Ep. 131 | 2 Bears, 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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Күн бұрын

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On this week's episode of "2 Bears, 1 Cave," Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer discuss Bert's inability to keep a secret, jigsaw puzzles, racing Caeleb Dressel, why Bert should be a Speedo spokesperson, and "Jackass Forever." Bert recalls partying with Johnny Knoxville in the 90s, and the two FaceTime Steve-O
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Пікірлер: 1 200

@JK-ku6cq 2 жыл бұрын

The only good thing about Monday is another episode of “Bart talks and Tom makes faces”

@Betty-Boop809 2 жыл бұрын

Try Bad Friends, it’s so much more entertaining and everyone contributes.

@Muckwickett 2 жыл бұрын

Like jim from the office

@82PeRK 2 жыл бұрын

Yeah that's been old for years now

@funnydonor9484 2 жыл бұрын

They jumped the shark two years ago. Tom doesn’t have the moxie to take the show over for even a minute. He not funny

@ExistentialBordem 2 жыл бұрын

@@Betty-Boop809 Amen

@sentientcardboarddumpster7900 2 жыл бұрын

I wonder how Bert drew his family when he was a kid. I bet he's really big and everyone else is tiny and he even forgot someone

@jarnold1789 2 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@skyetyga2585 2 жыл бұрын

This is good and hella original 😂

@danielmeuler2877 2 жыл бұрын

I would bet that you are 100% rite.

@BadGoyz4Life 2 жыл бұрын

It would be just him and his parents are like Superman and Marilyn Monroe and he shows the entire school

@briananderson7071 2 жыл бұрын

😂

@bananaboy444 2 жыл бұрын

I missed when Tom would open episodes by implying Brent was racist but he took care of it himself this time

@VideoNozoki 2 жыл бұрын

Same. WISH Tim would continue those. Tim: "You _can't_ say they're not allowed to vote. It is already a law.... " Brett: "Have we started recording? Oh, you fuq'r! You got me again."

@victoriamcfarland8408 2 жыл бұрын

Y P Puf P Yup

@oneteetx 2 жыл бұрын

@@VideoNozoki see wx

@flying_nimbus7852 2 жыл бұрын

"Hey what's up you f***in...stupid" should be a greeting for everybody lol

@darrellwilliams1714 2 жыл бұрын

That shit cracked me up

@jamespowers.gpa. 2 жыл бұрын

Hahah yes! That had me rolling! Lol

@bri7506 2 жыл бұрын

So it's not appropriate??

@007meechy9 2 жыл бұрын

bert heard “out of pocket” once and can’t stop saying it 😭who’s gonna tell him how late he is? 🤣

@gregbaker3710 2 жыл бұрын

Love how Bart uses his LeeAnn voice for the puzzle girl 😂

@breadlytoasted 2 жыл бұрын

Steve-o is maybe the coolest guy ever to get famous. "You called because you want me to call my multimillionaire friend so you can ask him a dumb ass question? Happy to do it man thanks for thinking about me"

@kalelobe5710 2 жыл бұрын

Time stamp?

@8thlvlMage 2 жыл бұрын

Bert called Stev-O and Tom got a pocket dial from Hannibal Buress. Two different worlds lol! What a wild podcast.

@jacobdapore150 2 жыл бұрын

My hair stylist told me she really wanted to see Bret Curseinjer, couldn’t stop laughing

@jerryrimmer9775 2 жыл бұрын

A guy at a weed store called him bret kursher once. when I went to correct him i couldn't pronounce it correctly. After 3 tries I gave up and just nodded r-wordedly

@BadGoyz4Life 2 жыл бұрын

@@jerryrimmer9775 did your tongue get stuck in your teeth?

@shooglechic 2 жыл бұрын

I really love it when someone says a variation and we immediately know who they are talking about.

@maxplastix8043 2 жыл бұрын

i can confirm that jig saw puzzle girls give serious sloppy toppy.

@BadGoyz4Life 2 жыл бұрын

The introverts usually do, it's the extroverts that think they've done enough and just like to lay there and talk dirty

@Sickclanftw 2 жыл бұрын

Seconded

@jacobklawinski8112 2 жыл бұрын

👍 agreed

@blackmarketnews8579 2 жыл бұрын

I really appreciate you guys putting the show out an hour earlier, so now i can get a show in before work.

