and it works as an onlyfans series as well

mercy

@@trippcailean9594 asshens?

I'd rather not think of that, if you don't mind.

This week on "10 Items I Never Showed You": A credit card that expired in 1997! My favourite camping chair! The thing I keep locked in my attic!

I mean at least it looked like Jar Jar

He know where stands on that

One of the worst. That one was the worst

Allow him to forget.

Yeah, at this point he could get a lot of mileage out of "That's the second worst/ugliest/etc sweet I've ever seen!" Because Jar Jar will always be the worst.

His doctor probably told him to stop huffing plastic fumes

He's not allowed to do that anymore....

@Leonard Persin His landlord or his doctor, in all likelihood.

iirc the blowtorch disappearing had something to do with demonetization? blowtorches too violent for 2021 toddler youtube

Sad onion Funko pop

Hey cool video with the six modded GameBoys dude! Nice work :D

Sick sad onion merch yasss

@@heggy_69 an Ashens funko pop for the sickest irony

@@niallscottanimation Perhaps the only funko I'd actually want

If that's true it's amazing

​@@bl4cksp1d3r Yup, it's true, I believe it was specifically that he eats that many per round. He also does (depending on dice rolls) up to 200 sanity damage per turn, when the player maximum is 100 normally. One later sourcebook added the rule that, if you were playing in a time period that had them, hitting Cthulhu with a nuclear bomb would only result in him regenerating an hour later, now lethally radioactive on top of all the other shit. He was intended to be a game ender. All of the greater Mythos beings were, because one of the biggest themes in the original Mythos was that in the end, you were never really going to make a difference against these alien godlike beings.

@@passingrando6457 OK, I get that choice thematically... but that's kind of overlooking the part where, in the original story, Cthulu was driven off by spearing him with a ship's prow. He actually went down pretty easily, compared to your typical kaiju. Sure, he just went back to sleep, but that's still kicking the can down the road by a few centuries at least.

@@jasonblalock4429 Except he wasn't driven off by the ship, it just sailed through him. Go back and read it, Cthulhu's head was mostly reformed by the time he looked back. He basically shrugged his shoulders and went back to sleep afterwards. Lovecraft responded to a similar question to yours in a letter, basically asking "would you bother waking fully to get up and chase a gnat that bit you while you were napping?" Admittedly, humans don't pop like a jelly-filled water balloon, but he regenerates from literally everything. He doesn't need durability, he's like a sea cucumber and the T-1000 terminator fucked.

Thankfully, Narwhals protect us from him.

Yes, professional wrestling.

What, Shaheed? You DON'T think professional wrestling look like men making love already?

They apparently spoon at the end lending further credence to this theory.

why do you think they are sticky

not really, one of the images is a choke

It was a nice little easter egg.

Thank you, this one comment alone just made my day😂😂😂😂

TIL how a diseased lung looks like

eyy we got an Ashens celebrity here! that thing seriously grossed me out too, like they couldn't have just dyed it a more palatable color?

My first thought was it looks like a placenta. Almost like Joanne was trying to spread her biological essentialism through the medium of licenced sugar products.

Not grey and black enough.

He must have bought the domain of the website just to advertise the movie, smart thinking on his part

While friendfactory dot couk is just an Ashens easter egg, friendfactory dot com is trip to the edge of the uncanny valley.

Update: It now just gives a 404 proceed with care

Have ordered that Ghostbusters incense burner - must have it! It's a pre-order presently...

It's the only way they learn

AAAAAAHHHHH!!!! PAAAAAIIIINNNN!!!!!! I broke my hand yesterday because of the hate comments I get on my amazing videos. I was so angry that I punched a hole in my computer. Please don't comment anything mean on my wonderful videos, dear az

"THERE IS NO ESCAPE" "Just tell me about the sad onions 😄" "THERE IS NO ESCAPE" "Okay, but how does that 40yo Fanta taste? 😁" "THERE IS N" "Sorry to interrupt, it's just I've spotted a crown...and it looks like it's inflatable! 😃" "PLEASE LEAVE"

@@AxxLAfriku oh my god shut up

Mate, this channel started with Ashens reviewing a half-broken LCD game in a cheap plastic casing pretending to be a PSP. If anything the more pointless the tat, the more it belongs here.

Did you say tattoo?

It's better than the dog's bollocks.

It's the only way they'll learn.

A Dog's bum is the best part of a dog. Say what you will but it's the truth!!

That’ll teach em!

The thing about delicious looking fake food ornaments, they always just make me wish I had the real thing

I think they are called onigiri

Those are jam doughnuts

@@KKHell except a deep fried mars bar

I thought it was those fish eggs

@McFlickers last year lasted about 50 years

I didn't even notice it was removed. I kept watching old ones when there were no new uploads.

I like the way you think, Rudi

I've tried modifying things like that before. It has to be good electrical tape or it will just end up sliding/falling off.

They could have at least put seaweed around them, or sesame seeds on the outside, or had filling showing through... They're so plain, utterly underwhelming 😅

@@bladepanthera the Gordon Ramsay of plastic

Jelly donuts, as Brock would say.

The tan-coloured one is probably supposed to be a fried/grilled onigiri, which is both a real thing and also delicious.

Jelly donut keychain*

He also used it to advertise his movie

Ashens needed to release a set of Pogs for his movie

Clearly you have not played as Byleth in Smash Ultimate... the character made to unnecessarily promote a recent game and milk it for what it's worth.

Do you think it's counts as currency? It has her face on it 🤷🏼‍♀️ 😂

7 billion years from now, the sun has finally exploded. Queen Elizabeth, the only remainder of Earth, is floating in outer space, hoping to find another immortal creature for company.

