nice

Nice

Nice

nice

Nice

yes, he and Galmar StoneCokc have peacefully resolved the civil war with only nuke dogs and tentacles.

"I was just committing war crimes"

“Lots, but no one seems to think so...”

RAIN DOWN THAT COLLATERAL PACIFISM BOYS

who are you quoting?

Lmao 😂

Did you not watch the video ?! It’s not a war crime if you win !

Naked girl fist two burly guys to near death.

News: Crazy man running around in streets naked, committing war crimes.

Naked man commits crimes against physics while making other people naked as well

That made me laugh 😂

To be fair, they still got the fort itself.

*Mission Faild Successfully*

I love the idea of this thank you😂😂

This is canon now

Bro u got me crying LMAO!!! Thank you so much I need that.

This is literally the Batman problem in two sentences and one KZfaq video

Bookmarking so I can use this for an academic essay

420th like bro

War has changed)

@@utopiaplace8074 It's no longer about nations, ideologies, or ethnicity. It's an endless series of proxy battles, fought by mercenaries and machines. War, and its consumption of life, has become a well oiled machine. War has changed. ID tagged soldiers carry ID tagged weapons, us ID tagged gear. Nano-machines inside their bodies enhance and regulate their abilites. Genetic control, information control, emotion control, battlefield control. Everything is monitored, and kept under control. War has changed. The age of deterrence, has become the age of control. All in the name of averting catastrophe from weapons of mass destruction. And he who controls the battlefield, controls history. War has changed. When the battlefield is under total control, war becomes routine.

@@trackernivrig no u

ITS TIME FOR SOME COLLATERAL PACIFISM BOYS

The true invention of the first plane

exactly, not gonna prosecute yourself

More accurately war crime trials require you to sign a treaty. The USA, China, And Russia are not signatories so they cannot be persecuted for war crimes cause they do not consent. There’s nothing stopping a winner from being prosecuted if their country signed a relevant treaty. This is why the warrant for Putin’s warcrimes is irrelevant and unenforceable.

If you win, there will be none to judge you lol

Chad AF

Pro gamer move

and all that was essential to the plan of winning a civil war

@Sightless_Seeker Big brain time

@xBirds Considering the numerous war crimes commited in this campaign, I think that a bit of homophobia is the least of *THE NEGOTIATOR'S* concerns.

It’s Nordic tradition to have someone else do your busy work

Sir, we would like to declare wa- THE WIZARD, FETCH HIS DAMN TABLET FIRST B-But sir we want to attack this entire cit- GO FETCH HIS DAMN TABLET BEFORE I PISS MESELF

Balgruuf just achieved world peace, simply do not allow war to take place for as long as you have personal problems

I’m offended by this comment. Please delete

Because he's Jarl Balgruuf and he be ballin' swag

Didn’t even realize it was edited at first

To be fair, you don´t actually specify that you´re a stormcloak (Unless you were wearing the outfit in that case it's obvious, but ive done naked runs before) so he just assumed you were delivering a message just like any other regular delivery quest adventurers do. Then again he could just be pissed you weren't with him and instead against him... you were his thane after all.

That jarl is an idiot anyway

@@ChonkedCat i mean he is one of the few jarls that seems to care about the whole dragons killing my people situation so he has my respect

What else would you expect from a whiny Imperial sympathiser... Support Ulfric, or die trying. There's no in between.

Dunno, seems kinda gay to me.

Glad I wasn't the only one who did a double take.

22:45 Galmar: Put the fear of the nine into those motherfuckers.

13:50

Had me double checking the subtitles haha

Legate Thicke

I want a summon Star Platinum mod

@@dysphoria_1.040 me too.

" *Sigh* Yeah, I figured something like this would happen knowing you."

This is making me want a Backrooms mod now

lmao, still calling them honey after literally not showing up to the wedding

@@caelum9471 Yes!!

lol, i didn't expect to learn so much about war crimes today. This is better than online class.

@@jackfrost9512 The article bans the use of animals or theirs carcasses as bombs, or more specifically, booby-traps, check it out: hrlibrary.umn.edu/instree/1980d.htm so it probably includes dolphins. I could find some things about military trained dolphins, just like dogs, but the only thing about exploding ones is some allegation that Iran was trying it or something. Also Wikipedia said that the USA tried using bats and pigeons, while the bomb dogs were an soviet idea.

