Link to my best resources: linktr.ee/narcabusecoach

They also use fake tears to make you feel like the bad guy. We empaths should be careful not to feel sorry for them

It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.

Those countless and needless impulsive interruptions to satsfy their insatiable desire to demonstrate their superiority are so damaging! They never grow tired of performing for strangers while neglecting and demeaning those closest to them. Rotten to the core.

Narcs love to see you sad and down, they hate seeing others(empaths) enjoying life. They put you down with drama, chaos and schemes....also i had noticed they disrespect you by taking your time (always late or make you wait for them, that makes them feel important) , by taking your money (always asking for borrowing money or not paying at time). And they disrespect you by envy what you are or have, they are wicked creatures.

I've learned whenever I had the feeling of inadequacy, being left out in the group or someone giving passive agressive, subliminal vibes, they 100% knew what they were doing. They wanted to make me feel like a shit. I've realized it while dealing with ex supervisor who was doing it in obvious way, but it made me go back to my younger years when I had no idea people do it on purpose. When you realize it's their intention to make you feel shitty, ruin your day, it doesn't affect you that much.

It is a clash on the spiritual realm when we deal with them

They burn bridges then wanna come back.

This is exactly what my significant other has done to me for years. He has a constant yawning habit that I call him out for all the time, or he stretches, but a lot of times he literally picks up his phone and starts looking at it in the middle of my talking or walks out of the room mid sentence.

When I tried to ask my Ex what we could do for my Birthday, he would say, "What are you going to do for me? SERIOUSLY????

The narc in my life turned the television as high as it would go to drown me out. Now, years later, we have no conversations . Why bother? I have nothing to say to him.

In my relationship I never got validated even once! Always felt like talking to a vacuum, and saying something really stupid, too But one time she said, that in her job, as a care giver to people with dementia, how important it is, that she validated them no matter what.... This left me really bamboozled. Now I knew, that she knew the concept of validation....but me, she still wasn't. Hurtful, abusive...done my share, now I am doing no contact for good.

I remember being out to dinner & having a conversation with my Narc, he would stop listening to me & watch another woman walk past us & say “you should wear that” Yep don’t miss that at all!

Once, my sister watching me while I was enjoying a soup she had made herself, I noticed her eyes full of envy. Even if I was praising her cooking, she couldn't stand seeing me smiley, vivid and happy. It was the day of her birthday and I gifted her a beautiful jewel with a butterfly. She only said: "I hate insects" and left the box on the table.

My Ex used to always yawn, look at his nails or phone as I was telling him a story or something important. He would also talk over me, interrupt me, or just walk away. He never looked me in the eye.

Southern Psychos always pull this move: I'm praying for you. I've put you on my church's prayer list. (This is without your solicitation). I've had several witches that commited identity theft and grant fraud using MY teaching credentials, college degree, resume and lesson plans, etc. CALL my family, ex-husband, childhood friends and current employer because they are "worried" about my well being. This was out of the blue, there had been zero confrontation,.etc. I didn't know about the grant fraud/identity theft AND I didn't find out years after their false concern, that raised all kinds of flags about my mental health and well being.

Empaths and Narcissist.. idk why they cross paths. Just soo sooo soooooo disastrous

They try to make you feel incompetent!

We don’t need their respect. We just need to move on

Yes. Total disinterest in my happy stories but love to hear drama or negativity. Especially if they get you talking about their victimhood

I think every child of narcissistic parents develop that 'I'm sorry look' to the people their parents encounter. I always felt embarrassed and ashamed of how my parents spoke to and treated other people. They were condescending and rude.

My narcissist will turn the tv louder or change the channel and when I ask if he's listening to me he'll say he can do 2 things at the same time... can't you do that??? lol

On our anniversary I gave him a nice gift and he didn't get me anything but he happened to buy himself speakers for his car and he said "you can have these speakers." I never asked for speakers . He never put any thought into a gift. It was insulting.

Yes, it is strange that they do not care enough for you to help you prevent a mistake, and the pain that goes with it.

