4 Signs Your Marriage is Over and Not Worth Fighting For

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4 Signs Your Marriage is Over and Not Worth Fighting For

Рет қаралды 65,495

Күн бұрын

Are you in an unhappy or potentially toxic marriage? Are you trying to decide whether to fight for it or just let go? In this video, I'm going to talk about 4 specific signs that your marriage may be over.
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00:00 WELCOME
01:38 CRITICISM
02:54 CONTEMPT
03:49 DEFENSIVENESS
05:33 STONEWALLING
Or Signs Your Marriage is Toxic
signs your marriage is over and not worth fighting for
Should I Fight For My Marriage or Let Go?
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We are Happily Committed. We are love and relationship coaches and our mission is to help you make your relationship great. We have tons of free videos on our KZfaq channel at your disposal. You can also find free articles, programs, and toolkits on our website: happilycommitt... #marriageadvice #relationshipadvice #relationshipcoach

Пікірлер: 93

@kurtvonderahe2128 8 ай бұрын

Same way here! Last 13 years or more no sex , sleeping separately not attracted to one another anymore! Guess it’s time to leave her!

@RiverSprite30 Жыл бұрын

I would give anything to be who I was BEFORE I met my husband. Everything is gone for me now. :-( And there is no tomorrow. My marriage hit all 4 of these signs LONG ago. But I'm stuck. And without any foreseeable change in my future. I hate my life. And it's getting to the point that daily activities are becoming difficult for me, as I am so isolated and buried in my depression from the broken marriage I'm stuck in with a sociopathic husband.

@carlacostamagna Жыл бұрын

It breaks my heart to read this. I feel the same way as you... even as I write these words, trying to find a way to do something about my situation, my husband is texting me horrible things. Like an insane person... going from "you are a user, a whore.. go show your tits to your coworkers...etc" straight to "I love you..I want you, why don't you love me anymore..., then again user, bitch" I feel like I'm about to fall into an abyss. I have 2 young children and I'm economically unstable. I'm terrified of what he could do if I really tried to leave. How can we help each other? Is there a way we can support one another and give each other strength? or at least seek someone who can help? The irony of it all is that I'm a wedding planner...(ha!) i also have the shame of that. Do you have kids? Is there anything I can do to help or support you emotionally? Please be strong and maybe we can find a way out together

@brianten-in2zw 9 ай бұрын

my soon to be ex wife likes to walk around and complain about how her life sucks and how she hates it. All because our once wealthy life hit a bump and she couldn't spend money like she did. Of course it's all my fault. No sex life, sleeping in seperate bedrooms etc. Are you sure it's all his problem? are you there to support him? are you there to love him? do you know what problems he is facing at work etc. when he comes home do you give him a sanctuary where he can come home and relax or do you present him with all the problems at home and dump on him? then wonder why he is now acting out. Are you adding to the battles and wars he fights away from home for you and your kids? do you rub his neck and shoulders? etc. etc. etc. We men are easy creatures to please. Are you there to fight with him or to add to his battles?

@UL11111 7 ай бұрын

We should ask your husband his story babe!!!!!

@michaelparks5669 2 ай бұрын

1. Critisism 2. Contempt lack of respect for the other person. 3. defensiveness. 4 stonewalling i.e. emotionally disconnected.

@angelogiovannimeneghetti9377 3 ай бұрын

It is difficult, maybe you miss whom youn left but as you leave IMMEDIATELY you feel FREEEE. When the chapter is over turn the page and start YOUR OWN LIFE. Better alone than with the wrong person.

@amyasche6816 Жыл бұрын

We live more like roommates. I’m not in love with him

@Chris-ou6of Жыл бұрын

I am there we are roomates in my toic relationship I am sad.

@sonicleaves 10 ай бұрын

Same, I know the feeling.

@AkashSingh-xd2qn 8 ай бұрын

Samme😢

@That1_89 Жыл бұрын

Im pretty sure my marriage is over. We are bitter and resentful towards each other. One minute he treats me ok. Will talk to me like his friend, next minute Im a horrible ghost. He doesn't want to share his feelings and stonewalls me.he is critical of me and ignores my feelings. He blames me for literally everything.

