11 Years of Trauma Healing: What Worked & What Held Me Back

Рет қаралды 3,400

Жыл бұрын

My trauma healing journey started in 2012. I used to struggle with depression, anxious attachment and toxic relationships as well as physical health issues (digestion / IBS, psoriasis and eczema..).
Today I'm happy, healthy and in a loving relationship.
It's been a wild ride!
In this video, I share with you the different stages I went through, the mistakes I made and which healing modalities actually helped in the long run.
If you have any questions, drop them in the comments below!
Here is the link to version 1.0 of my personal growth and healing journey:
www.conni.me/blog/personal-gr...
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WHO AM I?
If we haven’t yet before - Hey 👋 I’m Conni - a somatic coach, breathwork + meditation teacher and surf-yogi, originally from Germany but living in Portugal with my wife and dog Toni.
On this channel I talk about all things healing, nervous system, breathwork and mental health.
⌚️Timestamps:

Пікірлер: 60

@dieJulia82 Жыл бұрын

Conni, I've been following you and your journey for exactly those 11 years and ... wow ... it is just so amazing and wonderful to hear and see how far you have come

@ConniBiesalski Жыл бұрын

damn, that's really cool! following anyone on the interweb for so long is amazing :) so glad to hear that the video gives you hope, as that was exactly my intention!

@summerwine121 8 ай бұрын

wow , I truly feel so so happy for you. What is incredible is that I have had the same journey in term of stages but of course through other life experience. But like you, I went on a spiritual journey, got into spiritual materialism and addiction, did so many therapies, retreats, travels etc... hit the bottom line, my child forced me to slow down and reconnect with my roots and then I discovered that yes, my mind won t help me getting better because trauma is stored in the body! I am at that stage right now. It is a bit hard to commit because I am still in this bad habit of jumping from one thing to another without going deep into one thing. But I know this is a place I should commit to. Good luck to you! It s all very exciting :)

@NikkiBeaupre Жыл бұрын

Ah, I am so grateful I came across your video!!! I have been on an endless and desperate loop of healing for the last 4 years after being diagnosed with Complex Childhood PTSD, desperately wanting to heal it all in one go. This video gives me hope, strength, inspiration and motivation to seek out the tools you have mentioned. Thank you so much for this video, your journey and for existing! I am definitely giving you a follow Conni.

@sissarons8558 Жыл бұрын

True Healing is hard! An arduous road, and it 'takes time'. From my own experience, I consciously started on this journey back in 2002. In 2022, I had a huge breakdown/breakthrough (CPTSD, Depression - my 3rd); including hospital stay. All part of a huge awakening, dark night of the soul. For the past 20 years, I've been slowly healing through different healing modalities (i.e. regression, acupuncture, colorpuncture, meditation, Reiki, shamanic soul retrieval). This time, EMDR also helped to deeply heal many aspects of the unconscious. And, I also found Lee Harris - a channel whose channelings, teachings, empathic nature did wonders for me, too. Namaste Nikki - be compassionate and gentle with yourself - it's all part of bringing forth our Divine Light. Eventually, we'll no longer identify as our traumas; instead, our healing will be the catalyst for others to heal and shine forth their own Divine Light 💜🙏

@NikkiBeaupre Жыл бұрын

@@sissarons8558 What a journey you have been on! Thank you so much for sharing and your kind, encouraging words! 💕😊

@sissarons8558 Жыл бұрын

@@NikkiBeaupre 🙏💜

@lisamuller4250 Жыл бұрын

Your video showed me, that there is still hope for "our kind of people". I'm sure there is no concrete end station of your (or anyone's) healing journey, but it gave me a lot of hope to see, that you come so far :) Thank You, Conni!

@ConniBiesalski Жыл бұрын

wonderful, so glad to hear!! i gave up hope quite a few times, but i'm glad i kept going. much love for you!!

@SouthernHiker Ай бұрын

I can relate to much of your story. Thank you for sharing. God bless you on your journey sister!

