Must we categorize and commodify human emotion....

This video essay is spectacular: excellent research, coherent, concise, personal, funny. Really impressed.

Call me by your name was one of the first gay themed movies I saw. I saw it when I was still struggling with accepting my own homosexuality and I related so much with Elio that when the movie finished I had tears running down my eyes, but also a strange feeling of peace, of knowing that I wasn't the only one like that, that I wasn't alone. At this moment it still is one of my favourite movies

As a trans & queer artists who is writing about semi autobiographical misery….thank you. I know there’s value in me expressing myself and my story, but I do often wonder if there is value in other people seeing my most painful experiences expressed, or if I am just being too self-involved.

I LOVED OTHER PEOPLE. thank you for mentioning it !! I feel like it’s so underrated, yet is so tender and I’m glad I found it❤️❤️

I wonder if I'll ever be able to enjoy gay movies without feeling sick about it.

Man, you can't imagine how much I value this video. It was so cool to find out about Anhell 69 (love the name, BTW). Everybody complains about Colombian cinema, but the thing is that the talent is not supported. It's always like that in "La Tierra del Sagrado Corazón".

amazing

i haven’t watched the whole video yet, and this comment probably doesn’t have anything to do with it, but i watched your queer misery video some time back and couldn’t stop thinking about it. i checked out your channel and saw this. and then i thought about how my straight crush dressed up as orpheus for a school thing. it’s been almost a year and i am still lovesick over him, even though i know nothing could happen.

Anhell69 sounds *fascinating* but I can’t find anywhere to watch it. Does anyone know where I could find this film in America?

Muy buen video, qué suerte que me apareció tu canal

After learning about the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice from watching Portrait of a Lady on Fire (which was an instrumental film to me in my process of accepting my queerness) I became so fascinated with it. Hozier has a song that references it as well! So when I saw this video I got so excited. It was fantastic, thank you. It meant so much to me.

you seem to have had, still have a lot to work through. i know this is not a very nice thing to say but i don't believe this video expresses much more than that. stay strong, keep searching, stories about white homosexuals building their own misery don't keep the soul warm

I love your gay little outfits <3 10/10 slay, would subscribe again

As someone who accepts all the misery of the determinism within modern life, my grindrprofile literally says: _"I know you'll find someone more attractive than me here - And you should totally go for it! Live and enjoy your life! Life is Great."_ I know it sounds nihilistic, but I enjoy the fight.. but. I always hated Call Me by Your Name, because it displays a world that most of human life never have, wich makes our condition all the more miserable. One of the few "queer" movies I enjoyed though was "I liked my mother" ...

I'm writing a book and a lot of the themes are about the relationships I had with other women growing up. How queer girls often have abusive relationships with eachother before they have the words to understand that what they're experiencing is a relationship. I've had so many friendships with girls where it was so close to being romantic, the jealousy that you didn't have any right to feel because you're just friends, they're allowed other friends. The frustration that you didn't feel seen but you couldn't say how. I wanted to be the most special person to them. I didn't even know what a lesbian was until I was 12, I knew I was different and that everyone around me knew I was different. When I found out it was because I was being bullied for being a lesbian. I had a conversation with my old therapist about my relationship to horror as a genre and my interest in the macarbe. How it comforts me because I'm so used to being in hell I decided to make a home there so it didn't seem that bad. I enjoy queer joy but queer misery is cathartic, I don't want to dream I want to be seen.

3:05 Wasn't Freddy Mercury bisexual? There was a whole scene where he told his wife he was bi, and she refused to consider him as anything but gay...which says a lot about how desperate people were for out queer icons that "bisexual" was simplified to "gay". It reminds me of the "one drop" rule: if an American has a drop of indigenous or African blood, they were labeled as part of that group by white society.

I had just woken up and was looking for something lighthearted to watch while I ate my cereal. Instead I saw your video recommended to me and watched the whole thing through in one sitting before starting work. It was a pleasure to watch and I sincerely pray that more gay people develop the same critical and self-reflective eye that you have on our whole culture. Thank you ☺️

As @Trao1938 put it in his second comment to the pinned comment: "Being desired protects us from the rejection of being understood"... 👏

I don't know how I missed this video, being an avid KZfaq video essay watcher, having seen some of yours before and as a HUGE fan of Wes Anderson's work, but I'm so glad I found it more than a year later. You articulated something here that I've always felt very deeply about his films but that I've had a hard time expressing for some reason. Your essay moved me to tears a few times, and I'll keep thinking about for a long time, I feel. So thank you.

