5 Reasons Why Narcissists Get Married

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5 Reasons Why Narcissists Get Married

Рет қаралды 42,656

Күн бұрын

Here are the reasons why narcissists get married.
1. Image projection
Image is everything for a narcissist. They project the perfect image to get collective admiration, adoration, respect, acceptance & appreciation. They want to be seen as someone who has got it together, and that is where you come into the picture, as their spouse. They got married to you because they knew you were valuable, cherished, successful, or you had something that they could get admired. You're a trophy that was displayed to make them look great, compliant to the societal norms, to show their ideal family-oriented personality
and man/womanhood in front of the society with zero involvement in family growth. They treated your success, influence and social status as their own and lived and functioned through you, which makes this relationship entirely parasitic in nature. They took advantage of you by all means possible.
2. Primary source of supply that is always available.
They need a steady supply source, a readily available cheerleader, someone to listen to their relentless monologues, a personal assistant and a sex partner. All of this is possible if they can trap someone, and Marriage is one of the easiest ways to do so. In fact, Marriage is a social license for a narcissist to use their partner as a housemaid, sex partner and cook. For them, Marriage also means a way to insult, blame shift, project their insecurities and use you as an emotional dumping bag. They need an enslaved person, a supply, and a source of gratification. It is never about love, care or affection; it is all about the utility.
Before we move to number 3, how did the narcissist use you in the Marriage? Drop your experiences in the comments below to help other survivors feel validated
3. They are Opportunistic
If a narcissist knows getting married to you would get them a lot of connections, social recognition and money, they will match you without a second thought. They don't care about the kind of person you are or what you have to offer emotionally. They only care about what you can give them, How much you can give them and how wealthy they can become by associating with you. Once they have grabbed the opportunity and you are legally married, they'd steal it from you in every way they can, as if you worked your ass off for them to show up one day and take it all. If they need something and you can offer it, they would do everything they can to get you because you can give them what they can't get by themselves. They are opportunistic, like a cunning predator who waits stealthily for a hunt that is easy to prey on. Once they target you, they attack when you least expect them to. The other thing is that it's not always about money or connections. It could be having a family or having kids so they can get other sources of supply, like a mini cult of their own.
Money dispensing machine
By nature, a narcissist escapes responsibilities. They don't want to take the burden of the duties that they are obliged to fulfil. And like them to be fulfilled by others. They want someone to take the burden of their responsibilities and become the provider, the earner and the fulfiller of their wishes. They don't care about the consequences of their irresponsibility. All they care about is how to meet these desires through you. They get married to Make the other person feel obligated to make their dreams come true that they don't want to work for. If they wish for a great house to live in, they just have to demand it because they know you would provide it out of compulsion. If you don't, you are Either guilt-tripped, threatened with a nasty divorce Or controlled through abandonment. Like a coward, They escape the hardships of the natural world, But like a parasite, they get their needs met through others in a very selfish way.
Convenient source to get their sexual needs met.
A narcissist is interested in using a body, in having a go-to source that they can use To get their physical needs met. They don't care about emotional intimacy Or affection. By Getting married to you, they gain sole ownership Of your body and use it As they wish. Nobody can stop them or hold them accountable because They treat Marriage as a social license to abuse people. Once married, they use you whenever they want to, without caring about Your consent. They use force to violate you sexually if you do not give in. Once married, they can do whatever they want, knowing you won't leave quickly because you are trapped. They don't have to Love to bomb anyone Or wear the mask of fake Generosity, Compassion, Or intimacy To have sex. They can be monsters and simultaneously use your body out of their entitlement and grandiosity. They feed on your body Without giving it anything back.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction
00:43 Image Projection
01:41 Primary source of supply
02:37 They are Opportunistic
03:51 Money Dispensing Machine
05:04 Convenient source to get their sexual needs met

Пікірлер: 469

@cheryldee95 Жыл бұрын

Absolutely! A narcissist uses their spouse as a slave - in every possible way. This is their opportunity to be the King (or Queen) to abuse, criticize, exploit, control, minimize, antagonize, sexualize and humiliate - for their own sadistic pleasure. And all behind closed doors, so the outside world…is none the wiser. They are vile, and getting away from them is the only option.

@floridagirl5250 Жыл бұрын

@Cheryl Dee...well said! Every word true!

@wendyhannan2454 Жыл бұрын

I second that 👍

@shanellem6310 Жыл бұрын

Once I realized that, I started planning my exit.

@caseteamcouture8633 Жыл бұрын

This feels like the primary supply type of role

@cheryldee95 Жыл бұрын

@@caseteamcouture8633 Mostly, it is. But I have spoken to secondary supply, and they have been lied to and manipulated and future faked and sexualized to the nth degree, as well. The narcissist lies to everyone. Even their own parents. In fact, that’s where this deceptive personality disorder begins. In childhood. It’s a coping strategy…that stays with the kid…for life.

@goldilocks3593 Жыл бұрын

They get married to look “normal” and to lock in a slave for life, in a nutshell.

@jromeo8247 Жыл бұрын

The more established by way of looks or profession that can better them, they marry for THAT. Not marrying for love.

@wendyhannan2454 Жыл бұрын

Totally nailed it...

@Unebellecreole Жыл бұрын

You are 💯 correct!

@snigdha2901 Жыл бұрын

Truer words couldn’t have been said

@scorpiolove674 Жыл бұрын

100% true , and they have kids for the same reason.

@cassandrab3720 Жыл бұрын

My ex used me mainly for sex and to stroke his ego , took me years to realize what I was dealing with. Years I can't ever get back and regret.

@ladykhustle Жыл бұрын

Please share your stories so you can help others. Your years will be redeemed for this higher purpose.

@nikoseen Жыл бұрын

Yea I was a sex object as well...

@rachelaraya3394 3 ай бұрын

Remember Cassandra, our past experiences no matter how painful are what has helped us to build ourselves into the strong, resilient convicted and compassionate people that we are today. We would not be who we are had we not gone through what we have. Peace x

@jlongino51823 Жыл бұрын

I had everything. College degree. My own place. Great job. Amazing healthy life, relationship with family and happiness. As soon as I let him into my life “let’s get married” but I quickly turned into a slave. He abused me in every way imaginable. He wouldn’t let me work. I was sick all of the time and our finances were my fault. He was abusing drugs, gambling and we accumulated nothing but debt together. I lost everything. He was never happy with anything. He would say “I’ll kill you if you leave me”. Ask him to describe me in one word, “MINE!” is the word he wrote. I have filed for divorce.

@jl9769 Жыл бұрын

Prayers for you on your journey!

@irishmermaid4 Жыл бұрын

Watch your back, honey. My narc ex hub stalked me for 3 months, post divorce. In fact, I had to get an injunction to get him out of the house. The dumbass wouldn't leave.

@jlongino51823 Жыл бұрын

@@irishmermaid4 in the beginning he was stalking my entire online existence. Now, I don’t know because I have no contact with him and I locked everything up so nothing tied to him can use it to keep ruining my life. (Flying monkeys have done everything from calling my health insurance company to say I’m committing fraud to trying to get me kicked out of my apartment and they won’t stop!) I’m being very careful.

@bridget9432 Жыл бұрын

May God’s Strength and Love lead to freedom. Jesus came to set the captives free.🙏

@valeriealexander1855 Жыл бұрын

Your story sounds like an exact copy of mine. Definitely predators...abuse...etc. in every way. Monsters...evil to the core.

@Unebellecreole Жыл бұрын

A narcissist cares absolutely nothing about your emotional needs or connecting with you on an emotional level. It is all about how they can use you. They get married to have you as a permanent source of sex while degrading and emotionally abuse you every chance they get. And when you finally wake up and see that this is a form of abuse, they start to chip away at your self esteem, pride, and dignity if you let them.

@barbarathomas5048 Жыл бұрын

Yes this is very true in my case as well!

@debbyphillips6148 Жыл бұрын

Right on!!

@margaretchaney5627 Жыл бұрын

It not fair & these men are everywhere.

@LoveSource1111 Жыл бұрын

Mine was a self-righteous narcissist and paid the bills on time and financially stable, but was very cheap. Isolated me in the mountains and his rage got worst. He controlled what I ate and when I worked out and go to sleep. I couldn't sleep because I was always worried sick. I would cry everyday. I had to literally escape

@matrig6 Жыл бұрын

Congratulations on making your escape! I hope you are healing quickly and rediscovering beauty and joy in life. Thanks for sharing your painful story.

