"Let's imagine you have a friend.." I'm going to have to stop you there.

This channel is just a guide on how to politely manipulate people and I’m here for it

Instead of saying, "This story isn't entirely truthful", say, "Ya'll ain't gonna believe this."

"No problem" to me could mean, "it wasn't a problem for me - to go out of my way for you. Of course I'd do it, we're good friends. No problem." That's what I hear.

Cant kill your charisma if you dont have one

I noticed a year ago not to say "You already told me that" when a friend tells me a story that I've already heard, instead "I remember you telling me this" sounds more genuine.

“It really do be like that sometimes”

A video on email etiquette would be incredibly helpful. I've probably lost plenty of positions just to poor emailing wording

1. Glad to help 2. There may be a mistake. Let’s figure it out? 3. Frame positively 4. When you _____, I feel _____. 5. I’d love to help you by ______.

Me: When you ..., I feel ... My mum: Oh, psh! You're too sensitive.

pretty sure the reason why people say "no problem" is because most people can feel like asking for a favor, even a simple one, is a huge burden on the person helping them and so, to reassure them that it's not we say "no problem". honestly if my good friend said "happy to help" I'd give them a really odd look because it just sounds weird.

"So that your natural charisma can shine." Bold of you to assume i have one.

"No problem"Charlie,we'll try not to "screw up" these tips and "I don't know if everyone agrees but","you always" make great videos so "thank you in advance"😂

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman"

Most of your vids boil down to being a positive person. Thanks for helping me be happier! Stoicism + charisma on command = better me

"The best way to get someone to do something is to make them think it's their idea." - Alan, The Amazing World of Gumball

You’re so right about saying “you always/never” being a very bad idea!!

Good advice man. Super guilty of the "No problem" one and will start working to change it!

This dude and his friend This dude: woah, thanks for picking me up, man His friend: hey, no problem **sudden and uncomfortable silence** This dude: His friend: This dude: aM i a jOke tO yOu?

This channel is so awesome and I love it! It all kind of boils down to "treat other people how you would like to be treated, be kind, and lift others up in action and speech." these tips are sooo needed in a world that seems to stress stepping on other people/guarding yourself to get ahead. Couldn't appreciate the positivity of this channel more!

1) Don't reply "no problem" when a friend thanks you, you should say "happy to help" 2) Don't say "you screwed up"/"you messed up" to a waiter, you should tell him "I think there is a mistake, could you help me to figure it out?" 3) Don't say "This is not great/interresting but..", just say "This is a topic/song that might interrested you" 4) In a fight, don't use "you never/always (blabla)", you should say "when you (blabla), I feel (blabla)" 5) In emails, when you ask something don't say "I'd love to ask you about (blabla)", you should should turn it as a gift Ex: don't write "I'd love to be in your video" but "I'd love to help you" Great video!😄

1. No Problem ... Happy to help 2. You Screwed Up ... I think there may be a mistake 3. This isn't great, but ... (try to be more positive, some of you may recognize.. 4. You always/never ... I feel BLANK when you BLANK 5. ending on a value-take vs value-giving

1) Happy to help. 2) I think there may be a mistake, can you help me figure it out. Good ones!

I play music professionally. #3 kills me for years. So many people want to get up and start the song with this qualifier. “Hey I just learned this, so go easy on me…blah blah blah”. It’s the absolute worst thing you can do. You instantly invite scrutiny where there was none, and even if you perform well, people will think you are a hack, anyway.

Summary: 1. Don't say "no problem" when you do someone a favor. Say "happy to help", indicating that you actually care about the person. 2. Don't say "you screwed up". Say "I think there may be a mistake, can you help me out?". Why? You're using the passive voice, so you are not directly focusing on who is to blame. In addition, "can you help me out" sets up a goal for both people. 3. Don't disqualify preemptively. For example, don't start a speech off with "I didn't really have enough time to.." or "I know this isn't something very interesting, but..", because in this way you frame the next thing you are going to say as not good. Instead, just tell your story, or put a positive frame in advance - "Hey, this topic is very timely..", "This is a topic that may interest you..". 4. Don't say "you always/never..." + something negative (if it is positive, it's good). A much better think to say is "When you do X, I feel Y". Example "When you say that I am not good at singing, it makes me feel like you don't really value our friendship.". This is a fact that cannot be disputed, as the fact is that what someone did made you FEEL a certain way. 5. Don't use statements that imply you only take value like "I'd love to pick your brain about" or even "Thank you in advance.". Instead, offer value or at least trade value. For example, "I see you might need help with X and i could help". Before you send a request, like an e-mail, check the last line and check whether it is implied that you want to take value, give value or trade value.

