Im 31 at home with my brother as my parents died close together. Spent too long with the wrong guy and now am single. This video gave me hope

Aussie living in Germany here. New sub. 🙂 I will be 40 soon and whilst my situation is different than yours, I do know several miserable women who have met those 'expectations' (marriage/house/kids) and still are not content or thankful. It is 100% perspective. Contentment is so important.

Hi Rae, I had to comment, listening to your story! Long story short, I was in the same spot as you! 32, having to move back in with my Dad, commuting 2 hours to work because of it. Feeling like I'd failed, and that my life choices had somehow led me to a point of failure. Drinking way too much alcohol, yada yada yada. People may see it as a 'feeling behind in life' choice, but actually, I think it's really brave of you to have reassessed when you were in the middle of all that drinking and partying and realise you wanted something else. So yeah, was 32, moved back in with my Dad, commuting to work for 2 hours....and just decided then and there that I was going to make it the best thing I'd ever done. I threw out all the expectations and got busy figuring out really what I wanted. I wanted financial stability to finally have freedom, I wanted kids (but only with a partner who would be an awesome dad) and I wanted a different career (I was a lawyer). Slowly but surely, I started putting one foot in front of the other. I paid off my car loan. I negotiated a loan from Dad and managed to save up for an apartment deposit on the worst shoddy apartment (but it was mine!). I set to work writing out a list of not what I was attracted to in a guy, but what I needed and how I wanted to be supported, and what I wanted to build in my life and whether he agreed with that vision, and then I set out searching for that guy. Very upfront, and ticking off green flags or observing red ones with each guy I dated. I'm turning 40 next month. I have an awesome relationship with a guy that I met who is honest, hardworking, loyal. Oh yeah, and he's a great Dad to the two little girls I have with him :) We travel often to our favourite places (Japan Summer 2024, here we come!) and a couple of years ago, I sold that apartment at a pretty fab profit. We now have multiple properties that we're paying off together...and I've begun building my KZfaq business. I'm no longer a lawyer...I do contract work for a company writing articles, good money and flexible work hours. And I work entirely from home, which I love. Point is, doesn't matter if my life is not what you want...but all I'm saying is that if you can use this time to get really clear on your biggest dreams and then start making moves towards them, you will absolutely get there. The options are not cut off from you at the ripe old age of 32, Rae! Don't regret things, but have the discipline to take control of your decisions from now on in. I could be the future you - telling you that right now, you could be making the best choice of your life in this time of 'getting clear and taking action'. I'm really grateful to my 32 year old self, tell you what! :)

53 single no children or pets and I take care of my elderly parents

Living with your parents when you are an adult is normal in majority of countries

Everyone's story is different. Never feel down or lesser. You are good enough at being you. It is impossible for everyone to be the same, and it would be boring either way. Cheers.

It is an awkward time but increasingly common. I went travelling in my late 20s and came back broke at 30, moved back in with the parents (help), couldn't find a decent job and considered bad things.

I was 33 when I finally met the one then 35 when I had my first child, there is honestly no set time for things to just suddenly fall into place, my advice is for people to live and enjoy their lives and you will always be on the right path.

I moved back home after a failed relationship. I lost my business too during the pandemic. It's been weird and it's probably not the most ideal situation for me, but I'm very grateful to my parents for providing me a safe space and support. I did at some point feel like a failure but I also knew that it's only temporary. I am now ready to be back on my feet 💪

So happy this appeared on my feed, a very much needed video. I personally think success is being content, being happy. People spend their entire lives chasing and planning and aiming for "success" because we believe that will make us happy, meanwhile days/ weeks/ years have been spent not living but looking into the distance believing happiness is somewhere over there, not here.

1 minute in and just had to pause to comment. This is so needed. Thank you so much. People don't talk about this. I'm 36, I have bought my own house but I am single, no kids and really lacking connection. I was sooo low these last few days. I can't see anything to look forward to. I should be married with kids but no thats not my life. I like my life but goodness its so lonely and I cant see myself meeting a partner. I'm holding out for something that's right but my last bf was sooo good and we had an amazing life, I can't see anyone matching that. I've also found the love of my life but he's not available. So no point looking for love because when u love someone all u want is them. I thought I would be married with 2 kids way before the age of 36 but no. To me to be successful now is to have communication, connection and ultimately being free but i havent achieved those yet. You are right, whatever makes u happy, do that. Amen to experiencing growth. Thanks for your vlog. It made me feel less alone.

I spent 5 years abroad in a stressful environment after an abusive relationship being heavily dysregulated. During the pandemic i came back home, moved back with my parents and brother. I got a remote job and started slowly healing, it was very needed for me to have this stability, steady social engagement and less admin, tbh. But now I want to move on as the family dynamics is incredibly toxic. And no one seems to give a damn. Life is hard, you know? In the ideal world we have people to support us, everyone is honest and life is fair. But life is not like that. The worst part is not that though, because we do have a lot of power to change things and problem solve. The worst part is no one actually tells us that, it's like people neglect problems and hope for the best. Just my experience, some random thoughts.

