6 ways to tell she's toxic: 1. Blameshifting, inability to take accountability for her toxic actions and behavior. 2. They play power games. Communicates insecurity and immaturity. 3. Achievement becomes competition. Doesn't encourage you, support you, genuinely celebrate your wins with you. 4. Excessive envy and jealousy. Constantly mistrusting you (projecting her own untrustworthiness), violating your boundaries. 5. She's controlling. She's controlling of people, situations, the information you're allowed access to, and even people's perceptions of you after you break up (smear campaign, character assassination). 6. Uses you for money, is non-reciprocal with money as well as effort, validation, honesty, etc. A personal note: I experienced all of the above and more from my toxic ex, who is a professional therapist. Don't blindly believe appearances, or credentials. People in any profession can be toxic. Believe their behavior. Covert narcissists and psychopaths can be especially adept at manipulating perceptions by controlling information and constructing appearances. They get their needs met through deceit and trickery rather than authenticity and actually earning it. Imagine getting treated like this and then further being sh*t on afterwards by her calling you creepy and cringy and her leaving the relationship feeling superior to you. The only solution to these toxic people (women and men alike) is to distance yourself from them and find someone worthy of your love and kindness and who actually adds to your inner peace.

“What you allow is what will continue.” That said it all for any relationship.

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

1. Love-bomb stage 2. Anchored (ex. kids) 3. Toxic behaviors start 4. Gaslighting to keep you or get you back. 5. Either leave or this Narcissist Cycle continues. I’ve been dealing with the worst for 8 years. I’ve filed divorce 2 times and ended both to “reconcile” and once she gaslit me to come back it started all over again. Take my word men. Just leave and don’t look back!

I don't see myself getting a girlfriend any time soon, but it's always nice to listen to positive and healthy-minded women like you, and even get good advice.

Ha! My ex scored a perfect 6/6. It’s amazing how much toxicity you subconsciously overlook in another person because you’re blinded by love. Thank you Courtney, have a great day!

Being a drama queen is enough reason to end the relationship.

Lot of broken human beings walking around. Even more toxic ones.

Here are some extra ones 7) she insults you and attacks you when she is upset with you. Not able to control her emotions and justifies her mistakes. 8) she tries to separate you from family and friends. 9) she is manipulative of you and situations. 10) she neglects you and doesn’t show you love. At some point it crosses the line from to toxic over to abuse. If you find yourself in love with an abusive women, cut it off and move on. Find healing and find someone who will value you.

The best thing a man can do is be ready to let any girl go when it’s necessary. I’ve seen way too many of my boys stick around and put up with lot of emotional manipulation and abuse. Just because a girl is very attractive on the outside they think they can’t do better. No girl is worth your peace of mind. Being willing to walk away ironically makes it less likely you’ll have to since you’ll actually be able to set healthy boundaries.

Have been in love with a lady who was so toxic for me and has hurt me numerous times over the last 4 years. Tomorrow is the last day I am ever going to speak to her. Wish me luck

I’ve just ended a relationship with my girlfriend due to all of the things that you mentioned. It has completely damaged my mental health and to the point that I’ve made the decision to steer clear of getting involved with another woman for a long while. Great video!! Thank you 🙏🏻

My GF broke up with me about 7 weeks ago and she displayed all of these traits, was with her 3 years, I went to great lengths to help her thro those years with every aspect of life for her to blame me for the relationship ending. Never again will I deal with that crap

Most guys know these toxic signs but they ignore them.

Cheating in a relationship is an unforgivable betrayal of trust that can not be remedied, at least for me. There is no excuse for it and, again for me, marks your character as a person as flawed beyond redemption, in the regards to a relationship; thanks to alomd genius for saving me from that bloody cheater..

"She never takes accountability." So basically every woman ever.

I had a ex-girlfriend who was competitive, jealous, and controlling. She was horrible. I'm glad I broke up with her and moved on. She was attractive and that''s all she had going for her.

