10 Things Narcissists See As Weakness (That Are Your True Strengths)

Рет қаралды 22,352

Жыл бұрын

Ever wonder why #narcissists see your strengths as weaknesses? It's because these are usually the very things that they use to exploit people -- but these traits on their own aren't weak. They actually make you stronger than the narcissist! As long as you know how to use them.
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*In this video, I share the tips, techniques and insights that have worked for me in my own journey of healing after narcissistic abuse along with expert tips and tools I've learned through years of coaching narcissistic abuse survivors. I am not a therapist and this video is not meant to provide therapy of any form. #narcissist #covertnarcissist

Пікірлер: 88

@CommonEgo Жыл бұрын

➡ Download the complimentary workbook to understanding the stages of narcissistic abuse (with checklists) here : commonego.com/checklist/

@terrid.9204 Жыл бұрын

Every betrayal begins with trust.

@MeaolaOrg4 Жыл бұрын

😢so true

@jeffhoward162 7 ай бұрын

So does every true person in your life.

@mightymouse1005 6 ай бұрын

Yep, you can't be betrayed by an enemy

@oachie8862 6 ай бұрын

Very powerful statement. If you can come out stronger and heal properly after being a target of a C.Narc, the chances of falling for this a second time has to be next to none. I feel like I could spot them a mile away after experiencing the 14 months of looloo. Therefore, my suggestion is to run far and fast the other way and never look back.

@daniellemorse6929 Жыл бұрын

A narcissist sees any good traits in us as weaknesses because they don't have those traits.

@mightymouse1005 6 ай бұрын

Yes They hate us because they can never be us...they're incapable of decency, honesty and integrity

@KC-ns9do Жыл бұрын

These situations are so much easier to see once you detach emotionally. I did see red flags and called them out but stayed long enough to see the toxic patterns. He thought I'd keep letting him back into my life. His mask completely fell once he saw I was no longer willing to participate.

@petekdemircioglu Жыл бұрын

Same Here: Blessed with partners who are experts in “ripping off” his mask and making sure he cant hurt us anymore.

@louisegarner8888 Жыл бұрын

Our perceived weaknesses : 1 Empathy plus a lack of, or porous boundaries. 2 Forgiveness, able to "walk in another's shoes" to see all sides, perspectives and subtler nuances of a situation or viewpoint. 3 Vulnerability, openness, in touch with and able to relate to other's feelings, flaws, mistakes and emotions. 4 Trust, faith and loyalty to others who consistently put in the effort to build with us and earn to secure it. 5 Dependence as reciprocal trust in another to demonstrate appropriate care, empathy, cooperation, understanding and meeting of needs. 6 Emotional expression, recognising and feeling other's body language and subtle nuances as expressions of mood and relating. 7 Humility in genuinely relating with others without a need for hubris, advantage or to be inferior or superior. 8 Boundaries and limits as self protective rather than weaponised. 9 Compassion, able to demonstrate concern and care for other's pain and suffering, without any hidden agenda. 10 Self reflection, able to see mistakes and make changes to course correct long term, without a need to make yourself appear right and others wrong. 💞

@guntertorfs6486 Жыл бұрын

Skillful use of language. Succinct but still very descriptive.

@jasongrice5465 Жыл бұрын

Thankyou ❤

@terencehennegan1439 Жыл бұрын

Thank you.

@katerinahofman7506 Жыл бұрын

Ouuu I have 10 of 10....no wonder, that I was easy pray......

@mightymouse1005 6 ай бұрын

I have NONE of these wonderful attributes for the narcissist. For normal people, yes....but, empathy does NOT mean be a victim......

@kadlacdixon-thedrawmylifep3293 6 ай бұрын

They see as weaknesses, but they lack these characteristics tremendously and ironically enough it makes them the weak one in all actuality...

@alcudiababe1 Жыл бұрын

Actually Narcissists fear the enlightened and healed empath. So being an empath is a truly beautiful person but the Narcissist fears usually being seen through and who better to see straight through a Narcissist, pick up on mood switches and feelings than a healed empath!

@mightymouse1005 6 ай бұрын

A true empath is not always a kind and forgiving person. We're HUMAN first and our anger is palpable, without saying anything we get that across and can ACUALLY be dangerous to a narcissist

@mightymouse1005 6 ай бұрын

Yet.....they end up with narcissist anyway. Better to hide the empath traits to not attract them. If you shine a spotlight, ya will attract mosquitoes

@annekenney6914 Жыл бұрын

Interesting. The narcissist that I know seemed to think that I couldn't turn empathy off, that no matter what they had done, I would still be compelled to have empathy for them. They are learning that is not the case.

