Being weird has definitely helped me in social settings. I'm an outgoing senior in high school. I was just at this scholarship event where they had this dinner for the recipients. The recipients all went to smaller tables of maybe eight people in the dining room. When I signed in, they told me which table to go to, and so I went around to each fellow recipient at the table, introduced myself, shook his or her hand, and then went and took my seat and started talking with them. After some lively discussion, the one of the girls there looked at me and said "You know, I'm glad you came to this table, because before you arrived, we were all just sitting here for fifteen minutes in awkward silence." That really took me aback for a second, but I guess that's just how most of my fellow Gen Zers operate. All I can say is, be that guy. Be the guy who breaks the awkward silence. Be the guy who says hi to the nerd who's off by himself in the corner. Be the guy that asks the girl out. Worse case scenario, you don't hit it off with whoever you're interacting with. And even that's better than not trying. And by the way, I'm not saying be an extrovert. Technically speaking, I am an introvert, as I am most relaxed when I am alone. But even an introvert can have fun getting to know people. You can't live life completely by yourself.
@LilaRosePodcast2 ай бұрын
Love this.
@anitawitt842 ай бұрын
I’m three times your age and I did this but the constant ability to tune people out by being on social media has made it much more challenging for your age. Bravo that you are setting an example that this is still possible!
@catholicfemininity21262 ай бұрын
Haha, I've been told this before too a few times. While I do have some trauma from being weird my whole life, this suffering helped me learn things I probably wouldn't have if I was like everybody else. But of course, it could've gone in the other way too if I never forgave.
@mjsteward55082 ай бұрын
I enjoy this talk show Lila, where is all my Millennial generation era at??? From 1982-1995. I was born in 1989 and made it to be 35.
@HPTFan2 ай бұрын
I’m 31. Millennial generation started in 1980 to 1994. 1995 to 2009, is Gen Z. I’m a weird person, and I thank God I didn’t fit in the popular kids. Jesus love the outcasts. Whether it is a nerd, or a goth, He wants them. His heart, is after the ones who are broken. We’ll never know what The Holy Spirit is going to use them for His glory, and He’ll humble the prideful. I hope you are having a great day, and thank you for asking. May The Lord be with you.
@saltandpepperandmint2 ай бұрын
@@HPTFanno 1996 is still millennial and 1997 gen z starts
@HPTFan2 ай бұрын
@@saltandpepperandmint Go figure. :)
@heathereliason53752 ай бұрын
Q@@saltandpepperandmint
@chelseabarker225021 күн бұрын
'92 baby here. It was a good talk for sure! My mom would always take a pie to any new neighbor who moved to our neighborhood growing up. Our current neighbors are all very friendly around us and my husband (who is the introvert in our relationship) has taken the lead on chatting with them and even gone to help many of them with plumbing issues. I love being friendly with our neighbors! God bless all the weirdos out there! ❤
@evanbalch2222 ай бұрын
I think when they said that “we are way too picky about things that don’t matter” and “not picky enough about things that do matter” really nails it. Including in my own dating life, but even in my broader social circles, people are choosing partners based solely on the most superficial characteristics and just wave away fundamental values because, “I wish they were more into the same type of music as me,” or “I only date people who dress this way,” or “we need to have the same hobbies” or frankly unrealistic levels of physical attraction on the part of most men and women. It’s such a terrible basis to choose a partner.
@laimajo35472 ай бұрын
That's probably true among a lot of people, but there are many women I know, including myself, who place much more emphasis on values and still have a difficult time (this approach leads to much longer periods of singleness, because the first hurdle is "do we share core values.") I think it's just a bad dating scene all around out there.
@evanbalch222Ай бұрын
@@laimajo3547 I can understand that, and I definitely know women who have solid values that are struggling. You may not be looking for advice, so you can take this with a grain of salt, but I think men and women who have good values tend not to crossover in communal spaces that much, or they look for one another in the wrong environments. Number one, if you’re religious, actually show up to church. And it says something about someone if they can never seem to drag themselves in on Sunday morning. For women, go to things that solid men actually like. Good guys are often geeks about something (golf, cars, motorcycles, rock climbing, woodworking, skydiving) so look for kind of neutral events that might cater to this and go with your girlfriends on a lark. I go to cars and coffee events as a guy all the time. All the dudes are put together and good looking, and sociable (obviously handy because they work on cars), and they’re almost all single. The ones that aren’t single have amazing relationships with really great women. Also, you need to keep going when you find a group you can relate to a little who has a solid group of men. For men, trying out activities that are disproportionately female and getting to know the participants organically is a great idea. I do spin classes and two stepping lessons. The common denominator for all these things is they aren’t bars or clubs or other events solely focused on alcohol and surface interactions. Generally speaking, guys and gals who base their whole life around bars and clubs (don’t get me wrong, I will go out with friends too), as shiny as they may be on the outside, are all style and no substance.
