11 Stages of a Physical Affair

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11 Stages of a Physical Affair

Рет қаралды 35,168

2 жыл бұрын

Physical affairs don't happen overnight. In fact, there is a lot that leads up to an affair. The relationship has been neglected for a long time or a partner's behavior has been ignored or excused. When couples struggling through infidelity come into my office, I made them select which "step" or stage they are in and this video explains why.
Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC is a psychotherapist, specializing in intimacy, parenting, body image, and relationships.
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Пікірлер: 62

@anhtuyetnguyenthi2010 Жыл бұрын

1. Your partner leans away from the marriage 2. Become aware of another person 3. Innoncent meetings 4. Planned innoncent meetings 5. Linger in conversations in group settings 6. Conversations shift to feelings, not necessarily about each other, but about any topic 7. Isolated meetings under the guise of a legitimate purpose 8. Isolated meetings for pleasures 9. Playful subtle touches 10. Embraces with chemistry and passion, admit feelings toward each other 11. Adultery

@alive4627 Жыл бұрын

My marriage survives but, more than two decades later, her affair still tears at my heart. I adored her.

@BadBadgerTrollAccount172 Жыл бұрын

Aw, thanks for the hope 😆... We're at about a year and a half after I found out. I don't feel like I'll ever be able to look at my wife the same.

@gmhtown Жыл бұрын

I’m almost three years in after discovery. My heart is still torn. She’s not as beautiful to me as she once was.

@regondi 11 ай бұрын

Almost 2 years later and countless lies from my wife, we’re still married and going to counciling but she is not the same person to me. The emotional roller coaster is ripping me apart. Some days I don’t even want to look at her let alone talk to her. I’m convinced it may get better but it will never be what I thought it was.

@alfx5432 10 ай бұрын

I just about had affair with my neighbor lady. It's long story , but I will keep it short. I believe we had a attraction for each other. I believe they were having problems in there marriage. They planned on retirement and selling the home and moving I know didn't she didn't want to, this day came up when she asked me to help her with the bed. She was in her nightgown when she asked me from her front door. Her husband was gone out of the country for about a month. I said I will be right over. But she said give me a min I need to change and she did , I believe I helped her put the lower sheet on the bed because she had back pain, I did help her , my thoughts were if she going offer me a glass of wine. But she didn't. I was hoping she would , but I did not make a move on her because they were my friends, O' but i so wanted to have her , I don't know if she make a move on her. But didn't.

@RubyBandUSA 6 ай бұрын

@@alfx5432 you possess one of the rarest traits ... character. Good for you man.

@brightpage1020 2 жыл бұрын

This should be part of premarital counseling. Such valuable insight. Thank you.

@melanielucero7976 2 ай бұрын

I've been healing for the past several months from my husband's emotional affair, and from what you have said he made it to number 10, we are trying to put our relationship back together and so far it is going ok, lots if work to do. Thank your the video and information so insightful.

@LRS11B 8 ай бұрын

Thank you for the video. My wife hit stage 8. It took about 4 months. I saw her eyes bulge out of her head when she saw a coworker of mine. I never introduced her to him. I saw the genuine attraction. Inside a few weeks i watched her initiate contact and both of their cell phones came. Then the classic dodgy cell activity began. Then she went AWOL for 9 and a half hours. I finally grew a backbone and confronted her. The B.S. stopped. Not immediately, but within a week.

@uncle0eric 9 ай бұрын

I think your step 1 actually comes after step 2. People lean away after they've already started giving time to someone else - not before.

@traditionalwoman5648 2 ай бұрын

I can see how a lot of affairs start at work.

@burnsgayle1643 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you,this video has given me alot of clarity.

@RAdams-us3op 8 ай бұрын

blessings to you Ms. Rapini. your videos are about the best i've seen on infidelity - and i've been viewing a lot these last 18 months as my marriage of 25 years disintegrates. keep up the good work.

@solagratia7998 Ай бұрын

Once you feel an attraction and the desire and longing to see the person but you chose to continue to nurture it and keep it a secret from your spouse, you’re cheating because if it’s done to you, you wouldn’t be happy.