Hands down the biggest red flag is when they associate being dramatic and confrontational as a form of affection. If she WANTS you to get into bar fights with random dudes over her instead of talking things out like a gentleman, GTFO IMMEDIATELY

Hits the nail on the head. I actually went through counciling because I thought I was the problem. Come to find out from my councillor I wasn't the problem, she was. This video is 100% accurate and things to run from.

Just went through a breakup about a month and a half ago, and she exemplified a few of these points. Past traumas, unnecessary jealousy, and controlling.

I never dated a toxic woman but my brother has. When they broke up, she sent 20 really nasty text messages to my brother. I lost all respect for her. I'm glad my brother is out of that relationship.

Toxic people never change in my experience

This is so true. There are so many women like this, they simply never became women, they stopped developing at an early age emotionally. Thank you so much for validating what I already knew. God bless you.

It happens all the time. Toxic is the new norm & worn as a badge of honor, especially in social media. Yesterday, I saw a woman sporting a top saying " "Proud Bitch" & her toddler daughter wearing a top "Future Bitch." with people huddled around her stroller commenting how cute that was. I guess she got her validation?

I recently got my self esteem absolutely destroyed. She projected her insecurities on me and blamed me for things I never did or have done in my life, while trying to hold me accountable. The worst thing is I kept apologizing in the hopes she wouldn't leave, because I thought I'd never find such a perfect match again. I guess this was the "lovebombing" or "mimicking" phase. In the end she just wanted to feel validated, most likely due to a previous toxic relationship. It took me many months to stop internalizing blame, and I still can't let a woman in my life, even when a few times beautiful women were hitting on me. My brain has gotten over internalizing blame, but the trauma is still there. I hope you continue what you are doing, it helps a lot.

I was in a toxic relationship for 10 months and this girl is exactly right on point listen to her!!!

First time listening to you and this was so worthwhile. I filed for divorce 8 months ago and 5/6 of your points I was subjected too. What finally ended it for me was the lack of loyalty she showed. She never had my back. Used condescending language toward me in front of friends. Of course the last 8 months have been perfect. But I know it is just manipulation trying to reel me back in to her web of dysfunction

One of my exes ticked all these boxes. She had been abused by her dad, and her mom told her she was Queen/Princess/Perfect so that led to narcissism. She became cruel and Machiavellian, like a super-villain in her manipulations. Fortunately my work paid for 5 weeks of counselling to resolve the issues post breakup.

I would also like to give advice from my experience. If there is a "voice" in your head telling you that your relationship isn't gonna work you should probably listen to it. It really doesn't help being around someone you don't feel comfortable with no matter how nice they are or how good they look.

I'm glad I went no contact with my ex! I valued myself too much to stick around and put up with her manipulative BS!! I started learning about cluster B personality disorders a month before walking away from her. And started to see more & more red flags hoping that she wasn't a narc or a borderline, but she was a borderline with a lot of narcissistic traits. When I accepted that she would never change no matter what I did. So I just ghosted her. It was one of the best things I've done for myself!

I was under control for one year while I never left her alone, since that I decided myself to keep waiting until the right one deserves myself as his equal and respectful partner, I’m not in the rush and refused many bossy good looking girls .. I need a normal brave loyal lovely woman. It’s a kind of mission impossible but never know

Personally, I am no longer interested in a relationship right now. I am only 22 years old. I think its best for us guys to simply just focus on career and hit the gym constantly (this goes out to guys who are seeking relationships in their early 20s). This will bring a much better ROI in the long term as opposed to staying in toxic relationships and wasting time in unhealthy relationships where everything is one-sided. Now I am not against having a relationship but it is very difficult to date/ find the right person these days. God will eventually send the right person at some point.

I wish had this video back in the day. I think a part of the reason I don’t really date is because I don’t really trust myself to end the relationship or properly stand up for myself once I’m attached. I don’t think Amber became toxic until after they were married.

