The waffle house has found his new host

do more ples

I got a goofy thing that happens in the lore when Abaddon the suck master trys to tell people he just uses chaos like a tool when they use him like a booty call only calling when they want something and he come running like a simp

The emperor sends his silliest marines to fight his funniest battles

Happy straya day, majorkill!

"Here lies brother Damascus who can judge the strength of his enemy but not the radius of a vortex grenade explosion."

A helmet, caved in from top to bottom lies under another plaque “Here lies brother Dominique. He got between a spacewolf and his ale.”

"Here lies Artorious, who's wrath burn only slightly hotter than the detonating ork tanker."

@@ancientgearsynchro Ere lies Burna, da onli ding dat glue broighter Dan him waz when e wiz in kombot wiff’z flama un he tried un “airblust”, nudden wuz left of old burna but ez goggles

@@jackmack4181 Based.

Lmao

The biggest joke is that 30 thousand years in the future, you still have to take the stairs

@@CrazyDutchguys goes to show how reliable stairs are.

​@@CrazyDutchguys We all know that the Age of Strife began with those AI escalators.

@@strigibae Escalators are just motorized stairs, they are still stairs. Just of the mars pattern design, takes much more resources and prayers.

That’s too XD

truely a ork moment

Don't forget one of the Orks mooned them. So one of them shot the Ork in the ass.

"so we got one peice of bad news and two peices of good news" "Bad news first. shoot" "Bad news is that a large mob of Orks have ben found few miles away" "And good news?" "first good news is that the Orks have yet to know we are here as they are to busy racing eatchother. so busy we could infiltrate the race under disguice" ".....And second good news....?" *hesitently shows trophy* "We won the race"

The idea that beneath the duty, honour and indoctrination, the space marines are basically teenage jocks is even funnier to me, especially since it makes me curious if they go 'terminator tipping' when nothing is happening.

@@SH-qs7ee i mean aren't they child soldiers?

Brothers, I have fallen, and I can not get up!

​@@thejuiceking2219no, they're just recruited as children. They spend a LONG time training before even becoming a full space marine

Brothers I am pinned here!

What book is it

I believe it's either the second or third book of HH, the second is more likely.

Nice PFP, looks like you're about to vomit down someone's throat

"And yes, this i-" *CRASH* "-Is normal."

That's TTS Dorn, not real Dorn.

Eh dorn’s not that autistic, but still that’s funny!

Worse yet, it is actually effective.

Maybe Guilliman should get the Mechanicus to work on making a speech to text device.

@@barbiquearea There is one, it's called an Auto Quill.

too many damn kids.

No way 💀

That's like some countries.. and western ones back in the day.. when welfare doesn't exist.. kids are like bands of roaming dogs or wolves.. they run up to you politely and ask for candy or gum.. and if you don't have they take a pound of flesh

well hot damn it even the infants and the teenage little shits from Fenris hates nerdy sorcerers.

In retrospect Fenris is one of the deadliest planets in the Imperium of Man, classified as a death world right next to Catachan. So they either learn how to fight to survive or die.

Lorgar whould be sexually attracted to the new situation

Perturabo would end Inquisition and religion instantly. Mortarion would not care. Konrad would just be Konrad. Jaghatai and Sanguinius would be same as Roboute now. IDK about the rest... Angron would be Angron.

@@pixelgun4789 depend if it's angron without the butchers needles, with them he'd just be angry. Without them he might do a better job then big Robby G

That, or "How would the loyalist Primarchs react to Guilliman's return and management of the Imperium." 😎

@@malal4751 as much as I would love Angron without nails, I think he would have them in head.

I can see that personally. The idea is pretty funny and cute

Why am i picturing a ultramarine like guy starting to say "We cant achieve Erections" and Corvus just shoves his through the wall to shut him up and not get second hand embrassment.