I am 39 and live with my parents in their House. Why should I live Alone? I am Alone with no boyfriend for years. I was Never Married, have no Children etc. so what.

Thank you for the encouragement! I’m going to be 39 and have been struggling with feeling like a failure. I’ll keep the idea in mind of writing down every good thing that I accomplish this year.

It's ok. I mean it is not our fault that houses are unaffordable... And I was 33 when I was depressed, with little savings, back home with my parents, unemployed, laid off due to covid depression and corporate mumbo jumbo, toxic jobs, toxic relationships. I was sick of it. I really thought I was worthless and good for nothing. With a law degree, good looks, good health, brains, a good heart, lots of skills... Yep... I thought I was the worthless one. I realised the only problem I had was low self esteem. It had caused me to accept all this as normal. I rebuilt my confidence and now I have my dream man, living in a nice apartment but looking at houses with my mr dreamy, planning to get pregnant, and been invited for 4 job interviews coming weeks. Wish me luck.

That's good wisdom. Many blessings back to you. Life just goes where it goes. Life can't let us down, but we can if we expect too much, too soon. If we can be grateful for the things we've experienced and learned then we've done awesome. The accomplishment list sounds like a good idea. It's easy to forget all of the little things we've finished.

In many cultures it's normal for us to stay with our parents, we have a very independent society but neither one or the other is right or wrong

Snap. 32, just me and mum. She can't afford to live alone, and I can't afford to live alone, so what is one to do...

We are the same age and in the same situation and also I don’t give a F. People try to put me down about how I’m going. I’m saying it… I don’t want what they want. I want a simple life.

I'm close to being 28 and I feel the same way. Thanks for this video. It's very motivating 👍

The way you said “it’s not about the destination it’s about the journaeee” made me cackle hahaha I love your sense of humour 🫶🏻 Thanks I really enjoyed what you had to share I know for some and myself included stuff like this goes a long way so it’s always good to stumble upon these beautiful messages it really does help. Anyway I just want to say keep up the great work. Also you’re really beautiful! 😄

I had to stop thinking I was a failure or far behind because I'm not on the same playing field as other people. I'm not even on the same game. My avatar has a whole different experience going on. People just have different desires and want to take different routes in life and not follow a blueprint or timeline. Some like me, don't really have a lot of options but are somehow graced by others to get by. Because to be honest, tomorrow is never promised. Omg, i stop and smell them roses 🌹

I think more people than you know are going through the same experience. You're not alone. And I also believe that some of us are meant to have completely alternative experiences of life; we aren't all going to fulfil this mainstream, popular criteria of steady relationship, property, career, children etc. That, for me, has never been appealing. I've never been ambitious. I've always valued agency of my time and freedom to move. I've also always been different. Relationships are not things that I take lightly. I'd rather be with the right person, or no one. I'm not into hookup culture. I've participated in it and it just seems pointless to me so I quit, and that was easy for me because my deeper morals are far more important. I live with my folks because I can't afford to move out and honestly having a base in the family home allows me my flexible, fluid, creative lifestyle. I have friends. I travel. I have a good job. But of course, there are things about my life that need to change and that I want to change...I'd love to travel more and more, to see the world, to fulfil the potential of my awareness, my body and mind. To have a true Life Time Experience; to discover ways of being that are not falling in line with what the herd tells me I should want, all that domesticated stuff. Would I trade my freedom for say 2 kids and a mortgage? No. NO. Use what you have to your advantage. Focus on LIVING; creating experiences that nourish and educate you and grow you. Value yourself for who you are and without meaning to sound abstract or "spiritual", embrace what your soul is here to encounter and to experience because you'll enjoy wonders and adventures and deep lessons that the others in the mainstream camp will not experience. I've met lovely people who have children who have expressed how much they envy my freedom... so the grass is always greener on the other side. The way that mainstream world works - its set up to control your mind and to make you feel insecure, whatever you do. We're legit in a climate that makes it difficult for young, single people to rent or to own property in the UK anyway. So I cast all that pressure to the wind and now embrace the imperfection, the so-called "failure", the insecurity and look forward to possibilities. It makes me less afraid to die and more curious about my potential.

