7 Things Narcissists Do When They Lose Control Over You

Рет қаралды 1,157,912

Күн бұрын

Unlock the unsettling truth about what happens when narcissists lose control over you in this eye-opening video, '7 Things Narcissists Do When They Lose Control.' We'll delve into the manipulative tactics they employ, including smear campaigns, fauxpologies, and hoovering, as they desperately try to regain their grip during the discard phase. Discover the emotional manipulation and emotional blackmail used by narcissists, along with their threats to maintain control. Whether you're dealing with narcissistic personality disorder or simply seeking to understand narcissism, this video sheds light on the complex dynamics at play.
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Watch next:
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#narcissist #narcissism
*In this video, I share the tips, techniques and insights that have worked for me in my own journey of healing after narcissistic abuse along with expert tips and tools I've learned through years of coaching narcissistic abuse survivors. I am not a therapist and this video is not meant to provide therapy of any form. #narcissist #covertnarcissist

Пікірлер: 2 900

@CommonEgo 11 ай бұрын

Okay, so now what? Here are some ideas: Download the free guide here: www.commonego.com/checklist And signup for this month’s group coaching session here: www.commonego.com/group-coaching

@silverink1824 11 ай бұрын

I have a question, what counts as a faux apology and would this be considered one? The person I received this from is capable of setting them but then she in heat of moments when it's not quite an argument but not quite a friendly conversation she would say I don't know how boundaries work I recently stopped talking to this person after like almost 4 years of a relationship and the last five months were extremely difficult and complicated for me to get through I was holding on to a lot of things that I felt I couldn't talk to her about to the point she started changing certain things I wrote and I didn't like it. But I held my peace until the very end and then I finally broke and exploded. Keep in mind throughout this entire time I've made my fair share of mistakes. I have apologized for them but I just want to know if this is one of those types of faux. Apologies

@alphavegas1 11 ай бұрын

These traits fall more into Sociopath than Narcissist. I think narcissists became the new, cool, and hip catch all word and people threw Sociopath behavior into Narcissism. There is overlap, no doubt, but what you described is a Sociopath not a Narcissist.

@JaytheEmpath 10 ай бұрын

What happens when you walk away from a narcissist in the middle of a conversation? My stepfather will go on about "woe is me" I stopped talking to him but my mother asked me to talk to him again because it bothers him.

@GoldzenJuLz 9 ай бұрын

❤ 2:14 an apology, thats total bullsh1t.maybe if i say sorry then ill be able to do like i want, everything that hurt you,whatever im so sorry for.....im just saying it....bc im still gonna do as i deem doable....holy balls this hurts soul deep...wheres a miracle when you need one?

@caragare3214 5 ай бұрын

People at the city here

@truthisfree3402 Ай бұрын

They get really mad when you just don’t give a crap anymore.

@Confessions089 15 күн бұрын

Big mad. 😊

@clarkkent3730 6 күн бұрын

supreme indifference is the key! (Gray rock) feel nothing....they dont matter

@goddessvibes11 Жыл бұрын

"They may even making you start thinking YOU'RE the narcissists" That hit me so hard.

@imlijc7588 Жыл бұрын

I believe you. It's heartbreaking to bear until your close ones come with the events that they have silently witnessed throughout the entire marriage. Yes truth always prevails in the end. Be happy. Go out..meet with the one that God had planned for you.

@christabaca9310 11 ай бұрын

Yes. I've heard this too.

@benjaminewering5329 11 ай бұрын

Totally, Iam feeling that right now. There ist a small child in me, that Always thinks: " ...but what if Iam the problem, that Iam the abuser and she is the victim..."

@angel4animals956 11 ай бұрын

If u r ever “worried” u may be a narc? Great news my friend ! U r 99% HIGHLY UNLIKELY 2b a narc. They r all sociopaths who lack empathy/compassion/ any “normal/good/thoughtful” thoughts /feelings/brains. They r actually brain damaged…science is proving this slowly but surely.❤🎉👍🥳🎉🥰they care zero about anything that involves “sleepless nights of worries”.Or about anyone or anything that involves u feeling genuine human concern/Shame/guilt,etc that might make u a threat to others (like ALL NARCS ARE!! )They r the worst dangerously destructive heartless monsters still, unfortunately, walking free among us, blending in with real actual human beings. But I’m the end, they are the most pathetic miserable empty self-hating/self-destructive parasitic human vampires who feed off the kindness/love/trust of their innocent kind overly trusting/forgiving/generous empath victims. Too bad❤❤

@bigdallyc 11 ай бұрын

I'm actually sitting here watching this video asking myself if I'm the narcissist.

@cherylpalazzo352 9 ай бұрын

Ignore a narcissist no matter what they say! They want you to argue back, any attention is attention. Even if it’s negative. Try ignoring one , oh boy

@clarkkent3730 6 күн бұрын

I did this with my neighbor; I ignored her presence; her words; as though she didnt exist; most of the time i avoid her at all cost because she is deeply manipulative and toxic...however; one time i ran into her on accident and i didnt acknowledge her at all; the next day she was screaming at me through my open window in my kitchen...she looked like she had been up all night stewing over it! So i confronted her and exposed her and rebuked her and described to her in detail her demonic manipulative narcissistic attitude...i called her out on everything i could remember and said; "this is why i avoid you like the plague; because you have the demonic plagues of egypt inside you!" she hasnt spoke to me ever since and has avoided me...

@indominion 2 күн бұрын

Egyptian demonic plagues are the worst 😂

@elsh332 9 ай бұрын

1. Fauxpology 2. Hoover 3. Chance encounter 4. Play the victim / play on your empathy 5. Make false accusations 6. Smear campaign 7. Threaten you

@brianallenbaytop3493 8 ай бұрын

This is every Saturday for me

@joegloveryLife 8 ай бұрын

Yes this happens to me at least once every weekend.

@rebeccaerb9935 7 ай бұрын

That's it

@rebeccaerb9935 7 ай бұрын

Sometimes there is no apology

@MsDannyQ 7 ай бұрын

Great mine skipped steps, went straight to hoovering, skipped to playing the victim, then made false accusations, tried to get my address out of my mom, Idk or care whether she’s making a smear campaign or not. I’ve cut all ties to people who still speak to her and grey rocked family members who are still in contact. The less people who have any connections, and news from me to be able to be shared to her I want it next to none.

@jcnlaw 2 жыл бұрын

Seasoned divorce lawyer here. Great video! Get educated about narcissistic personality disorder. If you get a sense that you are dating a narcissist, RUN. DO NOT MARRY THEM. Stay safe out there and live your best life!

@jaydixson1731 2 жыл бұрын

Unfortunately you don’t know what you don’t know until it’s too late on these narcs. They could even tell you they are a narc and you cannot imagine how bad it can really be. Let me assure you to RUN 🏃‍♀️ away from a narc

@javanjunkindahouse6625 2 жыл бұрын

Good advice! I’m sure you’ve seen your share of ended marriages and the impact of narcissistic personality disorders. Cannot be easy to negotiate

@pinkrainbow1 2 жыл бұрын

@@jaydixson1731 One should always have boundaries up which prevent anyone from staying in your life who doesn't deserve to STAY there. The very moment you find out you are with someone Who cannot treat you with decency, consideration & respect You need to shut the door immediately. Stop offering second chances and thinking someone will change. People are who they are. If you put that boundary up for anyone it should protect you from these types of manipulative people in the future.

@jamieseiple 2 жыл бұрын

@@jaydixson1731 Healthy people can spot a narcissist, abused people can not. We try to live and learn, sometimes the learning is hard...

@sandycheeks3473 2 жыл бұрын

@@jamieseiple This is spot on!!! I was so broken when I met my ex and all hell broke loose. Now that I am in a better space and dating I can spot a toxic individual by the first date/ conversation.

@davypatt1 Жыл бұрын

If a relationship doesn't feel right, it's not right.

@elizabethbrown8833 11 ай бұрын

That, is the best advice I ever heard. Thank you for sharing.🦋🐛 🙏🏻

@MochaZilla 10 ай бұрын

@elizabethbrown8833 honestly its just common sesne not even advice.

@davypatt1 10 ай бұрын

@@MochaZillaMany don't listen to their inner self, at least not straight away.

@4AB0CA3 10 ай бұрын

Simple as that

@cherobinson6371 9 ай бұрын

Narcissistic show selves the first time we meet them. They will Literally tell u what they plan on doing to you with a story about some incident they heard about and in the End? They tried that incident/ Scenarios On you! They can’t help but blurt put what they intend to do and are capable of doing. F someone is talking to u and the scenarios they talk about are Abusive? Mean? Drama? Get away that person. Normal people don’t dwell on drama

@TheMallyjoe 8 ай бұрын

Distance yourself , don’t talk to them , don’t call them and absolutely don’t marry them.

@Rebelliousoul Ай бұрын

After I left him for 1yr. He married some lady who had a house and money. She left him after 3 years of marriage and sends him only $100 monthly. He thought he was going to get her money. Haha he got his KARMA...

