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"Barbarian?" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" "Alright, you deal 30 points of damage"

"Trust me: it makes sense in my brain." Every player ever at some point.

The rogue was the most effective character at the table. He frustrated the DM so much, they skipped the Beholder's turn.

I love how the Beholder is just so confused he never takes his turn and lets the rogue just fuck around and find out

The barbarian is the only member to actually get anything done here

The Barb just screaming to signify he's raging is the single most accurate thing about this.

"High risk, High reward" "What did it cost?" "The campaign"

Reminds me of my first and last campaign. The DM had a plot involving a town being overrun by the undead army of a vampire wight. He didn’t seem to take into consideration that I was a cleric with sacred flame. It kind of derailed his plan A. Then the rogue derailed his plan B by sleeping with the antagonist

I love that the barbarian automatically does 30 damage by screaming.

the second the rogue went "hmm" i already felt attacked

Rogue: *Sends beholder and party to astral plane* Wizard: I cast plane shift to bring the party back to the material plane

Well, the Rogue obviously has a lot on his mind. After all, he's playing a *inhales* : Half Asimar, Half kalashtar, Blood hunter, Artificier Wizard, With the Haunted One background and the Hollow One trait from the explorers guide to wildemount. And he is haunted by his own very being. He does not run from evil because of that haunting, but also he hates divine beings because all the gods sent him down after killing numerous mortals (he was basically a god before that, but that doesn't really matter all that much). He had divine powers so he hates all of them for locking him in that mortal coil. Also, he refuses to be a victim, so that all back and forth causes a lot of doubt in his mind. Which is why the only option he had for that Beholder was to unveil this Assassin's Creed, Bag of Holding, Portable Hole. He had no other choice.

His cleric having to mitigate his healing so carefully, and basically play chess and think 3 moves ahead, then IMMEDIATELY have his plans scraped cause of his party being ridiculous.... god that’s so spot on

"What are we doing, Barbarian?" "The same thing we do every turn, Fighter."

The Barb screaming. The Bard trying his best to be useful, but being denied by the DM. The Cleric being a not team player. The Rogue doing funky stuff. This skit has it all.

As a rogue, I am ashamed to say this is very accurate. So many mechanics that I *must* use.

i like this barbarian, very compelling character, he should be on more.

I like how the beholder never does anything, so I just imagine whilst the rogue is doing all his weird shit the beholder is just looking at him trying to figure wtf is going on

God just imagining all of this from the perspective of the beholder is fucking hilarious

As a bard, I confirm that we will always help any chaotic party member with their shenanigans.

"High risk, high reward!" "I would like to attack the rogue" I died laughing here XD

“My leathers are shadow colored.” That’s one way to say it.

“I would like to attack the rogue” that got me laughing for a minute straight

As a rogue currently: I only nick useless enchanted stuff, like my sword that has 1/3 accuracy loss but glows near rocks

Imagine being a beholder and one of the guys just runs into the corner, climbs along the wall and ceiling and sends you to another plane

*“NOW I NEED TO RETHINK MY WHOLE TURN!”* Fucking.... spot on.

You forgot the part where the rogue steals from the party and the whole party has to pretend they don't notice in character while passive aggressively punishing the rogue anyway.

"that doesn't mean you can climb flat surfaces" "Can i try?" Im laughing so much

"Barbarian, what are you doing?" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" "Raging, got it." As a Barbarian main, this is so accurate and I feel called out.

“How are you even accomplishing this all in one turn” Me, arcane trickster, with Longstrider, mobility feat, and my ally gave me haste

DM: The Beholder hovers over the party, it's eleven eyes glaring at each of you as it prepares its abominable arcane abilities. Roll initiative! Bard: I cast Bardic Inspiration. Cleric: I take cover and prepare Healing Hands Barbarian: AAAAAAAAAAAA- Rouge: I create a singularity and suck us all into the infinite void.

"OH GREAT NOW I HAVE TO RETHINK MY WHOLE TURN" - Cleric I feel that in my soul

"I'd like to attack the rogue" has been uttered countless a time

you missed the oportunity to say "my jacket is made of....hide"

DM: You see a Crown Rogue(Me): I steal it DM: Ok roll for it Rogue(Me): D20 DM: *Under Their Breath* Well there goes the plot Rogue(Me): *Muttering* Yes

The Cleric cast Beacon of Hope so that when the Rogues plan inevitably backfired he'd be able to survive, then he could heal the Rogue as much as possible I think

The rogue should just stab the main eye so that I won't have to worry about any anti-magic fields causing disruptions to any fireball-related activities of mine... What do you mean "the other eye rays"?