@Plans4YouJer2911 7 ай бұрын

Yes Get it She acted towards me like your man did towards you No longer together From our very first date till divorce papers signed Nine years How sad Not what I wanted Told me she never should have married me

@sandydremmel1506 7 ай бұрын

You are not alone, girl. I am in the situation just like you described. I am in the process of divorcing him after 26 years of marriage.

@drumsnbass Жыл бұрын

The first sign my marriage was over was when my wife cheated when the kids were still very young. I fought thru it because I loved bet, but even more, didn’t want to see my kids lives destroyed by her. 21 years after that time, it all ended by her choice. She was always selfish. But realistically it died a long long time ago.

@kalkeikuu 2 жыл бұрын

I married a pathological liar; i gave him so many chances, yet 30 yrs later he still is s bullshitter and i feel so old, threw away my youth on a person like this. I don’t know what to do anymore.

@lukebarrett2317 Жыл бұрын

For me my life was a huge mess during the times my wife and I divorced. Although we’re back together now even stronger ❤️. I had to use a prayer that I found in one comment here on KZfaq & It worked like magic !!

@CherylSlane-lh2cy Жыл бұрын

Yup

@zaraa1988 Жыл бұрын

I was hopeful until i saw this video :( My husband is about to file for divorce but he has already checked out and took his wedding ring off. We sleep in separate rooms and he is very defensive and angry. He rubs it off my face that we're over and i'm nothing to him and that I should leave our apartment as soon as possible. I have to admit that i did all the worst kind of disrespect and i stepped on his ego more than i can count and it killed him over and over Now i'm so heartbroken and lost. I feel hopeless. It's very dark here

@normdickson2438 3 ай бұрын

My wife and me are having a hard time right now. I was trying to tell her that when one of each other need to lean on each other that’s what we’re there for she looked at me and screamed look at you you can barely stand up on your own. I’m disabled man with a severely bad and suffer from PTSD. My wife’s anger and hatred for me has hurt me. I’ve asked her to leave and she says this is my house but yet she won’t pay for anything, certainly get a job to help she will. I caught her at casino in the US. We live in Canada as the front desk to give me a room because she wouldn’t answer her phone all night long a man picked up the phone and didn’t recognize my name said I had the wrong room so I asked for my wife’s maiden name and he says yeah why because she’s my wife says wait a minute I’ll wake her up next thing you know my phone rings and it’s my wife she said yeah what’s up? This is your fault. It’s your fault. She tried to blame me. She’s home again and still making me hurt. I’m stuck out in my garage by myself for three days now no food just coffee. I don’t know how many more days I have left in meI believe a demon is possessed my wife

@sandydremmel1506 7 ай бұрын

My marriage life had all four issues that you mentioned. Thank you

@antoniomaldonado8234 Жыл бұрын

I’m still trying I still want to not believe anyone’s marriage is over their is always hope to fix it

@lotuseyedstudios Жыл бұрын

That's called denial.

@silentscreams2842 Жыл бұрын

All the things you said describe me and my marriage. My spouse compulsive cheats and I've grown tired of it. Finding a place to rent with my income is very hard in my area, lot of them are being sold.

@MrWilliamx3 Жыл бұрын

i heard you. going through the same thing

@julesa245 Жыл бұрын

Thank you Danny. I’d love to be able to get more advice from you but financially even though I have a professional job I just can’t afford it. Today I intend to end my relationship/ marriage and I feel dreadful. He’s a good man, there’s no third parties involved but I can’t stand this life any more. I’m 46 and I’ve been living a lonely life for 10 years. I feel I deserve to be happy. I’m just existing. My friends/ colleagues and mother are supportive and knowledgable of my intentions now but I feel sick all the time. I don’t know how to start the conversation with him. 7:36 . Your advice has helped me though. Thanks. Julia x 🇬🇧

@RS-rh9kp 9 ай бұрын

May I humbly ask for an update? I'm in a similar situation

@elainecaraballo6995 2 ай бұрын

I love my husband but I don’t have the desire or attraction anymore. We don’t communicate anymore. We put each other down all the time specially when he doesn’t get his way I think about leaving financially I cannot afford it. we been together 42 years

@illbearound7638 10 ай бұрын

My husband dropped dead a couple of years ago. Took care of him for years after finding out he was gay. Follow ur intuition. Don’t give away ur power or stay w a bully. Good luck 🍀

@scarlet780 4 ай бұрын

After hearing this I realised my marriage has come to an end my tears come out from my eyes and I said to myself is this really the end of my marriage..........

