Not matter the amount of due diligence a man conducts in the courtship process, women will always remain a role of the dice. So it's important to approach relationships like one would approach gambling. And the fundamental rule of gambling is never to bet with more than you can afford to lose. This is essential to keep in mind when dealing with women not only because all relationships eventually end but because they typically don't end equally. Over a long enough time line, the house always wins. Smart gamblers prepare against this eventuality. Pre-order my book: amzn.to/3UlsTsY Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/jdiIdd2Cl66odYU.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: kzfaq.info/love/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #dating #marriage #women

I've always said dating/relationships are the only gamble where you lose over and over and over, but people will still tell you to keep trying.

"it's important to protect your heart". Absolutely spot on. This is why the "good guy" after a few bad relationships will eventually become the "bad guy". And yet women ask: "where have all the good men gone."

Orion: "You should approach women like you approach gambling". Me: I don't do gambling. Got it.

"Know when to walk away. Know when to run."

First part of the tsunami joke is “when they come, they’re wet and wild” Brilliant advice sir

Al Bundy said to Steve "You're a married man, we all gamble".

"Women are like a game that's hard to win, and men, like fools, never get tired of playing" - a Brazilian song =)

Gents , remember to take the trash out when it starts to smell.

Getting into a relationship has always been a gamble. What changed is that stakes went WAY up. Especially with modern anti-family courts. The most sadistic of rapists in modern society sit in these courtrooms and they're neither in prosecution nor defense.

WOW!!! As a professional Gambler - I would like to say - This is 100% CORRECT!

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." (Proverbs 4:23)

I've always found casinos to be a waste of my time and resources. Thanks for putting things into perspective.

Number one rule of gambling… never risk something you can’t afford to lose.

Women have always been a gamble, the issue is that the rewards are no longer worth the risk.

You know marriage is a bad prospect for men when some women are even telling men not to get married.

Patrice O'Neal said something similar years ago. If you give 100% and she leaves you are left with/at 0 so you have to hold 10% back. So you have something to build on moving forward.

This quote from CS Lewis might not directly contradict you, but it's on quite a different note: "There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."

Over time, the casino will always win.

Man here. I have gone emotionally "all in" twice, and let me tell you, you really do have a finite reserve for that. Not only does the end of the relationship devastate you and mess up your life for a year or more, it can cause more or less permanent changes in the way you view relationships, and it makes it harder to ever commit in the future. Personally, I feel like I have one more full commit in me and do not think I would be even be physically capable of fully committing again beyond that if it didn't work out. A safer bet is to find someone you LIKE who is also stable and REASONABLE. Love is great while it's there, but the fallout can be permanently damaging.

Orion has the best analogies for every teaching. Love this man!

the three laws of thermodynamics for gamblers: 1. you can't win 2. you can't break even 3. you can't stop playing the game (unless you start out at absolute zero)

12 months?? In my experience crazy can hide out at least 2 years..

As a professional gambler, I attest that you are spot on!

100% agree. In Mexico, where i lived as a child and teen, they used to say "a las mujeres, ni todos el amor, ni todo el dinero" (transl: to women, neither all the love nor all the money"). I followed this advice in my early 30's, and I can tell you, it is accurate as per my life experience and that of my mates with what has happened in our relationships. I wish i had heeded it earlier, yet i am now still in one piece and in peace now nearing my 50's. Nowadays, I have no desire at all to have a woman around or orbiting. Once the hunger of the instinct is under control, there are very few upsides to be closely associated with a woman. I live quite content alone.

This is a real case for not taking women seriously.😂

Wait until you’ve taken each other down from that pedestal.

'A person can go all-in emotionally a few times in their life' ... isn't that the truth. But there are necessary lessons to be learned in every failure... to become the person you were meant to be. I am most grateful to those women who helped me discover myself. Great video!!

This is such a good analogy, but once You are emotionally involved it's hard to SEE the relationship objectively

It is/was a roll of the dice for both of us. I went all in with 100K and my husband-to-be went all in with 100K. Bought a house. Had a kid. I stayed in my lane. He stayed in his lane. But always moving together in the same direction. Best roll of the dice ever.

Best advice I've heard, especially regarding acceptable loss.

It is not about having disagreements it is how adult/emotionally mature you are to handle the differences. yes, everything changes. if you constantly suspect your loved one then you will bring on exactly what you fear the most. and, yes, relationships end. love lasts forever.

This video might be the best general advice I’ve heard in my life, am 39 with a lot of experience

6:06 "Trust me, you don't have unlimited emotional resources. it's very difficult. If not functionally impossible to go all in emotionally more than a few times in your life." wow... You blew my mind.

So true. I went all in on my first relationship and 10years later i say it was the most traumatic thing i experienced in my life. When my parents go , i don’t know if it will destroy me as much as

That’s also the first rule of investing and one of the most true statements to ever be made

The house always wins... Then she took the house

when you're learning how to gamble it helps to keep monks in mind. this lets you think "oh, right. there are men that are perfectly happy not playing games with women."

