5 Ways Narcissistic Parents Condition You to Be Codependent
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5 Ways Narcissistic Parents Condition You To Be Codependent:
In todays video I want to talk about how narcissistic parents create codependency in their children. I want to talk about this not so much to just point the finger or blame shift - the truth is I want to talk about this because if we don't understand why we may be behaving in certain ways and why we keep repeating certain patterns, then we can't grow and change them. So first this information is important because it will help you to understand why you may be engaging in certain behaviors - until we see it in our conscious mind we can't grow and we can't change. The next step is to learn what you can do about it, how you can break out of these patterns and overcome these codependent traits.
#narcissisticparents #narcissists #codependentnomore #narcissisticmother #narcissisticfather
narcissists and codependents, codependent children, adult children of narcissists, unhealthy mother daughter relationship, covert narcissist parent, controlling parent, parents with no boundaries
@cindy7733 11 ай бұрын
"boundaries are viewed as disrespectful" OMG! This is absolutely TRUE!!!!!
@stellasole3720 2 жыл бұрын
It wasn't just lack of validation, I wasn't "allowed" to think/feel for myself if it was different & then you'd be "corrected" or attacked
@marynorth235 2 жыл бұрын
I had hit rock bottom, and I thought that the problem was with me, that I was a flawed person. I was shocked and in disbelief when I found out it was actually my parents that had instilled the "loser" into me. I'm starting to heal now
@mistydreamz 2 жыл бұрын
Is anyone so used to feeling worthless after a lifetime of parents telling your that you're crap that if someone else gives you a genuine compliment, it feels uncomfortable? Like fr, I get so miserable when I do well or get a lot of praise, I just want to knock myself down. It's terrible to feel depressed when someone appreciates you.
@jacksonscully2537 2 жыл бұрын
It sounds to me like the compliments etc. are triggering the memory of the opposite and that's what is making you feel bad. You basically don't believe the compliment is real. Sorry to hear of your struggles. I can share a few things with you if you would like to email me.
@jaklumen 2 жыл бұрын
Yes. I can very much relate to this. I've been married for almost 23 years now, and my poor empath wife is still struggling to encourage me, teach me to honestly take a compliment. I also struggle with self-sabotage. When I was still employed (I'm on full disability), a manager told me I was my own worst enemy. Do you also struggle with the fear of things going well- that bad times are soon to come? That's where the self-sabotage comes in for me. The programming from narc abuse says "Don't get too big for your britches, you're not that special" and I will sabotage myself so things go wrong and I have a sense of control over when the crash comes. Thanks, Misty.. I see you, I hear you, I'm walking with you. We deserve better.
@handoverfist5013 2 жыл бұрын
There is a bright side to everything. It's suppose to feel impossible and hard to reach or understand. *Know This* you make a difference for being brave to share your thoughts. Your saving lives.
@goldieh7121 2 жыл бұрын
I get it. As a child I was so used to my dad criticizing me, when he actually complimented my singing I cried. With me, I think it can be a reaction to a lot of things. It could spur jealousy in others, it could make you feel like an imposter (you're just fooling them), or it could feel like love bombing and you don't trust that they won't eventually devalue you. Also, if someone gives me a compliment, I feel obligated to that person. Sometimes people give compliments to elicit compliments from you. All that said, when we can begin to accept our accomplishments as real and deserving and don't need compliments to validate us, it may be easier to accept real ones and see through the BS☺️
@izawaniek2568 2 жыл бұрын
Without boundaries we can never be our authentic self.
@Chris-0113 2 жыл бұрын
So that's how it happened! Imo, codependancy is just as damaging to one's life as being narcissistic is. It effects every aspect of my life, personally and professionally. It creates so much self doubt that I question every decision I make.
@jaklumen 2 жыл бұрын
Well, you've noted that narcissists often seek out codependents, yes? I see it as the flip side, or, as I was taught in some of my 12-Step work- codependency is one side of the toxic dance, with narcissism &/or addiction being the other. In myself, I see "narcissistic fleas" (I adopted some narc behaviors) and codependency wrestling with each other. So then I question not only every decision *I* make, but I often question every decision my loved ones make. Does that resonate with you? Thank you for inviting me to think about this a little more, Chris.
@reneewachter1925 2 жыл бұрын
Codependency is as wrong as narcissist. Work on your motivation and work on to change them. Bcz you will damage others as much as narcissist does.
@reneewachter1925 2 жыл бұрын
Exactly, we need two to dance. Codependent is also narcissistic in thinking someone will love them according ti their performance.
@Chris-0113 2 жыл бұрын
@@jaklumen Absolutley! 100% correct on all accounts. Especially the "narcissistic fleas" reference. I, too adopted some of the narcissists behaviors. So much in fact, at one time I questioned if I was the narcissist. And yes, I've always attracted narcissistic women.
