You are abused by narcissists with questions
Рет қаралды 85,228
11 ай бұрынNarcissistic abuse is an undeniable crisis. Discover Healing, Empowerment, and Authentic Living...
Schedule your 1 on 1 appointment - theroyalwe.kartra.com/page/HWH7
Start The Coaching Program - theroyalwe.kartra.com/page/ynE48
Take this FREE Healing assessment -quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6633d2...
Connect With Me:
Instagram - / jointheroya. .
TikTok - / theroyalweoff. .
Facebook - / theroyalwehost
Donate to help:
Donations - paypal.me/JoinTheRoyalWe?loca...
The Royal We has helped Millions to escape the grip of narcissistic abuse. Here’s a deeper look into what narcissistic abuse looks like and steps to heal from it:
Narcissistic abuse looks like:
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often show little to no empathy for others, making it easy for them to manipulate and exploit. Narcissists use various tactics such as gaslighting, love bombing, and devaluation to control and dominate their victims.
Common Tactics Used in Narcissistic Abuse:
Gaslighting: Making the victim doubt their own reality and sanity.
Love Bombing: Showering the victim with excessive attention and affection to gain control.
Devaluation: Undermining the victim’s self-worth through criticism, belittling, and emotional neglect.
Isolation: Cutting the victim off from their support systems to increase dependency on the abuser.
Triangulation: Using others to create jealousy or competition, keeping the victim feeling insecure.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
How to begin healing from narcissistic abuse:
Understand that you have been enduring narcissistic abuse. This awareness is the first step toward healing.
Get Help:
Work with The Royal We to get the tools to understand and process your experiences. Visit - www.jointheroyalwe.com
Establish No Contact or Low Contact:
Limit or completely cut off communication with the narcissistic abuser. This helps you gain emotional distance and begin your healing journey.
Rebuild Your Self-Esteem:
Engage in activities that boost your confidence and self-worth. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people who value and respect you.
Educate Yourself:
Learn about narcissistic abuse and its effects. Knowledge is empowering and can help you recognize patterns and avoid future toxic relationships.
Practice Self-Care:
Prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, adequate sleep, and mindfulness practices can all contribute to your recovery.
Set Boundaries:
Develop and maintain healthy boundaries in all your relationships.
Connect with others who have experienced narcissistic abuse. Join The Royal We Support Group - theroyalwe.kartra.com/page/ynE48
#relationships #abuse #toxicrelationships #narcissisticabuse #emotionalabuse #healthyrelationships #narcissistic #toxicpeople #narcissisticabusesurvivor #relationshipstatus #toxicfree #narcissisticabuserecovery #abusesurvivor #relationships101 #domesticabuse #toxicrelationship #relationshipsgoals #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #toxicfreeliving #abuseawareness #toxicfamily #abuserecovery #toxicfriends #narcissisticmother #relationshipstruggles #psychologicalabuse #relationshipscoach #toxicparents #narcissisticparent #relationshipstuff #toxicpositivity #relationshipskills #mentalabuse #consciousrelationships #verbalabuse #stopabuse #domesticabuseawareness #loveandrelationships #narcissistabuse #narcabuse #healingfromabuse #hashtagabuse #physicalabuse #abusesurvivors #notoxicpeople #religiousabuse #toxicbehavior #narcissisticinjury #relationshipschool #badrelationships #parentalalienationischildabuse #emotionalabuseawareness #relationshipsgoal #narcissisticabuselifecoach #betterrelationships #relationshipsarehard #lifeafterabuse #toxicgirl #npdabuse #narcissisticsupply #hiddenabuse #relationshipsadvice #toxictraits #cheatingisabuse #narcissisticfather #brokenrelationships #relationshipsuccess #healingafternarcissisticabuse #toxicfemininity #abusiverelationships #narcissisticabuserecoverycoach #toxicfriendships #covertnarcissisticabuse #abusers #narcissisticbehavior #toxicattraction #relationshipsupport #childabusesurvivor #narcissticabuse #covertabuse #masculinityisnottoxic #alcoholabuse #gaslightingisabuse #narcissisticfamily #emotionalabuseisstillabuse #childhoodabuse #christianrelationships #narcissisticparents #healingfromnarcissisticabuse #toxicparents #abuser #narcissisticparent #narcissisticandemotionalabuse #toxicrelationshipsurvivor #abuseisnotlove #abuseofpower #narcissisticrelationship #abuseisabuse #emotionalabusesurvivor #financialabuse #toxicworkplace #buildrelationships #realrelationships #spiritualabuse #abusedwomen #endabuse #unhealthyrelationships #narcissisticrecovery #fakerelationships #brokenrelationships #relationshipsuccess
@BarbaraWiltGerber 10 ай бұрын
Pay attention to the timing as well. Ex narc used to ask me a lot of questions while I was trying to eat. He’d ask controversial questions while I’m trying to fall asleep. He’d alway need an answer to something trivial while I was trying to shower. He’d come and interrupt me while I was working to do something for him or find something that was in plain sight. He’d ask me things while I was reading. He’d ask me something that he knew I would say no to so that he could pick a fight. He’s often ask my opinion only to do the opposite. They use questions to punish and abuse, then whine, “D@mn! I can’t even ask you a simple question!”
@stevenr6874 10 ай бұрын
Oh yeah they LOVE to go opposite of what you say just to pick a fight. If you say the sky is blue they'll say it's red and try to convince you of it. Total insanity!
@yehmen29 10 ай бұрын
I've had that too. Grandiose narcissist team leader/manager turns up and starts bombarding you with questions (the kind that you can't answer with just 'yes' or 'no') while you are eating, even though they should be happy that you are eating at your desk (doing data entry) instead of taking a lunchbreak. Same thing when you are commuting to/from work, they will bombard you with conversation when you are trying to read a book (sometimes studying for a professional qualification). And once you get home, you try to eat, or you try to study, but your landlady/landlord/housemates keep barging in and bombarding you with questions about your day, your feelings etc.
@Warriorsfan540 10 ай бұрын
Such a great comment. Thank you for highlighting this.
@jenniferanderson7062 6 ай бұрын
I can relate to your comment 100%! My soon to be Ex- narcissist husband would always want to have deep talks when I was sleeping. He would wait until I was sleeping and then turn on the light or come over and wake me up. Same with your work comment. I work from home and he always interrupted me to serve him while I was busy working. I would get so stressed and irritated. I’m sorry you went through that, but I’m glad to know I’m not the only one. I thought I was going nuts. And he would always say I was the selfish one making everything about me. It’s laughable now.
@kaylaschroeder1 4 ай бұрын
Omg yes. This is exactly right. They want ALL or as much of your attention as possible. It's exhausting.
@1RPJacob 11 ай бұрын
"I am in control in this relationship as long as I ask and you answer."
@crimestoppers1877 10 ай бұрын
Read my comments above? I do not answer questions.