@dunnobagels 2 жыл бұрын

Same

@dustinlegg108 2 жыл бұрын

Saaaaame. Gotta have it like Monday mornin coffee

@Shweaty7 2 жыл бұрын

It’s always 9am drop?

@aparson2967 2 жыл бұрын

Bert is going to get his Speedo deal because he wants everyone to swim like a dolphin!

@colek9574 2 жыл бұрын

And then get bit like Spooneys by a shark

@justjsak 2 жыл бұрын

@@colek9574 spoonies lmao

@evenbuzzard4642 2 жыл бұрын

Invite Poopies on the show!

@cjkennedy24 2 жыл бұрын

“It’s not aggressive, it’s Stevo” 😂😂😂 great line from Bart

@sleekpngn4050 2 жыл бұрын

16:18-20:20 was the best segment they could do. I was dying when Enny took to the mic

@davidfadden7948 2 жыл бұрын

I REALLY want 2Bears to go to the jigsaw convention. Film it

@rodneycaldwell1310 2 жыл бұрын

Love how Tom changes out the 12inch behind him every episode.

@strangeadv4977 2 жыл бұрын

And with an absolute banger none the less

@christopher152 2 жыл бұрын

uhm, he has had that one many episodes

@rodneycaldwell1310 2 жыл бұрын

@@christopher152 De La Soul, Run DMC, Biggie, digital underground LL cool j just to name a few

@christopher152 2 жыл бұрын

@@rodneycaldwell1310 don't know what that has to do with what I wrote. He's still has had that same one on many episodes. He's obviously not changing it every episode.

@tylergeorge733 2 жыл бұрын

Barts face looks extra swollen today. Glad to see the high sodium high alcohol diet is still going strong

@the_Dogpacker 2 жыл бұрын

As long as his speedos expand accordingly, he's one happy balloon.

@zachkeel9994 2 жыл бұрын

He looks Chinese

@taranfam 2 жыл бұрын

It’s getting borderline scary. He’s always red too now… he’s dying any year now.

@whip8 2 жыл бұрын

Someone has to balance the inflation of the universe

@brianakennedy1594 2 жыл бұрын

“jigsaw national international convention” love it bert

@jellojoe00 2 жыл бұрын

Bert " we grew up with jackass" Bert " we were hanging out with Knoxville" " he pitched jackass to me"

@ryanirving3388 2 жыл бұрын

Jackass was a thing before it was named jackass. So Bernts story makes sense when factoring in the story of how jackass came to fruition

@Tojoblindeye 2 жыл бұрын

Hahah Brent thinks he's like 30 dude. Jackass wasn't a thing before it was jackass, it's was big brother and CKY. That made jackass.

@timothymills6134 2 жыл бұрын

They were both in LA and were friends before Knoxville started jackass so ya never know.

@Shadow0fd3ath24 2 жыл бұрын

@@ryanirving3388 it wasnt though. They didnt know it was gonna be called that until they gathered the crew for the pilot a month before shooting(this is straight from Jeffs mouth). Before that it was a bunch of guys from big brother, spike jonze, and the CKY guys trying to make something.

@ryanirving3388 2 жыл бұрын

@@Shadow0fd3ath24 ...you think them not settling on a name for the show kept them from pitching their show idea to people?....lol........

@chriswitry6976 2 жыл бұрын

“Jackass is the best movie ever.” -Bart Kysnier; Rotten Barfmatoes: (ah-)100%

@Cyxz666 2 жыл бұрын

No matter how many times Tom tells Bert how aggressive randomly FaceTiming people is, he will never get it through his giant head.

@thesnowleopardmusic 2 жыл бұрын

haha Does Tom get anything through his giant head?

@lukecouzens3946 2 жыл бұрын

This whole podcast is legit Tom talking to a child with a beard.

@tiagocaseiro 2 жыл бұрын

Nadav's googling skills are just insane to me. "jeremy lin chinese name"!? That's how you were gonna find out his nationality?

@dvanlivesnow96 2 жыл бұрын

Lmfao; I thought the same thing at first... We caught Native playing favorites & using search terms that would support Tom's argument..... Either that; or we caught him practicing for his next Victoria's Secret Calendar. I'm on the fence, so don't touch my camera. Ta ta there mommy.

