Dear Danish, I'm divorced since 2018 it was hell since 1998. And I was so stupid to let my ex in the house all 5years of divorce he almost left me last year for another woman, she couldn't stay with him so stayed with me Instead and I took him back. Now living in spain, I'm Dutch and I'm trapped. No income. My job should start soon after training a remote online job. I'm very afraid to not get detached from him to leave. How,must I deal with his evil demotivational behavior against me? He wants,me to fail ofcourse. I hope you have a video about it cause I don't know you for long. I need advice to break free. Thank you for your love and your wisdom to us victims. Thank you ❤🙏

I learned that after 50 years of chasing after my mother for approval. I am so slow, not stupid, just slow. Several people I have done thoughtful things for never showed appreciation. It took me a lifetime to figure it out. 🙄

​@@christinalw19 At least you DID figure it out, many never do. Everyone learns at their own pace. Yes, it would be nice to learn things more quickly sometimes, but everything in due time 😊.

If we were willing to live in a box we'd never have noticed anything off, nope 🙅🏻, not happ!

​@@christinalw19aren't you sweet, covert mom would say "Never look for thanks and you'll never be disappointed" a weird phrase none the less, ok, listen up, many people (not all,like the good ones) see our generosities as a given (truth), they think they're doing us a favour by swallowing up our kindnesses but, sometimes that they have a chance to reciprocate but instead throw us under the bus is our chance to escape, better late than never!

@@joseenoel8093 Ironically, this is pretty much my outlook on life. Don't expect much and you'll never be disappointed, and you'll be pleasantly surprised when things go well. I'm the kind of person who's always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and guess what....it ALWAYS does.

Yes it is a fight for your life,I'm still in it,I reach places of peace but what he done to me and his child is so low down dirty that I'm triggered most weeks,they make me so mad with their stupid mind games and smirks that all their flying monkeys are too thick to pick up on.

@@karriesaunders8597 Yes, their minions are thick and willfully blind themselves.

@@KaarinaKimdaly it's awful,my ex 6s now right back in with all the other narcs and horrible people,right where he was when I first met him. He came some way in understanding with me and his child but then discarded us with them backing him up,we gave four years of support and love,just for him to repay us with disloyalty and another child over there,the most hurtful act you can do to a person aside from murder. They are all absolute devil followers,all following a possessed person who should have got spiritual help but instead they supported him in abuse.

@@karriesaunders8597described it perfectly

Right

@@mixedmediaartgirl300 they are predators and NOBODY deserves their abuse regardless of the lessons learned 💯

My mother passed on March 11, 2020, kidney cancer, she was also narcissistic, my father is a women hater and also hated on my brother...dysfunctional issues in home. My brother and I are both also realizing that not only do we have C-PTSD, but possibly ADHD, maybe also autistic spectrum. Sorry for your loss. Our mothers are now in peace and away from the abuses.

Thank you for repeating the "RUN, escape" word. Although few people told me to, I still lack the courage to do so. But, I do hope to listen to your advise and desire to learn from the mistake that your mother made so that I can live to help other victims like myself and your mother.

Me too ........and then some!!!!!

Me three! I'm so sorry.

How did he stay,and you left your house?why?

@@MattyNelson-rs3ik I was only renting. I realized I had outgrown him, those friends and everything else. It was a good decision!! 🥰🙏❤

Unbelievable,,,, same here,,, couldn't care less about their own family members but totally engrossed in ours..

Wow , I’m glad you got out alive. it’s not hard to believe if you’ve been in a so called relationship with one of these entities

@@marka.8535Thanks! It took me nine years but, thank God, I did finally get out. I didn't know anything about covert narcissism then. It's the worst type, imo.

I'm in the same boat. I don't really know who I am at 31 but glad I finally saw why.

​@@AmberKR-xg9ugEverything you said is true for me, the Truth hurts in my womb, my whole body tenses up. That last line however, I understand you're afraid, so am I, (almost don't know how to finish this sentence>the overwrite of the demonic entity,) it's not true. Words starting with F: fear equals failure; F that! Okay I understand I tried and tried and you tried endlessly getting exhausted f the world f me... Angrily ranting to connect with what's inside you see. A while back I realized and understood one must step into the perceived aggression to heal. I'm just not giving up. Holding on and go forward, goal is to get relaxed and let joy prosper infinity in my heart, let the pouring of Truth shine through ☝🏽🌌💖💫

I'm entrapped with narcissistic parent, I'm an adult...they malicious and unlawfully obtained my son, so I'm around here for him...we both endure narcissistic abuse, not by choice. my mental health is actually quite healthy considering things, but it gets slandered often, also these people even resorted to record tampering at times to make certain FALSE things appear as not false. Do have c-ptsd and that's all mental health issue wise that still remains. I manage it quite well considering, having to be around one of it's various causes...one can only heal so far when their environment includes someone and or something that contributes to it, in the first place. -💜-

​@@flamekeeper-oracle13, you can only heal if you sever ties with your predator. Go no contact.