Two independent councilors told me after 1st appointment, as broken as she is, she can't be fixed. She tricked all through the breakup process and did everything to destroy me in every way, including getting full custody to then teach my(our) kids narcissistic behaviors. Really sad. All I want was to raise my kids in a healthy manor. Had no idea how someone can "love" me and then wind up trying to kill me. True stuff. My kids think I'm the broken one.

I was so blinded by all you've said by this woman that it destroyed our marriage 😢. I did see the red flags and ignored them all and now reaping from what I sowed.

My woman is the complete opposite of this. I'm so glad I'm in my early twenties and found Mrs. Right so early in life. Cheers to many more, my love. Thank you, Courtney.

If she plays games with you (not the fun kind), she’s toxic!

I dated a female narcissist for more than three years, and she easily scores 6/6 on this list. This list only scratches the surface of how psychologically damaging different toxic behaviours can be in an unhealthy relationship. I would spare this experience for many, so I suggest we keep learning and take seriously those signs. Don't compromise. You are worth more than that.

My ex had major toxic behaviour concerning nummer 1,3 and 5 plus being verbally abusive and kept physical intimacy locked away unless I was able to fully accommodate her. I fired her ass 2 months ago and have never been happier. I'd rather be single the rest of my life than deal with such high maintenance nudging behavior!

I've been single for 5yrs now after a tough break up & was finally open to dating again but I found myself encountering a toxic girl. I didn't see it at first because after her affection I was hooked & was blinded. I found myself trying to help her & eventually becoming a simp. The lesson I learned was be cautious of who I bring into my life & leave ASAP if I notice any toxic behavior. Thank you Courtney for this video.

if she's playing games, that's reason enough to leave her.. even if you love her as hard as it may sound, you gotta distance yourself from her, cuz that shit will end up eating you alive. stay strong and always remember there's someone put on this earth for you, you just gotta look and see 🙏🏾

Unfortunately my wife is toxic. But we have a 14yr and a 6yr old. She thinks she knows everything and can never be in the wrong or apologize. The funny think is though my kids always pick me over her in every situation 😊

I dated a woman many years ago who was cheated upon and she basically said all men cheat, and one time she was so convinced about me cheating that she came over, demanded my cell phone and proceeded to use software to recover deleted texts. There were none. I told her that if I really wanted to hide things from you, they would be inside an encrypted system that you would never be able to break. This type of person needs to be on this "toxic" list.

I've followed you for almost a year now and yeah, the second anyone plays games and gaslights, I'm out! I've been through too much mental turmoil and to me, she's proving shes the low hanging fruit

Ugh this hit close to home. Whenever I achieved something good for myself, my ex felt the need to knock me down.

All of these... especially the competition, she thought she was successful as long as I was in the shadows.

Yes, all of them. Was married to a covert Narcissist. Mentally messed with my head.

My wife smashed two 48 inch florescent light bulbs over my head then blamed me for the mess on my shop floor.

Never let the ups and downs along the way, stop you from doing what you know is meant for you to do.

On the topic of games my biggest pet peeve about dating apps is that women's bios always say "no time for games," but they are 100% the ones that play the games, so apparently they do have time for it.

It took me many years to realize my mom is toxic, malignant, and is a narcistic. She messed me up mentally and psychologically.

At 35 I have given up on a relationships as the last 3 girlfriends I had abused my good heart, flowers,romantic geastures and have made my life hell. It's not worth the hell. It's better to be alone.

Excellent advice, Courtney. My ex displayed 4 of these toxic behaviors on a regular basis (that is why she is my ex).

Yes, I experienced all 6 of them from a single person, And many many more... Practically she is a narcissist.

I seen two damaged people against each other. One swears the other has issues, well, in blindness, too has issues and in denial. So will keep attracting same kind of women, even while fingerpointing at other men like himself!

Wow! I got almost 6 out 6 toxic behavior used against me. No wonder why I'm so miserable all of the time.

