My goodness

Indeed, being gas lit all over again.

Yes! A good neighbor who heard my tales of woe about the narcissist, did…I believe…”believe” me. But she said more than once…”I don’t take sides”. The narc treated her and her husband like royalty (they were great neighbors!),-always helping, doing chores, whatever he could do to earn their praise. They were older than us, and the narc admitted looking upon the man as a “father figure” (his father was no prize). It was kind of pathetic to see how many times a day he’d run over to their house and hang out or offer to do tasks for them. I thought initially it was because he wanted to be a good neighbor. But he was really after narcissistic supply. No wonder the lady didn’t want to “take sides”. The narc would have done anything for them but often had me in tears…

Few of my friends/coworkers did this to me. Realized they were not really my friends, and made it known I wasn’t their friend anymore. It’s a punch to the gut hearing a friend tell you how wonderful your ex is and how I need to stop saying bad things about her.

My narcissist tells me himself how nice and wonderful he is.

Two years no contact with my family. It is a horrible nightmare isn’t it? Go well

Awful with them, super sad you don't have a family any more.

All I can do is wish them well......and stay away. I wish myself well too.

Family is the hardest. A high price to pay for taking your life back. It IS strange. I didn't miss them. Not much to miss. Very hard realization to have to make. Very hard indeed.

Amazing stuff! Think of the ancestral / generational cycle you are breaking! It’s incredibly strong and tellling of what you’re working on.

All sort of people want to scam us, all the time, be vigilant folks

...not a good idea to give them that much power....trust Carefully, yes...study & go Slow...but do learn to trust again...not everyone is a Narc & you are cheating yourself as well as the good people.. Bottom line..letting them Break you this way is letting the Narc Win

But now you know what that pithy self-esteem looks like, and the over enthusiastic attitude to you. You will spot them sooner.

In my country an artist was betrayed by his ex lover. She posted all their love letters where he wrote some very intimate things. And the television moderator asked him if he feels any regret and shame for writing such things. He calmly replayed ,,NO,, doesn't regret his feelings, he only regret the choice of person.

@Surviving Narcissism replied what does this mean?

Same here, it’s so awesome being narcissist family free

Good for you both

@@fharhunachoudhury2434 How did the family react when you broke away?

@@elizabethdarley8646 they gradually just accepted it but sometimes they do try to hoover me back through random no caller ID calls but I’ve stayed strong, I refuse to go bk into tat dysfunction

ME TOO..FIR 15 YEARS. INCLUDING MY SPOILED 30 YEAR OLD NARCISSISTIC DAUGHTER

I’ve experiance all of the above pluse ptsd from other tramas

6th Awareness and Application of Team Healthy ! Great Syllabus !

@@gjop-xm2xe When they realize how PTSD works, they exploit it to the fullest.

Narcissists strip you of your self-worth.

Thank you!

Great insight. Wonderfully worded.

THANK YOU FOR THE LESSONS, THEY ALLMOST KILLED ME, BUT TOOK AWAY MY LIFE YEAH TRULY, WHO CAN LIVE WITHOUT THEM, I REALLY DONT KNOW OF ONE, WHO COME ALONG, GOT TROUGHT THIS LIFE WITHOUT ONE OR TWO=SO I SAY :*THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME KNOW HOW YOU FEEL...IT MUST BE REAL.

Thankyou for your information it taught me a lot about recognising what is narcissistic abuse and it implications I've been in a narcissistic relationship for over 45 years putting up with it and destroying my health and mentally and physically they never change I put up with it for the sake of the children but that was a big mistake these people have twisted minds they put on a different face in front of others so they are considered lovely persons Thankyou doctor for your help

This happened to me

This is what I'm afraid of.

Omg the exact same thing is happening with my husband, he’s smooozing the therapist. I went in separately and described what I was going thru with him she said no one should be treated like that. The next session with both of us he threw me under the bus and she didn’t even mention our session together where I shared with her, I was so angry with both of them, no body is listening to me!!!! It’s been 16 yrs of this BS and I’m just starting to understand it now.

Don’t stay with them get out if you can. The child will have such a terrible example of what’s healthy and unhealthy. They will become like the Narc ( this happened to me) and you are basically saying if you stay that this is how you should be as a husband, this is the way you should treat a woman and child, wrong message will screw them up for life.

Good for you Sandy!

He has gone silent for a reason. You're playing the 'judge' . Maybe the only people good enough for you, are "church members". *Who's really the narcissist*?

