emotional disregulation is a demon we must wrestle with all our lives. * I actually like shooting my bow 🏹 as a stress reliever. I don’t see it so much as violence, but I picture it as holding something tight, like a negative feeling, and then releasing it.

A Vegeta appeared in the thumbnail... It's super effective!

I like anger. Not all the time, just every now and then. I think it’s part of being human. I try to channel my anger as motivation for working harder.

Not sure I particularly agree with everything said, my man. Personally I find that physical activities have made me better at regulating my emotions, particularly running. In essence, I find when I routinely incorporate these into my day, I rarely arrive at anger in the first place, and are more likely to approach stress with a sense of poise and reason. If I’m misled by the emotion, then again it returns me to my center, where I can dispel the emotion with logic and reason.

Anger is probably a surface symptom for something else. Oftentimes, this could be fear. Along with this, many other things.

Anger is one thing but it isn't healthy to keep bottling things up. Swearing (as long as it is not focussed at someone) has a number of benefits! Unexpressed anger breeds resentment. There is such a thing as healthy anger- telling people when they are taking the piss is important so that you aren't treated as a doormat.

Anger has always been a problem for me, I have calmed down over the years compared to my younger years, but it does come out now and then. Hearing the negatives about anger, I must add that it can sometimes be positive. Twice in my life, my life has been in danger, and my anger has saved my life. The first occasion was when a person ran up behind me as I was walking home in the early hours, with the intention of robbing me. He hit me over the head with a metal bar, then tried to stab me with a knife. He failed to fell me, I snatched the metal bar from him, and battered him until he was unconscious and bloodied, and no further threat to me. The second occasion was an industrial accident, where I was trapped under some very heavy machinery, had I not lost my temper, which gave me the strength to remove the machinery from off my body, then I would most likely had perished, as no-one else was around to help me. Sometimes anger saves life.

Burnout.. working non stop for 10-12-14-16-18 hrs can generate a short fuse as our capacity to take on additional stress is substantialy reduced. Thats why rest, meditation, breathing exercises, sleep, taking a naps just laying down and relaxing can reduce the sensitivity to stress from outside factors and increase our capacity to take on more stress

Sometimes in this world, if we dont get angry in some occasions people will take advantage of us. Anger is an emotion to be used wisely with control.

I have read in a psychology journal that venting reinforces our brain to get to a state that needs venting in the future because venting feels good. Almost like a smoker smoking cigarettes. They create an environment in their body that reinforces getting that fix.

If anger were solely negative and had no benefits, it would not exist according to evolutionary psychology. So I think it is necessary to understand anger in both a positive and negative way, and to learn to harness the positive aspects and control or eliminate the negative ones.

Freud also writes that blocked emotion, nevrosis can be released by humour. Laughter is just as relieving as anger and the better way.

I've been venting my anger my entire life. It really hurts my own self. Thank you man for posting this video. There's been certain times where I give in to my own anger, and I regretted it all. Theres nothing good in anger. And thats why today I will try my very best to live an anger free life.

Science actually backs physical release of intense emotions through things like exercise and cathartic yelling

Man I remember this guy with 80k subs …. Wild!

I’ve always been angry since I was a little child it’s all I know even around myself I don’t think venting it out ever helps But I also never knew how to not be angry I don’t have outbursts anymore it’s just all inside me not going away I will try meditation and mindfulness

In Buddhism they say like: those who fully come to terms with the fact of their eventual death, all their conflicts, enmities, resentments are silenced. Something like that. It is a profoundly liberating statement and simultaneously a very depressing one. Don't know which is more. Another brilliant and thought provoking video Einzelganger bro. Thank You.

"To be angry at others, you must first resist your own unpleasant feelings" - Hillside Hermitage

If you don't control your emotions, your emotions control you.

Letting anger out is something you should do very judiciously. There are times when nothing else will get the job done, sad though it may be. The trick is realizing that using anger to achieve your ends is the personal emotional equivalent of smashing the emergency glass. It should only ever be a last resort

As someone going through an anger filled situation right now, this video helped me a ton. I've been venting to my friends about it and it starts to make me angry all over again. It started to feel like a vicious cycle, I'm so glad I found this video.

I notice the media that portrays anger positive is action movies. In those movies and tv shows, direct confrontation is the solution. In other genres, anger produces mixed results.

I have always dealt with anger as long as I can remember, and I used to think that venting anger was the best way to deal with it (even psychiatrist recommended to me) but I can tell you that after screaming and shouting I always felt a deep feeling of regret and shame. Anger can make anyone do or say something that can seriously harm others and themselves, I can tell you that by experience. Overtime I believe I have made some progress and improvements in this area, it all comes down to the simple realization of "There is not a single problem that can be solved by anger, but any problem can be made worst by it".