@@deadmeme897 yep, USSR used explosive dogs during WWII to blow up Nazi tanks. They specifically trained dogs to leap beneath the tanks because the bottom is the weakest part of any tank. While this sounds horrible and wondrous at the same time, this tactic wasn't really effective. Most of the time bombs blew up on the open field, and sometimes even beneath the friendly Soviet tanks, as dogs doesn't have any distinction between Nazi and Soviet vehicles

Clearly the only way to prevent this is a full scale napalm bombardment

@@loganreed9340 soviet tanks ran on diesel, nazi tanks ran on petrol, so the dogs did have a way to distinct them(the smell of the burnt fuel), but the soviets trained them on their own tanks, so that's why they blew soviet tanks up, they only recognised them as targets

He really wants to use that Science Defying Vehicle (bucket) to a good use

But could he have passed our boi in the net as a pacifist?

@@kingKapuzina could've just pickpocketed the claw

like when he skips the college entry test only to have to do it again. or when he skips the thalmor embassy to avoid wearing clothes. we love to see it

@@kingKapuzina You mean Arvel? That dude gets decked by the first draugr that sees him if you don't get to him first.

Miraak just wants to give you some space

Miraak realizes you are single and can't help himself

It breaks both the questline and poor Marcurio's heart

In reality you were marrying Miraak in disguise and he is heartbroken

You see, ymfah uses a magic companion as a marriage option. this means when it comes to the marriage. Hermaeus Mora feels the disterbance within the magic and knowledge planes. This means that for Miraak having gained power from Mora is ultimately weakened and unable to overthrow Mora. He is recorded in lore to say "Damn you the false Dragonborn the power of the boner was not strong enough to defeat you as Mara predicted" But due to it's graphic implictions was not put in the final cut.

Pacifism, also known as the act of letting another inflict violence upon others as long as it gets you through the quest

I've always liked that Hanako picture. Excellent taste.

congrats, your comment now has 1 thousand likes. I figured I should let you know

May I ask, what's your pfp

throws a brick at someone's head and kills them "not my fault he was in the way of my brick"

there's a theory that they only want true nords in the army (as well as Skyrim in general) so they rigged the entry exam in their favor due to their natural frost resistance

Kinda funny, I feel like it's to weed out any non-nords. Nords resist ice.

@@wadespencer3623 If you're not a Nord, Galmar gives you frost resist potions. The trial is surprisingly fair for all races, and also really easy because he also gives you 3 really strong poisons specifically meant to cheese the Frost Wraith.

The esteemed Jarl of Windhelm has my answer, he can shove it up his ass.

@@ameliakyle7054 shove his axe up his ass! ... I'll let myself out...

I’m offended by this comment. Please delete

It's Jarl Ballin', get it right. xD

Got to thinking... maybe I'm the Dragonborn, and I just don't know it yet?

Like the tf2 medics background. "Born in Stuttgart, Germany, during an era where the hippocratic oath had been downgraded to an optional hippocratic suggestion"

"suggestion"

"Deploy the IEDog"

The real question is what is the Geneva convention

He does talk on some of the dark souls challenges

NPCs with 1 HP: I Submit, please don't kill me! NPCs with 2 HP: I AM INVINCIBLE

Which faction do you support: the racists, The racists, or the racists

@@Skullhawk13lmaooooo

FOR THE EMPIRE! FOR THE LEGION!

but I did kidnaped his wife

@@redeyeczletsplay3235 GTA V reference, nice.

"I hate the enemy, but do not kill them." ~ Master Chief, 1492

@@redeyeczletsplay3235 Dammit you beat me

@Sorley Walker Secret exits, yes. Secret exits that lead directly to the treasure room in the secret castle-beneath-the-castle, not so much. The Temple of Miraak is like having the secret alien ward beneath the already secret military base at Area 51 having a secret exit that leads to a bathroom stall in the Luxor casino.

@@xiiiultima To be fair, a casino would be the last place you'd think to look for a secret door to Area 51.

Hermaeus Mora rigged the game from the start.

They weren't expecting the bucket

Well former-Archmage Savos Aren did seal away the dangerous dragon priest Morokei wielding the mighty Staff of Magnus by placing a plank of wood on a double door from the inside, so this is a fairly standard security model in Tamriel apparently

Looks like he isn’t just known for his hands

He didn't stutter...

XD

I had to do a double take

Just noticed that at 0:25 as well

Well, technically, he didn't hit anyone, so...