@Proposal12 10 ай бұрын
Have fun with that one...How? "I am in control in this relationship as long as I ask and you answer." - Make light of the words used here, "I am in control in this relationship..." in control of what exactly? The other part is " as long as I ask" answer with question/statement, if they say thats a question, simply state that you answered , my point is look at the words, not the context, statement etc...
@crimestoppers1877 10 ай бұрын
@@Proposal12 One responses is No response to any question or implied question. re: That's nice. You can never argue with no answers.
@Proposal12 10 ай бұрын
@@crimestoppers1877 I get what your saying and im ot saying it´s wrong, but there´s ways to eff with them as well. They aren´t superior by any means...Picture a 14 year old infront of you...If you didn´t get what I meant then let me know...
@crimestoppers1877 10 ай бұрын
@@Proposal12 Please explain? In my line of work I run audits, civil and criminal investigations of individuals and organizations. I have interviewed TNC and have heard so many types of explanations, reasons, excuses and alibis for behavior. All witnesses need to do is tell the facts as they experience them. I never interrogate, instead I just suggest "simple" and highly defined questions about what was observed, heard or experienced. Legal venues of all types rely on the nuances of our language and culture as well as the law. The story of a criminal can be woven into a tapestry of virtue and altruism and I understand that reality. I do not have hatred or negative emotions about even the worst of those with the Dark Quad behavior traits. The best defense is to know and understand. Could I hate an alligator, rabid dog, great white shark, rattle snake or salesman? No, they are what they are and they will not change. Mostly, they are already smiling before they bite.
@TheBigdog868 10 ай бұрын
The more people I meet, the more I love my cats ❤
@ca6248 10 ай бұрын
I've always wondered why questions triggered and bothered me so much. This video now makes me understand why.
@blessed7927 10 ай бұрын
I agree!!!!!!!!!!!!🎉
@millie9814 10 ай бұрын
Same... I HATE questions or being questioned so much, I just want someone to trust and believe in me for a change
@lindamoore9729 10 ай бұрын
Same here!! It's how my narcissist has gotten me baited into arguments. This was a good video that's for sure.
@DarkCelestialConsciousness 10 ай бұрын
@@millie9814 I love questions asking and being asked unless theyre the type this guy is talking about where the answer to wat kind of person I am or smth is baked in especially if they're wrong about me. Debate questions r not about putting someone down usually. Intellectual and moral challenge is healthy including wen talking about these topics. Interrogation questions can b good if u r not on the same page as someone else.
@damidami5064 10 ай бұрын
@@millie9814 You've got this.
@user-gs8ku7tu6v 10 ай бұрын
They question you thinking you have no boundaries, and when they encounter boundaries they become enraged and try to break you down, by using your reaction against you, and making false accusations. They make your boundaries out to be a character flaw.
@ND-or5so 10 ай бұрын
Thats what ge dud to me and I still stuck up for myself then I kicked his ass and he
@TJMoolTricia 10 ай бұрын
oh this lol, my sister does this - (you’re the only person in my life sho has this much boundary around your availability lol.)
@redrumax 10 ай бұрын
Yep, my narc said my boundaries are infringing on his rights and I don't care about his feelings lol
@TheMazinoz 10 ай бұрын
Not just your boundaries but the law!
@ronfox5519 10 ай бұрын
I remember in the old cowboy movies they would shoot at the feet of a guy to make him dance. That is what it was like having a conversation with my aunt. There came a point where I saw what was happening and just quit 'dancing'. Quit reacting to her jabs. Did not get defensive or make any accusations or argue in any way. I just simply refused to react. Thats all. Nothing more. In one second, there was a darkness that came over her face that has never left. To this day, she's still trying to punish me. That was ten years ago .
@izawaniek2568 11 ай бұрын
Spot on Kevin. Narcisists know nothing about common courtesy and good manners.
@lifeafternarcissism 10 ай бұрын
Exactly, you are right. They are so clueless
@DarkCelestialConsciousness 10 ай бұрын
So is this about elitism and classism or is this about hvin basic humanity and decency?
@TheMazinoz 10 ай бұрын
@@DarkCelestialConsciousness Basic human decency and respect. Especially if you have treated them that way all along, only to be met with aggressive threatening manner and questions that have already been answered in detail.
@Plethorality 10 ай бұрын
@@DarkCelestialConsciousnessnarcs are not interested in treating others with respect. They have not interested in learning good manners. We all have to learn manners, at some stage.
@stuart6478 10 ай бұрын
I bet this guy is a shining light of moral perfection
@anxylum 11 ай бұрын
Ughhhh… the endless questioning. And you can never, ever, EVER give them the “correct” answer because it doesn’t exist. Glad I’m done with that forever.
@allanfischer9417 10 ай бұрын
Mazel Tov!
@JebidiahKrackedyetagain-xv9hc 7 ай бұрын
"Forever" you say?????👹🙈🙉🙊
@duromusabc 11 ай бұрын
Just don’t answer any of their questions Don’t explain don’t defend don’t justify don’t plead your case Stay quiet and just do it Works for me all the time
@sandralogue 10 ай бұрын
@@FB.RocksannROUW You can't always recognize a Naircissist,they are master manipulators and extremely proficient liars. They lie like we breath.
@collet214 10 ай бұрын
asking your child/children ...and use it to try twist something against you
@rogerwhoareyou 10 ай бұрын
I tried that too, not answer, explain, justify; it didn't work. Answer or don't answer; they've already made up their mind as to what the answer is before they even asked the question, before they even made the accusation. At least that's been my experience thus far.
@duromusabc 10 ай бұрын
@@rogerwhoareyou the key is just go ahead and do what you want and ignore what they think what they do NO MATTER WHAT ! Yes it’s the fight of your life but you have to be strong in the emotional psychological fight with a narcissist
@alphamail8974 10 ай бұрын
Anything is easy if you "just" make it into a list 😂 Relationships are complicated, especially with family. I had to ween my mom off slowly 😂 because when I suddenly stopped answering, it only lead to more questions and bs. So glad that worked for you though!
@sandralogue 10 ай бұрын
They interrogate for the purpose of gaining info that can be turned against you,even if the info you have is positive ,they will find a way to make it negative or make you feel guilty for doing something for yourself,abd after a while you stop doing things for yourself you stop doing the things that make you happy. You've fallen into the deepest pit of a Narcissistic relationship,you are now Trauma Bonded.
@Rose-246 11 ай бұрын
Before I got married and bought our first home and had a family, I was a very generous person and regularly surprised my narcissist mother with gifts. I suppose I was always trying to buy her love. I could no longer afford to do this as much as my priorities changed and the money had to go to mortgage, kids, etc. My narcissist mother called me up to tell me how ‘cheap’ I had become since meeting my husband and reminded me how I had once been so generous and I was now a cheapskate. I remember showing up at a party with a six pack of beer, certainly more than I would ever drink and she told me I should have brought a 24. ‘Don’t you realize how cheap you look to the rest of the family?’. I was young with a new family, new house, scrimping to get by. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach.
@nopereradicator 10 ай бұрын
Same here. Nothing you do is ever enough.