@miamichiefs Жыл бұрын

Wow! Now it all makes sense. I came from a conservative Catholic, Cuban educated family. He knew I would tolerate a lot. He is a U.S. diplomat and needed me to show him how to act and I made him look good at functions and events. At home it was a different arena.

@adel2457 Жыл бұрын

Oh my Lord, this is explains why I feel like a damn slave all this time! Not only that but he rushed our marriage during the height of the pandemic. I couldn't understand what the rush was but I see it clearly now. This is soooooo true, lately he's been telling me to empty out my 401K so that "we can start a business". NOT! He is a parasite and that's why I'm looking for an attorney.

@beachgirl4 Жыл бұрын

Run

@sandybaker6692 Жыл бұрын

Yes, Run! I wasted years of my life when I should have divorced him after the first year.

@Fatimalove3279 Жыл бұрын

Good move !! Don’t do it !! You are on the right path !

@adel2457 Жыл бұрын

@@Fatimalove3279 thank you for the vote of confidence. 🙂 I have to stay focused because now he's love bombing me.

@adel2457 Жыл бұрын

@@sandybaker6692 I'm so happy for you. That's how I feel now. We just made two years and I'm feeling like I'm wasting my time with him.

@lsohweldfab6575 Жыл бұрын

Dodged a bullet on this one. Nothing to bring to the table but debt also wanted all I could provide.

@sk4swatikapoor Жыл бұрын

Speechless. Your videos are spot on right. It's like you know everything that happened. I called off my wedding one month before the actual date after dating for almost 5 years. I was saved. Thank god I came to my senses before it was too late. Then I discovered he was a narcissist. Now everything he did makes sense.

@sk4swatikapoor Жыл бұрын

@@rumibadar8023 I have that realisation. I feel Blessed.

@mjayanthi3425 Жыл бұрын

You are blessed

@doloresglass8881 Жыл бұрын

I am happy for you. I was one of the “Rare Ones”. One who got away with minimal suffering. Now I pray to God to Bless, Heal, Protect, and Prosper those who are Good Spouses, Parents, or Children. May I help assist the next generation with prayers to Jesus Christ.

@sissy3268 Жыл бұрын

OMG, same here!! Thank you the Lord Jesus Christ I got out!

@rosameijering5161 Жыл бұрын

So happy 👏

@cynthiabontreger285 Жыл бұрын

This channel has by far made the most sense to me! thank you... I am preparing to leave after 20 years of marriage. The abuse started the 2nd year. I stayed because I thot the kids needed their dad. WRONG! They are his "next" supply and have been for over 10 years. Now I get to live with the guilt of not leaving 10 years ago when I tried to the first time. Pray to God that I have enough influence on them to help them break free from his abuse as well. We've been called every name in the book, yelled at, cussed out then always the quick "trying to make us think" he didn't mean it and "won't do it again" . Biggest lie of his life. The actions don't match the words. Im done with the empty promises and I'm done taking care of his Narc Ass. Blessings to all who have found freedom, we got this!

@debbyphillips6148 Жыл бұрын

Way to go!!

@FJBravo381 Жыл бұрын

Girl I used to alwaysssss say that “but your actions don’t match your words” & “you treat us like a totem pole, you’re at the top & we’re down here.. only to be gaslit with excuses

@kellygarcia5648 Жыл бұрын

You just described my life! The only difference was that I stayed for 17 years. We are survivors and we will heal❤

@VIdoubleKI Жыл бұрын

OMG me too!! ❤

@mjayanthi3425 Жыл бұрын

Yes , they hunt for people who are vulnerable , emotionally weak, not much of family support, And trap them with their charm and helping them They study them and trap them Keep them under their control Before we realize It has gone too far with out knowing We are isolated, and depending on them for all emotional needs Once we realize hard to come out Thanks to you tube channels To make the victims aware Specially who are ignorant innocent, not know the terminology of Narcissistic personality God bless you To help people

@kameshiam1674 Жыл бұрын

Sometimes you don't have to be a weak person or vulnerable. I am religious and the narc used that to get to me. He used the Bible against me. I fought him every step of the way, however he used scriptures to try to trick me. In the end, I tricked him back to get free. I do agree with you that I didn't have the support of my family and that made me a target too. May the lord bless us all to discard these snakes.

@floridagirl5250 Жыл бұрын

@@kameshiam1674 I met my narc ex husband at church too...in music ministry. Christian narcs are the worst and most church people blindly support them!

@wendyhannan2454 Жыл бұрын

We are kind and caring and they mistakenly think we are weak, very big mistake 😉

@tlouratshabedi Жыл бұрын

my husband went for me, with all the emotional support I had from my family I still fell for it. Instead he was trying to use my relationship with my parents to con my whole family. He would even give me reasons I must tell my parents so they give us money. I am not talking about petrol money or grocery money he would want me to ask my parents for 50k when I refuse he will not speak to me for weeks tell me how I do not invest in him and his visions HAHHHHHH I am glad I walked away and I never fell for his scams

@kameshiam1674 Жыл бұрын

@@floridagirl5250 Too true

@Yooperchic Жыл бұрын

When I first began to wake up to the nightmare I was living, but I didn’t know completely what or whom I was dealing with, I told him: “I feel so used.”

@Belg6179 Жыл бұрын

Mine literally cost me about $900,000 dollars. Boy did I learn! In the end...It was the most expensive lesson I ever learned. I am free now. Thank you Lord.

@happinesssomewhere18 Жыл бұрын

Your freedom is priceless

@proudtobeamum Жыл бұрын

It cost me 30 years of my life and almost everything I earned during this time.

@walkietalkie6679 Жыл бұрын

Women narcissist can do damage if you unaware of narcissist personality...I know now 😢

@greenscreekgirl Жыл бұрын

Wow! You nailed it. My parents were not wealthy but they were well respected and held in high esteem in our small town, much more respected than my husbands. My dad did help him out financially through colleges and when we got married when he was in medical school. He became much more respected and well known when we were married, my family loved him, treated him well. My parents treated him just like they treated my brothers. His family hated me to the depths of their souls. That went on for 27 years, there was so much drama and trauma and broken promises. We had two sons that I was able to save because I cried out to God to rescue us. That was 5 years ago. We are whole again.

@veronicamccall5583 Жыл бұрын

Bless you for realizing that you needed God's plan to save your sons from the Narc monster that unfortunately is thier sperm donor. 🙏 you'll have found healing, peace and happiness free of the eggshell drama.

@annak29 Жыл бұрын

Completely describes both my ex's. Marriage was "normalizing" for their image and functioning. I bought the "love bomb" then ended up a slave. The entitlement was about different things, but a strong aspect of their thinking. I was not a person, just a resource of both internal, social, and material benefits. God knows their hearts and mine.

@Unebellecreole Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for this video! From the day we got married my narcissist husband started to show that he had no intentions of being a husband. He neglected his responsibilities as a husband and could not care less about how he makes me feel or what I think of him. 8 months into the marriage, he went as far as telling me, " There was nothing to feel on the day we got married." And he wonders why since those words came out of his mouth I emotionally checked out of the marriage and stopped letting him use me. He has been emotionally abusive from day one. He started a huge argument the day before the wedding simply because his disrespectful daughter decided the day before our wedding that if her friend does not get a last minute invite to come to the wedding she was not going to attend. So, instead of my narcissist husband telling his daughter this was not her wedding, that she does not get to decide on who comes to our wedding, he instead chose to side with his daughter and allowed her friend to come against my wishes. He basically started a huge fight with me the day before the wedding not caring whatsoever how it was going to affect me. His actions ruined the wedding day and night (no intimacy), and the 7 days honeymoon that was planned (no intimacy on the honeymoon either). Sadly, I knew on the wedding day I was making a HUGE mistake, but I was too embarrassed to cancel the wedding since family and friends had travel long distance. It has been 3 years since we got married. I have not been happy in the marriage for not even one single day in those 3 years. I realized that this man had no intention of being a husband to me and is extremely emotionally abusive. He married me because he knew after 4.5 years of dating that I was not going to waste anymore time and shack up with him and give him husband benefits without a commitment. I did not discover that I was dealing with a narcissist until after we got married.

@daylenestaneart775 Жыл бұрын

I hope you are getting out.

