"Let's imagine you have a friend.." I'm going to have to stop you there.
@lovelylluvia53005 жыл бұрын
Lmao
@jlruhlow64125 жыл бұрын
dude... too true
@aimeesartin64045 жыл бұрын
bravo, zulu. tip of the hat to ya!
@the1exnay5 жыл бұрын
That's uh... That's why we're here. To fix that
@NikolaiWowe5 жыл бұрын
It’s sad because that’s why I’m watching these videos lol
@Charles-4726 жыл бұрын
This channel is just a guide on how to politely manipulate people and I’m here for it
@MarcoTheGreat20086 жыл бұрын
Disagree - manipulation is inherently dishonest whereas most of the advice on here is based in honesty, empathy, and integrity.
@marcusleonghoykitt6 жыл бұрын
Mark H nah
@AgentMurphy2866 жыл бұрын
If it is done for nonselfless reasons, it crosses into manipulation. This content is largely presented as manipulation techniques. However, a lot of this can be used to help with minor confidence issues, but not serious ones.
@ThienNguyen-uz5xy6 жыл бұрын
At first when i found this channel i thought so too Agent, but as i watch more and more i realized that many of these videos are to teach you how to communicate better. In a way that your intentions are heard while removing the possibilities of misunderstandings. for example i watched some relationship videos and also charisma videos and they both teach communication techniques that help you get your intentions to the other person (significant other, friend, family, stranger, etc..). i do see your point though that some of the charisma videos may seem as manipulation tactics but tryign seeing it from the perspective of someone who doesnt know how to communicate properly and messes up alot of interactions. these vids help them not to manipulate others but create a relationship where both parties can understand each other.
@RVNess6 жыл бұрын
How the hell? he's just telling you how to not come over as rude or ungrateful
@DraculaSWBF25 жыл бұрын
Instead of saying, "This story isn't entirely truthful", say, "Ya'll ain't gonna believe this."
@dddila5 жыл бұрын
That really catch my interest
@khadijathegreat23875 жыл бұрын
Or "GURRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL "
@DraculaSWBF25 жыл бұрын
@@khadijathegreat2387 WHAAAAAAAAT?
@morrishellgrn5 жыл бұрын
DraculaSWBF2 thank you, all mighty sky father...
@anyoneanyone35154 жыл бұрын
DraculaSWBF2 LOL 😂
@greynotgray68085 жыл бұрын
"No problem" to me could mean, "it wasn't a problem for me - to go out of my way for you. Of course I'd do it, we're good friends. No problem." That's what I hear.
@inastudious5 жыл бұрын
Same. That’s also what I imply whenever I help people and they thank me for it.
@celloafterdark41735 жыл бұрын
If “Of course I’d do it, we’re good friends” is what you mean, then maybe consider saying that! Way nicer and less vague than “no problem”
@apersononyoutube14965 жыл бұрын
I’ve heard that “no problem” is rude but I feel like “you’re welcome” is worse. I say no problem all the time. But I’ve heard in some cultures it comes off as rude 🤷♀️
@liawinter52455 жыл бұрын
@@apersononyoutube1496 i like the sound of 'no problem' much better, depending on the tone. 'you're welcome' feels like i'm putting the attention onto the other person rather than accepting it. i feel like it's kind of... confrontational? i guess? final? it feels strange to me.
@violetbitch94925 жыл бұрын
yeah I interpret "no problem" like "oh its no big deal you don't need to thank me" not like "i did it just because it wasn't a problem"
@rektonhell44856 жыл бұрын
Cant kill your charisma if you dont have one
@XentrykGaming6 жыл бұрын
Rektonhell you're already charismatic bossman
@aurourus68946 жыл бұрын
You can't kill it twice you mean.
@bluetooth55626 жыл бұрын
*if you don't have charisma.
@44lionsfan6 жыл бұрын
I have a poptart. Does that count
@andrewpaul16446 жыл бұрын
Rektonhell yes id like to buy 1 charisma plz
@rossburrow28136 жыл бұрын
I noticed a year ago not to say "You already told me that" when a friend tells me a story that I've already heard, instead "I remember you telling me this" sounds more genuine.
@alexsmith29106 жыл бұрын
Another good peice of advice. Anything to soften the blow.
@Shaannooonn6 жыл бұрын
Ross Burrow yessss! thank you
@joutuber47146 жыл бұрын
i know someone who does tellme certain stories twice but i just listen like i havent heard it before
@DarkHeroCC6 жыл бұрын
I have this problem with my girlfriend and sometimes I react as if it were new but often it slips and I say "you've already told me that". I'm afraid I may be hurting her
@Shaannooonn6 жыл бұрын
DarkHero - Destiny 2 Videos just try to make it sound as if you want her to know that you remember her telling it to you, so it means that you care about the things she tells you and memorizes it, that way she won’t be hurt but will actually feel loved. like if she tells you a story about an annoying coworker instead of saying “yeah you already told me that” (which might be hurtful) say something like “yesss! i remember you telling me about this guy/girl. they are horrible” and try to make it a contribution to the conversation, so now she can tell you something else, not a way to end it with “I heard it before don’t want to hear about it again”. it’s so beautiful that you’re concerned with hurting her btw 💗 bless
@nkechi01225 жыл бұрын
“It really do be like that sometimes”
@amuffin22155 жыл бұрын
Nkechi01 it do those
@youngcuba125 жыл бұрын
SBTRKT!
@austinmasson23704 жыл бұрын
It's a lot simpler than anyone could imagine. Confidence is a facade designed to dominate an environment to an individuals will, if you listen carefully to his words it supports this. Confidence is not a tool people use to improve others lifestyle, but rather our own, and we will never admit this because we are naturally selfish. Just love yourself even though you will make mistakes throughout life, some really bad. You are the only true support system for yourself, because the idea that some one will help you in any way without benefitting themselves is a lie. Consider the fact that you have to pay for their service. You cannot buy confidence, it must be taught and earned.