@elizabethash4720 10 ай бұрын
She was really talking about herself and blaming you for her low self confidence, that you had previously Been propping her up. Her issue, not yours.
@annellacannella5674 10 ай бұрын
It’s hard to see the truth after years of investment into a relationship.
@beekneed 10 ай бұрын
Feeling for you 😔. My mom called me one day out of nowhere in my mid-20s to ask me why I never surprised her with presents. I was like...say what? Neither of us had ever done it before (Mother’s Day, birthdays, and Christmas, yes). It was completely out of the blue. I eventually linked it up to a couple other instances in the past where she'd bring up her various friends' (supposed) relationships with their daughters, hurt that we weren't 'buddies'. The thing is, my mom was an ultra-authoritarian who would, for example, slap me hard across the face for 'contradicting' her (I was FAR from a bratty, rebellious teenager, btw...I never yelled at her or cussed or anything like what I’d sometimes witness people I knew doing with THEIR moms…and they all ended up being best buds later in life!) I always loved her but never considered her friend material nor was I able to intuit that that's what she wanted. She wasn’t “friendly” to me and I accepted that as normal. I suppose as I got older she hoped we’d start becoming more like friends, but again, she wasn’t friendly (I have to say that I am a genuinely friendly person and would have loved to have a relaxed mom-daughtership with her, but whenever we’d try to “hang out”, she’d end up acting as though she ultimately didn’t really like or understand my personality and I couldn’t really understand why. That hurt, but I could accept it as long as she let go of random, highly specific demands). Lord 😐… So, she’d bring it up every couple years, apropos of nothing, as though she'd been simmering over it for a while. I always sympathized with what I believed to be my mom's perspective, and so I always felt so guilty, confused, and deeply flawed even though her demands couldn't possibly (to my mind) match our historic relational circumstances. She died suddenly in 2015 and I (and my sister, who is 8 years older and quite temperamentally and lifestyle-wise different from me) are both still bewildered by all the puzzles, confusion, and hurt she left us to sort out. It makes me angry and it makes me sad. x
@ursalaoutrageous9249 10 ай бұрын
I’m 73. A few years ago I renewed acquaintance with an old friend from junior high. I remembered her as a super-confident girl. Although I was occasionally annoyed by her harsh judgements of people at times, I usually enjoyed her company. Flash forward 55 years. I do not smoke, drink or do drugs. I cook nearly all my meals from scratch. This is not good enough for my friend. She’s an extreme health nut. She eats more supplements than I eat food. She walks for miles. She’s in a seething rage about something or somebody 90% of the time. And she was interrogating me every morning in regards to my diet and exercise - so she could put me down and criticize me for my failures. After I got enough of this and told her so, she cut contact. What a relief!!
@JulieBme 10 ай бұрын
Oh Goodness! After being raised by a narcissist mother, I married and divorced two narcissistic men. My second marriage lasted 22 years. After about 16 years, he made an appointment, for me to see a neurological psychiatrist. I endured eight hours of testing. I went back after two weeks for the results. The doctor basically told my husband, that I had no self-esteem. And proceeded to tell him, that it was basically him that was keeping me down! That was the start, of a wake up call for me.
@marion5198 10 ай бұрын
👏🏼
@Havenforhealing 10 ай бұрын
Dont answer their questions. Respond with a question in return. "Where did you get that idea?" Or make them explain themselves. "I'm not following your logic."
@collectivemindsunique7945 10 ай бұрын
Love this! I’m going to try it
@meghanhause9435 10 ай бұрын
Or do this "I'm not going to answer that question, because no matter what I say you will used that against me in the future." I know this work, because I had a narcissistic aunt asked me a yes or no question, and I hit here with that answer, it shut her up and I was able to walk away from her for that day.
@katarinatibai8396 10 ай бұрын
💯💯💯
@MzGumby02 9 ай бұрын
That will just turn into an argument, or they'll say I'm being too serious or mean. Even if I answer the question...I'm met with "You're too grumpy and mean." My NM has been doing this since I was a kid. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
@nettahart102 7 ай бұрын
My spirit doesn’t like my former partner and for some reason when the former partner starts with the ignorant rhetorical questions my spirit loses it s*%+ I use to be able to keep calm now I have some info as to why my spirit responds accordingly. so my flesh still tries to be friends with this person. Not even realizing that I have a trauma victim attached, and I hear a voice say, “leave this person alone.” . And I never truly understood Why 🤷🏽♀️until now.🤦🏽♀️
@PutSumDirtInYaEye 11 ай бұрын
Toxic people are those that you feel kind of bad after talking to, right?
@pinktumbleweed123 11 ай бұрын
You walk away like ewww that conversation went sideways .. like i need a shower now lol.. wasn't wholesome & healthy. Didn't feel uplifting.
@Gloria_All_Day 11 ай бұрын
Yes, most of the time. If you don't dismiss that feeling like I have done many times in the past.
@Greenwings701 11 ай бұрын
They can make you feel like you didn't belong in the world (or particular community, group, etc.) all along, you just didn't figure it until you met this lovely person (untrue, of course). @@pinktumbleweed123
@SuperKarineka 11 ай бұрын
Absolutely yes. That is your intuition. If you feel drained, weighted down frustrated, confused, angry etc. All negative feelings after talking and being around a person consistently, those are all warning signs. I experienced this for sometime and didn't understand why, until I created distance from the person, and began to see things more clearly...I wished I would have created distance earlier on because the longer you are around toxic individuals the more harm done, but don't worry. Lessons like these make you wiser and stronger. Wish you all the best!
@PutSumDirtInYaEye 11 ай бұрын
@@SuperKarinekathanks, you too!
@mschlund1 10 ай бұрын
Control! It's all about control, because they know how weak they truly are but want people to think they are somehow above them.
@tinalettieri 11 ай бұрын
Interrogating questions: my parents were separated. My narcissist mother never overtly spoke ill of my father but "generously allowed" him unlimited visitation. Every time he and I would go out, when I got home it was the third degree until I was in tears then she'd lower the boom. "See, everytime you're with him HE MAKES YOU CRY!" No it was her interrogation that made me cry but her fixed idea was that he was a manipulator and abusive, when in fact, that was her.
@erikawithee 11 ай бұрын
Sounds familiar
@electricLuLuland 11 ай бұрын
My momster did the same thing...& she'd say "you're not angry at me, you're angry at your father!" Fkn psycho.
@michaelsawyer158 11 ай бұрын
"Leading questions." "Rhetorical questions."
@godzillamanstreb524 11 ай бұрын
Happened to my scapegoated husband also….relentless ??? everytime he visited dad
@erikawithee 11 ай бұрын
@@godzillamanstreb524 it’s pure hell on earth
@janeyjoesmith2127 10 ай бұрын
Don’t answer a narcissist. The best response ( besides silence ) is the statement, “ I’m not taking questions today, thank you.”
@jadeblackwell6227 10 ай бұрын
I don’t answer AT ALL and I am still the bad guy. My mom will say “ you are ignoring me!”
