I'm Not Attracted to My Spouse | The Naked Marriage Podcast | Dave and Ashley Willis
Рет қаралды 16,196
Күн бұрынThis episode marks a new season of topics inspired by Dave and Ashley's upcoming book, The Counterfeit Climax. We'll be exploring different aspects of sex and marriage starting with this topic of what to do in marriage when physical attraction no longer feels present.
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@michaelfarley1515 2 жыл бұрын
Attraction is a function of how we show up in our relationships. Requires open and honest communication.
@Adria63 2 жыл бұрын
40 years of covenant marriage and my hubby has never said "You are pretty". Ever! Ugh! But...God has shown me how dear and loved I really am by Him! I turn this over to God! Love y'all and what you're doing for the Kingdom!
@daniellamoreno3616 2 жыл бұрын
Aww maybe he has different love language?
@myworldwithanimals2915 2 жыл бұрын
I totally get what your saying. Even though it would be wonderful to have our spouse's encouraging words, God sees the beauty in you and fills the void where it may be lacking in your marriage. For the record, as a I sister in the Lord, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
@missNCW 2 жыл бұрын
@@daniellamoreno3616 but, he can still tell his wife she’s pretty in a period of 40 yrs
@stevek3666 Жыл бұрын
@@missNCW maybe he never got what he wanted so he settled for less.
@margaritacpena 2 жыл бұрын
Needed to hear this. My husband adores me and I feel guilty because sometimes I am not attracted to him like he is with me. I will work on doing better because I am committed to him. Thank you 😊 for ❤sharing. God bless
@kenandrieling5885 2 жыл бұрын
If I were him and I heard this I would leave you
@rebeccaoprea9917 2 жыл бұрын
You’re not alone .
@rebeccaoprea9917 2 жыл бұрын
@@kenandrieling5885 why ? She’s being honest .
@kenandrieling5885 2 жыл бұрын
@@rebeccaoprea9917 I only want to be with a women who truly desires me.
@michaelfarley1515 2 жыл бұрын
You cannot negotiate genuine, burning desire.
@daniellamoreno3616 2 жыл бұрын
I was once like this but,God changed something in the both of us. Then as crazy as it sounds I had a separation from my husband for a while and now we're back together and things are better than they ever were!
@Tony_basketball 10 ай бұрын
Got back with my wife earlier this year after a year in a half of being separated. She says I turned into a amazing husband but that she feels 0 for me 😢
@ingridcuero9652 2 жыл бұрын
Hello, I’m not married right now but I wanted to know what a healthy marriage looked like so I started listening to this podcast. Thank y’all for doing this.
@voiceofthebeloved5532 Жыл бұрын
Do not marry someone who you are not attracted to or expect them to change in marriage. What you see is what you get 99% of the time . I highly advise against settling you will be sad . Choose well . Also singleness is a blessing.
@elizabethbronson1126 Жыл бұрын
My sweet husband now answers the phone to my call saying hi, beautiful. Honestly it has made him more attractive to me ☺️
@amyburton1225 2 жыл бұрын
I was made to feel unattractive because of his lust for other women....
@Tspaulding80 2 жыл бұрын
I've tried to tell my husband the specific things that turn me off and I've said it in a respectful, kind way, and instead my husband takes it as an attack and gets defensive.
@ItsAshley08 2 жыл бұрын
Same here.
@rosemarysantos5216 2 жыл бұрын
Loved this! Great advise on such a hard topic. Thank you guys! We must stay grounded in Gods word and may you continue to be guided through Him. God bless you! 🤗
@tamikocornelious3095 2 жыл бұрын
This was very good and encouraging!!! May God continue to work through you guys, allowing you to create this amazing content that is very much needed!!!! 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽
@tonniareed8631 2 жыл бұрын
This is awesome and truly speaks to me. I have struggled with this myself lately. Thank you for your advice.
@stephdoza901 2 жыл бұрын
Really great, in a loving way is so hard. I’ve been praying when I want to speak truth and just to be gentle spirit about it. Timing is everything too, God showed me that the right moment can make all the difference
@johnmathews2022 2 жыл бұрын
Say 10 good things 1 bad thing. Best thing I learned in college.