@fastronaut9094 жыл бұрын
I appreciate your profile pic. Good music taste 🤙🙂
@fastronaut9094 жыл бұрын
@@youngcuba12 I thought the same thing 🤘
@zachkunz47065 жыл бұрын
A video on email etiquette would be incredibly helpful. I've probably lost plenty of positions just to poor emailing wording
@rawanthebookworm15365 жыл бұрын
Zacho Kunz Yesssssss
@GabyyRose5 жыл бұрын
Lol people reading the email are mostly either : - Too stressed to care because they have more important things to check like what their boss who can fire them in a pinch told them to worry about - Have lost their eyes in the war and can't read what is perfectly typed in by an individual who knows exactly what the company wants but company legit doesn't know for some reason - Plainly didn't see because... either stress or lack of eyes And then there's the 1% of sociopathic people who will disect every of your words. But they virtualy don't exist because : nobody has time anyway. You have to be concise with what you write because they read diagonally anyway. Just use the simplest of words and go straight to the point and don't had flourishes. Unless you're directly writing to the director or something. They're the only one who take the time to read the email entierely. But the thing you should NEVER do is being overly polite. Especially if you sent it to the director. That's the most advices I can give right now 😂
@kw92994 жыл бұрын
I had a college professor who refused to give a letter of recommendation to a previous student because their email was in poor form....
@thevoxdeus3 жыл бұрын
1) Comic Sans font for everything. 2) Entire email as a single block paragraph. 3) Start email with "Hey," unless it's to someone much higher than you in the organization, then it should start with "Hey!" 4) Don't use words if you can use an emoji. Use numbers in the place of words whenever possible. 5) If you don't get a response within 5 minutes, "Reply All" to your own email with a simple "???????"
@StreetfighterU3 жыл бұрын
@@thevoxdeus this is solid advice, I just signed a $2 billion deal with Bill Gates, Elon Musk is now my Godfather and Warren Buffet is my brother-in-law.
@IK-ei3nu5 жыл бұрын
1. Glad to help 2. There may be a mistake. Let’s figure it out? 3. Frame positively 4. When you _____, I feel _____. 5. I’d love to help you by ______.
@brentmadison76055 жыл бұрын
Thank you.
@draconshot9285 жыл бұрын
I'd love to help you by helping myself.
@jonfairhurst715 жыл бұрын
When you fart, I feel sick
@gsau30004 жыл бұрын
Yeah, I know. I literally just watched it.
@RaccoonNation4 жыл бұрын
@@brentmadison7605 I dont think it was a big deal 🤣
@lilacDaisy1116 жыл бұрын
Me: When you ..., I feel ... My mum: Oh, psh! You're too sensitive.
@ingakit53815 жыл бұрын
When you say I am too sensitive, I feel ... :D PS I think, for the 2nd part "you don't realize how much those words can hurt if said by a mother" should work.
@Breyerluvr4eva5 жыл бұрын
Ahh, minimization
@justwait98225 жыл бұрын
Me: when you... I feel... Mom cuts me off: get the belt
@DaenerysTheQueen5 жыл бұрын
same here :D
@jessicarose20905 жыл бұрын
Lilac Milkshake I feel this.
@mhlib75695 жыл бұрын
pretty sure the reason why people say "no problem" is because most people can feel like asking for a favor, even a simple one, is a huge burden on the person helping them and so, to reassure them that it's not we say "no problem". honestly if my good friend said "happy to help" I'd give them a really odd look because it just sounds weird.
@justahuman92735 жыл бұрын
That's true, it could be weird if you aren't used to that phrase from that person.
@mouthbreather65315 жыл бұрын
I just say anytime
@chasepickett7295 жыл бұрын
Context my dude
@HitmanNr475 жыл бұрын
Rephrase it then. I have a friend who often says something like "For you, anytime". And that carries a different sentiment compared to "No problem" (which I like to use)
@TheBrass185 жыл бұрын
I just say, “yeah okay”
@jeffalong4 жыл бұрын
"So that your natural charisma can shine." Bold of you to assume i have one.
@jonwick7306 жыл бұрын
"No problem"Charlie,we'll try not to "screw up" these tips and "I don't know if everyone agrees but","you always" make great videos so "thank you in advance"😂
@admangoe6 жыл бұрын
Jon Wick good comment, would have been even better without the quotes
@CriticalThought0046 жыл бұрын
Jon Wick no problem
@bosteador6 жыл бұрын
admangoe there may have been a mistake in the choice of quotations.
@steventravale9196 жыл бұрын
*contains spoilers*
@artinhertz51436 жыл бұрын
hahahah
@billclinton90136 жыл бұрын
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman"
@anthonymcdaris98045 жыл бұрын
Who Hillary?
@geronimo55375 жыл бұрын
Some people just call that circuit dating.
@mellowcanoe28155 жыл бұрын
LMAO
@Vulturefist5 жыл бұрын
Yeah, you did! You did have sexual relations with that woman. You dawg! 😀
@420skoop5 жыл бұрын
Sure
@aaronlewis7025 жыл бұрын
Most of your vids boil down to being a positive person. Thanks for helping me be happier! Stoicism + charisma on command = better me
@chickendrawsdogs33435 жыл бұрын
"The best way to get someone to do something is to make them think it's their idea." - Alan, The Amazing World of Gumball
@db757lbh15 жыл бұрын
Chicken Draws Dogs That show is brilliant.
@cantthinkofaname50463 жыл бұрын
When I first heard that on the show my mind shattered
@mimilook43473 жыл бұрын
That show is perfect for teaching EVERYONE what's wrong and what's right on an entertaining way and is relatable af
@tadiwakwashiwa68083 жыл бұрын
Manipulation of high class
@goncalobaia15742 жыл бұрын
Also the Mentalist
@CaylieandTim6 жыл бұрын
You’re so right about saying “you always/never” being a very bad idea!!
@hardcorehammy78486 жыл бұрын
only a Sith deals in absolutes
@HavokTheorem6 жыл бұрын
Beat me to it!
@EzekJohnson6 жыл бұрын
It's one of the most volatile phrases that can start and/fuel an argument to boiling point. This phrase can seriously kill relationships. Thank you
@Mutantcy19926 жыл бұрын
You can bet good money that any fight between a couple will contain the phrase "You always do this!" regardless of what the fight is about.
@X1erra6 жыл бұрын
I certainly feel pissed whenever anyone says that to me, as it's not true to me, and such, leads to arguments. Ah, if only they knew what they're saying.
@DavidErickRamos6 жыл бұрын
Good advice man. Super guilty of the "No problem" one and will start working to change it!
@TheRealBruhDamn6 жыл бұрын
Woah it's David
@dmdport7456 жыл бұрын
I use "anytime" instead.