@hotdog1214 10 ай бұрын
Sadly doesn't work either, if I don't answer or limit my answer to very short sentences to avoid being pulled in, like 'yes or no' , my dad will bark back 'is there a problem?' or 'is something wrong?" - not in a caring way but an accusatory way as he tilts his head - because I haven't answered or answered in the 'wrong tone'. 🙄🙄 Its a no win scenario.
@mstrcarnivore 6 ай бұрын
When I refuse to answer my narc, she says your like talking to a wall 😂
@ashli8884 11 ай бұрын
I literally JUST went through this a few weekends ago, spot on. A lot of gaslighting and trying to get you to question your reality, a lot of blame shifting and mind twisting. Just terrible.
@lighton365 10 ай бұрын
Mindtwisting for sure!!!
@ashli8884 10 ай бұрын
@@lighton365 Sadly!
@surlyrabitt1253 10 ай бұрын
this is why I drive myself, or dont go...will never be at the mercy of anyone elses driving
@writer1986 10 ай бұрын
Amen. Narcissists ask questions to get the answer they're already looking for, and to "seem nice." Then they immediately walk away because they're not interested in having a conversation with you, just a dialogue with themselves and an ego boost... For example: my husband's narcissistic mother asks me the same questions every time we visit, which tells me she's not interested nor listening, just playing a "nice person" role. And when I don't give her the response she's looking for, she immediately turns sour and walks away (and I didn't even say anything mean or offensive).
@pinktumbleweed123 11 ай бұрын
I will never forget. We went shopping and I bought 4 people something I think they would like & bought him 4 t shirts. Nothing for myself (well a cup) Later that evening he said I was the most selfish person .. huh!? It was like he was portraying what he thought about himself. These ppl are ver strange for sure! THANKS FOR YOUR VIDEOS!! STRONGER EVERY DAY!
@allanfischer9417 10 ай бұрын
Your narcissist provided you with two lessons here: Projection and they are ALWAYS the victim!
@Carolinekatongo 4 ай бұрын
That is now madness if not very advanced narcissistic personality disorder. Wishing u well.
@alectrona1613 10 ай бұрын
What’s wrong with you? and What’s the matter with you? and the pick of the crop, the cold sarcastic, You’re just my little ray of sunshine, aren’t you? were my narc mother’s favourites. As a kid, hearing these constantly, left me bewildered as I couldn’t articulate how I felt or have much insight into where they were coming from. I knew she didn’t like me. I never shed a tear when she died. I subsequently married a narc and lived through a further 20 years of devaluing. Divorced and 30 years on I now have self worth, self esteem and a happy heart. Thank you to YT contributors such as you, and readers’ comments, I have knowledge and insight into this evil energy and seeing it coming, the barricades can go up :)
@CheerMom17 10 ай бұрын
I heard that and more. Like I love me who do you love? Mocking me when I liked my outfit or something on me. She would also repeat what I said in funny voices back to me and tell me my hair looked ugly. I have 2 daughters and we are best friends. I ‘m in therapy again to try and understand why I was treated different than my sister. She may regret it now but we’re old now and she showed my kids her true self because they are teens now. You’re not alone.
@justsayit476 10 ай бұрын
The inability to just have a nice conversation with my husband. He would almost always turn a simple conversation into a debate which would result in us arguing due to me having a difference of opinion. In the end I avoided deep conversations and kept it surface, I would feel so insignificant and stupid
@SuperKarineka 11 ай бұрын
Great video. Thanks for sharing, in my experience, narcissist will ask highly personal and intrusive questions very early on.
@brightspacebabe 10 ай бұрын
That and they want to see your shocked face!😂I had a psycho narcissistic ex-co-worker tell me TMI about her decline with her husband 2 minutes after meeting me. Sick people
@lighton365 10 ай бұрын
They will ask intrusive questions but would never answer any questions like that themselves.
@nancydunn5241 10 ай бұрын
I think it is a test. They are testing to see if we react the way they want. Testing to see if we would be pliable. My new boyfriend once asked if I wanted to go to the movies that night. I was with him and his cousin, and we had our hair up in rollers because we were going to aunt Jane’s for dinner that night. I said no, we are already going to aunt Jane’s. He said he thought I would like the movie better. ( he’s thinking of what I wanted. Not!) I said I’m not backing out of my commitment. I can go to the movies any other night this week. How about tomorrow night?? No. That’s not good enough. That wouldn’t be the same. I never could understand that conversation until now. He was testing me to see how pliable I was. He could have gone to aunt Jane’s with us but no, I had to change my plans to suit him. And we never went to the movies. Glad I got away.
@jiayouchinese 10 ай бұрын
My narcissistic father used to try and pit me against my siblings, and he would ask suspect questions like "do you think you or your brother are better at your job?"...I would never answer these questions, but he did a great job of making my siblings hate me with a passion for no reason other than me being the scapegoat.
@JebidiahKrackedyetagain-xv9hc 10 ай бұрын
Too bad your parents weren't "Mike and Carol Brady"🤣🤣
@Raebrained 10 ай бұрын
Omg we must have the same father!
@theripper1705 5 ай бұрын
Moi aussi :(
@saraho1621 7 ай бұрын
My narc did the same line of interrogation questions multiple times a day, every day for 7 years. He got to the point where he would even give me the specific way I had to say the answer. Living with a true narc is absolutely soul destroying, they literally destroy you as a person
@laurengarrett9005 11 ай бұрын
My ex would always do this and prefaced his question with "let me ask you something" in an accusing manner. And you are right he always had the answer in his head of what he already accused me of. He didnt really want me to answer honestly.
@hannahl5663 10 ай бұрын
I have a bad habit of deflecting questions because of growing up with a narcissist dad. I will be vague or like “…why do you wanna know?” because answering question from my dad always meant an attack was about to follow. This is terrible when someone is asking a genuine question. The simplest question like “do we have peanut butter?” or “where’s mom?” could launch a shitstorm of epic proportions so I would always say “I don’t know.”
@joshuasmith9350 10 ай бұрын
amazing how vague people are unable to understand why people would become frustrated with them . the vague calls it interrogation
@deadparrot5953 10 ай бұрын
@@joshuasmith9350People will be deliberately vague when they know that every answer is the wrong answer and every question is a potential attack.
@JebidiahKrackedyetagain-xv9hc 7 ай бұрын
Those 3 words are good to say even if one "does" say (or even THINKS) they "know".... 1. I 2. don't 3. know More people should learn to master the pronunciation of these three words, even if they are NATIVE English speakers. Try it with me together "I. don't. know"........ EASY PEASY eh? "Funny" then how people will literally MAKE UP shit as they go along instead of simply saying those three simple words. Of course like this commentator "Hannah5663" has pointed out, those three words can also be used as a "tool" to either get assholes off your back, or to even prevent them from asking more stupid questions or even SMART questions that MIGHT NOT BE ANY OF THEIR DAMN BUSINESS???!!" 🙄🤣🤣🤣
@donnayork4533 10 ай бұрын
I've searched so many times for "when questions are insults". Finally I see this which explains my sisters so well.