@@FrenchToast663 I dunno, she might leave her physical form when the Golden Throne dies.

Yeah, about that….

@@darkmagicmage4526 oh but the main event has just begun, my friend. I said that she would outlast her Funkopop, I never said that she would necessarily be alive.

Jimothy. 🤣

I have one of those! It's something else

My flatmate has about 10 and he put them in a summoning circle in my room while I was away. The memory of walking into my room again haunts me to this day

@@MZBrass the ritual was not complete

@@kanna-san. Probably for the best. That would probably have brought about the Antichrist.

"join me on my journey, and live for the foreseeable future"

"I can assure you I do not have a malignant growth"

@@brandoooon4688 i have no idea what that one is

@@mathieumarlaire IT'S NOT A TUMOR!!!

I'm pretty sure that the investigator in Call of Cthulhu did mention a pronunciation of Cthulhu's name- though it was describing how the cultists who worshipped it pronounced the name, so very likely Cthulhu's true pronunciation is impossible, that's just the best they could do

I was thinking they could replace the heads on the gummy monster

I was imagining a headband made out of them, one of those plastic ones, with all different tiny heads glued on, halo-ing your own head, a miniface tiara 😂

Omg, he told you not to go there. Now you have virus! Only ashensoft can save your pc now. Buy for 39.99. "A excellent antivirus."

I can't believe he had a custom yo-yo made for that joke

@@elfalcon666 yoyo might have been real since the website existed at one point, he just bought the domain that was for sale.

i think the yoyo is real, the website definitely existed before ashens presumably bought and changed the site (a few whois lookups show info being retrieved at various points between about 2014 and 2020 and of course its current registration), that and i looked through countless pages of countless custom yoyos and none of them looked like the one ashens has here

That kinda happens though.

That or an article of sharticle

I'm 44, never seen them before, but I want one now 😂 I'm lying, I want them all 🤭

Number 2. Giga Cactus You don't want to know what Number 1 is.

@@jacksonpercy8044 is it that massive Lego Saturn V?

@@TheHutchy01 Wrong. Hint: Pennsylvania Railroad.

Yup. That's wrestling for you

And they were right

Its perfectly okay to be wrong

cool indeed XD, don't know if mine are part of the same set, but I have a golden salmon sushi (rare one) and a wasabi and pickled ginger piles one.

fried onigiri is great

Oh lord, a thread of weebs

@@terrytheblackmage4799 question. Why would you assume its weebs and not just people who enjoy sushi type food, or actual japanese people?

The thumbnail scared the living daylights out of me when I checked my subscriptions lmao 10/10 love it

That creepy raccoon is nightmare fuel.

I shit you not I got that thing for my little sister for Christmas and she loved it, so maybe we're the weird ones 😂

r/dontputyourdickinthat

@@herbiehusker1889 creepy trash panda

The last item literally appeared in a ten reviews in ten minutes video

Maybe it’s based on the movie character

If there's no copyright or similar around her and her name, then I guess they can do what they want. There's plenty of cheap, knock off Royal memorabilia and TV and movies seem to use them as they see fit.

People aren’t protected by copyright. In the same way that you can make and sell a painting of the queen, they can make a 3D model of her. Copyright would only come into play if you were using an existing photo of her or something, but even then the copyright belongs to the person who took the photo, not the subject of the photo.

Liz 2 ain't immortal, you know.

@@ZT742 likeness rights do exist and it's why you just can't make a tom cruise action figure.

What does? The queen?

i don't know why, but that's also one my favorite ashens lines, too.

If Chef Excellence was a wrestler, that'll be his catchphrase with Stuart as his manager.

I watched chef cuss of idubbz and maxmofo and all them lot lol we need that humor back

Not gonna lie, I'm a little jealous of this kid who's mother shows him vintage KZfaq classics instead of 70's music and minion memes. Lucky kid.

@@BurnsyMcBurn Hes well lucky, im like a really cool mum 🤣🤣

They will haunt my mind forever, thanks Dave.

Great moves Dave, keep it up, proud of you.

Funko Queen and Gummy Cerebrus

@@fuzer909 to be honest I do think that is the POINT of Funko Pops lol

@@jacksonpercy8044 Sarcasm detected... ha.

Still, two types of Onigiri is...really boring in comparison.

Thanks fkr the clarification for Stuart. Still yeah... perhaps a bit boring looking. 😬

Fr lmao

Facist Fuggler Toy not settling too well.

Yeah that made me cringe.

@@Skyrilla why

@@Skyrilla It's a joke, you hollow husk of a creature.

@@dogman9291 Tired of the same old jokes, you mindless consoomer.

Great programme!

Well, it was supposed to be late night, but I remember it being shown uncensored at 5pm one Christmas, much to my delight.

There's also the Scruffy Scruff fake toy ad from The Aquabats! Super Show! It has the same horrifying teeth.

What the fucking fuck, I dont even know how to process your last sentence.

I bought one for a friend who loves creepy dolls. She thought it was adorable.

@@jamies641 sounds like my sister

@@Foreskin-Forest Hah. 'Chase' just means rare. 1 in however many in a box that goes to stores will be a rare verson and the button on its' butt is golden. Also it's teeth and eyes glow in the dark.

A sherry you mean? She's rather partial to it

I brought some sea life style jelly sweets like the old he-man sweets ,and they didnt taste like they used to. they were made by the same company that made the He-Man ones but the flavours really bland to what I remembered think it might be because they're not using real sugar in them anymore.

Darth Maul had a voice?!

@@fluidthought42 yeah. He just wasnt very chatty when he fights. But he talks more in Clone Wars and, weirdly, Solo.