@laimajo3547Ай бұрын
@evanbalch222 I've always had the church part covered, and I only show up to the bar scene rarely (and never expecting to find someone.) But yeah, the communal spaces and events are tough. My work schedule didn't allow much of that for quite a while, but now that I'm working more regular hours I can actually join classes and activities again. It's also difficult when you're in a very small town or community (which I also was at one point) and the choices in activities and dating partners are very limited or absent altogether. I had already planned on doing more activities again now that the opportunity exists, but it's good advice all the same. Thanks for the positive attitude, and I hope you have luck out there.
@CiaoColeG2 ай бұрын
Lovely convo. Also, dating apps suck generally. It turns finding a partner into a game, and people feel like they have endless options, so if they invest in someone, they feel they are missing out. It'd basically hitting the lottery to meet someone who aligns with you on what matters. Plus, married and committed people are on there looking to cheat. "Go out and be weird" is much better advice.
@LilaRosePodcast2 ай бұрын
Yes I almost never hear anyone say dating apps are pleasant… they work for some but real life, in person, can be so much better when possible to meet someone
@sophiezielke95452 ай бұрын
Totally understand what you’re saying, but I did meet the love of my life and now husband on a dating app. I almost missed him by deleting the app and thinking we were too different based on first impressions! But when I gave it another chance we ended up becoming best friends so quickly! I think the key is going beyond the superficial and looking for someone with shared faith and a shared vision for the future - like love for children, ability to sacrifice, and appreciation for your interests even if they are different from theirs.
@C-Rod7x6 күн бұрын
@@sophiezielke9545 this. I met my now fiancée on a dating app. And by far the best person I have ever met in my dating life.
@flashthecorgi20532 ай бұрын
I’m so glad you had Dr. Delony back on!!! He’s the BEST!!! ❤
@LilaRosePodcast2 ай бұрын
Agreed!!
@hbug13_62Ай бұрын
Oh my goodness. Imagine having high school and college being the highlight of your life... that sounds like hell on earth. 😄
@culturallydifferent2 ай бұрын
We love our neighbor, she is 83 y.o. and we take care of each other. I love talking to her. We always give her something tasty I cooked from scratch or fresh produce from our gardens, eggs, flowers, plants, etc and she does the same. My husband helps fix her plumbing. I love the connection we have. Real life communication and giving, helping people is important for a happy life. We were lied that you have to do everything for yourself, put yourself on a pedestal and ignore other "toxic" people to be happy. It's a lie. We need meaningful connections.
@lisabeck62642 ай бұрын
Yay! So glad you had him back on! Can’t wait to watch ! Lila you are killing it with the best guests
@LilaRosePodcast2 ай бұрын
So glad you’re liking the episodes!
@lisabeck62642 ай бұрын
Update - another great conversation! I agree with Lila at the end - you and John are both great at holding an amazing discussion
@thehonestlife36184 күн бұрын
I’m realizing how weird and blessed I am, but also reflecting on how my community came together. I’m an introvert with a lot of friends and a lot of friend groups. And some of them I’ve created because I’ve seen women without community and pulled them together. It has been life changing for me and for them. It really is easier than you’d think. People are longing for connection and will be so grateful to have it facilitated. We have new family friends in our neighborhood. Play dates and wine nights (after the kids go to bed) and it has made such a difference in our lives. Praise God.
@allil87Ай бұрын
Great podcast. I listen to John all the time
@sadgreeneyedbrunette2 ай бұрын
Ps. I am an Orthodox Christian and I love your pro-life movement
@Z25MikeD2 ай бұрын
You have great guests! Thanks for this channel and everything you do! I love to share a lot of these episodes with family and friends. They are always so life giving. Thank you!
@Ttcalisthenics2 ай бұрын
I love my 8 week old but honestly it does suck. It’s not easy. I feel like it’s gonna take me a while to get myself back so let’s just be honest here please .. it’s also tough when you’re constantly sleep deprived and no one helps
@redhot6542 ай бұрын
I've totally been there and hope you can find people to support you. The being alone part is what makes parenting a baby so hard, and you're not a bad mom for feeling that.
@alissab9337Ай бұрын
It is a lot of work to take care of babies then toddlers and then young kids. BUT one day they will grow up and be able to take care of themselves and that day will come quickly!! Please, as difficult as it is at this time invest the time in your child because IT WILL benefit you and your child. As a mom and teacher, I encourage you to keep going. Thank you for your honesty .