You're a great story teller, this is the first video of yours that popped up in my recommendations. I happen to be in the same boat, except I live with my boyfriend who's my financial caretaker until I can be healthy enough to work. I have autism and ADHD and it made me feel very behind in life compared to my peers. Comparison doesn't start there though, it starts with expectations you set for your future self, like you said. There's also nothing wrong with having them. There's nothing wrong with wanting something other people have. These feelings have a function. Ultimately, we just want to succeed in society and we want the stability to allow that. We don't want one set back to decide the trajectory of our lives. We all want social/financial safety nets to make inevitable financial mistakes. I don't judge ANYONE who doesn't have that and makes the same mistakes as people who do. That is not failure of the individual. It's a systemic failure. It's a political failure and there are people in power quietly ruling our lives while we keep blaming ourselves. Also, you should consider cutting your videos more and getting to the meat of the content faster, just a viewer tip!

YOU ARE AMAZING THANKYOU IM SITTING DOWN HAVING MY COFFEE AND I HAD TO MOVE BACK HOME WITH MY MOTHER AT 54!!!!!!!OH MY GOOD GOD BUT IM VERY GRATEFUL BECAUSE I WAS LIVING WITH MY BOYFRIEND AND HE HAD A FIRE IN HIS BUILDING WE HAD TO EVACUATE WAS HORRIBLE WAS SCREAMING RUNNING OUT WITH MY DADS ANGEL AND AN IMAGE OF SACRED HEART OF JESUS THAT THEY ALWAYS PROTECT ME AND WE WERE ALL SAVED BUT I WAS THINKING OH GOD I AM SO GRATEFUL TO YOU BUT WAS FEELING SO UGLY BECAUSE I HAVE NO BANK ACCOUNT AND I HAD TO GO BACKWARDS FELT LIKE IN MY LIFE SO EMBARRASSING EVERYTHING YOU SAID I HAVE FELT THANKYOU FOR HELPING ME TODAY JUST WITH YOUR VIDEO AMEN GODBLESS YOU

We are good enough !

The ironic thing is, there will be people who look at others who they deem to be 'successful' but the person they are looking at doesn't feel successful in life, or wants more (afterall, it's the human condition to want more!) and you won't know that even though they have this, that or the other, they still aren't happy. It's very true that everything passes, the good and the bad and it is all about mindset and how you deal with what life throws at you which in turn decides how you overcome its challenges. It's great that you've had such a fantastic time travelling: There will be many people who envy you for that and it would have made you grow as a person which is wonderful. It's great that you have family you can live with, many people don't and will envy you for that. Many people will envy you for being the age you are. It's all about perspective. We have power we don't even realise we have and what we need to do is learn to use it before the clock runs out. I would also say that you are very wise to know this in your early 30's and there are be people who will never have such wisdom on this subject, so that's another string to your bow. Comparison really is the route to unhappiness and social media is presenting people with an image of fast cars, unrealistic beauty etc which isn't what's going to make everyone happy. Spending time with friends laughing is far more realistic and better fun. It's lovely to have a fast car but you have to insure it, make sure it doesn't get damaged etc.... Plenty of hidden taxes in being the Instagram ideal of 'happiness'. Great video, look forward to watching more. :)

Connecting with people and connecting people with one another. Proud of you xx

I don't write down things but I take a lot of pictures and looking back at them I realize how many highlights there were in a year. Be it just some new cake I baked or pictures from a walk I took and I recall that I felt happy and was at peace that day.

This really was grounding for me to hear, thank you. your perspective is gold

Really nice video!!! Very optimistic and interesting. I love you approach to life 😊 I wish more people were thinking this way. I will definitely try;) Greetings from South Wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

It’s tough out there…I’m in my thirties as well… 😢

I needed this video, thank you!

Dude, I loved this Rae! I have no idea how I got here.......BUT Subbed!!

Really love your honesty ❤

Loved this video. Thank you 🙏

I've gone through a few rough times in my life, actually had to learn how to walk again. Twice. Once while going through a divorce. For anyone in a rough spot there is one thing that helped me and that is having a goal. Doesn't matter what it is! Just have a goal, if it's to shower every day or to take the rubbish out every week or even to take 10 more steps than yesterday. Start small and work your way up from there. It's ok to fail your goal from time to time but keep working towards it and that can be your own success story. Side note, Australia represent! Oi oi oi!

lovely truth. you are lovely. God bless you. love you :) you're great.

Hi dear 💕 lots of love ❤ you are just like our sister. Thanks for making this video 🎥 I'm turning 30 🎂 tomorrow I wish I never made those mistakes in my 20s I always seeked for validation outside. I always gave gave and gave but in return got betrayed and hurt 💔 suffered a lot. But imt hopefully now working towards my goal this year 🎉 is the best year for me I trust universe 🌌 and I'm thankful 🙏 to God for making me so strong 💪..

I expected to have the same life as the status quo until I realised I am different and do not fit in a square peg. Hello from Australia, just found your channel.

Thank God, I was able to buy my own house and my own land and not live with any family

😇🙏✨

Rae 💙

Am sorry what? You are hot, intelligent, confident - how are you behind? I'm mean we are all human on a planet.