I have a friend the same way. He talks and complains about work all the time. I'll talk to him like hours and hours about it. Day after day. Week after week. Then I complained about this guy at work like 3 or 4 times over a month. He then brought up a very boring mundane dream where nothing happened (he told me he asked for pizza and his grandpa said no. Some how that was supposed to be interesting and worthy of deep insight) I told him I don't think it means anything and he went off on me. Complaining about all the times I talked about work and he listened. 4 times for me vs 457 times for him. I truly see that all he cares about is my response to his problems, ideas, situations etc. He doesn't give a crap about an equal relationship.

A few years ago I did no contact with my brother & his wife because of similar issues (more with her than him but he enabled her). I’ve never looked back. I still hear about her shenanigans from other family members and each incident reminds me I made the right choice. In other words, you’re doing the right thing by putting yourself first. And you’re not at all alone. 💟⭐️

Wisconsin Wanderer It's been 11 yrs for me... & I know EXACTLY what you mean by "A wrung out dish rag" 😣

I don't think I'll ever be the same.

@@Joe-to8og I hear ya Joe that relationship tore my heart out. Im in therapy, hopefully I can trust again !! One day at a time! Be well my friend.

There are trustworthy people around maybe not as many but I think you ll be able to snuff out the mold 🌹

I have several people that are terrible to me, ex-husband, son, and his NPD wife, to say the least. My son and his narc wife aren't talking to me since they got married in May. Narc DIL talked to me like crap all day at the wedding and it started a week before the wedding her getting crappy with me. Ended up getting into an argument with her on the wedding day evening. I told her to stop talking to me like I'm a piece of crap. She threatened to beat me up, so my son comes into the room screaming at me and f-ing at me. He then proceeds to slap me across the face. I was left bloody and bruised. He cut me on the bridge of my nose from his wedding ring with a scar now. I had to have the spot on the bridge of my cut out, it was turning into basel cells in biopsy. But I'm the A$$H### here, right?

I'm in the healing process as well.

Three years now post- healing. Getting stronger everyday.

So much destruction... and they do it knowingly and intentionally to leave a person completely broken :-(

My kids (mid thirties) didn't know I could laugh and joke. Took a lot of time after leaving before I could laugh and kids looked at one another and said 'is that you Mum.' Feels good.

I am so glad for you Lisa. I have been on the same road and is now planning the flee option. How did he let you go?

Attention! This guy is a common scammer who has stolen the picture of the Doc and Laura, don't fall for it

good to know!!!!!!

@@mikediamond353 Thanks for posting the warning about that weirdness. Gotta wonder about people who do that junk. They really have nothing better to do? Sad.

My hair started falling out in clumps after all the stress in my relationship with a narcissist.

@@asmallbitchybanana The same happened to me, I understand you.

I thought that was just what reality is. in fact it is, but it's not the good part of reality, that part of reality I should have been kept away from

Donna-Marie Broomfield,You look stunning,hope you are not with a narc 😈!

Yes the permanent sense of impending doom. So glad I only get it intermittently now - usually prompted by proximity to the place or person I stepped away from. Wouldn’t it have been good if we had been taught this stuff at school?!

"Impending doom, for no particular reason..." I hear you.

Yes, yes, yes. All of the above. Strongly covert narcissist mother. So bad had to go no contact with her in my late 40s. Now am 68 & only just learned about narcissism 1 yr ago. - With God's help am slowing healing.

Living on eggshells does not described how I lived for the last few years. I lived in a very small world, were I did not have the right to an opinion. I stopped talking at all, I learned only to agree and complement the the narcissist. The most smallest comment could turned into a bust of anger and it would be devastating for me.

Sorry you are experiencing such isolation. I can relate to being ignored. I’m trying to muster up the courage to ask my wife for 15 minutes of her time so we can just catch up on various things. I have been trying to talk about getting 15 minutes of her time for a week now without any success. Therapist says that the opposite of love isn’t hatred, but rather the opposite is ‘indifference’ which really hurts as you know. Hang in there Kathleen. Wishing you the best…Ed

Only 80%?

YES!!!!! I am alone most of the time, and walking on eggshells the rest of the time. Sometimes if I try to talk about something when he gets home, always after 9:00pm, he will just ignore me or get really agitated with me. I know I better stop or it will spiral down into him flipping out.

me too, JS...me too...still Standing though, finally free..except...the nightmares. 💜

You nailed it JS.

