Apologies. I'm taking a break, and we'll see if it's an actual temporary break or a " Kids, your mother and I are taking a break" break.

@@SlowPokerTime omg!!! First my real dad goes off for cigarettes and now my Internet dad does?!? 😭😭😭😭 IS IT MY FAULT????

Not dead. Close, but not yet.

@@SlowPokerTime sweet, I'll start writing the eulogy now so you can approve or request edits. I have pretty bad ADHD, so I'll probably be done right about the time that it's needed. He was a good person. He made tens of people laugh on the Internet with his silly antics, his wife was 100 times more attractive and intelligent than him and no one knows how he got her, his children were the very picture of perfect, and he also had a career and very little time. Well, I guess he's got no time now. Wait, is that insensitive? Crap. I'm not good at this sort of thing. Oh, speaking of insensitive, does his untimely death mean his wife is now single? Hell yeah! How YOU doin?! 😍 Oops....there goes that ADHD running me off the trail again! Where was I?! Oh, that's right, do you know what the crab said to her husband when the man moved to Alaska? "We gotta get out of here! I don't wanna live on a culde sack!" 🥶

@@SlowPokerTime also do you know what happened when Tommy Chong built a donkey farm on a mountain?? He got high ass shit 🥺

Since all his chips were already in the middle, what would I have gotten had I raised? His car? I'm not really much of a Hyundai Sonata guy.

😁

Next year's Super Bowl ad may help. We'll see.

Not gonna happen, but you have to admire his effort.

🙏

You're doing the lord's work. I thank you.

💀🌊

That's racist.

Now imagine all five of us bowing.

Ideally without headphones

🙂

It's the same wig I wore in a play when I was a teenager, and back then it was for one of the peripheral characters in Hamlet, but can we say with 100% certainty that Larry Legend wasn't a peripheral character in Hamlet?

This ain't over, KZfaq. Nobody rigs an election like this and gets away with it.

@@SlowPokerTime I'm filing a complaint with the attorney general. UPDATE: They just indicted both of us on RICO charges.

The trick is to put in a ton of work into each video, which means fewer videos, which the algorithm hates. I just keep doing that and refuse to learn my lesson.

Theatre kid poker players 4evr

ACR fired DePaulo 'cause he didn't look stunning enough in a thrift store blouse.

The trick to KZfaq success is to cater to the tiniest section of the Venn diagram.

🤷‍♀️

😁

By a wide margin, of all my long-form videos, this one got viewed the most and received by far the most vitriol from people who felt clickbaited.

@@SlowPokerTime Great, get engagement, and also f*ck the miserable c*nts

You heard the man, algorithm.

@@SlowPokerTimefirst vlog I watched, funny asf. Like Vaughn GTO entertainment level but a proper vlog

Crank it to eleven.

You misspelled "erotic dreams."

@@SlowPokerTime Did you mean "psychotic dreams"? I'll report back in the morning...

👍

Somewhere in the afterlife Jonathan Larson is kicking himself for running with "woman or a man."

I don't see a ring, Dan. Game on.

Don't tempt me...

I'm not suggesting this is far better than "We Are The World" but I'm not denying it either.

🙏

Soon. Somehow the roadies are also me in costume.

I already used "This is the Moment" in Episode 16, but that doesn't mean I won't do it again. And again. And again.

🤞

NUTS FLOPR

The only clap speed I know

Not my wife, no, but yes, it took an obscene amount of time... Happy you enjoyed! ❤️

I love how with my first song ("It's Probably the Nuts"), I made a joke as if there was an album, and now I almost have enough songs for an album.

Hear that, Kenny Rogers? It's over.

😁

Stay tuned... 💿

I'll ask my kids if this term applies. I'm too old to make that kind of judgment.

I was angling for a Tony, but I'll take both. The EGOT clock's ticking, after all.

In an odd coincidence, we just received a cassette tape in the mail from my high school English teacher - a poetry reading as a gift for my ten-year-old son who loves poetry. Now I'll spend the rest of the day digging through old boxes to see if I still have a boom box.

😁