@@gracegwozdz8185 That would require that I go live in random woods, and leave my son behind?... know you didn't mean that but that would be what would have to do...predator is karmic narcissistic parent and step parent, maliciously/unlawfully obtained custody of my son from corrupt judge...Don't have drivers licence/transportation because years ago it was stolen here, while was sleeping, which forced me to go get duplicate, they gave me one, not to long after, reported false have history of seizures, also someone added it my medical record behind my back..got paper doctor had to fill out, no doctor would fill it out, I tried, well lost my licence/transportation over it. Have had only two seizures my entire life, and know exact cause of both. Trust me I know about the no contact, have prayed and cried, many times about need it so can finish healing. This is basically wound being torn open over and over. my son is miserable, entrapped because they obtained custody. They been pretending to be me since stole identity way back when was 16...since 2007 their cell # shows my name from my first marriage and even told them that's illegal, because that is not my number..said "Got news for you, I get to pretend to be you forever" also at times seem quite sadistic. love my mom, do forgiver her, but just want out of this nightmare 🙏 -💜-

@@flamekeeper-oracle13 If you're in the UK, emotional abuse is now illegal

Matthew 10:36... "Your worst enemies will be members of your own family" So sad, but true! Stay strong and blessed everyone! 🙏

It is an awful awakening. You can heal from narcissistic abuse. I pray for your healing.

I hear you Rach. prety much the same here. Your self worth is imesurable..wisdom and strength are found in humility.

I remember the times too when my narc husband made me resign my job and drive him around to his train station and buy and cook food for him and do all the chores at home single handedly while he was " working hard" with his friends and colleagues at the 44th floor of the most expensive restaurant in London eating and dancing along with them late night. Only that he would come home to accuse me what a trash wife and mother I was.

You need to be careful. 💕

@@bladeguru6358 Thank you, dear. I'm hoping he will be moving near his side of the family soon and am trying to convince him how much they miss him and would benefit from his presence there, so it will look like he's doing them a favor. He treats them much differently from me. And one of his relatives will put the brakes on his garbage if he starts with them. I need distance for sure, but I don't want to provoke him by embarrassing him with moving out rashly. Convincing him he will be honored I think is a safer approach.

I have certainly worked with a lot of narcs ! They control and terrorize in sly covert ways in the office!

I worked at a County Hospital, worked with a nurse who was a complete narcissist,she knew I knew her.She left me alone,I could see tru her like a glass bottle, a true control freak.

@@MattyNelson-rs3ik Narcs are everywhere in healthcare. No one would ever suspect it. Perfect cover for them to abuse as they please and then be praised for it.

A Real Estate CEO from Australia has recently said that they have to make unemployment rise at least 50% worldwide so employees know who are the bosses. Yes, and not only small companies. Even people who who work for corporations and multinationals have problems to pay rent and get their needs met. It's the new slavery fashioned as neoliberalism.

Amen to that

heartbreaking- may her soul be at peace

😢

This is so horrible. May she rest peacefully 😢

Thats horrific.

This is exactly what happened to my grandma

Lol I won't Re-marry mine because I know eventually I'll divorce him too when the time is right. Say after 10 years and take him through the cleaners. 😅

Child support. Like judge Judy says... he's supposed to pay cs.

I was told " your talking garbage" when I expressed concern over our relationship. 😢

Every time I called out her cheating she’d accuse me of cheating. Even if I was with one of my brothers.

Agree Heather 💯

Double wammy!a true case.

Yikes

In the fish analogy, the fish does not benefit. The fish does not choose the parasite, invite it in, love it, feed it and then panic at the thought of the parasite moving to another fish. A codependent (fish) feeds the narcissist (parasite) knowingly.

Very exhausting, my Covert Husband discarded me in May & im still exhausted on my healing journey. I wish you wellness ❤

Matthew 10:36... "Your worst enemies will be members of your own family" So sad, but true! Stay strong and blessed everyone! 🙏

So and so did something bad. He had a haircut. You got a haircut. Therefore, you are guilty of what he did.

They hate when you point at their fallacies; they think only them know them and can use them. Same when you quietly point at their incoherences or don't comforme with their ambiguities. We all should learn how to detect them...💃👏👏..óle. 😊

@dakoderii4221 lol, right. Their whole life is a 'slippery slope'. Instead of excitement and courage needed to pursue ambitions, they use college level logic and think they can outsmart anyone. 🤣🤣

@@Lyrielonwind Ole! Exactly 💯. When you can easily prove them wrong, they get confused and rattled. 🤣

Matthew 10:36... "Your worst enemies will be members of your own family" So sad, but true! Stay strong and blessed everyone! 🙏

I never had to argue with my husband, because he would hold both sides of our supposed arguments in front of me. He never asked my opinion; he simply told me what my opinion was in his mind and argued with it. He had me believing I had no right to speak up with any opinion or need or want. He was all sufficient to do both sides of our relationship without my ever saying a word.

My x had a son that just passed away at 28. He never had that much to did with him but I'm sure he's soaking up sympathy now.

Pray for God to deliver you…that is what I did and 6 months later I was free!!!! 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

Could you seek professional help in your area? It is a long and complicated journey.

You will not be the first or last to leave..them in the dustbowl of their making.

Don't grieve or show any emotions before them; they love it like the finest wine. You'll see it better with distance. If you are not ready to discard him, find an excuse to get away for a while if possible. Spend the least amount of time with him. It's a way to get the fog out of your thoughts. It's hard to see it if you are sharing the same space.

You have to ask yourself, why do you keep attracting those types of men

⁠@@Lyrielonwind i block and go no contact.. thank you

I'm sorry that you are going through this and I hopeful that things will get better. They already have to some degree.

Thank you 🙏 one day at a time, I feel myself healing

It must be demons whispering in their ears. How else can narcs from different cultures, speaking different languages, over millennia, act the exact same way?🤔

It's a demon entity trait,it jumps on them.

It is very interesting how while they're different, they're also very similar. Like a narcissistic playbook.

That’s what I was thinking of too. Sam Vaknin “Serpent’s Voice” video on KZfaq in particular, on reconnecting to your authentic voice (which, according to him, is often the quiet one) and weeding out the thoughts and words that live inside you from the Narc.