Gotcha!!! Same here only back again for a big kick again hosting a person who lost their farm ...trying to get through legal issues!!! At 74 it is time to be alone and enjoy me!!!soon!!

I'm sure glad you are ignoring the scammer who has the screen name: "Surviving narcissism replied"

Similar story. I’m in the clawing stage right now. Best wishes. Healthy is beautiful!!

Yes - migraine, heart palpitations, chronic heartburn.... It’s no good trying to persuade yourself ‘it’s all in your head’ when your body is trying to draw your attention to the toxins!!

THE STRESS OF BEING AROUND THESE TOXIC PEOPLE IS EXHAUSTING, & DETRIMENTAL TO ONE PHYSICAL, SPIRITUAL, EMOTIONAL, & MENTAL HEALTH...PRAY WE ALL SURVIVE THE NARC ABUSE, & THRIVE IN OUR OWN LIVES...GOD HELP US ALL!! ♡☆♡

I can relate to this.

Me too!

Countless times I have said I would never do anything to intentionally hurt someone and my narc mom would say "oh I know you wouldn't but you're different than me"

Same thing here. It's been two years since I found out just what kind of a guy I had fallen for, and yet, every day, I ruminate about my heartbreak. I can't stop picturing my ex and the woman he cheated with. I hate them both. I really want some well-timed revenge too. They don't deserve to be happy together .

When you’ve had the 💩kicked out of you by everyone everywhere it’s normal to want revenge or justice. I should be a millionaire because of the damages that have been done to me. I deserve justice.

@ Red y not find yourself a better fit 🌹

KARMA NOT GOD !

I want to save this so I can remember the impact this is having on me. It makes me feel like I’m losing my mind, my self, everything. My children won’t hardly have anything to do with me because I am still with him. It’s such a terrible feeling. I have gone 8 hours on a trip without saying anything, for fear it would start a fight and spiral down. We’ve even gone a whole day at home together without a word being spoken. My punishment for something…. I do some much wrong, if I don’t journal it, I can’t remember any more.

TY 🤗🙌❤️

I was the good one in the narcissistic family too and my parents called me the devil. Ha! They were both devils and God knows that. I had a vision of my father burning in red flames just the other day. It actually made me wince it was so scary but that’s exactly what he deserved.

sometimes who put the blame first is the the one who you need to watch out. It's a mind game with them

Realisation can be a shock especially when we see how deep and conditioned we are in it. No contact is the very best way. Everything they do is about baiting, provoking and control. They will never change.

Block their contact info on all platforms. If there's an emergency, you can hear about it from the authorities

@@yohanessaputra9274 That is a very insightful comment, that makes you. I will certainly adhere to this in future😀

Wishing you the best...keep going

"I'm so happy for you God-bless you and your life nowI😇

@@hggtg Thank you! You too!

By "it" can't be fixed I'm assuming you mean the narc? Because "we" can. And better late than never. I'm 67 and learn and see new things everyday. Keep on truckin honey! LOL. It only gets BETTER day by day. And for me, I have to remind myself continually that it will be ok. There's no catastrophe behind the door. It's OK! 😉💖💙💜💚👍😉🌻🌹

I know nurses, doctors as well as other compassionate workers often run into compassion fatigue. If your highly empathetic please monitor your own self care and preserve this gift! Because it is a huge gift to all lives it touches…. Not unlike a hug, when one is hurting.

Janis Gaines,You are beautiful,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!

B Cason,You look stunning,hope you are not with a narc 😈!

Happened to me too

I am so sorry this happened to you. I am currently in a relationship with a narcissist and am sharing a household. Just his negative energy when he is home is enough to cause anything from lack of appetite and stomach butterflies to a flare up of my multiple sclerosis symptoms. I believe I am suffering from chronic stress which is so dangerous! I am learning how to establish and maintain boundaries and distance myself emotionally so that I can do what I need to do: leave this toxic person!

Sorry

I ended up having seizures while sleeping next to Anger 🙏

That's a sign for us all to keep finding ways for us to strengthen ourselves to rise above allowing their poison to bring us to that point. Knowledge is POWER. It's happened to me more than once. Never give up, out or in. Keep growing in knowledge and strength.

