Thank you

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extreme fear of being judged and humiliated

Question: How do I find my "tribe?"

Put your attention on the emotion. And btw, he's not saying to start talking about it... and all of the injustice... but put your attention on it. This little bit helps, thank you, because trying to put my mind on external grounding always makes me feel like im running away from it at the same time. Its very stressful.

This is so relatable.. Thanks 4 sharing. Its comforting to know i aint alone and one can really get better..at some point i started to learn sign language just to avoid talking

I have been like this for about 15 years can't retain what i studied, every thing is a mere memorization with no understanding and even memory is weak. I'm 30 years old now and still struggling with it. I'm zone out mostly

Wish you would have made this without the curse words so I could use it with teens. Good content

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I feel so seen with this video. Thank you. It’s crazy how realizing breathing is necessary and fundamental as the key for survival and anxiety! This is definitely a skill for life long practice.

I recently noticed that socializing is actually energizing but the social anxiety mindset is draining, this constant overthinking. I think that I am an undercover extrovert. And I also believe that you can become extroverted if you really want to work on yourself without overwhelming yourself.

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Peaple bully me bro....becoz I'm not confident as I my appearance is.

6:55 I've been bullied in school and I have no friends. Always very awkward in social situations because of my lack of eye contact and nervous/shaky monotone voice. I've never had an outlet to talk about my issues and figure out how to fix myself because my parents because they've never struggled with having social anxiety.

I recall being younger and thinking in images and internal monologues. I got older and it became so natural to me I didn’t think about it besides the fact that I noticed the lack of imagery as I got older. I took psychedelics once felt like it deconstructed my brains web/tree of concepts pre trip I’d think in concepts that branch out and connect it was fast and automatic. During the trip I was meditating had an out of body experience ego death and became hyper aware of my thoughts forming and me being a semi separate observer. This was the birth of my internal monologue it mimicked the bit scene in tv with an angel and devil on your shoulder two opposing views. There were pros and cons to it like everything. I was still observing the thoughts but I’d use them for creativity and such but the constant thinking that I couldn’t turned off started draining me and annoying me. This is when I felt too self aware of the monologue I just wanted it to stop and for it to be quite then one day I woke up to silence. It kept me in the present being far from thoughts of the past of future. Now that it’s been even longer it feels like my brain has reconstructed the web of concepts a new and that’s what I’ve been thinking with however It requires actual effort to search through it like a database now unlike before. So most of the time my heads silent with nothing going on just me observing feeling me emotions. I seem to be functioning fine however I do find myself going into my head when I’m talking to people expecting myself to be think and for their to be silence. It’s kinda of funny because it’s much like if my conscience threw me under the bus where I used to have help by using the monologue I now have to wing it. It forces me to be present I guess but most of the time it makes me feel like I’m not speaking enough. Also wanted to add that Ive had a constant stress in my life since I was born the same exact stress and all my stress branches from the same problem all relating back to my family. Basically I expect an argument or yelling from how my parents act. So it’s not far fetched for me to say it’s fight or flight and the ego death reset my fight or flight allowing me a moment of grace before the very thing that stressed me out became my own thoughts and also the realization that I could forget something so impactful in my life probably sent me hurdling towards the same stress I had from the start. I do feel like I’ve released the pent up emotions attached to a lot of past events and that’s why I tend to keep my head out of the past.

This makes no sense. Why does NO ONE have any idea why this happens or how to remedy the issue?? FFS!