@jzeeder6 жыл бұрын
Thank you! Anytime is a much better word that I will use instead
@LovelyGrits136 жыл бұрын
David Erick Ramos - Ocarina at Chick-fil-A I noticed they responded to my 'thank you' with 'my pleasure' instead of 'no problem' or 'you're welcome', and I like the response so much I started using it myself. Lol Good 'ol Chick-fil-A customer service. :-)
@yugen6 жыл бұрын
"My pleasure" is a great response.
@diko10615 жыл бұрын
This dude and his friend This dude: woah, thanks for picking me up, man His friend: hey, no problem **sudden and uncomfortable silence** This dude: His friend: This dude: aM i a jOke tO yOu?
@scoobyrick513rd5 жыл бұрын
Lol 🤣
@leenaysmith36725 жыл бұрын
Wtf
@NEENOLAFLAIR3 жыл бұрын
😅😅
@candycane1335 жыл бұрын
This channel is so awesome and I love it! It all kind of boils down to "treat other people how you would like to be treated, be kind, and lift others up in action and speech." these tips are sooo needed in a world that seems to stress stepping on other people/guarding yourself to get ahead. Couldn't appreciate the positivity of this channel more!
@taylor_br0wn_06 жыл бұрын
1) Don't reply "no problem" when a friend thanks you, you should say "happy to help" 2) Don't say "you screwed up"/"you messed up" to a waiter, you should tell him "I think there is a mistake, could you help me to figure it out?" 3) Don't say "This is not great/interresting but..", just say "This is a topic/song that might interrested you" 4) In a fight, don't use "you never/always (blabla)", you should say "when you (blabla), I feel (blabla)" 5) In emails, when you ask something don't say "I'd love to ask you about (blabla)", you should should turn it as a gift Ex: don't write "I'd love to be in your video" but "I'd love to help you" Great video!😄
@Ggdivhjkjl6 жыл бұрын
This comment should be pinned.
@Partoftheratpack6 жыл бұрын
Nothing to do with charisma then
@jabara835 жыл бұрын
4) In a fight, don't use "you never/always (blabla)", use your fists.
@andrewsav48655 жыл бұрын
Bruh a large portion of these videos is observational learning, you have to see his body language to learn.
@IvoryMane5 жыл бұрын
Thank you, these bulletpoints helped me learn
@Aliens-Are-Our-Friends20276 жыл бұрын
1. No Problem ... Happy to help 2. You Screwed Up ... I think there may be a mistake 3. This isn't great, but ... (try to be more positive, some of you may recognize.. 4. You always/never ... I feel BLANK when you BLANK 5. ending on a value-take vs value-giving
@wagwan5846 жыл бұрын
RP Saved me 9 minutes
@sqronce6 жыл бұрын
RP's list is useful once having watched the video, but the framing information he gives for each of these points is important and useful, so I would still recommend watching the full thing, Wag Wan. :)
@Xzeno986 жыл бұрын
_
@shaheerziya26316 жыл бұрын
RP Hey! YOU SCREWED UP! I think there might be a mistake with you.
@UFO3141596 жыл бұрын
Good summary.
@buddyduddyful5 жыл бұрын
1) Happy to help. 2) I think there may be a mistake, can you help me figure it out. Good ones!
@davidkopec9442 Жыл бұрын
I play music professionally. #3 kills me for years. So many people want to get up and start the song with this qualifier. “Hey I just learned this, so go easy on me…blah blah blah”. It’s the absolute worst thing you can do. You instantly invite scrutiny where there was none, and even if you perform well, people will think you are a hack, anyway.
@cnervip Жыл бұрын
Maybe "this is a song that I been practicing lately/put a lot of effort" can be a midground
@mliao1 Жыл бұрын
Also a professional muso, I think it can come across cheeky/endearing if you execute it really well. Sometimes it's nice for fans to see you're only human, or that unlike the cocky primadona stereotype, you're secure enough to be real about your imperfections
@cnervip Жыл бұрын
@@mliao1 maybe just say "sorry i need to practice more" after only if you screw some part
@matthewbarrettashfield7848 Жыл бұрын
yup. just like that one kid that cries and says theyre gonna fail but end up being the top student. this only works if that person already likes you or idolises you.
@MENTIONNN6 жыл бұрын
Summary: 1. Don't say "no problem" when you do someone a favor. Say "happy to help", indicating that you actually care about the person. 2. Don't say "you screwed up". Say "I think there may be a mistake, can you help me out?". Why? You're using the passive voice, so you are not directly focusing on who is to blame. In addition, "can you help me out" sets up a goal for both people. 3. Don't disqualify preemptively. For example, don't start a speech off with "I didn't really have enough time to.." or "I know this isn't something very interesting, but..", because in this way you frame the next thing you are going to say as not good. Instead, just tell your story, or put a positive frame in advance - "Hey, this topic is very timely..", "This is a topic that may interest you..". 4. Don't say "you always/never..." + something negative (if it is positive, it's good). A much better think to say is "When you do X, I feel Y". Example "When you say that I am not good at singing, it makes me feel like you don't really value our friendship.". This is a fact that cannot be disputed, as the fact is that what someone did made you FEEL a certain way. 5. Don't use statements that imply you only take value like "I'd love to pick your brain about" or even "Thank you in advance.". Instead, offer value or at least trade value. For example, "I see you might need help with X and i could help". Before you send a request, like an e-mail, check the last line and check whether it is implied that you want to take value, give value or trade value.
@Ben-jq3ov6 жыл бұрын
NizeBUL thank you
@cheesecakelasagna6 жыл бұрын
What a hero!
@TheSilentSoprano16 жыл бұрын
Thanks saved me 9 minutes of my life.
@AW-ez7zn6 жыл бұрын
+
@kristianbello63356 жыл бұрын
Print screened. Thanks dude.
@concretewindow10786 жыл бұрын
Another big one is to try to always say"thank you" instead of "sorry." For example, instead of "I'm sorry for being late" try saying, "thank you for waiting for me." In both cases you acknowledge the situation to the other person, but when you say thank you it shows you appreciate them continuing to work with you anyways.
@aaronseet27385 жыл бұрын
And then they reply "no problem" :)
@colephelps62025 жыл бұрын
Yes, you may also try, "Please excuse the delay. Thank you for your patience."
