"'i'm literally shitting right now'. ... how does that help in the investigation, man." 20 seconds in and i know it'll be a classic

"It's like Death Note, but if Light was shitting at kebab restaurants" One of my new favorite Charlie quotes lol

It's the color difference that really strikes me. The object is light brown from the left corner till about three quarters in, and then turns into a distinctly darker brown. None of the food around it changes color in a similar manner, so it cannot be lighting. And I have to say, I have had had shits where they show exactly this dual-color pattern. That, taken together with the cracks, the shape and might I add the glossiness, makes it hard to conclude that this is anything other than a turd.

Charlie with the SF poop map: "I don't think I can just show actual pieces of poop on stream" Charlie in the very next video: shows what is very plausibly an actual piece of poop on stream

Charlie: “There’s no way someone took a shit that presentable into a box” EDP: “You underestimate my power”

When they said Justin Whang was in on this investigation, I knew just how serious things must be getting. That dude is literally the go to man for the story behind poppy pics on the internet.

Did you notice that the poop is two-toned? It’s like 80% a light brown on the left and 20% dark brown on the right. I’ve had poops like this, never eaten meat like that. I’m convinced it is in fact a turd.

Imagine taking a shit in your take away box for a prank, and sometime later a stranger on KZfaq is presenting your masterpiece to gastroenterologists and kebab experts, trying to break it like the Davinci Code

“There’s no way someone took a shit that presentable is a box.” You’d be surprised to how many people can land their shit perfectly

"The thing that throws me off is it has little chunks in it." That doesn't throw me off; it's just one more thing kababs and poo have in common. Those little chunks propel me further down the rabbit hole. Theology, cosmology, pshaw-this pic is truly the greatest mystery.

I've actually had to pick up someone's shit out of the public toilet at where I work because it wouldn't flush. It looked EXACTLY like that, one of the cleanest and longest peices of shit I've ever seen. One day I hope to meet this man..

0:37 the dramatic, low "boom" sound effect when the shit/kabab appears on-screen killed me 😂

"I'm literally shitting right now" They have such a way with words

As a foodie, here's my take: Real kebabs have visible 'finger marks' where the person would have wrapped the meat around the rotisserie spit. Additionally, it appears to be barely cooked; kebabs are brown but not THAT brown. Real kebabs are firm, have char marks, have variation in coloring due to the addition of spices and whatnot, and sometimes have a bit of a greasy look to it. The log looks abnormally thick, dry, basic/bland in appearance and soft to be kebab. Also, look at how the right end droops into the box. I will say the indent in the middle is throwing me off a little bit. Conclusion, it's either real poop, fake poop or worse a vegan kebab.

"There is no way someone took a shit that presentable into a box" EDP: Hold my cupcake

Ok here's my theory: This is dog poop. As someone who worked at a vet clinic for several years and had to clean up and EVALUATE dog poop every day, this looks very much like dog poop. The one end has a couple inches of a darker color than the rest, the folds it has throughout, and the mysterious lumps as well all look really typical. Not to mention just the overall cylindrical shape and lack of obvious fibrous tissue that would generally be in ground meat? I know that you can also have meat paste that looks more uniform but somehow this doesn't fit either profile. I would also think that it would be much easier to harvest a dog turd for this photo than from a human because you could just pick one up off the grass. If this is gag poop, I must say I'm impressed because they went to a lot of trouble to add the finer details.

Not the mystery we wanted solved, but the mystery we NEEDED solved

Documenting serious amount of time and effort for the silliest things is what makes people and the internet great. The corporatization of content gets stale but this kind of stuff as silly as it is feels genuine and sometimes is very interesting and entertaining.

Holy shit, I know that Lewis. I went to school with him. Literally had to check my friend's list to make sure it was the same guy.

I'm no poop expert(please believe me), but could it have been that the person took a shit on a piece of paper, or card(possibly coated with non-stick oil to prevent sticking and stuff), and then proceeded to place it on the PETA? I agree with Charlie's point on it being impossible to get that perfect placement, but the poop could have very easily been collected in a controlled environment(like the one I mentioned above) and then manually placed on the Peta as a (very disgusting) gag image. Again, please I'm no expert on poop or its textures, so I'd like some validation on my theory. Thanks!

The mystery meat is such a paradox in and of itself that the reveal of its truth would likely tear the very fabric of the universe

This straight looks like a turd that could be used on the Bristol stool chart. The change in color 1/5th way down the stool is also convincing, due to if stool stays in the rectal vaults for long periods of time you can get this darkened discoloration. That darkened area also looks more desiccated which is pathognomonic of type 3 stool. I truly hope it is kebab, but I would be surprised. 10/10 would recommend this controversy to strangers.

As a firefighter I have shit in the woods many times, and it is highly possible for a fresh dry log to look exactly like that

Every gastroenterologist I've ever known would definitely be on board for proving if this is or isn't poop for the memes

now all we need to do is find a gag poop produced that is identical in shape to the one in the photo

Had no idea this video was gonna have me laughing this hard.

I’m a pastry chef who has made realistic “shit cake” before. To me, it looks like they wrapped the kebab meat in plastic wrap and formed it like that, or maybe using another edible medium.

