Alcoholic Narcissist = Absolute Nightmare,😏🚩🏃‍♀️

How an alcoholic narc tries to accuse EVERYONE else of being an alcoholic is just perverse

Alcohol magnifies their manipulative behaviors - especially coverts. The narcs I know will never admit any wrongdoing.

I am sick and tired of these narcs hurting me and my family.😡

I work in addiction treatment…I cannot emphasize enough how fiercely a narcissist will hold on to their BS rather than make an effort to recover. They will be sleeping on the streets, literally, before they will admit THEY need to do something differently. Alcoholism and addiction is often a fatal disease in their case.

Before I knew what a narcissist was I blamed everything on his being an alcoholic. I probably put up with it longer thinking if he could stop drinking he’d be better- now I know his cruelty is baked in and alcohol amplifies it

That was my childhood. We kids knew to get out of the house when Friday rolled around, but one always stayed behind to make sure he didn’t kill mom. We still suffer.

Yes. They spill the beans when they are drunk and don't remember the next day.

The unhinged sadistic monster you encounter when they're drinking is their true self. One time in a rare moment of honesty he told me about how before he met me he would have women come over just to scream at and verbally abuse to the point of tears. He admitted he just got a kick out of it.

Yup, my husband put his hands around my neck last Christmas Eve. I am disgusted with him. I’m getting divorced soon. I am worth so much more.

They become totally obstinate, argumentative, and don't care if their actions are bothering you.

i will always remember when he told me while being piss drunk after i asked him : why do you even love me ? he replied with a big smile on his face and so much confidence: " because you are stupid enough to love me " . And that is when i knew , lol

Drug ADDICTED narcissists uninhibited is a complete waste of human emotion. Yes, alcohol and other drug substances will not help the narcissist whatsoever and only makes them worse.

A narc will blame you for his alcoholism and subsequent money problems. Narc will spend $400-500 / month on expensive alcohol and blame spouse/family for money problems. Will chastise you for having 1 beer, but then sit up at night and drink 6 beers (gaslighting). Won’t admit to any personal flaw, will diagnose insomnia, when in reality it’s alcoholism, no care or thought to have good health to show up at one’s best for own children.

He was drinking heavily. Every day. He had two states then - one was severe depression during which he wanted to be left alone, and the other one was raging devil, during which I was exposed to humiliation and devaluation and physical violence.

Lived this for 5 years. Still healing 3 years out. Would not wish this experience on anyone, thank you for spreading your message and advice. It is helping more than you know.

My narcissist would normally drink 5-6 beers every evening. Then he would call me and be bubbly and silly - delightful. Then the night he discarded me, he had been drinking hard alcohol. He insulted my cat, my dog, my medical supplies- everything he considered imperfect about me. He was horrid and I never spoke to him again. But there was a distinct difference between the beers and the hard alcohol.

I will heal and thrive. Ive exposed this narcissist. His family had his number and want nothing to do with him. My grandma was so right years ago when she whispered in my ear..get rid of the monster 👻 👽. Love u grandma 👵 ❤️ 😊

YOU ARE TOTALLY ON POINT WITH EVERYTHING YOU ARE SAYING. I survived with my life by running for my life. I literally left everything!!😢❤

my fav. part is the insults they blurt out. tells you exactly how they feel. you must never believe them when sober and claiming they do not mean it. yes they do.

I have seen it so many times and it is what happens to narcisists when they drink alcohol. It is scary to witness.

It’s scary what substances like alcohol can do to a narc.

They become monsters and go into complete denial over their actions. It is indescribable!

Thank you Danish for being such a Beautiful light for people like me who are beyond devastated because they have lived their WHOLE life with these awful demons around.😰🤢🤮👿👹💀☠ I don't want to live anymore but i love my pets too much and i live for them. Some narcs are much worse than Satan and the fact that a girl like me is not protected by anyone is so scary.🥶

This is how my narc husband behaves normally. He's a bully. And he always gets away with it bc he flips a switch when the police come. He's giggly and friendly. Cops fall for it everytime. Especially the female officers.

They get worse in every way. The only time he would cry was when he had too much alcohol. He would rage at out more easily over nothing. He would get meaner too.

Hey I subscribed to this channel a long time ago when I was trapped in a really abusive relationship with a narcissist and your videos helped me realize how I was being treated and why I was being treated a certain way and it helped me finally escape that relationship. Thank you for your videos they actually really help and they do reach the target audience.