Just watched the intro so far but just wanted to say how cute you are omg dreamy .... okay will continue with the misery! Great intro though!

Amazing work! Thank you!

❤

I’m the type of person that only likes depressing, miserable, or straight up horror in my movies/tv/books. While occasionally heartwarming stuff is fine, I thrive for anything dark. I’m a HUGE horror fanatic, and my favorite type of material is the type where there is terror involved. I am also bi. So, that being said, I would LOVE to see more lesbian/gay horror. The horror scene is full of straight characters, and while queerness is sort of involved in certain horror, it’s mostly just stigmatized. I would love if we could normalize gay film and literature to the point where gay/trans/lesbian horror comes out just as often as straight horror. That’s my take anyway lol

Everyone said it was Endgame that broke movie pass but it was actually the gays at love Simon

Happy to have found your channel, talking from Brazil here

god this is so..... fantastic video. during a particularly bad period of my life when i was dealing with being raped through endless grindr hookups with faceless men i watched baby reindeer. this show isn't queer not really, and many of the queer elements could be seen as problematic, but god the lonely feeling of dealing with what happened through violent and anonymous sex seems to be a uniquely lonely queer experience. i had never felt more seen and more self aware of my own behaviour than watching that show and of the loop contuining. films like all of us strangers, arakis work, terrence davises work, all seem to hone in on how lonely it is to be queer and it always speaks so much deeper to my soul than any attempt of "queer happiness" like heartstopper and love victor like you have mentioned, as it doesn't feel real. even something like love simon which you explictly spoke about felt more real. great video. glad this exists.

❤❤❤

Misery porn is misery porn whether it's queer or not. It's a fetishization of the loss of hope and just negative overall. I have never come out of these movies feeling better, in fact they've influenced some dark periods of my life. The insight and lessons that could be gained from this media I have captured through living my own life, and are a reminder as I work through volunteering and activism to make sure nobody experiences the things I have. Thank you for the video, you did a great job. However, it's just another affirmation for my disgust and rejection of the subject.

I don't think the problems that people pointed out in Happiest Season or Call Me By Your Name are wrong though lol.

thank you for this, beautiful vid and glad i found your channel. im trans and bi, and stuff like heartstopper is nice but theres no way it will ever be able to resonate for me, its so shallow and alien to my own experiences, imo.

Those words have reached within that part of my brain that was confused on why everyone is acting so coy and gentle all the time - Its unreal, when we see flawed characters, like you said: it helps us understand an worse scenario without us being present in it. While queer misery is not new to anyone in LGBTQ+ community this video helped me understand many things i have yet to even dream thinking about. Thank you for this.

Hey there! This is a beautiful and poignant exploration of something I didn't even know to articulate. However one thing. In Fun Home, Alison doesn't find out her dad is gay posthumously. Her mom tells her in a way. She knows while he's alive and it hangs over their heads in their last conversation. You're right that he COULD have helped her and it's heartbreaking that she could have connected with him about it. But it's even more tragic that she knew he was gay, he knew she was gay, and they still couldn't connect. He still couldn't embrace it, and her.

This was one of the most intriguing and moving video essays I have witnessed on this channel. Great job.

The Living End (1992) managed to make the topic of homosexuality and AIDS gutsy, thrilling, and dangerous. So under appreciated

Hace mucho que no lloraba con un videoensayo, muy buen trabajo

I'm not a fan of "queer misery" or really any misery in the media I consume (unless I'm in the mood for a good horror), but you did bring up points that I had milling around in my head that I couldn't quite put forth. And yeah, I agree, what I love about these kind of films is the introspection, to see that our misery is a shared experienced and that we aren't alone. So thank you for this! Also congrats on raising the money! I'm so excited to see what comes of that film! I would also love if you're able to, look at the list of media/books you're researching. I've been trying to incorporate more Latinx/culture/heritage in both fantasy and sci-fi (the genres I mainly work in) in the TTRPG world, but my Spanish literacy is mainly aural than reading, it makes it hard for me. I understand if you're keeping it all under the belt too~