Do do, d-dodo, d-dodo, dd-dodo---do

*SHAMUNAH*

He didnt hit him physically, but they did get hit with the "HEE HEE"

Criminal criminal criminal

To be fair, Stormcloak armor is pretty ass

@@TaikaJamppa You do realize the Stormcloaks have literally the worst equipment in the game right? Like, statistically, their curiass gives 21 points compared to the 23 of an imperial armor, their cuffs and boots are 5 points Vs the 7 of an Imperial, and their helmet is 1 point weaker too. They also lack Heavy Armour and to add insult to injury you cannot even get a Stormcloak helmet at helgen. Literally the only reason why you would want to join them in the first place is so you can loot the Imperial statistically superior armoury AND weaponry given the Imperial Grade. And this isn't even taking into account the lore related, in universe political implications of joining the Stormcloaks unironically given their Status as "More Subtly Fascist Fallout New Vegas Legion," this is just mechanics really.

@@travelkingable I respect u dude

@@travelkingable dude, its just a game. No need to go full asperger

@@AndreLuis-gw5ox dude, its just his opinion. No need to be a dick about it

Ehem... You mean Geneva Suggestion.

-Should I finish 'em? -No, let them burn, it' the pacifist run

The US isnt actually bound by the Geneva Convention, they didn’t sign it, but everyone else was too afraid to make them at the time.... thought that was mentionable

@@justincoltharp9701 The U.S. is bound by the Genova Convention; they signed it in 1949, ratified in 1955.

@@crazycreeper888 I must be thinking of a separate set of accords.

Legendary edit

lol, thought I was hearing wrong. xd

There is like 10 changed lines like that one. Which is just damn great.

Psst. Hey, I know who you are. Hail Sithis!

@@whiterunguard7853kill him, he’s with the Dark Brotherhood! (I always destroy the brotherhood on good play through

@@RevanReborn3950BBYexcept you actually don’t. Night mother, Keeper, and Babette always survive to rebuild on a destroy playthrough

Isn't a war crimes if you win

Asking how many people a soldier killed is normal, asking how many war crimes they commited is weird

@@KorliWolf To be fair, recieving an answer of “zero” when asking how many they killed is not normal, either.

@@Damini368 i guess that would have to depend on what they did during the war. Like if they just managed the planes on a carrier ship, and never got into an actual fire fight then that wouldnt be wierd, but if they where an actual soldier and got into fire fights, then yeah that would be wierd

Yeah but that's boring and all the videos would feel the same if they did that every time

Let me tell ya, this boy makes videos like nobody else, I already rewatched his channel like 3 times? Every time he releases new video about skyrim its just like a small burst of joy for me. Thank you ymfah.

@@XeroXid1337 i feel exactly same bro.

@@XeroXid1337 there are many amazing channels, but for one to make people rewatch the entire channel (I've done it once or twice with ymfah already) is truly something special. This guys content is just so perfect

Tfs dbz reference ❤️

Dodoria

Dodoria: *sees Bardock flying in the distance Oh fuck...

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I was looking for a comment like this its so funny

I was not expecting that sentance

I just started laughing my head off at 4 am. Genuinely thought it wasn't serious 💀

There's more.

I approve of this reference so highly, you have no idea

@@MasterXehanort1000 Noo

Reminds me of that Rick and Morty episode where Morty wanted to save the fart cloud from being assassinated, and ended up causing the deaths of thousands of people in the process.

Presumably, nobody on the wiki had thought to apply the wedding glitch to that scene.

The wiki people are sane while Ymfah is a genius

@@LonelySpaceDetective finna use the wedding glitch to obtain that executioner's gear I've wanted since I first booted skyrim

@@kek848 KEEP. ME. POSTED! Lemme know if you can pull it off! I'm gonna try for Psijic Robes once I redownload the game

"The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without posting cringe" - *_Sun Tzu_*

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without killing anyone in Skyrim. -not Sun Tzu lma

"If you know the enemy and know yourself you need not fear the results of a hundred battles" -Still Sun Tzu

@@shreyanshsingh379 "You see, I used an ancient deceptive technique, its called LYING" -Sun Tzu, the art of war

“Quoting Sun Tzu is tiny pp cringe” - Donald J. Trump

"Let some else do it" as per in the video

To be fair you did let the lava kill him for you, it just did a shit job.

