@@kristink5884 Well that just isn’t true. Lots of families live on one income. Lots. It’s a matter of choices and priorities. Thank you for your comment.

I am so glad you wrote me. I am sorry you are struggling with this. You seem very mature to be willing to write and ask about this. I'm going to come at this from her position first. There are many parents who try very hard to do the right thing and just aren't sure how to remedy problems. This causes frustration and anger which in turn produces yelling. Unless they know what to do about that, it continues. I suspect your mother doesn't know what to do about it. She has a lot of pressure on her to be a mom without a father in the home. That is very difficult for her and it sounds like she has other problems besides this responsibility. If she is checking your phone, she loves you. That is a very good thing, though it may seem annoying to you. She would not do that unless she cares deeply about what is going on in your life and wants to make sure nothing is happening that would cause you to be harmed. That includes doing things that are behind her back. She feels a real need to control the situation in order to keep you safe and on the right path. And remember, she has no support from a father in this case and a background of her own pain. And if she also perceives that you are not showing respect to her, she feels further from the ability to influence and guide you AND she feels unappreciated for all she does for you. It's like she sees herself as giving and sacrificing for you daily and is getting "slapped in the face" so to speak. This adds to her frustration and anger which causes even more yelling. So, first thing is, please understand her position. If you can look at it from her perspective, maybe you can set aside her behavior and understand it. Now from your perspective. I obviously don't know you at all, but I suspect you love your mom but do not like being around her a lot of the time because you feel she is controlling and unable to discuss things without losing her temper. You feel as though you are just trying to make it through each day uncertain of what will happen in your future. You want a relationship of respect and trust with your mom but don't feel it is possible because of her behavior toward you. When she yells, you feel helpless, angry and alone with no one to turn to who can understand that you just want some peace. I'm going to tell you two things that may shock you. Then I'll explain. 1. Your mother should not trust you. 2. Your mother does not need to "earn" respect. I know both those things sound crazy. But let me explain. A parent is very foolish if they "trust" their teen. What I mean by that is when a person is in their teens, they are constantly bombarded with temptations that could completely derail their life. This includes drugs, harmful fads, sex, and even relationships with friends that lead them to do destructive things that could land them in jail or worse. Your brain is not fully developed until you are in your mid 20s. That is why many teens make foolish mistakes when not guided by a loving parent. A wise parent will not completely trust their teen to make wise decisions because that is the nature of the teen brain. That does not mean a teen cannot be smart, intelligent and even have a lot of wisdom! They can and maybe you do! But it is the very nature of a teen to be heavily influenced by their peers and easily manipulated by pressure around them. It is also common for teens to take risks that are unnecessary and foolish not because they are stupid. But because they lack life experience yet have a lot of new found freedom since they are now able to drive and go out without a parent. So a wise parent will check on what their teen is doing, who their friends are, what activities they are engaging in, and certainly will make sure their social media and text life is within safe boundaries. My children didn't even get a phone of their own until they could drive. If I were a parent today, my teen wouldn't have social media at all until they were adults! The fact that your mother is checking your phone means she is trying. She loves you. Your mother does not need to earn respect. She SHOULD!! She should want to deserve it by her own actions. True! But, there are people who may not deserve respect because of their behavior, but the fact that they are in a certain position means they should get a certain level of it anyway. She is your mother. Because she is in that position in your life, she should receive a level of respect from you. She has given you life, she provides for you, and she obviously tries to fulfill her responsibility. She loves you. Just like you should respect a police officer just because he is in the position he is, or a teacher just because they are your teacher, or the president of the USA just because he is in the position of president... there is a level of respect we should give because of the office they hold. Not necessarily because of them personally. If you give your mother the respect she should have AS YOUR MOTHER, it will help. Spouting off flippant comments is not acceptable and will only serve to enhance the problems you are having now. But I will give you a little advice and hope you will try it. Next time your mom checks your phone, yells or and finds something arbitrary to complain about and starts to yell or even just argue, say, "I didn't realize that. Thank you for pointing that out. I will think about it and I appreciate that you care enough to help me do better." Remember a gentle answer turns away wrath. (Proverbs) At first, your mom will probably look at you with a gaped mouth and wide eyes wondering if you are on drugs or something. She may not react well at first. She may continue to complain and etc. But she will see something different in you and be curious. Suffer through the first attempt at this new approach. Then, do it again the next time. And again. With three attempts at this, you should start to see a change in your mom's behavior and probably she will ask you what's up. Tell her you have decided that you are going to change your approach to her and give her the respect she deserves because you love her. Do this for you. Not for her necessarily because she may not respond as you want her to --- but it won't be worse than what's been happening now, right? But, if you do this for you, it will grow your own character, and you will have a new confidence in yourself because you will do the right thing regardless of what others around you are doing. It can only cause positive things when you do the right thing. Tell me how it goes!