Another big one is to try to always say"thank you" instead of "sorry." For example, instead of "I'm sorry for being late" try saying, "thank you for waiting for me." In both cases you acknowledge the situation to the other person, but when you say thank you it shows you appreciate them continuing to work with you anyways.

I went through a really rough divorce when I was younger and lost everything. It was hard for me because I've been independent and on my own since I was 16 years old. Reluctantly, I had to ask my dad for help at times just to make ends meet, and when I would thank him, he would always reply, "I'm just happy I'm able to help you, Son." I can't describe just how much that meant to me, and now, when my grown kids ask me for things, I tell them the same thing. I'm just glad to be able to help you.

Im officially addicted to this channel. I got some issues that Im not getting into, but these videos make me feel like Im restoring my better, past self, that I thought was gone, long ago

1. No problem -> Happy to help (reinforces friendships) 2. You screwed up -> There's a mistake, help me figure it out 3. This isn't great but... 4. You always/never followed up with something negative -> When you say ___, I feel like ___. 5. In emails: I'd love to learn from you (an ask) -> I could give you these insights (a give)

I'm a host at a restaurant and some people are so rude automatically! A lady came up to me today and in a harsh tone, with her finger wagging, said "We need our bill. We've been waiting FOREVER and nobody has given it to us." I apologized, printed one out, walked over to her table, but there was a receipt already on the edge, just behind a plate so somehow none of the six customers at that table saw it. >.>

It's really hard for us in Australia, because the majority of our common phrases is saying what something 'isn't'. "Where's the shops?" - "Not far" "How are you?" - "Not bad" "When do they arrive? - "Not long"

The four pieces of non-violent communication are: 1.) Observation - "When I see/hear x" 2.) Emotion - "I feel y" 3.) Needs - "I need to know (you care/your intention)/feel (safe/heard)/z" 4.) Request - "Would you be willing to (help me understand where you're coming from)/a?" Reminded me of point 4.

I like that you always give alternatives to what you're trying to stop. You don't just say; "That thing you do is stupid, stop it", you rather say "Its better if you do this that way and here's why ... "

I never understood why people are so mean to waiters. Great advice in this one though. I always rephrase my arguments with my hubby lol. Also, I need to stop putting myself down before showing something I created. Love the give at end of email; going to use that at work.

I was actually taught that the preemptive disqualification was a good thing when it comes to getting what you want because the other person often wants to prove you wrong. Like “hey I know you’re so busy and probably don’t have time but...” they’re more likely to say yes because you’ve already used up their excuse to say no, yet you’re still giving them a way out and showing appreciation for their help. Plus when you do it when it comes to yourself, “I’m not a great singer, but here goes..” they’re more likely to be impressed because you already set low expectations. This has worked in all my college classes..you get a lot more help when you don’t raise everyone’s expectations of you as well...and giving people the opportunity to help you makes them feel more valuable, which does increase your charisma

Charisma on Command is probably the only channel that I regularly re-watch (the older videos) and check emails for new updates.

When you (punch me in the face), i feel (injured).

"Dad, when you curse at me, I feel bad" "Then don't give me a reason to curse at you" :'[

In summary, Beautify and sharpen your vocabulary.

"you screwed up" How common is this phrase really? It's incredibly rude, I'd never ever say that to a total stranger let alone a friend

Most Charismatic part of your vid was leaving the main points and time stamps in description; thanks.

I love that you give substitution to the "bad" phrases. You're not simply showing their existance, but also providing solutions

#1 is one of my favorite lessons, because I consciously utilize both the "right" and "wrong" phrases. Sometimes, you *don't* want someone to think you hugely value them... as terrible as that may sound.

It’s great to kinda realise that half these things along with other charisma stuff that regards politeness and presentation is something you can figure out on your own the older you get. Rather quickly too, if you pay attention to how you act and take people’s reactions/feelings into consideration.

I have an aunt who always says "That's ok" instead of "your welcome". I always thought that was very strange.

"happy to help" seems like a weird way to phrase it...like if someone said it to me it'd feel a bit too much to me. I guess an "any time" or "of course" would do just fine right?

When you first meet a woman, it's good to tell her right away that your Mom says that you are a catch.

I love how you talk about framing. I have a friend that often starts a sentence with “I saw this thing that I thought you’d really like…”. He immediately has my attention and makes me feel important because he’s thinking about me and looking out for me.

am i the only one who say "you're welcome"?

The secret of his charisma is having 74 teeth.

0:45: No Problem. Instead say "I'm Happy To Help" 1:49: You screwed up. Instead be passive and more polite and say "I think there's a mistake.." 3:29 Don't start something by saying it will be bad. Instead say nothing or add something that relates to the viewers 4:47 You always/ You Never. Instead say "When you say....., it....." 6:29 Don't sign off by "asking". Instead "give" :D

''when you do blank, I feel blank'' - Charlie Houpert

I am glad I saw this video today. It was so helpful. I was sad and upset today. This video made me realize that I could make myself better.