@Jessie_Helms5 жыл бұрын
Concrete Window I’m totally stealing that
@fauxparr5 жыл бұрын
Yeah I'll remember thst one for work
@bobnavonvictorsteyn90175 жыл бұрын
I can’t imagine coming to class late and saying “thank you for waiting for me”
@Terminal-Vet Жыл бұрын
I went through a really rough divorce when I was younger and lost everything. It was hard for me because I've been independent and on my own since I was 16 years old. Reluctantly, I had to ask my dad for help at times just to make ends meet, and when I would thank him, he would always reply, "I'm just happy I'm able to help you, Son." I can't describe just how much that meant to me, and now, when my grown kids ask me for things, I tell them the same thing. I'm just glad to be able to help you.
@andreegross Жыл бұрын
I love this.
@apuriiot Жыл бұрын
I second that!! ^
@654Crossman5 жыл бұрын
Im officially addicted to this channel. I got some issues that Im not getting into, but these videos make me feel like Im restoring my better, past self, that I thought was gone, long ago
@samulimiettinen80436 жыл бұрын
1. No problem -> Happy to help (reinforces friendships) 2. You screwed up -> There's a mistake, help me figure it out 3. This isn't great but... 4. You always/never followed up with something negative -> When you say ___, I feel like ___. 5. In emails: I'd love to learn from you (an ask) -> I could give you these insights (a give)
@des88336 жыл бұрын
I'm a host at a restaurant and some people are so rude automatically! A lady came up to me today and in a harsh tone, with her finger wagging, said "We need our bill. We've been waiting FOREVER and nobody has given it to us." I apologized, printed one out, walked over to her table, but there was a receipt already on the edge, just behind a plate so somehow none of the six customers at that table saw it. >.>
@tehwinnerz50065 жыл бұрын
Desi Gayh I hope you corrected them
@PongoXBongo5 жыл бұрын
@@tehwinnerz5006 I hope she didn't. Pick your battles. This one was small enough to just let it go. Not worth the ego hit to the customer and their dislike of her for hitting them (metaphorically speaking). Don't fight assholery with more assholery. ;)
@S4R1N5 жыл бұрын
It's really hard for us in Australia, because the majority of our common phrases is saying what something 'isn't'. "Where's the shops?" - "Not far" "How are you?" - "Not bad" "When do they arrive? - "Not long"
@charlescalthrop25355 жыл бұрын
S4R1N I know...
@saintsfps53485 жыл бұрын
ye nah
@legendsneverdie25915 жыл бұрын
Not often
@chrismoore13725 жыл бұрын
roundabout?
@CynicznyZiemniaczek5 жыл бұрын
I like that, actually. Short and everyone knows what do you mean.
@Rattattattatt5 жыл бұрын
The four pieces of non-violent communication are: 1.) Observation - "When I see/hear x" 2.) Emotion - "I feel y" 3.) Needs - "I need to know (you care/your intention)/feel (safe/heard)/z" 4.) Request - "Would you be willing to (help me understand where you're coming from)/a?" Reminded me of point 4.
@justme88414 жыл бұрын
Thank you :)
@nigelblue54272 жыл бұрын
Yikes! When I see this, I hear the slow death of organic relationships. How cookie-cutter this must feel like when you figure out someone is reciting a list, in their head, when longer convos. present... I see its uses maybe, but to me having preemptive EXPECTATIONS for how a "good" convo. goes, is a big turn off. Girls will boil over in your face at any point, anywhere, and that's acceptable behavior. Not for guys. So let's crowd that double-standard bubble some more with endless tests. Smh. Girls don't give chances to respectable guys, only the attractive ones.
@BassFlapper6 жыл бұрын
I like that you always give alternatives to what you're trying to stop. You don't just say; "That thing you do is stupid, stop it", you rather say "Its better if you do this that way and here's why ... "
@JayneNicoletti6 жыл бұрын
I never understood why people are so mean to waiters. Great advice in this one though. I always rephrase my arguments with my hubby lol. Also, I need to stop putting myself down before showing something I created. Love the give at end of email; going to use that at work.
@YeaaaboiAlwin6 жыл бұрын
Because they like spit in their food maybe?
@YeaaaboiAlwin6 жыл бұрын
I also worked in fast food and have many buddies who have. I don't get angry easily but know many of my republican friends who do that. Here in California at least.
@YeaaaboiAlwin6 жыл бұрын
Probably more my location in California.
@You-are-right-but6 жыл бұрын
Jayne Nicoletti Hi, I used to have a student who did that (saying things like, "i haven't been able to do my homework well but here it is, sorry"). I always saw it as a pre-self-destructive move to garner sympathy or as a ploy to stop me from having to critique the work. I coached the student out of this habit because i wanted the student to let the work speak for itself. Hope this inspires. Best of luck with your hubby!
@darkwinter60286 жыл бұрын
There is a restaurant nearby that I frequent; and by a: being a “regular”, and b: going out of my way to be NICE to the staff (waiters thru cook & floor management) I get much nicer service... for example, if I order an appetizer, I’ll often find that there’s a few extra pieces more thrown in than is listed on the menu. Oh, and it helps to leave tips, too... people often forget that waiters are taxed by the IRS based on presumed tips, no matter if they got that tip or not... 🤔
@shaunessystuart33205 жыл бұрын
I was actually taught that the preemptive disqualification was a good thing when it comes to getting what you want because the other person often wants to prove you wrong. Like “hey I know you’re so busy and probably don’t have time but...” they’re more likely to say yes because you’ve already used up their excuse to say no, yet you’re still giving them a way out and showing appreciation for their help. Plus when you do it when it comes to yourself, “I’m not a great singer, but here goes..” they’re more likely to be impressed because you already set low expectations. This has worked in all my college classes..you get a lot more help when you don’t raise everyone’s expectations of you as well...and giving people the opportunity to help you makes them feel more valuable, which does increase your charisma
@kirbylover37 Жыл бұрын
Who taught you this?
@esther17655 жыл бұрын
Charisma on Command is probably the only channel that I regularly re-watch (the older videos) and check emails for new updates.
@matthewmcmatthewson65786 жыл бұрын
When you (punch me in the face), i feel (injured).
@OurNewestMember6 жыл бұрын
You screwed up my face.
@YourNeighborhoodCaat6 жыл бұрын
This isn’t great, but I’d appreciate you not punching my face.