@gorunsko31 Жыл бұрын

My narcissist explained to me taking care of family ( including his parents and disabled sister) running the house, gourmet meals, physical needs without consideration for my boundaries it was received by him in the name of being entitled. We are old now, retired, children are grown. Tragically I had a terrible accident couple days ago, he had to pick up my medication and do grocery shopping. He feels victimized, therefore he is “oozing “ hostility toward me. When I asked him when I was doing what he is doing now he called it “ not contributing enough to the marriage” then while he suddenly considers grocery shopping a big deal ? “Entitlement”was the answer. Thank you Danish for the spot on presentation of the reasons narc gets married.

@bridget9432 Жыл бұрын

Everything you’ve said is what I experienced for 26 years. He stole all the equity from the business and homes until God opened my eyes. He rode on my coat tails and was extremely parasitic in nature. I’m so blessed that I escaped with my children with my life and sanity.

@DavidJohnson-sd7fo Жыл бұрын

I’m Still Mindblown At The Pinpoint Accuracy That You Can Describe Someone With, Without EVER Having Met Them. I’m Mid Divorce Found Out About Narcs About 2mos Ago & Everything Finally Made Sense! I Was So Confused, & Now Thanks To People Like You, It’s Like Her Spell Was Broken To Bits! Now I’m Just Blinking & Trying To Wrap My Mind Around What Life Will Look Like Now. I Appreciate You, The Profound Impact Of Your Work Cannot Be Expressed Through Words. #Grateful

@supercoffeebean Жыл бұрын

Divorce to pushback, but expect paying the narcissist tax. Destroy your career, take all your money, make you a slave. Run from these people.

@justinewhiteowlweldon6499 Жыл бұрын

Did 24 years. Always felt like the problem. I was never good enough, never smart enough, never pretty enough. I was in competition as a parent. I was in competition with every pretty woman. I was questioned about every idea and every dream was a bubble burst by his countering remarks. We never had the money unless it was used to spend on his dreams and ideas. When money was low, it was my fault. I never made enough. $11/hr, 22, 29, 35, 52, $78/hr. We couldn’t possibly survive on one income living in California. $40000 in savings went missing after I added him to my account. I didn’t keep an eye on the account as a fool because I trusted him. He blamed me for things I didn’t do, for spending too much, for being selfish, and he treated me like a hypochondriac when I developed hypothyroidism after our second child. I gained so much weight and he said so many hurtful things. Now, I’m proud to say, but sad because I had to divorce him. It was my soul I was losing. I felt suicidal and crazy. But, I took myself back. I take my thyroid pill, do yoga, lost weight, unplugged that soul tie through reiki and meditation, and am independent. I didn’t touch him financially. I own my own home in California with the same hours I worked while married to him. I own both my cars. I pay for my kids needs. I go to church. I forgave him and pray for him. My youngest son chose to live with him. That was the hardest part. My oldest son told me about what my ex would say to my kids to minimize me. He moved in with and married a new women within a couple years after our divorce. They live a lavish life. My son struggles and feels ignored by them. I want him to live with me, but I don’t own him. He’s not property. So, I try to be as cordial and patient with my ex as possible to help our son have open choices. I just say ok when his father tries to build drama. I don’t take him personally anymore. I listen and just say ok and do what I need to do for the best outcome for our son. It’s tough. It’s real tough. I’ve been slandered, minimized, denigrated, raped of everything that meant anything to me. He even tried to steal my own family from me through manipulation and charm. I did love him. I tried real hard. But, god made me for a purpose. My purpose was not to be brought away from peace. Anything from god will lead you to peace. I knew in my heart that this man was not on my team. I was on his and his coaching stunk. So, I stopped playing the game. Thank you by the way. Your information on narcissism is so clear and heartfelt. I wish I knew about this 20 years ago. But, I was not a victim. I was codependent, empathic, a broken hearted women, and trying to live the live I thought my grandparents would be proud of. I’ve done a lot of self-healing. I wish all the people struggling with a narcissist a heart to forgive themselves and the narcissist. I pray they can free themselves before they lose themselves. Many blessings.

@johnhathaway735 Жыл бұрын

Quick tip from a survivor Idc how “attached” you are or how good looking they are or any thing related. Te second you realize they are evil ( a narcassit ) RUN don’t look back. Don’t tell ‘em. If your married that’s sorta different but stand ur group once they know ur done. They will try to drag you back. Even legit crying bc their world is crumbled (emotional physical and withholding sex type of bs) while cheating lying etc.

@addyk2657 Жыл бұрын

I didnot understand dont tell them if u r married means extramarital with narcissist got it got it i agree dont share ur life with them they will not understand ur pain rather will use it against you

@johnhathaway735 Жыл бұрын

@@addyk2657 I was saying “don’t tell them before you file for divorce” I worded that badly. And after don’t fall for their “gas lighting and insults” just tell ‘em I’m done. If you are sneaky enough find proof of them cheating (especially if your a male) bc in the states the courts are jacked toward women unfortunately. My point was I survived one as a “serious relationship” as it was my “1st real girlfriend” I had zero idea people were that wrong/messed up. We were “close since 7th grade but didn’t date until 10th” you may be thinking that was young but she finally got the picture at 26 that id never take her back I even told her I feel so bad for whoever thinks your a catch. She tried everything to get me back from “I took ur advice and went to see a counselor” to “ I’m going to church to get a better understanding of things in my life” to “insults it doesn’t matter you won’t find anyone better or no one desires toy like I do” (I thought being alone is much better lol) It went on for years (I finally realized I played a major role bc of my “emotional attachment to the trauma” 15 years ago we didn’t have KZfaqrs trying to help nor would I have thought at 14 to look that way. Basically don’t go back lol! Under any circumstances get away lol! Far away!

@alexmolosiwa1837 Жыл бұрын

@@johnhathaway735

@ogjuldish9019 Жыл бұрын

#5 just gave me the chills. Uuuuggghh! No Narc will ever touch me again

@01splitpea Жыл бұрын

Abuse, neglect, control. Really, everything you've mentioned here, were elements of both of my legal unions, Danish. You are a truly gifted narcisstic abuse recovery coach. In fact, it is my considered opinion you are in tune with the universe. Thank you.

@ceciliamiley9196 Жыл бұрын

My ex-husband used me and took advantage of me for years especially when he needed a place to stay when got out of jail or needed somewhere to do his drinking and drug abuse and all I got in return is mental torture and some physical too, but finally got the courage and strength to leave and NEVER look back. Everything was about HIM and had enough! I have PTSD because of him but healing more each day.

@desertangelfish140 Жыл бұрын

My ex was really pushing for marriage the last time we got back together. He was being the nicest he had been the entire 10 months I knew him. Original proposal was a few weeks in. He said I could be his trophy wife, like it was some sort of honor. I asked where's my trophy? I declined stating We weren't where we needed to be in the relationship to take that step. He already had 3 prior divorces! I also told him the next time I left would be the last time, since we never seemed to make any progression in the relationship. I've been happily single over a year now. The stalking and hoovering have stopped. I'm looking forward to meeting Mr Next soon. 👍

@larryatchley8116 Жыл бұрын

You need to be healed before moving on ask God to send you someone God never makes a mistake if I had asked God for some one I would not have went through physical abuse nor mental abuse I am in recovery now love you Cynthia

@danilaroche1156 Жыл бұрын

I would focus on the Lord. Put Him first and He will sort things out, including your romantic life. Take accountability for getting in this relationship in the first place. Obey the Lord.

@celestegonzalez3713 Жыл бұрын

Hey I feel like we have something in common I also got back with my boyfriend after our break up of a year I gave him a second chance , he was trying to marry me and saying he wanted more kids I wasn't sure yet to have more kids and get married , I had a bad feeling I sometimes felt as if he just wanted me to fix him legal papers , I was scared for him to use me , I'm glad I found out he wasn't being respectful with me so we broke up again and now he hasn't looked for me anymore or tryed to get back with me I question myself and wonder why I feel like I want him back , and I feel like I miss him but I know he might never love me , or respect me I'm just confused now

@desertangelfish140 Жыл бұрын

@@celestegonzalez3713 Keep watching videos on narcissistic personality disorder. Educate yourself as much as possible. You are right in everything you are thinking and feeling. You made the right decision. I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life! Single, broke and unemployed, but I believe the best is yet to come. Stay strong! Hugs to you! 💕😇 We are all in this together!