@rebeccaoprea9917 2 жыл бұрын
I think people get comfortable and let themselves go .Or many times they get in a rut and don’t have to support to get out.
@nicolepatrick-eason4402 2 жыл бұрын
Powerful response to the question. Often times my spouse doesn't desire to look at their wrongs to change for the better....just excuse them and overlooks, downplays the conflict.
@courtneykirk478 2 жыл бұрын
Excellent!! Thank you!!
@arexec1 2 жыл бұрын
Lots of Wonderful, deep, practical wisdom
@kittandkaren Жыл бұрын
The little foxes that add up quickly. Thank you for this. Sharing
@eugenemabika4154 2 жыл бұрын
Good stuff 🤠
@hannahgallifrey 2 жыл бұрын
I’d say you probably shouldn’t make yourself attractive to be loved but so your spouse will feel loved.
@sitka49 2 жыл бұрын
You can love your neighbor you can love your dog you can love chocolate you can love beautiful mountain scenery But I don't know if romantic love and attraction are the same especially in a marriage. I know people that have gotten married just out of convenience for comfort, companionship, security but they don't love them in a physical way, And they can tolerate being physical with their partner in the beginning at least, but years later it becomes a struggle and usually you don't see it for 10, 15, 20 years into a marriage, that's when reality comes in. That's where I think one of the partners was fooling themselves to think they had attraction towards their partner in the beginning but really didn't. Then resentment builds and then after a while it become a sexless marriage, and everybody's frustrated. But I do believe there has to be at least a particle of sexual attraction in the beginning or I feel the relationship is doomed. I don't think attraction can be forced it's like trying to be attracted to the same sex when you're not, or vice versa. There's an old saying that says men are looking for sex and they find love and women are looking for love they and find sex I don't know if this applies to this but I always thought it was interesting
@stevek3666 Жыл бұрын
Finally someone with sense.
@gennykeling4255 2 жыл бұрын
I would say to the woman that called in was a question during Q&A time prayerfully make sure she is listening to her husband's heart and validating what he is sharing with her. I will be praying for them.
@nicolepatrick-eason4402 2 жыл бұрын
I wish this could be communicated to my spouse without a incoming argument on the arisen.
@Nirvanaty4J 2 жыл бұрын
How can I leave a Review? Dear D&A, do comments here count as such? Please let us know! Thank you for what you do!
@davidcross2341 2 жыл бұрын
My wife is not in love with me or does she find me attractive. It broke my heart the first time I heard her say that. I miss treated her while in the hospital after a rather large back fusion from T2-T12. I don't remember or know what I said or how I her treated her. I was under anesthesia and pain meds that I don't remember. Anyway, she is still mad at me and is holding a grudge and animosity towards me. I still don't know what I did or say.
@colinbirnie6537 2 жыл бұрын
GOD BLESS YOU BROTHER! I'M GOING THROUGH THE SAME SITUATION, PRAY FOR HER ALL THE TIME, BE THE BEST YOU THAT YOU CAN BE.
@tabbypanda82 2 жыл бұрын
Hopefully she won’t stay married to you for to much longer🚶🏾♀️🚶🏾♀️🚶🏾♀️🚶🏾♀️ STOP BEING OBTUSE
@roxanneshumate2575 2 жыл бұрын
Does Dave have any brothers? 😂😂😂 loved this podcast ❤❤❤
@paulosei-bonsu9290 2 жыл бұрын
😂
@anastasiajohnson2139 2 жыл бұрын
My husband and I both change our kids diapers. We are both parents to our kids. I was surprised to hear that the host was doing that to please his wife. Like this is generally HER responsibility. Am I the only one who noticed? I realize that the podcast is not about parenting etc. but I can’t really praise my husband for doing what I do every day.
@yvainerasmus3777 Жыл бұрын
So I have had many medical issues that has made me fat...my foot is not well....I have depression....my husband not attracted to me...
@stephanegregoire6658 2 жыл бұрын
Feleting tgis
@AshleyBohaa 2 жыл бұрын
Currently my husband refuses to cut his hair. I have never been attracted to men with long hair and I think its gross. I told him it makes him unattractive to me but he doesn't care. He says he likes it. Im so frustrated about this.