My mother would disregard me in front of my children. I would happily start a conversation with her and she would cut me off looking around the room to talk to my children. She didn’t give a damn about me or my children she just wanted to continue this generational narcissistic disrespect so my kids would disrespect me. Now my oldest son look at me like I have no importance 🥲

Great video. When I announced to my now ex narc husband that I was pregnant [a child we both wanted and waited for], he looked at me as if I had invited him to a funeral. No words, no congratulations, no flowers, just a poker face without any emotion. It's only weeks later on when his family called me to congratulate me, and I was told that he was "overjoyed "!....he told all his family how happy he was and to me - nothing....

Plausible deniability is exactly what they do. It’s like trying to nail jello to the wall to confront them on their bad behavior because they just deny everything. It will make you feel crazy. Just remember you aren’t crazy and they know what they’re doing. Just get away from them if you can.

YES!! My ex use to ask me questions or ask my opinion on something and then when I would answer and he obviously didn't like what I have to say he would FREAK out at me. Then during the rare normal conversation he would burp and loudly blow it into the phone at me while I was talking and then he'd make weird mouth noises and I'd just be like.... um excuse you? Who does that? Then he would yell at me and say I was trying to control his bodily functions and because of that I'm a manipulative and controlling person for not allowing him to "be himself" smhhhhh. That crap really got to my head for a LONG time he would always say "you're trying to change who I am! You are trying to control me!" whenever he would call me a mean name and I'd say don't call me a mean name! "You can't tell me how I can and can't talk!" mind-blowing.

When I would be driving us somewhere that I didn’t know the way very well - he was supposed to be telling me which way to go, but he would stop giving directions so that I would end up going the wrong way and he would yell at me for not knowing what I was doing or not asking him. But he already knew he was supposed to be giving directions and was in the beginning. He did this so many times just to have a reason to start and argument and upset me

We MUST learn to recognize the signs, especially of a covert! Each narc thinks they are special and unique, but they ALL HAVE THE SAME PATTERNS !

My entire life, I grew up with being interrupted. I would be talking, and my parents would just start talking to others. I would have to say, "umm HELLO, I was talking!!" Then I met my husband. I try to talk to him and he justeither doesnt listen at all, claiming he didnt hear me or he interrupts me. Usually, he butts in and starts with his negative thoughts about what i was trying to discuss with him. I swear he does it on purpose so we wont talk to him about anything. So he doesnt have to be responsible for anything. Sad thing is, he not only does it to me but he does this crap to all 4 of his kids. None of them want to deal with him. Thanks Danish. Before i wasnt sure what was going on. Now, that you have dicussed it, it makes sense!

The person I am talking about, used to do the following: On the phone, when my turn to talk came, I was telling her about something important to me. After a minute or two, I could hear her... talking to somebody else! She just put the phone aside, and I was talking to an empty space. How disrespectful was that. On other occasions, she would use the speaker without warning me that a crowd was listening to something potentially private. She would also inform me that she was not interested in my problems, so I was not to bother her, because she had her own. At the same time she used me as a shoulder to cry on.

Thank you for your vulnerability. I'm 52 and the best thing I've done for my recovery from alcohol is to grey rock my mom.

They just 'tune out' when other people talk about things that don't involve them. Once my Narc was with me visiting his 'old' friends. They were talking about some noise issues they were having from a nearby sawmill and that they had complained to the council about it but nothing had been resolved. When they finished telling the whole story, my narc asked them why they didn't complain to the council?????? I just had to blurt out that they had already said that! He was quick to reply..Of course😜😜 He had not listened to a word they had said....pretty funny but of course I couldn't laugh out loud...just inside my head 🤣🤣

You nailed this. My experience was even more “covert “ with it. It was a sloooow drip of torture. It took me a while to catch it through negative feelings, see it, accept it, and navigate my exit. Now I’m experiencing cyber stalking and surprise meetings dripping with victimization and blame. May Every Soul Find Escape

This explains why they fall all over and worship anyone who flatters them and takes their side. Their flying monkey who gangs up with them to attack someone or make that person feel unimportant or intimidated.

