Been 2 weeks since my family moved out of the city. The depression started late.

Cái kết buồn

I am depressed and suicidal I am tired of putting on a fake smile and trying to make everyone happy I can’t find a reason to live on and I don’t know how long it will be before I decide to end it all because that seems likely right now

is it strange to love someone that you don't know single thing about them ? My mother died when I was 2 years, so I really don't remember anything about her, I don't even know how she looks like . sometimes I wonder why she get pregnant if she will die soon, I always said that I hate her and I didn't miss her and her death means nothing to me, but in the end of the day I know that more than anyone that I lied to myself to be honest I am ready to die if it means i will meet her again... but I didn't end my life because my dad, my dad is the reason why I can still smile Allah take my mother soul but it least gave me the best father and siblings. Anyone who wants end there life. Please remember that you are loved by your friends, family, and lover (don't even try to hurt yourself) please stay safe and warm, don't forget to drink water, I hope you have a good day/night ❤❤

I don't want to let him go, but it's too late We should've just been friends

guys i dont think that i am allright

Today lost my dog my cat grandma and my kids

Time doesn't heal anything , u just learn to live with it until you become indifferent to almost everything . U know you can't leave cuz there are people who depend on u !!!

Time doesn't heal it , time hides it

If I only ... If I had only done it, the past can no longer be changed. It would have been so easy.

it's ok, this is the life supposed to be lived

Im tired of life because im ugly and social anxiety idk what to do i wanma comment suicide but hey guys your not like me whos gets harrased and depressed and social anxiety and have rude famile members and fake firends but please dont be like me i dont want it to happened

Back in March, my girlfriend died. We had a long-distance relationship and had been keeping up with each other for around thirteen years. She was stubborn, egotistical, controlling. Never in a bad way, but these traits drew me to her. She was also soft hearted, she loved to hear me talk about nothing for hours and just listened. She teased me about my ocd. Joked at how much if a dirk I was. She loved me, so much. I loved her. We joked about getting hitched and often called each other wives. She made rough days easier. Our last year, she declined in health. She ate less, slept a lot more and insisted she was fine, just sick. Doctors told her she was on 'this side of death'. I argued, yelled demanded she go back to the hospital to get care. Next day, on the 3rd. She died. My woman's last words to me was a hearty chuckle. "Yell at me some more." I called her a goober. The worst part of this story is that I didn't know she passed on until the 29th... I was so lost,I still am.

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🫰🫰🫰🫰❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

PTSD, INSOMNIA, BIPOLAR DEPRESSION, no one I can talk.. i reached out to my classmate girl she made me to reach insanity. islam says those who kill themselves will go to hell. I don't want to suffer in afterlife too

