2 жыл бұрын
2 жыл бұрын
2 жыл бұрын
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@amanditawu 19 күн бұрын
Love this! I have not been able to get along with my mom until I read Dr. Lindsay‘s book and realized my mom is emotionally immature. Like Dr. Lindsay said, the best way to deal with this type of person is to set a distance and boundary, get control of situations and don’t let them frustrate you. I have realized our relationship may not get better. I live far from my mom and I don‘t visit her if she’s not asking for it. I am in a happier state that I no longer need to deal with her emotions so I can focus on my life.
@mistergarrett8175 21 күн бұрын
I had to go no contact from my ei mother for about 8 years in order to distance myself from a lifetime of a toxic family environment in order to find my authentic self,self reflect, heal my traumas and try to figure out what exactly was going on in my dysfunctional family system Initially I thought she was a covert narcissist but it didnt make sense because she seems to have some empathy. Now that i have done alot of work on myself and understand what is going on i have begun to repair my relationship with my mother but there are strong boundaries
@susanmercurio1060 Ай бұрын
I couldn't decide if my mother was a narcissist, but now I see that she was probably just emotionally immature.
@mcmurmies Ай бұрын
Thank you☺️
@Jeb9221 Ай бұрын
I resigned from my previous job because there was a colleague who kept picking fights with me for reasons I didn't understand. She constantly thought I was out to get her. I was not. I am a quiet individual who keeps to myself. After three years, I had to physically remove myself from the environment. I was a nurse and this sort of toxicity is prevalent in the industry. I still have my licence but I don't know if I want to continue practising as a nurse. If I do, it's only because I need the money. I'm in limbo right now.
@LarryMWeeks Ай бұрын
It sounds like you were dealing with a high-conflict personality - but before you decide to leave your profession, do consider other alternatives. No matter what industry you work in there will always be toxic individuals with whom we will not get along with - or who are toxic. Its not just in the medical field. Don't expect a perfect non confrontational environment. That is not in your control. What is in your control is how you think about these situations - and manage them. Don't narrow your world, that wont make you happy either. Remember - you live in the feelings of your thinking. At the end of the day your thoughts about these situations are the lasting culprit. That said, here are some other tips from this podcast and some others that might help. Manage Expectations: When dealing with emotionally immature individuals, it's important to manage your expectations and prepare mentally and emotionally for interactions. This preparation can help you stay calm and maintain your boundaries [ listen 29:32] Taking Breaks: Sometimes, the best course of action is to take a break from the relationship if it becomes too toxic or emotionally draining. This can help you decide what's best for your psychological and physical health [listen 28:20] Here are some other relevant podcasts I have discussing toxic work environments and related issues EP. 17: SURVIVING ASSHOLES: ROBERT SUTTON ON OUTWITTING THE JERKS IN YOUR LIFE Ep. 73: A Post Career World: Bruce Feiler On The Reinvention of Work EP. 3: WHY THINGS BOUNCE BACK: ANDREW ZOLLI EP. 52: THE GREAT RESIGNATION: ASHLEY STAHL ON CAREER DESIGN AND HOW TO GET UNSTUCK These episodes discuss the impact of toxic work environments, and the importance of meaningful work and self-care.
@Mindsetolympics Ай бұрын
This sounds like they dealt with lack of support in childhood like me, but people react to it differently….
@phyllislucia Ай бұрын
How does a counselor know if a person is telling the truth, and not just portraying himself on a favorable light?
@larryweeks9389 Ай бұрын
They, like everyone else, ultimately do not know
@rebeccacharles5758 Ай бұрын
It seems as though Dr Gibson is explaining some of what narcissistic people are like.
@michaeljackson7361 Ай бұрын
Narcissist, they all act like 4 yr olds
@michaeljackson7361 Ай бұрын
I leave and never go back
@joshuahenley8246 Ай бұрын
“They are going to do what relieves the most tension in them” 🎯
@peters8080 Ай бұрын
I find the terms /emotionally immature/ and /high conflict person/ both not very useful. A perpective that makes more sense to me is that we all bring varying amounts of developmental deficits, and the mixture of these individuals will yeild varying degrees of conflict. It takes TWO to have a conflict. If someone triggers me, then /I/ am the one with a need to build emotional capacity.