So true, begged him to stop after beating me so many times. A true monster, addicted to alcohol and always blamed the vodka and started to drink beer. Went to his parents to another country and did nothing, you know why, he knows what he's doing all the time and can control himself, his image Infront of his family and neighbours is more important than his wife. In the end he lost his driver license

Wow! You just explained so much. I actually had no experience w people, alcohol problems. I never saw this person acting drunk. In fact, he didnt drink in front of me. It was holiday time, I had a dinner party. I made a French apple tart for dessery, served a melon ball sized scoop of rum raisin ice cream. A few hrs after everyone left I got this horrific phone call accusing me of purposely undermining his attempted sobriety by serving him store bought non alcoholic ice cream! He drank something somewhere, got ticketed by police, and it was all my fault! I later learned he had many other incidents and this ended our friendship. Never taking responsibility for anything, nothing they will not do, no lie they will not tell. Thank you bcs you explained it perfectly.❤️

Danish that is spot on. Thankyou. My son has NPD & an alcoholic. His behaviour in drinking was appalling. Now, in recovery & and the 12 steps in recovery, I thought his behaviour would change. In fact, it was the opposite. In Sobriety, the narcissistic symptoms & behaviour were more visible without inebriation. It was then I realised he had NPD. All his hatred is on me & he has completely cut me off. Both his adult children do not have a relationship with him. I have much peace without him in my life. However, the mothering wound & loss are still bleeding.

Oh wow... an Alcoholic Narcissist. Just seeing those two words together gave me a headache. God help those who have to deal with that 🙏🏼

My ex was also an alcoholic. He was the worst person you can imagine when drunk, which was every night for a long time. He would nonchalantly tell me stories about his sexual experiences with exes just to hurt me, come to bed and call me names out of nowhere, pick fights even worse than his normal ones, etc. He did sober up for a few months, and he wasn't nearly as mean at night, but he still wasn't the nice guy I first got together with. It was during this time that I realized I was dealing with much more than an alcoholic, and that alcohol only made his existing issues worse. I still had no idea what was wrong with him, but it did become clear that alcohol was just magnifying a different issue he had, which ended up being NPD!

Was waiting for this. Very triggering and also helps somehow after 6 years married to an alcoholic narcissist. As soon as I had money, i finally left him. Has taken me years and still i can be triggered and go backwards

I lived with this for decades. The last few years were absolute hell. Thank you Danish for your videos. I discovered you after the divorce. I have no contact with him and neither do my adult children.

I come from a Narcissistic family system, where alcohol was used on a regular basis & was intertwined with everything. I'm sorry I can't answer your question; it is too overwhelming, toxic & unwieldy to even begin to unravel. I do not have contact with the alcoholics in my family any longer & through realizing I myself had alcohol problems quite a while ago. I started attending 12-step mtgs, & did what they suggested I do. It seems like all of the narcissists in my family all had alcohol problems & were probably alcoholics & that all of the "problem drinkers" in my family were narcissistic in some way or another. I used to drink a lot & think I was narcissistic at some times in my life but I found a solution to stop my drinking...

Yep had one of those. He ran me down with his truck when I left him and he was drunk out of his mind. Thank God he died almost a year ago. He wouldn't let go of me even after I left. I found out when I was 69 what a narcissist was finding teachers like this site. Thankvu for teaching people. I tell others to listen.

The reason I divorced my last husband…there will be no more!

Spot on. Don't forget the hang over behavior. Miserable, in pain, sleeping off hangover. I'd stay outta way. Willful ignorance, forget the tornado they caused. Of course everyone else has the drinking problem.

Yes. A few days ago I managed to leave him. First time I resisted his hoovering. The last straw that helped me leave: on Friday night,drunk as he was, he was texting me pics of the beautiful singer lady performing on stage, whom he had gone to see, as she was an acquaintance of his, which I did't know. He texted me 'she is keeping me company'. At the same time when he was with the girl, he was sexting with me(on his own). A drunk grandiose narc's behaviour. I saw the real him. I confirmed that he does drink and that he does cheat on me. I snapped. I broke up. The devil dared hoover me s few days later. Now, he is furious with me. Yes, Danish, confessions due to alcohol. I fear his rage now. He is a co-worker. I 'll see him tomorrow. Does anyone feel disgusted?