That is truly inspiring! I’m very much the same way. I’m developing it. Through self love and respect. Learning to use my empathetic skills, my natural sense of intuition and continue to practice these healing ways I grow. Knowing I’m not my thoughts or feelings is another route that’s armed me with truest acceptance of self. Which all narcs simply do not, never will sense of self.

This really is inspiring and absolutely beautiful. I need your girlfriend as a best friend lol I think it takes a warrior to deal with these demons. I'm getting there. I can feel the soul of your girlfriend through your comment. Hears to us Warriors 😊

@@katieluscombe4261 thanks Katie! She’s truly one in a million!

We need your friends script!!

Bro where did you find that keeper, she got a sister lmao

Paul. I know exactly what you mean. It's very difficult.

Mommy Dearest.😱

So true, they even guilt you to respectful even when you've been treated like a piece of shit

So right. I only understood what type of mother I had Well After being 40. I Will always be near to her in her time of Need but I am emotionally detached and just defend myself the best I can. The crucial....but also devastating thing...Is that you REALIZE that it's not a joke...this badness called narcissism Is real. PS: realized It about the man I married too...separated and now in peace.

DITTO !!

I hope you have escaped and remember how truly valuable you are.

I HAVE A NARC MOTHER, SHE MARRIED A NARC , (STEPFATHER), HIS GOLDEN CHILD SON...ANOTHER ABUSIVE NARC...MY CHILDHOOD WAS ROBBED BY THE MYSOGENOUS, NARCISSISTIC, PSYCHOPATHIC ABUSE...I SURVIVED BY LEAVING HOME AT 14...I SURVIVED ALL THAT, & END ED UP WITH A NARC PARTNER...WORKING ON MYSELF STILL, WORKING ON A PLAN AT 62...TO LIVE MY OWN LIFE, WITHOUT THE ABUSE...ONE DAY AT A TIME....♡☆♡

Get out no matter what! No job or family member is worth all of their abuse!

Mine is my daughter in law, she has banned me from my son and grandchildren. I am so so lost... I dont know what to do....

What do you do when it's your 32 year old granddaughter who has pretty much controlled the family all of her life and now she has targeted me and isn't willing to talk to me and has told my daughter that I am dead to her. I am crushed. I really need some advice.

I wish I could figure out how to not allow these things to get to me. I’ve been married to a narc for 33 years. We are both in our late 60 s now. Things are worse than ever. Because of our financial situation and having adult children still dependent, I cannot figure out how we would survive if I divorced him. I try and try to be rational and not engage with him and keep my cool… to separate myself from everything and just go about living a life independent from him but it seems impossible. I have been treated for major depression and anxiety throughout this marriage.I have had 15 years of therapy. I have gone to women’s shelters.I feel that the stress from living this way is literally killing me but I don’t see an alternative.

@@Voyeur53 I am sorry you are going through this. I too feel stuck. I have recently realized through videos such as this that I am living with a narc and I am not crazy. I just left a toxic work environment a few months ago as well so double whammy! Stay strong and keep moving forward!! You are worth it!!!

@@Voyeur53 I had similar situation, as I see you cant figure out how to get away from him and keep all the other things the same. But in order to have something new you have to let go things that you want to preserve. There are losses in life with narc. Thats a fact. So get divorse first, change something in that old same formula and then the other things have to change. You are afraid to lose something afraid to risk. But it is life and we need to grow, risk, try. Win and loose. Maybe then your adult kids finally move and became idependant of you wich is normal actually? People do what they do because they can..if they cannot, they actually change... Its painful but right...

I was responded with “oh here we go, you women with your woe is me but forget that who brings in the money”. When I mistakenly TRIED in this 16 year long hell to discuss our son’s study ideas when he turns 18 (the only reason im unable to relocate). The doctor has described everything to a T!! The funny thing is that my mother is also a narcissist so after she and my narcissistic husband locked horns and even though I was a passive onlooker, I was in trouble for not leaping to his defence (they were both historical gaslighting idiots at that time) and so my Mother ended up storming out and going home. Because I live life wound up like a coil, we had words (I stayed cool but firm and to the point) so after she was still being her narcissistic self, she told me she googled everything and it turns out she thinks my change of life caused that. 😳😳😳

@@Voyeur53 you poor darling. My heart aches for you as I’m in your shoes at 57 xxxxx

I have considered the same analogy of being caught in the spider’s web. It’s like you can’t get away from them and they drain you.