I can only agree but it is very nuanced, expressing might look like venting but verbalizing without screaming helps me process things with reason and logic and find many times that ilogic thougths or expectations emerge from those bursts, allowing me to think beyond the moment and deal with the experience.

When anger swells I tell myself we’re all gonna die and return to the nothingness forever then everything seems trivial

Hi, I don’t know if you read all these comments, but I’ve found that exercise is a great way to deal with anger, frustration and anxiety. I try to exercise at least 30 min every day. It’s been shown that prehistorically, human beings used to be physically active all day long. It’s how we were meant to be. But now, we don’t. And so, our stress hormones build up instead of being used for what it was originally intended, which is to work out your stress hormones through physical activity.

Anger is nothing to be ashamed of. It comes from a place of wanting security and safety. Unhealthy anger is terrible though. The meditation book called 30 Days to Overcome Anger by Harper Daniels was helpful for me. Anger can be a great teacher if observed and not responded to with negativity.

A good quote my medic just told me. " It is perhaps most necessary to have patience whenever we do no want to have patience". I am trying to calm myself right now. Petty people with petty problems.

Letting anger out is something you should do very judiciously. There are times when nothing else will get the job done, sad though it may be. The trick is realizing that using anger to achieve your ends is the personal emotional equivalent of smashing the emergency glass. It should only ever be a last resort.

i found the idea that "there's no reason to be angry. anger betrays reason" interesting. i'd like to watch/read more content from this point of view

It is very different to move your energy to release it from having violent thoughts or intentions. As Bruce Lee says: Express with emotion, not with violence.

Maybe because of ADHD but for me without physical outlet it is difficult to calm down. Telling someone who will involuntarily throw next object to "just calm down" is like telling a bullet to "just stop". In my experience it is better to work on not getting angry over small things then at controlling the anger.

Whenever I feel like I'm gonna spill, I remind myself that my emotions are never a result of outside influences. If I ever do spill, I just say something super quick just to get it out and move on. I never dwell.

I love the Stoics - Seneca's essay on anger is fantastic, and Epictetus is incredibly compelling. Nonetheless, I also love Chekhov's beautifully presented criticism of the Stoics in 'Ward Number 6'. It's only a short story, but a very powerful one, and for me, it is the best argument against Stoicism. Have a read if you like to challenge your beliefs

A Vegeta thumbnail on an Einzelganger video? Today’s my lucky day

Since I'm early, let me take the time to thank you for all the marvelous insights you've given us over the years. It's very much appreciated. 👍👏🙏🙏

seeing this video felt so timely because i just listening to Marshall B. Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication series and he shared this belief that anger only leads to more violence, but i think his belief is that anger isn't a bad thing to experience inherently, but that it's a signal to oneself that a need of theirs is not being fulfilled, and they should take it as an opportunity to deconstruct that internally so they can later approach others in a more compassionate way

I have a feeling the need to vent anger is linked to desire for at least some control of the situation. It feels like an active response rather than passive acceptance. It might be that we feel it as a sign of weakness to not do anything, and so anger is deployed as a form of defense strategy (i.e. angry and strong > calm and weak). But clearly, as explained in the video, this strategy backfires.

I shouted a lot of angry things at my annoying neighnor from inside my apartment (hoping she would hear) for a year. Soon after I got some painful arthritis. Coincidence ?? idk.

This is a great topic. I've always been told to go workout or do something physical if I'm angry about something. I started linking those activities with my angry feelings and that bred more aggressive feelings. Talking through why I'm angry with someone or learning to put the anger into perspective in my mind seems to re-train my brain to go into calming mode instead of jumping to aggressive forms of venting.

Every time you lose it, you lose. Stay cool, calm & collect. Mae West said it best.

It's one thing to know that anger is bad, but another to actually control yourself in a tense situation.

Anger is important for ensuring boundaries are respected

How about dealing with anger by engaging in activities that require a lot of attention so you literally have to divert your attention from anger to something else? Like "Sorry, anger, I don't have time for you"

"Speak when you are angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret" idk who said that but 💯💯

This channel has helped me more than anything

I have a complicated history with anger. While I've been aware of the harmful nature of anger, I didn't know more about it until now. Thanks for posting!

Excellent video. I wonder if some of this can be extrapolated to other emotions like sadness or anxiety. It’s surprising how popular a therapist with a masters degree will tell you to hit a pillow. It’s no wonder why some things are the way they are, seems discouraging. I have found that knowing my suffering from anger is a choice, wanting not to have the feeling last more than it has too and manual labor help, along with music. I agree with the stoic and buddhist stance on the subject. Those two ways of thought, plus taoism, have helped me tremendously overcome my rage episodes. Taking that one second before reacting is practicing my freedom. As always, thank you for the video, I appreciate it.