@kenhart8771 Жыл бұрын

Had the same experience with a woman. Such a snake

@suzanneschannel1 Жыл бұрын

Danish, all of your videos are so chock full of extremely accurate and helpful advice! Thank you so much!

@lorenaestay8087 Жыл бұрын

As a caretaker, house maid.

@juleslove1365 Жыл бұрын

Indeed, my healthy pay check each month served him nicely and provided many nice things like holidays, cars and a beautiful home

@CashNet72 Жыл бұрын

My narc-ex and I met when I was making the most money I'd made in my life. I had tons of friends, no debt, a nice apartment, owned my cars, and was surrounded by my family. I was so stupid to believe that there was ever a we. I allowed myself to believe that we were a team, I put off going back to school to support them finishing theirs, agreed to break contact with my best friend, left my family, my jobs, my car, and my place to move where they wanted to go. Away from everything I knew. Then let them talk me into leaving another job with great pay, to instead be a stay at home parent. And when they finally allowed me to go back to school, they dropped me like I was the biggest loser they ever met. It's been years, and it feels like I'm never going to stop feeling this pain. When does it end?😢

@naroyim5686 Жыл бұрын

All the lines of your words are 💯 true sir. All this happened to me. Nothing can satisfy the narcissistic men/women.

@user-yv3ns4mo9j Жыл бұрын

I have no word to explain my suffering in my marriage life. Now after hearing you, I am able to understand myself,partner and inlaws. I have narcissistic partner and MIL.

@01splitpea Жыл бұрын

Additionally, the first legal spouse was abusive both verbally and physically, the second, violently abusive verbally, which, through the years, escalated to the very real probability of my murder, and so I divorced him. Living free of fear and emotional pain was, and still is, the greatest feeling I've ever experienced.

@rgjr.6055 Жыл бұрын

They lock in that supply. They can abuse you throughout your marriage. They can abuse you after divorce through spousal maintenance, child support and parenting time. I’m living through this right now and it is a horrible experience that the courts enable.

@p.m.9156 Жыл бұрын

I always wondered why he even married me. Now I know. Thank you.

@oscarwilliamson1128 Жыл бұрын

P.M.,You look cute 🥰,Hope you are not with a narcissist….

@user-wg9lu7tc4w Жыл бұрын

This is very true, I am in this situation right now, marrying a narcissist is very stressful. But as a wife you have to be a smart empath, because they will try to make you believe that you are always the bad one.. don't ever fight back, and stick to your own boundaries, that's the rule💚

@bbee3629 Жыл бұрын

Yup. You said it so well. I have been quitting from each "job" he demands I do, one at a time. He has not worked all year until a few weeks ago yet blames our money worries on me, who has been working faithfully, taking care of the kids and house. Planning my exit. But all he does is whine that the kids prefer me and don't want him. My grand daughter sitting next to me just made up a poem about her most beautiful grandma in the world. I am leaving him finally and he'll whine all his days that the kids don't visit him and no one appreciates all the many things he claims to have done for us while they all gather at mom's house because she loves and welcomes them.

@jolesliewhitten6545 Жыл бұрын

I was chosen twice by two male narcissist to support them, serve them, admire them, and to accept their abuse.

@purvamandlik4696 Жыл бұрын

Financial abuse. Loans, taxes, gifts, deprivation, splurging without consent...

@sheebasee9496 Жыл бұрын

I am the sad example of “ working my ass off and he took it all “ After much therapy and in hindsight, no regrets only not leaving him sooner 😊

@OdetteLong-vo5se Жыл бұрын

I married the man and stayed stuck for 14 years. Knew something was wrong for years finally left. Busy healing

@juliaedi111 Жыл бұрын

My mother left most of her parental responsibilities to her daughter. She even started saying, "You know you are our mother." I hate her so much.

@lourdesgaffarena638 Жыл бұрын

It was manipulation from the beginning but being young and inexperienced I never realized it.after being a perfect wife for many years I finally realized what a two faced liar he was all these years.Now it seems that karma is creeping up on him and slowly he is paying for what he put me through.even though we live under the same roof I no longer give a damn about him .they are sick people and have no respect for anyone which finally the time comes and they are left all alone.

@ladyv5655 Жыл бұрын

My mother insists that she loved my dad and she resisted when he filed for divorce. But she was verbally and emotionally abusive to him. I think it had a lot to do with him being an upwardly mobile young doctor. Also, she has always cared way too much about what other people think. I think she looked on being an unmarried woman as shameful but wouldn't everybody be impressed that she landed a doctor?

@Letitgo1975 Жыл бұрын

Thanks that you are talking about your mother (a woman) otherwise the society tends to see mainly men as narcissist but in relationships if you look around there more women narcissist in families and they are so smart that they easily play victim. Pray for me!!

@jromeo8247 Жыл бұрын

Marrying a doctor is no prize. Raising children alone and them working overnight with whacked out of their minds co workers is no trip through fields of gold.

@Lyrielonwind Жыл бұрын

My mother married my father; a doctor. That was her ticket to parasite him, get social recognition and abuse her children. But, everyone thinks she's a lovely lady.

@ladyv5655 Жыл бұрын

@@Letitgo1975 , statistically, there are still more male narcissists. It usually manifests itself differently, though. Would you get bent out of shape if I told you about my narcissistic ex bf? He was as bad as my mother, though in a different way. Please don't use my experiences to promote either anti woman or anti man theories. I am talking about my mother more because she is a more pressing concern now, as she is approaching the end of her life and I am dealing with some feelings about this. On the other hand, I haven't seen my ex bf in years and I don't care what becomes of him. But his narcissism was just as damaging to me.

@ladyv5655 Жыл бұрын

@@jromeo8247 , my dad was great, thank you very much, and I will thank you not to dump on him just because he was a doctor. Please deal with your doctor issues without maligning all doctors.

@lahonnann Жыл бұрын

My husband 74 I 67 Married 4 yes, he has ghosted me 9 times this last time I told him we we're no longer evenly yoked. 3 days later he left and I said don't come back ever. I have not heard from him in over 8 months. Only lived under same roof 5 months in 4 yes. It's hard for me to believe all of this but all your saying is exactly what has happened. NEVER WILL I LET HIM BACK IN TO MY LIFE.

@cherigreen8676 Жыл бұрын

My narcissist did it for the green card. I feel so darn foolish. Now I'm left alone and broke. Not even sure how to file for divorce. Lol. Narcissists suck. I wish them ALL the pain they deserve.

@marie-pierretouchard6012 Жыл бұрын

Perfectly analyzed and summarized ! I agree on each word ! Thank you very much for sharing your high level of consciousness, very helpful for humanity.

@mariafernandes9227 Жыл бұрын

Love your channel , you are opening my eyes, you are almost talking my story

@01splitpea Жыл бұрын

Through 30 years, between two narcissistic spouses, I was used as a monetary source, a domestic servant, yard care, a personal assistant, a breadwinner, and as you say, someone to listen to their "endless monologues." My first legal spouse had already put me off him so badly, I could no longer stomach sex with him, and the second wasn't interested in sex with anyone who wasn't the star of a porn video.

@luvmytrees Жыл бұрын

Omg that’s disgusting! Same, my narc husband is just interested in only a sex salve and a servant.