@Kapitalist88 2 жыл бұрын

I was raging so hard in my room because of this, my gf came in running like "WHAT HAPPENED?" lmfao

@TheSlappy. 2 жыл бұрын

I absolutely LOVE how within the first 15 minutes Bert was proven wrong 3 times back to back to back!

@jbraun902 2 жыл бұрын

Bart- “What racial slurs can you use?” Tommy Buns- Looks down starts laughing 😂

@xRamZx 2 жыл бұрын

Bert sorry to hear about your stage breaking due to unforeseen fatness

@acs78393 2 жыл бұрын

But he's not fat, just look at his arms! lol

@2pacfan56 2 жыл бұрын

@@acs78393 he couldn’t be fat, his kool-aid is low calorie

@jackshiels1206 2 жыл бұрын

@@2pacfan56 it has a lot of sugar in it but the amount of vitamin D cancels out the sugar 😂

@ExpBlissIt 2 жыл бұрын

It was really nice that you guys complimented Danger Aaron he gets so much shit and Its nice to see him being valued

@BadGoyz4Life 2 жыл бұрын

I got huge respect for him cuz he gets it the worst from everyone throughout the series and he still sticks around. I feel like he did most the stunts in the latest movie.

@GatsbyMyself 2 жыл бұрын

“Ehren”

@lukewojdylo9241 2 жыл бұрын

The final stage of this speedo thing is Bert and Chrissy D hosting a beach-side lightning baking show: *Speed Dough* on HGTV After Dark.

@MichaelWutsch 2 жыл бұрын

Why do I want to watch HGTV after dark?

@lukewojdylo9241 2 жыл бұрын

@@MichaelWutsch For Chris and Bert touchin' tips; while Emerill yells BAM!

@queencityjesters9973 2 жыл бұрын

@@MichaelWutschlook my Ju my

@Beardlyandrew 2 жыл бұрын

The jigsaw convention is going to turn into the 2 bears convention.

@ja5304 2 жыл бұрын

I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that Burt asked for “a good N-word” while playing Wordle in public.

@sweetbabyrick5382 2 жыл бұрын

Bert’s audio/crest/nymph Wordle tactic is very solid.

@Josh-pf9qx 2 жыл бұрын

@@sweetbabyrick5382 FACTS. Never thought he of all people would be able to retain that. At least he retains some things lol

@sxking 2 жыл бұрын

I left Jackass forever with a massive headache from laughing and crying continuously for 2 hours. It’s the funniest movie ever made.

@anthonyzullo 2 жыл бұрын

Bert: "I'm bad at keeping secrets" Bert: names a hour special "secret time"

@earlymorningpodcast 2 жыл бұрын

I think Bert is starting up onset dementia... How exciting!

@HarryManback0 2 жыл бұрын

Sounds like you are too.

@tnntlmmn277 2 жыл бұрын

@@HarryManback0 lol are you offended over an observation? incredible

@HarryManback0 2 жыл бұрын

@@tnntlmmn277 I shouldn't have to explain this to anyone with a normal mental capacity, but I was pointing out that their sentence is completely incoherent.

@earlymorningpodcast 2 жыл бұрын

@@HarryManback0 you seem edyoucated, listening to this must be difficult

@BoxForSobriety 2 жыл бұрын

Bert Lets BOX for Sobriety 🥊 LOL

@Jdubsx 2 жыл бұрын

Pretty rad to hear Burt bring up cky, such good memories laughing with friends at that stuff.

@SwordofZen 2 жыл бұрын

I remember being inspired to ride my skateboard full speed into this massive bush by the house after watching cky... def simpler times

@x.Aura.x 2 жыл бұрын

I think about Haggard all the time man 💔

@Shayquaza 2 жыл бұрын

Bernadette Nere

@zechariahross1444 2 жыл бұрын

Two bears one cave? More like one bear and one bear with down syndrome

@zechariahross1444 2 жыл бұрын

Two bears one cave? More like one bear and one bear with down syndrome lmaoooo

@dukkha7237 2 жыл бұрын

This whole episode was like the being in matrix - they spoke to Steve - O then spoke about Speed-O . This was one my favs right here 👌👌👌

@jzam469 2 жыл бұрын

Tom was, so pleased with his Bert moment about the Riddler being in Batman

@J-Mac8 2 жыл бұрын

Why?

