Different clowns, but all in the same circus.

They are all preditors, in a different kind of way searching for a prey. Beware of the fact that they really are.

"Most important: how it affects you, because that's what matters." Thank you!

I think one characteristic all narcissists have in common might be that Jekyll and Hyde thing

I experienced the Amorous narcissist he used his sexual charisma & charm to lure me and seduce me.... He was a predator online and offline whilst in a relationship with me... I was devastated with the lies and gaslighting... 4yrs later walked away, now in the process of healing.

Being involved with a vulnerable narcissist totally blind-sided me, and I'm a MH professional! Boy, do I feel foolish! Thank You, Dr. Ramani for everything You Do, and ARE! Lots of Respect, Love & Hugs :)

Narcissism Continuum.. A phenomenon where a person enters only with the dreams and exits only with the nightmares.. A real trauma factory!

There's a smell of sulfur about all types of narcissists.

Our different types of feelings get so mixed up. Not able to differentiate between anger, grief and sadness.

I wish you were my Therapist 😢

What took me so long to understand the narcissist in my life - my mother did a little bit of everything. There was no mold for her. From what I've heard other victims say, their experiences are also quite varied. My mother would push her agenda, try guilt, if that didn't work, she played the victim card, and then played the martyr when things came down. She threw me under the bus with everyone. So, there were little bits and pieces from each type all rolled into this one woman.

0:55 1, The Unprincipled Narcissist 1:42 2, The Amorous Narcissist 4:02 3, The Elitist Narcissist 6:12 4, The Compensatory Narcissist 7:56 5, The Normal Narcissist

Like so many other's, I have to say thank you! I dont think you will ever truly know how many lives you have saved. Just knowing i can reference your knowledge when ever im dealing with the chaos. Is extremely comforting.

"How their behavior affects you". Key statement!

I think we should stop calling all of these categories types and just start calling them features or something like that because the more I learn-My ex was cerebral, conversational, cheerful, self-righteous, neglectful, and vulnerable! Now I would also add elitist! At what point does the list of types become meaningless when there’s so much overlap and one person can harbor aspects of so many different types? Yeah-Dr. Ramani addresses this at the very end of this video. Agreed.

The core is, that narcissists cant admit to themselves or others that they did wrong, that they were wrong. Whenever they feel shamed, they minimize, project, they DARVO, etc. They double down. They rationalize they are right so they have to keep on doing like that. Thats the core. A defect in the personality. A personality should be able to balance proyecting the ego from attacks, versus actually learnjng from mistakes. In narcs, the ego is protected at the expense of being able to see the're wrong.

Could you make a video about narcissists who know about narcissism and try to mask theirs traits?

The branches may all look different but it’s the same gnarly tree that sways to one note: Me, me, me. (Okay, it’s mi,mi,mi but you know what I mean.)

Thank you for your information I am in a Covert Narc. relationship, and I am making a plan to leave him. It is very difficult because he doesn't leave me with much time to myself. I am gathering information, I have a circle of supporters to help me. I am on my way out. Thanks

It’s those “normal” ones that can really trip you up! Always flying under the radar with the red flags well concealed😫 And of course they always make their victim feel like they are the weirdo!

Elitist narcissist to me, "Now I'm going to tell you something you probably don't understand because you didn't go to private school...." It was something everyone knows.