Poop Expert: its a kebab. Kebab Expert: it's poop. Schrodinger's PooKebab is very accurate.

Chatter “Im literally shitting right now” Charlie: “How does that help in the investigation man?!” 😂😂😂

The fact that he brang in a poop expert to look at the picture and conclude: Yes, this indeed might be poop. Is the funniest shit I’ve seen today.

Imagine being sued for defamation of defecation. Wild.

5:00 "He's gonna interview a pile of shit next. Do you know this guy?" lmfao 💀

It is absolutely not Chocolate Rain.

If Charlie watches enough of youtube deep dive videos, he can actually become a real life Sherlock Holmes. The hours of watching must equate to an entire degree of that.

How many times has Charlie called it the “5 stages of denial” instead of “grief” because I’ve heard him say that a few times now.

finally, the average person can get a glimpse of arfid

As a Turkish person who’s spent most of my dinners with various kebabs, there’s no way any kebab would have a thick cylindrical shape that size unless it was “kokoreç” (sheeps intestines) which I really doubt. It could also potentially be “köfte” however koft are much smaller in size and have clear grill markings around them. Also almost every kebab like that is cooked straight on a rod so it would be odd for it to just completely slump on one side, therefore, what we are looking at is an impressive turd

It's simple. It's the entity that crossexists between "The world's most perfectly shat across a salad turd" and "the world's shittiest kebab"

I googled “gag poop” and the first shopping result came up that looks pretty similar. Also it is named “Toilet Seat Turd, UK Import” Coincidence? Who knows😂

6:10 Although I agree that shitty cooks can make food look like shit, I would like to see someone so bad at grilling that their hotdogs/sausages get shit grooves in them.

"It's like Death Note.. but if Light was shitting" This is one of the greatest quotes of modern history.

I believe the most likely reason Lee deleted the image is because he took the picture as a joke, it was a gag poop, and he had completely forgotten about it, then when he heard someone was trying to figure out who he was, he's just some regular dude that doesn't want the fuss, so he deleted it because it doesn't matter to him. It's the least exciting answer, so it's probably the most likely.

Never seen a kabab like that but definitely flushed a few of the same turds

I had a buddy who would flip the seat down in McDonald's or wherever. Drop a log right onto some TP he laid on top of seat. Then he would proceed to take a pile of rolled up TP and grab the log and use it as a big crayon and write offensive comments on the walls. Kids today have no idea what people use to have to do to entertain themselves AND post comments to the community before we had smartphones.

"It's not just the poop, it's the mystery *behind* the poop." - Dennis Reynolds

"What's my cut" is the most Blackpool thing imaginable.

i feel like this: 3:37 is so damning because in that lighting it really looks the same as the picture, just hidden under the toppings

When Charlie called it a “load” I legally passed away.

Justin Whang is in the case, and now even Charlie, the man who solved the Jack The Ripper case, is in on it too, that just shows you just how serious this mystery is, to shit or not to shit? That is the question

Wubby: "I'm nervous no one will like the video I took two years to make" Everyone: "turd kebab will consume my life"

When I clicked on a video called "KZfaq's Greatest Mystery", this is not what I expected nor what I wanted to see.

I live in Blackpool, we found this restaurant by accident while looking for a kanan place to order from. Sent it to the family gc and my dad called the restaurant to tell them someone was passing a photo of poop off as a review, never bothered following it up, this was September 24th 2021. Absolutely fuckiing wild that I just threw a video on for while I’m going to bed and I see that photo again after completing ly

I'm team shit. And I firmly believe that Lee R decided to just shit on a Kebab for a hate review of the restaurant.

If I had a nickel every time the past 24 hours where Charlie says “The 5 stages of denial” and implies that “grief” is one of the stages, instead of vice versa, I’d have two nickels Which isn’t that many but it’s weird that it happened twice

I love that the train of thought was specifically gastroenterologist AND THEN the kabab expert and not the other way around

i'm so glad i decided to get food before i started watching this

Charlies reasoning for it not being poop is extremely weak. "Nobody could poop so perfectly in a box!" Dude... Let me introduce you to the unending horror that is scat pr0n.

Alrighty something I think we overlooked here: That’s a big piece of “whatever”, but there’s nothing on the top of the lid. If that was closed it would be smooshing it. I vote poop, because if all that was brought home in a take-out container, there would be juice or something on the top lid.

NGL Charlie, I've legit taken poops exactly like that. I would have to bite a towel or something when it's coming out. Entire toilet snakes that sometimes clog the toilet itself.

paymoneywubby & Critikal stream collab would be kinda badass

“It’s like Death Note, except if Light was shitting at kebab restaurants, I guess.” 👨‍🍳👄👌

Funny how the gastro expert laughs at poo even though he sees it daily at work.

A 4. 6 FOURTY . EVERY STEP. BENCH 500. MIKE TYSON RUNNIN A 4. 6 40. STRAIT AT YOU. THAT SCARS ME. YUP.