Yes Danesh, my husband is one... however I am in therapy and am learning how to navigate these waters. Most often when he goes on tirades or tries to pick a fight/argument, I just stare at him and say ok... just like you recommended...to not engage in his lunacy...

Oh yes sir I know this type soo well mix it with other drugs and you'll want to skip every holiday , birthday and hope they just passes out somewhere in the corner before someone realizes they came with you..

Narcisists feel entitled to abusing substances and people and since we can only control ourselves, we should walk away from abusers .

I was always grateful my mother never drank, I can only imagine.

My first 20 yr marriage was to an alcoholic narc and it was horrible when he drank! And he groomed his son to became the same thing. His father would get so bad and called me the most horrible things and usually ruined whatever special occassion that was going on. And the next day woukd act like my hurt over what he did meant nothing because he was drunk whan he did what he did.

They become overly narcissistic

My alcoholic narc father. Instead of making him mellow and slow witted it turns him hyper machine gun abusive and life threatening physically abusive.

This is the person that I live with 😢

I was married to one .and I'll tell you this I was lucky to survive alive

My covert narc would stop being a bully when drunk. He would get stupid saying and doing stupid things and acting like an idiot then walking around outside swigging whisky and beer from the quart bottles.

Yeah I know that this is true as I’ve been the victim of a narcissistic person I’ve tried so many times to understand so now I’ve gone no contact and everything is my fault

Jekyl and Hyde.

Time to get your phone out and hit record!😄 What fun😂

Danish, thank you for your teaching us this. My dad was a alcoholic and a narcissist. thanks so much for helping us in recovery.

Their rage is nothing that you can put into words. Anything you say will trigger them and nothing will calm them down. Absolutely NOTHING!!!

Damn! He knows my mom well!

My ex husband would drink daily starting after that last cup of coffee until he passed out at night. Boy he vould go into a rage that would last 3-4 hours. I was blamed for everything under sun and called horrible names all so he could "express his emotions."

My husband was flirt with anyone with boobs! Right in front of me. Glad I’m done with him!

Alcohol does not make people do thi gs they don't want. It allows them to do what they want.

I agree💯✅️ this is exactly how my husband behaves....everytime i try to flee from him, I'm brought back (witchcraft, voodoo...) I and my son need complete freedom from this demon....God will make a way I believe...

He was way more aggressive and could get physical. He insisted on being focused on when he was drunk. It was more magnified. At one point he did try to stop drinking. When he started drinking again he blamed me. He wondered what was the point of stopping when I was still acting like he was the problem. I explained to him that there was something wrong with him and the alcohol just made it worst. (This was before I realized it was narcissism, the only thing he had been diagnosed with was ADHD. His behavior though did NOT seem to be that. At times it seemed almost like BPD. But the family members that I have that have it were nothing like him.)

What about weed addiction? My husband uses it to hide his narcissism/anger issues. He is super mean/on edge without it. It’s like Jekyll and Hyde 😭

Seen a parent like this for so long I stood up and fought for it voicing alone paying a big price for having done so. We don’t know we can fight as kids so we wait till we grow up to call some things out as a responsibility. Deep within I feel compassion for the hurt child that causes them to become this. I pray everyone gets to meditate for life and be aware and see who they are and what harm they caused others. Every point in this video especially the denying they ever said or did something so hurtful. And I see this in young friends too. How we have to stand up and recognize if at all we ever even slightly lean towards become a mirror of what we see growing up, it’s our responsibility to put our own foot down call ourselves our call the ones who caused all this out, forgive everything that happened in the past (some things can scar for the remainder of life if we give it that power) & I found my way from distance go no contact and risk being alone for life but I no longer will be ok with sitting and being fearful just cuz it’s adult or it’s another man or whatever. Unacceptable is unacceptable in any form. Still I want to approach it with compassion. That’s the most difficult part and mediation helps in this. Big time! We can chose to be the example be sober show them the way the light in darkness, even if often it would go misinterpreted. Thank you for this video and all you share. It’s really helpful 🙏

My dad was a alcoholic narcissist he used to come home from the pub at 1am and set fires in the garden or house

There are plenty of people who aren’t narcissists and have acted like that when they have had too much to drink. And people who barely drink. Alcohol has a unique way of converting anyone into a manic episode. This idea that anyone who drinks and then acts in any of these ways is a narcissist is absurd to me. Way more nuanced than that. I also love when drug and alcohol counclers chime in. Their whole industry is a scam. Success rate below 2%. Any business like that and yes it’s a business inthe private sector would be out on their ass in the first year. The only people they help are people who have decided to help themselves.