@56music64 11 ай бұрын

Never heard my mother, once in her entire life, that I was around her (49 years) apologise for a single thing. I never shed a tear for her in my entire life, not even when she died, but, I do thank her for helping make me become who I am today. Strong, very self assured, an empath, totally independent and not a narcissist.

@Abstractthoughts007 11 ай бұрын

❤❤❤

@inzichte 10 ай бұрын

My mother is kind of the same.

@rebuttalc2075 9 ай бұрын

Their apologies always start with “I’m sorry you…”

@stevel.2759 7 ай бұрын

My mother too. Hear! Hear! It's not our fault we shouldn't feel guilty for defending and loving ourselves, man

@EricK-nm2gg 5 ай бұрын

Exactly my same experience. They just pretend like I never happened and expect things to go back to normal after saying hurtful things. When caught, they just back down for that instance, never acknowledging what they did. I’ve stopped expecting apologies because expecting something that will never come eats away at my soul. I’m learning to accept them for what they are and my life has been getting better. I’m never going to let them take my energy away. So much for family, ugh. Soulless creatures.

@Alice-sw9hf Жыл бұрын

Never fight with them! They are parasites that thrive on your pain. Nothing will ever be resolved and you will just be more upset. Smile at them until you can dump them hard and never look back.

@colmmeade1824 9 ай бұрын

They are right n u are wrong

@teflmadeez2021 5 ай бұрын

I NEEDED TO HEAR THIS!!! Going through this and I'm so desperate to leave. Things are suddenly changing for me though and the changes are making it possible for me to see myself out

@Alice-sw9hf 5 ай бұрын

@@teflmadeez2021 Don't lose faith in yourself and stay quietly resolved until your chance comes to be free.

@renatatarnawski5974 4 ай бұрын

I did just that Went away And dumped them Long Distance Lost everything I owned But I'm Free

@anneneilsing 4 ай бұрын

@@renatatarnawski5974much love to you, you’ve got this I believe in you

@evelina787 2 жыл бұрын

“There is simply no winning with a narcissist. They will treat you so horribly, that you will become withdrawn and depressed, and then they will turn around, & say, ‘You’re no fun any more, you’re always so depressed. I need to be with someone more positive.’” - Susan Williams🙏

@RickDanner Жыл бұрын

Evelina yes 100% true . But I disagree with this video I knew a narc who lost control of me and could care less if I die never spoke to me again in over a year . Anyway you have the same hair as the absolute girl of my dreams , Agnetha Faltskog , she is very famous do you know who she is ?

@evelina787 Жыл бұрын

@@RickDanner Greetings Sorry to hear you went through so much hurt & upsetting experiences with this person :- Yes i've heard they do indeed, c@llously just disreg@rd,pure & simple :-No conscience these types 😔🍃🙏 But we must do everything we can to keep strong 💪 Fight back where necessry & clear our n@mes,where some have used sme@r c@mp@igns on us The professionl ones are the most vindictive bec@use they hold much power, hence can @buse it But a step @ time we must fight back God bless you Sincerely hope lifes treating you extremely kindly now Yes i know of the Abba Singer😇🙏, God bless you 👍🍃🙏 They were my dear Mum's very favourite pop group :-Especi@lly she loved "Dancing👑 Queen" 🎶 Take very good care of you 👍🍃🙏

@tammyblount3910 Жыл бұрын

OMG!!! I Just ended my relationship with a very frustrated, angry, and constant belittling narcissist who is Saying Those EXACT WORDS TO ME! As an Empath I Knew who he was. My Compassion wanted to believe he would make serious changes for the sake of love. But he’s too selfish and I have been hearing how he’s Trying his Hardest to get into counseling and get on bipolar meds. That was 2 Yrs. ago. So I walked away. He actually told me that I would Never find Anyone who would treat me better than Him. I explained that I already Have met actual Men who treated me better, and that if his idea of calling me horrible names and telling me he hates me is what He considers treating me good, then I wouldn’t want it.

@David.L291 Жыл бұрын

@@tammyblount3910 Omg what's with you ladies out here in the world, all the dogs get the girls but the good guys get left on the shelf lol, but stay safe though, It'd do my head in being with some crackpot

@lindaandrie99 Жыл бұрын

So true. Been there but recoverd.

@indiakxoxo Жыл бұрын

Dealing with narcissistic behavior is the worst for people who already struggle with mental health. Especially if it’s two main people in your life.

@MsStephanieJane31 2 жыл бұрын

The one thing narcissists rob from us; inner harmony

@jenamirgholi6004 Жыл бұрын

they can't take that i went to the school

@gabrielleg8794 Жыл бұрын

Inner joy is the goal narcissist set up to destroy.

@MsStephanieJane31 Жыл бұрын

@@gabrielleg8794 very true

@marknorris1381 Жыл бұрын

You have to take control of your own well being and not allow someone like this to do it. If you boss at work is one, get another job. If your work colleague is one, get another job. If your partner/spouse is one, find another partner/spouse (can be difficult to break free though), if your friend is one, they aren't really your friend and find another friend, if a close family member is one, call them once a year at Christmas. Put time into relationships that are two way.

@williamwatt305 Жыл бұрын

Amen

@sreamingonline6160 2 жыл бұрын

Narcissist 101! they don't apologize for anything!

@micalachula9410 Жыл бұрын

So true

@larrnew Жыл бұрын

Sometimes they will pull that trick!

@jodizellmer994 Жыл бұрын

The only thing they're sorry for is that they got caught. Then they try and make you look like the crazy one by gaslighting you.

@GoogleUser-pc6tu 3 ай бұрын

They’ll give you a faux apology, never taking true accountability and will continue to do the same disrespecting behavior

@vladimirprovotorov580 2 ай бұрын

Yes.

@jessicarios5415 11 ай бұрын

I told my narcissist to go ahead and "expose" me. I had made peace with myself and prepared to lose everything. I disconnected his buttons to my fear.

@deannelamirande432 3 ай бұрын

I have done the same.

@spbrendasp 2 ай бұрын

Me too. I mean it's a reflection on them as well. Double strike😂

@mth9267 Ай бұрын

The harder the accusations, which just accelerated, the more I learnt to relax because I knew my kids loved me and that was good enough

@spbrendasp Ай бұрын

Well did you lose everything

@clarkkent3730 6 күн бұрын

EXCELLENT

@johnswanson217 8 ай бұрын

I used to make all my romantic relationship into a hell in my 20s. Then I met a boss who is more narcissistic than me in my late 20s, and finally understood how horrible I was for my girlfriends. And I can tell you that the only thing a weak, childish, narcissist man want is an attention. Don't give it to him.

@HeismanDeleon 4 ай бұрын

Glad you were able to finally truly see yourself. Most never will.

@sleepystar1638 4 ай бұрын

Don’t we all want attention though?

@GoogleUser-pc6tu 3 ай бұрын

@@sleepystar1638 Not at the expense of another’s psychological health

@sleepystar1638 3 ай бұрын

@@GoogleUser-pc6tu semantics, all humans need attention, communion and friendship, otherwise your are literally only living for yourself which is the epitome of selfishness.

@luisprumbs3936 2 ай бұрын

Were you aware of what you were doing to them?

@dkpretorius Жыл бұрын

"...so take all that kindness and compassion that you have, and direct it towards yourself. This is where it's needed right now." This was a powerful part for me.

@CynthiaSchoenbauer Жыл бұрын

I loved this part the most too! I am really, really working on how. Caring for self is soooo hard for me.

@dkpretorius Жыл бұрын

@@CynthiaSchoenbauer yeah it's tough, especially when you're used to beating yourself up because you think you deserve nothing more

@LocAces Жыл бұрын

that line really hit me.

@dkpretorius Жыл бұрын

@@LocAces yeah, i really need to hear things like that to remind myself of my worth

@LocAces Жыл бұрын

@@dkpretorius I wish you all the best. Truly.

@meliatortilla4625 Жыл бұрын

The smear from abusers is hard to deal with. The abusers are terrified that their abuse will be known by others, so they will tell blatant lies, and turn the littlest things around to try and prove their lies to others. The most heart breaking part is when kids are involved

@evelina787 Жыл бұрын

You're 100 percent right👍👏🙏God bless you :-It's so upsetting how they can get away with so much:-trnishing our nmes, blackening our chrcters etc😔They must not be allowed to get away with it continuously It can take a while, for lies to be brought to light💡even following the nrcissist being exposed But we must not give up, & we must continue our fight for justice, one step @ time➕🕯️🕊️✨☘️🙏Ple@se don't give up

@taraarrington2285 Жыл бұрын

Yes

@jamesac9478 Жыл бұрын

Indeed....I was the kid 😵‍💫

@deannarounds3295 Жыл бұрын

I ran into a guy I had not seen in 15 years after I divorced my ex and I just said I do not know if you heard but R and I are divorced now and he gave me a really odd look and said Oh I heard all about it. R came up to see us and told us everything. Well something in me snapped and I said You know what? Everhy thing he says about me is true. Lying cheating whore that's me. This guy busted out laughing and said You must be very busy if it is all true - I coud not figure out how you had time to work and here you are. Broke the ice and it made me feel very free.