@miriamhavard7621 2 ай бұрын
Emotionall immature people are draining and generally not worth our time.
@MarcSmith23 2 ай бұрын
You’re accurately describing the features of emotional immaturity but you’ve not yet defined what it is.
@cheristanley7711 2 ай бұрын
Most people are immature in one area or another, so don't think you're perfect, because I found out that I was not. Just saying, some are intellectually smart and some have common sense. Its just what you're willing to put up with, in a relationship.
@MT-tx7bu 2 ай бұрын
When Dr Gibson mentions that the behavior is rewarded, because people can be highly intelligent and have a successful career yet be very stunted, emotionally. Boy, that one HIT! My father could be very charming and even appear to be helpful, overly helpful to people outside the family unit, but at home, very different story.
@robertafierro5592 2 ай бұрын
Underrstand that a Mental.Health professional will never tell.you that you are fixed. Well, not fixed. I should say instead, theyll never say we are done now. I cant help you anymore. You must take your new discoveries and channel them onto a productive path. Your appointments will.go.on forever. Its a business.
@robertafierro5592 2 ай бұрын
I think there is a little of EIP in all.of us.
@Alphacentauri819 Ай бұрын
It is a vast spectrum. I’ve worked with thousands of people… Is there a reason you need to say there is a little in all, as if everyone is the same? It almost seems like a denial, a dismissal. The amount of emotional maturity varies greatly, from person to person. Our society as a whole, has more who suffer from emotional immaturity however.
@matthartley876 2 ай бұрын
"Affective realism." Thank you. I learned a new word that helps me explain my mother's lack of object constancy..... :(
@yumildarodriguez1175 2 ай бұрын
Excellent
@LarryMWeeks 2 ай бұрын
Yeah, Dr. Lindsay was great.
@yumildarodriguez1175 2 ай бұрын
What's her email address
@LarryMWeeks 2 ай бұрын
@@yumildarodriguez1175 I would visit her website and contact her that way. I don’t have permission to share the email I have.
@moon8520 3 ай бұрын
I appreciate this conversation and these tips, but unfortunately these tips are designed assuming that the person is autonomous and a mature adult. What about people that are under someone else’s power? I can’t put a boundary on someone who feeds me. They will take revenge, and I might die of hunger. I know many adults who are financially dependent upon their emotional abuser. Things are incredibly complicated.
@DelSunflower33 3 ай бұрын
My mom mocks me when I set boundaries, I’ve gone no contact 38 yrs I’m done
@DelSunflower33 3 ай бұрын
My mom has a very ugly mouth, and unfortunately has spread it through my aunts and uncles… what am I to do now? I’m a single mom with a teenage boy, I feel alone it’s been years… I’m 38 and finally reaching out to my community… my son deserves to know that people love me that I am loved just bcuz and most importantly that he is too!
@tanyacarlyle1422 Ай бұрын
I have had to create a life with friends who are like sisters and women who are like mothers to me. It’s been very healing. Sending you love and strength 🙏
@anngray3292 3 ай бұрын
Is it possible to have meaningful and authentic relationships with EIP?
@Alphacentauri819 Ай бұрын
No
@leenajensen2522 3 ай бұрын
How is EI different from narcissism
@tanyatalkstoomuch 3 ай бұрын
I left my husband of 10 years this morning. I absolutely cannot take another day of it. I am grieving what could have been. The first five years were the best. I felt like the luckiest woman in the world 😭😭😭 now I have no home to bring my grandkids to and they have no Papa 💔💔💔
@lisehrby2565 2 ай бұрын
I hope you are doing well and still sure about your decision ❤ its normal to have ambiant feelings about a break up. You grieve what could have been and what was good. It doesnt mean it was wrong to walk away ❤
@tanyatalkstoomuch 2 ай бұрын
@@lisehrby2565 thank you so much for your reply. Yes I'm still pretty confident in my decision thankfully. It doesn't hurt that he keeps being stupid LOL...