@@iainhansen1047 I once pushed a clone off a roof once, but i didn't kill him gravity did

Stop Panakin

It's not your fault, it's the high ground's

How dare you insult Mitten “Hot narrator Voice” Squad?

@@anonsdad2196 Unbelievable

"pushing an engine beyond it's limits" yeah many parts of this video and some of the other ones he made go beyond pushing the limits and simply shatter the game. this video has the most examples of this and the most agrigious ones but all of them have some examples. what i mean is that the entire video is filled with glitches that make no sense that someone will figure them out edit: tell me for what reason and under what circumctanses would someone find out most of these. i know that glitch hunters exist but in the cases of the claw doors while the glitch is possible it's unbelivably hard to make and so: how do people figure it out?

@@goatass3402 Todd posts them in 4chan glitch threads every now and then

@@goatass3402 I mean, the bucket and cauldron is just basic troll physics, everyone obviously did it on their first play-through. Wait, what do you mean you didn't? Aww man, I didn't wanna be the bearer of bad news...

And make sure to sneak at a proper distance to not aggro the former, infuriated, companion.

@@thaias9654 or become a vampire and go invisible.

But that requires not being a Nord

you got owned on youre strat by a fucking random comment lmao

Ymfah content also contain editing and stuff, dude.

Geneva convention is more like “guidelines.”

@@LeTtRrZ so as long as you’re a hot girl with million simping for you, you can break any and all guidelines without having any consequences? Huh, neat

Dragonborn: Wanna get married? NPC: Not particularly Dragonborn: * puts on Amulet of Mara* NPC: hELL YEAH I DO

Meanwhile Serana,the NPC u spend the most time with and who grows with you and is probably one of the most developed characters in the game still friends ones you Also an honourable mention to Brynjolf ...why are the only npcs i wish to marry are not marriable????

@@insertunoroginalnamehere6189 You CAN marry serana, but only as a human, cause of the dragonborn's one weakness. Racism

@@sierraandrews9921 oof

@@sierraandrews9921that’s a mod, she refuses even when cured baseline.

“Let us taste that sexy voice”

Ulfric right hand man, Galmar stonec*ck...

“You can return this axe to our friend. The esteemed Jarl of Windhelm can shove it up his *ss”

Check out the 'Gamer Poop' series on KZfaq, it's essentially all dialogue cuts like that

"You can tell the _esteemed_ Jarl of Windhelm to *shove it up his ass!"*

"Another day, another -Septim- Dragon."

"hmmm hmmm...." "hmmm hmmm?!" "hmmm hmmm...." "hmmm hmmm." "HMMM HMMM?!?!?!"

Big Gough energy

When he said "Hmmm hmmm..." and looked up I immediately knew it was a dragon

What 20 gold? Those damn tavern wench is ripping me off. She said 60 for a ride damn.

@@Chronostra 60? She fuckin told me it was 90 gold!

I didnt and asked myself then did that happen? xD

"Not my fault he hit me. I wasn't even fighting back. Should've known I'd explode in tentacles"

And some people really think levitate was removed entirely lol

The reason levitate was hidden in buckets is bc we gotta keep it a secret from the imperials bc according to imperial law levitating is illegal

Its all dwemer technology...

At 20:19? Yeah, I heard "I don't see any signs of HER..."

Does it even matter?

HE IS A WITCH

And Max Tennyson from Ben 10 franchise, The Vault-Tec Salesman in Fallout 4, Cedric from Dark Cloud 2 (that one's for me to love and mention, lol.), etc.

Dude... Its literally the joke that opens the video. Everyone saw that, which is probably why nobody feels the need to bring up such obvious thing. Did you had to search wikipedia to get the joke?

There probably is

Ymfah is a disciple of Sheo

prob sheogorath

Sheagorath

Either Sheogorath or Clavicus Vile. Sheo because of the sheer absurdity and, well, madness of it all. Clavicus Vile because Ymfah did exactly what he set out to do in the most indirect manner possible, bringing an end to the civil war without bringing any _direct_ harm to his opponents, besides maybe psychological. Clavicus Vile has a very indirect method of granting his followers' wishes, ranging from giving one of them an axe to cure his daughter's lycanthropy, and curing vampirism by having his followers annihilated by an unknowing dragonborn, answering their prayers in perhaps the most indirect way possible. Fun fact for those who have read this far down; the Voice Actor for Clavicus Vile is the same person who voices the Mister Handies from Fallout. _let that sink in for a moment._