@oh_dat_guy47406 жыл бұрын
When you (call me your friend), I feel (straight depressed).
@KryztalKitsu5 жыл бұрын
I think there may have been a fist slammed into my face. Could you help me get to the bottom of this?
@BillyOnYouTube6 жыл бұрын
"Dad, when you curse at me, I feel bad" "Then don't give me a reason to curse at you" :'[
@arikakarin23234 жыл бұрын
Dad : good
@ayostap67004 жыл бұрын
At least you have a dad. Mine hasn't come back from the gas station with the milk yet-
@BillyOnYouTube4 жыл бұрын
@@ayostap6700 Update: My dad just died.
@Peayou...4 жыл бұрын
@@BillyOnKZfaq I'm so sorry
@petitroque14993 жыл бұрын
No dad should curse at his children
@YokoshimaOfficial5 жыл бұрын
In summary, Beautify and sharpen your vocabulary.
@liamdalton795 жыл бұрын
"you screwed up" How common is this phrase really? It's incredibly rude, I'd never ever say that to a total stranger let alone a friend
@Th3Espr3ss05 жыл бұрын
Unfortunately it's very common working with the public. Work at least 3 days as a cashier and you'll have some jerk trashing your very existence.
@sunwolf875 жыл бұрын
It's more common than you think. In fact my last job psychologically conditioned me to accept blame for the misfortune of others even when it's my fault; my boss called it 'holding myself accountable.' It's what I had to do to survive the job. That's just one example of how I've been psychologically scarred by different aspects of life; work, school, home.
@strivingfornewhorizons92814 жыл бұрын
I had a 'friend' who constantly used it on me. Whenever something slightly went wrong, he went "You screwed up" (not as a joke, he was serious). It just makes you feel bad and you don't want to tell that person anything anymore cause you feel like you're constantly disappointing them. It also feels like they're being really aggressive, even if that's probably not the case
@JCarlito194 жыл бұрын
In the retail/restaurant industry, things like that are actually very common. Please be nice to the people that work in those types of establishments, they deal with all kinds of crap, and have almost no power at all to do anything about it, except take it and keep going.
@edennis85784 жыл бұрын
@@strivingfornewhorizons9281 I hate to tell you, but your "friend" is a toxic narcissist. One of their games (yes, it's a game to them) is to make you feel bad about yourself at every possible chance. I learned the hard way not to tell anyone anything about myself until I knew they would never hold it against me, and I can count the number of people on one hand. There are things I've never even told my husband, and we've been together for 25 years. That's why we've been together for 25 years.
@zXDaishiXz6 жыл бұрын
Most Charismatic part of your vid was leaving the main points and time stamps in description; thanks.
@alicehermioneannabeth6 жыл бұрын
I love that you give substitution to the "bad" phrases. You're not simply showing their existance, but also providing solutions
@Spritzkrieg5 жыл бұрын
#1 is one of my favorite lessons, because I consciously utilize both the "right" and "wrong" phrases. Sometimes, you *don't* want someone to think you hugely value them... as terrible as that may sound.
@Victoria-jh9uf Жыл бұрын
Right, because they may then take them for granted.
@DL-in5kw Жыл бұрын
It’s great to kinda realise that half these things along with other charisma stuff that regards politeness and presentation is something you can figure out on your own the older you get. Rather quickly too, if you pay attention to how you act and take people’s reactions/feelings into consideration.
@Berbs736 жыл бұрын
I have an aunt who always says "That's ok" instead of "your welcome". I always thought that was very strange.
@Blast-Forward6 жыл бұрын
LOL! Like this: "Thank you so much!" - "That's ok."
@Berbs736 жыл бұрын
BlastForward Yes! She says that every time I receive a gift from her.
@Blast-Forward6 жыл бұрын
:D Sounds, hm ... modest?
@Dizma_Music6 жыл бұрын
Freeyourmind - I say that... o___o or "it's cool". Damn.
@AfterEightShave6 жыл бұрын
"happy to help" seems like a weird way to phrase it...like if someone said it to me it'd feel a bit too much to me. I guess an "any time" or "of course" would do just fine right?
@ADDIDASSSSSSSSSSSSSS5 жыл бұрын
When you first meet a woman, it's good to tell her right away that your Mom says that you are a catch.
@stopwritingthatreplyjohnat66385 жыл бұрын
sshhh don't tell anyone or the secret society will be having words with you
@ProjectEchoshadow4 жыл бұрын
Tried this, it works
@susansauls89024 жыл бұрын
And this comment explains your name.
@pinkpills2 жыл бұрын
please nooo
@robjeezy5000 Жыл бұрын
I love how you talk about framing. I have a friend that often starts a sentence with “I saw this thing that I thought you’d really like…”. He immediately has my attention and makes me feel important because he’s thinking about me and looking out for me.
@vishwammishra80616 жыл бұрын
am i the only one who say "you're welcome"?
@IgnoreMeImWrong6 жыл бұрын
No, but it isn't much better. It's more of a neutral statement that implies there was effort, you enjoyed it, but that it wasn't a big deal.
@tommywood21355 жыл бұрын
I’ve tried to to stop saying you’re welcome. It’s a command when someone says thank you and you are welcome. You are actually saying “yea you should be thankful”
@shooterF645 жыл бұрын
I often say "my pleasure"
@Hempfuelgroup5 жыл бұрын
You're unwelcome when they dont say anything
@LondonDisperses5 жыл бұрын
I think saying "You're welcome!" with a genuine inflection in your voice, turning your head to look at the person you're saying it to, and smiling when you say it can be extremely effective. You're telling someone they're welcome to your time and help whenever they need it. It's useful in situations where "I'm happy to help!" can come across as a bit over-the-top to the type of person you're speaking to. I like a sincere and positive "You're welcome!"
@TeacherRoger6 жыл бұрын
The secret of his charisma is having 74 teeth.
@MasonOfLife6 жыл бұрын
Are they human teeth?
@yoyo_ftw6 жыл бұрын
What?
@oracleofdewphi6 жыл бұрын
#6 - Don’t ruin your charisma by being needlessly insulting in the comments section.
@masonward24016 жыл бұрын
I can see every one of his teeth when he talks. Is this what you mean..?
@ArtsyMark6 жыл бұрын
ROLF. thank you @Rerreiera for the intiail laugh, then @Yeah for the kicker!!!