@lisehrby2565 2 ай бұрын
@@tanyatalkstoomuch 😄😄 makes it easier
@ragepig1059 2 ай бұрын
Happy for you women will be so happy when we're allowed to have fommunity again instead of the lie of monogamous het relationship
@dalerohling5989 3 ай бұрын
25:00 - Curt Doolittle's work at the Natural Law Institute (NLI) would be of interest to Professor Domingos to solve the AI challenge of operationalizing language(words) "continuous recursive disambiguation".
@antoniostrina82 3 ай бұрын
I liked this interview but I disagree with the part that says to keep the distance from people who don't want to change. In my opinion, we should be more mature than them and be severe just like a parent is, and teach them how to become a more responsible adult.
@JohnAlot 4 ай бұрын
For years I attributed my former partner's histrionic, angry melt downs to her Latin culture. The reality was her emotional immaturity, borderline personality caused by severe childhood trauma.
@sheilaabrahams1322 4 ай бұрын
Being immature, they do not realize that there is such a thing as a win-win situation. Everything to them is a zero sum game.
@larryprimeau5885 4 ай бұрын
It sounds that emotional immaturity and NPD are quite similar.
@ralphricart3177 4 ай бұрын
How to deal with an emotionally immature family? Don't go anywhere near them!
@marialorda8921 4 ай бұрын
Oh, God, thankyou so much because You let me listen to this fantastic human being. Thanks always, Lindsay. My contact with my mother is near zero. I'm happy now, after 55 years. ❤❤
@gloriadonahue7241 4 ай бұрын
I can't see the difference between this and narcissism. Is there a difference, Dr Gibson?
@LarryMWeeks 4 ай бұрын
Dr. Gibson differentiates between emotionally immature individuals but they sometimes overlap. The traits can sometimes appear similar to narcissistic behaviors, such as the need for attention, manipulation, and lack of empathy, which can lead to confusion between the two. However, a distinguishing feature Dr. Gibson notes is that emotionally immature individuals often maintain a victim mentality, which is less common in narcissists.
@user-fl3rc6nv4x 4 ай бұрын
Perfectly said Dr Lindsay. It’s my parents who needed the treatment. Many thanks Carol N.I.
@wtf9987 4 ай бұрын
I have become aware now of some difficulties I have with certain people - and I struggle with my own emotional maturity at times. I have one friend left who requires a lot of emotional management when in her presence. She notes the slightest facial expressions (which I didn’t even register making!) demanding to know why I made that face and so on. Every inflection of my voice is questioned if she she doesn’t like the tone. She is highly observant and intelligent. She also has been diagnosed with terminal breast cancer - however her condition has been stable for going on 7 years. She uses this as a cudgel - I need to be treated just so as I have cancer. Everyone around her is a narcissist (and yes - she had a highly narcissistic parent and I witnessed some things when we were teens) My last visit - which was pre covid - I spent much time justifying my actions and words, facial expressions and even body movements (that was an aggressive hand gesture! Don’t bump into me, the table I’ve got my leg propped on; or sit down too heavy on the couch’. And then the interrogation ‘why did you do this/say that? Are you trying to hurt me?’ Truthfully I feel terrible as I would have walked away years ago but for this cancer. We talk on the phone every 2 weeks or so and she really wants me to come stay at her home. I would go but I cannot stay with her. This relationship leaves me wrecked sometimes. I have a history too, and recognizing things in myself has helped me come to realize this stuff isn’t normal (I’ve been around a lot of EIPs, and I can be one myself although I see it changing in the last few years). I’m so glad I found all this info!
@user-qj4gr2ow2p 4 ай бұрын
24:36 "They are not being this way because they mean to hurt you, they are trying to soothe/heal themselves", was so healing for me. Thank you for this insight.
@lorirhodes870 4 ай бұрын
Some do
@Benjaminleo815 3 ай бұрын
Yes @@lorirhodes870
@s.a.l.450 4 ай бұрын
I really recommend persistent distancing, and ending these relationships, wherever possible, and setting the largest possible self-imposed boundaries you can, with those you can't get away from. I think emotional immaturity can co-occur with bipolar and persistent depressive disorders, but excusing the abuse because of these disorders, just doesn't make one's life more tolerable in their presence. Just get free, to the maximum extent that you can. You're life is worth it.