I’m thankful I had just enough life to escape the web - and the Lord is restoring my soul😉

Yes that was exactly me - always an exhausting type of tiredness when around my mother. Had to go no contact in my late 40s. At that time didn't know what I was dealing with. (And they never change - only get worse when you try to leave.) Just knew I had to get away tho but everyone blamed me since they only saw her nice side so felt totally orphaned. Am 68 now & still trying to heal. These type videos help so much.

@@pegihaider813 I am married to a toxic narcissist, who uses the silent treatment on me when I set boundaries. I am exhausted all the time, and this might be why. I thought it might be my age (70). I have horrible sleep issues, and I now can see that the mind-body connection is real. I spend so much time fantacizing about leaving him. I am American, living overseas, and with beloved pets, so leaving will be complicated. But I'm figuring out a plan. He is so personalbe with other people, and so mean with me. I know I will take the fall for leaving him, but that is the price I will be willing to pay. I can identify with you, as I think you are the only commenter who mentioned that others only see your mother's nice side. Some here! People fawn over my husband, not knowing his negative qualities.

Just a question, could a narc be a child molester? His own child, ? I need answers !

You Are Exhausted Because They Are Parasites!!!

@@annahayes1007 please leave!! I went through this!! They are DEADLY!!! The silent Treatment is called stonewalling!

I didn’t think about that last one, I didn’t ‘try’ to be phoney but it just didn’t seem safe to allow anyone else to know the truth about him - I just told myself it was all my own fault....

Pocahontas, find a good counselor, or contact the man making this video, and find a way to get out. I was married for 24 years to a controlling narcissist, found a good psychologist, and he helped me claw my way out. Now my life is joyful, happy, blissful, and peaceful.

Eh get away from him

The narc I know goes to a Gospel church on a Sunday and the rest of the week is spent watching Internet porn, lying like a child, being obnoxious and selfish etc etc. Total hypocrite. Will end his days dancing with the devil.

I worked with 2 of them and 1 of them was my daughter. The abuse in awlful!

Me too - but when those words first came out of my mouth I didn’t realise when they pointed to - took me 15 years (more!). I hope the world (especially those in it who are called on to ‘help’) is wising up.

Sun Dancer Me too! ❤

Me too! So much waste and wanting to go back and do it all over...now I’m spending every moment being the best I can be and that has helped me now in my journey. Best wishes to you both!

I'm in forty years ! Thank God for Team Healthy !

Now that im a father i am finally to a new level of understanding myself i am able to withstand and rise above the abuse of my narc twin brother. I love him deeply but now i guard my boundries and im not falling for his emotional manipulation. It feels so liberating, im now in control of myself.

@@kathleenmilano4850 Same here. Forty years.

I’d forgotten that old ‘tone of voice’ thing!! Phew - don’t have to work in that anymore!

I have tried office type counseling, did nothing for me. These videos are golden!!

I just went through the same thing, then my stupid self. Met another one!😩😩

@@kikataye6293 You're not stupid one bit. Don't let em do that to you, they're pros at what they do and many are just learning of their sick games. Just study a little more perhaps and give it more time before you date again so you know you're safer next round. So many big hugs to you.

@@francinesmith8109 thank you, will do

You're better off with Dr. C as your therapist. My ex is a severe narc who happens to be a mental-health therapist with a full-time practice. He loves the attention and control over his patients. I feel so sorry for them.

Congratulations!

Yes! You are a nice person! Thats what our problem was

Thanks for the encouragement.

Exactly. If they were asshats all the time, they couldn’t get narcissistic supply bc nobody would tolerate their company. So they alternate between love bombing and devaluation, ie the sweet/mean cycle. I’m moving out, away from my Narc and suddenly the criticism have suddenly stopped (my laugh, my voice, my jokes, everything was criticized) to saccharine sweet phony love bombing bc she is losing her supply. They are so manipulative.

Stay strong and keep learning, H D. Dr. C

Well said!

If only I knew that 30 years ago!