Well that's amazing! I suppose my nine children are the exception. And... all the other parents who have done this and it's worked. We must be the outliers. 😂

I totally agree. As a grandmother, it is not necessarily our job to do daycare for our grandchildren. But, if you do, you deserve all the praise and gratitude that should come with it. It is the parents' job to raise their children and the grandparents are supposed to be there to support and help when they can. But they are not obligated to raise their grandchild if the parents are capable to do so. And not because the parents are selfish and want a bigger house or fancier car. The best place for a child to be is in the daily care and nurture of their own loving parents.

There are several pieces of information that I do not have to give a reasonable answer. How old is your son? How long has he been in daycare? Is it full time daycare? What has he said in response to you asking him about this behavior? What has the teacher said? Have there been any big changes in his life lately? So many things that are unknown. It might be better if you email me and we can try to figure out what might be going on. [email protected]

@@pikabamboo4175 Thank you for asking. Socializing is completely available in many ways. Having siblings, cousins, doing play dates with other moms, playground time, and going to church. All these are totally valid ways to allow your child to socialize at an early age. Daycare is not necessary and certainly not full time daycare which is what this video is about. I’m all for homeschooling or private Christian school. I do not recommend public school anymore at this point. Starting them in private kindergarten would be reasonable at 5-6 years old but better late than too early. Lots of learning can be easily done at home before that with play and activities that include colors, letters, letter sounds, numbers and etc.

@@Shadow_buddy._. I’m sorry you had to go through that.

@@TheSchreckse I guess you didn’t watch the video. I suggest you do that before commenting. 👍🏻

@@genevieveama8729 the answer lies in what you have done in response to this behavior. What would that be?

@@genevieveama8729 as soon as they can walk they can start helping! 😊

@@BerryZain Thank you! Has it been helpful for you?

@@CesarZavala-bj8jj How old are you?

@@harinigopal2866 NOW!

Agreed.

@@Anh48927 I’ll work on that. 😊

@@user-wd3po8sd7k This video isn’t directed at childcare workers. It’s directed at parents. Parents should stay home with their little ones as much as possible and find relatives if at all possible if they have to work because of being a single parent. That’s the point. No matter how loving you might be, you still aren’t their parent and there are lots of other childcare workers who aren’t loving. Thats just a fact. What is best: Parents raise their own children. Moms stay home and raise them. That’s best.

@@damonstewart70 In what context?

@@SamsFoodChronicles Watch this. kzfaq.info/get/bejne/fNyjgcyqldrPdoU.htmlsi=U_IEQlX7nSwuVeHK

@@matthewhuot4189 what does she do in her spare time?

@@hulda2002 do you mean it’s too loud or the music itself is annoying?

@@MommyAnswerLady too loud to listen to the info

@@hulda2002 Thank you. I think I have resolved that issue in newer videos and I’ll have to look at redoing this one.

@@amberheaton9419 he is out of control. You need to take charge and win the battle. Be PATIENT and LOVING but determined. You can do this!

@@amberheaton9419 also, do not allow him to fight. Get hold of him and don’t let go until he surrenders. You can do this. Once he realizes he won’t win, he will give up. And if you are consistent, this will help him behave which will make him a much happier little boy.

@@themiragereigns those thoughts are at the beginning of the video. 😊

Thank you for asking. The first thing I want to make sure you do is watch this other video about how to prepare a sibling for a new baby. It is VERY important that your son feels loving toward his sister rather than envy or jealousy. You can help by doing everything you can to have him feel like he is part of her care. Yes, he is only 18 months old. I get that. He is not going to be changing diapers or reading her a bedtime story! But, ANYTHING he can do will help. He can take a diaper to the trash and put it in after you have changed it. He can hand her a toy, retrieve her binky, lightly pat her back when she is going to sleep, etc. ANYTHING he can do let him do it and encourage him to do it and then PRAISE him for his efforts. ALL efforts of caring for her should be met with appreciation by you. This will help tremendously in his behavior surrounding his sister. See this video first although I realize much of it is for BEFORE baby arrives. It is basically the attitude needed to help with the jealousy situation that seems to be developing. kzfaq.info/get/bejne/oNmYrKVixreXl4U.html To your other question: Make sure you have plenty of one on one time and eye to eye time with your son. He needs to know he is important and his feelings matter. Then, when he behaves badly, you can apply CTM with confidence as needed. If he is trying to get away from your hand, you can use both hands to stop that from happening as you described. You can put him on your lap too or whatever is needed to keep your hand there. Remember NEVER inhibit his breathing in any way and remove your hand as soon as he stops --- and follow the CTM instructions exactly. If you haven't downloaded the instructions, I suggest you do that on my website www.mommyanswerlady.com You can do this! I hope this helps.