@Magdalene41 11 ай бұрын
There’s also the covert loaded question, you can tell it has an insult baked in but you can’t exactly call it out. It requires 2 more steps to get to the actual insult. Then when you’re tangled up in word salad they pull the knife and hit you below the belt.
@Lyrielonwind 11 ай бұрын
They also ask you a question and don't allow you to answer it. Then, another question and another interruption...on and on until you are confused and tired (but you don't know why).
@Magdalene41 10 ай бұрын
@@Lyrielonwind Yes! And then it’s “Oh so now you have anger problems”. I’m starting to have some fun with it tbh. I have started giving very direct answers with no explanation and not caring how it makes me look. I can tell it angers them but they don’t want to explode and expose how insane they truly are. But when that happens it’ll be my door out.
@kaitlincox9714 10 ай бұрын
Yes. You know they insulting you but when you say what they are doing they look at you like you have 2 heads. He says I'm always angry.
@SunflowerEyes252 9 ай бұрын
Accurate
@clairekyriakou591 11 ай бұрын
Exactly!! No matter what the question is, they already have the answer made up in their sick head, (allways against you) they just want you to admit whatever is in their mind. And if someday you find it pointless to answer since they re not interested in hearing the truth, they rage against you and they blame you for avoiding answering cause you re guilty...😂 So they proove themselves right from the beginning..!!😂
@Lyrielonwind 11 ай бұрын
Tell them it's a tricky question. (I have been looking "capciosa" but that's the translation I have got).
@lighton365 10 ай бұрын
That's exactly what I'm experiencing! Shoving her opinions down my throat! I can hardly hear myself think! So tiresome! How to end it? without the III world war happening!!😢
@clairekyriakou591 10 ай бұрын
@@lighton365 its a waste of time. She is not able to listen, to think to accept your point of view, your feelings, your worries. Remember, they have NO empathy. No ability to understand you at all. No care for your needs and feelings. Nothing at all. Its only you that is trying to understand them, to suit their needs, to make the relationship work. It sounds harsh, i m sorry friend, i feel you, but you re wasting your time, your energy, you re destroying your health bit by bit. Mental and physical. Your body is screaming but you dont hear it...your mind knows the reality too but you avoid to run away. My friend, you have two options...if you stay you sign your death contract. If you run you choose your life. Yes its hard but day by day you ll find one more reason to love your life... Please choose your life before its too late..😥
@clairekyriakou591 10 ай бұрын
@@-yi9mu of course they do. In their sick fantastic senario you are the one to blame for everything. Even there is no proof for your guilt even if there is evidence for your innocense, there is no apology,, instead they will quickly come up with an other fantastic senario thats against you again.🤣 And you find yourself not knowing what hit you again, you re confused, stuck, fed up with this sense of unfair, trying all the time to proove yourself innocent for things you didnt even crossed your mind to do...!! You ll be accused you went to places you never did, said things you never said, met people you dont even know, went out and cheated even if you were sleeping in your bed, thoughts of having multiple sexual partners even if you re a deeply loyal person... you ll be also accused of having friends or other people in your life that may love you...thats a threat...you shouldn t be loved from others cause then you ll be harder for the narc to manipulate you.. Do you see the point..? This is NOT love...😉
@collet214 10 ай бұрын
they have an answer already in their head but ask anyway
@julierivera450 10 ай бұрын
My inlaws would bombard me with nonstop questions, smirking all the while. I called the questions "I don't know questions" because they chose questions they knew I probably didn't have answers for. They wanted me to repeat, "I don't know". I learned to form my answers in a way to respect myself.
@FlavioMarceloSousa35 10 ай бұрын
Best (only?) way to deal with narcissists is to despise them. Ignore them, don't even answer their questions, block them on your cell phone. Double benefit: you will preserve your mental health and drive them crazy.
@jeffsmith8197 10 ай бұрын
My older brother is a narcissist who is a master of rapid-fire interrogation questions which are pointless. I learned to ignore him when he does that and that takes the wind out of his sails. He does that and also everything you do or say is automatically deemed 'stupid', foolish, and just plain wrong. If you mention you are going to a certain auto dealership he will instantly say that they are the biggest thieves in the state. If you buy something he'll instantly say that it's the biggest POS on Earth and/or it's overpriced. When my brother starts his demeaning BS I immediately hang the phone up, walk away from him or drive away. He's 76 and has no friends so he tries to pull his crap on me, but I won't let him.
@HeavyK. 10 ай бұрын
They are looking for weaknesses to exploit and resources to harvest.
@kimbuchanan4714 6 ай бұрын
My husband MUST control the conversation, he MUST always be right and will argue until he is, he MUST always have the last word, he will argue until he gets it, he hates being interrupted but interrupts me ALL the time. anything I have to say is not important enough for him to respond to. he NEVER answers my questions with a simple yes or no. he talks a LOT, repeats himself a LOT and he gets mad at being told that. I can go on and on.
@ImBetty352 10 ай бұрын
Spot on! My ex-narc would say to me and others things such as “you do know how microwave ovens work, don’t you”? Or “you do know what causes hurricanes, don’t you?” After the responder would say “no, I don’t “, then the narc would launch into a lengthy explanation which of course was to impress us and let us know how smart he is. All the while, us responders are silently thinking, “no, Mr. know-it-all, we don’t know anything; why don’t you explain it to us poor, stupid people”. He didn’t have any awareness he was covertly insulting us (or maybe he did?). It used to make my blood boil to hear him do this when we were together, but not together anymore!🎉🎉🎉🎉
@havanesemommom6912 10 ай бұрын
27 years of marriage and I only recently have determined my husband is a tried and true narcissist - checks all the boxes. In our youth so much hid it now that we are middle aged it is front and centre.
@anniebo8535 11 ай бұрын
Gosh. This is deep. My God. Thank you for this. I think back...and I shiver at how true this is/was.
@allanfischer9417 10 ай бұрын
Want to mess with them a little? Answer with a question like: If they ask you " Why did you blah, blah.... respond with "I give up.... why" or "Don't know do ya?" or "Wouldn't tell you if I did" or "What would you do with that information?"
@taotaostrong 10 ай бұрын
You’re describing cross examination in an adversarial proceeding. That’s exactly what they do. They interrogate for information that they can use against you later.
@MrRicehard 11 ай бұрын
If somebody asks you 'You think you are better than everybody else? Don't you.' Smile and reply. 'Only those I am better than.' :)
@MayBlake_Channel 10 ай бұрын
"You think you're better than me?" Me: Well, I didn't. But with a question like that, I'm starting to think I might be
@ericdelf 10 ай бұрын
I would answer YES. (A stupid answer to a stupid question.)
@laraparks7018 11 ай бұрын
They question you like a lawyer; leading the witness ..and answer questions, with questions;,to deflect your attention back to you, and off them. Deflection 0rojection Coercion ugh
@Lyrielonwind 11 ай бұрын
I agree.
@diannawalker9021 10 ай бұрын
Zip
@laurenhamilton3537 10 ай бұрын
Jordan Peterson is a great intellectual who is fighting for our basic right of free speech.