@@emilywilson7308 Well, I am 21 years old. And I am going crazy about this. My girlfriend has very nice qualities, she sticks around, thats the thing I love the most on her. We have fun, a great time. We have passionate sex.(And I know we should not, because it blures my vision for what she really is) But I am realising that she has ego problems, some atitude problems. She sometimes blames me (or others) for things that I dont have the guilt, or even control. The spends more time "bruuuhh, This happend to me, what a shit, What did I did to deserve this" and not just fixing the issue. She is studying ( more than I am) at lawschool, trying to be a lawyer.. But she doesnt really know things that trully matter in these days... She is a bit superficial.. instagram.. And if I talked to her about what she learned these weeks she wont remember anything. I may be wrong... I do believe its Ego that drives her to lawschool.. Sometimes things arent going as she wanted them to be, or as good as she thinks they are... But she talks about how independent and "like a boss " she is. She even acted like i was not there in a dinner familly and acted a bit rude with me, she turned into another diferent person. She has the syndrome of "always right", a bit bit shallow, and our priorities are a bit twisted. For me familly comes first, she needs success shine, not only familly. She needs to do her nails every month, too wear vercate, gucci, brand clothes, and she even got mad/sad at me because of the way I dress when we went to dinner at a mall mc donalds (even I was higienised, and normal dressing lmao) She lies to her familly if its convenient for her, I mean, when we are kids, or teenagers we lie about somethings to our parents or grandparents, but as we grow up, we start to assume our things. But we all lie from times to times.. She comes from a rich familly, they were materially spoiled... her sister with 27 years old is ABSOLUTE narcisist. I know she really is. And I dont know till what point my gf isnt narcisist too.. she may not me that degree, but still is.. And for real, I am feeling bad because I feel like "Am I a narcisist too" because I really am tired of some issues that never change.. I am realising I will not change her vision of the world, or change her foe the best. I believe people can change, but not all do. And its our own job to fix ourselfs. I cant do nothing. Sometimes when I tell her things she acts smilling, she is just never wrong. But I am loosing it. These days I talked to her about complex things, marxism, "Progressism" (lol), conservative values, abortion, pandemic issues, life purpose, death, things a bit more tuff or complex.. I want her to stimulate more her brain. I dont want a shallow person to raise my kids. I dont want to feel like shes dumb at a familly dinner. I also told her I wanted her to change those atittudes/behaviours, those ego, narcisist atittudes. Because they are harm to herself, and our relationship. I cant stand more of that. I told her I wanted us to be more (because we are catholic) to be even more catholic, more deeply, understand things like castidy/castity (I dont know how to spell, basically not having sex during dating) for us to realise if we love each other, or use each other. To be honest I am afraid She will break up because of that lmao, it hurts my ego, but fuck that I want love not lust. It goes, something better cames I hope. But I am concerned if I am beeing a bit narcisist myself because I am tired... And i am realising I cant fix her. And If I stay with her, blinding myself with sex/lust, to some atitude and intelectua issues, and diferrences on our priorities.. It can be far more damaging than a breakup. I feel like I am putting a bit anger/frustration. I am beeing selfish now, a bit narc. But I cant act like its all okay. For real sometimes I think I want more, since I will not be able to fix her. But I dont want to turn myself into a narcisist. First step I need to do, keep telling things as they are and No sex with her. Please tell me, am I beeing selfish? A Narcisist too? I feel like I am putting pressure on her. Telling her what She must change for this to Work out. Despite my best intentons, isnt that a bit narcisist of myself? I cherish her, I love her. I want us to help each other grow. But yeah I also feel like, leaving my ego of her with someone else, and my sexual cravings, yeah I should probably be more eye open to what ahe really is, not what I think she is.

@@jocampos7002 she doesn’t sound like the right person for you. Don’t waste your life trying to change someone. It makes life difficult for you and her. It’s hard when you love someone to admit that it’s not a good match. Give yourself some time alone to think about what you need and want in a relationship.