@CommonEgo Жыл бұрын

Eventually we see reality (that they create their own chaos) 🙏❤️

@alayoung9746 4 ай бұрын

And yet one still has empathy because one is able to, even if one chooses not to use it, feel pity for them ❤️

@voulafisentzidis8830 Ай бұрын

Their mistake is that they thought you're an idiot. I'm pleased that you proved them wrong. Kindness is a wonderful quality. Don't ever lose it. Better to let the narcissist go instead.

@christiantrnnes8026 10 ай бұрын

Being taught by a surviver couldnt have been more authentic. You are helping a lots of souls out there. You are a fantastic!

@Someoneoutthere67 Жыл бұрын

Thank you so very much for what you do, so sorry though you had to go through such a bad situation to heal and help heal us.

@edithflood631 3 ай бұрын

17:12 “or if you just moved to a new place and don’t know anyone..” Richard Grannon makes similar point… someone moved to a new town, they meet this friendly, endearing person, things progress rapidly… “and then the Gates of Hell open up beneath them” …

@ChrisLewis-ws7eu 3 ай бұрын

Most of my family have never apologised for anything - big or small - to anyone, even the people they claim to 'love'. Growing up, as a kid, teenager... even adult... pretty much every other word from my mouth was 'sorry'. They felt sorry for nothing... I felt shame and responsible for everything that might be wrong , mistaken or inconvenient for them. They would blame me (as a child) for problems in their professional life and they lied about some really significant things, always to make themselves look either as the victim or as infallible. How do these people cope with the cognitive dissonance?

@makecatsgodsagain Жыл бұрын

sometimes i wonder if they made a conscious decision to get rid of these "weak" traits in themselves (perhaps in childhood) or if they never had them to begin with .

@jamesrutter4100 Жыл бұрын

Yes! They CHOSE to become the predator.

@michaelmich00 9 ай бұрын

Wow. How can ppl live like that

@Thunder-lightning852 Жыл бұрын

Somethings, you just can’t fix narcissist is one of them

@Someoneoutthere67 Жыл бұрын

Oh boy oh boy! I stepped in the doo doo for sure.

@nicholecornes1915 2 ай бұрын

🏃‍♀️

@kwc7391 10 ай бұрын

I was in a relationship with a Virgo, female, Covid narcissist, that I believe. I went back and forth many times in the relationship, breaking up and going back, kept thinking that it was me having the issues. She was always right, belittled me several times, she was never wrong, and she knew everything. When I would tell her, I love her, she would reply, saying I know that. She could never actually say I love you. I had to always go to her for a kiss or a hug. She said she was old fashion that the guy had to be insertive and go for it. After I finally had enough nerve and broke up with her, 1 May, within 12 weeks, she was with someone else. She doesn’t want anything to do with me. I don’t know why I am still at a standstill on wanting her back. It doesn’t make much sense as I was never treated that way with anybody else I was with. I was always the bad guy in the break ups. She was always the victim. She was so busy with doing everything else for everybody, that I was always the last on the totem pole About the only thing I was sure of was going to her family events feeling I was like I was an accessory. Never could she apologize, or say she was sorry. She would always turn it around, making it always my fault somehow.

@alayoung9746 4 ай бұрын

You are still trauma bonded. It takes time to detach

@clintonnagy1662 2 ай бұрын

Wow. This post is me in your parallel universe. I can't believe What I'm reading. Everything including the Virgo female and her habits. Yes, I can relate. I'm floored right now. Married a Virgo, and just broke up with one. Both were the same. Scary

@izawaniek2568 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for a brilliant video. Absolutely Spot on! And strong boundaries is what we need to repel the narcisists! The stronger the better! ❤

@coach_amy Жыл бұрын

I love your videos. thank you. Another strength, which ties into basically all of the strengths you presented, is the desire to deeply know and connect with another person. I am searching for videos which can help me to stop wanting to know and to stop wanting to be included in covert narc partner's secret and compartmentalized world. This desire has put me in emotional, mental and physical prison. I already am starting to feel freedom as I reprogram my mind to not want to know my partner.

@mightymouse1005 6 ай бұрын

Dr Ramani Lisa Ramano YT

@Someoneoutthere67 Жыл бұрын

Can you do a video on what boundaries an empathetic person should have because everything you’re describing describes me and I’m sure I’m not the only one.