Thank you Courtney. I definitely agree that toxicity comes from unhealed trauma. my best friend's last relationship had most of these issues and they definitely were due to massive insecurity issues.

If I look back on dating and relationship experiences, a lot of the time toxic behaviors I encountered were really just immaturity on behalf of the girl, or lack of strength of character to actually say they weren’t attracted or invested in taking a relationship further. Women are non-confrontational and rarely direct. If you take the lead, but they can’t follow, then they are not going to be a good dance partner, simple as. With experience I learned to read the signs and test their attraction early on by playing it cool and not being try-hard. If a girl likes you and has character, she’ll let you know. If you have to put in work, that speaks volumes. Simple rules. If she’s below 22yo, don’t expect anything much from her, most girls are incapable of flying straight at this age. Any girl that can is highly unusual and worth pursuing. Ages 22-27 are when most smart girls start to fly right. Again, if a girl is prepared to behave during this time she’s worth taking seriously. Any girl who gets to 27 and is still a handful will always be a handful. And don’t be fooled by girls 27-32 who are suddenly seemingly flying right but were party girls before. They’ve hit epiphany phase and are looking for a sucker to settle down with most likely. These are the most dangerous women of all. As said, a woman less than 27 years old who is ready to exit the carousel for you is what you should be looking for, and if she’s 20-23 with green flags like good family, hard working and naturally submissive then take her very seriously.

Someone please pay this lady 😭🙏 she's so right 💯💯

Hi Courtney, it took me 20+ years but I am finally rejecting the toxic behaviour. Most women have impossible standards to meet, when they are average at best. There are good women out there, I have met a few usually through having the same interests or background. The future of society / reproduction is at stake. Pandering to women does not help anyone. Thanks again Courtney for all your work, Neil.

Spoiler alert: If she has a boyfriend while seeking other male validation, she’s 🗑 toxic

I had a girlfriend during the Dark Time (what I call the time before I met my wife) who couldn't get along with my friends and family. She even struggled with her own friends. She was what I call a spotlight personality. She needed to be the center of attention in any setting. This worked out fine when it was just the two of us. Under those conditions, she behaved well and communicated well. But whenever I tried to mix her with anyone else, she struggled to get the spotlight on her. I just couldn't mix her in with any of my family or friends without a tussle over who was going to be the center of attention during the social occasion. This proved unworkable.

This isn't just WOMEN- PEOPLE PEOPLE!

I had a woman flirt with me openly for 7 months, even saying things that made other people side-eye how forward it was. I ended up asking her on a date and she assumed all I wanted was sex, that she was flirting with me, but that she very recently decided she wasn't available for dating right now. So I felt confused and kind of hurt that I was led on and that reciprocating HER interest was treated like I did something wrong. So I dropped it. I ran into her at an event and she was quite forward again, touching me, hugging me, staring deeply into my eyes inches away from my face. She started texting me a lot, sending me racy photos, and even wanted to drop her sweatshirt on my porch because she got too warm on her run. We ended up making out a couple times over the next two weeks, and it felt like it was going somewhere until she called me and started talking negatively about one of my friends and I told her it hurt to hear her talk that away. She told me I shouldn't take it personally and that I will learn that in therapy and that she had to get off the phone. I told her how upset that make me and that it felt like she was gaslighting me and broke it off. Then I run into her again a few more weeks later and she's right back to hugging me and staring into my eyes and I feel like such a sucker. She is very attractive to me, creative, etc, but there is something very wrong with how she treats men or at least me. When we spend time physically together everything feels good and even special, but I feel like she mostly wants to text. If we hang-out in a group she expresses interest in spending time with me separate from the group, and when I make an offer to spend time with her she says yes, but never follows up about the times I've presented to her, or told me when best works for her. It feels like I'm some kind of tourist attraction. Like all my creativity and silence and how well my friends like me and do cool things for our community is interesting, but that once they get to know that I'm a real person with feelings and needs of my own that everything becomes foggy. I feel good about my friends, career, hobbies, finances, health, etc, but man I hate dating, lol. I want to stop taking each interested person so seriously and just date a ton of people until I find one with some mutual respect, appreciation, attraction, and communication style I guess. Not someone entitled to toying with sexuality and emotions. I feel like she has goodness in there somewhere, but I'm feeling like most of what I know about her is a mask to protect her own traumas and ego.