I've actually done the first one a lot lately, thank you so much for this!

you'd make a great Joker with that bright smile :)

the first one “no problem” BRUH I USE THAT AT LEAST 50 TIMES A DAY AT MY JOB i hate my life

#1 is literally me 24/7. THANK YOU. Because sometime it is a problem but I did it anyway because I appreciate people.

I do numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. Thanks to this video I may be able to fix that. Thank you for all the help. I have a whole playlist of your videos and I can't wait to start substiuting in all these tips. You're a lifesaver.

Wow dude, some of these points (specifically 1, 3 and 5) actually blew me away. I feel like I always kinda knew these things subconsciously, but never clearly enough to apply them consistently or realize when they were impeding me. I feel like your channel has the potential to teach me a lot, and despite your advise against saying this: thanks in advance. Keep up the great work!

Your writing and delivery are really good. Very professional and well documented. I actually managed to remember entire courses worth of information, university level, on the subject of conflict management and psychology, just from this very well organised video. Keep up the good work!

1. "Hey what's up guys it's scarce here" 2. "It's your host kiiiiiiiiiiiller keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemstar" 3. "Hey, Vsauce, Michael here"

Just found your channel recently. My business requires a lot of prospecting and client interactions and your videos have really given me a lot of great advice and tips to increase my social effectiveness, plus you’re also entertaining. Thanks for the videos, big fan!

SO VERY HELPFUL!!! I'm 73 and learning all the time. Your channel is now one of my GO TO LIVE BETTER info channels. I'm getting better all the time. CHANGING for the better is SO MUCH FUN!!! Thank you so very much.

Props for either using a teleprompter or learning your material by heart. Very professional.

I’m really surprised with all of the negativity in the comment section. As a human communication researcher, I can assure you that there is an abundance of support for each of these points in psychological and communicative scholarly literature! Nice work. Very interesting and informative stuff.

the phycopaths guide to acting like an everyday human ☺ still love this channel though😂

#4 "Only a Sith deals in Absolutes..."

I say "Any time!" because *ain't no mountain high enough starts playing*

Love your content guys!!

"When you blank, i feel blank" 5:27 that was deep bruh

@3:19 the part about pre-emptive disqualification is apt for many aspects of interaction. I don't consider myself very attractive, and one day, I realized I was actually saying "I'm not attractive" out loud, in so many ways. And guess what? That's how people treated me! Now I know I'm not a beauty queen, but just never saying that, or telling people I'm gorgeous, even in a tongue-in-cheek manner, frames me as a person with high self-esteem and higher worth. Even if it doesn't actually make me more attractive, it makes me FEEL more attractive to just stop putting my negativity in the air in the first place.

When messaging people I always sign off with, "Thank you for your time and consideration". I do this to let the other person know that I appreciate them taking time out of their day to read my message and for also taking the time to consider how to respond or help with the issue at hand.

No problem Charlie, we'll try not screw up these tips and I don't know if everyone agrees but you always make great videos so thanks in advance.

Over-analyzing "no problem" is quite a problem here...most of us when we say it, we certainly do not have any poor intentions and it generally just comes from a genuine place.

The first one "No Problem" was very helpful.

Another thing to say besides happy to help when you do a favor is “any time” but don’t say this every time because this could get you used but it’s gonna show your trustworthy and build a stronger relationship

9 minutes with 0 cuts. Very impressive. Oh, great content too. Thank you

The always a negative thing is key. Never speak in absolutes. And call out people who do, it derails conversations and change them into arguments

Rewatching this years later and HOLY COW the second one is actually way more common than I thought, I worked in a call center for about a year and helped with a lot of billing/scheduling issues. I probably talked to thousands of people who came out swinging saying “you screwed up, fix it right now” and MOST of the time, they were actually wrong but since they already established that they can’t be wrong, they ended up causing so much headache not only for everyone trying to help them but mostly for themselves because it just drags out the problem!! Its surprising but it’s actually sooo rare to hear someone say “I think there may be a mistake..” and TRUST ME those customers always ended up getting the most golden service.

Oddly enough, when somebody says thank you, my go-to phrase is “No problem. I’m happy to help.” I don’t know why. “No problem” just feels natural but then I’m also inclined to follow it up with “Happy to help”, I guess for the same reasons you mentioned but after all these years, it’s just become a habit.

Heck yeah. Now im gonna try to use this advice irl and fail miserably!