@AmmosB Жыл бұрын

Nice so...I guess because I went too deep...I'm the narcissistic one... deleted my post of how I'm worried about the future now she has what wants...rather than help just delete it thanks. Yes you right matey kids should always be priority

@gregor8619 11 ай бұрын

"it's because you have empathy and you care about that person, so take all the kindness and compassion that you have and direct it towards yourself, that is where it's needed right now" 😍 This is good and so healing ! Thank you so much for this video!

@springerworks002 6 ай бұрын

I like this idea, I'm going to try to figure out how to read myself and do good things for me.

@Butterflyyyy9 5 ай бұрын

I agree ❤

@GoogleUser-pc6tu 3 ай бұрын

@@springerworks002”It’s not you” by Dr Ramini is a great healing book

@eugeneferguson5987 11 ай бұрын

Towards the end of the marriage, my wife did some truly toxic and disrespectful things to me. When I confronted her on these behaviors, she simply replied "That just shows you where our relationship is right now". That moment instantly killed any love I had left for her.

@Schnitzer325ci 9 ай бұрын

Oof

@norawalsh6980 5 ай бұрын

Sorry to hear you lived something like that. I kinda feel like the men feel lonely on these situations because women are better at this narcissistic game but it's like society thinks men are the nercissists when usually it's the other way.

@viciousLUA 3 ай бұрын

I mean… where did her disrespect come from? I’m sure it didn’t come out of nowhere.

@evelina787 Жыл бұрын

“Narcissistic love is riding on the rollercoaster of disaster filled with a heart full of tears.” - Sheree Griffin

@evelina787 Жыл бұрын

@EXPOSED. Algerian satanic narcissist. Bilal lakama God bless you 😔🍀🙏So extremely true Hope lifes treating you extremely kindly now

@jellybean6778 Жыл бұрын

Funny you use the term rollercoaster. Exactly what it was.

@tammyblount3910 Жыл бұрын

You deserve to be cherished and loved for the kindness you show. May God bring Many Positive and Beautiful people your way. The company we choose can make us or try to break us. I have PTSD as a result of so much trauma from very toxic people who took my love for granted and took advantage of my kindness on some extreme levels. Have almost been Murdered by 1 X who took his life in my home. That was 15 years ago. I still have my moments of depression and anxiety. But I am doing things to help heal through it all. ❤️🙏❤️

@evelina787 Жыл бұрын

@@tammyblount3910 God bless you 🙏You've been through so much Pr@ise God, you live to tell the tale plus inspire others & give them hope & courage👍💪 it isn't simple is it, the healing process i could really kick myself for not recognising God trying to mke me aware of danger, through myLovedOnes, i simply thought they were worrying too much&tht no one could possibly be so cruel's to do the things i ws being forewarned of but extremely sdly, myLovedOnes were right & nowbit's taking a long time to clear the dmge, hurt, upset c@used by the nrcissist & their flying Monkeys, sme@r c@mp@ign etc naivety can create so much trouble & problems for us but a day @ time, we must not give up we must keep taking the steps, little by little & fighting for justice Ple@se keep strong & motivted💪🕊️✌️🙏

@jessicadaianacardona8173 Жыл бұрын

That's what my life became. I am out of that unhealthy relationship and seeing comments like this gives me hope that I will heal from the emotional abuse I went through

@ThePortalTheory Жыл бұрын

The narcissistic that gave birth to me , stopped speaking to me when I put boundaries up. So hurtful. She's never apologized once my entire life. ❤️ to everyone going through the same hurt.

@aprilmorrison9627 Жыл бұрын

My heart knows that pain! My dad was a Narcissist. And during my worst years with him...I found a scripture in the bible that I never forgot it. It said, "Though your Mother and Father abandon you, I will NOT forget you! See, I have engraved your name upon the palms of my hands..." (my paraphrase.) It meant so much to me, that GOD never forgot me. And 40 years later I can say he never has....He knows our suffering dear-heart. You are precious in His sight. xoxo

@johnscott6412 Жыл бұрын

Mine died a lonely woman but hey I married one , I was groomed to think it was normal

@jameshersom2536 Жыл бұрын

My mom said the same insult like 5 different ways and I didn’t respond and she said I’m sorry, still I gave no response.

@lindakhounthy Жыл бұрын

🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

@heathergibson3590 Жыл бұрын

I feel pity for your Mom.She missed out on her own child.God Bless You and keep your faith

@mrdavisdance 11 ай бұрын

I had an extremely narcissistic ex that told people I beat her. Her own mother called me to tell me that she was spreading lies about me. Her story changed from "he gave me a black eye and bloody lip" to "he attacked me but I overpowered him before he could actually hurt me", because her mother pointed out that she saw her every day throughout our relationship and she never saw any black eyes or hurt lips. I'm a 6'4, 200 pound man and she was about half my size. Her own mother calling her out didn't stop her from calling my workplace and telling our bartender that I beat her. I was chased out of a job for that. It's been almost a year and that still messes with me

@rabbit9979 8 ай бұрын

My mother called the police and told them I have beaten her !!!

@blahbee7223 7 күн бұрын

@@rabbit9979 well someone did

@ohpohp481 Жыл бұрын

So true. When I'm having a disagreement with my narc woman and I raise my voice very slightly, I'm accused of "screaming" at her. Then she goes and tells others how I'm always screaming at her. Narcissism is a mental illness.

@Razr2027 9 ай бұрын

I deal with the exact same thing. If my voice raises even slightly, and I have a very strong voice normally, I immediately get yelled at by my wife telling me to "stop screaming at her." It drives me up the wall.

@Schnitzer325ci 9 ай бұрын

💯

@lisadobz1320 9 ай бұрын

Sounds familiar!!! 😔

@kennethjorgensen6624 7 ай бұрын

The gaslighting is truly phenomenal.

@hellonwheelz3317 6 ай бұрын

Yep

@mariasophialopez9249 10 ай бұрын

My best advice is to stay away from every person who is abusive. Most abusers lack empathy therefore they're narcissists. Plain and simple.

@cherobinson6371 9 ай бұрын

Bullies are 100% Narcissistic avoid bullies

@mariasophialopez9249 9 ай бұрын

@@cherobinson6371 Amen.

@roberttruman8444 9 ай бұрын

Bullies are people who have been bullied, and abusers are people who have been abused. Not all narcissists are bullies. Abusers and bullies can be narcissists but they can also be neurotypical healthy and secure, believe it or not. Bullying and abuse can be visibly horrific and psychotic, or it can be non-physical and passive, so much so that it goes unnoticed. Anybody could potentially be a bully or an abuser at some point in their life whether they are at the lighter end where they don’t even realise what they’re doing, or they’re Adolph Bloody Hitler. These are learnt behaviours and they’re not chronic conditions. Those bullies and abusers that aren’t affected by personality disorders are perfectly capable of reflection and atonement, and they can change. Any act of bullying or abuse from these people is indefensible, and a reflection of their current unhappy and weakened state. FYI they only abuse the people who allow it, with the exception of children and vulnerable people. It’s nobody’s job to teach them how to behave in civilised society, but we all have a responsibility to ourselves and need to do everything we can to recognise and stop any abusive treatment we receive as soon as possible. I don’t say this to victim blame, but experience has taught me time and time again that if someone attempts to abuse us then we have to act the first time. There will never be an easier time to confront the abuser and they are most likely to respond positively at the very start. Easier said than done though. Narcissism is a completely different thing altogether, and while it can show up in the form of abuse and bullying, there is no exclusive link between the personality disorder and abusers/bullies so it’s not wise to brand any old person a narcissist and doing so would seriously misrepresent the 1% of humans that are narcissistic and would dismiss whatever circumstances may exist around bullies and abusers and would hinder any resolution.

@Myopiniononly 9 ай бұрын

Low self esteem one person the other person is a controller every one has issues so sad but funny

@berndhoecke8493 6 ай бұрын

What you describe is more of a psychopath. So no it's not that plain and simple. Those get confused a lot.

@rwdchannel2901 2 жыл бұрын

If you confront the narcissist don't expect anything but narcissistic behavior. They'll just invalidate whatever you say as narcissist do.

@keelerhastings7109 11 ай бұрын

Speaking of an apology , they will start the problem or argument , but they will stay angry with you until you , apologize to them

@volpeverde6441 10 ай бұрын

they will drop you in all kinds of shit.... then say....'why are you doing this to me....?'

@keelerhastings7109 10 ай бұрын

@@volpeverde6441 They are the victim when truth shows up 100 percent , or they'll say ... why didn't you tell me ? then I could have done this, or that, so it's still your fault !