@amyasche6816 Жыл бұрын

I also feel we have grown apart. Or at least I have.

@iTz_x_IVIrkeith Жыл бұрын

I honestly feel like my marriage has hit a point to where it needs to end . I feel disrespected by my wife she doesn’t do anything she doesn’t pay the bills or try to help me pay the bills she lays around all day nonstop complains and criticizes me on how I do things and then she argues with me about stupid crap and like this past Christmas leaving my parents she has a massive argument with me which ruined my Christmas for the third year in a row. Also everything is hers not ours and if I help her do anything she takes all the credit I never get any credit. And she always refers to her parents about everything and if I say anything to her she always listens to someone else besides me

@CherylSlane-lh2cy Жыл бұрын

Wow

@jaxpharmacy415 Жыл бұрын

Damn...i read this and asked myself "holy shit when did I write this?" ....i can relate to this far too well...

@dottiEpre Жыл бұрын

I wish I could speak to your wife to ask her why she does those things

@ItaHayes 7 ай бұрын

Dr Armani - Narcissism masterclass

@Toni-ke5pg 3 ай бұрын

I am so sorry I'm going thru the same u r not alone ❤

@southerngirl1960 11 ай бұрын

I AM AN BLACK AFRICAN WOMAN... MY MARRIAGE WAS OVER BEFORE I LISTEN TO THIS... WE BOTH WAS IN DENIAL...I THINK THAT WE GOT MARRIED FOR SEX... AND THAT WAS FUN THE NIGHT BEFORE THE WEDDING... AND NOW OUT OF 38 YEARS... FIRST 10 YEARS WAS TOUCH AND GO CONNECTION... AND ABOUT 28 YEARS WE ARE ROOMMATES... ITS AN EXTRA BED ROOM WITH A COMPLETE RESTROOM.. IN MY HOUSE THAT WAS MY DRESSING ROOM aka SHE SHED... IS NOW MY BEDROOM... AND I AM HAPPY WHEN I'M IN IT... WE CROSS PATHS IN THE KITCHEN... I HAVE LEARNED THAT LOVE OR SEX DON'T KEEP A MARRIAGE... I AM NOT LOOKING FOR ANYONE ELSE... A LEARNED BEHAVIOR IS MY FREEDOM...

@fishstickbio594 Жыл бұрын

What are the NO in staying in a marriage …..DV …sex outside the marriage , any addiction, mental health problems, job problem . Screaming and shouting counts as emotional abuse .

@Jaaammmbbbooo Жыл бұрын

I have renovated 2 houses for my wife and kids. I am not rich. Evenings, weekends and time off i spent doing up the houses. I do everything for them all. Everything i do, there is ALWAYS something which isnt good enough. She doesnt work, she is a stay at home mother. I work full time, i am a great hands on father (i cook, clean, change nappies, bathe them all, take them groups) although she is a great hands on mother too. She screams and shouts at me almost on a daily basis, calls me names CONSTANTLY and i cannot shout her down or anything. Occasionally i will have to grab her wrist to stop her but it is VERY rare. I have a sigma laid back attitude to most things but when she starts screaming at me over NOTHING, i loose the will to live. I know i shouldnt grab her but it is out of frustration. I have never struck her and would never and if i do grab her it is controlled, never with 'aggression', sounds like im making excuses but this is just facts. What should i do?!?

@mdillon4311 Жыл бұрын

So sorry to hear of your story! Its horrifying to hear a woman can be that mean. Was she always like that when you firat met her? How did you decide she was right for you? It seems she needs mental health especially not valueing your good points as a husband.

@yahwehisontheway5094 7 ай бұрын

What do you mean by "I have a sigma laid back attitude about most things? Do you mean you tend to brush a lot of things off? Do you consider yourself to be masculine, like you'd defend her honor if someone was disrespectful to her? Would you do anything to protect her ?