@mightymouse1005 6 ай бұрын

Never let anyone talk you into anything you're not comfortable with Don't waste time explaining everything, if they are insulting or mean...block and delete instead of over explaining and defending. Example You meet someone who seems perfect. He knows you wake up and sleep early. He calls at 1000pm and you talk even though your in bed...STOP You simply don't answer and see his reaction. If he gets upset you didn't answer, red flags. He would probably say he was worried about you and jow dare you get upset. No, you answer your phone when he knows your in bed...he broke your boundaries and next time, he'll call at 1100 or 1200 with permission because you already let him cross a boundaries Be strict on everything, they'll call you a prude or bitch...delete instead of accepting

@bereal6590 3 ай бұрын

If they see you showing empathy or compassion for someone, in my experience they're jealous. If they see someone having empathy for you, they're jealous! Then they'll claim they're empathetic and compassionate towards you, no they're not, it's a ruse! When you fall for the trap, then comes the invalidation, gaslighting, contempt and disdain.

@guntertorfs6486 Жыл бұрын

3:29 - not sure if your voice trembles because of sadness or irritation about the deep seeded selfishness of the narcissist. Emotions they certainly stir up when interacting with them.

@mattmann1623 4 ай бұрын

I suspect that she's remembering a personal experience related to the point

@katerinahofman7506 Жыл бұрын

I got into narc relationship,because I felt like he was my soulmate...it was such a crazy attraction and love bombing,what I didn't understood back than....He worked in retairment house like nurse....so I couldn't see that he doesn't have empathy.... Red flags went on realy Fast,but I was blindfolded.....even I saw some paranormal stuff......but I was blindfolded by lovebombing. Now I am happy to be free and realizing that I have really strong intuition...and I can definetly trust my self and universe. ❤

@alcudiababe1 Жыл бұрын

I'd have also thought that if they view you as a honest person they'd see your honesty as a weakness because honest people generally/have a tendency to not see a dirty or underhanded move coming that would truly put the good intentioned person at a disadvantage. Perhaps that's why Narcissists have to view others as having weaknesses because they have to have the upper hand. They have to see everything coming. It's a bit like that quote keep your friends close but your enemies closer because they have to learn everything about some one in their facility to always have the upper hand, they just have to because they fear being harmed in some way and or controlled

@rayabercrombie6239 9 ай бұрын

Ppl that tell you how they have "empathy" usually don't! Lol. Just like a narcissist plays the victim... Most everyone in these comments are playing/crying victim and not having empathy by passing judgement and blaming others too so... Where do you draw the line? A narcissist thinks this behavior is ok, but so do these "victims" so how's one better than the other or are all ppl narcissistic to different degrees maybe!? You helped me put my finger on what was happening. I thought bi polar or maybe a mid life crisis because I've only known her through her 40's (40-46 yrs) and kept making excuses for her. I feel like a fool at this point because i'm good at reading ppl but was blinded by love and the fact we have a child together. No matter what I change, how hard I try, confess my love, try to meet in middle which usually is really her winning n me giving... It changed nothing. She couldn't get over my faults from 1st yr but this is 6 yrs later... Why keep trying so many times then if know you can't get past it!? And CONSTANTLY accusing me of crazy things with zero evidence, usually because accusations never happened.

@damidami5064 Жыл бұрын

She would help a male friend, who she allowed to ruin our relationship, because he "needed a friend", but when I help a female friend, despite the fact that I help people indiscriminately, I am "captain save a hoe", my compassion is in an effort to gain acceptance. She would go on to complain and regret helping people, even though she "loves" to help others. She would do terrible things and lie, but never self reflects. When I do something she doesn't like and I apologise, it never ends and lives in her head as a slight against her. When she complains about me doing things and I remind her of things she's done, it doesn't matter, it was in the past and I "just loooove to remind" her of her shortcomings. She says she hates one word answers, like "Ok" or "Alright", yet, does the same thing. When I use one word replies, after a while, she goes off on me about how I make her feel bad, threatens to leave and I encourage her to leave, but she doesn't. I knew she was off, known her for 10 years, I always knew. I KNEW she wasn't normal and she had issues, knew she was toxic, I just didn't mind, because I could take it. I am glad she's gone, but frustrated she will never know what she is, because she "deserves" better. It would hurt me if something bad happens to her, but at the same time, I don't think she deserves good people in her life, not until she learns to appreciate them.

@adriannemcdevitt3931 4 ай бұрын

It drives me crazy when he asks me if we’re okay after he’s put me down and then “apologizes” for it.

@DJWakening 4 ай бұрын

Excellent video 👍

@amyj.4992 6 ай бұрын

And all of these people, left me with a mean and nasty final word before the departure

@terencehennegan1439 Жыл бұрын

Yet another very enlightening video. They get better and better.