@volpeverde6441 10 ай бұрын

@keelerhastings7109 my teenage kids used to have to come shopping with us in the 90's....because their mother would say something....then later say....'I NEVER said that/I can't remember....' etc.... always gaslighting....fucking insane.... she'd say....' I saw your aunty (NAME) last Tuesday....' I would say to my aunty in conversation.... 'Oh ....you saw my missus last Tuesday....' looking puzzled....my aunty would she that she HADN'T SEEN my missus for over a year.... I told my missus she'd lied to me....but she used to do this demented chuckle and say.... 'I tell you what you want to hear....' to start another argument.... she would FEED us ALL - WRONG INFORMATION all the time, tell all the kids and me something different to confuse us and get us against each other....

@proudamerican2133 3 ай бұрын

Yup, my son did exactly that. Had the fit of rage, turned everything, projected, onto me the usual scapegoat, then tried yo justify it with a list of grievances and then he and h8s flying monkey and fellow narc father went on the smear campaign. My son in law was the first to notice their abusive ways towards my daughter and I, he opened our eyes and is happy we are away from them now. We are so much more at peace. Now my son and ex go around and tell everyone we cut him off, and we were the problems. God help my daughter in law. They have her head so full of crap she has no idea what is true and real and what isn't.

@taylorannruiz4972 6 ай бұрын

crazy how much a narcissist doesnt care about you and take advantage of how much you care about them

@ursinegrubby916 Жыл бұрын

Been all the way through that cycle years ago. Just remember if things seem off or don't add up it's because they are and they don't. Good people make an effort to make you feel comfortable. If you ever find yourself researching strange behaviors on the internet, it's a sign that you should have left the relationship already and you are wasting your time on someone who doesn't deserve your conscientiousness and care.

@juliepadilla7852 Жыл бұрын

A little off to say the least! 😕

@ItisWritten793 10 ай бұрын

Perfectly spoken

@Ramon-gg3bd 5 ай бұрын

Stay in touch with your feelings. Don't do things that make you feel bad, guilty, uncomfortable or anything negative just to please anyone else.

@mjc21706 3 ай бұрын

Couldn’t have said it better myself!!!

@guerrillasneeded 7 ай бұрын

I’ve been married to a narcissist wife for a year now and it has become overbearing. We have one child together and she doesn’t even have time for him. I couldn’t understand why until I started researching narcissism more. She has checked all the boxes and now I know why this whole relationship is going downhill. Thanks for the video and wish me luck.

@bubusik8671 7 ай бұрын

Good luck! I hope you do whatever's best for you. I just broke up with my boyfriend who checked most of the boxes, accused me that I'm a narcissist and a manipulator too. Fun times.. The worst thing about them is how nice and sweet they are all the time until they show their true colors. Truly heartbreaking.

@user-sw4om6cg6o 7 ай бұрын

@@bubusik8671 So true! Not only do you end up grieving for the relationship, you also grieve for person who was never real.

@bubusik8671 7 ай бұрын

@@user-sw4om6cg6o yeah... and they're extremely mad at you for ending things, more false accusations arrive. It's like they always seek for something that has never even been there, and it's just so disturbing to even aknowledge they actually mean everything they say. Why would anyone purposely offend and mentally harm the person they loved? Does he think I had it easy ending things with him?.. Really?

@TheFaithfulAtheist 7 ай бұрын

Get recordings. You'll need them for the divorce and family court.

@AOPALINSKI 6 ай бұрын

Good luck 🍀

@realityjusthappens 10 ай бұрын

they mainly can be irresponsible, un-co-operative and exhausting.

@lankankeys8310 9 ай бұрын

Best thing to do is keep yourself occupied with hobbies or people or something you love. Your focus on that over time, will make you realize there is alot more to life than giving them energy.

@nickf9392 2 жыл бұрын

The number one thing they will do is discard you. Once you treat them like they treated you, wow its all over. So if you want out, just do that. Ignore them, minimize them, put them down....it wont take much, they absolutely can't take that.

@sunusiabdullahi6889 2 жыл бұрын

I'm so happy having my former partner back , after being separated for months . All thanks to Mr Ehijator whom help me to get back my ex again , I will suggest y'all to get help from him and it works within 48hours...My husband behaved strangely again and then they let me go, so I decided to go, and then I found a doctor on the internet, everything was explained and he helped me get my husband back with his powers in just 12 hours, and my husband came back and told the children about others. Also, if you have a problem,.

@sunusiabdullahi6889 2 жыл бұрын

WatzaP

@qq84 Жыл бұрын

You don't even have to and shouldn't go down in the dirt to do the same to them. It's totally sufficient to get a "no bs attitude", just don't take any nagging or similar from them and give them the silent treatment, when they nag you. They absolutely can't take that.

@MAM-zw5xv Жыл бұрын

It can be dangerous to minimize them.

@qq84 Жыл бұрын

@@MAM-zw5xv Of course, you have to plan your actions but it's still the best thing to do.

@fernandodesousa9362 11 ай бұрын

I’m currently separated from my wife of 12 years for about a year now and I got full custody of our 7 year old son. Everything you mentioned in this video I went trough 100% one day I woke up, and I just realized that she would never change so I left. It was just exhausting to feel like I had to walk on eggshells the entire time I have one life to live, and I feel like I was wasting my time with the wrong person

@Ballen1182 11 ай бұрын

Glad you got custody 👌

@ahocme 10 ай бұрын

How were you able to walk out of the relationship?

@fernandodesousa9362 10 ай бұрын

I’ve a bought a nice new lifted truck and my ex-wife had a burst of anger and scratched my truck causing 4K in damages. After this things weren’t the same anymore I knew I was not going to get over it

@MochaZilla 10 ай бұрын

@fernandodesousa9362 damn well glad you got out man. Them narc bimbos are something else

@jesssegovia1135 10 ай бұрын

🤯...... as cliché as it's gonna sound, I didn't think there was anyone who knew exactly what im going thru currently, almost wrd for wrd!

@TheIronwil Ай бұрын

100% correct about the reaction. They want the fight. They NEED the emotional reaction. They thrive on creating instability in those they control. Keep them weak. Undermine their self-confidence. And when that doesn’t work, they unsettle them with wild accusations and ridiculous provocations.

@crystalpyramids9699 4 ай бұрын

Man you all this stuff is no joke. Thank you for this video. 6 months with a narcissist. Every literal thing you said hit hard ASF. Shit takes a toll on your health BIG time. If your in one of these dynamics leaves immediately, you cannot afford to stay. Your health, mind and finance's can't afford what it's doing to your state of being it's absolute abuse on all levels and A narcissist vibration and frequency is very low, so it's like half the time they're getting body snatched by a lower Force or energy and they don't even realize what they've even done when they snap back. It's like they don't even remember or they didn't even do it or you're crazy for even saying they did! I truly do believe narcissistic personality disorder is not only a mental illness but leads open door to demonic possession

@4236dao 3 ай бұрын

Omg I accused my gf of being evil before because of this behavior

@raznabegum5847 3 ай бұрын

Yea it is demonic possession, sometimes children can also pick shitty characters from parents but they don’t feel good what they do or how they conducted themselves (takes accountability) wer as a full on piece of shit of narc enjoys on how much they can get away with Miss conduct & that power & control they possess on people. My ex partner when he walks in the room the internet plays up, or my children will be stimming & self harming. I’d also feel tightness on my throat. After years of all sorts of abuse we got rid of him, my babies r at peace, my internet or my lights don’t flicker. We all sleep through out the night. And I look 10 years younger.

@JustinRabJDog 3 ай бұрын

Wow, crazy stuff

@petermautner1644 Жыл бұрын

If one is single and not married , a bit of advice. If you meet one knowing by their character traits. Go no contact. End it immediately.

@KawaiChan. 10 ай бұрын

Many will threaten physical violence if verbal threats don’t work and are usually unafraid to back up their threats of violence

@TroysHIITsprints 11 ай бұрын

I didnt give my narcissistic mother a chance I went no contact , not only with her but whole family unfortunately. Just remember they will manipulate those around them to get at you , so there control is absolute.

@Lonewolf-UP_Acts2.38 2 ай бұрын

I went through the same tactics with a 9@y coworker. The clown tried to get me fired on several occasions and accused me of things I had no involvement in and use other coworkers against me. I discarded him after the first day working around him and the people in there that took his side. They finally fired him since he caused too much confusion.

@TroysHIITsprints 2 ай бұрын

@@Lonewolf-UP_Acts2.38 it’s good that us folk that have some self dignity can spot the troll beneath the bridge. Many others are not so lucky.

@bunnyboonot4u 9 ай бұрын

Stay emotionally distant from narcissits!! Omygoooodness I'm learning so much! Ugh. I don't show her any emotion or attention. I didn't fight back. I completely ignore her and we live under the same roof. Very stressful!! 😱😱😱

@oscarbravo8585 Жыл бұрын

Love bombing Devaluation Discard Hoover (Repeat as necessary).. That's the vicious cycle when dealing with a narc....the only revenge you can do to protect yourself....no contact....walk away ...focus on healing...and bettering yourself...

@spedteacher2773 Жыл бұрын

Yeppppp! Jackpot!