Yes he was always yawning during those times when we should’ve been getting closer.

They always love interrupting you and they can keep questioning without listening and interrupt you continually until you are confused and uncomfortable. They will cut off whoever talks to you from the beginning. They allow them to ask how are you and when you are about to answer, they will call them or ask that person a question so you are excluded.

I had a narcissist husband and a mother a covert narcisstic. I fell ill physically snd left the marriage . I almost lost my life . I turned to spirituality found peace being alone now . But I have to go help my old mom back to covert . I feel very disrespected by both of them . I am a survivor always running from one to another . Best place is with God

Took me 50 years to realise that my favourite sister is a covert narc. We spent many years commiserating over our sister who is an overt, charismatic, bullying narc. Turns out that I have been the fool for decades, both of their supply. The covert narc has been supportive, lent me money, been my cheerleader in our narc family. Except she did that for as long as I didn't point out her own awful behaviours, critical spirit, lack of compassion, self absorptionand epic silent treatment . I called her out and instantly became exposed to her venom. 5 months later and we haven't spoken. And amazingly, I don't miss her. We used to speak daily, hang out every weekend, do vacations. Very intense. It's freed up space for other friends, interests and new energies. One day at a time

My mother talked for years about a certain coffee pot. I brought the exact one she wanted for Christmas. It was expensive and when she got it she put it on top of the refrigerator and never used it. I was upset that she never took it out of the box. I never got her anything else that was very expensive again because I felt it would not be appreciated. I felt she was very ungrateful.

My husband will start talking before I am done. When confronted he says "oh I thought you were done" Like, did you still hear sounds coming out of my mouth? No I wasn't done. He does this so often

No more unappreciated gifts 👋

That's so my narc sister! To a T. As soon as I start talking she stretches, wretches, stares into iPad. Never listening.

Looking at their watch repeatedly 😭 Even when he wasn’t wearing a watch. Then getting mad at ME for pointing out that fact. He vehemently denied it for the longest time, and then I got it on video once and the rage I saw in him was just scary. Thank you Danish for making me feel validated and somewhat sane ❤️

Yes, it is truly a minefield of disrespect and cruel down-putting. Going gray rock doesn’t make the pain and post-humiliation go away.

This thing with the gifts just happened recently to me. I went to Ireland and brought him back a special baseball cap from the Guinness store which was quite expensive. When I gave it to him he just sat there looking at it with the poker face you describe. He didn't even say thank you. Time froze for me. I was in disbelief at his attitude. I have since gone no contact because I've had enough of this horrible behavior.

Thank you for saying “ you don’t need to prove it “. At a point I was soo confused,helpless and bashed down that I seeked validation from people around me and no one really did give me that.

My so called 'best friend' did this to Me all time. After starting my healing journey. I know now what she was doing. She died before I could cut her off. Rats

Once my narcissist ex said: stop being so happy and smiley, i hate it when you are like this🥴. He always wanted everyone depressed because he was always stressed and depressed

My sister preferred the third tactic. She had google maps on her phone, but I was not yet familiar with it. We were attempting to find a destination I'd volunteered my old TomTom to locate. When we were nearly there, I discovered my TomTom was broken. I apologized profusely. Crickets. Embarrassed, I apologized again. Angry silence. I called our destination, but was given unintelligible directions. We drove around some more. I apologized again, groveling repeatedly. Still angry silence. Suddenly, after 20 minutes of this torture, sure I'd spoiled our entire day, and horribly embarassed at being terrible with technology, suddenly, she busts out her phone, pulls up google maps, and took us straight to our destination.