@resourcefulhedgehog9362 жыл бұрын
0:45: No Problem. Instead say "I'm Happy To Help" 1:49: You screwed up. Instead be passive and more polite and say "I think there's a mistake.." 3:29 Don't start something by saying it will be bad. Instead say nothing or add something that relates to the viewers 4:47 You always/ You Never. Instead say "When you say....., it....." 6:29 Don't sign off by "asking". Instead "give" :D
@preranapradeep39635 жыл бұрын
''when you do blank, I feel blank'' - Charlie Houpert
@thebrownnomad91626 жыл бұрын
I am glad I saw this video today. It was so helpful. I was sad and upset today. This video made me realize that I could make myself better.
@DeJake6 жыл бұрын
I've actually done the first one a lot lately, thank you so much for this!
@DeJake6 жыл бұрын
And number three...
@merkovomerk68026 жыл бұрын
My only response is no problem cuz I can't care enough tbh
@billy18215 жыл бұрын
you'd make a great Joker with that bright smile :)
@Red_Wright13575 жыл бұрын
Then he could be Jack Napier of Batman: White Knight.
@LadyVoldemort5 жыл бұрын
Scares me actually...
@user-bd1yv8gd5x5 жыл бұрын
Michelle I was looking for this comment lol
@draconshot9285 жыл бұрын
If were talking villians two face works well, and hush maybe
@astronomie19614 жыл бұрын
Michelle why does this sound so rude
@maddiesmith64295 жыл бұрын
the first one “no problem” BRUH I USE THAT AT LEAST 50 TIMES A DAY AT MY JOB i hate my life
@MadMalMan5 жыл бұрын
Crazy vid. Just think if you used it 50 times that is 50 times people have thought what you doesn't matter because it wasn't a problem. Instead of 50 times where you went out of your way to make things easier at work.
@peterleo68405 жыл бұрын
That’s your choice. You could say “you’re welcome” or something else positive. No problem just sounds lazy and careless.
@greenspark1016 жыл бұрын
#1 is literally me 24/7. THANK YOU. Because sometime it is a problem but I did it anyway because I appreciate people.
@purpledragon26786 жыл бұрын
I do numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. Thanks to this video I may be able to fix that. Thank you for all the help. I have a whole playlist of your videos and I can't wait to start substiuting in all these tips. You're a lifesaver.
@Mizreg5 жыл бұрын
Wow dude, some of these points (specifically 1, 3 and 5) actually blew me away. I feel like I always kinda knew these things subconsciously, but never clearly enough to apply them consistently or realize when they were impeding me. I feel like your channel has the potential to teach me a lot, and despite your advise against saying this: thanks in advance. Keep up the great work!
@mihai31172 жыл бұрын
Your writing and delivery are really good. Very professional and well documented. I actually managed to remember entire courses worth of information, university level, on the subject of conflict management and psychology, just from this very well organised video. Keep up the good work!
@laura-hx7ko6 жыл бұрын
1. "Hey what's up guys it's scarce here" 2. "It's your host kiiiiiiiiiiiller keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemstar" 3. "Hey, Vsauce, Michael here"
@thomson42476 жыл бұрын
4. Sup you beautiful bastards hope you are having a faàaaaaaantastic Tuesday. Welcome back to the Philip defranco show and let's just jump into it
@Harsh_Singh0076 жыл бұрын
5.Whats up squadfam
@ubaidshah19106 жыл бұрын
8. Hey adoomy gang, hope your having a wonderful fantastic, amazing day, because im having a wonderful fantastic amazing day so you should be having a wonderful amazing fantaastic day!
@conorcremin40246 жыл бұрын
Stewart Ashton you are an sjw
@mediumraretunafish96216 жыл бұрын
10. Hey what's up you guys YAS
@Crazelord916 жыл бұрын
Just found your channel recently. My business requires a lot of prospecting and client interactions and your videos have really given me a lot of great advice and tips to increase my social effectiveness, plus you’re also entertaining. Thanks for the videos, big fan!
@joannaedwards63255 жыл бұрын
SO VERY HELPFUL!!! I'm 73 and learning all the time. Your channel is now one of my GO TO LIVE BETTER info channels. I'm getting better all the time. CHANGING for the better is SO MUCH FUN!!! Thank you so very much.
@philvideofilm5 жыл бұрын
Props for either using a teleprompter or learning your material by heart. Very professional.
@sunwolf875 жыл бұрын
He's using what's called 'extemporaneous delivery.' It's how he's able to do entire sections without jump cuts, mistakes or hitches. The guy obviously has a LOT of public speaking experience. As someone who also does, I can tell. I learned it in college, and it's one of the best skills I've cultivated for myself.
@justinotherday61996 жыл бұрын
I’m really surprised with all of the negativity in the comment section. As a human communication researcher, I can assure you that there is an abundance of support for each of these points in psychological and communicative scholarly literature! Nice work. Very interesting and informative stuff.
@2ManArmy166 жыл бұрын
the phycopaths guide to acting like an everyday human ☺ still love this channel though😂
@andrefortin99176 жыл бұрын
The Forgotten Place did you mean sociopath? Like the BBC Sherlock Holmes? Love that show and this channel 👍
@2ManArmy166 жыл бұрын
André Fortin yeah technically- I bet quiete a few watch both....
@ronaldgump14366 жыл бұрын
He literally is a sociopath. He gets messages from people who genuinely want to help him, and all he does is explain how those helpful people let themselves be vulnerable. This is why the whole politics and hollywood scene is so cancerous
@2ManArmy166 жыл бұрын
Arr Ere nah he had it right. Sociopaths do care but only for selfish reasons. They stop caring the moment the other no longer has any value to offer, being seen as vulnerable could be seen as "this person is weak and will not be of any service" the moment that happens, the charm usually stops too and that's when they really don't care and can become aggressive and the usual sociopathic behavior begins
@Dizma_Music6 жыл бұрын
The Forgotten Place - "The Guide to How to Human"? 😝
@KaiserMikael5 жыл бұрын
#4 "Only a Sith deals in Absolutes..."
@Dontwannabeafangirl5 жыл бұрын
I say "Any time!" because *ain't no mountain high enough starts playing*
@erikvanconover6 жыл бұрын
Love your content guys!!