@chelseabarker225021 күн бұрын
The newborn stage is soooo hard! Someone gifted me a book 5 years before I had my second child and I had never read it. I picked it up and read it cover to cover while nursing my second baby because it was HILARIOUS and so relatable. I will warn that it was not written by a Christian (as is semi obvious by the title) but I still enjoyed it and it gave me some reprieve while I was jealous of my husband because my whole world was flipped upside down while he continued on as if nothing had changed whatsoever (which is NORMAL and he is wonderful actually but you can't help how you feel in that haha). It's called "Sh!t No One Tells You" by Dawn Dais. You're in the trenches now but the sleep will come. Blessings on your journey and congrats on being a warrior mom world changer ❤❤❤
@rudymalizia88427 күн бұрын
Also apologize to your son and let him feel cherished, even if you split from his Mom, which I pray does not happen. I'm proud of you.
@homeschoolaimsАй бұрын
I have followed Dr John for a while now and KZfaq suggested this video, lovely to meet you and Im looking forward to watching more of your content.
@car_hiller2 ай бұрын
oh my gosh! I just have to comment on the expectation that moms be negative about their position: I just had my second and he’s an absolute dream (my first was a bit harder in terms of sleeping and eating) so when people ask me how I’m doing I say “amazing!” And everyone , without fail, follows up with “really?? are you sure?” In some way or another. It’s so grating!
@tiphainer71432 ай бұрын
Thank you Lila and Dr.D for all of your work and thank you for reminding me that I need to put more effort into building relationships within my community. ❤️ Loving solitude and having people to build real connection with are not mutually exclusive. I tend to forget that.
@jentinanaude26592 ай бұрын
I wish I had the friends he spoke so dearly of- I am so envious. I will take your advice.
@caitlinhanson56662 ай бұрын
Great episode! Still hoping you two will have a conversation aboit counseling women using some of John's calls about abortion as a starting point
@chelseabarker225021 күн бұрын
Since you said you read your comments, I want to let you know that I had a holy moment in heavy part thanks to this episode and of course the conducting of the Holy Spirit. I have slowly gotten better at keeping flowers alive (outside lol), and the other day a church friend complimented that as a gift. Unrelatedly, we went on vacation recently so I asked a neighbor to keep an eye on our house and get our mail. I hadn't given her anything as a thank you, but this episode inspired me to grab one of my too many mugs, fill it with a nice little bouquet of homegrown flowers, and went over to thank her with it. She loved it, and asked if i could do a favor for her when she goes on vacation here soon. A holy moment, free of price! This community building principle will live on in my heart. I miss the days of the 90s when my mom would take a pie to each new neighbor moving into our neighborhood. But we get to take part in owning our stories now and making the community around us better. Thank you both for your work and for the talk, and glory to Jesus for showing us the best Way! 🙌
@natemarx49992 ай бұрын
Another gen from Lila.
@LilaRosePodcast2 ай бұрын
Thank you
@JohnHenrysaysHi2 ай бұрын
Beautiful new avatar! Thanks Lila! And interesting thumbnail! I think there's a fine line between being weird and being a weirdo. Hopefully I found it since I've been saying that I rather be weird than be an NPC. Happy to see your podcast pop up on my phone in the morning! Hope you and your family are having a light-filled peaceful joyful blessed Sacred Heart of Jesus month!
@olololo92242 ай бұрын
Amen! June is the month of the Sacred Heart ❤️
@ctrlbrwl2 ай бұрын
I think "weird" could be associated with quirkiness and playfulness, while "weirdo" could be aligned more with creepiness and perhaps borders on predation. So perhaps align your behaviour with the former traits rather than the latter, and you should be good!
@JohnHenrysaysHi2 ай бұрын
@@olololo9224 Hope you and yours have a good week! God bless you.
@JohnHenrysaysHi2 ай бұрын
@@ctrlbrwl Thanks for your reply! Hope you and yours have a nice day!
@shelion772 ай бұрын
I have 5 kids, plus 2 in Heaven, and a lot of people in my country look at as if we are a pathology, including my own family member... But with homeschooling, and they all being at home, my life being so noisy, full of conflict and stress, I'd never opt out or choose differently or sth. I AM grateful to God, that He gave me so many treasures even though I am far from a perfect mother. My patience is tested constantly and I fail daily - but still - what a tremendous blessing. Marriage too can be real hard, but I'd rather carry that cross and look at the bright side as often as I can than wish to be more "free" and lonely.
@carissimaamicitiaest55352 ай бұрын
Thank you for this episode and for the podcast, Lila. God bless you and your family. 🙏🇻🇦
@Mercbot72 ай бұрын
This seems to boil down to, love others, as they are, without conditions, and life is about experiences.... with others. For the most important relationships, Spouse or children, never place conditions on love and showing love, which includes, especially, telling them the truth and being the truth, as imperfectly as you can.