@father3dollarbill 2 жыл бұрын

There's no comma there, son.

@SketchyAsFunk 2 жыл бұрын

That shit got me 🤣🤣

@matthewviolette4235 2 жыл бұрын

Riddler is the best

@zachleprieur2871 2 жыл бұрын

"A Jackie Chan movie where he goes back to the time of knights called chink in the armour. " Doug Benson

@gabebierschenk3060 2 жыл бұрын

Enny is a treasure and needs to be protected at all costs.

@FailingForFun 2 жыл бұрын

the best

@nickl.7748 2 жыл бұрын

@@FailingForFun no. HOT SAUCE is the best but Enny is a close second

@josephsosa776 2 жыл бұрын

Fuck to the no.

@neighborbruce 2 жыл бұрын

@@josephsosa776 really cool take you got there brother. You better bet I'm gonna be coming up in May

@ThatOneDudeNick 2 жыл бұрын

I love that Steve-O just picked up and gave them so much time without hesitation. Seems like a good dude.

@adamd.6698 2 жыл бұрын

So 8am est is the new time now? I’m all for it

@stoneprotech1559 2 жыл бұрын

Enie,s The HOMIE, he knew exactly how to handle that situation….very straight up and FUNNY!!

@MrCelty4 2 жыл бұрын

Burnt "I sound like air escaping a balloon when I laugh" Chrysler

@jebediahbrownmit2684 2 жыл бұрын

I love that Bart had no idea they were selling a 2 Bears glass, and no idea how to find the YMH online store, even after Tom reminded him. Thank god for Leanne.

@JSorb 2 жыл бұрын

Praise Allah on the 7am upload. Thanks Paddy

@LimorG 2 жыл бұрын

Especially for Eid 😉

@hotstankygarbage788 2 жыл бұрын

God man, love the positivity they give each other. How it's like a weird circle of everyone I watch.

@AsiaOfTheMultiverse Жыл бұрын

"I need to be signed--as an athlete" (by Speedo) laughing my face off 😂🤣

@maxng7211 2 жыл бұрын

Bert: "I'm not great at keeping secrets" Bert 10 seconds later talking about baseball: "Ohhh wait, that's a secret you might have to take that out"

@kennethbandera3195 2 жыл бұрын

Tom took the words out of my mouth, I would’ve never worn a speedo before but Bert has me convinced I’m missing out 😭😂

@richardbutkis 2 жыл бұрын

You are. I mean, this dude loves them. kzfaq.info/get/bejne/j7aYi72Cq6jJdXk.html

@zechariahross1444 2 жыл бұрын

Two bears one cave? More like one bear and one bear with down syndrome lmaoooo

@Hiphopopotomous 2 жыл бұрын

I wonder how many stories we will hear for the 4th time today!

@ItsJoKeZ 2 жыл бұрын

have you heard the one were bert gets drunk and does something?

@frecklefart909 2 жыл бұрын

I wonder how many more of these r*tarded comments I'll have to read every time a new episode comes out...

@Hiphopopotomous 2 жыл бұрын

@@ItsJoKeZ did you know Georgia drove fast on a jetski with him?

@2pacfan56 2 жыл бұрын

@@Hiphopopotomous did you know he did a polar plunge after the last episode?

@lillithremedy 2 жыл бұрын

what about the one where the guy who claims to have never said the n word goes on to say it loads

@edromes30 2 жыл бұрын

This episode was made 25 days ago. Thanks to the jigsaw convention.

@utlonghorn86 2 жыл бұрын

Damn.

@8thlvlMage 2 жыл бұрын

The day after the previous episode apparently. When they bank episodes they really bank them I guess! It makes sense with all the touring though.

@BikerDaddy22RideorDie 2 жыл бұрын

May is gonna be my sober month, still smoking my greens but am taking a break from drinking, love you guys be safe! Thanks everyone for the awesome comments, To the people saying ur not "sober" bc im smoking my greens still I've been smoking for 6 years everyday its medicine for me, i don't get hiii anymore due to my tolerance but i will one day give that a break to!! Just not today!! Cheers everyone!