Suppressed anger. That is the cause of social anxiety. In ACE ACoA childhood - we learned to push down our anger - because we were consistently punished by undiagnosed untreated mentally ill caretaker(s). This way we were conditioned to automatically hide and ignore and push down our anger. Without out anger - we do not have shield against toxic people. Then various other emotions step in and try to resolve conflict from their perspective. Which means - our compassion and empathy will try to handle toxic people - which is impossible, since toxic people are toxic. They are pathological liars. Compassion and empathy does not understand liars - since it is based on honesty and not hiding, not having hidden agenda. The only emotion that can help us handling toxic people is anger. We do not need to express our anger with rage and fury. There are other healthy and wise options available to show our anger. Our anger will provide our brain enough data to make better decisions for our well being - which include avoiding toxic people and making plans which do not involve toxic people. Making and planning and creating better healthier wiser and saner future is one form of expressing our anger in healthy manner. Anger provides us with energy. Without allowing our anger emotion - we are unable to determine whether we are in actual danger. All we have is other people's anger - which we were conditioned to automatically fix and soothe and people please and fawn to. We do not please our well being - instead we please the other person, just like in ACE and AcoA. Without anger - we will develop toxic shame and harsh inner critic - which will copy paste the toxic untrue ideas from toxic people - that we are inept and that we are unworthy.

I went to a restaurant and this guy that city knew me and I saw him and he looked familiar and I didn’t know his name and

Hey Rubin from down under Australia. Often listen to your videos on the train to work. This one really resonated with me, text book what I have been going through, especially with public speaking, the physical symptoms etc. I am also trying to discover why I am like this and what has caused my anxiety. Would definitely be interested in some mentoring with this. Thanks for sharing so openly.

Wow nice content 👏 each belief feeling like ur reading my mind.😅 If I fail to speak, connecting with people, failing to do some work related tasks makes me feel worthless. Actually First I was very funny loving to connect with people but after physically bullied I am fearing to connect,love with people.

my sister and my cos is my bullie

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my past was physically bullied 😬

This is the most relevant video of your's I have found all over the internet that is exactly relates to my problem. Thanks a lot.

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Thank you

Today my ears got shut down in crowd don't know the reason and throat was getting tight worst experience.

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I tried the therapist and found I just talk in a circle and never actually get advice just them dragging everything down to well how did that feel I’m like I don’t like you asking me how it feels lol So therapy is out as for social anxiety I have it bc I’m surrounded by 60+ people and I’m 48 in social events and maybe it’s I can’t connect but I do with some one on one but everyone at these events seems so shallow that I don’t really wanna engage is this anxiety or me just a jerk lol

It’s unfortunate because I eat healthy (single ingredient foods) and exercise regular and I still get this. Specifically 4:32

Rubin, i do a combination of EMDR and watching youre videos and it works for me... Been in anxiety for 30 years and i am in transformation

If you're struggling with social anxiety, low confidence, and low self-esteem can book your free discovery call here: calendly.com/meetrubin/20-minute-discovery-call

Wow you really touched it! Thanks Rubin ❤

My problem is I’ll look at someone’s pimple or something and I just can’t look away it’s kind of weird I know.. and then I get all the anxiety symptoms and I make it weird for the both of us

in different social situations we get different disturbing thoughts then ending up with guilty thoughts loops🔁.

If you're struggling with social anxiety, low confidence, and low self-esteem can book your free discovery call here: calendly.com/meetrubin/20-minute-discovery-call

Sorry for the long post. I've been coasting with my anxiety symptoms since 2018. only recently after the most severe and prolonged term with it, and after some recent counselling I started drilling down into my two main symptoms which is an extremely quavery voice and random neck spasms. In the past week I've watched this video and another of someone else's which exactly describes what happens to me and yes it is humiliating but it seems that acceptance and even admitting it to yourself is the beginning of joining the dots. To add that by putting your content out there helps other to see that they are not alone as until this week I felt that my symptoms appeared to be exclusive to me. I knew of no one else with them, and to my complete surprise have found hundreds of others like me. I have ended up almost undoing all of my success at work by self sabotaging my success and avoiding meetings whenever I could, due to this eroding my self confidence over the last year. Time to get it back and go get my work goals - brilliantly explained, thank you 😊

hell inside when it gets triggered.

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Amazing story and so relate to every part of this. Well done for fighting and not accepting you circumstance. I’m expecting to be next up.

Not helpful at all

Feel like I can’t breathe. Throat closing. Can’t get enough air. Light headed. Sweating palms and feet