@claytonmarkin78632 ай бұрын
The real reason to listen to John show is to hear what a wife who is being cheated on sounds like, the pain in someone’s voice when they fear their partner doesn’t love them anymore. Knowing what damages misbehavior can do to people makes me strive to be a better husband and father.
@davidr95892 ай бұрын
Men and women have to take care of each others needs or fall victim to the consequences. Both need to give 100%. It's not 50 50
@Ttcalisthenics2 ай бұрын
It’s been so tough. In 2024 I lost a close childhood friend in a freak accident and my father in law was in a tragic car accident that resulted in severe injury to his arms/ losing his son in that car accident. I had a baby and my husband started his business. 2024 has been brutal
@jennylynn2152 ай бұрын
I wish I had been able to save my marriage. I spent 16 years and 4 kids trying to build something with someone who was not interested. Truthfully, I knew on day one that he was not ok. I was hurting and felt that I deserved a terrible life, and he certainly delivered that. Trust your instincts.
@jessejames882 ай бұрын
Great stuff. Thank you.
@jessejames882 ай бұрын
Awesome guest.
@bunnycow3043Ай бұрын
My two favorite people on KZfaq together!!
@Shei.Venezuelan2 ай бұрын
Besides that, what I find more difficult is to make friends with the same values and beliefs. Sometimes it is like yeah I like this person but them they believe in things that I don't like abortion, or their atheist, things like that
@primaryslauson2 ай бұрын
It's okay to keep some people in certain categories so long as they don't darken your life. You can maybe even lead by example. But do find the few people that can be almost anything. My wife is almost anything for me, but we don't argue economic policy (even though I get a kick out of doing that!)
@SandraSmith-iy6fsАй бұрын
May God bless you both. 🙏🏼 We need more man like him in platforms to normalize this virtuous in men. A man that will sit down and think about his marriage too and how to make changes with his wife to make a marriage work. ❤❤❤🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
@Jordanklabe77712 ай бұрын
Lovely conversation and wish Dr. John had the chance to hash out his points more without so much interjection. Love Lila & this show!
@christinacueto75802 ай бұрын
This was such a good one!! Enjoyed it! Made me realize to much! Thank you! ❤🙏😊
@Solestrellasluna2 ай бұрын
May GOD bless your family, Lila 🌹 🌹 🌹 !
@donettemorgan4703Ай бұрын
I LOVE listening to Father Mike Schmitz on Hallow!!!
@Foxie7702 ай бұрын
0:21 That’s why you need to be married and start having children by the age of 25. Both men and women. Life doesn’t get better after school unless you are building your family in your early 20’s.
@olololo92242 ай бұрын
In America there is a spirit of fear So risky sounds “irresponsible “ not the positive and exciting life choice that it is…. Love to have a large messy family ❤️
@Kris8119Ай бұрын
Loved this convo ❤
@vanessaorellana41542 ай бұрын
I wish John had not been interrupted that much !
@JasmineScott9302 ай бұрын
Agreed. It made it hard to follow.
@Matthew5through-7Ай бұрын
This was great!
@earthmama882 ай бұрын
Beautiful ❤️❤️❤️
@beatrizraterman80842 ай бұрын
hey Lila! I loved this video, thank you so much for all your content. I want to ask you about the Focus Test you mentioned you did with your now husband!
@milo_thatch_incarnate2 ай бұрын
Any advice on getting my husband on board with reaching out to our neighbors? He loves having coworkers, friends, family, and church friends over all the time! And we do! But he does not want to get to know our neighbors, because they "might be weird" or creepy, and "we don't know them, what if they're serial killers?" I understand where he's coming from... but how do I, as a Christian wife, gently influence him towards wanting to be in community with our actual neighbors, not just our church friends? I don't want to just act independently and just _bring_ them food or something without his assent, because he'll feel undermined... so I need to have him on board to reach out to them. Any tips on helping him "see the light" on "being a light" to our neighbors? This was SUCH a great episode, I LOVE that you talk about all the hard stuff, like the difference between doing the _hard work_ with a spouse who's not perfect, vs actual abuse, and the fact that children NEED the physical touch of their mother constantly and _nothing else_ will suffice. Such good stuff.
@laimajo35472 ай бұрын
Whelp, the picky convo was useless for me, and I'm sure it was for a lot of us singles. Most people I meet in person or on dating apps don't share my values. Unless anyone advises marrying someone you aren't the slightest bit romantically attracted to, I don't think most practicing Catholics are having issues because we're too picky.
@redhot654Ай бұрын
Girl I love your podcast but please stop cutting him off