When i was a 4 years old my parents divorce, I didn't really understand at first until we moved to my grandma's house, me, my siblings and my mom, we all lived with my grandma along with my uncle and aunties. Not before long we leave there, I realised that my mom had been arguing with my grandma, aunties and uncles, I didn't know because every time they argue my 2 sisters will bring me and my little brother into our room and play with us, that's until every small mistakes we made will make our unties and uncles angry. Time flies by and we got better until this year came. Me and my siblings had to move to our father's house because of a big argument on my mother's side, at that time I just reach high school, I was 13 my younger brother was 12 and my two older sisters were 16 and 17.me and my 17 year old sister were living in hostel but in different school hostels. My younger brother and my 16 year old sister were living with my dad, and going to ragular schools, my dad changes that's what I noticed. But I still can't forgive him for what he did. The memory of him screaming at my mom and throwing things around the room still feels fresh in my mind. Now I'm just getting my revenge on him, but I know it feels wrong, I acted nice towards him and made him spent his money a lot on me. I know it's wrong, but I can't help, I used to think he was my hero, but know that hope of mind turn into revenge, that's on my father's side, on my mother's side, is different, she doesn't want me to call her a lot when I'm at my school hostel, but when I'm at home and didn't call her for just one day she would go crazy, and start comparing me with her past lovers and everything I can't stand it. I can't stand it! She likes to put her burden on me, she thinks I'm so strong because she had not often seen me cry and I had always took good care ofy siblings and her. I had to force my mom to eat and if she doesn't eat I would have to bring a plate of food to her and let her eat it, and she would finish the food, I had to save my money and give it to my siblings or give it to her to buy food or to buy fuel for the car.Now that has become a habit of mine. In my hostel every day I would call her to check on her if she had eaten or not. Then I had to call my siblings at my dad's house to make sure they are OK. All of this burden is really hard. Now In my hostel, people keep using me, and making fun of me bullied me through my emotions, I know I'm not good in taking care of my health but you don't have to make a joke about it. It happen a few weeks ago, I had to take my meds in class, and one of my friends came to me asking if I had forgot to take any meds and of course I said no because I just ate them , then she said, that I forgot to eat my meds for craziness, then she laughed, I pretend to laugh to. She said she was just joking. But she didn't knew it alreadyhurtedme. All her Jake's really hurted me. Everyday, I would sleep at 12 to 1 a.m and woke up from 3 to 4 a.m,our lights out were at 11 p.m but I just couldn't sleep. I got to the conclusion Iwas sleep deprived, but I couldn't careless, everyday I feel like vomiting and I had a headache always, but I acted the cheerful me, not showing my other sad side to my friends, but not my trusted friend, she is my most trusted friend, she would fore me to go into caunseling and force me to tell her everything, I also told her what I prayed everyday to God. Everyday, our school hostel will do solat hajat between maghrib and Isyak and during solat hajat I would pray for only these 3 things °to forgive all my sins, my mom's and my dad's, my family, my step mom's, and my steps family, also my friends, or so called friends. °to give my mom happiness and riches. °to take away my life before this month ends*June*, to let me die without anyone suffering of it but me. To just let malaikat maut to cabut My nyawa. And a few days ago in this week, my last prayer was almost answered, me and my friend was going to our night prep. We were walking down the hallway and then I saw lights and motor sounds, I quickly stop my friend in her tracks, then I say my two teachers driving past us in a motorbike.If I was alone at that time I would have just let them ran me over but I was with a friend and she was in front of me, so if I didn't stop her then she would die first before me, and I don't want that, so I had to gave up that chance of mime, the reason I haven't commit suicide long ago, then just waiting for fate was because of the burdens I have to carry.i tried to suicide every day but I just can't because of the burdens, and because I'm worried of what will happen after I die, what will happen to my family, will they be alright, will anyone take care of them when I'm gone, will my siblings take my place and carry my burdens I don't want that, so I kept waiting until today, I kept waiting until I die. Well that's all I can let out right now, soory if it was to long or that reading this made your day worse, I'm sorry again.

I've suffered from so many friendships, so many. What's worse is that they weren't just casual ones, they were with people I spent every second of my day with, woke up at 6 in the morning to talk to, spend hours thinking about them, excited to get home to talk to. Some ended up betraying my trust, some just drifted away and some were just, toxic. So here I am, 4 months later, listening to the same depressing music and still unable to climb out of that dark pit I've jumped head first in.

Bro the comments are just deeply sad 😢

Hmm wondering any one else exactly at 3 am 🤔

"The era of lies"

You only live once don't end it to early

Im a dude okay. And i just need to vent bc of my girl bestfriend. She means a lot to me and we have shared awesome moments together. She now is in the early stages of a relationship and i worry that she wiil slowly lose interest in our friendship and then i wont have her as my bestfriend anymore. I voiced my concerns to her and told her that this happened to me before but she just brushed it off and said that im too important to her and thats why it wont happen. Im just scared and wanted to vent. Ty for reading, have a nice day or night and if u got advice lmk please. (sorry for the bad english its not my first language)

I am a duide okay. And i have a girl bestfriend. I truly love her from the bottom of my heart. We have had insanely deep conversations and every time we hang out its just amazing. The thing is that she kinda got someone in like the early stages of a relationship and im just really anxious about her leaving me bc of him since that happened to me before. I really dont want that to happen and i already told her that i worry about our relationship ending, but she brushed it off with "she wont do that bc im too important to her". Thanks for reading my rant. And sorry for my bad english its not my mother language. I wish you a happy day or night and if you have any suggestions lmk :)

I miss her so much♥️

My best friend lost his mother last week Thursday not only was it his mother but it was my mother as well listening to this playlist really makes me think what my bro is going through i hate myself for not being able to be there for him cause of the distance.......am i really a good friend?