Sexlessness. Sharing a bed with someone who doesn’t acknowledge you are a sexual being hurts so much. I was in a sexless marriage for years. Being a woman with a high libido, I felt inadequate. Worst I feel invisible. The man who was “supposed” to want me, just didn’t. We talked about it many times, more than I can recall now. It was always me. I wanted too much - once a week was too much for him. I didn’t initiate - he was always complaining of headaches, stomaches, always stressed, always tired. I was too sexual - when being subtle doesn’t work, what is next? Explicitly saying I wanted sex. Oh but then it was not appropriate. Conversations would end up with him saying he didn’t feel desired or I made him feel emasculated because he didn’t want sex as much as I did. Yeah, it was always me. I could never win. While we were dating we would have a decent amount of sex, it was good. The first huge red flag was not having sex in our honeymoon - which I ignored. It rapidly decrease to once a week, then every other week. Years gone by it was months in between, by the time we divorced it was over a year with no sex. I cried myself to sleep more times that I can count. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. Was I that undesirable? Was I repulsive? After those conversations, I just stopped trying, initiating, mentioning sex. We were still loving - holding hands, hugging, kissing - but sex was off the table. He then cheated on me. Swore he had sex only 4 times in a year (or more) long affair. It didn’t matter. For years my self worth was damaged by him, years of low self esteem, years of feeling less of a woman, the marriage that was more than over, waiting in hospice, really ended. Funny how things are, I asked him for a divorce, he manipulated me into staying, next day his infidelity came to light. I was out as soon as I could. Best thing of my life. Additionally, That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when he or she do it again. The best thing is to hire a private investigator digitalinvestigate@gmail.com to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me...

My step-father was a narcissist and had paranoic schitzephrenia. That combo is scary

When the amorous unprincipled narcissist is a personal trainer exploiting his clients, it’s just awful.

There’s also “the ruiner” & “the slaver”. Among others.

“Normal narcissist”-if there ever was a misnomer.

The most important thing is to get in touch with your emotions and experience how the person makes you feel and walk away from the jerks. Thank you dr Ramani ❤😊

It is serendipitous this was posted on the birthday of the most malevolent n-ex I have ever encountered. Got out - alive - reletively quickly, but scars burned deeply to my soul. I look at this content as a "Requiem for EVIL!" Thanks, Dr. Ramani, for shining your powerful Narc-ray on these types so we all may live a life well-learned! Stay Blessed!

And then you have a narcissist who has ALL of these ROLLED INTO ONE.

There's no excuse with what some people have done I appreciate the descriptions and healing through all this abuse and betrayal is really exhausting

The variability factor may just be 'personality' But the underlying patterns are there and, ultimately, how you feel or how they make you feel, or treat you

Excellent to inform others of different types of narcissism. If you don’t do it as a professional in the area, someone else is GOING TO DO IT, and they will muddy the discourse. Depress the world. The information is important. On the contrary, it might actually help survivors to make even more sense and feel even more relief than they already feel. Win win win.

The most dangerous type leading to discard in form of murder, replacement with another love of the life in the queue ( without empathy).

They used to be talked about in catagories of overt (grandiose), covert (vulnerable), somatic (physical), cerebral (intelect). Usually that coverts were more cerebral and somatic ones more likely to be overts. It was also said that all narcissists go through cycles of being somatic and cerebral. I think these categories are just like any categories people are put in - no one is going to fit exactly in one and stay there. Some of it is because of how different situations bring out different aspects of a person. What we can learn from catagorising the narc in our life is where our weaknesses are. Our protection from abusers is within healing our own wounding that makes us blindly vulnerable.

Thank you so much, Dr. Ramani!❤ I was 28 years with an amourous narcissist, was discarded for a new supply. Not younger but better status. Journalist vs teacher. He is 64 now and I think he has to change for different supply. Although there were always traces of other types all the time. But in the beginning he told me I saved his life and I wasn't the person to throw one away who is telling me I am the rescue.

You are the Needledrop of narcissism KZfaq. That's a good thing

Thank you for educating🙏

They can call it whatever they want to. It’s really just more ways of saying the same things about what’s been going on all along.

It confirms my suspicion that a narcissist will continue their bad behaviors of betrayal and pillaging of others by willful choice and not by their lack of capacity to accept and show mutual love 💔 In God I Trust 🙏

OMG thank you, thank you again you always clear things up. My Mother is a typical narcassist she is now 91 and getting worse in old age. Then to add to this my daughter married a malignant covert narcasist and i believe my daughter is also a narcassist she is always bragging, lying, looking down on people, over exagerating her finances, projecting her life as perfect, bragging about anyone she thinks is famous and how they think she is amazing, she thinks that everone is jealous of her, she behaves like she has compassion but only with words never with actions.....not even with her children.