@Charismaoncommand6 жыл бұрын
~ Glad you're digging the content man!
@M0kki3 жыл бұрын
@Fart Blackson you really screwed that up dude
@M0kki3 жыл бұрын
@Fart Blackson yeah, i guess you did
@_justnick6 жыл бұрын
"When you blank, i feel blank" 5:27 that was deep bruh
@PongoXBongo5 жыл бұрын
Actually, it kind of is. When you . ;)
@trublgrl Жыл бұрын
@3:19 the part about pre-emptive disqualification is apt for many aspects of interaction. I don't consider myself very attractive, and one day, I realized I was actually saying "I'm not attractive" out loud, in so many ways. And guess what? That's how people treated me! Now I know I'm not a beauty queen, but just never saying that, or telling people I'm gorgeous, even in a tongue-in-cheek manner, frames me as a person with high self-esteem and higher worth. Even if it doesn't actually make me more attractive, it makes me FEEL more attractive to just stop putting my negativity in the air in the first place.
@tommorrissey50375 жыл бұрын
When messaging people I always sign off with, "Thank you for your time and consideration". I do this to let the other person know that I appreciate them taking time out of their day to read my message and for also taking the time to consider how to respond or help with the issue at hand.
@vladb4206 жыл бұрын
No problem Charlie, we'll try not screw up these tips and I don't know if everyone agrees but you always make great videos so thanks in advance.
@dirtyscalper55846 жыл бұрын
Over-analyzing "no problem" is quite a problem here...most of us when we say it, we certainly do not have any poor intentions and it generally just comes from a genuine place.
@principality5436 жыл бұрын
32 Yr Old Casual Food Industry Worker love your username
@IvoryMane5 жыл бұрын
He’s saying to reinforce the favor and build a trust by establishing you’re happy to help. No problem is still valid, but it’s a missed opportunity to show you genuinely care.
@justahuman92735 жыл бұрын
I think you both are right. Yes, you both above me! I think "happy to help" is an oppurtunity to express your genuine happiness doing good to a person and the act itself expresses it without words.
@b3a3n3a3n3a3s5 жыл бұрын
Yeah I don’t think that would make any difference or that anyone notices or gives a shit
@84Elenai5 жыл бұрын
My pleasure or thank YOU are so much better, especially with costumers. It sounds completely different, in my opinion.
@blue-phoenix1155 жыл бұрын
The first one "No Problem" was very helpful.
@prestonshively86185 жыл бұрын
Ikr I say no problem all the time
@gabrieljohnson1612 жыл бұрын
Another thing to say besides happy to help when you do a favor is “any time” but don’t say this every time because this could get you used but it’s gonna show your trustworthy and build a stronger relationship
@scottkosmach31706 жыл бұрын
9 minutes with 0 cuts. Very impressive. Oh, great content too. Thank you
@Charismaoncommand6 жыл бұрын
~ Thanks Scott! Glad you're digging the content. :-)
@jaredj6316 жыл бұрын
The always a negative thing is key. Never speak in absolutes. And call out people who do, it derails conversations and change them into arguments
@jacobrichins7069 Жыл бұрын
Rewatching this years later and HOLY COW the second one is actually way more common than I thought, I worked in a call center for about a year and helped with a lot of billing/scheduling issues. I probably talked to thousands of people who came out swinging saying “you screwed up, fix it right now” and MOST of the time, they were actually wrong but since they already established that they can’t be wrong, they ended up causing so much headache not only for everyone trying to help them but mostly for themselves because it just drags out the problem!! Its surprising but it’s actually sooo rare to hear someone say “I think there may be a mistake..” and TRUST ME those customers always ended up getting the most golden service.
@Beercorn863 жыл бұрын
Oddly enough, when somebody says thank you, my go-to phrase is “No problem. I’m happy to help.” I don’t know why. “No problem” just feels natural but then I’m also inclined to follow it up with “Happy to help”, I guess for the same reasons you mentioned but after all these years, it’s just become a habit.
@thebahooplamaster6 жыл бұрын
Heck yeah. Now im gonna try to use this advice irl and fail miserably!
@AndrewMystx6 жыл бұрын
thebahooplamaster And you are gonna try and try again :)
@jakepualferlife86316 жыл бұрын
thebahooplamaster hold up why have I seen you
@duanerackham95676 жыл бұрын
Guilty of number 3
@jamesbravo89426 жыл бұрын
Jake pual Ferlife u saw him in prison
@nightwolf99516 жыл бұрын
thebahooplamaster practice till perfection
@waterbender196 жыл бұрын
Charlies so likable im shook... his persona and charisma make it clear that taking his advice is gonna be effective
@alexsmith29106 жыл бұрын
Agree completely. This is proof of what ghandi said: "You must be the change you want to see in this world." Charlie takes his own advice and that solidifies it as working.
@robinshahan5778 Жыл бұрын
Empaths often can be "door mats " I spent my life evolving to stay true to myself while caring about others. Throughout my life even as a child, I have come to realize that anyone who crosses my path, that I feel are falling off a cliff.. my instincts are to reach out immediately. I believe in communication without anger. Stay on subject not for anyone to go " below the belt " I have majority of my life appeared to put others well being above my own. Without regret. In my senior years, I am doing my best to combine looking out for others and looking out for myself. I completely relate to his words. Always have wondered where are the people from my planet 🤔 ? 😁🙃 3/6/23
@leebard93354 жыл бұрын
I found the first part hilarious, because I usually say "Oh, no problem! Happy to help."
@ErikPelyukhno6 жыл бұрын
I’m super grateful for all of your videos! You’ve played a major role in my growth and improving my social skills and understanding people.
@Charismaoncommand6 жыл бұрын
~ Glad to hear you're finding them helpful Erik!
@TheHyena-ru8bz6 жыл бұрын
Thanks for "No problem" I hate saying it but it became a habit. Definitely going to use all this advice.
@TheSchemer16 жыл бұрын
I tend to say "No worries" or "pleasure" its an English thing, I would have always thought no problem always meant that helping the friend is - well literally saying happy to help.