@tamekkaknuth9612 Жыл бұрын

Got rid on one end; the other is exact same as first

@DatGuy960 3 ай бұрын

Boy, this sounds like you described the last 15 years of my marriage! I nearly walked away then(15 yrs ago) and have done all I could think of, including spending over 400k moving to Florida so we could be closer to her 'Friends', who no longer speak to her. Even though I am still married it seems as though I have nothing more than a mean, critical roommate that has here own bank account and our bills come out of a separate joint account. Money has never been an object, for me, so that is not part of the issue. I've went so far as to contact a divorce lawyer and get things ready to go should that be needed. I really don't know where to go from here.

@unwrangler11 Жыл бұрын

Great information, thanks.

@333teppie Жыл бұрын

you hit the nail on the Head !!

@jenlugo17 Жыл бұрын

My marriage is reaching its end.. my husband won't leave. He was very selfish and lazy. Was to the point if I didn't cook him breakfast I was Satan. He was so dependant on me it felt like I was his mom and not his wife. I partially blame his mom for never loving him...

@cmsconcerts4179 Жыл бұрын

WHAT DO YOU BLAME YOURSELF FOR OR WHAT BLAME DO YOU PLACE ON YOURSELF??

@doreenwilliams2018 9 ай бұрын

I'm sure you didn't went to bed and wake up the next morning a married woman. That's why courtship is important you have all the time in the world to get to know each other so don't blame him alone blame yourself too

@Plans4YouJer2911 9 ай бұрын

Double edged sword She did the first three regularly and a little bit of the fourth Because of the first three from her regularly, I ended up not talking Would try to talk and share as level voiced as possible Tried to remain objective Felt that no matter what I said, she would take the good, bad, ugly and filter thru her line of thinking for future ammo A year ago she just up and says no more sex Now she wants a divorce She wanted counseling and I was like "You really want to share all the dirty laundry about me, and then I dump about you and your not as great as you think you are" She does not get it 😢😢😢

@giovannip.1433 2 жыл бұрын

For men Intimacy is essential for bonding.

@HappilyCommitted 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks Giovanni for the post! Thanks Coach Danny

@TheSeedsower107 Жыл бұрын

It is the same for women only on an emotional level. If her man won't talk to her or confide in her she cannot bond to him and she will not trust him.

@RiverSprite30 Жыл бұрын

Is that how the "Bro-job" was created?

@ntmn8444 7 ай бұрын

@@TheSeedsower107 exactly. Because only the man and his needs are important.

@BriavelsVic-pu9xf 3 ай бұрын

I need help is like you are talking to me I didn't no what to do

@minusmartin2 3 ай бұрын

we arent married yet, but have a toddler together and live together. we are happy in general, but unfortunately all of these 4 signs are there with her. I am the bad guy no matter what, i feel defeated, i try to give advise or even put some thoughts of what i could do better and she cant admit she needs work as well. she gets defensive at a whim. criticizes me, and i attempt to avoid conflict until she keeps prying and saying the magic words. once i finally react, she pulls the victim card. we are at a point where we stonewall eachother and i focus on our son and my general happiness and well being. big ol sigh.

@susansullivan3463 3 ай бұрын

ABSOLUTELY MY MARRIAGE

@CherylSlane-lh2cy Жыл бұрын

What do you say to someone who says one minute your going to be with them, and leave the child and wife the next minute for hours on end. You have no idea where they went or what they’re doing.

@lcam9241 8 ай бұрын

?? You are a mistress?? Please get a life.

@sheilataylor4141 9 ай бұрын

My marriage is also reaching its end …. My whole marriage has been hell he cheated , left me on holidays , and now living in a whole different state with friends also can’t listen to how I feel he’s so self - centered and selfish

@HappilyCommitted 9 ай бұрын

We're so sorry to hear about this!

@georgeblackwell4670 2 ай бұрын

I’ll never get married again in my life! It’s wack! I got played from the beginning by my wife! Now I’m stuck with 2 kids with her… that’s all she wanted from the start! I’m so pissed

@bradleyblauvelt1572 Жыл бұрын

My wife got the woke virus and then she was full of contempt because of her wokeness. Now she’s ex

@talishajordan5694 Жыл бұрын

How can u tell your spouse not giving u ur attention at home or more involved at work etc..?