I'm all set on feeling the feelings. I've gone all in to many times. Wish I heard this advice decades ago. I'll never go all in again

Pookie and ray ray are tireless 😊

Damn! Orion's analogies are freakingly amazing! Never gonna forget this one!

There definitely is a way around: when you treat relationships not only as merely transactional but also creatively (two people growing together). Then the other party stops to be a roll of dice but rather your relationship becomes a shared project, say garden. You're still not 100% sure of the outcomes but you may influence them to a high extent. Also, you can continuously reassess what portion of yields (all coming ON TOP of what you had) is reinvested as seeds, what is consumed and what is divided. Consequently, the vetting is rather for the ability to share and grow rather than to fulfill the evolving needs, which indeed is foolish.

The pain that you feel is the love that you withhold.

I can vouch for the truth in the emotional loss. I needed this advice as a kid. I already knew this, the hard way.

Speaking of my experience after forty years of marriage- true knowledge of your spouse is impossible, and you can end up, in her affections, rather far down the queue, after family and even best friends. Marriage has its limits.

All men and women in every state should be required to pass a test in order to receive a “marriage” license BEFORE they can legally marry. That test should include the financial repercussions of divorce(alimony/child support), exactly how it is calculated, and how the law treats child custody. AT THE MINIMUM.

Yeah, I was blessed with that understanding about "Protecting your heart" in my teen years! I had a girlfriend and abviously i went AAALLLL IN, emotionally!!! And then, abviously, she left... and my heart was broken! I noticed, that I gave her some little peace of my heart that I CAN'T GET BACK!!! Time doesn't heal shit... If before that girl i had 100% of my heart belonging to me, now I only have like 98%... and that 2% never coming back. If you have like 3 or 4 long term partners and you gave each of them a peace of your heart - you'll be devestated, heartless and bitter by the end of the day! o_O

This is why, even though it hurts being lonely at times, I’ve refused every opportunity for even a casual relationship that’s come my way. After looking everything over I can never seem to justify the potential rewards over the extremely high risk, especially with the way the world is today.

Male here. I love love, kindness, acts of service, sex, etc and I believe that relationships can achieve a level beyond this mortal coil and weather storms of great magnitude but unfortunately, this “gambling” parable in regards to relationships is very accurate and it’s very sad that the level of difficulty to get to that type of relationship goes up and up and up with all the influences around that constantly degrade relationships that otherwise could be wholesome and unbreakable.

Really appreciate this gambling analogy as it is spot on. Unfortunately, for most good men, the standard of keeping a commitment found in the pledge of " for better or worse" is the trap that takes men into living lives of disturbing desperation. It binds us to our word, our bond, even though coals of fire are heaped upon us. We're it not for the pain, we would feel nothing. Therein lies the trap. If we undo the bond, we move to a new level of pain that eventually drains any aspect of what we once possessed.

The other rule of gambling is "pick the bets where the odds are in your favour but appear to be the other way around" - i.e. a "sucker bet".

Banger. Dealing with women is EXACTLY like gambling

The thing about 'Going All In', yes it took me more than 7 years to get back on my feet from that, the damage is just too damn much, now i am strong Enough to go all in again, the low was so low, but it makes me cherish the highs more, and i ask myself "isn't this what makes life beautiful, like michael scott says I'm ready to get hurt again? ", but i don't think it is worth it if it effect everything i do and everything that is around me.

The biggest risk in a long-term relationship is the other person changing in a way you don't like. My experience is the clues are there early, even while you're dating. But the volume is turned down so low you can barely perceive them.

Never commit to a creature that can legally destroy you on a whim.

Every word spoken here is pure GOLD, a BIG thank you to Dr Orion for your service to Mankind

“There’s only so many times you can go all in” I needed to hear that, as I walk shoulders high out of a 2nd divorce. The poet in me may not have any more lines to ink on the paper of life.

Keep the “kitty” separate. Truest pun ever.

I tend to be "all or nothing" in most of the things I do. I've been heartbroken a couple of times. Tend to hold back more these days. Especially in a world where women have all the options.

The more attracted you are, the more your perception becomes distorted. Very true - for women and life in general.

And all you have to lose is absolutely everything material, spiritual, emotional and psychological.

Start early with diversified investments in stocks, bonds, and real estate. Maximize contributions to tax-advantaged accounts like 401(k)s and IRAs. Regularly review and adjust your strategy to ensure security.

the moment he introduced his explanation, to treat dating like gambling, the thoughts is: like a vice? to be avoided to remain virtuous?

This is an amazing perspective on that. I've always "felt the 12 months" rule in my gut just because you have to go through all the holidays/family dynamics to be sure, but you really lay it out in excellent logical fashion here. 100% agree with the cautionary approach. Also it struck me on the "one can only go all in emotionally a few times" in their life - that hit home, because I'm really on the fence on going all in ever again because that's about where I'm at but - maybe that's a GOOD thing this time.