@funkycoldmedina1207 Жыл бұрын

My female narc. ex gave me all the information I needed thoughout the 17 yr. relationship that confirmed I was most definitely with someone with NPD possibly co-morbid personality disorders. I lived with her family and her for 3 yrs. Her step father has been married to her mother the for 25 yrs. To get there her mother left my ex as a infant with her grandmother in Mexico where the grandma resumed the title & care of the primary care giver. For 7 yrs the mother manged to come to America meet a man her now step father who is 20yrs older then her. They married within 2 weeks and have been together since. Sounds very familiar Amy questions about the age difference well anyone who knows anything about Narcissists knows the answers to all questions when it comes to that one.My ex was retrieved from the grandma at 7 yrs old. To come back to the states and start life yr. My gf then would express many times how tough she had it being a child in unfamiliar territory. She expressed being sexually abused by a friend of the family & a babysitter who was also a distant family member. I never asked question I always just listened. She said this would happen from time time. The first occurrence with the babysitter who was a female and 2nd or 3 Rd cousin I believe. Awful and hurtful it was to hear this was her experience this one time which came as a package of confusion to make her question in adolescence her own sexuality. The 2nd predator had done what he did multiple times and for the most part it stayed within the same consistent acts done. What breaks my heart to hear is one of these times when she thought her mother to also be at work the perp passed out and smelt of booze my gf said slightly on top of her. She was able to wiggle her way out and see the hallway light was on and she noticed her mother had been standing there the entire time this was happening.....then it clicked in her head. She said the drunk man was always talking while he was doing those things almost as if he were talking to someone else. This nite it made more sense to her that the man was actually talking to her own mother as the mother stood by and watched this happen to her again and again doing nothing to protect her nothing to stop the man nothing but watch what was happening to her. This I believe was the birth place of her narcissism. Defenselessness as a child while your supposed protector was part of the whole act was detrimental to my ex gf's development and individuality. Trauma bonded early in her life with inconsistent attention and neglect switching back and forth. Her step father and mother most times always at work until her younger siblings came into the picture. Then years later two younger brothers. My gf was given the title of their primary care giver doing everything for her 3 siblings growing up going to school and having to come home and take care of them 3 everyday and literally did everything for them except pay the bills as well as attend school herself and pressured with high expectations from her mother to get only good grades In school never really having any friends always tending to the mothers needs and wants while raising 3 younger siblings. I lived with them and noticed the mother has zero or very little connection to any of the four of them. The routine was always the mother going to work and coming home and going straight to her room after work always avoiding and ignoring her children. My ex gf was without a questions the family's people pleaser, hand maid, scapegoat, & for a brief time the golden child as a baby and infant when the mother was around. I never saw the slightest bit of any emotional connection from the mother to any of her kids including my gf. It was always the step father giving the attention doing things to please them all when holidays came around and went. My ex gf idealizes him for so many reasons. I of course never pieced it all together until after 7 or 8 months after my discard. All the dots connected the more I thought about why her and I couldn't ever work. Saddening and very hurt I was to hear these things. It all shaped who my now ex gf is going to continue to be more than likely the rest of her life.

@semperdecorus37 Жыл бұрын

I dodged the bullet. I read Psychopath Free and it was a story written about me and my experience but I never wrote the book. Crazyy

@mer8745 Жыл бұрын

While all this is going on, we, victims of narcissistic abuse, can imagine that we are constantly facing with questions or preaches about our husbands/wives like "how wonderful they are, what are we thinking, nobody has such a wonderful husband/wife, we must be so spoiled", right?

@mearaftadewos8508 Жыл бұрын

Brother, you nailed it. I got a huge confirmation for observations, instincts and logical conclusions. You're a blessing!

@maryheiser311 Жыл бұрын

I brought good looks and a nice income with me - had no debts, no kids, no ex, no family close by. 2 incomes combined to pay off his house, car and provided health insurance through my job. I was easy to love bomb which went on and on, he took over managing our finances and I had no reason to question because we had no debts and were able to continue to accumulate assets. Prior to the discard he made off with a lot of our marital money and assets then in divorce settlement I was stripped of full ability for attorney fees to try to recapture what he took. According to him everything we had was “due to him” - this was an outrageous delusion as I started drawing my pension at age 50 so all income was from me till he turned 65 and could get Social Security and Medicare. All this not to mention he was an alcoholic. When I started to bring up some things I was noticing he abandoned me and put all the liabilities in my name (credit cards, etc). Went directly to a new supply after our divorce and felt empowered he could get someone to marry him that quickly. I heard he has already started in on similar tactics with her - I feel sorry for her not knowing he doesn’t give a crap about her or what she is in for. I hope she did a prenuptial and gets out quickly.

@cherrybacon3319 Жыл бұрын

My Ex used to say to me "Let's get married" yet never made any definite arrangements to match his words. He once arranged (I only had his word for this and I never believed him anyway) an Engagement Party and had put a deposit down (this bit was true according to the people who's venue it was), then 2hrs before I was due to leave and meet him (in fact it was 10Mins after he'd left my bed and was on the bus) he called me to say he was so sorry, but he'd cancelled the do 2wks prior! He'd left it to the very last moment to tell me this. His reason being HE thought I wasn't sure. In hindsight he was 'projecting' his own feelings onto me. 🍒

@n0426 Жыл бұрын

Pathetic. It’s like they secretly want you to beg for them to stay. Yet they won’t even show that they are worth it.

@sharonjones7138 Жыл бұрын

How much you can give them. For my mother, all she wanted was any $$ my father brought home. She spent almost everything on herself. She abdicated her role, giving all her duties to me. “The eldest daughter has all the responsibilities of the household “ she’d tell me. Such an excellent video!! Thank you.

@suzannemiller594 Жыл бұрын

My guy flipped a switch once I shared my house with him. He literally told me he could do whatever he wants and the judge agrees.

@newseason4417 Жыл бұрын

My ex was all three..I was so lost. I would pay to help. My body ment nothing. It felt like a trap. After he proposed it got worse! He really began to treat me awful, and I finally had the courage to leave. I feel bad for the next supply,he will do everything right until after marriage..😞

@natthebratster Жыл бұрын

Danish if you havent already could you please do a presentation on the narcissist partner who "accidentally" breaks things that are precious to the victim or kills their plants and pets? Yes Ive experienced all these things sadly. Thank you so much for these clarifying videos. I hope they save many people from abusive and maybe tragic outcomes.

@leolovelife777 Жыл бұрын

Mine did this except the pets (did not have a pet then), but tried to break or throw my things (my daughter hid some.) But he threw my all my plants, except for the largest one (propably too heavy.) Today I am free, as are my pet and plants (and I have a lot more of them nowadays 😂🦋🙏🌿.) I think this is something they do In the discard phase. Or when they feel you are on your way out.

@dANbRnL Жыл бұрын

I'm an ATM and a punching bag. I can always be criticized, emotionally abused and generally inferior to them. It is a constant source of blameshifting, finger pointing and name calling. It is exhausting and I'm never good enough. I've not had sex with my wife in over 2 years. I'm honestly tired of being a punching bag.

@luciapompeiano3220 Жыл бұрын

My same conclusion:they get all they need and more without having to pay. As married they look "normal". You give them all the benefits, work 24-7 and they don't pay you, not even pension. They don't have to relate to you as they would as to a cleaning lady, house help, Mother, babysitter, nurse, homework-help... They can come and go without appointments or giving timelines... They get all and more, supply, all without any kind of attachments... OMG... Just to say it... Blind love is so overrated...

@shareholder2988 Жыл бұрын

Absolutely right. I like that trophy boy title. This is why she married me. Your words are amazing - like you were like a shadow seeing all this happening. I never thought this is an incurable disease.

@Tarnishtha Жыл бұрын

My God ,now I understand what is wrong in my relation and why I was facing problem

@Resiliant777 Жыл бұрын

Completely spot on Danish! So precise!

@zolisiser9312 Жыл бұрын

If anybody was married to the narcissist, the narcissist will say something like “we supposed to stay together! remember the part “til death do us part”? “ . And therefore they will not acknowledge the divorce papers.

@DianneWestbrook Жыл бұрын

Well you certainly nailed that one! I could never figure out why my ex The Narcissist married me but now I know why. He married me for my family which made him feel secure and loved and gave him sympathy. He married me for what little money I had but good credit I had which he Through The Years destroyed, even down to the point of messing our taxes up without me knowing it and forging my signature on the tax form. He wrote bad checks, didn't pay rent, didn't pay bills Etc all while telling me he was paying them and everything was on time and that I shouldn't question him, it made him feel insecure and that I was overbearing if I asked. He also cheated on me (even though we had a healthy regular sex life) and when we were breaking up he said... well if you won't give it to me I've got to get it somewhere... as if to make me feel bad that we didn't have sex constantly day and night and it was my fault. When I finally got the courage to leave him it took years for my self-esteem to come back. Praise God it's about 18 19 years later and I am a strong woman who has good self-esteem again. I also know how to spot a narcissist and stay away thanks to your help. Your videos have been so valuable to many of us, thank you

@dyoung2739 Жыл бұрын

I’ve asked this question numerous times. Thanks ❤for your explanation.

@sitascott8446 Жыл бұрын

I married a parasite. He said his mother was his best friend. I found out later that they were locked in a passive-aggressive pattern. It was about money, for him. He thought he would just drain me and leave. I got legal protection so he couldn't. He insisted on our having a second place to live. He is angry unless he can talk continuously, and sometimes then, also. We now live seperately, although it's not sustainable.But it feels like both our lives are ruined.