Amorous Narcissist. To this day I felted that my ex was a narcissist, although I could never find the right type to match her behavior, so I lived in ambivalent thoughts. Amorous Narcissist. This is, in fact, the missing major piece of the puzzle in my mind. The second year I'm waking up with nightmares, beating my own rage at world, going to therapy and trying to learn the trust shattered by her treatment of me. It's good to finally hear from a specialist that this type does exist after all.

Variability in narcissism is like the mixer on your stereo. A little more bass here, a little more treble there. The severity in narcissism is like your volume; it's turned up or it's turned down.

I dated an amorous type. “Dated” isn’t really the word. It was NOT technically a real relationship, but anyways. Looking back, even though the sex was great, it took me a long time to realize why the sex was not the greatest. A big part of sex (for me) is connection and intimacy. The big thing I was missing in that “relationship” was emotional safety and intimacy. Thus I was never able to let go.

Thank you for sharing! I’m going to stick with the ones you shared with us 😂 they are all stressful and unnerving and I stay away from them at every chance!

The flavours of narcissism is where people love to get stuck, or expert on. The key is the core behaviours of love bombing, building up the false promises and images of a future, followed by increasing disparagement, game playing, emotional abuse, and then discard. Leaving you perplexed and wishing for that original lovecbomombing nice person to return, AND THE LIES TO BE TRUE. Once we understand we've been conned, it's easier to let go, and start healing. Labels won't change the con game, nor make you able to fix them.

Sounds like the model has a core….they use what’s available, looks, charm, family etc

I ended an acquaintanceship when I noticed narcissistic and dishonest behavior and then suddenly, they wanted my attention more than ever. I would ignore them, and they couldn't stand it! They would insert themselves into my other conversations and try to interrupt me. I got ambushed recently when they said, "I JUST wanted to say hi!" Seems so innocent, right? Not. I said calmly, "You sure seem to want my attention and I really don't want yours." They asked, 'Why?" (So they could explain it away or gaslight me) and I shook my head (no) and walked away. Having DEEP as a coping tool really helped. D=Don't Defend, E=Don't Explain, E= Don't Engage, P= Don't personalize. Thank you for that and for so much more. I'm 4 years post narc and I'm seeing the signs right away now. Hurtful people hurt people. Let them go!

I just got rid of a so called best friend who was not only a narcissist (undiagnosed but has all the criteria- vulnerable covert narcissist to be exact) but they also suffered from HPD and BPD. It was the most draining friendship I ever had. And as an empath and infj it was a dangerous relationship. It got bad and turned into the fighting territory. I didnt even realize he was a narcissist until after the fact I watched your videos. narcissist unfortunately tend to be attracted to me.

Millon was brillant. They're all performative. No type constancy oscillation between types. Boundaries

Rumination: I decided to let it go last week as my blood pressure reached 200/154. I decided I can't do it anymore. 4 years of horror. But today I saw my grand daughter and on the way home she said "oh mum wants my overalls back" . Now, this woman has everything I own, truly, and kept all the clothes I got them at Xmas once my son escaped. There's nothing she hasn't got as I have become homeless and now he is too (again) but she was glad and allowed him back in her house to maintain total control and not have to share the kids. Anyhow, I. Said to my 10 year old, tell mum she can have it all, I don't care anymore but when you come to visit, just bring a change of clothes and a jumper. Her response: I can't Grammy. Whenever I come she says "I don't need a change of clothes, I can just come home" and " b) if I say that she will know I told you. I'm just suppose to find them & sneak them home". God I wish you were my therapist Dr Ramani but I can't afford the healing program. But I than you for your content

Thank you for your straightforward, accurate, informative and brilliant videos.

