53 years old strait cis male here and my 15 year old daughter recently came out. I wanted to cry. Not because I thought she did anything wrong or I felt bad or I was disappointed. Quite the contrary, I felt blessed and honored that she came out and trusted me to hear it first. It was an amazing moment to realize that she felt safe with me as a parent. All parents should foster an environment of care and love and safety for their children. My heart is overflowing with pride and appreciation and love for my daughter. I’m going to do everything I can to keep her safe and help her navigate this in a safe way. Her mother, on the other hand, found out after going through the kids private journals! Their relationship is very superficial now. My daughter really doesn’t open up about anything to her ultra “Baptist” mother. Parents… please. Make your home a safe environment for your children!

Because I was already exploring my authenticity I feel like that allowed me to have the realization at 39 that me desiring to be with women could happen in real life, it didn't have to be this secret or unfulfilled desire. Crazy lightbulb 💡 moment 🤯 but that is when I realized and accepted my queerness.

I guess I would describe my coming out late in life as sort of making up my mind. I have had gay desires since I was quite young, but I felt attracted to girls as well. I have had relations and relationships with both sexes, but I came to point in my life where it was sort of a time to take a break and do some serious inner seeking. I would rather not go into the details of why, but it was time. One thing that greatly affected me was the realization that relations with men just worked better. The experiences were much more comfortable and just felt right and natural. So I accepted that I am a gay man. It was a giant relief to finally say those words and mean it. For the first time in my life I came to love who I was and enjoy my life without guilt and doubt. We all have a different journey, and like you said, they all matter.

I couldn't even come out to myself because I was financially dependent on others. When I was in Grade 1 (I'm from South Africa) I was traumatised and verbally assaulted on the play ground because I was always looking at this cute girl in my class. I had no idea what it was, but I was confronted by this boy who came up to me and started to scream at me saying "you like girls" and then proceeded to tell me how horrible I was, possibly that I belonged in jail that I was the lowest of the low. I walked home that day, so scared that if my parents found out I would be homeless so I told myself over and over again that I must like boys, I must do everything that it takes and that the only way I would get away with it is if I hid it even from myself. A piece of myself died that day. I killed off some of my life force. All because I was afraid of being homeless and that my parents would no longer love me. I would be confused as a teenager for years because I could never get a certain girl out of my mind, I just couldn't understand why. I was introverted and never really socialized with woman, I spent my free time at church all into purity, I then became a Scientologist (a cult) and L Ron Hubbard would state that he found homosexuals to be the lowest of the low and that it is better to sleep with a snake then these kind of people. I then left the Church of Scientology (that church will destroy your whole life, career, money, health, mental sanity, not joking) I married a man, and fell debilitatingly ill shortly afterwards, I put off consummating the marriage to 2 months after we got married. I began to realise that what was making me feel better was looking at beautiful girls from movie scenes, it gave me hope. I was using it as motivation to help me heal. Sometimes I would get so exited when I went to the shops and there was a beautiful woman there, it would make my day and I would come home thinking about them and how beautiful they were, I genuinely thought it was admiration. Then one day, as a was complimenting this beautiful girl something happened, I started to feel hypnotized as we were looking into each others eyes, she had the same response, I felt so connected to her, I pulled out of it and thought, what on earth was that. I came home thinking about her, It was such a pure feeling of love and connection that came out of nowhere.

I met someone and now I'm going to have to come out to my family in the next few months, something I thought I'd never do and don't want to. I feel it is no one's business if I don't want them to know, and I feel uncomfortable talking about anything that relates to my sexuality. It will be just as awkward as the times I told them about my pregnancies, something that other people get support when revealing. And am I just supposed to be honest and tell them I've been lying by omission about my sexuality since I was in elementary school? Because I know my mom will ask. I'm going to visit my closest aunt for the last time before coming out and potentially losing the relationship forever. I hate that what is beautiful and supported for other people is often ridiculed and isolating for me.