@@emilywilson7308 First of all thanks for your reply! I really apreciate. Its not beeing easy.. I am sad you know, she has got a lot of potential.. I do believe she has.. I love her, and care about her. We have fun a lot, I believe we get along quite well, or am I blinded for lust and sex, I dont know, bit thats my problem. When things get more serious it will be a problem I guess.. She was raised in a rich familly, and spoiled a bit too much.. To be honest, her sister is a complete narcisist. But total. My girlfriend is way better than her older sister.. I know it has a lot to do in the way they were raised and spoiled.. still, I must not be afraid of telling things as they are, I feel like now I am beeing the toxic one, talking all of this, but if I dont start to realise and tell myself her behaviours and red flags, I will always be blind for what she really is.. And things will get worst and time do not comes back.. And I must face the fact that I can't change her, its her job to fix herself. I can try a lot, but its only her job. She has got ego problems, she has some toxic behaviours, like blaming me (or others) for some of her issues. She also victimizes herself.. "Why me", "I dont deserve this".. Like a kid you feel me? Just sometimes.. She used to have problems in saying "Im sorry", and sometimes when she says it, I feel like she doesnt really mean it, or mean it but its not that big of a deal, and sometimes she says sorry but acts like she is the one mad with me, acta Like she is tired.. I feel like she is a shallow person, appearences, clothes (gucci, vercates..), bags/purses from luis vittom etc, rings, she cares a lot of appearences and sometimes about how others dress around her. She has got many things for her parents money. I believe it has weakened her, because all the time you invest in superficiality, its time you dont inves in deep things, caracter, intelectual things, emocional issues. Indo believe she lacks of skills, to mantains that lifestyle, with the "comodism" she has.. She had a top Mercedes and not even had a drivers lincense. Thats not the problem itself but she is like feeling entitled to success.. For real I am a bit concerned how she will face things when shit hits the fam. How she will face life (and others) if she cant have the same lifestyle by her own, as the one she was raised.. Maybee I am beeing selfish, but sometimes I think I want more than this. I want a woman that I know If I die, she will raise my kids properly and well. More intelectual, more modest in someways.. A woman that understands she IS the super woman. She doesnt need to have the suit to feel like the super woman, she doesnt even have to proof to others. She puts her familly and good values over materialism and stuff. Maybee I should get heartbroken, sad, have a bad time, its fucked lol.. Maybee seeing with other guy.. But invest in myself, and be me, built me. And than one day, When I can, I will be the best me for a better woman for me. I am realising I cant change her. And I dont know if its wise to wait to we are 36 to see how things went.. Many red flags.. Thanks for your time, Love from Portugal 💪🏼

Yes I hate that pattern of talking smack about me to everyone in the community especially a given whenever I would attempt to put some distance or establish boundary between a narcissistic personality and myself. Even just expressing a need or feelings would result in a negative reaction and then a label slapped on me. Not to my face. But I’d hear it from mutual acquaintances. Worse within my family. Ugh.

Congratulations - I’m always cheered when I see that anyone gets away before decades of ‘accommodating’ have gone on!

That sounds like my egg donor.

The poisoning continues but I’m only an indirect victim now. That’s so much easier to live with!

Pleased for you! Dr. C

I know a man who can bring back] your ex within 2days without delay he helped me few weeks ago he does a perfect work, I'm assuring you are gonna testify💯💯.

Send him a ❤️❣️❣️ message on WhatsApp.

I’m right there with you.

Yes, a long time to get better - but you never could get better while still there (and you would have got worse!) so it’s all good really!

Thank you Dorothy. The way you worded that helped me. That is exactly my life. I "feel" their moods deeply and I want to help Where did I get that responsibility? My Mom started it and everyone followed suit. The weird thing is whether I "helped" in their eyes or not... I'm always still wrong and a reject to them. As an adult when I tried to distance and not " help", this is when I'm in big trouble because I didn't care enough to help. Never win with them. Your wordage will remind me I'm not responsible for their moods and has helped in my healing. Thank you.

Stay strong Janet. You can claim all those things back for yourself.I just escaped after 20 years. I can't imagine doing it for another 20. You are a strong person who is worthy of love , peace and happiness.God bless you ❤❤

I am right there with you.

You should have the same freedom to be yourself as anyone else. Best wishes to you. Dr. C

@@SurvivingNarcissism Thank you for your kind words. Needed the reminder since my whole family is coming to town in November. I am quite nervous........feel like running away for that week in November.

I just watched this video and after I cried my eyes out - my life was unveiled. This was the awakening that I've been asking for . I've asked why do I have such self destuctive behaviors? I grew up with the narcissist and currently live with two of them - lucky me! I also know that love is the answer - not just for them but for myself. I also believe that we come into this life with certain contracts with other people and they will show ( often in a perceived negative way) us how to awaken to our true nature. we don't shoot the messenger - we rise above and hopefully forgive My life is now about forgiveness and releasing anger Thanks for your comments

Thank you, Brett!

You are not alone. Remember Dignity, respect and civility (per Dr. C). Consult your family physician and Protection from Abuse Professionals, for yourself and any children involved. Do not second guess yourself on this one. No one should live in fear of harm. Sincerely, No Eggshells Nana Prayers sent. 🙏

@@maureen.k9527 she doesn't want him back

@@maureen.k9527 Scavenger!

I can't get hom out of my head