Name song?

i hope one day my mom sees im worth something despite that i dont look good and have a hard tiem speaking or getting the best grades...i wish my grandma was here and not in our home country, i miss her so much, i need my mom so much, i dont trust her, im scared she'll be mad..im sorry for everyone ive put down..

Really worn down. Mental health has been a journey since I was 12, finally got on meds that seem to be helping a bit. However now that I'm happier, my "friend" hates it. She drags me down, makes comments that are rude towards me, generally verbally aggressive. Won't apologise unless prompted, then gives a half-hearted one that means nothing. She sees nothing wrong with her actions. I'm cutting her off. Hard part is I'm friends with her girlfriend and we share the same friend group. I want her out of my life forever. Especially after she tried to convince me to take my own life because I could contribute nothing to the world. I always attract the terrible ones. Hopefully one day I'll attract a good person who can be more than a friend

This title makes me wanna cry

I fell inlove with someone and he just died today because of leukemia.

Sometimes I think that , In my past there is nothing to cherish but I’ll make sure that i cherish my present so that in the future I’ll have something you cherish ~Someone

Almost a year ago, I quit my job and moved to a new country to be together with my girlfriend that I had a long distance relationship with for 3 years until that point. Earlier this year my best friend of 15 years told me he didn't like me, called me a manipulator, and left me. I finally managed to get a job in this country after 5 months and got fired a couple weeks before my trial period would've ended. Yesterday I had a breakdown and my girlfriend broke up with me and left me alone in the apartment. Now I don't know if I'll be able to stay in this country, find another job in time, spend time with her like I used to every single day. I wish I appreciated every moment I had with her, because once upon a time it seemed like we would have them forever. Now that they're over, it's not something I can get over. People all around me tell me I've changed and I don't know why, to me it just seems that I started falling apart for the first time in years because I've never actually felt this bad to a point I couldn't handle it on my own anymore. In all ways possible, this has been the worst year of my entire life so far and there is nothing left that would let me say "At least I still have _". Nothing that would matter enough for me to keep going. I need to love myself to move on, I can't do it for her or for other people because that's how I got into this mess, relying on others for joy and purpose. But when I keep making mistakes that ruin my life, I cannot help but hate myself more than I've ever hated myself in my life. I wish I learned to communicate my emotions sooner. I wish I would've been better. I look in the mirror and I cry at the amount of potential wasted. There is so much happiness that I could've had if I only kept my shit together. If I kept myself together rather than crying, spreading only sadness toward the people around me. I wish I would've made different choices. I wish I wasn't me. The moments of hope and joy I still grab onto only slip through my fingers as the trembling fear and anxiety return, asking me what will become of me now and I have no answer for it. Any reason or logic I think of to keep myself going is overwhelmed by the pain I don't know how to treat. I feel paralyzed. I've lost myself.

I feel like it’s better for me to die I am done

GIVE ME SPOTIFY LINK PLEASE

I didnt know i was the last one she spoke to. Its all my fault. Its all bc I couldn't convince her not to take them all. To not take every pill in those bottles. I thought i coukd help but i didnt. I only begged and pleaded her nit to go. I told her if she didht reply to me bu the next morning I'd ask her auntie. I told her i didnt wanna go to her funeral. I BEGGED her not to keave me behind. She did it anyways. In our next life i hope i meet her over and over again. I hope i get to date her or even marry her. I hope we never separate. I didnt wanna keave my room for days. Not until her funeral. I cried for months i loved her so so so much. I loved her more than feiends even after we broken up. She convinced me not to commit 9 times in 3 months. I couldn't even save her once. Some friend i was. December 3rd at 10:56am, 2010 to march 14th at 10:48pm , 2024. I love you so much, Lillith.