Let's be honest... any DM that lets a rogue have a bag of holding AND a portable hole knows what he's signing up for.

Rogue: *Banging a drum, while prone, in the center of an auditorium full of people* "I would like to sneak out of the auditorium while everyone is watching me" DM: Roll Stealth at quadruple disadvantage Rogue: "47"

I love how the barbarian is the only one basically playing the game at that point

Cleric: Frantic shuffling through his 8,000 available spells I feel that.

“Is the beholder prone because it floating.” There has to be a DM who was asked this question before at least once

"I would like to attack the rogue" killed me.

This man single-handedly inspired me to play D&D with my friends, I have zero regrets.

"Is the killer whale technically prone because it's in water-" "Is the ground prone because it's flat-" "Okay so he's breakdancing right, what I'm hearing is that he's prone-"

If i had a copper piece for every time someone in my party said "I would like to attack the rogue" I would have enough to pay them back for what I stole from them.

As a rouge, I can confirm that we do the most gimiky things just to mess with the campaign

My barbarian kobold was so dumb yet so strong that when our party's rogue tried to rob my gold pouch I hospitalised her by turning my body

Unrealistic, a true Rouge player would complain about having to make an athletics check instead of acrobatics

I like how the beholder just shot a laser at the bard and then just spent the rest of the time watching the rouge do a bunch of dumb sh*t before being sent to the astral plane

The rogue scampers into a dark corner, skittering up the wall and along the ceiling, and falling from it, like a cockroach, all in a single motion

This made me miss being a barbarian. There’s some simple fun in just screaming and inflicting damage

“Trust me it makes sense in my brain” In my sessions, that’s the word spoken a few seconds before disaster

How rogues destroy campaigns: "I run away and let all my comrades to die a horrible death."

I love how Jacob gives each player and the DM their own personality.

I once put a bag of holding inside a bag of holding. The universe collapsed in on itself and imploded.

"How do you rule grappling, if you're just grappling arms." - I'm suddenly imagining this beholder as a buff geodude.

To be honest the Cleric Casting Beacon Of Hope makes perfect sense because he most likely expects the rogue to fall to his death

Our first session with a new (and diverse) group went something similar to this and now we’re restarting with 6 chaotic evil rogues and i’m never playing with them again.

"Is the Beholder technically prone?" Literally its 1 condition immunity is prone.

The tree most cursed words in all of D&D “Can I try?”

"Okay Cleric, that ends your turn. Barbarian, what are you doing?" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" "Raging, gotcha."

Favorite moments. Barbarian: Aaaaaaaaaaaa. Rogue: Hhhhhhmmmmmm.

That's why for my campaigns I go by the rule "if it seems broken/unfair, it doesn't count." The rogue hates this rule, but the rest of the party LOVES it

As a rogue, I can confirm this is completely accurate.

As a cleric player, i can tell you why he was casting Beacon of Hope. He was betting the rogue would die

I don't think enough appreciation is given to how accurate the bard is.

The beholder was so awed by the rouge's incredible wall climbing ability he lost all actions for his next turn.

"Is the Beholder technically prone since it is hovering?" I died.

This is a great reminder that DMs should always remember that when something straight up isn't possible you can just say "No, that makes no sense no matter what you roll"

0:15 "oh you're just the greatest" best line

"Barb what do you do" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" "You deal 30 points of damage"

That campaign isn't ruined at all. Astral campaign with a beholder sounds like a great next session.

"Is the beholder technically prone because he's hovering?" That. That got me.