moonlight not being metion is on brand for white queer ppl

irish person here, dw you said it right

51:30 Interesting idea I would love to see explored. I'm currently playing through Dawntrail, the most recent expansion of FInal Fantasy XIV. The game has had major story updates around one big arc for nearly 10 years that concluded with Endwalker in 2021, and this expansion starts a new story when our character gets invited to participate in a rite of succession in a continent far away, that's been mostly unexplored or open to outsiders. The writers, who are all Japanese, tried to imagine a fantasy equivalent of South America sans Spanish and Portuguese colonialism, and for the most part it's very interesting on a character and worldbuilding level, even if it is strange that characters with Mayan and Incan names have Spanish accents-though thankfully, the major ones are actually Latin American voice actors (and one in particular has gotten a lot of attention when folks learned the voice behind the two-headed bully is hot). A huge chunk of the story also explores both the benefits and the dangers of accelerated globalization as new technology introduced to the land has directly affect people's cultural traditions and behaviors, and for some people, their livelihood. Now I'm kind of hooked and would love to see more speculative fiction that explores this dynamic.

F***, tha's a damn good video essay

Love this ! Bravo

Great video, I love Encanto (I wept when I read the song title Dos Oruguitas in the video description). @26:00 "If we are stuck in a chaos maintained by our own indifference, individualism, and self defeat do we even deserve a way out?" The answer is, yes! Everyone deserves a way out of chaos. People deserve whatever they need without having to earn it. I am doing what I can to support Columbia from the US, and I don't need or expect anything from Columbia to earn my support. I have wanted to read 100 Years Of Solitude for way too long. To say "that Macondo, and everything that happens there and in the book, is an encapsulation and reflection of Columbian history" feels deeply disingenuous based on your own description of it. I know online leftist love to judge people with taboo sexual interests, but obviously Gabriel García Márquez was interested in inc3st. It's really ok to enjoy fantasies fo inc3st and be attracted to one's own family even if inc3st isn't ok. He clearly found writing to be a healthy sexual outlet for his fantasies (writing is brutal, so writers only write about what interests them). There is a deeply opressive stigma against people for enjoying fantasies or attractions that aren't ok in real life. For example 99% chance this comment is removed by the owner of this channel just for me standing up for such people even though I myself don't share such taboo fantasies. I know plenty of wonderful people who have such fantasies. I don't judge people for acting on those fantasies or attractions ( I have met plenty of wonderful people who have), and I don't judge people who judge them for acting on those fantasies or attractions despite that also not being ok and violent . I do judge people who don't accept that people are allowed to simply have such fantasies and attractions which are inherently harmless and brought on by nature and meant to be enjoyed in healthy outlets for them. And I judge people who try to oppress such people by pretending that they don't exist i.e. not talking about how Gabriel García Márquez was one of those people. it's easy to pretend like the oppression of people with taboo sexual interests is not a problem. Even though it's obvious from your description of 100 Years Of Solitude that the author was passionate about the relationship between the oppression of such invisible people and the violence in Columbia. I mean, what exactly is the point of this video if it's going to ignore and therefore reinforce the oppression Gabriel García Márquez was obviously calling out. A pig's tale is not a punishment. "Deformity" is not a punishment. People do things that aren't ok, that's not the problem because it's human nature. The way people treat or talk about a person with a pig's tale is the problem. Don't you know that some people watching this video are children of related parents? Talking about inc3st in such a black and white way is really dehumanizing to people who are the result of inc3st and really disrespectful to their parents. That's not ok. Also, Bruno never got married because he's a Minor Attracted Person.

I am BEYOND tired of seeing the new argument of X movie is bad because Y protagonist is bad because they did bad things, had flaws, repeated trauma, and had growth and character development and thus not portrayed as entirely evil. Art reflects our humanity and we are complex. And if our lives have been miserable we will always display that misery through art in order to derive some meaning for it in our lives. There's a place for happiness and happy movies. But I will never relate to it, and will always treat a happy ending like with Moonlight as desperate hope I can only dream of.

Omg not me thinking my Grindr went off 😂

I've been one a "art about gay guys being kind of miserable" kick lately with The Inheritance and Falsettos, so this came at just the right time.

"I'm sorry Frank, I love you but no." is from now on my favourite catchphrase.

To have another soul talk about all of us strangers is so gratifying thank you for reminding me of that time and where and when i saw it

I would like to clarify that although Queen Ann is certainly rumoured to be (and likely was) queer, The Favourite is in no way an accurate depiction of her life, reign or (and I cannot stress this last one enough) her character!!!!!