My alcoholic covert narcissist mother is a nasty drunk. She unexpectedly turned up drunk at my house the other week (a friend dropped her here at her suggestion). I try to never be in her presence when she has been drinking. I just sat almost holding my breath & not speaking, while waiting for my father to come and get her. She'd normally provoke me, but I've done a lot of work to get past my childhood. Next is working on the abuse from my covert narc ex.... It's depressing that I was somewhat primed to connect with people like them.

Mine was weirdly opposite she would get lovey dovey after she drank which she rarley did sober.

Thank you so much for addressing this topic! I've been involved with an alcoholic narcissist for 3 years. Scary stuff.

On today's episode we discuss: my dad 😂

My mom is always a mean drunk. Now I know why

So true the mask falls off as soon as they’re drinking alcohol! I couldn’t believe it when it 1 st happened I thought it was because they were drunk 🥴 oh no it just got worse! I’m 5 years free I moved away! Also called me the alcoholic 😮

My son is struggling with this. He stopped talking to me approximately six years ago. He blames me for everything. Six years ago he started was drinking heavy and started ranting. It was very scary how aggressive and angry he was. He had a lot of hard liquor that day/night. I am so concerned with his health.

I'm convinced there is a demonic spirit behind this narcissistic behavior.

My narc was getting very rude and more opened. And I had the feeling that she is more pleased about something. I never understood this, and was confused to see those complete opposite feelings (the hate from the argueing and her enjoyment) Now i understand it. ... Oh god

Sounds like my dad during his binge drinking days. At one point my mom moved us out from our house into my grandmother's house while he drank, womanized and acted like he was single. In looking back my mom was just as sick for enabling his behaviors and doing nothing to stop that from happening. I told her one day "Mom I would've have thrown his ass in jail as he deserved." It felt good to say that. 😆

Deal with one every year at thanksgiving

the narc i know actually only stays calm bc he gets his drinks… if that is taken away, he cannot sit with himself… then it gets worse… it’s better he gets what he wants

Absolutely emphasizes the worst in them.I actually saw the devil with 100 rows of teeth siblings, parent, cousin-in-law worked together 😭😱😱😱 they each had their turn until I was so broken left in desperation with my children 😞 . The very next day the boss would call as if nothing happened 😳 ambushing New Year’s Eve . It’s over now finally at peace they’re still alive except for the father and cousin-in-law . Is it bad if I don’t miss them? The boss is still kicking but lost 👆 these two. My poor mom is a puppet the drunken puppeteer’s only source along with my younger sister 🤷🏻‍♀️ once my mom goes in peace, she’s 92 will be the only time she’ll have peace poor mom. God said “ let vengeance be mine ““ Romans 12:19 . My children and I survived them we are very fortunate. When mom goes they don’t exist anymore 🌹

Happy Thanksgiving!

Alkohol the Amplifier Even after Helping in Her Recovery of Three Years the underlying issues problems still exist. Don't Be Fooled by Alkoholic Rehabilitation...Their Core is Corrupted

i have a child with an alcoholic narc, hes draining the life out of me... cant take it.... im 24 hes 30. he controls every aspect of my life, have no friends, moved me to a different state to isolate me from what little family i have. :( i feel defeated. theres no way out

The best way to get the TRUTH from a narcissist (or atleast their true feelings or opinions) is when they are drunk....

My narcissist partner goes crazy and says they dont remember!

Let the healing begin

pretty accurate as far as i can tell. my father is drinking and his behaviour fits the covert narc MO you described.

Yeah add to the mix cocaine and drinking and being Irish it's mental...true Jekyll and Hyde character 😢