Eventually, I would be amused when I saw them in action. One time all the kinfolks attended a wedding. The (disrespecting) narcissist saw me and decided I was the 'highest-ranking' person to sit/converse with. I knew other guests would soon arrive (that they considered to be higher ranking). I just waited and watched. Sure enough, the conversation shifted from me/anything I thought/said to the new arrivals. The narcissist suddenly got real quiet and moved away from me as soon as possible. At the reception, I didn't even rate a minute of their now-expanded attention. It was so comical, I didn't even care (since I was used to their carryings on by then). It pays to figure these people out ahead of time. Then, with lowered expectations, you can avoid taking so much of their behavior personally -- since THEIR behavior isn't YOUR fault.

Having had that occur so often & know how small it makes me feel, I purposely become the _safety person_ when it occurs to others. When someone cuts another off or talks over them and their eyes search for someone to hear, I will always be that person whose eyes will meet theirs - even if I don’t really care or know them. It is one of the worst feelings to feel like you’re a non-person & that is how it makes you feel.

My mother couldn't be bothered with my sister's death because the event couldn't be all about mother. Imagine a mother going to a hair appointment versus going to see her first born child who just woke from a coma. My sister, the one blamed for everything in our family, helped me to break free of our narcissist mother. Rock bottom, we hear it all the time, what does it take, well kids, death is not rock bottom for a narcissist.

A woman I called mother did it to me all my life. Not too long ago I couldn't tolerate her disrespect anymore.

8:27 "you are inherently wrong" ---so well put! You are wrong by being, just by being you, and merely existing alongside them.

Whenever my covert narc wife tries to cook I'll simply point out something basic so that it doesn't get ruined, in the moment. I've been cooking for and baking for 25 years and have been employed in kitchens and bakeries in the past. I know my way around the kitchen. Need a full Thanksgiving dinner from scratch? I can make it happen. My wife attempted to cook hot dogs and put the frying pan on the stove at full blast. I simply explained that the pan will be way too hot and that the hot dogs will burn as well as the pan and that medium or even medium low heat would be best. She knows NOTHING about cooking yet will still try to verbally explain why her way is better "I like it well done". I'd explain that burnt and well done are different things. She insisted with some nonsensical reasoning. It'd be like her trying to tell a meteorologist about why the weather will be a certain way. Anyway, our apartment building at the time had 12 units, a nice place, and nice smoke detectors. Four freaking fire trucks with a whole team of fully dressed fire fighters. The smoke alarms in the common areas were linked directly to the fire department and were automatically dispatched, all because she insisted that she knew how to cook hot dogs in a frying pan. For context, I've baked in that same kitchen and I've pan cooked steaks in that kitchen many times and never had the fire department dispatched, that's how bad those hotdogs were burnt. The pan was ruined. One of many, many idiotic and stubborn decisions I've witnessed.

I am 56 years old and no matter what I have done or how hard I try I could or can't make my dad proud of me. He doesn't like any gifts I may give him, he puts them down. I have stopped trying to make him proud, I have stopped trying to get any validation from him. I reached a point that I don't need it. I can be proud of myself and know that I did my best within my abilities. Reaching this point, I have to give God all the credit. My peace is more precious than needing validation from my dad.

When your mom or other people walks away and ignores you, like as if what u say is not important, how do cope and not let it bother you 😢?????!!!!

A person who calls herself a friend of mine often does point nr 1 to me. Just interrupts me when I start saying something about myself. And the worst thing she does is while I’m saying something she takes her phone and starts checking her Instagram or texting to someone 🙈

Thank you very much. Point 3, they don't only watch you do the mistakes, they lead you into it, sometimes turn a blind eye when they see something wrong, and mention it publicly so that everyone agrees with them that you're wrong. Meanwhile, it's them, always them due to jealousy. Thank you very much ❤

The narc demon did all 3 , i would speak and it would start talking to someone else at the same time , so now when that narc tries to talk i walk off or i start looking at my phone and watching skits, its gets an injury from that 😅, Gifts... i would buy that narc gifts and what danish said is 100% true, it had a look of disgrace on its face and acted like it didnt want the gifts, in the day i would ask if it liked them and it would say yes but... so i took back the gifts got my money back and i do not buy nothing for that demon, me and my children enjoy our birthdays and other occasions without that demon causing stress, we all ignore it sitting in the corner looking like a victim😅😅 I dont talk to it , i dont include it in our daily routines , i dont go anywhere with it, i see its begining to crumble its getting weaker! While i get stronger , never under estimate a powerful empath!