I want to know about all kinds of narcissism. Forewarned is forearmed. We need all the info we can get. IMHO, the covert narcissist did not need to be renamed. Covert is the truth. Only their victims are vulnerable. They're not out for compensatory behavior... they're out to destroy victims. 🎉 🎉

The queen is back love you ❤

Wow! Early once again! Hi, Dr. Ramani! Thank you for everything you have done on this channel, and making me feel less alone in this and so many, many other people! You're truly amazing! :)

Okay everybody. We’ve all heard some phrase or something that our narcissist has said that, in hindsight, was something that we should have run from… right then. What was it? Mine: “I’m not lazy. I’m efficient.” In a joking and friendly manner. “You know. I just don’t like expectations. I don’t put them on you, don’t put them on me.” While explaining how his last relationship was just so toxic and demanding. “You don’t get my money or my time unless you earn it.” Talking about how exclusive it is to be with him.

It feels for me that the narcissistic person in my life is all those …and more!! Gosh darn!

Unfortunately i met ALL of them, because they are/were my family members. Those in the family that weren't "truly" a narcissist, they were flying monkeys, they comformed into the family system not wanting to be targeted. My last and most painful discovery was about a childhood friend of mine (whom i very much respected) turned out to be a puppet of my family and backstabbed me along with my family members. I'm 68 yrs old and i can't trust anybody ... anymore 😢

Thankyou Dr. Ramani ❤❤❤

Lord have mercy! I’m going to find the aliens, I’d rather live with them 😂😂

What about religous narc

I have a question?...( I am a sufferer, the aftermath of narc abuse )...I am lucky?? ......I am a trained therapist?..(I have done the training...new I could not work in this field).....My life has been nothing other than fighting for my self worth!...Sorry, gone off track...My Question ...Do we really need to understand what kind of narcissist ..One is?...Is not abuse the real trauma?...(for the victim> and the abuser?).....your a gem Dr Ramani.x

My parent is elitist it's been a nightmare and they have so many connections they attempted to ruin my social life and career, it seems their goal is to take away any achievement of my own and I'm saying they because I got threats. It' really complicated to have a normal life when your parent is powerful, rich and kind of generous to others

You’ve been a God send! Why is it that these narcissists all share the same qualities such as lack of empathy. The amorous narcissist seems like the type of person to prey on people who are very generous. I see a lot of these people who are foreign because they need something from you. Most financially due to their working conditions. What I find mostly strange is that a lot of these narcissists are related to other narcissists who are all attractive. Almost all of my narcissistic friends are physically attractive I would say. Even the covert ones. Usually it’s the avoidant personality people in my life that I find are mostly pray for these types of narcissists. It’s almost demonic in nature how they can sniff certain people out while others look to them without a sense of manipulation. There are definitely two types of people in the world it seems.

So do you see a narcissist that acts one type to everyone else and then a different with their family?

Oh great. Once you think you are finally done, there is always more.

Dr. Romani says it exactly like it is. My late former spouse used to go around bragging he had an affair with the late houston and flew her out on the mallard while we were engaged, which btw was the premise of the body guard movie. So, sad she actually was there in Hawaii while we're on vacation as a family with her hubby and baby NC in tow. How sad because they're nowhere in the land of the living and what a wicked web houston webbed and ensnared many people. Praying for the survivors.

I was in love. He couldn't understand why it should upset me when he screwed someone else. Took me a looooong time to get nit. Thanks Dr R.

I would love for you to do a deep dive of these different sub-types, especially the continuum of behaviors and how they present within the subtype.

Honestly makes me think the subtypes have more to do with the narc having a second cluster B attached than being pure narc.

Different names for the same games.

The amorous one is my ex husband?..to a t..been gone from that scene for 40 some years…yay for me

My elitist Narc is my Aunt. Her Alcoholic, abusive husband was successful. He was an asshole, but he made a lot of money. She never worked but felt the right to judge a single mom who did.

makes me think of my boss 😎

Thank you for being an inspiration to me and others.

haha...the "normal narcissist..." to funny

Thank you Thank you Thank you so very much 😊! The ending of your video is wonderful and beautifully said because it’s so true because one person can definitely be mixed for sure…. I have definitely witnessed and seen it for myself and have been in relationships with a couple who were mixed(it will definitely confuse the hell out of you) My family system is definitely mixed and yet one type might shine more bright then other types and yet one can definitely be mixed. To everyone be careful be aware and listen to your instincts and pay attention to what your body might be telling you and if it seems like something is off it probably is 💜

Anyone from Chicagoland area. I feel like we need a support group, not to talk about it, just to be around similar ppl.