00:27 She is always the victim 🗯 01:25 - 02:37 Playing games 🏹❗ 04:18 Achievement becomes competition 💪👊 05:37 Excessive envy or jealousy 😠 06:39 She is controlling 🤚🤫⚠️ 07:30 - 08:31 She is using you for your money💶

there's a woman I talk to, we've had a couple night outs but I ended things cause she was talking to other guys, a couple months later she recently reached out and said she misses me and still likes me but still sleeps with other guys 🤔 not gonna chase, gonna let her do her thing 😂

1. If all she does is complain. 2. She can’t find the silver lining in tough situations nor problem solve to figure out how to get out of a pickle. 3. She doesn’t see your SOUL; she only sees your profession and financial security. 4. She doesn’t listen or support your dreams/goals. 5. She belittles you in front of others. She should be discussing issues privately and to you directly. 6. She is passive aggressive with issues; she makes you guess or assumes you should know what is wrong. 7. She doesn’t encourage or support “me time” that includes hanging with the guys, gaming, hobbies. 8. She doesn’t have a life of her own that fulfills her own soul and is relying on you solely. 9. Can’t compromise or ever see your point of view. 10. Wants to bail at the smallest inconvenient vs a team mindset.

i have a couple of these and didn’t realize it because i didn’t focus on taking care of myself and working on insecurities. i am taking charge of myself and growing to stop these toxic behaviors.

Thanks for sharing Courtney. I think you missed a massive one here which is: IF SHE CONSTANTLY CRITICIZES YOU (clear cue of her own internal insecurities)

My Ex had no secrets. Everything that happens btn us, was the next day talk of the neighborhood. She could always play blame games, manipulate her family and me, never helping but abusive even in public.

Don't even know why I watch videos like this anymore as I have ZERO interest in dating, never mind getting married.. Single and DELIGHTED to be that way and am STAYING that way.

I really appreciate the pointers and tips you give, it’s helped me regain my self worth and not get used. I don’t struggle getting dates, I struggled with picking the right one. You are the best Courtney!

What you allow is what will continue! This is so on point and what opened my eyes.

That's the key statement right there ! "What you allow is what will continue" !

I just got out of a relationship with a girl who disappointed me several times and kept coming back to me after I drew a boundary or pushed her out of my life. Even after she ghosted me I finally learned that you shouldn’t allow what you don’t want. It’s weird how some people will dump you but keep coming back to you. I learned to understand I deserve better. She didn’t feel andything doing me wrong so many times but came back with praise and flattery every time she came back. Man people are weird and you don’t need to try and figure them out. Live your best life and be content already and you will eventually get what you desire.

Toxic is the default/ the starting point. Tell us what's not toxic.

'What you allow is what will continue.' -Brilliant

Most toxic people (men or women) from my experience and observation never change. The characteristics of toxicity generally demand they never want or seek help because it means they have to be accountable which is one of the things toxic personalities can't stand to do. It's like having their tooth pulled with no anesthesia.

If she has a septum piercing, dyed hair, garbage tattoos, a bunch of single mom friends, a bunch of "guy friends", lacks accountability.

Thank you. A girl I'm dating fails 6/6. "Oh she's hot, but a psycho"

I remembered one of the women I met was using me for money. I straight up checked out on her a long time ago.