I put up with my son and his wife only to look at my grandkids. She has done her best to keep the kids from me

Being ungrateful is rude. If u receive a gift ur not fond of. Quietly send it back & get something g u like or want. It's ur gift, u can do what u want with it. He doesn't get to decide my likes & dislikes.

2nd point I experienced 1st as well So unfortunate to have dealt with narcissists my whole life. I believed the crocodile tears to be true realisation and got trapped very badly that it destroyed all aspects of my life. Never ever trust a crying female narcissist.

I have gone through everything that you mentioned, and I know and remember how painful and humiliating it was, they would say.... Didn't I deserve anything better.... more expensive.....God knows they did not deserve a thing... ❤

The cruel nickname because it is your initials

Woooow 😮 Thank you! That first point especially resonates for me. Gah! It's so frustrating to be suddenly ignored or interrupted like that. I think, "Were you ever listening? You said you wanted to get closer and yet I feel completely invisible now." 🙄 Thank you for your videos, Danish. They are very helpful and healing.

Covert mom had her doctor, family, neighbours, even her social worker (via adult protection) believing I had power of attorney, hhhmmm should that be taken as a sign? 🤔 Oh well, ward of the state now, see ya never Mom, locked up is locked up! 🙃

1# Whenever i used to talk to that narc or with other family member, she used to start yawning or laughing or changing topics and nobody give a shit about this derogatory behaviour of hers now I stop talking to anyone in family. Living alone in between them. 2# Everytime or anytime I have tried to do some good for her as a gesture of respect she always belittled me , made fun of me, Gaslighted me, demean me by saying couple of things. Untill few months ago, before I found about d whole new World of narcissism, I used to thought that this person is simply thankless nd evil. 3# that shallow laughing knowing that u r doing something wrong or forget something to take u, to belittle you was always there, I myself have faced this so many times and saw that narc person doing this with others also. So I think I can conclude that this narc in my life is covert narc, d most dangerous type of narcissist. I pray to God everyday to plz give me strength nd means to leave this place asap nd for forever. My mental health is only deteriorating here everyday, every second of time.

He kept me "seperate" from everyone while in public! Placing himself between me and all others. He could not stand anyone talking to me.

Many details in this,happend to me. Parents, ex hub , former in laws. Fake friends. I'm glad to be without most of them. My journey isn't over yet.. thank you danish

My daughter will not talk to me because I will not give her money. She is 53 years old and she thinks I owe money to her because she is my daughter.

I had an aunt adress me in a very curt and uncharacteristically dismissive manner, in front of other people at a function. I always saw her as a "salt of the earth, goody -two- shoes" type, if that makes sense. In the moment i would have experienced less shock and confusion if she had publically slapped me. I could not work through the cognitive dissonance whenever she behaved in this manner, but after twenty years i intuited that this was who she truly was. She excersised no accountability for her actions, she trivialized and gaslit, but i still feel guilty for walking away. This video also brings up a lot of subtle vibes i picked up at work over years. It is true, your body tells you the truth, your thoughts and emotions can lead you astray but your body does not.

Amazing! I have (now estranged) relatives who used to engage in the same ignoring behaviors. I also have a co-worker who does the same thing. Also, he has a strange habit of acting like he is in pain while doing it. He refers often to an old combat injury that he got many years ago. That is something that I must respect in the environment where I work. He uses it for manipulative purposes for sure, and to win favor with superiors who feel sorry for him and honor his service. I didn't know that such behaviors were actually part of a cluster. I thought that this was just an idiosyncrasy of his alone. Very informative insight, and helpful.

You really are a good healer. I’m getting into my power again. Thank you!

I tried anticipating my father's wants. It doesn't matter what I do, I'm wrong in his eyes. I'm just a big disabled burden with 2 kids. I grew up with my father as a narcissist & then had a daughter with another narcissist. Only to move back in with my father due to epilepsy..