@idontgetpaidenoughforthis Жыл бұрын

Wow. This is so eye opening & makes so much make sense.

@arica3511 Жыл бұрын

You completely described my third exhusband. Thank you for this video. It's very helpful ❤️

@tiffanycorbin8079 Жыл бұрын

When I was younger I wanted to get married to my narc . Thank goodness we didn't I actually thank him for not marrying me. He actually got irritated because I said he was right.

@theresamorello9892 Жыл бұрын

My narcissistic mother married my father so that she could get out of the family home, where she was causing discord and unpleasantness to her own family.

@amypathak6920 Жыл бұрын

Absolutely ekdam true! It’s about what ur worth to them nothing else! 😢😢

@BasedMarysMemoirs Жыл бұрын

Love this channel. Keep rockin and rollin

@paranxietyoia587 Жыл бұрын

Same

@umasubramanian6232 Жыл бұрын

4 points out of 5 is very much correct with that narcissist husband. Point 5 I did not give in after a period of time. Still iam living wit him but not communicating with him.. Iam waiting when this will end😢

@MiteshDamania Жыл бұрын

No contact ever again!

@lisabuchanan6371 Жыл бұрын

Gross

@helendegenerot7867 Жыл бұрын

You are so amazing🙏🏽thankyou!...everything you say is a perfect flow of exact information about these, i feel, they are non 'human' things/beings, called narcissists..the more wen learn about their behavior, the quicker we can recognize them, and either block their poison, therefore eliminating them🧘🏾‍♀️🌻

@mswonder1970 Жыл бұрын

So right on! You are an amazing coach and know SOOO much about this personality, and I have seen Sam Vaknin, and so many good ones! Thank you!

@user-lm2vs1sl3v Жыл бұрын

She got my love, my wealth, my supportive family, my success in my career. I got abuse.

@TheMultiCreative Жыл бұрын

It's only fair to leave a comment for the next person. Yes EVERYTHING HE IS SAYING IS CORRECT. It pains me to list as much as possible. I will leave 3 exacts: Married me, family status. I was blessed with a house and he fronted to everyone he knew as if he had anything to do with anything! No deposit, paid no bills, wasn't even around when I chose our house (busy cheating), moved in with nothing but a blowup bed, comforter and bag of clothes to having everything we needed plus more but not because of him...he brought NOTHING saying why buy anything for the house 😳, we are adults THATS why...this isn't a drugg house ...5 kids to raise and literally he made that comment. Money and emotional punching bag: He was broke. I have been broke before and needed a step up before, so I completely didn't judge him, I just gave him the same value I'd want from my partner and or someone in my time of need. He couldn't hold a job longer than one month. For almost 5 Years it was ALWAYS someone else fault. Some reason. I brought his clothes, shoes, paid for his haircuts, cooked, took care of all of the kids, our bills, myself, not to mention we had two babies 1 year apart ... brought all of their items, brought a family SUV, paid for small local vacations to our surrounding states JUST TO HAVE FAMILY MEMORIES AND A MENTAL REFRESH, cash app him everyday sometimes twice a day only to find out he was gambling and buying thc for some other woman as I had quit smoking due to wanting to ensure I wasn't making random high choices and because being intoxicated isn't Godly. I wanted to live my life the right way moving forward. Emotionally he would never say I looked nice unless it was us going to buy him something. He'd compare me to unidentified people and standards. Name calling was the worst because I didn't name call back as I know once something is said it can stick...I would tell him....if that's how you feel then why be with me. (I would never fall & try to impress him because he was literally the FIRST PERSON in my life to belittle me to my face or name call) Tell me not to wear makeup....no fake hair.... nothing fake yet any woman he was cheating on me with had ALL OF THAT. Sex Even though my body rejected him ... internally. I begin to feel sick and sore ..in pain simply from his touch. I didn't want to be sexually involved with him AFTER finding out he had 1 woman pregnant while I JUST found out WE were having baby number 5...(THAT HE ASKED TO HAVE - I DIDN'T MIND HAVING NEITHER) YET once giving birth... found out about ANOTHER woman was pregnant AFTER the 1st woman gave birth to his son...and (After I asked him to leave- NOW SEPARATED FOR OVER 1 YEAR & A HALF) HE got ANOTHER WOMAN PREGNANT and is currently living with A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT WOMAN 😵‍💫 WHO isn't pregnant. I didn't want his body on me. I never told him that our sex hurt. I felt repulsive and got STD STI checked randomly. Before his cheating I enjoyed being with him. Loved our intimacy yet emotionally and mentally I didn't desire him and if we weren't married I would have broken up with him. So the trapped part is real. Once I asked for a Divorce he began saying he doesn't believe In divorce and I told him I don't believe in marriage filled with cheating and babies. He said I wasn't a good wife because if I was I wouldn't have kicked him out...I said if he was a good husband I wouldn't have kicked him out. Mind games. Mind games. Their job (Narcissist) is to throw you off and talk about you in their minds of how stupid you sound in trying to prove and piece together their treatment and wrong doing. Pull yourself out of the fake relationship if you care about yourself BEFORE you met the Narcissist...pull yourself out if you believe in your future. TRUST ME BEING WITH A LIER is like being with an empty souled human.... nothing there. No value. No respect. The Narcissist family is aware they just want you to keep the narcissist busy and help save their family prayers hoping they'd change or bring honor to their name. Everything you bring is something that wasn't there before REMEMBER THAT AND ADD UP THOSE APPLES 🍎🍏🍎🍏

@caseteamcouture8633 Жыл бұрын

Giiiirrrlll no WONDER why he did not want me to have much of a relationship with his father and step mother. I knew she didn’t like him too much… so I sent her a text letting her know he was moving back home and she didn’t reply.. more than likely because she is PISSED 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@TheMultiCreative Жыл бұрын

@@caseteamcouture8633 They have to know the actions of their child. Parents talk. From Birth to Adulthood watching the development. Even if you're simply observing another person for years or how we are when we first meet someone until either we keep them in our lives or not you can tell a persons actions, so they don't want to hear his sad reasons..."oh she did this...or how much I did this for her (but y'all aren't together 😐)" it just doesn't add up. Asking for money, food... place to stay smh They don't want to hear it nor deal with it. My husband would always say " Oh I have a place to live (his parents house)...so when I kicked him out he thought it would be like any other time...him coming back home with us after 3 days...a few weeks...a month or 2.... NOPE. 1 & A HALF YEARS AND COUNTING! IM DONE! I DON'T WANT ANY PROMISES I WANT FACTS ! His dad came over several times...his mom ... family EVERYONE begging for us to be a family again 😐. He told them I didn't want him to see the kids...blah blah blah! Nope that's not it I just don't want him and I told him to tell his parents the truth. Nope. He didn't tell them. I was the fault ....the blame. Yet when he was talking on the phone with me he'd say I know I've done wrong...I know you're hurt, I know you're still mad at me. Girl nope. I'm all the above yet really I can sum it all up as being DONE. OVERLY DONE. I don't like his Style of love. I don't like the personality he has with other people behind their backs... Opportunist. Hunny! His Dad kicked him out. Told him never to come back. Imagine that! He bullies them with ANGER. Rage ... AKA tantrums. Asking for money. Getting upset when they cook food he doesn't like. Asking to drive their car. Coming in late at night. They said no. So now he lives with someone who doesn't know anyone who is considered close friends and family & (WE) everyone else has treated him so wrong. All he wants to do is do the right thing. Yet I know all of this because the side chick called me ..hung up .. called again hung up... started texting me and sent me anonymous messages on IG.... stalking me....I keep blocking her only for her to say he's really a good man. I told her to leave me alone and leave me OUT OF IT. TOLD HER TO DO HER. If he's such a good man he wouldn't be with you. He'd be honest yet he's built their connection on lies so I know he doesn't care nor has changed because he is still being manipulative. I pray for them and even though it pains me on days more than others...I don't want him back. I simply want him to do better but I'm not going to spend anytime to compare past to present knowing how he thinks and operates.