@northernsegageorge6510 2 жыл бұрын

I just recently finished with a very messed up girlfriend. The non stop mood swings, the abusive comments, back handed comments, pulling away then blaming me for not being there for her, the pathological lying, the blame shifting, the defensiveness over asking her anything. One thing that struck me was how she would mirror me. She started saying words how I do, when we first met she never liked Eminem and suddenly that is all she listened to. If I did'nt drop everything last minute to go see her i was accused of seeing other girls. Never asked me about my day or my life in general. Got a new job and had zero congratulations and wasn't even asked how my first few days went. EVERYTHING was about her. Ohhh her dramas, ohh her childhood and how awful it was, how everybody leaves her, how life was so unfair, how all her ex boyfriends were narcissist and she even called me a narc for breaking up with her. Found out she has a history of self harm and eating disorders. Within 48hrs of breaking up she was suddenly pregnant and by magic fell down the stairs a week later and lost it. This is just the tip of the iceberg of how she behaved. All this happened within a few short months and i ran for the hills. Blocked her everywhere. I deserve so much better. Thank you for these amazing videos and help. There is zero wonder as to why her ex who is also the father of her kids left her. He escaped! Worse part of it all, she is oblivious to how she gets on and she blames everybody for her own problems in life. There is zero accountability at all. It is terrifying that people like this exist and they wonder why people run from them.

@davidiscool3326 2 жыл бұрын

"the pathological lying, the blame shifting, the defensiveness over asking her anything" These people live in a delusional reality. They make stuff up in their minds, and then believe it as truth. They are so disconnected from objective reality, they live in a self generated fantasy. How dare anyone question what they believe as truth (sarcasm)!

@radaka 2 жыл бұрын

You're spot on! I've been going through all that for several years with someone and had no idea what or who he was or what was even happening to me until I was stuck in it and screwed up in the head because of it. Found out I had cancer and got home from my appointment just to go to emergency room with him for pink eye and then listened to him bitch and whine all evening because his eye was bothering him! Then he started a fight, AGAIN, and left. Same night! That was tonight!! That was even lower than I even thought he would go. But I obviously gave that POS more credit than he was worth.

@tbolton6156 2 жыл бұрын

I could have wrote verbatim, everything you mentioned. In fact, did we dated, the same girl,? They are agents of choas. Once you come out of the "fog", they have no more power of you. Peace!

@Foxtrap731 2 жыл бұрын

That sounds very similar to what I went through with a narc. Wow, they are weird people that have an amazing ability to mess with your mind.

@judygutshall7282 2 жыл бұрын

She does this because she truly believes that her problems are everyone else's fault. She does nothing wrong. Even tho she admits that all these guys left her, she doesn't see why. That many guys leaving her tells the story.please stay away from her.. She will never change. She will never apologize either cause she is never wrong. And the lies..OMG. I found a pair of sunglasses in my husbands glove compartment that had bling on sides and on front. When I showed them to my husband ( you won't believe this) he said they were HIS !!!!! Never blinked an eye. Lied, even tho it was so obvious they were for girls. And nothing girly about him. 6'2 , 200 lbs, truck driver..hunter..biker. And he thought that I would believe they were his??? This is how bad Narcissist can be. Stay away

@TheRealLarissa 5 ай бұрын

The faux-pology is horrible. I got the "I'm sorry IF I hurt you."

@Javs7_7_7 6 ай бұрын

I had an experience with a narcissist when her story changed all the time when I caught her lying and then would say “ I never said that!” trying to make me to believe her stories as she would change them in real time. It’s scary with these kind of evil.

@bucolic_frolic1284 Жыл бұрын

This video is gold. "Don't fight ... don't give it to them." Incredibly packed with wisdom and sounds like it's drawn from experience. Gold, I tells ya, gold!

@heathergibson3590 Жыл бұрын

Holler!!

@pensuper3362 Жыл бұрын

My father is a really really bad narcissist. He does a lot of these things. It's hard separating from a parent in particular bc they have a lot of psychical control over you. My sister abandoned all of her belongings to move away and life a better life. I hope to be as strong as her one day.

@qq84 Жыл бұрын

Do it, go no contact.

@VikingSpirit942 11 ай бұрын

I fell for the fauxpology (I also had a young child whose parent had left us with no notice and was missing his daddy) so let daddy back in, knowing inside it did not feel right. What followed was 4 weeks of best behaviour and then it aaall returned and was even more vindictive and controlling. Took me another 5 years to get him out of my life. It was scary, psychologically weird, full of smear campaigns with my direct family who became convinced he was a poor victim of my horrible ways and I had to go silent, do lots of research and be very strategic. Don’t fall for the fauxpology!! Believe in yourself.

@dominiquelewis3467 8 ай бұрын

After I didn't let my narcissistic ex back in he told our children it's my fault I don't want the family together cause I wknt take him back. He did lie on me. He never stopped trying to get back together.

@HungryH1951 9 ай бұрын

If you are a good person and in need of friends that is the type of person the narcissist is looking for to abuse and manipulate. Some people in need of friends will be vulnerable to love bombing (which is insincere love) and subject to abusive manipulation. I am sort of like that and I want to believe that this person has a genuine interest in me as a friend but I have learned over many instances (I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt) that their love overtures are not always sincere and many of these types will abuse and manipulate you if you let them. I read a statement that said "nobody can ever manipulate you without your consent." I believe that is true, but it requires that we be honest with ourselves to identify manipulation and avoid it in every possible way in order to keep our sanity and self respect. It is not easy if we have somebody we care about, value and sometimes like , but do not want to admit to ourselves that they are manipulating us in bad ways. But we must admit to it in order to deal with it effectively and free ourselves of abusive behavior by a supposed friend. Otherwise it will just go on and on indefinitely being abused. They will not stop on their own. It is never a pleasant experience and at times requires letting go of shallow, manipulative 'friends'. A sad part of life but liberating once you get rid of the destructive manipulation that keeps you down. There are real friends in this world that will not treat you this way. We just need to find them. Let the narcissists take a walk out of your life.

@GingerNinja1 2 жыл бұрын

I'm glad others are receiving this information, but unfortunately most end up here after the fact. I wish I had it years ago & am still learning everyday. The red flags become easier to spot not just for those looking for potential loves interests, but with new friendships as well. A narcissist bestriend can do just as much damage to you as your loved one.

@alexismerrilldragonqueen6552 2 жыл бұрын

My ex bff was a covert narcissist and let me tell you I didn't even know she was for the longest time until I set a boundary, and then I immediately went to the devalue stage and discard stage. Best thing that ever happened to me!

@sunset9729 2 жыл бұрын

Never again though.

@mojadah10 2 жыл бұрын

So true. My intuition told me something was off. I didn’t KNOW until nearly 15 years later. Better late than never.

@alexismerrilldragonqueen6552 2 жыл бұрын

@@mojadah10 YES! Your intuition is #1 when dealing with narcs. I literally felt a sharp shock when I went to hug her right before the discard. She was already planning on how she was going to discard me, even while I had no idea about it. I'll never disregard my intuition again.

@jaydixson1731 2 жыл бұрын

My best friend was triangulating my wife. I had to dump my best friend of 30 years.

@IvnValmont 2 жыл бұрын

The "no-one is perfect" card is gold. Especially when they pull it every time they make a mistake. As if their humanity should be held accountable.

@davidiscool3326 2 жыл бұрын

OMG what is the big deal in admitting you made a mistake? This is why society is so messed up. We learn, improve and grow by SEEKING OUT were we erred and then resolving to learn from it and to not repeat the same error. Also, sincerity, humility, desire for self-improvement, striving to be kind to others, all fell to the wayside along with tossing out the concept of God and accountability for our actions.

@sunusiabdullahi6889 2 жыл бұрын

@@davidiscool3326 I'm so happy having my former partner back , after being separated for months . All thanks to Mr Ehijator whom help me to get back my ex again , I will suggest y'all to get help from him and it works within 48hours...My husband behaved strangely again and then they let me go, so I decided to go, and then I found a doctor on the internet, everything was explained and he helped me get my husband back with his powers in just 12 hours, and my husband came back and told the children about others. Also, if you have a problem,.

@sunusiabdullahi6889 2 жыл бұрын

@@davidiscool3326 WatzaP

@calvinfinney5083 11 ай бұрын

The difficult part for me is understanding if they have narcissistic traits but not necessarily NPD. If a person who has genuinely had a lot of life challenges and stresses then brings it home, behaves poorly and in a controlling manner, gets called out, realizes that they need to change, how can you tell if the change is real? Meaning how do you know if they are working to address their behavior, not realizing that it was having a negative impact on you vs. the narcissistic hoovering of a person with NPD.

@inamadw 24 күн бұрын

@@davidiscool3326 This about sums it up. People are in a daydream of negativity and self hate. When you put the hard work in and break out and become positive; Instead of doing the same they will look at you and hate you for it. They wonder why they can't do it. God knows. You act positively towards them and they won't even believe it. They will just use it against you. My mistake was thinking I could help these people. Only God can, like he helped me.

@Zorg1776 10 ай бұрын

The hoover stage has gotten me more than once. It was wonderful while it lasted. But after noticing a pattern i would get an uneasy feeling a few days in.. like something bad was going to happen, and BOOM the discard. Like clockwork. There was never a good reason. It was always just ugly and seemingly evil. Traumatizing for a guy that didn't understand and was truly in love.