​@@Subject_Keter WE CAN AND ITS FUCKING LETHAL

_the corvussy_

The longer the conversation goes on the more he wants to go back in the box

That scene was so perfect dude

I love how human Guilliman appears sometimes. 😎

@@Archon3960 Far more so than his daddy Big E.

@@Sgt_Glory Yeah, Emps wasn't good at communication. It's probably why Malcador did it most of the time. x)

that ain't dodging the bullet, more like deflected a high caliber, hyper volicty vindicare sniper round. that snotty son-of-a-bitch got off so easy that it is as though the emperor lend him his own lucky fortune unto him. could you imagine how much he'd sky rocket to the top of any other primarch's shit list for that comical display of insolence

“Brother, I am pinned here!!!” 😂

"Brother, I have fallen......nonononono!!!!!"

There the other type of fallen that they laugh at.

Chapter serfs are forklift certified confrimed.

And in typical majorkill fashion it's heavily exaggerated. It was one terminator who was only recently elevated to the Deathwing so he was still getting used to wearing it and briefly forgets he's not wearing regular armour anymore. ‘Some kind of sub-level here,’ reported Daellon. ‘Descending.’ ‘Wait!’ yelled Telemenus, but his warning came too late. The audio pick-ups brought the sound of splintering woods and crumbling ferrocrete followed by an almighty crash. Daellon cursed without pause over the vox. ‘Report,’ barked Arbalan. ‘Brother Daellon misjudged the load bearing of some internal stairs, brother-sergeant,’ said Telemenus, trying not to laugh. For once he was glad somebody else was attracting the negative scrutiny. There was a chuckle from Cadmael and a sigh from Arbalan. ‘Daellon, can you climb out?’ asked the sergeant. ‘Negative, a three metre drop at least. The floor will not hold my weight to pull myself up.’ ‘No threats detected,’ Telemenus added, his auspex sensors encompassing the long row of huts. ‘Understood,’ said Arbalan. He sounded impatient. ‘Daellon, remain in place, I will signal for an armoury extraction team. Telemenus, rejoin the squad. Armoury extraction teams are regular teams for bringing back destroyed, ruined or damaged vehicles or other gear like armour and weapons, they're not a "haha da keep doing dumb stuff" only team

I like this idea. Chapter color scheme?

@@Scufflegrit that’s pretty cool!

@@TitusCastiglione1503 grey, black and green. Chapter symbol is two olive branches wreathing a single bolt round.

@@Scufflegrit that’s actually fairly unique

a whole chapter of action hero one liners.

Couldn't contain the sillyness

I wasn't expecting to laugh so much with the Iron Striders. As a Software Engineer, I feel so at home with all that petiness.

Is this all one big reference to the Emu War? It makes sense that Majorkill, being Australian, would fear and respect Emus...

Lucius, staring at a bunch of stunned factory workers - "...Well this is just awkward for everyone."

Bruh the daemons laughing at Lucius because he dies by a landmine

Those poor motherfuckers

It IS bullshit, but respect to the author of the story for their willingness to take Lucius’ power to its illogical conclusion lol

@@fluffywolfo3663 Honestly, what bugged me is that the author was specifically inspired by online forums of fans discussing ways to finally kill Lucius and how they were having fun with the discussions. And then he went and gave a BS feat to prove that all these cool ideas wouldn't work. I just feel like that's a disservice to the fans in some way.

More like Failbadon

@@kirkdyteo993 the armless. Tho it would be interesting seeing Booby G fighting him because I want to see him how much has grown in battle since Morty

@@sergiovergaramontemiranda2116 Ah yes, Failbaddon the Armless, he who accomplished almost nothing after 13 tries than Horus did after a single one

@@staringgasmask At least spare him the first try, he barely had a couple of ships and he had to fight through the Black Templars. Though, it doesn't justifies how much of a failure were his 12 other tries.