@lukrosimeon1498 3 ай бұрын
You really hit the nail on the head this time, Royal. "These are not questions that belong in an intimate relationship." Which is what makes narcissists so hurtful: they pose as a genuine friend, then start with the demeaning questions. I made the foolish mistake of slipping into a "friendship" with a nondenominational pastor who turned out to be a freak like this. One time, as we sat down to pray for each other at a fellowship meeting, he suddenly asked me, "Are you bored?" I asked him what he meant. Did I seem bored? Did my life seem boring to him? Was HE bored? He just shrugged and never explained why he asked. I later realized that he enjoyed causing confusion and self-doubt. He asked other questions like the one above. A young pastor. A pure snake. How will he ever find correction if he's already leading God's children? The only solution I can think of is to pray for him -- or pray AGAINST him -- from a great, great distance.
@Refundplease-Ihavetherec-gb2hj 11 ай бұрын
Hi Kevin. I watched your “Let the Narcissists hate you for this” video where you mentioned (paraphrasing). “You don’t have to give two weeks notice if you’re in a toxic workplace.” From personal experience i agree. NOTE: Each person has to make their own choice on how to deal with the matter. Anyway, 😢the treatment from both narc bosses and coworkers can be so brutal and merciless that affects your health They treat you poorly and are showing you that they WANT YOU. OUT but expect you to” stay and help with the transition”. Disloyal people want loyalty. They don’t even care if you or your loved ones are sick. Yes. Bills have to be paid but if you don’t have your health you cannot work
@Lyrielonwind 11 ай бұрын
I gave my boss two weeks notice to quit, verbally. I was going back to my country. He said the notice should be on writing (English is not my native language) and he was not nice; implying I couldn't write. I wrote down the notice I was quitting. I think he didn't bother to look for anyone since in my last day (he was even more obnoxious than usual during those two week) of work he asked me to stay another two weeks. When I said no to him, he reacted like if I had punched his face 😂. He was shocked and even trembling.
@LashayneHampton 10 ай бұрын
It’s always an eyebrow raised during the interrogation and then straight negativity when they get the answer
@beaglerescue5281 10 ай бұрын
Their questions are leads to what they want to learn about you, accuse you of or to entrap.
@mariposa1933 4 ай бұрын
This video is great! Them being uninterested should trigger your INDIFFERENCE. All I see is their HORNS every time they do this. Now I’m in a place of I think they’re clowns, I don’t engage, I laugh and pray for them. They’re insane!
@FlavioMarceloSousa35 10 ай бұрын
'What's wrong with you?' Narcissists will provoke you and then ask this.
@annstar2793 10 ай бұрын
This is the first video I’ve seen on this topic. He did this- would interrogate me repeatedly with the same questions about previous relationships every time we talked. It was exhausting.
@ilashankar9031 10 ай бұрын
You hit the best source, likely! You've got an excellent checklist here!👍
@tunneltu 5 ай бұрын
“You’re not that smart, are you?” You’re not really that good at this, are you?”
@Greenwings701 11 ай бұрын
I want to {Heart} this. The question is their commentary (insult). They are typically condescending or plain contemptuous, or merely disdainful. They fancy getting the best of you, of reducing you slowly. Don't engage or just turn the question on them. Could call them out before you do, though, and tell them to ask you a genuine question!
@lisah1687 10 ай бұрын
My boss is a god damn master chef.....constantly baking stuff into everything she says! now I get why I feel like she just talks AT me, and sets me up to say what she wants to hear... an actual conversation never happens. Thank you!
@Sissy317 11 ай бұрын
Kevin, This question has been stated to me: “I want our relationship it to be like it use to be Mom” After she attacked me verbally when I was basically going through the lowest time in my life. I contemplated leaving this miserable world. I was also told I was having a pity party this came from my daughter who I raised single and did the best I could as I was so broke. If not for my church family my girls and I would be homeless. My “Family” never offered to help because of their Father he beat me and they all couldn’t understand why I stayed. Trauma and it’s 30 years later and I’m 61 now and these same daughters I truly believe could care less about me and it broke my heart, I mean what parent expects that…God is healing me but man that experience was like the “Twilight Zone” . I had no clue and I use to always believe all people were good with good intentions however from experiences now I trust no one except my Heavenly Father. I raised them and did a GREAT job. It is okay with my Soul now. It’s a hard pill to swallow. I give God all the glory for all he has blessed me with. Either way I praise God. ❤
@VgVi13 10 ай бұрын
I'm with ya, it hurts. sorry you had to go thru it.
@surlyrabitt1253 10 ай бұрын
sadly apples dont fall far from the tree, not your tree, his you deserve all the love you can accept and more! You are so right. God is the ONLY reason I have an idea of what love is, at all. I'm also 60 and send you a peace that passes understanding
@beaglerescue5281 10 ай бұрын
I can totally relate. My daughter berated me on the phone calling me hateful and a lot of other nonsensical things. When she was done I remained quiet and then slowly said something like “I’m going to hang up.” Her response was “Okay. Well, I love you.”-in a sweet voice. 🤦♀️ If someone loves you would you know it?
@MeadeFatLoss 10 ай бұрын
Many leftists try to corner Jordan Peterson with a "gotcha " question, and they fail .
@cindymccafferty8346 10 ай бұрын
I find that people who say these things want to gather information to use against you later. Throwing accusations at you from something that happened in the past. I’ve also had people who are busybodies and gossips try to get info to talk about me to others. The truth is stretched and full of lies. My son asks these people: Why are you talking to me? My answer is: I make it a point not to talk about personal things in my life. Business only while I’m at work. Or…….I make it a point not to talk about religion or politics. And my favorite…..why are you asking me? Why do you want to know? Don’t give people ammunition to use against you.
@MarkAble8 Ай бұрын
Their questions aren’t actually questions for clarification or understanding. Their questions are misdirections, intended to infiltrate your clarity and self confidence. Misdirections… a deception many victims do not see, as people of the lie are masters of escaping what’s true.
@christineribone9351 10 ай бұрын
It's an interrogation. You are expected to prove and provide evidence. All the while it's never enough to convince the interrogator. His mind is already made up. The questions are not to resolve a problem or cooperate. They're goal is to blame and corner you.
@user-qv9nw1dq2f 8 ай бұрын
Spot on Kevin. Almost everything narcisistic people do is insulting and disrespectful. They behave in nasty and disgusting ways.
@feliciajoy2264 10 ай бұрын
Thank you. He's been doing this to me . These are NOT NORMAL QUESTIONS. AND THEIR QUESTIONS ARE WAY OUT OF LINE
@Dee-mj3pu 11 ай бұрын
Interrogating questions! Narc would also make a statement they wanted me to refute.
@Lyrielonwind 11 ай бұрын
They check the water to see if you have values (if you don't look like you do; they discard you). They are looking for people with conciousness. If someone you don't know (who is narcissistic) wants to find out if you are empathetic, they may yawn before approaching you. Yawning after someone else yawned happens due to your mirror neurons (they don't have as many or very few, not sure).