@MareikeHuisinga 6 ай бұрын

Wow! Thanks for sharing your journey, Conni. Amazing that you have found healing and yourself! 💜

@lianevoelker9845 10 ай бұрын

Oh Connie! Ich habe so geweint während dem Video! Auch ich folge dir schon seit Beginn deiner Reise - zumindest seit du online unterwegs bist. Und unsere Reise ist so so soooo unfassbar ähnlich. Ich bin damals 2014 los auf meine spirituelle Reise gegangen. War auch bei Schamanen - ich frag mich ob der Schamane in Ecuador sogar der Gleiche war 😂. Yoga-Ausbildung in Indien. Non-stop auf Reisen und Retreats. Mit Breathwork bin ich in Neuseeland in Berührung gekommen, habe es aber leider nicht weiter verfolgt - werde ich jetzt wieder. Seit letztem Jahr mache ich eine Ausbildung zur Kunsttherapeutin und plötzlich passiert somatisch so viel für mich. Ich bin gerade in der "Dark Night of the Soul" phase wo Integration stattfindet von meinem Attachment (nach einer Augen öffnenden Trennung mit einem Avoident). Ich bin interessanterweise genug zu den gleichen Schlüssen gekommen wie du. Und der Schmerz dass das nicht eher passiert ist und ich so lange davon weggerannt bin durch das Non-Stop reisen hält mich gerade noch etwas davon ab voll und ganz zu surrendern. Dein Video gibt mir so viel Hoffnung - vorallem weil unser Weg so ähnlich scheint. Ich hoffe wenn mein Körper mein Wissen und meine somatischen Erfahrung integriert hat werde ich besser in der Lage sein mein Leben dem Universum zu geben und einfach zu akzeptieren was das Leben bringt. Ich freue mich dass du es geschafft hast und glücklich bist ❤️.

@christineschmid-breathwork3215 Жыл бұрын

So so so so sOOOOOOOooooo beautiful to see you and your video now! Thanks for sharing your amazing content, love and life. I love you. ❤

@sara-heinen Жыл бұрын

Sooo good to see you 🥰 And I am happy to hear you're loving and embracing slow living! This video comes at a perfect time as a much appreciated reminder that it's worth to keep going on the path of healing! 🙏❤️

@Becoming-123 Жыл бұрын

I see you girl, you rock xx big hugs and lots of love to dear Connie ❤

@sinaimbacher3385 Жыл бұрын

So inspiring and calming this video ❤ thank you Connie, I needed to see this at the right time. With sharing your truth you are helping others! Thank you for sharing ❤

@zoeelena8718 Жыл бұрын

I love your share, I can relate to so much of it.

@sissarons8558 Жыл бұрын

A HUGE hug Conni. Namaste 🙏💜 Talks like these is what is bringing us together. Love!💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

@bike4peace Жыл бұрын

For me, seeing you, is so special. Because I remember your start... and I always loved you for being real and talking out things, that many were afraid of, ashamed of, or simply did not know about... to see you today makes me aware of how beautiful you are. Much love from Mexico - keep spreading the inner/outer work on the mind and body, you help all of us to get better and that feels just sooo good. Alexandros

@lisa.maritima Жыл бұрын

Thank you for the Video and the wonderful learnings Conni! Makes me happy to see that everything turned out so wonderful for you! That´s another proof that we should never give up, even in the darkest times. I love your content since planetbackpack, I bought and love your breathwork course and I love your instagram live breathing sessions! Your work is amazing, you now give back to other people what you were missing at that time ---> a regulated nervous system 💛

@jordanthornton Жыл бұрын

It’s doing well! Love to see this & here for the fluid creative rebirth of your channel, Conni 🌲

@juliajones1746 Жыл бұрын

I’m glad to see you back and feeling more happy and content. 💚🙏

@ConniBiesalski Жыл бұрын

thank you :)) more to come!

@AlexSefrin Жыл бұрын

Good to hear from you again and finally see you happy! I still remember your first steps with planetpackback... what an inspiring development. Keep going and enjoy your safe harbour.