@@sergiovergaramontemiranda2116 harmless the armless

They also thought they Killed a God

"No way Titans exist. Nobody is dumb enough to waste that much resources." ::Titan warhorn sounds:: "Wow ok they are that stupid, throw a cheap ass rail cannon on that cheap ass Tiger Shark and go kill their god."

@@Matt-md5yt Specifically, they killed a greater demon of Slannesh and were convinced that it WAS Slannesh. (To be fair to them, said Deamon might have been trying to explain that it is part of Slannesh to them as a boast, or the cult who summoned it might have thought it was Slannesh itself and the Tau didn't know any better.)

Space Marines are inherently competitive, fanatically devoted to their cause, never question said cause, will massively over-react to any perceived insult to anything they value, are MASSIVELY cliquish and insular, use slang that outsiders don't understand... They are basically 'roided up teenage boys, minus the sex-drive. Marine1: "Guys, that Eldar chick over there? She said the Emperor sucks!" Marine2: "NOOO!" Marine3: "That's totally heresy, man!" Marine4: "Not the Emperor! No way!" Chapter Master: "Don't worry, my dudes, we're totally goin' to mess their shit up, big time. Let me just txt all our successor Chapters, then we'll meet up around the corner from their Craftworld, and when we're all there, we'll totally fuck their shit up, bros."

Makes me think space marines are just super muscular and armoured 13 or 16 year olds

@@thomasbrown6723to be fair, i think most of them are being genetically modified with 16 at mínimum

kriegsman I assume?

​@@accursedatom236Highly Possible.

Wait what do they do I need to know and I kinda just stumbeld in here

Could you please give somthing like an example?

@@ereinhard8820 spartan 2s when seeing each other in the field, will sometimes put two fingers together on their visor, and trace a smile along it as a way to say hi. It’s been dubbed the spartan smile since, and it’s usually done by the twos and early threes.

@@lemanruss2491 okay, thats fucking adorabel😍!

@@ereinhard8820 iirc the reason they began doing that is because they'd most often meet each other in the field where they'd be in full armor and didn't want to risk removing their helmets to greet one another.

I thoroughly enjoyed Battle for the Abyss, and think it was fairly fundamental given that the tide of battle around Calth and likely further into Ultramar could well have turned against the Ultramarines, meaning they wouldn't necessarily have been able to partake in cleansing the Imperium and holding things together in the aftermath of the Heresy. The colossal battleship emerging from the warp and blowing up would likely have confused the Loyalist fleet but they wouldn't have known of the heroism of those that sacrificed themselves. I've always viewed this outcome as being as pivotal as if the Eisenstein had been destroyed at Istvaan rather than escaping to Terra with their warning.

I must know it!!!!!

Same with a White Scar Kahn, made me chuckle He finally gets back to allied lines and says "Take this" and just hands off the baby before limping away (He had been torn to literal pieces)

It’s called “honour to the dead”

@@x5KULLCRUSHERx Thank you! I'd love to have a chance to listen to it again.

The comment of "majorkill" is a scam. Hope I am not too late

@@lamalamalamalamalama587 You weren’t, I never trusted it.

‘It was a tactical retreat in the face of overwhelming boredom.” - Argel Tal

And if it does not work, perform the Rite Of Percussive Maintenance and eventually kick it in the ceremonial dent. Noone can convince me that the chants to activate machines ise not "oh please, you f*cking piece of crap, just turn on, now will you?" sung repeatedly.

Lukas the Trickster,

@@robertjames6936 he is the Loki of the space wolfs.

And pranked Magnus the Red.

Aye... "Fucking furries!"

don’t forget that magnus was picked up by 3 (mostly) naked custodians

They scream the whole time

taking grim derp to another level.

@@badabingbing474 its seems more like something slanesh would do instead of khorn.

@@MusMasi "rage boner" was not the best words to use here for sure.

I'd imagine that's every day for Fulgim.

@@horusluprecal1144 scanner probably has a demon in it.