@jaydee6678 Ай бұрын

You are just what I needed to help me figure out what is going on in my marriage. Many of the things are pretty much what I have experienced.

@mikescott5837 2 ай бұрын

Great information, and I agree about the 11 stages you are defined. Totally agree. The one thing I stalled on was your comments at 7:34: "...they are so lonely for you, so missing you in the room with them...". You made this statement like it is a fact, but I don't believe this to be true in all cases. I would argue that it is possible a spouse is not lonely for you and not missing you in the room. And if so, this might even be a reason the partner found connection elsewhere.

@jimobrien6903 4 ай бұрын

My god your words and descriptions are so spot on.

@kasheem1747 Жыл бұрын

At the work place I just experienced this

@davidmawira1593 Жыл бұрын

Your videos are informative indeed. Keep it up.

@precious-fj7ch 2 жыл бұрын

So true. lm going through exactly the same...l love you

@rachelmoore5079 2 жыл бұрын

Wow so insightful thank you Mary x

@positiveparenting6748 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the insightful video. You have great skin btw!

@avitenenbaum6676 Жыл бұрын

Amazing video as usual.

@jensbornagain 2 ай бұрын

My husband was so mean to during his affair. I mean he may as well hit me. And my question is I know he is lying but he swears no sex was involved but the texts say there was. I remeber all these steps thinking back on it for him and I knew something was going on very early I just couldn’t prove it. Why are they so mean ?

@Gotoworkkk Ай бұрын

It sounds like he doesn’t want to tell you the truth, unfortunately… he might be in love with the affair partner

@solagratia7998 Ай бұрын

He loves someone else and is mean to you. This is not only cheating but also abuse! Decide if you want to be in this kind of relationship.

@gcarrillo1976 Жыл бұрын

My husband had an emotional, I since found that he bought “his friend” gifts but insists that she paid him for the online orders. How can I confirm, should I ask her, they are coworkers.

@Gotoworkkk Ай бұрын

They will both deny it unfortunately…

@ladyvirgo013 Жыл бұрын

Nothing innocent about any of this. I tried to talk with my husband but he kept saying he was stressing over work,ya that stress was self inflicted. His affair is with the secretary at work. He left his 12 year marriage 2 weeks ago. I'm the collateral damage along with my daughter. He has the vows and she didn't care that he was married

@MaryJoRapini Жыл бұрын

So sad and destructive.

@laurawalker546 Жыл бұрын

My husband left me for a colleague at work. We were married 30 years. It was and Remains the most painful mental experience in my life and there are still triggers after 17 years now of being divorced. He is now married to this woman and has been for 15 years. There was always some fault in the marriage, and ours was a lack of honest communication. He could not communicate to me honestly anything that I was doing wrong or where his needs are not being met properly. But these sorts of betrayals are very traumatic and very sickening. It has been a long grieving Journey, and the first couple of years for sure we're tough, scary, and hard work. My life has never been the same but I have been trying to make the best of it and grow from it. And by the way the other woman was also married for 10 years and she left her husband too

@ladyvirgo013 Жыл бұрын

@MaryJoRapini it's very devastating. Only takes one weak person in the marriage to destroy so much because frankly, he's more at fault here, he's the one married.

@ladyvirgo013 Жыл бұрын

@@laurawalker546 how devastating. Nobody takes vows seriously anymore, I'm sure there is cheating in that marriage as well

@MaryJoRapini Жыл бұрын

So sorry for you snd your daughter! He made a very bad choice that will be part of his family’s legacy for life.

@carolnahigian9518 2 ай бұрын

❤wow❤What an EDUCATION❤

@tucomalanga82 19 күн бұрын

I'm single and at work this married woman has entered my life nothing has happened other than hugs it's been around 7 months and it's amazing how I feel around her I don't know what happened but yesterday I kissed her neck while hugging her and it was a crazy feeling she didn't seem to mind and we both went on about the day