Ill win

its been 5 years

As a high schooler I feel life is sht always bad never getting better but instead getting worse I don't even have a proper family my childhood was ruined my mother traumatized and abused me my whole childhood my recent parents don't care about me I don't have siblings had a sister she left house to live with her BF an now I have to endure all the high schooler bulsht sigh if you have or about to have a child plz take good care of him or don't give birth to them if you can't take good care of them I am telling you with my experience an one more thing remember he is a human he has his on limits how much he can do and endure he is not a machine get marks an wasn't born to be ideal type guy he is he let him live his life my step mom fckd mine don't let his get remember parents aren't always right

I miss the days when I was truly happy. The days that felt like they would never end. Like there was nothing holding me back. Now I look forward to the end of the day. Cause it’s the only time of day that I feel most at peace. I guess it’s not even the day time. It the night. The night time is what I feel that I need. The only time no one can see that I’m slowly breaking. The only time I feel like myself. And I wouldn’t even say I feel like myself. I just feel like I’m always on autopilot. Hearing the next thing that I have to do. And then just nodding my head and saying “okay”. I can’t even remember the last time I was actually “okay”. What does that even mean anyways? The last time I can recall that I was okay was… I’ll get back to you on that one. Back to the night time. Night time is when I feel the safest. Not having to be judged. Not having to worry about school or practices. Not having to think about the horrible things that go on in my brain some days. All I have to do is grab my headphones and listen to music while all of my fears and doubts drift away until the next morning. The next morning when I realize that I have to put that stupid fake smile back on like I didn’t just silent cry for an hour the night before. And I wish that I could just tell someone that I’m not actually doing as well as they think I am. I really do. But. I’m afraid if I do that they’ll just disregard all the things I said. Tell me to “ keep on pushing through” because it’ll be worth it in the end But he much longer will I have to keep pushing? I can’t push through everything forever or I’ll eventually reach a breaking point and end it all. You know, sometimes I feel like that would be the best solution. I just feel so numb. And it feels like there’s no solution to anything. and I’m trying to put a brave face on because I know that my friends and family need someone to lean on. But who to I get to lean on? I just wish I could go back. Start over. Become someone. Someone I know I can NEVER be. No matter how much music I listen to. How many times I cry. How many times I breakdown in the bathroom stall before practice each day. Nothing will ever change. No matter how hard I try. I can’t feel anything anymore. Even when I’m with all of my best friends having an amazing time. Making so many memories that will last forever. I still go home at the end of the day just as miserable and worthless as before.

When the replacement from the god arrives, you will forget what you lost.

When the replacement from the god arrives, you will forget what you lost.

Do you ever feel like you can't express how you feel, like literally no one understands.... nobody. I hate it. I have no one I can actually talk to. Yea people are like we're here call me! But if I ever took them up on that offer and spoke my mind. They would think I'm nuts. The one friend who understood died on me! I hate this. I hate that I can't talk to anyone I suck

Is there a Spotify playlist for this its really good also this was uploaded on my birthday 😂

I enjoy this playlist a lot, I’m sure we all appreciate you reuploading this 🙏

Can you give me first speech original video:(

I feel like I'm ruining my relationship with my girlfriend by talking so much about my problems but I don't ask about her's. She's reassured me that I'm not but the thought still lingers in the back of my head and I feel like she doesn't want to see me anymore.

I failed my life but I know there's still a hope....brb here later

Be like you are a emo get a life turn to God

hmm

Best advice is follow god, read that again I said follow god, not religion, build your relationship with god the build your family on the rock that is god, I’m still in my journey following god and it’s just me and him, growing, understanding and loving and being kind, every day I remember the Lord I am happy and joyful I’m so glad to follow god trust me please do the same