I'm laughing how everyone is basically saying: It's either a really bad kebab, or a really good shit

After solving Jack the ripper and D.B. Cooper, Charlie tackles his greatest mystery yet

That is absolutely shit. As an MD I can confirmed that this is nothing more and nothing less than an ENORMOUS shit. Notice the darker end? This was a shit that had been brewing for a while. It is darker because it had been inside for longer and contains less moisture than the rest of the log of shit

What's more possible, a guy taking a poop into a food bowl and taking the picture or a person just getting a weird kebab and picturing it cause it's funny

It was obviously shit, the excuses make me realize my friend was truly a disgusting person. His form of pranks involved his poo, from smearing it, leaving it, throwing it and presenting it. This would be an example of how he would present it, some people are good at handling poo. For the record, i never shook his hand.

KZfaqs greatest mystery is why JCS was pretty much "canceled". Dude made excellent videos, and all of a sudden he's blacklisted.

Charlie's previous video: Hang on guys I'm not gonna show you all shit but I'm going to look at it myself, there's no way that's okay to show everyone This entire video:

Wubbys so desperate to close this case, he’s gonna recreate the crime scene

"The snmoking gun" said Charlie Lmao

As somewhat of a Kabab connoisseur from the middle east, I have never seen Kabab look like that in my entire life. It's simply impossible for ground meat Kabab to come out with grooves and dual colors. If someone managed to make a Kabab like that one, you might as well call it shit.

I thought Charlie was doing a bit at first, but now I'm genuinely confused how someone WOULDN'T think that's shit 🤢🤢

“See like u dont know if it’s poop or a kebæb” -charlie

0:15 lmao starts with a banger lmao that’s when you know it’s gonna be good, when this guy’s pooping time will forever be immortalized on a moist critical video

“There’s no way took that presentable off a shit to put in a box” I could 100% take a shit in my toilet on literally ANY day of the week; and if I pulled it out of the toilet and stuck it in a box, it would look JUST like that 😂

"There's no way someone took a shit that presentable"... oh Charles, how surprisingly innocent you are for your position in the world. Someone can absolutly drop a picturesque turd like that. I'm actually a bit surprised stuff like this isn't more common. Many times in my unfortunate life have I seen a single, long, perfect turd laid out like a staged piece of art. But this picture is pretty hard to nail down, it could definitly be a kebab.

Literally never once thought it was a Kebab, it’s 100% poo

In a few years I hope we see this on “Cold Case Files.”

Lee was probably worried about crazy internet people spamming him for the rest of time once this video came out

The object looks too wet to have been picked up after being shat out; there would be fingerprints / pressure marks if it were, and if not it's remarkable that there are no streaks of residue anywhere else after such a perfect landing. That being said, the almost completely yellow-ish color of the object indicates that this is likely not meat; when meat or other organic substances turn brown (from a process known as Maillard reaction), it's usually a lot darker (like the brown tip of the object). Also, if it was grilled to that color, we should see uneven coloring based on surface's height from the grill, but instead only the narrow tip (which should in theory be actually undercooked) is darker. Perhaps the reason why the gastroenterologist and kebab expert were both thrown off were probably because it was neither; I think Charlie mentioning gag-poop is the by far the most likely case (laminated rubber or playdough). It would also explain why the original post was removed, as negative publicity like this gives the restaurant justification to initiate a serious libel case.

I don’t like how Charlie’s staring at me in the thumbnail it’s unsettling

"Kebab expert" sounds like something Rick from Pawn Stars would say😂

I love his style of journalism it really keeps you interested

Here's another theory. Lee R, if we believe his reviews, has a son. What if the son logged in on his dad's account and posted a prank review?

as a Turk, I think someone put a kokorec (made out of lamb gut) that washed wery poorly on some veggies and say its a kebab (that means its poop but not at the same time)

This is like if the "Who Pooped the Bed" episode of It's Always Sunny were adapted for CSI

Penguinz definitely has a 32gb flash drive inside his head filled with random jokes

You can literally see the right side being drier than the left side, because it came out right side first. The left side was more moist because it was further away from the exit, it probably started with a struggle to get it out. Then, it came out nice and smooth after the dry part was out.

I’m fucking dying at the fact the Poop Puppeteer got spooked at the investigation and tried to cover his trail

It's a shit. My brother was a caretaker in a primary school, and the things those kids did in those toilets were nightmare -inducing. The pinnacle was one of the 'mind the wet floor' cones, with a big poo stuck in the hole at the top. So some kid had picked it up and put it in there. And it was my brother's job to pull it out.

We're so used to moist being serious to the point of him laughing is either a blessing or a curse.

I have thoroughly searched the internet for fake human feces and there are fake poops that look similar to this one, but I have not found an identical copy. Either it’s a homemade fake poop or the real deal. No way that’s meat

"do u know this guy was such a fucking amazing line i just died and came back

There is literally no way that is meat, that’s a log, 1000%.

People before: "In the future there will be flying cars!" People now: "Turd kebab?"

I could easily lay a steaming pipe on that platter.

My wife and I watched the first two minutes of this video and for some reason it lead to action. So confused right now. Cheers Charlie

Neither of you mentioned the possibility of it being dog shit. I used to have a large dog and he took dumpers that looked just like this. Perhaps even photoshop. There are *loads* of possibilities