This hit hard. I always internalized it all. I see it now.

My mother always acting nervous, when I want to tell her something. She cant never sit still. Alway looking at the clock acting as she is in a hurry.

Danish, you are such an empath, I’m so glad you broke the cycle of your narcissistic family! I so enjoy your informative videos. I can resonate with all of them and it helps me feel that I’m not alone. My feelings are warranted! Thank you and God bless✝️

This first point was very interesting! I have noticed this in a person I have suspected of being a narcissist. This is a really good indication!

Absolutely True 💯 Witnessed This Behavior

I have hundreds of these narcissistic people targeting me and they know exactly what they're doing but I know exactly what they're doing and I figured them out sooner than I thought so they also do play the victim game every single time. Also when I started to become more confident in my findings other games my family would start to get more strangely worse and so would hundreds of other people online and offline

I adored my partner of many years, I supported him every day with all manner of things. I walked out after realising I was there to cook clean. He would look past me if I spoke or even turn to his laptop. Don’t suffer this sort of abuse. I used to think ‘it’s just the way he is’ . No it’s not, he didn’t do it with other ppl. It’s made me cry thinking of it. Walk. You are so much better than this.

If someone told me on receiving a gift that they ‘didn’t like it and consult me first’ - I’d never give that person a gift again. That’s just plain rude. I’ve received many gifts I particularly don’t like and I’d never say that - I just regift that gift or donate it to a charity shop.

All that you said is correct when spotlight not in them or if you are calling them out. They try and distract them rage if you won’t let it go. They are sick

My husband's response no matter what the gift is, "It's okay". 😢

You're my favorite teacher. ❤ Thank you!

these people are NASTY .... still learning how to navigate myself through the bs

You feel their vibes, definitely

I have a friend that whenI talk she looks drowsy. I ask her if she is tired😂😂😂😂

Not sure I agree totally. My narcissist demands center stage attention and can go on about how terrifically smart they are, how they are just the greatest. I act like I'm listening but do not give them the praise they are demanding. I'm gray rocking and while that is the best thing to do, it is very draining. I'm not a narcissist for ignoring them.

I have had situations like what you described with giving gifts . It actually caused gift giving to give me stress and that is not how it should be. I noticed recently that I am getting better and feeling the cheer and joy again that should come with giving. I am not in close relationship anymore with those who wont receive from me and that has helped.

Ive had the very thing happened to me that you discribed about conversation. I had a friend that would get in-between me & whomever I was talking to & turn her back to me & start talking to the person. Changing the conversation. The person I was talking to was as surprised as myself. Very rude. Controling.

MY NARC HUSBAND HAS TOLD ME NUMEROUS TIMES, IN FRONT OF OTHERS, "WHY SHOULD I LISTEN TO ANYTHING YOU SAY...NOTHING YOU SAY IS IMPORTANT!" AND THIS GREAT ONE... "YOU'RE RIGHT, THE WHOLE WORLD DOES REVOLVE AROUND ME!"

And just like that, a 12 minute video on dealing with Covert Narcissism is summed up beautifully and precisely…it is a psychological death by a thousand cuts. My mother just turned 74 and is becoming more hateful, nasty, and spiteful by the hour.

Any time the covert narc I knew was caught in an uncomfortable situation, he would make this face 😬

My mom is a covert narc. Few days back, I was showing her the list of songs I sang. She heard them, but said that she doesn't hear anything properly, and she didn't even appreciate me or anything. She just said that tune voice is loud than your voice.

There doesn't have to be anyone in the room for the covert narcissist to show disrespect. He does it comfortably. You have been kind and respectful to him and he Will pull that at any time he feels like it. (think about how abusive and sick that is) That's why they are so bad for your health to begin with.

Thank you so much Danish for these videos. It's making me understand my problems in child hood with my mother. I could never understand why she was the way she was. Now I do understand even though she has passed, I miss her. But I realize now how she must have had a really bad childhood to become that mother she was.