@lalangojoanndoo2905 2 жыл бұрын

Great one coach danny

@HappilyCommitted 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much!

@charlottedurham3331 2 жыл бұрын

I have a question. What it all of these resonate in the relationship, however one partner will make an attempt to connect after months of being disconnected and physically separated and always go on the path of speaking on missing the good or better times of the past but never bringing up the issues at hand. Namely one feeling that nothing can be shared because the other will eventually throw up in heated disagreements and arguments even if it has nothing to do with the disagreements or arguments in the moment. It is always hurtful, degrading and is no longer being tolerated, as the reason for the separation, among other things. What do you call a person with these character traits?

@HappilyCommitted 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you Charlotte, We would love to help you, please consider booking a 1:1 session to have the personalized help! Thanks Coach Danny

@stellastar2083 2 жыл бұрын

So my husband has not seen us for 1 year and before that he had stayed away for 2 years. He never calls or talks to me except about the kids. He has refused to discuss the issues we have in this marriage. He is dating other women. To me the marriage has been over for 3 years. He refuses to file for divorce because he does not want to pay child support. My spiritual Pastor has confirmed that we are no longer in marriage spiritually. So will it be ok for me to start dating ? I have done work on myself to heal from this and infact i have released him from my life.

@HappilyCommitted 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you Stella for the information and feedback. Although we always encourage our clients and partners to put in the work and strive to rebuild the relationship, we also understand and have our clients evaluate when a limit is reached. It appears you have tried every avenue and have reached your limit, which now it is time to focus on yourself and your growth. In the end it is totally up to you when you are ready to begin dating and seeing other people, however when the other partner is not willing to change or even consider the relationship, there comes a time when you have to also move forward in your personal journey. Thanks Coach Danny

@wm9669 Жыл бұрын

You can file for divorce and get a lawyer. Wish you all the best

@LTTang 2 жыл бұрын

My situation is what you presented, at least the first three.

@DianSamYakili 10 ай бұрын

I love him so much but he is telling me that he doesn't love me so what can I do to get him back

@joederocco9321 8 ай бұрын

you dont

@crystalpaterick4835 Жыл бұрын

I need extra support

@HappilyCommitted Жыл бұрын

We would love to help you! Check out all of our services on our website here: happilycommitted.com/coaching/ -HC Team

@ursulamartinez2052 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you

@TheMegaJKfilms Жыл бұрын

I have all 4 do we have a chance?

@Plans4YouJer2911 7 ай бұрын

Not if they don't want to Can't be both ways Mine was this Both self-employed Both had money 💰 Lived in separate states about 4 hours apart I did 90% of the driving and traveling End result Road has to go both ways Phone calls 📞 go both ways Texting goes both ways She did what she wanted according to the mood or the moment In last 4 years, she came to my place only 4 times for short 2 - 4 day visits Yet in the winter time when it was slow in my work, I might be there for 1 - 4 months 🤔

@witchhazel7451 3 ай бұрын

My spouse did the bait and switch. My marriage was dead 7 years ago. All the signs you’ve mentioned were and are there. He started the relationship and marriage on lies and told me he did not have kids. I found out he has three children from his estranged sister and did not know that I was paying his child support. He has mistreated me emotionally and mentally and now I am toxic towards him. Let alone he has neglected me from the day of the wedding night. I am in a nightmare and I simply hate him.

@marcelapicadootoya9509 8 ай бұрын

Yes I have to walk away when I want to talk he tells shut the f……😢 called me a lot of times native and makes me feel small I am done even the we just buy a house 😢 I rather live in 4 walls free of mental abuse , I sadly married a narcissist time for me to go

@dottiEpre Жыл бұрын

3/4

@cbq6286 2 жыл бұрын

4/4

@georgevue8175 Жыл бұрын

For me dating women is a blast, spinning plates offered variety & spectacular sex. Marriage was also great but only for 5 years, after that each wife got bored & ran off with another dude. Conclusion: I wish I never married & stuck to dating.