@mrs.latoyamelvin652 Жыл бұрын

Wow, I had to take deep breaths reading this. I'm so sorry you went through all this, your a strong wise woman, I declare God to bless you to cover his gracious hand over your heart with complete healing & pull out whatever spirit is connected to attracting Narcissistic traits men, I speak life and abundance of God's best to over flow into your life swiftly and suddenly & I pray the gift of discernment be blessed spiritually unto you so no man ever get close of doing this. In Jesus name I interceding pray for you and your children to be in peace and safety in Jesus name. My heart crys reading your testimony however I can say it's helping me, sis my spouse expressing narcissist traits but my heart and mind trying so hard to not be a believer I'm trying to hold on to him through all the distancing behaviors of no contact for three days to he finally reachout to be the only one speaking on the cal to them shout hush let me talk to them when I speak again a quick hang up and then three days go by again to get an inquiring call of YOUUuuu okay? I mean last time we spoke I couldn't understand what's wrong wit yah you acting crazy, I mean you did put me out..... I'm like huh sis idk if I'm coming or going it's like he won't be happy until I loose my sanity and I try to be like you said and be careful of my responses cause we can't take back words but I find myself spitting out small white lies just to get a lil empathy but nope it's disregarded but if I make accusations that's his key to act a fool and start back the avoidance, he done moved 22hundred miles away claiming it's my fault and he only wants to come back into my home but not communicate if I talk I'm a problem that causes him to act in such disrespect manor I never show emotions except now he shouted out he want to divorce me and first time he said that which took me off guard so as much as I use to shout those words out never felt our relationship was over until now he back avoiding my calls and I'm keeping my cool I'm just praying alot to protect my sanity however I find myself transitioning my mind to wanting my husband and it's feeling sickening because I know this is toxic and intentionally like I don't know much about narcissistic as why I'm youtubing alot lately idk if a screw missing in ones mindset where this is uncontrollable and or if it's just demons controlling them I can't figure out if he doing this on purpose and just have no heart doeant seem realistic especially with children involved makes it worse. This man ways has me self evaluating I'm checking my own heart and mentality wondering what's wrong with me to go through this treatment and to even keep desiring the person that part is what's messing with my mind But reading all these posts are strengthening me to stand strong and take it as a blessing that God removed that man from my home I'm just now realizing the importance of stop praying for him to return but to get myself some therapy and loose the desire of dating I never knew people would be gaining a partner just to pass there hurt onto them sadly I didn't discern this before marrying he came off perfect and Godly sent. Now I'm stuck with my mind of a fool praying for a break through and what to do cause God hates a divorce and I don't want to be going thru another but I'ma be praying. Your testimony had me crying so I had to reply, 🙏

@TheMultiCreative Жыл бұрын

@@mrs.latoyamelvin652 SWEET heart.... The moments are only moments no matter how much you remember them. Your quality of life was a good idea. The actions from you to want a better life is NOT what IS!!! IT'S not. SWEET SOUL you ARE worth MORE THAN GOLD! For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12 NLT I understand self sabotage. Allowing myself to accept it AFTER not getting what he couldn't do....but I got the name...image ... But it was fake. He told me if I died he wouldn't cry. Said he would NEVER fight for me. After I've been disrespected by the drama filled people in HIS LIFE! once I started to think hard of who he knew...his friends...family... random women... and thought of IF I never met them how much of the problems wouldn't be in my life I began to see him as the issue. No progress of positivity .... nothing to truly say I couldn't do things on my own yet the fact that we were now married made me put up with try to live out the for better or for worst. Yet your husband should NOT be the for worst part. He's caused more harm than good. Losing weight from 125lb to 89lbs back to 127lb only after giving birth (4'11) since he's been gone I'm 157lbs on purpose 😍🍑🥰😊 .... wanted gains so that I can sculpt my body. Lose weight in target areas ☀️💅🏽👑 I wish I could show you ...the world my before during and after (now) photos of being with him. You wouldn't believe it. I still don't sometimes and I get angry...sad...upset... disgusted when I do look at them. GOD has ended that relationship and I have started a new one with him. This time I will not be ashamed nor keep God on the sidelines...GOD HIS MY MAIN 😊🥰 I AM NO ONE WITHOUT HIS BREATH...PLANS...LOVE....CARE...GRACE...STRENGTH....I will be powerless and unworthy if it wasn't for GOD. My life I owe him . He protects me because he love me. I do hurt thinking of what I've been through...some parts are glad I'm safe and able to heal....be healthy....live MY life. Even when I would've lived it with him GOD said you don't KNOW WHAT I KNOW and I'm sure the end was 💀☠️. . . Sooner than later. My husband would say he doesn't care anymore it's whatever....it will be both our blood mixed on the ground and it will be my fault. Saying he wants to 💀...ummm no...i do not want to 💀...when I have so many great things I want to try....see...do... experience...our children to raise ☺️ pure selfish. Demonic. So I still pray for him EVEN when I'm fussing....i stop fussing then I try to say nice things from my heart and I let it go. Then later on in the day I fuss some more 😅😅😆 I'm getting through it is my point. I am human! I do feel! I do have emotions...I do have reasons.... I am someone! I matter! I'm worthy in GODS eyes because IF GOD WANTED US TO BE WE WOULD BE! GOD allowed me to try to do things my way &-&&& that has shown me WHY GOD is God and I am not! He made me. Really and truly I shouldn't have been having sex nor lusting ...drinking to intoxication...and ignoring GOD and those who loved me (best friend, brother and Dad) All men who told me...even myself that it shouldn't be anything other than what it was (sex) (my Dad said I shouldn't be having sex) and I didn't listen. I called to cut it off with him and he said one thing that got me. . . Help. Him even if we weren't having sex anymore just help him become a better person. Mind you I worked for myself (2013-2017 when we met) now I was in contracting... pressure washing... general contractor (single mother 3 1/2 years apart from my physically abusive childrens father) thinking I was ready to date.... Heck I was working.... taking care of my children... Moved on from my hardest relationship (7 + years long) ...I thought sex and drinking after work was ok as long as I knew that I was safe ....NOPE. I reaped what I sowen. God didn't approve of premarital sex. Drinking to intoxication! Including him into my life only when I lost my way ..hunny I was lost... I realized I wasn't as protective with my information....talking not realizing the danger of who he actually was around my kids (just thinking back). He isn't a good person. Could be but isn't . Lies. Steals from everyone.... Manipulative.... Sneaky....creepy..... hateful.... Selfish.... blaming everyone other than himself....will throw anyone under the bus just to appear honest....will leave us (family) anytime he feels he can have a better life... even though he lies to get involved. They told lies and put a little truth on top....like Suger on crap 💩 disrespectful... hurtful.... Only being considerate TO HOLD ON to us..... Just enough. Told me he put voodoo on me ( it only works if you believe) I don't believe it!y GOD IS POWER ITSELF!!!! BOY BYEEEEE! Why would ANYONE who claims to love you say that???? He began to believe whatever lies he tells ppl in the streets because when we got into an argument he said I helped you!!??? 😳 I knew he was a fool and bit by bit slow by slow...I could see he was a weak person. He would say in a year I will go crazy ....then it turned into 2 years....why would ANYONE want that. Making it seem like because I am wrong about somethings that now I've lost my mind.!?! No! It's the tactics they use knowing they've told 9% truth and 91%lies so of course we sound...look and come off as crazy because we believe whatever they JUST told us!!! Which is a lie! That's why he said I sound dumb or I'm a stupid bxxxxth ... Saying I love you to a man who is thinking of I really knew WHO he was I wouldn't even be around him...he started getting paranoid because he was deserving of getting hurt physically if I'd ONLY KNEW the things he was doing saying....thinking behind my back. How and why would I want that fixed!!!! Just because I was honest....just because I want to be loved... respected....cared for.... appreciated.... honored! I don't care what he thinks about me because he wouldn't act right long enough for me to even grow into myself....better myself.... He gave me what I projected which was a person who doesn't value herself nor respect herself from the start. I was easy going. Even though I hady reasons.... hopes...dreams.... potential.... He blocked everything and any bit of a chance because he was sent to disturb and destroy me. Spiritual speaking....if you go against what GOD SAYS then you are doing the opposite.... bottom line. So the devil had his foot on my spine! Like a child who's acting bad but has potential to be good yet they get spanked for doing something bad that they shouldn't have....yup ..I got spanked and it cost me years....tears....pain.... embarrassment.... confusion....I am still hear ... Nope I am not about that dark life....😅😅😅 I'm no demon thug ...for sure I am not about that life. I'm too sweet for that life so I stay in my lane now 😆😆😆😊😅 Old moments. Bring true to the life I want to life FOR REAL is lead ..filled and covered with GOD...ANDDDDD SO WHAT ,🤪😜😝😘 THEY can call me lame...do gooder ....Jesus freak....but I am alive. Safe... healing... healthy...growing.... God is showing how to love by the way he loves me ...nope I have reached the 1st grade level of how to love him that way but I want to graduate and get my Dr.s in loving God...myself...so I can truly love others how GOD wants me too and be proud of me. Everything else will be okay because it always have been....since conception...birth.... newborn.....childhood ... teenage....adulting 😅🤪☺️🤕😝....I want a real better life MOVING AHEAD so that's my goal everyday.... moment.... second.....breath!!!!.... short term and long term.... Why not live a good life in a world of chaos 👑💯🌱🌹☀️💅🏽

@Unebellecreole Жыл бұрын

My heart ached as I read your post. I can truly feel your pain. Be glad he is another woman's problem and no longer yours.