This is just like my last session in the campaign I am dm'ing (this Friday will be the final session finally). The party consists of a Dragonborn Paladin, a High elf Wizard (necromancer) a human bard, and a human rogue (who wanted a custom bounty hunter specialty). The goal is to infiltrate the palace and get into the throne room to confront the regent who they think is the bad guy. The agreed plan was to get within the outer walls by going through the sewer and then the bard and the wizard would use Dimension door to teleport the party inside. However it ended up going something like this: Rogue: I'm going to climb up first and scout around. Paladin/Wizard: OK Bard (who is a rogue multiclass and has expertise in stealth and access to pass without trace): gets ignored (Like they pretty much had been the whole time they were with the party) Rogue climbs out of the sewer and I advise the side of the palace closest to them has a door leading to the barracks. Rogue: I use my crowbar to jam the door shut. DM: Not a problem (since it does not affect the plan) Rogue: I'm now going to go round the side to see if there is another door. Goes round to the front of the palace where two guards are stationed. DM: You see two guards outside the front gate. They also see you. Rogue: I stealth. rolls a 22 Guards roll a nat 20 and and the other a 18 with their boost to perception they can still see him. Rogue:(as the guards approach him) I reach into my belt (magic item that gives a random item: caltrops, potion of oil that can use used like a grease spell or a black egg like what ninjas use) gets the caltrops and drops them on the ground (basically pausing the game like Skyrim while he searches through his inventory) Guards: Step over the caltrops Rogue: I jump onto the wall to get away Guards go to pull him off the wall Rogue: I pull my legs up out of the way (fails the roll gets pulled down) Guards try to wrestle him to the ground Rogue: I pull out my wolf carving (another item I gave him that summons a wolf companion. I gave him this because he was griping out only being able to use his sneak attack if the paladin was within 5ft of him. During combat the rogue likes to rush straight at the biggest boss character and try to go one on one while the paladin is trying to tank/heal) DM: make a sleight of hand check Rogue: fails roll Guards knock the carving out of his hand. At this point the Bard figures something is up and uses Disguise self to look like a guard captain and creeps up to the scuffle. Rogue: still trying to fight the guards while being pinned to the ground. Bard: sneaks up behind the guards and tries to knock them on the head with her rapier. Rogue: interrupts the bard's action to continue trying to break free and fails. Bard: Finally succeeds on the roll to knock the guards out. Rogue: Do I recognize this guard captain from my days as a soldier. DM: History check. Rogue rolls a 9. DM: You do not. Rogue: I go to attack the guard captain. Paladin and Wizard arrive. Bard drops the disguise self before the Rogue can attack. Wizard takes hold of the Paladin and dimension doors into the castle. Bard grabs hold of the rogue somewhat annoyed at the rogue for almost giving the game away and trying to stab her and dimension doors. Rogue: (as they teleport) Dunno what's her problem.

When you realize the beholder is still with the party

So, Rogue, what are you doing? _* internet explorer noises *_

Ironically the best player in the game was the barbarian, and all the guy did was yell: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-“ The entire game.

Just got recommended this video and I DEFINITELY walk back into the corner with my rogue in BG3, click hide, and sneak attack. Every. Single. Turn.

“The beholder looks at the bag of holding and portable hole with its antimagic beam just before you can insert them into each other”

"I would like to attack the rouge." "Roll for attack." "Nat 20." "The rouge gets fucking murdered by your gutair."

“I’m going to take to pants of the king” “Wha-“ “19 and with my Sleight of hand I got a 37!”

My rogue follows the mantra of “real G’s move in silence, like lasagna”

"What are you doing, Barbar-" *AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH* accurate.

Bard: "I'd like to cast a spell!" DM: *Look of knowing.* Bard: ....."Vicious Mockery" DM: *Pure fudge off face.* NEXT TURN

Honestly the worst thing Ive experienced with a rogue in the party was the DM raising the enemies perception modifiers specifically to counter him. My poor monk never snuck again. Mainly cause he couldnt make the DC. And was then shot by alotta archers. Rip Sir Emrick throat puncher. You shall be missed

I like to imagine the barbarian was screaming the whole time, but he was far away enough to not be heard any other time

I just have to say: This video encapsulates me as a rogue. Well done! Rogue: Prepare for everything you expect your DM to throw at you. Then, prepare for everything you think your DM won't throw at you. Then, prepare backups for when those preparations fall through. For everything else there's Preparation H(mmmm).

"Is the beholder technically prone because it's hovering?" is the most rogue thing ever I have advantage right? Sneak attack advantage prone double damage crit?

DM: “Roll stealth!” Rogue: *pulls out maracas*

That barbarian is a vibe, what do barbarians do best after all. Scream and bonk

That cleric was the most relatable thing, coming from someone who’s second character in dnd was a dwarf cleric

Alternate title: Corona Jacob is slowly going insane as he can only play D&D with himself.

For some reason, the part I can't survive is *_"The Prophecy..."_*

I actually gasped out loud when rogue declared he's going to invoke the dreaded "bag of holding + portable hole" combo. :D

Well played. Our rogue was simply notorious for running away. Which the player blamed on being a rogue, until he played a wizard and began running away. This was well done.

The only thing wrong is the rogue being on the end of the initiative

"...along with everybody in the room." We were on the verge of greatness. We were this close.

"can i loot the room?" in the middle of a fight 💀