I am a neuropsychologist and also just read this study....I LOVE it!!!! I share this with my students. Absolutely LOVE your channel and now I see you have many followers!!!! So happy for you!!!! I started listening to you from the beginning 😁 I tell all my students about your channel. You provide such excellent topics!!!! Thank you ever so much and have a splendid day 🌻

Can’t agree. Righteous anger is a powerful emotion to stop harm or evil.

agreed. anger should only be used for life threating situations or emergencies. most people abuse or overuse it with diminishing and detrimental effects. anger is a symptom of a problem that should be solved or avoided. my mother used this all the time on business and relationships, it only just drains her energy and easily forget the wrongdoings of her enemies and my father.

Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.

Also.. you shouldn't keep anger inside of you (according to science and philosophy). Moderation is the key.

I needed this. I’m a pretty calm person, but I have definite anger issues that I need to work on.

"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured" - Mark Twain. "Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools" - Ecclesiastes. "Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die" - Buddha.

Anger is probably my biggest personality flaw. I'm more patient, agreeable, and diplomatic than most. Once I lose control though, I'm a monster. I generally employ box breathing when I feel it coming. If that doesn't work, I remove myself from the situation to collect my thoughts. If I'm so angry I can't recenter myself, boxing and lifting weights never fail. Can't be angry if I'm exhausted.

I think it is more accurate to say that we should avoid "wrath" rather than anger itself. Anger is classified as one of the few basic human emotions in psychology, along with sadness, happiness, fear, surprise, and disgust. "Anger" is more accurately viewed as a feeling--rather than an action. It is what you do with that emotion that determines if it is healthy or not. So if you use your emotion of anger to inflict disorder in the world around you (considered wrath), that would be considered negative. But you can utilize your emotion of anger for positive things aswell. The video makes very valid points on the need to control anger, and this is expressed thoroughly in Buddhist philosophy. In Buddhism, when you feel anger it is considered the "first bullet" and this is unavoidable for everyone, but when you take this anger and cause inappropriate chaos, that is considered the "second bullet." It is within our grasp to control and even eliminate this "second bullet." Some examples of "good" anger include Ghandi's peaceful protest, MLK peaceful protest, and even Jesus' anger in the temple. To eliminate anger is asking to eliminate a basic human emotion, which is to reject an aspect of the humanity that lives in you. It is thus more important to learn how to control and direct it to more productive avenues. TLDR: Anger = human emotion and often necessary. Need to learn how to control and use rather than "avoid." Wrath = negative expression of anger; bad and should be avoided. (what the video is more specifically referring to)

This was interesting and I learned something very useful. I am old but when I was young I thought Freud was full of crap. I did not know, however, that venting anger could be bad. Everyone, everywhere said it was good to get it out. Being old, it takes to much of my valuable energy to be angry. I don't like to vent anymore and I do feel more peaceful. From now on I will let all anger go like a balloon. This video is very very helpful. Thank you!!!

I'm very emotional and I used to have a lot of problems controlling my anger (especially with my family, my partner, etc.) in certain situations, but even if I vented in my room or somewhere that I wasn’t hurting anyone (throw a pillow) it would only make it harder to control next time. At some point I realized that the best way to dealing with anger was just letting the feeling pass without doing anything. Now I don’t get angry as often and when I do rarely feel the need to raise my voice and much less vent, I just recognize that something in the situation is upsetting me and I try to deal with it the best than I can.

Ironically, I see this video after quitting my job for this same reason. Thank you for the info 🙏 really appreciated.

What you are saying is 100% true. Outward venting of anger is destructive in every sense. How many children have lived through a childhood of house hold anger only to turn that learned behavior on themselves. Now that is truly tragic.

Whenever i feel sudden anger arising in me, instead of directing it to someone or myself, I write it out or type it out on my phone. “I am so angry right now!” “I am so angry with so and so at the moment!” “Why am i feeling so angry…maybe its because…” are some of the things i write right away and that immediately activates my frontal cortex and get me out of my primitive/narcissistic limbic system. I recommend it to everyone ❤ Peace ❤

For me, anger and shame have been dancing intimately all my life.

I'd love to experience anger as a normal person. Could probably work on it then but for someone depressed and stuck in their head anger is like a best friend handing you a gun with the confidence to end it all. It shortcircuits your mind, there's no point in tackling the anger at the point cause it's just woken up a worse demon for you to contend with - suicide.