@@horusluprecal1144 it would have a either a picture of himself or Ferrus taped over it with a hole where the mouth should be.

I wouldn't be surprised if Sanguinius did it... or if he was the only sensible one to have removable gauntlets.

I doubt it's canon because how could a regular old ork take down Lord Horrik Canorem, Son of High King Valorik Canorem, High Prince of House Canorem, Master of the Blade of Gaia, Keeper of the Gates of Loralo, Wielder of the Kaloric Flame, Bringer of Hope, Herald of the Holy Order of the Adamantine Lance, The Paladin of Koto, Slayer of the Lion of Essa, The Triumphant, The Light of Stars, The Eradicator?

Which book?

@@Grimsowerart I think it’s echos of eternity

Personal favourite little bit from the Space Wolf omnibus is one giant guy throwing their Thunder Hammer repeatedly and constantly disappointed retrieving the weapon afterwards, hearing people going “fuck, they’re returning!!!” Great stuff to go read!!!😂

My favorite scene is in the crimson fist omnibus in which a group of veterans are trying to decide how much guardsmen they’re worth. The casualness of it is just so nice.

the only part i dont buy is Tu’Shan Laughing I always imagined him like a perpetual expresion of a Moai

Trazyn: "RANDOM BULLSHIT GO!"

Just think, Abbadon The Despoiler, Arch-Heretic, everything the Imperium dispises, was out their slapping pipes.

I absolutely love this thank you for this information ❤

And he wasn’t even trying to shoot himself, he shot Cyrion and it ricocheted back at him.

Magnus totally farted just before teleporting.

they really are child soldiers.

There was one ultramarine who got so claustrophobic being in a dreadnought he started shitting his pants. Guilliman walked up to the marine and said "Hey bro! Chill! Damn your arms are huge" The marine just blushed and that was it.

I think I recall guliman was nor even that mad, just told him to put it down, knowing his son's could not resists the collection of shiny sharp pointing things.

Actually, the reverberation was something else by Magnus. For it happened to be the day after bean burrito bight..

"They killed my friends...and my monkey." Absolutely heart breaking moment during the Siege.

The goofiest moment with Land was earlier in the book remember? He gets saved by an Astartes Astartes gets shot accidentally by Land Traitor Astartes tries to capture him... Loyalist hacks Traitor in half Loyalist says "Youre going to be okay" Then gets his head blown off .. Ad neaseum All the while Arkhan land is having a full blown mental breakdown at this.

@@Nukefandango I'm kind of hating you for quoting it, because for the last 2 days I can't get those fucking lines out my head! I got very weird looks when I randomly quoted it in public.

I am not here.

I am not here

And Arendi calling his gene-father an idiot. Twice. But bro had a point tbh.

@@gravebird398 Arendi Never left the Dropsite... He insults Corax because he's actually an Alpha legionary. (Sorry for giving that away for those who care)

@@codysing1223 Wasn't it Solaro An? Still got Deliverance Lost to finish

Yeah I doubt being deaf is going to protect you from a noise marines weapon, i guess that's what the derp moment is? I mean those weapons damage/destroy solid matter your hearing not working isn't going to save you. Even deaf people are going to notice things like *sonic* booms, you can still feel vibrations.

Deaf Terminator> Noise Marine

Terminator was smart to replace ear drums with hearing aids to counter the noise Marine.

🤣🤣🤣 probably called him beaver or bugs bunny one too many times.

Orks are hilarious

@@Fortheemperor382 You can't tell the orks they are not winning 40k lol

I couldn't stop laughing when I read this moment

BROTHER I AM PINNED HERE

imagine being a dark angel serf and not being able to contain your laughter? what a way to die.

Step-marine help! I'm stuck!

Leman Russ tanks were designed as tractors, and Baneblades were classed as light tanks. The Dark Age of Technology was nuts.

So that’s literally me then 😭

I'm gonna call them the Sandmen, and you can't tell me otherwise.