Ah, they just got worse, in what they do, this performance they do, 'for a living.' When criticised, I reminded them logically, that the door is not locked from the inside. Nothing prevents you from leaving, in order to have your 'freetime.' I think that they act like cold hot shit, instead of cold cold shit, under the influence of alcohol. You almost want to have empathy, for such pitiful creatures, but that would be rediculous. Also, one laughed, was mean, acted like they ruled the world, was quite obnoxious, criticised... and cried, all in about 8 minutes time, all of which is what I call 'flip-flopping.' I got a blank stare after I asked, 'why do you flip-flop'? They said, 'I don't know.' I always heard, 'Oh, you know me so well.' Then came more tears on part of the Narc. 'Yes, I know you, but that is not a reason to be together.' Another got very cold-hearted. There was no sign of the charming, hospitable person I had met. When I first saw this person, I said to myself, 'now who is this devil?' I could have changed history, if I would have ignored their advances, like showing up at my home uninvited. You know, I think that there was an old friend of mine, who thought that we might make a good couple. Maybe that person, gave the Devil my address. Maybe they were jealous or devilish themselves. I am against 'blind dates.' A friend's impression of someone, is not how they really are. Also, who knows how many games were being played on me, at the time. The good old friend might have wanted to hurt the partner of the Narc at that time. The old friend might have been laughing their head off at both, or all of us. There was no escape, as all worked for the same orgsnization. I'm also against relationships, with colleagues. The Narc and their 2 colleagues got into business. It was a big mess, where they all did each other in. Fate also hit them on the head. My life is OK. I made my choices, with the info I had. I had losses too. I moved on and far away from them, in spirit, with the new facts, which they provided for me. Those were all good decisions, in my mind. I have found my own kind of happiness and I don't think of them much, although, if they are alive, they could be on the same street, where I am doing some shopping. They don't live so far away. They gave me enlightenment, about the dark side of the world. The alcohol ended one 'relationship.' The other was ended by a show of brutality. Find a way, to not need them as a source of anything a human needs. Be self-sufficient from the beginning, so that you can recover when they have to leave. Don't be friendly, if you see them. Be emotionless. Keep moving, living YOUR life. ❤

This was my ex in a nutshell. Thank you for sharing this!

Wow ikr that's bizarre

Thank you for sharing your views and expertise. I have been with a narcissist/alcoholic narcissist partner for almost a decade and I have recently been diagnosed with MDD and anxiety distress disorder as a result. I finally got the courage to call the police during an especially violent drunken attack and just let dispatch listen to what was going on and they sent units out to the scene. I am now trying to develop an escape plan and get to a domestic violence shelter and hopefully disappear from him forever. I'm so scared of losing everything but I'm equally scared of being killed at his hand, or even living like this for the foreseeable future. I had no idea he was truly a narcissist until your videos. I just thought he was displaying symptoms of his TBI and PTSD, but I was wrong. I was trying to be a supportive, patient partner because I thought all of it had to do with his disabilities. But in fact, it's so much worse than that.

some children have childhood memories of alcoholic narcissistic behavior of adults

Great work Danish!! Keep up your great awareness on people 💯

My ex took 2 bottles of wine everyday.. When it wasn't wine, he changed it to wodka, I worked in a liquor store, he asked me to buy 9 liters of wodka every week. When I told him I wil lstop buying him this because he is an alcoholic, he got sooo angry and denied it all over the years. 4 months ago I finally broke up with him... He was on my door last day and said me he didn't drink this past 4 months... Like it was all on me. I was the problem. And yes, that was 1 of the million things he said to win me back. Now he see what he is missing, blablabla.. Really I Don't believe anything he says anymore. 😅

My pill popping wine drinking narc wife rages until she foams at the mouth.

My narc ex is sober from alcohol and used the AA program as a way to remove 100% accountability from her past (and current) actions. When life is good, that's because of her choices, but when life is bad, it's because of God or the universe etc. Zero accountability.

This is true and I can testify to this. I had to dive deep into myself because I too was addicted to alcohol and being with a narcissist b boyfriend made it worse. Actually, he was more of an addict. I was more of a social drinker. When I would speak truth, question him, or call out his obnoxious behavior, that's when the demeaning, curse words, 'shut the f-- up' and even physical abuse would occur. After the 2nd time, I knew it wasn't me, it was him. The alcohol exposed it.

Ohh my gosh, They will definitely accuse you of it !!!

Alcohol ruins ANY person when drinking. It's that one drink of INSTANT A--HOLE that proves my point. That's what I call it anyway-INSTANT A--HOLE. Whether Narcissist or not , in my own opinion and experience with those, it does nothing positive to that person.

Yes!! Add in opiods or other drugs & put all of that into the top narcissist, a Psychopath. Unimaginable horrors

He wasn't like that with me, but the kids it did show a little. I just found out what I suspected of him since we were kids. He is a homosexual, but portray's himself heterosexual.

Alcoholism can be treated!