OH... I forgot. The short shrieks are likely something different. CTM is for the tantrum thing. Not the short shrieks for attention. Here is the video about the short bursts. kzfaq.info/get/bejne/irqHlMaJramxpKs.html

@@jasmineg2503 I’m sorry you are struggling. Remember to watch ALL instructions before doing this! If you need more help, see www.mommyanswerlady.com.

This comment is a bit confusing. You are enrolling him in full time daycare and are ok with the negatives presented here? That's really too bad especially for your child. Or am I misinterpreting your comment?

@@MommyAnswerLady to me, these are things I need to assess whether I am okay with it or not. It challenges my thought process. Lots of people have different opinions and I’d rather take them as ways to check how I feel about something as well. I know that most of these scenarios don’t either bother me or they don’t apply to my situation

@@MommyAnswerLady how is it really “too bad” for my child when you don’t even know my situation? You just seem like a typical gringa that expects everyone to agree with your thought process based on your last comment. I gave you a compliment and thanked you for providing this content and then you disrespect me? Garbage channel then lol Don’t share info expecting everyone to agree with you.

@@MrsBreezyyB You are correct. The progressive parenting world is going so far as to believe any boundaries or requirements put on a child are too restrictive. Any time a child is uncomfortable in the least bit, that is abuse! It’s ridiculous and causing so much chaos in the lives of families who listen to that nonsense. I’m glad you can see the truth! I also appreciate the encouragement 💕

@@RDR18851 that’s wonderful to know! I wish other parents could see some solutions are simple if they are willing to think through how things feel from the child’s perspective. Children can learn self-control. 💕

@@MommyAnswerLady definitely! I forgot to mention this is my grandson and as yummy as they are, I still felt close to strangling him!!! so now that I did this, I told my kids about it and they were like 'oh, really???'. but they just move on with life! I am very involved in their care so I can keep doing things to help them grow up to be more responsible. for example, they throw everything from their high chair when they are done with it.... omg, so I keep saying 'no throwing, give it to me'. they give me this LOOK but eventually throw less! I just find the parents to be so overwhelmed and anxious so I am a level removed emotionally and it is very helpful.

@@RDR18851 I guess you didn’t see the video on this channel about throwing food? I’ll send a link! kzfaq.info/get/bejne/ebpjlqaeycnWgJc.htmlsi=05h4aNbxfSuiLvEM

@@MommyAnswerLady Oh wow! thank you, you are amazingly kind!!!

@@SmidgeofSnow-ye8gh that is so sad. That’s not only a problem for the people around them, but it is a problem for your niece. She will have a misconception about her place in this world that will likely affect all the relationships she has. I hope someone is able to intervene, but that can only happen if the parents have an open mind to hearing it.

@@MommyAnswerLady oh thank you so much for your reply. This four year old screams are so high-pitched that it is painful to my eardrums. when I make a comment to her grandmother, she just shrugged her shoulders, my impression after being around this for a couple of years is that there OK with it. I won’t be surprised if this child is kicked out of kindergarten. She is not in daycare nor is she in preschool and she is an only child. She is very defiant and mouths off constantly to her mother or her grandmother or aunts

@@SmidgeofSnow-ye8gh I’m sorry about all that. This is very harmful to her. I hope her parents gone to recognize she needs guidance.

Did you watch this video?

@@noella4750 I’m so happy it helped!

@@myfirstgarden3350 the consequence is no lunch. Thats it. No need for anything other than that natural consequence. And each day he leaves it at home, he will be hungry.

Here’s a video about that. kzfaq.info/get/bejne/aahjqq-UltWpnoE.htmlsi=LdZucG1aFhbqxnXJ

There is an entire playlist on this channel about how to teach a child not to throw a tantrum. That kind of behavior is not acceptable and he can learn that if you teach him. Here is a link to the playlist. kzfaq.info/sun/PL3UBb1ffpIiuVEk0xtsbb99TaYdq94-ND

That is amazing. Good for you! You are doing your best to spend most of her day and night with you and I know you will never regret it!

lol. Thats about the most ridiculous comment I’ve received yet! Thanks for the laugh and comment. It helps the algorithm. And btw--watch a video through before commenting. It will help you avoid looking so foolish.

@@Shyster099 That would be very wrong. A child needs to be able to let a parent know when something is wrong as long as it is not to tattle. We should allow our children to warn us if there is danger about to happen. See this video about tattling vs telling. kzfaq.info/get/bejne/qtWfiNl40avRm4U.htmlsi=QhCJtzK9ETsKvLNa

I think snuggling in bed is fine and I loved doing that with my kids. But no sleeping in my bed. They have their own bed for that.

I don’t give out my personal information. Thank you for your kind comments.