Doctor Ramani just described 8 billion people.❤😂

Psychiatrists diagnosed my dad with Capgras syndrome and labeled him a psychopath.

how this person makes you feel exclamation ‼️ my gauge had been off for so many years and I was played now understanding these individuals. I’m relying on how I feel after and actually while I’m with them, that’s my barometer these days.

Dr Ramani the title of your second book Don't you know I am seems like something like an elitist narcissist favorite catchphrase

Miss the couch narc. The ones who only seek a place to stay and wont leave your couch.

Is there a type of narcissist where the narcissistic rage just goes straight to tears or is never directed at you but behind your back through gossip/venting to mutual friends/loved ones? I've been watching your videos and others to understand what I experienced and concluded that my ex friend/roommate is a covert narcissist who 110% believed she is an empath. One thing I'm still trying to figure out that doesn't fit with the information I've gathered was my narc's cowardice. She never yelled at me, she would never put her hands on me, but she did play the victim hard and said she was living in fear of me. She made it so impossible to have a conversation with her that I often felt bad for bringing anything up once she started crying. And I felt confused for feeling unsafe even though I was in no physical danger and she was the one saying I was the mean and scary person. Do you or anyone have an idea what this was??

I find it helpful to recognize and not let it affect me.

My husband has a mix of them all

Unprincipled Amorous Elitist Compensatory Normal (base)

Not my monkey , not my circus...we were t raised this way ...stay humble, stay kind. People like that bother me.....they can break u

Dr Ramani is a hero ❤

Another good quality video.

This was so validating to hear

Omg, the unprincipled narcissist! I k know him so well. The absolute worst and the PTSD is real!! But he was also the amorous narcissist. Lots of sex with lots of women! Absolutely NO ability to truly be intimate with anyone. It's all about the conquest for him. He was a once described by someone else as "unable" to be faithful. I know this guy waaaaaay too well. And yes, it was the sex appeal that drew me in and kept me attached.

Marvellous dear respected Madam!🎉

WOW!!! Fascinating to know.

Yes, my narc was a mix. This was helpful.

Yup it's true

IME it all comes down to this . They are emotionally, mentally, and spiritually starved and then traumatized and stunted. Whatever age that trauma went down thats the age they are stuck. Temper tantrums fit throwing kids in adult bodies.

I know a PHd clinical psych who fell for one. He has her completely brainwashed, especially that she doesn't speak his native language. She is completely manipulated to think whatever he wishes her to think. Aleaniting from those who will tell her his truth.

"Deficient conscience; unscrupulous, amoral, disloyal, fradulent, deceptive, arrogant, exploitive; a con man and charlatan; dominating, contemptuous, vindictive." - that is such a perfect description of a malignant narc.

I'm not exactly sure how to ask this, so please excuse the word vomit: -- Am I a narcissist? If so, how did I get that way? -- I'm a survivor of narcissistic abuse from multiple sources. Most of my life, I've been considered an empathic person. I'm still a person who is quick to take care of others; I'm actually in the healthcare field (which is part of the reason I know what a pain it is to actually get in to see a mental healthcare provider here in the US - my first appointment is in a few months, at least). After watching a dozen or more of Dr. Ramani's immensely helpful videos, along with other sources (eg: DBT training), I've made a lot of progress in healing from my past. Then I started looking at my history with other people, and holding that up against some of the red flags our doctor described: upset about being judged, perfectionist, upset when things don't go as planned... I'm having a little trouble remembering them off the top of my head, but I will answer honestly if yall ask. Maybe I'm a covert/vulnerable/compensatory narcissist. Maybe I'm high-functioning autistic. Maybe I'm so screwed up by past trauma that... I've become that which I despise. I don't know, and I'd be happy for any help you lovely people can offer. I'd like to make clear: I really don't want the "no, it's fine, you're a good person". I'm fighting with myself on who I really am, and need unbiased outside perspective(s). ------- "It's Not You"... but what if it is?

All of these overlap though