Yeap, I am at 5+ years waiting(separated, 2 different houses and no outsiders influence on either side(i.e BF for her or GF for me) that I am aware of...although she is a pro at concealment so no telling with 100% confidence). Anyhow, this video is so timely....I have stuck it out in spite of no encouragement and with no real indication from her that she has any intention of trying to sort this out. I also have gotten to the point where I don't think I would want the relationship reconciled. A few years ago that shift started happening inside of me where I don't really want her back now, although I still miss her deeply. I have decided to remain until my youngest boys would begin to understand that I am not abandoning her or them, our "relationship" has reached a point that is an impasse. So I am working with my counselor to undo the emotional PTSD this has caused and am going to give her a final chance at a conversation, the warning and then I am pulling the proverbial plug. I am hopeful this will be the catalyst that she will seek help and work out her dismissive avoidant attachment style and not harm our kids with the way she does things. She is a good mom (was a good wife too)when she is/was present, unfortunately she is fooling herself into thinking she is always present when the kiddos tell me otherwise. She disappears into the bedroom and doesn't come out until she has to, and even for her "movie nights" she coordinates, she disappears into her phone or tablet and is present physically but mentally she is checked out. The boys tell me all of this on their own without any prompting. That tells me they notice it more than she realizes and that she is not fooling any of them, nor is able to gaslight them in any way. (Something she did to me ALOT, I was even accused of being a narcissist ...🙄) I hoped we could reconcile but I don't feel it's in the cards for the time being, and like I said maybe a divorce is the catalyst she needs(I need it too at this point)?!? Thanks for putting these things out here to consider. Glad to know I am not the only one experiencing a lot of these issues, not that I'd wish any of this on anyone. 5 years of waiting is a LONG long time...

I started listening to you a long while ago my wife and I separated in August 2016 and we divorced in 2022 I asked if she would join me and attend the marriage helper course in USA I live in the UK I was going to use a credit card to pay and she point blank refused instead I paid $500 for the online marriage helper course. I have been with another woman a year and six months after separation my life descended further knowing I had failed myself and my family, I'm still hopeful even after my divorce to restore my marriage

Not all marriages can be saved. Sometime Gods answer is no.