@0xsergy 10 ай бұрын
@@Lyrielonwindyou can also suppress that yawn thing. I dunno why I started doing it, prolly something along the lines of what you mentioned
@marlounsly 10 ай бұрын
They ask questions like that on purpose. And when you answer truthfully they don’t accept your actual truth ?? They fight it because they wanted your response to prove that you’re bad
@dolittle6781 7 ай бұрын
Love your focus on this amazing topic, which receives far too little attention. Never really thought that narcissistic abuse expressed itself in the form of questions. Always knew certain types of inquiries sounded hostile, but that it was all about hostility, not narcissism. Now I know much more about how to classify "hostile questions” so I basically won’t just turn and walk away feeling hurt but can cut such people out of my life or use other tools to shut them down. This video is very helpful.
@hd-be7di 11 ай бұрын
That's all she did... attack with questions. The question is a weapon... there is an assumption behind it & it's not about the answer... it's really a statement exactly like you explain it.
@ralphrotten9030 10 ай бұрын
Only those who have lived this really get it. I’ve tried to explain with only 1 or 2 folks over the years understanding
@Czarna_Owca_Black_Sheep 10 ай бұрын
I just discovered that my sister is narcissist person. She always asking interrogating questions with that policeman's tone. And she never accept any positivity in my life. When me and my husband we bought our house, she said: I am wondering if you would have money if you didn't have petrol. (I am living now in Saudi Arabia, but originally I'm from Poland). This words hurt me a lot. Back then I didn't know she's narcissist. Thank you so much for the video!
@titanharper7184 10 ай бұрын
They definitely use questions as a way to try and figure you out it’s easier to control you if they know your life
@annastaciaparker2902 6 ай бұрын
This video gives me the words for my emotions when dealing with Narcissistic family members...
@babylonisfallen5142 10 ай бұрын
Or they project. They assume their view is the same as yours. They won’t let you disagree, (as if they know the real truth and you’re lying), until you just give up. They won’t take “no” for an answer.
@ModelFrankie 9 ай бұрын
Now this makes sense. I was very confused by the questions because if I didn’t answer the way he wanted; it would upset him. But when I pointed out that he didn’t like my answer; he got upset. Especially when I said “it’s your narrative; you tell me.” As a way of me giving up on trying to answer his questions.
@beckystrohl5539 10 ай бұрын
The most often question I got was "What? Can't you take a joke?"
@edemontfort9482 10 ай бұрын
Every question I got from my narc was asked in an accusatory tone. "I know you didn't stop and pick up that package like I asked, did you?" If you ignore the question that sets off a rage. Sometimes I'll say, " Why are you asking me that?" or "why do you want to know?" Asking something back usually throws him off-balance. There's no easy way dealing with a narcissist.
@life.re-defined 11 ай бұрын
One of your best videos ever Kevin. thx
@donnayork4533 10 ай бұрын
All of this plus any answer i gave, (past tense cause I've gone gray rock), was critiqued, scrutinized, and debated. It was all to make me look and feel inadaquate in the presence of their greatness. My sisters that is....
@gaurs230 10 ай бұрын
Thank you my whole life I felt like I’m dealing with narcissistic parents and honestly speaking it’s not my fault that I’m too innocent
@justmontina 2 ай бұрын
This is hilarious! This video describes a narcissistic person I deal with to the tee! Wow. It is spot on and I love reading the comments from the community. You can either stay and put up with it, leave or fight back with the knowledge and understanding you gained from watching these videos. I’m a Game of Thrones type of person so, let the games begin!😂
@justmontina 2 ай бұрын
GOD BLESS YOU! Thank you so much for creating these videos. Oh my goodness. Wow! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
@blessed7927 10 ай бұрын
This is SO HELPFUL! Thank you Kevin! “Are you that sensitive” question was very clear for me and helps me realize they are leading you to admit guilt and get you in a negative space and I can identify why the question make me annoyed!
@mschlund1 10 ай бұрын
It is a waste of our time to allow them to interrogate, this one friend always made it feel like I was in a job interview, she was also very bossy, treating people like they were her personal assistants
@fearless7989 11 ай бұрын
Had a narcissist man who would ask me questions about "if we could do so-and-so during sex" - he would ask these questions cold, like in the middle of a conversation about something else. Our sex life sucked, because he was always just trying to get me to do things he knew I didn't want, or I hadn't asked for. He wasn't turned on by the normal things, he wasn't turned on by observing his partner's signals/body during the act. He would always just ask questions "hey can we do 'this' next time?" "hey would you like me to do this next time?" and it would be odd things I had never asked for. The thing was, I would say no to most of these things, or simply not act interested in them. This wouldn't stop him though. He would bring it up again a month or two later, to see he had worn me down, or during a time when he was doing me a favor, to see if I would succumb in order to "repay him" or whatever. I'm so glad I'm not with him anymore. I get a feeling of disgust just thinking about him. But yeah - always interrogational questions and challenging questions, and uncomfortable questions.
@Lyrielonwind 11 ай бұрын
Your guts feeling is on now. Our instincts awake once we are away.
@alyssawoodman 10 ай бұрын
It's sounds like he watched alot of porn and wanted to act out what he saw.
@thenewyorkcitizen 10 ай бұрын
Narcs love getting people to do things they don't want to do. They try to get you to compromise yourself, that's what they get off on.
@womanatthewell9603 10 ай бұрын
My narc husband really gets off hearing anything sexual about my past and loves to hear how “bad” I am. What a joke, he needs material to think about in order to actually enjoy sex. I tell him I don’t have any material and he is constantly wearing me down and bringing up sexual past. Disgusting. I’m glad you are out!!
@christinamorrison6687 10 ай бұрын
@alyssawoodman mine did, a lot of porn. He always wanted to be taken care of sexually and did nothing in return. Also constantly wanted anal. Never gave in. Glad I left that relationship.
@iamhere3442 10 ай бұрын
A friend became an X friend, when she asked me what I was going to do on vacation. When I told her she said, “So that’s how you spent your money.” She was more concerned about my money then I was. She was looking for something to criticize me.
@Kelli2200 10 ай бұрын
Thank God you posted this. I was always so confused as to why I got so mad when my narc parents ask me questions. They always thought I had the attitude problem. Now I understand what I was onto when I felt so provoked by their questions all my life. Bingo.
@Shindai 10 ай бұрын
What bugs me most about being asked these questions is how often I'll be interrupted while trying to answer, so I never get to feel like an equal part of the discussion. Had this a lot in my last flat, half the people in the block were complete assholes. Another good sign you're not being asked in good faith, not being allowed to actually answer questions.
@masaniazura2131 10 ай бұрын
"What church do you go to?" us my mom's red flag question in the middle of a conversation that has nothing to do with religion. If you are not in her religion, you are livingvwrong...a sinner. My cue to end the conversation and hang up the phone. Note: She had my brother call me to access me, then took the phone in the middle of our conversation about finances.