@beckyhobbs8203 2 жыл бұрын

Good luck. Hope the best for you!

$@fractaled3129$

@fractaled3129 2 жыл бұрын

was thinking the same thing! Not including yesterday. :)

@adamfortune3574 2 жыл бұрын

Same here.

@imthepopcornman 2 жыл бұрын

Doing the same brother. good luck.

@thedude7726 2 жыл бұрын

Same here bro

@sm0keyMcP0t420 2 жыл бұрын

The new Jackass movies is hilarious. My favorite bits a lot of time are ones where people didn't even get hurt, like the one where they kill the lights and they think there is a snake in the room, or the taxi cab prank or shitting in a toilet in a hardware store.

@49hamburger 2 жыл бұрын

It's so amazing to me the thing Bert "Spins out" from. He literally has a full blown melt down like a toddler over the IDEA of getting his blood drawn. No wonder his wife prefers him home only a few days a month

@TheAaron3dg 2 жыл бұрын

I was SO happy to see the love for Danger Ehren. He really was one of the best parts of Jackass 4!

@lunchboxh 2 жыл бұрын

I’d like to think that when Steve-O told them about Poopies situation, Tom picked up his phone to help him out in some way.

@notagiantseaslug5523 2 жыл бұрын

He did, Tom was looking up or thinking about looking up his surgeons info, with the intent to give poopies a referral. He even mentioned that to Stevo seconds later.

@ARKHAMxMaverick 2 жыл бұрын

"We could find fun racial slurs" - Brett Crysler.

@codydillard8918 2 жыл бұрын

Can we get some classy 2Bears Whiskey & Cognac glasses?

@MineCraftRetarded 2 жыл бұрын

I love 2 Bears because literally every episode just becomes whatever Brad's adhd brain wants it to be and Tom trying to make sense what's going on

@TendoTheDude 2 жыл бұрын

Ahhh that time of the week yet again... my favorite cave with my favorite bears.

@jakebush4749 2 жыл бұрын

Bert sure is speedin pretty fast. Hope he gets help soon.

@pnwfavmilf05-12 2 жыл бұрын

Poopies was on steve o podcast and hes broke. So they were telling people to go order his cameo.he needs $. Seems like a great guy from what i saw on the podcast!

@shawnmcvey7789 2 жыл бұрын

Poopies was great in the movie, so great I kept forgetting he was new. I enjoyed the new cast, they did a good job blending the new and old.

@IzzySoDope Жыл бұрын

"Apples?" *in unison* "ohhhhh" as a native american i laughed my ass off 😂

@joegaita32 2 жыл бұрын

The faces Tom makes when Bert called Steve-O is hilarious

@johnvisconti3542 2 жыл бұрын

Bert looked like that uncle who's lap you DO NOT want to sit on when he read that Policy Genius read...🤣

@jamesbaugh981 2 жыл бұрын

I love the constant crossovers here. From Bert interviewing Riley from sailing la vagabonde to them talking about poopies from JOB!! I feel truly seen hahaha!!

@DennyBass 2 жыл бұрын

The jigsaw convention gonna be poppin this year.

@whoopshey826 2 жыл бұрын

if Bert is this crazy about speedo's without pay, imagine if they paid him...

@thorbartzi994 2 жыл бұрын

"I want a whistle! I want a big ole whistle that says speedo on it" made me giggle more than I expected.

@Martinbrody22 2 жыл бұрын

Classic Abe had to cut our fun with the weird slurs 😂

@gamblerizzo7468 2 жыл бұрын

When it sounds like Johnny's snoring its bc he's trying to swallow his tongue while unconscious, ALSO Johnny had major cognitive issues for 3 months after that bull hit and couldnt pay attenstion to anything for longer than a few seconds

@ponytailjones 2 жыл бұрын

I've literally never in my entire life heard the word 'jig' used as racist slang. I was watching this going 'what the fuck are these guys talking about? Why aren't they just saying 'jig'. It's a common word. It's a type of saw, a type of dance, a type of puzzle, etc. Let's just agree on this; Until Cobble Hill starts writing 'J-word Puzzle' on their packaging, you can say 'jig' out loud.