@markhartford9843 Жыл бұрын
My most common response to someone saying 'Thank you' is 'Anytime'. I feel it strengthens the trust bond with someone and lets them know that they can feel free to approach me with anything they need help with at 'anytime'. That being said, I am an 'Alpha Male' with highly aggressive tendencies that easily gets hurt. As my response mechanism to being hurt is usually anger with the propensity for transitioning to violence quickly, I am learning ALOT from watching your videos. They are making a difference and I wanted you to know this as it's nice to know that the work you put in is not for naught and it is VERY POSITIVELY affecting peoples' lives and lifestyles. TYVM. My family and friendship dynamics have greatly benefited from the implementation of what I have learned and am learning by watching your videos, which are both done well and easy to understand as well as, IMHO, very professional. Take care, man and keep 'em coming!
@varun52312 жыл бұрын
Regarding number 1. I find myself saying “no problem” when helping someone I really care about. It didn’t occur to me that it may have been lost in translation, but I guess I say it because I don’t want the other person feel guilty for asking a favour (because I know I feel uncomfortable asking for help myself!) But this is an interesting point, I’ll consider it
@AzureSymbiote6 жыл бұрын
Saying "like" within your sentences destroys your charisma. Thank you for the tips.
@smoot23376 жыл бұрын
I've caught myself constantly saying like in the middle of my sentences and it absolutely irritates me, are there possibly any suggestions for other words or ways to remove the need to say it repeatedly?
@AzureSymbiote6 жыл бұрын
Crank that Nipple Clamp. Start by replacing 'like' with 'such as'. Then whenever you use either try to just pause your speech instead.
@iamachinesepetwholies54766 жыл бұрын
Wow I never knew saying "no problem" can kill charisma, it's just like in my opinion, it's like the word I use to any person who expresses gratitude all the time, thanks for the informative video, I definitely learned alot today
@rachelclapper97624 жыл бұрын
You could also say "you're welcome" along with "happy to help"
@johnbockmann2 жыл бұрын
I like his insistence that we speak to everyone with the same respect. I do well with restaurant and office staff, but I forget it with some people who want things from me. I can & should still treat them with respect.
@gibsonedu6 жыл бұрын
I've heard the 'no problem' before. I generally use 'my pleasure.'
@C.muril06 жыл бұрын
I generally use 'whatever'
@nickbowers20956 жыл бұрын
"Anytime" works pretty well too
@miklas-dj9kd6 жыл бұрын
Saying "no problem" isn't in any way implying "if it had been a problem, I might not had done it", nor is implying if there was a cost, you wouldn't have done it. What you're saying is "it's not a problem to help you out". They're already thanking you for your help. No reason to make a bigger deal out of it than it is. I actually think more highly of people when they go out of their way to help me and brush it off like it's not a big deal by using phrases like "no problem" or "any time". Makes it seem like they're just naturally helpful people or that helping me out is a no-brainer.
@tobs40986 жыл бұрын
Finally
@jorisbuster6 жыл бұрын
You are absolutely right that it stems from that expression and intention but I think often people will interpret things differently than strictly logical, and of course some people, like yourself, are more rational and introspective and this effect wouldn't occur, but then also a lot of people don't really think that much about their interactions with people leaving them easily influenced by wording. What do you think?
@bluetooth55626 жыл бұрын
Buster Franken I agree with this, I have friends that wouldn't think twice about word usage in thanking someone, and another groups of friends that are very self-conscious that are annoyed with the "no problem" deal. Are we really upgrading our speech, or eliminating phrases we don't like based on personal perspective is what I'd like to ask.
@atsuyak7686 жыл бұрын
miklas1911 I disagree. No problem seems quite emotionless. Happy to help seems much more sentimental.
@hermiliocarvalhojr.72086 жыл бұрын
You’re right - the intention is good and both people are probably happy in the interaction. However, it might apply a little differently to the human psyche; we mostly ignore the word “no”. If in an interaction a person hears “no problem”, “you are never boring”, or “that wasn’t bad, most might remember only “problem”, “boring” and “bad” - and not the real compliment you want to pass along.
@v.v3655 жыл бұрын
That first one made me realize how often I say “no problem” or even “no problemo” to seem more fun but what I’m actually doing is keeping potentially good friends at a distance
@gregkral4467 Жыл бұрын
Dude, I love your smile, it is contagious. As well, I find your presentations invaluable, so important, I am not very good at communication, and often dread interactions, even though at 47, have gotten used to it, but not good with stress in some communications. My Son, has trouble with communication and social interaction, and then I saw youl here, you are amazing, and you have been such a boon with useful tools and observations to not only help myself with communication and social cues, but also, you help me do a better job to help my children and ex's by helping me realize when I mess up, and how to do it better. You are worth your weight in platinum, I really want you to know how much you have made a difference. Thank you so very much. A big fan over here, sir.
@xerospacious40246 жыл бұрын
Your face is so animated. It's great.
@jliller5 жыл бұрын
When someone says "Thank you" don't try to be clever just say "You're welcome."
@LadyVoldemort5 жыл бұрын
Agreed. For some people, the simpler the better. Trying too hard and to self aware make you fake.
@thebrodie85703 жыл бұрын
@@LadyVoldemort I think his point was about those situations where you did something significant for another person and saying "you're welcome" is acceptable, but saying "happy to help" would reinforce the relationship better.
@bethgibson43845 жыл бұрын
At Wachovia (precursor of Wells Fargo) they spent a large amount of money researching “No problem”! It has a negative context- people hear “problem” & it makes them uncomfortable. If we said “no problem” it was a terminating offense! It was in my contract. We were forbidden to use it. So, today, when someone says it to me, I look them in the eye, and they are implying either me or something I’m ordering or requesting is a problem- when one says, “thank you”, one should respond, “ you’re welcome” or “my pleasure” - NOT “no problem”. I didn’t realize the power of words, but, wow, yes, totally agree!
@vivekbarchha5 жыл бұрын
That's very interesting. I usually reply in a more friendly manner myself, like "sure thing buddy" * rather than "no problem."
@siskananamuk472 жыл бұрын
I say, "No problem..." followed with some clarification that this was no problem because not only am I happy but also grateful to assist you. To good friends, acquaintances, even strangers. As if, no matter what I have to overcome, it really would be no issue for me to help you. I'm delighted to use this time, fuel, or other resources that might otherwise be difficult to obtain, for your sake. Everyone seems to enjoy being a delight to another, and I am indeed delighted. Also, for the rest of these tips, I'm so grateful I paid attention in my first and second year classes, especially my communications class, because these things have helped me in life. This video is so accurate.