@inamadw 24 күн бұрын

This bro. She pops up in my line of sight at work. Stands there waiting for me to talk to her. I do and I think things are going well, and then the next day its avoiding eye contact and cold shoulder. So I move on and she throws these little fits, when I won't look her way or talk to her. She's always watching me now. The shit is fucking scary. And when you figure them out they band together to try to change the perception of everyone around you. They can't even look you in the eye once you know. They just watch you like voided puppets. And when you look at them they pretend they weren't and go back to work. Just looking at them is enough to satisfy them. I'M LOOKING AT YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE STARING AT ME AND IT'S FUCKING EERIE.

@ElderGothWitch 7 ай бұрын

Man, where was this video 9 years ago. 😅. I could have used this advice when I was going through a custody battle back then. I am a narcissist abuse survivor and it's taken YEARS to finally heal and break from his control completely. I did lose custody of my son to him and I even got remarried to a wonderful man....but the mental and emotional abuse dealt a hard and lasting blow. I'm still dealing with some issues, but this video helped me realize just how much I've healed because I have seen everything you mentioned here. The best is.... I'm not scared anymore and can look him in the eye when I have to face him now too. I can smile and be comfortable in my own skin and maybe I'm a little petty about it because it gives me so much satisfaction knowing he also knows he no longer has power over me 😊

@iamgoddessoflove 2 жыл бұрын

One way to know that you're dealing with a narcissist is when they take, and take, leaving you feeling depleted. Whereas, you'll receive less, and less or nothing in return. 💙KZfaqr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

@radaka 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks! I subscribed

@pinkrainbow1 2 жыл бұрын

I have learned to look for the signs in advance. The moment I see a red flag in someone who is constantly looking to provoke me, who cannot take ownership of their own behavior and acts out manipulatively on a regular basis, I immediately shut them down, close the door and kick them out of my life. We can't prevent these people from showing up.. however we CAN educate ourselves and the moment we see the signs the door must be closed on them swiftly.

@blydnhvghn 9 ай бұрын

It is SO difficult to stay brave in the face of a threat but tbh they are usually bluffing. Pathetic creatures! Stay strong, folks.

@mpravica 16 күн бұрын

I don't remember my narcissist dad apologizing for anything ever.

@stacelock8081 Жыл бұрын

#5 and #6 are happening for me right now. He's isolated me from our mutual friends.. they truly believe he's the victim. I'm being painted as a crazy woman and trouble maker He says in texts "no need to be aggressive" when I'm trying to have a calm conversation and uses the word abusive when I'm definitely not being abusive at all. It's all baiting and his attempts to make me react. Stay calm and don't react!

@Mamma_Kel Жыл бұрын

Mine likes to say out loud as If for an audience, “If you can’t be civil I won’t be able to talk to you!” As if he has any clue what civil even looks like and it always catches me off guard because it has absolutely nothing to do with what we were even talking about.

@stacelock8081 Жыл бұрын

@@Mamma_Kel oooh how infuriating and confusing at the same time!! I feel for you x It's toxic and hard to stay positive when dealing with such a narcissist person. Chin up and all the best

@JoniPreston55 11 ай бұрын

@@Mamma_Kelmaking you look nuts…

@TheBasspro20 Жыл бұрын

My wife is a narcissist and this helped me understand what I'm dealing with more and more. Sometimes i feel trapped.

@priscillajimenez27 Жыл бұрын

Are you guys gonna go through therapy? Does she wanna work things out? Can her family and friends and you do an intervention to address it?

@madalenatavares5731 Жыл бұрын

If you don't have kids leave

@cynthiafortier2540 Жыл бұрын

They get worse, I hope you can safely escape.

@col2959 Жыл бұрын

Goodluck with that. Their DEMONIC

@TheBasspro20 Жыл бұрын

The worst part of it all and what made me decide to leave is when we cuddled before going to sleep, 2 hours later woke up in the middle of the night, had sex, and the next morning she claimed it wasn't consensual. I can never trust her again. She manipulates me and uses the kids against me to get me to apologize. Been married 5 years. I don't deserve any of this and it's an awful feeling inside.

@inzichte 10 ай бұрын

They don't say sorry. And they don't want to change.

@dianeoliveira6780 11 ай бұрын

Dang! I'm on #7 and still ignoringing him. It works quite well. Took 11 years, 😮 but hey... I finally am feeling stronger. Threats, yes, I had to get a restraining order, but calling 911 definitely showed him I was serious! 🎉 Helps to have close friends who believe you and have your back, so do not isolate,that only allows him/her back in. God bless us all!❤

@user-ns3kx7wt8k 2 жыл бұрын

My narcissistic brother tried to reach out. When I didn't respond, he became angry and engaged in telling people that he's worried about me. He has engaged in slander. If you aren't there to defend yourself, you are an easy target. I'm shocked at how many people soak up slander and spread it.

@wavecycle494 2 жыл бұрын

I too am shocked at how many people soak up slander and spread it. It's a huge problem in the U.S.

@neena9202 2 жыл бұрын

I have found that because they are so bold about it and have no remorse for lying, people just automatically assume it's true. Unless they are able to be close to the narc for a longer period of time, they may never catch on, but ppl close to them do. And I've also noticed that the actual victim tends to stay quiet and isolated more, and doesn't speak up as much as the narc, so other people just kind of paint them any way they want-but In the same way, if they spent a lot of time with the victim, they would see that the lies aren't true

@Scott-nr2ji Жыл бұрын

@@neena9202 If that's all it takes for someone to turn against me is someone else's slander without asking me my side of the story, the trash can go ahead and take itself out!

@dennispacelli1007 Жыл бұрын

@@neena9202 Brilliant! Nicely said....

@judygutshall7282 Жыл бұрын

My 40 year old son said to my: WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF YOU IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

@dorrisdale6269 2 жыл бұрын

My first husband told me one time when he came over to pick up his children for visitation, "It's not fair; you are doing too good without me". I still feel what he did to me even though he has been dead for over 30 years.

@judygutshall7282 2 жыл бұрын

It can last a lifetime because you can't understand how he could do those awful things to you?? Because yo never knew someone could be so cruel and punishing?

@alyssawoodman Жыл бұрын

You are finally FREE!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!

@judygutshall7282 Жыл бұрын

30 years is nothing...my 20 year old son committed suicide 33 years ago but to me it happened last week. Such trauma that you and I went thru never will go away. On top of my son passing, I lived with a narcissist for 35 years. Double whammy. But out 6 months now and I surprise myself at how happy I am. Peace

@mjohnson3334 Жыл бұрын

When I asked my narc ex_husband for my divorce he looked at me straight in the eyes and told me: "Don't you know to keep your friends close and your enemies closer?" That's when I knew I was doing the right thing.

@merrycolin5646 Жыл бұрын

The ONLY escape for me after 40 years will be with MY death which you just confirmed. Whether through adult sons and grandkids or old friends he will NEVER be out of my circle. Wish I knew about narcissism long before a few years ago.

@RolandAxforde 7 ай бұрын

Narcissists are like television sets. They have buttons that you could push to get varying levels of entertainment! They are my favourite toys. 😁

@samscarletta7433 26 күн бұрын

I would rather have root canal then deal with those empty vessels.

@RolandAxforde 20 күн бұрын

@@samscarletta7433 It's not so bad. Once you learn how to get a reaction of those mentally disabled creatures, they become very fun to play with.

@SaylerT 8 ай бұрын

I experienced damn near all of this recently. We're all self-centered to an extent. Whether we look in the mirror or not is the line.

@QuinnPrice Жыл бұрын

So accurate. Run don't walk from high-control people. 1. False apology "I'm sorry you feel I did something wrong." 2. Hoover. Best behavior. Recruitment. Stronger manipulation. 3. Chance encounter. More manipulation. 4. Emotional blackmail. Play the victim, play on your empathy. 5. False accusations. 6. Flying monkey smear campaign 7. Threats.

@sylviaparker9010 Жыл бұрын

Spot on, but my narcissistic relative has never apologised as they think they have nothing to apologise for ie they are never wrong...

@shinebritechosen Жыл бұрын

Since I have been alone and with God. He no longer has any power over me. I have been alone for so many years in my marriage that it doesn't phase me anymore. He tried to tell me his friends and family are mine but they never call hangout with me. So truth wins out everytime to his lies and gaslighting. God's with me everyday, never stabs me in the back or tell my secrets. I'm good.

@lilliathmo-alaali 11 ай бұрын

I never got a sorry🤣

@tauer1231 10 ай бұрын

They hate strength in you. They are manipulating people

@evelina787 2 жыл бұрын

“Invalidation is about dismissing your experiences, thoughts and above all your emotions. Indeed the intention is to not even allow you to have those thoughts, experiences and emotions. It’s a way of invading your head and reprogramming it. It’s psychological abuse (messing with your thoughts) and emotional abuse (messing with your feelings).” - Danu Morrigan

@franksimmons9242 2 жыл бұрын

Good quote. Accurate.