@natalieledford3262 2 жыл бұрын
I am dealing with 100% the same situation. My mom told me I just need to pray about it, hoping he’ll have a change of heart
@santino5873 2 жыл бұрын
Instead of praying about it why don't you take him to a hair salon to give a cut and style, learn to adapt to like it? If not then move on, another woman will come to love it.
@ernestgillam9992 2 жыл бұрын
It is his hair and its important that he likes how he looks. Please don't take away his right to groom his own hair. Don't let your feelings over this menial thing jeopardize your marriage. Somethings we just have to accept because everything is not going to be the way we want it. Can we still love our spouses when we don't get our way?
@AshleyBohaa 2 жыл бұрын
@@ernestgillam9992 My husband hates short hair on women. I would NEVER cut my hair short because he would for sure hate it. I decided to grow my hair out and not color it anymore, embrace my gray which he was all for, and I cut extra off because I was trying to cut off as much of the damaged bleached hair I could. It was still past my shoulders a few inches but he kept saying it was so short and wouldn't stop complaining about it. Now it's grown out longer and he loves it. I just wish he would care the same about what I like. He says he will cut it when he gets down to a certain weight but he isn't making any real changes that will result in weight loss. 🙄 I told him I'm going to stop feeding him. He also keeps saying he is worried if he cuts it off it won't grow back. 😆 I guess that's legit guy fear.
@AshleyBohaa 2 жыл бұрын
@@natalieledford3262 I feel your pain sister 😢.
@treeknome2642 2 жыл бұрын
I feel like their body language and even how they talk to each other is forced. Almost like a business relationship. I’m only a couple minutes in though. This is my initial view. With body language, their elbows and bodies are close, but their necks are cranked away from each other. They over “fake” with names like sweetie and honey. Curious about this show and what they’re going to say. Because either they’re shy in front of the camera or their in a business marriage.
@jedidiahwise9038 2 жыл бұрын
I'm not attracted to her because she weighs 240 and is 5'4.
@JohnnyD69FG Жыл бұрын
Yikes.
@Theforexmonk Жыл бұрын
My wife 5’4 270.. was 170 when we got together
@ItsAshley08 2 жыл бұрын
I'm not attracted to my husbands character. He says he hates people, he has a temper, he acts like a kid and is annoying. I don't even want to be near him half the time.
@tabbypanda82 2 жыл бұрын
Divorce him and live FREE Sister🤸🏾♂️🤸🏾♂️🤸🏾♂️🤸🏾♂️🤸🏾♂️
@michellemccrea7224 2 жыл бұрын
30 yrs marriage under attack.
@EnemyAce88 Жыл бұрын
So... I'm supposed to just tell my wife that she's lazy, fat, and has completely given up on taking care of herself? I'm still very physically attracted to her, but her mentality of being completely checked out of our relationship and life in general is pushing me away. I'm starting to worry that I'll be spending the last 20 or 30 years of my life alone because she just doesn't seem to care anymore. .
@nathanarmstrong2652 Жыл бұрын
I sort of agree with this. But we should be real that men are attracted to women who look good physically and have feminine beauty. Its dishonest and a disservice to say otherwise. Both spouses should not get complacent about making themselves look good and be attractive to their partner to the best of their ability. If you feel someone is giving you their second best it breeds resentment. Men should work hard to provide, be physically strong, masculine, leading , decisive, while pursuing excellence and be of high value to their women. Being a wimpy male feminist is not attractive. A woman cannot also fake attraction to their husband, but should support him being excellent and strong. She should also feel the need to maintain her physical attractiveness and be pleasing in the bedroom. She should not disrespect him, but be of a pleasant serving disposition. I hate all this fluff about changing diapers as though doing that will make her actually want to sleep with you. Choreplay is a total lie, and if you are not being a strong man, changing diapers will not make her want to sleep with you.
@JohnnyD69FG Жыл бұрын
An argumentative and combative personality will do it quickly.
@tabbypanda82 2 жыл бұрын
Ugh I just know that I don’t want to EVER live with another Male I’m in a relationship with AGAIN. 🚶🏾♀️🚶🏾♀️🚶🏾♀️
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