Charlies so likable im shook... his persona and charisma make it clear that taking his advice is gonna be effective

Empaths often can be "door mats " I spent my life evolving to stay true to myself while caring about others. Throughout my life even as a child, I have come to realize that anyone who crosses my path, that I feel are falling off a cliff.. my instincts are to reach out immediately. I believe in communication without anger. Stay on subject not for anyone to go " below the belt " I have majority of my life appeared to put others well being above my own. Without regret. In my senior years, I am doing my best to combine looking out for others and looking out for myself. I completely relate to his words. Always have wondered where are the people from my planet 🤔 ? 😁🙃 3/6/23

I found the first part hilarious, because I usually say "Oh, no problem! Happy to help."

I’m super grateful for all of your videos! You’ve played a major role in my growth and improving my social skills and understanding people.

Thanks for "No problem" I hate saying it but it became a habit. Definitely going to use all this advice.

My most common response to someone saying 'Thank you' is 'Anytime'. I feel it strengthens the trust bond with someone and lets them know that they can feel free to approach me with anything they need help with at 'anytime'. That being said, I am an 'Alpha Male' with highly aggressive tendencies that easily gets hurt. As my response mechanism to being hurt is usually anger with the propensity for transitioning to violence quickly, I am learning ALOT from watching your videos. They are making a difference and I wanted you to know this as it's nice to know that the work you put in is not for naught and it is VERY POSITIVELY affecting peoples' lives and lifestyles. TYVM. My family and friendship dynamics have greatly benefited from the implementation of what I have learned and am learning by watching your videos, which are both done well and easy to understand as well as, IMHO, very professional. Take care, man and keep 'em coming!

Regarding number 1. I find myself saying “no problem” when helping someone I really care about. It didn’t occur to me that it may have been lost in translation, but I guess I say it because I don’t want the other person feel guilty for asking a favour (because I know I feel uncomfortable asking for help myself!) But this is an interesting point, I’ll consider it

Saying "like" within your sentences destroys your charisma. Thank you for the tips.

Wow I never knew saying "no problem" can kill charisma, it's just like in my opinion, it's like the word I use to any person who expresses gratitude all the time, thanks for the informative video, I definitely learned alot today

You could also say "you're welcome" along with "happy to help"

I like his insistence that we speak to everyone with the same respect. I do well with restaurant and office staff, but I forget it with some people who want things from me. I can & should still treat them with respect.

I've heard the 'no problem' before. I generally use 'my pleasure.'

Saying "no problem" isn't in any way implying "if it had been a problem, I might not had done it", nor is implying if there was a cost, you wouldn't have done it. What you're saying is "it's not a problem to help you out". They're already thanking you for your help. No reason to make a bigger deal out of it than it is. I actually think more highly of people when they go out of their way to help me and brush it off like it's not a big deal by using phrases like "no problem" or "any time". Makes it seem like they're just naturally helpful people or that helping me out is a no-brainer.

That first one made me realize how often I say “no problem” or even “no problemo” to seem more fun but what I’m actually doing is keeping potentially good friends at a distance

Dude, I love your smile, it is contagious. As well, I find your presentations invaluable, so important, I am not very good at communication, and often dread interactions, even though at 47, have gotten used to it, but not good with stress in some communications. My Son, has trouble with communication and social interaction, and then I saw youl here, you are amazing, and you have been such a boon with useful tools and observations to not only help myself with communication and social cues, but also, you help me do a better job to help my children and ex's by helping me realize when I mess up, and how to do it better. You are worth your weight in platinum, I really want you to know how much you have made a difference. Thank you so very much. A big fan over here, sir.

Your face is so animated. It's great.

When someone says "Thank you" don't try to be clever just say "You're welcome."

At Wachovia (precursor of Wells Fargo) they spent a large amount of money researching “No problem”! It has a negative context- people hear “problem” & it makes them uncomfortable. If we said “no problem” it was a terminating offense! It was in my contract. We were forbidden to use it. So, today, when someone says it to me, I look them in the eye, and they are implying either me or something I’m ordering or requesting is a problem- when one says, “thank you”, one should respond, “ you’re welcome” or “my pleasure” - NOT “no problem”. I didn’t realize the power of words, but, wow, yes, totally agree!

I say, "No problem..." followed with some clarification that this was no problem because not only am I happy but also grateful to assist you. To good friends, acquaintances, even strangers. As if, no matter what I have to overcome, it really would be no issue for me to help you. I'm delighted to use this time, fuel, or other resources that might otherwise be difficult to obtain, for your sake. Everyone seems to enjoy being a delight to another, and I am indeed delighted. Also, for the rest of these tips, I'm so grateful I paid attention in my first and second year classes, especially my communications class, because these things have helped me in life. This video is so accurate.