@franksimmons9242 Жыл бұрын

It literally reminds me of the alien movies where they take over people's bodies.

@evelina787 Жыл бұрын

@@franksimmons9242 Yes, this is an accurate way of describing it I don't understnd why they need so much control 😔🍀🙏

@priscillajimenez27 Жыл бұрын

Literally my second "boyfriend" when I was 24 and he was 35. We were seeing each other for 18 months and he took advantage of being the kid of my pastors.

@evelina787 Жыл бұрын

@@priscillajimenez27Sorry you experienced this:-Hope life's being extremely good to you these dys✨☘️🙏

@sylviaelizabethclarecholic2073 6 ай бұрын

Hello all ❤️ When a narcissist attacks I do my best to show no reaction... THEN...I double and triple up my self care. For example planning to care for my face/nails/skin/clothes/next favorite meal, etc. Until the powerful, energetic focus IS ON ME! Of course, I NEVER mention this to the narcissist. I enjoy in silence! 😁🎉💯

@Ramon-gg3bd 5 ай бұрын

Very good idea, thank you

@jessmarie8040 4 ай бұрын

Good lord! I hated that everyone calls everyone a narcissist until I experienced it myself. Still going through it and trying to get out of it

@nicolili999 Жыл бұрын

This is exactly how my divorce played out… thank you for this video. I’ve been struggling a lot with resentment and anger towards my ex for all the ways he played me and then proceeded to run a smear campaign against me. Sometimes watching videos like these and hearing someone else calmly and logically describe all of this just reminds me again that this is just wrong and childish. I can’t change what happened… but I am so glad it did. As it turned out, I dodged a major bullet and I am glad we didn’t have kids together. Sending love and prayers to anyone else going through relationships like these. It’s truly exhausting and I’ve had to work very hard at building up my self esteem again. Covert narcissists are dangerous.

@tatiananaugolnykh Жыл бұрын

WISH I WAS INFORMED YEARS AGO WHEN I WAS A CHILD ! It is hard to find even genuine friends in the modern world !

@rram992 11 ай бұрын

What I enjoy most about these is that there is nothing having to do with “him” or “her”. It’s all very neutral!

@joshuasmith3249 10 ай бұрын

I cannot begin to express my gratitude for this video. My mother has done every last one of these things since I was a teen.

@MsMaverika 10 ай бұрын

I feel very bad for you. I hope you read a lot and gain a strong understanding of why and how she did this. And don’t take on any of the blame she made you feel. Best of luck 🤞🏼 and lots of love 💕

@atxbrighteyes 2 жыл бұрын

My husband did all of these in a matter of a week or two and goes back and forth and does them all again. I've been out for a month now!!

@loriallen9237 2 жыл бұрын

Cycles get quicker. Stay the course. It may get worse before it gets better, but it will eventually get better. But only if you stick to it. Solidarity! 🤗

@shantellcobb7067 2 жыл бұрын

Blocked caregiver mother from everything including my son!! I'm 40 he's 19. I'm her only child and he's her only grandchild. He hates her 🤦🤷we don't give a (BEEP) about lunatics. THE DEVIL DON'T TRUST THEM

@rwdchannel2901 2 жыл бұрын

It's annoying how some people can't be nice to others. It's not that hard, but some have such insecurity they must try and dominate others.

@shantellcobb7067 2 жыл бұрын

@@rwdchannel2901 THEY ARE JUST PLAIN OL,(BEEP) LUNATICS 🤦 THE DEVIL DOESN'T TRUST THESE MOTHA (BEEP)!!💁💪

@threedog575 Жыл бұрын

My mother does this same stuff to my father he drove his truck front end into a semi after 26 years of it.

@johngaskell2199 Жыл бұрын

Perfect! I dealt with this for three years. I’m finally free from it. She was controlling and everything was about her. And when she tried to mold me into something I wasn’t and I pushed back because of my independence. I was told how I wasn’t a man and then she found reasons to discard me. I’m good! I’m way better off and happier without that in my life. When she started pulling her psychopathic bullshit, I packed a bag and got as far away from her as I could. And I will remain as far away from her as I can. I will never speak to her or apologize to her for anything.

@footballmx21423 Жыл бұрын

I am grateful for the many lessons I learned from my time with a grandmaster narc. That 5 years was hell but I’m long into my recovery journey and things are better than ever. The more I learned towards the end of that relationship and through my recovery, the more I saw how important self growth and emotional maturity is. I would not be the person I am today if I’d never come across a narc. Still would advise against dating one. Water your own grass to the point that you yourself are happy being there.

@markcapestro5390 11 ай бұрын

Narcissists are like brand new tennis balls - nice neat and orderly outside with an empty dark center.

@zanb35 Жыл бұрын

So True and I wish I knew what I was going up against before I filed for divorce! This has been emotional draining and financially draining. He took me off the joint account, the phone service and lied about me not able to step foot in our home! Not to mention he took a big chuck out of his 401K and is claiming his mother bought everything in our home that is community property! Materialistic things I can re buy but my Son is my World. It was only my Son and I all the time. Lies come out in the end. His story is starting to fall apart. He doesn't remember his lies. All his text, emails, messages and voice-mails are becoming my evidence! To all the lies he swore under oath that I did! Please Pray for me, Roxann and my Son Jacob. That the Judge sees through him at court. Thank you💗

@mwangimargaret3607 Жыл бұрын

All will be well. Trust in God

@lindaandrie99 Жыл бұрын

🙏🤥

@janetstonerook4552 2 жыл бұрын

The "chance encounter" that would occur in my space always made me so angry! Like I'd be in my yard working and the big dope would say he " was just driving by" and stopped to say hello. I Iive on a side road and there was no place he would have been going! That went on for a few years! He knew there was no future to it but it was just to try to disrupt my life.

@kennethjorgensen6624 7 ай бұрын

The elaborate and detailed setups so that she could say " OMG, see? You're so angry! Look, look everyone! He's so irrational and mean!"... I was so deep in it, desperate to keep my family, I couldn't identify the gaslighting. The hardest part 4 year's later, is the continuing loss and separation from my kid's lives and the friend group we were part of.😢

@rwe52496 11 ай бұрын

Videos like this help me realize I’m actually *not* the manipulative narcissist I worry I am sometimes. We all have tendencies for sure, but I know I’m ok. People actually like me, I’m not tricking them into it. That sounds silly but it has taken me a long time to be secure in that

@Ariel737 4 ай бұрын

I feel like the moment we might think we are the narcissist is the exact moment we should truly realize we aren’t AT ALL. The empathy says it all

@hishealer 2 жыл бұрын

Mine started apologizing, real apologies, but about stuff that I had forgotten, and never really cared about. That threw me. I told her I never cared about that, and she acted like everything was mended. As if that fake emergency last weekend didn't happen, but the missed trip from 10 years ago was so important. But don't bring up last weekend, because she's distraught about the old thing, the poor dear!

@maggieglover5204 Жыл бұрын

i showed up to work for months with bruises. My coworkers were always concerned and supportive, but I didn't talk about it much and I just wanted to ignore the situation. After this last time he beat me bad enough that I finally decided to leave. Now he texts and calls saying that I am the narcissist, I'm the one running a smear campaign against him and that's why nobody like him, and I'm making life soooo much harder for both of us by shutting him out. So yeah... I'm familiar with MANY of these tactics. I left only 3 weeks ago so wish me luck! I'm trying to stay strong for our infant son 💙

@jamesrutter4100 Жыл бұрын

Make as much noise about it as you can. If the people around you see the truth they will help you

@deannarounds3295 Жыл бұрын

Stay strong and I promise if you can stay away you will be able to stand up to him if he shows up. My ex cried and begged and I felt nothing. He called and said he was going to kill himself if I did not come back. I called his cousin who lived nearby him and was an EMT and I explained what he had said and that I wondered if he would go check on him. He never tried that again.

@cynthiafortier2540 Жыл бұрын

Please don't fall for the " I've changed story, I'll get help, bla bla bla". My sister stayed and her two kids are crippled as adults. They do drugs to cope, and take anxiety meds. For your son, I hope you stay away

@bunnyboonot4u 9 ай бұрын

I said "no" last minute to go for tea with her and her friends and she got so mad! She revealed herself by overreacting. I live in the same household as her. I got real sick a month after she moved in. My gut tells me she's capable of deleting me. She totally plays victim and seeks sympathy!! Thank you for this video!! I totally ignore her now. She accused me of stuff she does!! So frustrating! Thank you for letting me vent ❤❤❤

@bkmulwa 11 ай бұрын

Oh my God! I can't believe that I survived this for six years, but I'm glad it's all over now, and I am healing and reclaiming myself.