I’ve learned to quit approaching women. Focusing on myself to the max, then wait for her to approach me. That weeds out a lot of the toxic

I’m 24 and never been in a relationship but I do have my stuff together and I am financially stable

And another great one!!! You’re like a supportive friend to all of us!!! Love these tips and videos, Courtney!!!! Keep it up with the great content!!!! ❤️🙏🏼🙌🏼💯

I was married for 5 years and my ex wife filed for divorce. Fought for 1.5 years for child placement and I had to prove I was the more stable parent. I'd like to date again but it's been two dates and they were one and done. 44 and no hope for a better wife and better life.

I've experienced all of them. My relationship only lasted 9 months. She also had endometriosis and acid reflux. She had her gall bladder removed.

Boys. Relax. Live your life. Organize your minds. Build healthy goals. Achieve goals. Strive. Seek knowledge and wisdom. Meditation and peace. Develop your souls. Build your bodies. Achieve and conquer. You can do this

Very level-headed and sincerely done video. As a man who has had relationships in the past, these are really the red flags I encountered that led to their end.

Yup, the money thing resonates fully. I recently dated a girl who claimed she was a healthy feminist but still only wanted to spend my money. When I started saying "you're buying" to her "I'm hungry" or "let's go shopping" she would frown and say she doesn't have money to spend. I really let this thing drag on for more than I should have.

Courtney, you speak like my wife. Comforting, knowing many Earth Angel's are amongst mankind helping. You included. Thank you dear one.

Number 1 is very terrifying. Some women can be very manipulative better than men. Some women are very good at gaslighting, make you feel guilty that you don't do something for her. Be smart and ditch her fast.

This woman Courtney is a gem, I’d love to date someone like her. Very educated and wise. Also you are very right about toxicity comes from trauma and immaturity. Trauma is where most of our actions stem from, that’s why so many people are dysfunctional. I teach my friends and family this as often as possible. You have to make an effort to be healthy in every area of your life. It takes sacrifice and it’s uncomfortable but it’s a necessity to grow. Hilarious when you said scum of the earth, I say that often 😅

Thanks for this. It helps a lot to realise it couldn't work and moving on was the best decision, and fight back the pain. 🙏🏻

Wow Cortney I know someone right now who definitely is toxic and showed narsaistic behavior right now I was going to start dating her but after I got to know her better I quickly changed my mind ASAP!!!!!

Thanks for your videos, I recently got outta this 1 sided relationship where I was getting used for attention! I binged get watched a bunch of your videos and it opened my eyes!

I have experienced most, or all of this in every relationship my entire life. Lies, deceit, theft, drama, inconsiderate, ungrateful, selfish, extreme jealousy and more. The ones I despise the most are women that use their looks and charm to only use men to get what they want, then move on to the next fool that falls for their BS. Now in my 60s, I don't want to be alone the rest of my life, but I find it very very difficult to trust women anymore. Obviously I've never been in the right place at the right time to meet someone that knows what unconditional love actually is. I just wish it was easier to find. Life is way too short for this BS.

My ex 100%!!!!! Always the victim, lies and freaks out when you mention a girl, but she has 9 guy friends from work. Literally!!!

Excellent video, Courtney. Definitely experienced and you are 150% right.

If she is under 50... and breathing.

Well, I think the woman I was interested in was toxic... Actually, we were in the same class for 2 years. From the second year on, we started talking to each other very often on snapchat, and we were really "close", sharing our problems, as well as our thoughts about everything... But once in class, she acted like I didn't exist anymore. I didn't understand, but I told myself that as long as we kept talking, everything was fine... But as time went by, I noticed that I was "talking in a vacuum", as if she didn't remember what I was saying (even though I was paying a lot of attention to what she was saying)... And yet, sometimes she was surprising me, giving me ideas for music that I could play and sing on the piano because she thought I sang well... But one day she talked to me, crying because the boy she was interested in was with a girl she knew, and she was asking me for advice (how ironic)... And even after that, she was still interested in him... Anyway, maybe I was wrong from the beginning, but I sincerely thought that there was something. And I swore to myself that after we graduated, I would confess to her, but after thinking about it, even though it hurt, I held back, because deep down I knew it wasn't going to work.