@sansomeandsloat Жыл бұрын

I love your videos......keep them coming (I miss them and I find them so healing)

@ConniBiesalski Жыл бұрын

more videos in the pipeline :)) got more time and space this summer!

@treasanichathain9758 Жыл бұрын

This was beautiful. Thank you so much 🙏

@ConniBiesalski Жыл бұрын

Thanks for listening 🙏

@s.featherstone Жыл бұрын

Danke, dass du deine Geschichte teilst! Es gibt also Hoffnung, dass auch nach vielen Jahren Heilung entstehen kann. Ich habe auch gefühlt schon alles an Therapie durch. Aber über meinen Kaffee Konsum habe ich tatsächlich noch nie in dem Zusammenhang drüber nachgedacht...

@cosmichealingsound Жыл бұрын

So eine berührende Geschichte. Ich habe auch schon sehr viel ausprobiert und bin viele Wege gegangen. Die Regulierung des Nervensystems war und ist für mich das letzte fehlende Puzzleteil gewesen, um auch die letzten körperlichen Themen in die Heilung zu bringen. Ich bin noch auf dem Weg, aber es geht stetig aufwärts. Ich liebe ansonsten die Energetik sehr und die Arbeit mit der Geistigen Welt, was für mich eine Art von Beziehung ist, die mir eine enorme innere Sicherheit gibt. Deine Geschichte hat mich sehr berührt, liebe Grüße aus Deutschland 🙏🏻

@neuezeitich8868 Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much!

@marielepage Жыл бұрын

This is great, Conni. It really affirms my own journey and where I think it's going. What has helped me the most in all this time was learning a lot of my suffering comes from not knowing how to talk to myself. I have religious trauma that created a framework in my mind where I didn't actually exist and the voices and emotions in me were coming from outside of me (god/devil). Leaving religion with CPTSD I had no idea what I had lost. Realizing what it means to BE human has been the most helpful thing to me.

@ConniBiesalski Жыл бұрын

thanks for sharing - uff and i hear you! religious trauma is so tricky and multi-layered. i know many people who struggled for a long time because of it. and i definitely carried my fair share of it myself (esp. being a queer person). wishing you all the best on your journey and much love!

@barbarapremium6958 Жыл бұрын

EMDR, holotropic breathwork, TRE therapy EFT everyday and writing

@enigmatic474 8 ай бұрын

Thank you 🙏♥️

@thewaterprophet6880 Жыл бұрын

Beautiful x

@papapavia Жыл бұрын

thank you so much ♥

@arturkohut Жыл бұрын

Basically, nothing you have intentionally done has helped you. You just met the right person. Lowkey sounds co-dependency as you might still be the same person with the same issues if you will be left by yourself again 😮

@ConniBiesalski Жыл бұрын

Interesting assumption and forecast :) did you listen to the part where I spoke about my surrender moment? Maybe I should have explained it more but because it was when I completely arrived in my own single happiness. I wasn’t looking for a partner and happy with my life. Besides that, we did a fair amount of couples therapy in the beginning because i was worried that we would be codependent. Those sessions were crucial and very helpful in establishing a healthy foundation for our relationship. My partner had also done years of trauma therapy before we met. Plus, I keep doing my own individual trauma therapy and inner work. There is only so much healing work we can do on our own though - based on attachment theory, trauma happens in relationship and needs to heal in relationship. Therefore, I believe the healing work needs to happen in both dimensions (alone and in relationship).

@Sky.26 9 ай бұрын

thank you

@didepux251 Жыл бұрын

So happy that you are back. I have been following here for sooo long. Many years. You helped me in my healing journey. Glad that you are calm and fulfilled and heal. And in Portugal (was there 2 weeks back is an amazing country) I was wondering. Have you tried family constellations? To heal your ancestral trauma? Or alone? With the work that you have already done i think you can do it yourself. Like i did. Have you heard Hellinger and Mark Wolynn? I think if you have not give them a try. I mean you are german, it totally makes sense to me that you have this type of trauma. For me this was life changer. I have tried things to heal me but nothing like the ancestral trauma. It was ALL there. From my grand mothers and grand fathers and mostly from my great grandmothers and great grand fathers. They suffered tons and it all had passed to me. 😅. Let me know if you tried and what you think. I value your perspective. ❤xo