@lucillekluivert343 11 ай бұрын
MY ABUSIVE BIRTH GIVER DIDNT ASKED QUESTIONS SHE FELT ENTITLED TO DO AS SHE PLEASED ,AND MY EX DIDNT ASKED QUESTIONS EITHER HE HATED MY STRENGHT AND WANTED TO BE IN CONTROL BUT I SAID GOD IS IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE WHAT MADE HIM MORE ANGRY ,THEY DONT TO ASK STRONG PEOPLE QUESTIONS THE SPIRIT IN THE STRONG PERSON IS TRIGGERING THEIR DEMONS THATS WHY THEY ACT OUT AND RAGE OUT AND DO EVIL TO THOSE WHO ARE STRONGER THAN THEM
@WoziduranJahemter 10 ай бұрын
Ask them also, they can't stand deepth thoughtful questions, but be aware that they react nastly, so be aware.
@samiam7846 11 ай бұрын
Wow… I feel this line of questioning. I fought back and we shall see…
@cindynimmo 10 ай бұрын
Questions often are ones they know the answer to and are about to twist the answer into a segue for their agenda.
@theresayoung2879 10 ай бұрын
When my husband USED to always ask me, why are you doing this or that or, doing it THIS WAY or THAT WAY? FINALLY I caught on and my response was ALWAYS "why ask why? That works so GOOD!! Please give it a try. He didn't like it, but that is the ONLY answer I would give. Didn't take long for him to realize his little sick game didn't work anymore and he stopped that nonsense. I am very strong willed and don't put up with that garbage from anyone.
@BrianKlumker 4 ай бұрын
My mother would always ask me a question and only hear her own opinion for the answer, regardless of of the actual answer
@annhaney8014 6 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing this as this really resonated with me regarding a very narcissistic twin sister that I have. She is jealous, always attempting to dominate and control and I always sensed and knew that her questions were not about care, concern, attempting to get to know me....I sensed on a gut level that it definitely wasn't because she cared but because she was attempting to glean information to gossip with other family members, dominate, control. They were also really strange questions at times. She also likes to call me up and attempts to pick fights with me. It always felt so creepy. I do not trust her at all and tell her nothing about my life and never introduce her to any friends. She lies and I don't have a real relationship with her and don't see her very often at all because I don't trust her and don't see the point. She is also a strong "Christian". She tells me that she loves me but I literally have a negative visceral reaction when she states this as I know it is not true. Please keep sharing your videos as I am sure that they help others to identify behaviors and attitudes to be aware of so that they can protect themselves from the damage that they inflict upon others. Once you see the lies and manipulation, you know that there is no point in being around them.
@TJMoolTricia 10 ай бұрын
Absolutely my sibling, and what she has pulled all my life-and now betraying me though I have it in writing, around executorship, and inheritance split, and gaslighting and blaming me when I called her out. it feels so so good to do NOTHING and to UNHOOK. The grief work, loss, and healing are mine. But Im deeply oroud that I traversed all the legal manipulation, and was so wise and prudent in standing in reality, no matter how much they contort, rationalize, dismiss, blame, diminish and lie. I never have to be ensnared in that again. It will take time to heal this, I feel like I’ve been through so much emotional toxicity, but I will and am finding my way back to my joy. with or without the family I hoped to have.
@margaretohara7250 11 ай бұрын
As the song says "0h Lord, it's hard to to be humble when you are perfect in every way😊😊😊 Perhaps we respond with humor and walk away. Why waste so much time with this type of behavior.
@momikal2238 10 ай бұрын
Oh wow. Thanks for reminding me of that song! So funny.
@margaretohara7250 10 ай бұрын
@@momikal2238you are welcome. Bring humor to life - you will be happy.
@mschlund1 10 ай бұрын
I simply do not reply at all anymore..let them stew in the silence of no response, their own insecurity will eat them up inside.
@nettahart102 7 ай бұрын
👏🏽 👏🏽 👏🏽 this happened recently and my spirit lost 😡 it 😔 I’m broken 😭 Thank You 🙏🏽 for sharing. Now I get a call almost 😢daily
@joannturi3968 4 ай бұрын
They also like to try to have you answer your own questions like in a therapist session. They're the judge, the jury and the executioner. Trust me but when confronted with the truth they don't have a leg to stand on.
@GreenBean3141 5 ай бұрын
Been with a narc 21 yrs now and I just don’t care anymore. He still asks me trap questions and my responses are now, “ you must be slow in your old age or are blind when the answer is obviously right in front of your face. “ or “ why you asking me such a dumb question “ or when he goes into the long rant of explaining something I interrupt and say I’m losing interest in what your saying please get to the point. He used to threaten to leave me and I would beg him to stay and now I straight up tell him there’s the door if I’m so bad, your more than welcome to go find someone else. He doesn’t know what to do now because he has dragged me through the mud put me through hell our kids are grown so he has nothing left to hold over my head and control me with.
@CECC704 6 ай бұрын
I have heared all of these from the most heart breaking people. People I thought loved me including family. It so hurts my feelings I’ve had to just let go.
@rturney6376 10 ай бұрын
Excellent!!! It is subtle things like 👍 this that a bystander would miss and think you are overreacting. But, it is very directed.
@worldsyoursent.1635 10 ай бұрын
The last narc I dealt with exposed themselves all they way the moment they asked me “are you better than me”. As I stared into they’re eyes 👀 saying nothin looking confused. Then they scrapped that question 😂 and went for another one in their pocket full of lies
@0xsergy 10 ай бұрын
It was a weird one for sure. I think I told him "only at stuff I've put a ton of practice into". I'm good at what I'm good at, that's it Mine would hide his traits though, pretended to not care what others thought
@worldsyoursent.1635 10 ай бұрын
@@0xsergy ohh maan. That was a good answer from you😂. Shaming them with the truth it’s the best to push them away. They don’t want to be accountable for themselves. They pretend not to care. Because they care the most. They are the most insecure thing that’s walked the planet
@BeautifulDreamerK 9 ай бұрын
When I was first dating my husband, he happened to be living at his parents house. I already felt unwelcome by their previous interactions but he assured me and invited me over. I had dinner before hand. I showed up, said hello and was polite. He was still eating dinner. She never responded to my hello and did not say a word. Instead of offering she said, “….so is my cooking not good enough for you?” Super rude and I think it was meant to throw me off. Luckily, I didn’t show a reaction and said, “thank you but no thanks, I already ate before coming here.” Her kids noticed and said nothing. Looking back, I wish I could’ve excused myself and just went home but what happened was i went to sit on the couch until my husband was ready and we were off. Another time she asked me, “…so is your salary based off a nurse’s salary?” Clever- it’s let me ask you how much you make without asking you directly
AnythingAlexia
Рет қаралды 17 МЛН
ОВР Шоу
Рет қаралды 8 МЛН
Memorizing Scripture
Рет қаралды 10
RICHARD GRANNON
Рет қаралды 2,3 МЛН
Michele Lee Nieves Coaching
Рет қаралды 899 М.