I think all the points you have made, using a these narrative driven points are missing something that unhinges them. From what I’ve come to understand is that feelings are feelings, they are all equally valuable, the moment we place value on them(be it “good feeling” or “bad feeling”) we become blind to their mechanistic purpose. The more we think anger is bad, the more we avoid it, the more unfamiliar we are with being able to recognize why it is their and how to deal with it, work with it. Cold showers are not as difficult when you take them frequently. Frustration is different from Anger, anger is different from rage, rage is different from contempt. Each is a progression from a LACK OF PROPER ACTION, not action it’s self. Anger is a precipitation of proper action. The action is up to you but it builds pressure for you to to have momentum to step forward on solving a problem, that step could be as simple as saying I’m not happy about this, your words hurt and I don’t know what to say, it could be anger at yourself for not knowing what to do. This is why, hitting things, hard exercise and all that sillyness doesn’t work, you expended energy on not overcoming yourself to over come the probes you are angry about. As much as I have studied stoicism and Buddhism and loved it, there is alot of spiritual bypassing in both, as well as a lot of philosophy and religion, Science proves what you want it to prove nowadays, just like religion and philosophy, the truth is looked at like an anomaly and then it is put to the side because it’s uncomfortable.

anger is a defense mechanism to a weakness. that weakness is pain. we all feel angry because we were hurt or offended.

I really hope many people watch this video

Forever count ur words before spitting them out - I came off some heated words .. all I could do was listen & be quiet, could not reason. And there I was ! 😮

This is profound. Thank you, Eisenganger. I have been jogging for over 30 years and for a long time, I get angry basically every time. Have stopped coffee before, and tried different strategies, and there are issues occurring that are not being dealt with , but there is always something that triggers me. I am by myself, so rarely seen, but really shocks me how aggressive I can internally feel. I used to be a Pilates and Yoga instructor, so I imagine I had counterbalanced the jogging before. I am female, and never been an angry type (fearful for sure) until age 40 or so. The options you give sound really doable. Thank you!

Thanks for this. Been going through so much anger from betrayal, hardships, victimhood mentality and been venting it out to my partner. I started to STOP venting and complaining to save my relationship. To summarise, things have been a lot better now and calmer.

Only time I felt anger rise to a super high level, was at school and the school bully was chipping away. After one little encounter where i remained steadfast, as he walked away i took some deep calming breaths. A fellow student who was petrified of the bully asked me about it, about me deep breaths. I told him, he wants a fight and i am not willing to give him one but i wont back down either and so i need to remain calm and the breaths help... But i would get agitated driving on the road until one day while at a set of light that would take me 3 changes to get through, upon the green way way way ahead the woman in front started throwing her arm up and gesturing and shouting to the cars so very far ahead, they weren't moving quick enough. I realised then, her anger came from her inability to control the elements of her trip and that meant the other drivers. And i realised something else, the danger of superimposing my driving experience onto others, and that wherever I am going will still be there. And i would rather people drive within their skills than exceed those skills and crash, even if their skills almost cause crashes. And as i cannot control any other driver, i should go with the flow, like a cork bobbing on the water as a river takes it down stream. And from that moment, i have never angered again behind the wheel. Cut me off? Figures. Don't see me? Figures. Zip in and out? Figures and clearly hasn't done the math and how little that will gain them. Lane ending and want to squeeze where there is no gap? Figures, there you go, come in and be gone from my space. I now drive like a retired person with zero sense of urgency and it is so peaceful.

I’m so grateful that you make captions for these videos.

Anger is imperfect hate Embrace hate and anger melts away, is excercised Anger just happens to you, but hate is a part of who you are We all hate something, in a way thats deeply personal Lying about it to yourself creates anger

Very true. When I was much younger, I used to deal with anger by driving fast on a car/motorcycle. As the years passed on , I became slower but I still needed the drive to blow off steam. Turns out that I was meditating while driving while observing the beauty of nature while doing so. It was never the thrill of speeding and weaving, but it was a way to escape the situation and the triggers of me bursting to a place where I can collect my thoughts and be calm.

"The intoxication of anger, like that of the grape, shows us to others, but hides us from ourselves" - Colton.

I believe maybe in a possible middle way. A way wherein anger isn't ignored and bottled up into resentment, and isn't capable of growing into a full-blown forest fire. Like idk, sometimes we can't really just ignore how angry we feel and set it aside, but neither should it uncontrollably explode.

Dealing and facing anger is to treat it with peaceful understanding why you are angry. Thank you..the world should watch thus video

❤❤❤ You won't believe how much I needed this video - right now! Thank you so much.