@markbradshaw7282 Жыл бұрын

It's insane how accurate all of these videos on narcissists are, even when I had no idea I was dealing with one until after the fact. All of these steps and manipulation tactics are exactly what I was dealing with, nearly to a tee. Even when I got out of the relationship, this video laid out exactly what I went through. 1. Fauxpology - I was "friends" with this person for years, never understanding why I would go through weeks or months of silent treatment over things I had no control over. Fights every few weeks, never being allowed to talk about anything and being forced to walk on eggshells. Whenever I told this person I needed space, she starts out saying "I'm sorry you've been feeling this way" and "I just wish we could go back to normal". Obviously, she never even acknowledged or understood WHAT I was upset about or why I needed space. And she stated that she just wanted to "go back to normal" which was code for "I want to be done talking about what I did wrong, and I just want to go back to having control over you without you speaking up about it." It's simply that she thought an "apology" was the best route to go in order to pacify me in the moment. 2. Hoovering - After I said I needed space, she gave me all but a single day before disrespecting the boundaries and saying "I really miss you and just want to go back to the way things were, etc." When I politely said I still needed space (and maintained my boundaries), she switched attitudes in an instant and said "Well I tried. I'll never fucking do that again." 3. Chance Encounter - Not exactly the same because I didn't give it much of a chance, but I dealt with this on occasions before where I wasn't "done" with the relationship. 4. & 5. Emotional Manipulation & False Accusations - She finally texts me again after a month or so and starts with "I don't like what you did to me." and saying things like "You always play these mental games", "I don't deal with this with any of my other friends", "You won't ever tell me how you feel" (as if she would ever let me speak before flying off the handle, shutting down the conversation and then giving me the silent treatment), and my favorite "I shut you out in the past so you should know how bad that made you feel, so why would you do it to me?" Just every tactic she could think of to make everything about me and my flaws, misrepresent every situation and play the victim. It's also ironic because her "not understanding what's going on" just demonstrated that her earlier apology was fake as she didn't really seem to even understand why I was even upset. I could go on, but you get the gist. Each step here is just the tactic that the narcissist thinks will work at the current point in time. None of it is real and it's all just an attempt to regain control and power. I just wish I understood all of this earlier.

@marthabergin9023 11 ай бұрын

Same here. Hope you meet someone nice.

@cemeterydrive10 2 жыл бұрын

I broke up with my narc very recently and he tried to use my traumatic past against me after he realised love bombing doesn't work anymore. absolutely terrifying! thank you for this

@skyjack8541 2 жыл бұрын

Was your narc in a religious cult or riligious

@cemeterydrive10 2 жыл бұрын

@@skyjack8541 nope neither of those

@Scott-nr2ji Жыл бұрын

I had an ex-girlfriend show up uninvited pretending to sympathize about a permanent separation I was doing with my family of origin across the country. When she could get her little way one time, just like yourself, she decided to try to use that pain as a club to beat me up with as if I were some baby seal. I told her on the phone never to show up at my place ever again, and if she does that anyhow, that I'll get a restraining order like I did against her 11 years ago. (How dare those cowards use information that we confide in them and pretend to care only to use it as a cheap shot.. permanently banned from my life!)

@westcoast747 Жыл бұрын

@@Scott-nr2ji I had one threat to expose personal information that I had confided in her about myself. Wow, for me that was crossing the line, trust destroyed. Told her where to go, never again.

@cynn29 Жыл бұрын

Yep… using past trauma to retraumatize you…

@LuvDogs65 11 ай бұрын

Some are dangerous, once they lose control. I'm with one and I know if I left I'd have to worry.

@BriDia3 5 ай бұрын

I used to think just like you. I stayed. Then I made the mistake to call him out on his manipulation and then he almost killed me. LEAVE!

@LuvDogs65 5 ай бұрын

@@BriDia3 I'm safer if I don't leave. I'd end up being a story on KZfaq. 😐

@BriDia3 5 ай бұрын

@@LuvDogs65 I'm so sorry you're going through this! I wish I could help 😢

@LuvDogs65 5 ай бұрын

@@BriDia3 Aw, thank you. I have my 4 dogs that bring me some happiness. As long as I focus on them, I'll be alright.

@BriDia3 5 ай бұрын

@LuvDogs65 you sound just like me 😢 mine did lose control. What followed what bankruptcy, waiting 4 yrs for trial and being completely humiliated during the trial. He got 8 yrs probation. Please 🙏 don't let it come to that.

@zoneout2thawrld 25 күн бұрын

What’s crazy is a narcissist will try to controll you but don’t even pay attention to their kids . They let their kids do whatever tf they want

@ultrasonic1494 2 жыл бұрын

My narcissist girlfriend would always accuse me of abuse. She was the only person being abusive.

@jonassavimbiunitaparty6876 3 ай бұрын

😂😂😂😅😅😢😮🤔😏

@redpillretail 2 жыл бұрын

When you know your not a narc when you don't care what anyone thinks about you. = self worth and sel confidence. They can kick rocks. I'm cool in my own skin. Roll around with a pig you will stand up covered in shit. Don't roll with them 🔥✌🏾🤘🏾

@sunusiabdullahi6889 2 жыл бұрын

✛ 22897401705🈹⏩⏪🉐🈲

@sunusiabdullahi6889 2 жыл бұрын

WatzaP

@sunusiabdullahi6889 2 жыл бұрын

✝️ 22897401705🈳♿️Ⓜ️🈂️🛂🛃💹🈯️

@redpillretail Жыл бұрын

Hey don't reply to these witch doctors trying to scam you you tube is rife with scammers sick and tired of these scammers what's app this and that don't do it or you will get scammed

@scottairhart8594 Жыл бұрын

Precisely: The apology without changed behavior.

@lauriealmy7073 28 күн бұрын

I was in my late 60's before I had a relationship with a narcissist and didn't see it coming. It took over a year and a half to break free once I realized just how toxic she was, but I did break free and still feel like I escaped something terrible.

@velvetsound 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for creating this list. I just lived through every one of these, almost in this exact same order. It’s like there is a Narcissist Cookbook, and they are all following the same recipes.

@maiafreeman357 2 жыл бұрын

I always say they seem to have a manual😙

@betaylor173 Жыл бұрын

Apparently it is their nature...Thankful we have retained our Souls throughout our abuse.

@farzinsharabianlou9215 Жыл бұрын

Of course, with some slight variation!

@rbryanhull Жыл бұрын

I've often said they all attend the same "Asshole Academy". Isn't it weird how when victims compare notes, it's like we all were with the same person?

@005HegeFredriksen Жыл бұрын

Jason Doherty: Hahaha. Yes, the Narcissist's Cookbook! Indeed! Handed down from the Devil himself; the original narcissist! Hahahaha. Good one. Thanks. :)

@tactileproduct03 Жыл бұрын

1. Fake Apology 2. Hoover & Discard 3. Chance Encounter 4. Emotional Manipulation/Blackmail 5. Make False Accusations 6. Smear Campaign 7. Threaten You

@joshuaestep6130 Жыл бұрын

I feel like I’m a narcissist how can I not be one

@lukas8708 Жыл бұрын

@@joshuaestep6130 from my own experience with such person when I was done with her bs ad.4: - I'm gonna hurt myself and it will be your fault! What will you do then? - I'll open the champagne xD

@cyndim8785 Жыл бұрын

They need to teach this in school, The Roller Coaster ride of a narcissist that never stops, I’m 40 years in deep it doesn’t change it only gets worse. RUN FORREST RUUUUUUN!

@jessselene 10 ай бұрын

👽

@SeanOzz 11 ай бұрын

Going through number five right now. Exactly word for word. It’s mind blowing.

@IiIbaby 9 ай бұрын

Ignore the lies and live your life. The narc will fall when they realise that they can not control you anymore.

@Harleydad44 11 ай бұрын

This so spot on. I was seeing a gal and found out that she is a narcissist, everything you said was exactly as she was and behaved to a damn T. Thankfully i saw it and said goodbye as much as i loved her and it definitely hurt it is so much better now. No more bs and drama. Thank you so much

@heello2u465 2 жыл бұрын

holy hell, this is why I was worried I was a narcissist as I try to get away from my friend.

@evelina787 Жыл бұрын

“The time for action is now. It’s never too late to do something.” - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

@paulohlsson27 11 ай бұрын

Hi Evelina, how's your day going with you?

@shawnhunter228 Күн бұрын

I spent twenty six years in this hell storm.I just barely made it out.I had become so broken,and dysfunctional.I thank God for giving me the courage to take my life back.

@sadia3783 2 жыл бұрын

1. Fauxpology 2. Hoover and discard 3. “Chance” encounter 4. Emotional manipulation and emotional blackmail 5. Make false accusations (accuse you of gaslighting or being a narcissist) 6. Smear campaign 7. Threats Thank you 🤍

@JustJenReacts 2 жыл бұрын

They also use kids as a weapon. They use them as being an excuse as to why you cannot break contact.

@influencevideoproduction 2 жыл бұрын

2,4,5,6 and 7 I had gone through. Glad I got out just in time.

@catlady6938 2 жыл бұрын

My ex did all these things, so exhausting.

@neena9202 2 жыл бұрын

How do u tell the difference between someone sharing their experience vs someone lying about someone?

@adbernhardt1700 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Sadia. 👍💜🍀🌼