@normwho7 Жыл бұрын

One of the best tools and healing modality

@ConniBiesalski Жыл бұрын

yup, i have done many family constellation sessions in person 1on1 and in a group and online. Have also read Mark Wolynn, great book! it was all definitely insightful and helpful. also worked on a lot of ancestral trauma in the ceremonies with my shaman and transformational breathwork sessions. in the end though, the healing work is up to us in the here and now and our nervous system. the ongoing and daily healing grind ;)

@sharona-veganhealthandmore Жыл бұрын

Hey Conni, I just love how authentic and honest you are!

@ConniBiesalski Жыл бұрын

thank you for the kind words :) you can google "somatic experiencing" deutschland and then go through the practitioner directory. many therapists offer lower cost rates or bill via insurance.

@janetsweeney3303 Жыл бұрын

This is the 1st time I've seen any of your videos..such alot of work on yourself is quite remarkable, so many different processes. I hope for you that all of them have helped because you look so sad.i was also dependent on another person for my happiness,,became very needy and fell apart when the relationships ended ...because the relationships were so destructive. I feel that now I don't need another for my happiness..i had to learn that for my own survival.I like knowing that. I hope that if you are without your now relationship at some point it dosent send u back down that deep dark hole,,,and I mean that with great respect for you. I know for me if I entered into a other relationship I'm stable enough that If it ended I would be just fine. We all need to know that.Again I mean no disrespect to you in my comment and I wish you well in all you do .

@ConniBiesalski Жыл бұрын

Maybe you're projecting your own sadness onto me ;) I'm doing great! I was already very happy on my own before I met my now partner, so no worries there. All the best for you

@janetsweeney3303 Жыл бұрын

@@ConniBiesalski I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you in anyway. I'm not projecting anything in my message and I'm sorry if that came across in that way. I'm glad your happy because everyone deserves to be. I just didn't hear the part where you found happiness on your own before you enterd your present relationship...which to me is most important to any relationship working..,,your recording went from searching for peace for so long to then being with another person..I must have missed the part in between. so it's my mistake for missing that. Please don't take offence from anything I said now or before , neither of my comments were meant to come across in that way..really they didn't. At the end of the day ..I'm a stranger so what I do or dont think is irrelevent,,even though none of what I've said was meant to offensive to you . I'm sorry.

@christineschmid-breathwork3215 Жыл бұрын

@@janetsweeney3303 if you missed the surrender part in the video: at 11:22 in the video - "the Part 4 surrender" Conni is talking about her surrender and falling in love with herself on a deeper level. Have a good day and much love.

@janetsweeney3303 Жыл бұрын

@@christineschmid-breathwork3215 Thankyou for your reply..I definately missed that part. So would you be so kind as to give me an explanation of loving yourself on a deeper level.

@christineschmid-breathwork3215 Жыл бұрын

@@janetsweeney3303 Sure, in my life experience I always go deeper to love myself. And looking into my past there have been different levels. It s super individual and I think you have your own experience in loving yourself.

@thewaterprophet6880 Жыл бұрын

Love cuddles and fasting are the only things of worth.

@halamachotkova5079 Жыл бұрын

❤❤❤

@barbarapremium6958 Жыл бұрын

❤

@dvacita4557 Жыл бұрын

Do you think it’s possible to fully surrender before reaching what feels like a “rock bottom”?

@anne22kubiak Жыл бұрын

🎉

@ConniBiesalski Жыл бұрын

💛

@NEbluefire Жыл бұрын

How did you afford this journey? This is the road block I keep finding. It all costs money, some of it a LOT of money. People who are really traumatized are lucky if they can hold a job.

@pot_calls-the_kettle_bong Жыл бұрын

💚🙏💯💚💚💚💚💚

@leebeedav 6 ай бұрын

I had never heard of NARM but found two practitioner's in my area so hopefully will find a good fit. I sent you a DM on instagram. Thanks for sharing!