Only one rule that matters. DONT GAMBLE.

As usual doc is on point....

I'm one of those "all in" kind of guys. It is about chasing an emotional high, he's absolutely right. You want to feel "whole" or "complete". Would probably explain my string of toxic relationships

Damn this was good. You gotta know when to hold em… yall know the lyrics. I appreciated this throughly. Thank you

You'd be right about emotion. I never thought of it like that. Kudos

The first rule of gambling: do not gamble.

What an awesome video. So much wisdom packed into 10 minutes. So true to guard your heart as a man. One of Orions other videos on how players are born shows what happens when you don’t guard your emotions as a man. Vetting is extremely important but in the end it is the roll of the dice. My wife and I just celebrated our 25 year anniversary and looking back of course there are moments when either one of us could have called it quits. Fortunately we continued to grow together and that was because of our committment. Vet her family. Make sure you like them and they like you. Extremely important. Maybe early on or if you have a conflict with her family it can validate you if she picks you over her family but long term that is a disaster. One of the things that will help keep the 2 of you together is if you and her both think again about quitting the relationship because of how much their family will be disappointed to lose you, etc. The family and community rooting for and protecting your relationship is key long term.

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away, and know when to run.

Probably the best video you have made. Thankyou.

Great advice, especially the emotional component!

"You've got to know when to hold 'em Know when to fold 'em Know when to walk away And know when to run" The Gambler Song by Kenny Rogers

So much knowledge dropped in this video. I think just me reframing dating as a hiring process alone has completely changed my perspective on dating. That fact will help me stay in my authenticity and really figure out if they're meeting my needs before giving them too much. Thanks, Dr. Orion.

I don’t think only dating women is a gamble… I think any and every romantic relationship is a gamble for both sides!!!!

I CANNOT WAIT TO READ YOUR BOOK

Another masterpiece from Orion. Thumbs up

In my experience, the second a woman detects anything other than stoicism, they bolt. They like the challenge of getting an emotional rise. Once achieved, the game (the job?) is no longer interesting.

Typo in the thumbnail. Great episode as always!

Wisdom. Attend.

Thank you. Always great looking forward your book.

With a few minor edits, I think Kenny Rogers had it nailed....

You don’t know anything about women until you have been cheated on AND you’ve been the other guy.

Why don't I hire Orion? Because when I hang up the phone I'm still going to be me

I've given both of my exes everything and I'm glad I did. I was able to take care of the women I love and help them... and that's a good thing.

the best advice anywhere.....the gamble analogue is spot on....

I believe marriage is more akin to investing than gambling. While gambling is a zero-sum game, investing our resources wisely creates compounding value for all stakeholders. A poor investment with questionable people can lead to disaster. Similarly, investing well in your marriage and family creates lasting value that can be passed down through generations. Choose your investments wisely.

Having breakfast while listening to this episode ✨☕👌

This is also same when my daughter told me about investment. She said mama invest in what you can afford to loose 😊. The most courageous thought of a young woman who just starting in digital games that was year 2021 .

Great talk, one of the best I've heard!

I’m coming to the realization that even though it’s a gamble and, yes I’m going to pay dearly, I’ve still got two children out of the deal which are priceless. You could argue they will turn out to be this way and that, but I’ll tell you they’ll be better off with me when they discover who their mother really is -when they’re old enough to see the evidence.

As a woman… a man is a gamble too…. Who is he really? How do you know he is not a jerk…. A long term relationship is a gamble or a leap of faith…. I was recently married…. But before marriage…. I told him point blank…. I if he turned into an asshole, I’d be done. Just treat me well…. Support me emotionally…. And work. I am the more financially secure in this relationship… and I insisted on a prenup to protect both of us…. So far we are great! And initially he was the adorer…. But I believe I am now his adorer…. It changed…. And leaves me a bit more vulnerable…. But so far he is worth it.

Don't be too quick to lay your hands down and reveal what you have. Always be wise and hold that ace of spades. When I was younger, I remember this friend of mine told me the way to get a man to do anything for you is to flatter him. Work on his ego, she said. She says the more you butter him up, the more you tell him he's so great ,he'll do anything for you, and she says even if you have to lie. I was shocked. I said to her, "How dishonest is that!! But she didn't seem to care. I just couldn't do that because it wasn't my personality. My aunt always told me to marry a rich man , not worry about love. I thought that was crazy and so she married a rich man and she had the worst marriage ever. They constantly fought every single day, but yet he made tons of money working for the government.

Very good and true analogy! I have not heard it described like this before.

I agree with 12 mo. rule for both parties.

There is a saying "Love lives for 3 years" so making some kind of proposals before that time is just stupid!!! Duringthese 3 years time she will show you everything you need to know to make a smart decision!

Wow, this seems to address some question(s) from an earlier video. Much appreciated, and well timed sir.

Excellent video as always! Thanks!