@duromusabc 5 ай бұрын
Emotionally immature people are narcissists- they are empty shells inside , are broken inside , and fear intensely their flaws and vulnerabilities and have core shame and self loathing - hence why they can’t self reflect and lack emotional empathy and compassionate empathy . They only have cognitive empathy which is superficial , intellectual , transactional, functional, and manipulative . They gaslight, project , do DARVO , do word salad, and blame shift/deny , and act like the victim - they must make you , the empath target, the problem - it’s part of their false script false narrative- your part in that fake narrative is you’re constantly the villain the scapegoat emotional punching bag They cause drama , and put on a false self because their mindset is an alternate reality they made up All of the Above is a codependent relationship - pure codependency but is toxic to the point of emotional abuse All these things mentioned above is also called narcissistic supply aka emotional vampires 🧛♀️ (very draining ) They lack love inside - most tragic of all - they can’t love
@meloneymoore8856 5 ай бұрын
Thank you for this deep complexed insight❤❤❤-Xclusyph Icon
@Jane-vo8eg 5 ай бұрын
Stating holding boundaries with emotionally immature spouse, sibling, parent coworker, adult child is so exhausting and for me I find it better to just avoid them in my personal space because they just dont get it.
@ruthieclarke9125 4 ай бұрын
Same here! Least contact possible works for me.
@robertafierro5592 2 ай бұрын
It's not a failure to declare an estrangement. It's a collective agreement.
@EveningTV 5 ай бұрын
The tricky thing is that the emotionally immature person isn't going to behave that way in front of everyone. They can pass as normal as long as relationships are not deeply intimate with a lot of regular contact. My ex husband and parents were all emotionally immature but most people didn't see them under stress and they care very much about managing perceptions, so I'm not so sure about the last point about how to know what emotionally mature people are like. I doubt anyone else besides my sons and I felt unsafe around them.
@Juiceflight 4 ай бұрын
This is very true. Only my ex husband's own family knew how dysfunctional he is. All of our friends and acquaintances thought he was Mr. Laid Back. He became a hot, angry mess that blamed everyone else when he was under any stress. He was good at hiding it in public.
@terotivities6731 3 ай бұрын
I noticed that she said that it would become apparent the more you got to know the person...and it would be easier to spot if you knew what to look for. My guess it that most people never actually friends with your ex. More like aquitances. Also I don't think most people know what to look for, or even know that they should be looking for it in the first place.
@1948rambo 2 ай бұрын
Especially covert narcissists!!!
@MrMikkyn 5 ай бұрын
I really liked Master Algorithm, it was reaaaally good.
@susie5254 5 ай бұрын
I found it very validating that it is generally due to the non-self-reflective (I call them dysfunctional) people that cause the rest of us to seek therapy.
@Smartbeautifulawesome 5 ай бұрын
They think you’re being “mean”
@lucretiasulimay1968 5 ай бұрын
Wow, just found your podcast . thank you just subscribed!! Had a restaurant n several family members, lots of assholes in my life 😅😅
@LarryMWeeks 5 ай бұрын
Hey thank you! Robert was great but sorry for your challenges there.
@LarryMWeeks 5 ай бұрын
Agree! I would also listen the episode with Piers Steel on motivation.
@soldiersvejk2053 5 ай бұрын
Tim Pychyl‘s advice is the most helpful on procrastination.
@lemostjoyousrenegade 5 ай бұрын
She’s spot on! 🎯Well done!
@russellheyns1846 5 ай бұрын
Doesn’t it occur to a therapist that the person who comes into their office is only telling one side of the story and may omit or edit the version they tell of their behavior? I have read her book and although it tries to be unbiased it really isn’t. She begins by saying that internalizers and externalizers have it equally bad then goes on to basically say the internalizer is the superior type. And as she dedicates an entire chapter to describing the internalizer (whom she clearly sympathizes with) it becomes clear that she is essentially describing female nature. That said, I do think that she nails a lot of the behavior of the immature parents. But again, she is basically describing any parent from the 20th century. The insights were great but a bit unrealistic for real humans. A bit made for people who already want to be a victim. Not totally but it means that way.
@artandculture5262 4 ай бұрын
Are you one of them?