I try to use the negative energy that anger provides me with to do productive tasks. I'll work out or go for a brisk walk to release the desire to be physical while thinking through whatever it is that has me so angry. It doesn't always work because I can't always drop what I'm doing to exercise, but I have found that it helps.

First of all the most important thing is the circumstances which we live in, in today's world you can't be a monk where everyone is trying to abuse you, you have to react so that they don't do it again

I enjoy the increasing quality of video production 😁

I have always had a temper. At its worst in my early teenage years I thought I found release in playing football and "moshing" to heavy metal music. While those releases were temporarily satisfying, the feelings still persisted. But when I changed "moshing" to relaxing dancing to hippy music, the release became endearing and ultimately fulfilling. This may seem a subtle difference, but the significant difference was I was experiencing positive emotions. I owned a Jack Russell terrier, a dog that had a TON of energy. One way or another I had to do something active with him daily or else he would release his pent up energy in destructive ways. But part of the key was to do positive activities with him so he was happy while releasing that pent up energy. So there is something to the need for "release" for some people, I think the trick is that that release should be a positive experience in itself.

Anger, a rabbit hole we pull one another into, that is actually a bottomless pit.

Anger, as long as it isn't turned outward, is a catalyst for change. Fuel.

That’s a lifetime work, you simply can’t decide that from now on you’ll be calm…lots of inner healing to be done over the months and years or even decades

Good reminder, thanks. Read some vipassana books some years ago that used a fire metaphor. First you light yourself on fire with the emotion, then you spread it to others by venting on them. Makes sense that not being on fire would actually help the situation, not turning up the heat. This will take some practice :)

We shouldn't suppress or avoid feelings of anger. Anger is usually covering another feeling or emotion like humiliation, dissapointment, grief, annoyance that must be addressed. I think we should be ok with feeling upset and not feel shame or treated as inferior for experiencing it. Stoics are anti negative feelings because the appearance of calm is what makes them feel in control. We learn how to express anger with our upbringing as we see our parents deal with it. Also, it is very naive to say anger is always explosive. Look around you and see how many people are angry but don't express it. They walk with anger, and then later manifests in physiological and health problems. Anger must be addressed and processed. It must be transformed into clarity and positive action or resolution. Meditating and doing yoga is a temporary fix and distraction from what makes the person react in anger. If you don't question it and transform it, you will be doing meditation and downloading mindful apps for life. Im dissapointed that the only solution in this video is meditation and yoga.

When I feel particularly angry, I tend to sort of vent to myself whether out loud or in my head in the privacy of my room so that over some time I've blown off some steam without unnessecarily hurting anyone by either physically or verbally using them as a punching-bag (I've only lost my temper only very few times throughout my life before, but I'm afraid of allowing my emotions to blind my judgement and lead me onto a irreversable path of self-destruction) nor keeping all of my strong emotions bottled up untill they explode, so far it has consistently been of great help to me, being able to nagivate through difficult external an/or internal circumstances through self-love and self-reflect plus using your feeling and thinking side in tandem can really get anyone far with or without outside-support.

I have manic-depression. Mania can be wild excitement or it can be deadly rage. I have destroyed machinery and tortured animals (this, anymore, makes me SICK to think I once did) and pulled weapons on folks. I've been in jail twice for exploded rage. Displaced anger -a.k.a. -the pecking order -has a LOT to do with this. Now, I am away from the source of the anger -an abusive family -and haven't lost my temper since November of 2018. I haven't threatened physical harm against anyone since June of 2010. Medicine and counseling and old age have all calmed me down. The other part of manic-depression -depression itself -is still very much with me. I have suicidal despairs. One thing that has helped control the anger is a positive outlook. I try to see the good things about people rather than the bad. Oh, I know that there are many bad things in life, but I focus on the good. Another thing is to avoid negative influences; e.g., my brother's fists. Akh, life is WONDERFUL!

I had in mind venting was talking about your emotions and talking about what makes you angry so you can calm down and figure out a solution to the triggers. If venting is letting out things in outbursts, it definitely does more harm than good. It doesn't help much either. I would rather figure out my emotions than take them out on anything else.

Incredibly helpful as always. Accessible, profound insights with top-shelf video and script editing. Absolute respect for viewer time, but more than that. I'm talking myself into a tshirt purchase

Thank you so much for making this video. Really shines a different light on how to deal with Anger.

What a valid and well put perspective on anger. I really needed this today dealing with an angry coworker. Thank you 🙏 everyone be well.

" despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage " Smashing pumpkins. 1990's. Just watched this for a second time. Thank you so much for your efforts!

The Timing timing timing! Of this release! Thank you!