@renaewall4477 Жыл бұрын

I put up 27 years with a Monster of a man! I surely wish I knew this YEARS AGO!

@raquelromain4336 Жыл бұрын

God Bless you brother!!

@khadijahoneybadger1 Жыл бұрын

Dodged the bullet as well! Thanks god! He answered my prayers. Every time I get closer to agreeing to marry him. Something happens and I change my mind. God and only god protected me from stepping into the hell of marrying him . When no we met, he was obsessively looking at Bentley cars. Guess what? He thought that I make enough money yo buy him a Bentley car.

@terry_kathryn Жыл бұрын

This makes me feel utterly sick 😢 iv wasted 21 years blaming myself & trying to be the good wife, only 6 months ago iv become aware, 6 months ago I kicked him to the couch & I totally ignore him, don’t talk, don’t even look at him … But the games, he’s hiding my things, going through my room (yes iv set up a camera) he watches me constantly the intimidation is so bad I’m in my room nearly 24 hours a day, iv a disability he’s my carer but has never cared I do everything even though I’m not supposed too, yesterday iv cut his pension when he finds out oh boyyyy 😔 he left 2 days ago & iv not seen him so I think he’s back with the other woman 🤷‍♀️ I truly don’t care any more 😢 … when we met I owned a home, iv bought all the cars, he refuses to work he’s in some fantasy world where he invents things wants workers so he never has to but has never done a thing, sadly he’s useless 😢 he embarrasses me if we go out together, he’s condescending, arrogant, self righteous, it’s all his, everything, iv finally worked it out he’s never loved me just loves what he can drain out of me, mind body, spirit … if we go out he leaves me sitting there as he’s social & acts the fool even at 61 years old for attention, he has no fear so jumps off cliffs with teenagers, he is also a huge hoarder I live in a pig sty, no power, half a house, it’s dangerous, I cannot use my Walker, he even organised with my dr to up my meds for 18 years & tells people including social security I cannot handle my affairs & is trying to take everything 😔 he even joined my church 6 months ago, I quickly changed churches, sighhhhhhh I’m so dam tired I hope he never comes back, I will stay in my orderly room until I can sort this house, sell & run away … thank you for your videos I’m learning more each day, I still find it hard to believe any human can be like this 😭 so cold, calculating & cruel, bless you all 🥰🙏🏻🥰

@tea-chip-cookies Жыл бұрын

My sister is 41 and is a narcissistic liar. She is incapable of maintaining a good relationship with her immediate family, has no moral compass and is the worst person to be in the company of. She recently announced that she is getting married, her husband is 10 years younger than her. We have no idea what he sees in her.. It baffles the whole entire family. We have recently learnt that he does the cooking and cleaning. He's such a nice guy and has so much going for him, he doesn't have low self esteem so I can't figure out why he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. Oh well.

@noku_nz Жыл бұрын

I feel so sorry for him 😢

@davidm4566 Жыл бұрын

My wife had terrible credit when we got married and was just terrible with finances. For example, she had a stack of library books when we got married. I found out some time later that she had a $200+ library fine. We went through and returned the books that could be found and weren't damaged and made deals with the library to bring it down to $100. Long story short, I paid off most of her debts, set her up with a credit card attached with my name, and encouraged her to get a card of her own. Now her credit is decent, but yet she accused me of doing nothing in the marriage and walked.

@sthomas4634 Жыл бұрын

He started to date me when I was 15 years old and he was 18. We were married just before I turned 18. My parents were happy to get me out of the house so they could move away. The love bombing was so intense that at 15 I thought I couldn’t live without him. The torture began after a week of marriage. I’ve been trying to survive everyday ever since. I realize now that I never had a chance.

@mrs.latoyamelvin652 Жыл бұрын

Wow that's exactly how I been treated, I need to pray 🙏 Thank you for the understanding video, this helps

@stebinable Жыл бұрын

I'm a living example who married a Narcissistic wife. She doesn't understand others. Doesn't takes feedback. They are very arrogant on those giving feedback to them. Very much manipulative. Always gives fake apologies. Projecting their negative thoughts on others. They don't even spare a humble mother and son relationships

@n-mareec-yavhe1490 Жыл бұрын

Dumped after one month of marriage because we both lost our parents

@mellimel9300 Жыл бұрын

Same exact thing happened to me.

@kunjalatasarmah4609 Жыл бұрын

He trapped me though i fall for him first..i was the woman who always wanted to help others..i was a good source of supply for himm..he wanted me do job..and fed him ..cook for him.now he has second supply still wants me to manipulate

@racelibaura4500 Жыл бұрын

You talk as if you are with us along the way during our relationships you are so tru...oMG ...it is good that I am aware now ....

@n0426 Жыл бұрын

The question that marvelled the world.

@avivabillington5514 Жыл бұрын

100% knew a couple exactly like this!! Both narcissist's & it was all for their reputation & image. She was his "unpaid maid & lap dog" whilst she'd an anger issue threatening often to leave as they thought they were being mistreated despite allowing him to do this as she knew he was sexist!! Among other things. But she couldn't defend herself & say "I'm not doing all the housework anymore" & so on.

@reethathomas6321 Жыл бұрын

You have shoot on the spot. Brilliant. Love ur channel 🙏👍🌹

@janedoe5229 Жыл бұрын

YES. He gushed all over me while we were dating. We were religious, so no sex until we were married. But once we were married, it was like, "I own you now". The gushing stopped and I was his cook, housekeeper, and personal sex object. We dated for 1 1/2 years, so I thought I knew him. He was such a fun, outgoing, involved guy at church, but on the honeymoon, he said, "Well there is something I have waited all my life to do. So take off you clothes and lie down so I can do it to you". I wanted out of the marriage that fast, but I didn't want to "go to hell". It did not improve.

@walkietalkie6679 Жыл бұрын

Where's the part of him being a narcissist at?

@barbarathomas5048 Жыл бұрын

So glad I found your channel,Danish!! Thank you so much for sharing this wealth of information. I need this!! Thank you.

@janenguriathi9950 Жыл бұрын

I am in shock after listening to you. The one I lived with at one time told me I was of know use to him. When I told him I cook for him he told me that he used to eat even before he met me. I felt so demeaned. From that time I started journaling whatever he told me and after rereading the journals I started developing an unfamiliar hatred towards him I could not even let him touch me. He started looking like an alien to me. I even moved from his bedroom then plotted a way of getting out of his life. I ignored redflags like him being divorced twice and destroying his teen girlfriend’s life by impregnating her and never taking care of the baby but later looked for her when she was grown and earning. That’s when he made her close and now benefiting financially from her. So disgusting.

@meetpandit4801 Жыл бұрын

The girl I got married to used me to get visa and reach Australia somehow. Throughout this marriage she always showed two faces of hers, never connected with me. I found later that she had physical relationship with many other men, I believed it was her male friend and always supportive but she was sleeping with him, while I was trying my best to get her visa fast so we can start living together. She used visa and now living with a man somewhere in Sydney, and I am just waiting to get divorce from her. And best part is she doesn’t care that she destroyed my life for her selfishness, used me whole and chucked me like garbage. This is my Story

@maureenharris2909 Жыл бұрын

I was educated and he joined a family who loved him. I was secure and had a profession that was secure with benefits. We are no longer together. Unfortunately it took me many years to expose him.