Thank you for this 🙂 I really needed it. Years of internalized homophobia have hurt me so much. I am in the process of beginning to love myself, stop people pleasing and this scares the hell out of me. I am an independent adult but a part of me still feels I'm a dependent child. The crazy thing is, this independent adult keeps hurting the child just like my parents and society did all this time up till now. Your videos are helping me so much. Again, thank you so much 🥰

If you don't hide it, but don't say anything either - I feel stuck. Being single means people just don't know, where does that leave you? As someone who hasn't dated for years, became a single mom by choice, isn't straight, but doesn't like most other terms (i.e. bisexual would be the closest term for me and/or Sapiosexual - but that doesn't seem to be included as a thing?) I often find myself just "passing as straight," but otherwise, I'd have to be "coming out" all the time... which also doesn't make sense. My closest friend or two know I'm not straight, but most others assume straight. I sometimes feel like I don't get to go to LGBTQIA things-- because I people assume I'm straight... or maybe that's just my own block- (39 yr old)

I'm 67 years old trans lesbian, I didn't come out until I was 60, You are so right about these points. I ended up losing my wife of twenty-five years but I'm so much happier!

This is so scary for me, I’m 23, I came out my to male partner. We broke up and I feel happy. But have a son and still live together, but he keeps questioning me (as expected) and he wants to get back together and work it out which literally won’t work out because I’m gay. I want to see change but it’s hard.

Last year, I came out to my spouse of 10yrs as bisexual with a flair for crossdressing. She had known something was different. She asked me to be open and honest so I did. She freaked, even with her sister being Bi and her best friend being gay. She told my parents out of anger. My father is 74 and way to old school. i couldn't even get my ear pierced 20yrs ago. So i had to come up with something and squash the flames...... Recently, on my 40th birthday I came out on my own, to my friends, sister and my mom. I also found out, after the first time I came out to my spouse, she went and had relations with a friend of mine to get back at me for coming out... I hid my bisexuality for over 20yrs working up the courage to even say it was really hard. My spouse crushed me.

Another great video, very thought provoking.

As someone in their mid 40's at the end of a long hetero relationship and now beginning to understand my authentic sexuality, this video was extremely helpful and given me a lot to think about. Thank you ❤

Came out gay to myself at age 61. I'm pleased with myself and at peace. My biggest regret is I didn't tell my mother before she passed away

Fantastic video. Thank you!

I think as a bi person my parents' religious-based homophobia had me repress my same-sex preferences so hard that I didn't even realize I was bi until recently. I just kind of disconnected it, hid it in a box, and hid that box from myself and everybody else. I have been in denial about being attracted to the same gender for literally decades

I came out at 51 as non-binary. I am so relieved. At the same time I have tons going on. I have not been honest for a long time outside my small group of trusted people. Mothers Day was a real trip. So was going to the DMV. It's been everyone calling me Mrs or lady. Then there was the guy who called me mame sir mame. It's a lot! Still, I wouldn't go back into the closet for any reason.

Hi Kelly, i concur with those three things as they relate to my own situation. Living a heteronormative lifestyle all these years but now fifty years old, married to a somewhat conservative, controlling and homophobic woman (we are not intimate anymore), and with a sub-ten year old daughter, it never felt safe to come out to anyone previously. The desire for change for me has borne out of this gradual realisation and acceptance that i am most likely gay and that my current life provides certain advantages bit does not fulfil me. And in terms of opportunity, it was previously the fear of my homophobic parents passing judgement on me, and my own internalised homophobia, that prevented me from having the opportunity to come out. In fairness i did not know myself and believed that i was straight despite gradually mointing evidence to the contrary. Then it was the combination of my chosen career, being on construction, being married to a woman, and being a father to a young child, that gave me no opportunity. Where i am now is that my parents are no longer around, and my daughter is reaching an age where she understands more. I have come out to a few people who i trust, and my current thinking is that in the not too distant future my wife and i will divorce, and once concluded I will consider coming out as gay more generally, and look for a compatible male partner/ husband.

What I am struggling with is being married with a child and pansexual in a heterosexual relationship. It wasnt until my 30s that I realized how important my sexual and gender identity is to me and I feel like I have to mask who I am to be with my husband. I thought that since I am attracted to the opposite sex that would be enough but I still dont feel like I am able to express who I am and I am wondering if I can be who I am while married. Since accepting my sexuality it has been heartbreaking realizing all of the crushes I had when I was younger that I was too ashamed to admit. Truly coming out to myself has been an emotional process.

I just came out this year I am 59. I live in a rural area so it is hard to meet other lesbians. I am on some Facebook groups but not having any luck. I wonder if it is me, not attractive enough not thin enough not smart enough. It is very hard.

So a safety issue is justification for not telling the spouse as soon as possible so they can make preparation for changes of their own?

If I came out as bi, I would be fired from my job & lose everything. ☹️

I want to come out Trans but l have no support I have family but they dont care about me other then me helping them