@brettpenning 2 жыл бұрын

I have heard that growing up in Michigan towards Asians mostly.

@nickkerr5714 2 жыл бұрын

@@brettpenning do you mean “zips”?

@brettpenning 2 жыл бұрын

@@nickkerr5714 that one also

@tranq5244 2 жыл бұрын

I guess they’re just nervous to say it cuz it’s too close to “jigaboo” but realistically even a sound byte taken out of context of them saying “jig” would have no consequences for the reasons you just listed.

@leeward6762 2 жыл бұрын

100% me either, I've heard it used several ways but never in a derogatory manner, jig for fish, dance a jig, the jig is up....but never anything negative

@zackkozel5313 2 жыл бұрын

That “ohhhh” at 19:44 killed me when I realized what it meant 😂

@rosskirkwood8411 2 жыл бұрын

Jigsaw is a tool. These puzzles used to be made of wood and you would cut the pieces out using a jigsaw a fine bladed device that makes accurate bendy cuts.

@Dianasviews 2 жыл бұрын

Hot sauce is the best in the early morning 😂 thnx for the early drop🥰 love you bears. ♥️

@tnntlmmn277 2 жыл бұрын

are you happy that you're included in an inside joke for once?

@MrDj8755 2 жыл бұрын

Tim and Brent are the best

@cmgeisleman9438 2 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤣💯👈🏼😉🖕🏼✌🏼

@markmadonna7068 2 жыл бұрын

2 bears always coming in clutch. Love laughing my ass off at work

@PARISH75365 2 жыл бұрын

I love that you guys say "love you" every pod. My friends and i used to be the same way but since I've had a kid, for some reason, they all bailed on me. So to hear you guys say it makes me extremely happy.

@yoitsvic1126 2 жыл бұрын

What did we do to deserve a new ep an hour earlier?

@ItsJoKeZ 2 жыл бұрын

ah my weekly filler before bad friends 🙌🏾

@budthebud9108 2 жыл бұрын

Every episode of Friends was great writing. If you can't tell I'm being sarcastic

@x.Aura.x 2 жыл бұрын

black magic mondays

@Z-pizzle23 2 жыл бұрын

We have the same podcast schedule 👌

@ohgoshitsjosh 2 жыл бұрын

Why does Bert’s laugh sound like a mosquito flying close to your ear 😂😂

@gabes5858 2 жыл бұрын

Usually Bart exaggerates….but damn Jackass was amazing 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@therealestdealest 2 жыл бұрын

Every week Tim slips one inch closer to reaching across the table and slaughtering Burnt

@codysorenson1508 2 жыл бұрын

Tom’s love for violence is way too funny, I’m laughing like he did after showing the auto mechanic getting pinned by that car on YMH “You just made a hundred grand” one of the best pods they have put out these last several weeks!

@2smart4uu 2 жыл бұрын

Bert named the whole top row except Eric Andre 😂

@damontaylor42 2 жыл бұрын

Touch my Monday through the fence, its time for another 2 Bears !!

@cadengeorgeM 2 жыл бұрын

Ymh early releases are the best!

@tommyreed1707 2 жыл бұрын

I'm with Tom, Berts super aggressive nature on calling people and getting them to talk on the face time or the phone, would cringe me so hard.

@lejamesbron4055 2 жыл бұрын

Like not asking if they are free to go live to 100k plus people

@8thlvlMage 2 жыл бұрын

Your use of "cringe me" makes me cringe. (So hard.)

@ThatBrittany 2 жыл бұрын

Bert trying to facetime everyone is my favorite thing

@Prosuh 2 жыл бұрын

this podcast is such a constant in my week. Thanks for keeping this up guys

@dvanlivesnow96 2 жыл бұрын

We caught Native playing favorites & using search terms that would support Tom's argument..... Either that; or we caught him practicing for his next Victoria's Secret Calendar. I'm on the fence, so don't touch my camera. Ta ta there mommy.

@radavisss0420 2 жыл бұрын

*talking about Jackass Forever* Brent: “I’m not ruining it because, because there’s no way to ruin it, you have to watch it.” *Proceeds to explain the entire scene.*

@itsokay7989 2 жыл бұрын

And he was right. You have to see it.