@remytembe4249 Жыл бұрын

Perfect take

@killjoyredux8361 Жыл бұрын

Thank you

@deborahbloem1325 3 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for sharing Christina! I learn so much from you.

@alayoung9746 4 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for your very incisive thoughts and the help they give to me and others. Have subscribed x

@KitKat-ug7mv 5 ай бұрын

Are there really people who experience an emotion simply because they see that emotion in someone else? For example: I can understand the reasons that someone is sad, and I can understand that person is sad. But, I don't feel sad because somebody else is sad. However, I've met people who say that they are sad because someone else is sad... That's where my understanding ends.

@richardharries3164 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for that excellent video. Unfortunately it describes me rather accurately. I’ve got a lot of work to do.

@layladee5604 Жыл бұрын

Thanks!

@CommonEgo Жыл бұрын

Thank you, Layla 😊

@Bianca-sw5id 3 ай бұрын

Christina 💓 I love your hairstyle here , it's my favourite of yours

@jamesrutter4100 Жыл бұрын

THEY UNDERESTIMATE ME ALL THE TIME. THEN THEY SHIT THIER PANTS WHEN I START LAUGHING.

@matthewwozniak9138 6 ай бұрын

They look for gullable victims. I forgave because I was forgiven. They have to experience something themselves to better understand walking in someone else's footsteps.

@alayoung9746 4 ай бұрын

Not gullible victims. Kind, open people

@ashdonknight8761 2 ай бұрын

What comes to my mind is... I had small breaststroke and i hated that I did, at first he used to say don't worry about it bit as time went on he stopped being In intimate with me for 3 months then he stopped touching my breasts when we was again. In the end I had a breast enlargement because I became so insecure to which he loved at first but again after time he turned to something else I hated about myself...

@bronwentownsend5601 Жыл бұрын

My children are my biggest weakness and my children were and are being used as a nuclear weapon against me.

@obed_son_of_god9202 Жыл бұрын

They do that

@obed_son_of_god9202 Жыл бұрын

Going through the same thing

@alcudiababe1 Жыл бұрын

My Mom used to say to me as a teenager I know exactly what kind of day you've had just by looking at you because I believe I held different thoughts and emotions on my face and then that was her biggest mistake. Suddenly I didn't want to be read so easily, I started doubting if that was really a good thing and a part of me felt like "do I really want to be so easily read?" so whenever I saw her car after school despite whatever kind of day I had I began masking my true feelings with a smile. If she hadn't have said that I would never have known or felt the need to change my behaviour because as much as I know I do love my Mother I didn't want her knowing everything

@jamesrutter4100 Жыл бұрын

Just as long as you understand SHE DOES NOT love you back. If you don't understand this you will be VICTIMIZED sooner or later

@bronwentownsend5601 Жыл бұрын

I too can read my children's day by their faces. Please know that that is her love for you that she can't help but notice and care for your feelings.

@alcudiababe1 Жыл бұрын

@@bronwentownsend5601 Im thinking there are somethings better left unsaid.

@bronwentownsend5601 Жыл бұрын

@@alcudiababe1 that's fair enough. Only you know your story. I reread this today and realise I can only speak for myself.

@MeaolaOrg4 Жыл бұрын

Every one of these traits is me. No wonder I was a target

@tiha4592 8 ай бұрын

Of 5:35; My theory for that is that because narcissist takes breaking of his trust very harshly, he most definitely does not want to experience it. This taking harshly may be because narcissist is very definitive about forming of his world view. Some thing either is or isn't, there are no probabilities between these two. It may be much easier to influence forming of his opinion, when it is forming, but this phase may have been years ago.

@mightymouse1005 6 ай бұрын

What i don't understand is people who actually put on dating or social media profiles how they're a EMPATH. You don't have to advertise it. If you don't put weight, medical or negative things about yourself. Character speaks, if your and empath or an asshole, people know. Plus...you put a target for the narcissist. You cant both put a target on yourself and complain about attracting

@mightymouse1005 6 ай бұрын

"Empaths" tend to believe they just need to be abused and abused because if they leave or do something about it, somehow they're bot empath. Thats a crock Empath doesn't mean be a victim.

@donhashugeballs Жыл бұрын

It takes two to tango. The truth is narcissists target broken people.

@alayoung9746 4 ай бұрын

Are you one? Not broken people, kind, open people x

@kadlacdixon-thedrawmylifep3293 6 ай бұрын

❤❤❤...

@Someoneoutthere67 Жыл бұрын

👍

@musicman5889 11 ай бұрын

Just a quick question... you keep saying narcissist look and try to find something as a weakness that you portray. Does this mean that your weakness is the fuel for the narcissist?