@ladennayoung2939 2 жыл бұрын
It is a fact that it is damaging. Not just an opinion. Yes I can seek help and become better. You don't have to stay that way. It's a blessing to learn about it. So, you can understand what was going on in your life.
@iamfree9212 2 жыл бұрын
That's so true! I was always shamed and ridiculed if I wanted to do anything that they saw as "useless". Funny you should mention piano lessons because they never allowed me to play. They would ask me - who do you think you are - Bach? 🙄 And no, I was never allowed to have a boundary. When I got the courage to say that I would appreciate if they call before coming over, I was called rude, selfish and pushing people away, no wonder that "nobody" likes me 🙈
@nicoleb9657 2 жыл бұрын
Wow! I can really relate to your piano story. I could play by ear from the age of five. The piano teacher from my grade school offered my mother free piano lessons, which my mother declined, saying that we couldn't afford a piano for our home. Later on, I learned that our family had been offered a piano for free. My mother told the relative we didn't have room for a piano. I am 50 years old and to this day I mourn the fact that I cannot play. You are not alone, my stranger friend. ❤️
@eph2vv89only1way 2 жыл бұрын
@@nicoleb9657 Why not take lessons now as a celebration of your freedom? It’s never too late
@suesteig3025 2 жыл бұрын
I wanted to play the violin. The music teacher told my mom and that I could use one of the school's. I was so excited. My parents, my sisters and I went to check out the music program at another school. My parents I thought were on board. Well I got a big no and their reason was too much money but my teacher was letting me use one of her's. I was so disappointed.
@goldieh7121 2 жыл бұрын
You described their response to boundaries so well, calling us rude, selfish and pushing people away. The final blow, "no wonder nobody likes you", they know gets to our core wound. I had a friend do this to me after I finally set a boundary with her. I finally saw through that type of manipulation and walked away from the friendship.
@eph2vv89only1way 2 жыл бұрын
@@goldieh7121 Glad you recognized it and escaped.
@drlarrymitchell 2 жыл бұрын
My father came back from the Korean War with his brains so scrambled, he thought he was Jesus! They put him in a nuthouse for five years, when he came out, he didn't think he was Jesus no more, he thought he was God. Which made me Jesus.
@eph2vv89only1way 2 жыл бұрын
So sad!
@muslimwarrior9891 2 жыл бұрын
Ok basically I Muslim so I don’t share the same beliefs but I respect u lol , I’m just wondering how did he came thinking like that from war ? :/// like how weird lol
@eph2vv89only1way 2 жыл бұрын
@@muslimwarrior9891 This is a psychosis. The trauma of war causes psychoses in many people.
@user-ui9dk4vr9b 2 жыл бұрын
@@eph2vv89only1way Wow, So sad 💔
@eph2vv89only1way 2 жыл бұрын
@@user-ui9dk4vr9b ikr
@goldieh7121 2 жыл бұрын
You so nailed it Michele! Also, so many double binds. With two narcissistic parents, when I would finally make one happy, the other would get jealous and take it out on me. Then, the one I was getting along with would side with the other parent.
@suzesinger6762 2 жыл бұрын
Yeah, had the same effect on my Husband. it is because - they don't like eachother - and they are too selfish to work together for the sake of the child. Better to start distancing your dependence on them. xx
@inhale.exhale.2527 2 жыл бұрын
triangulation. one of the tools a narc uses to control others. 🙏
@davart311 2 жыл бұрын
Our codip father was as violent and abusive as the narc mother. We even had to study classical piano against our will just because it was his passion.
@jaklumen 2 жыл бұрын
Yeah, I have faced similar circumstances. My own enabler/codependent father assaulted my wife TWICE.. once in our own home. The other time, narc mom was involved, and my eldest child has NEVER forgotten that incident. They aren't allowed to set foot inside anymore. For a time, Mom was even banned from the premises- she fussed over our rose bushes so much my wife threatened to rip them all out. I didn't want that, so, Mom was banned.
@peterknyk1942 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you Michele! My marital partner acquired narcissistic traits from her narcissist father! (LEARNED BEHAVIOR???) this video helps me to understand more about that dynamic. Her actions destroyed a marriage and a family and a family business and a home! And she is still miserable!
@davidhinkson8856 2 жыл бұрын
Yes unfortunately it can be passed down to subsequent generations.
@jaklumen 2 жыл бұрын
@@davidhinkson8856 Yup. I was tag-teamed by a mother-daughter combo- my maternal grandmother and my mother. They fought over how I was to be raised. I did some digging, and it's ALL over my family of origin: various combinations of codependent enablers and selfish narcissists. One devastating event was one of my aunts discarding through divorce, after 40+ years of marriage. Years of dirty secrets suddenly came busting out, and my wife and I got the first hints as she called us to drop her mask, hard.
@elizabethd.2398 2 жыл бұрын
Always remember that Shame and Guilt = SG. The scapegoat must break away from their assigned role and go No Contact. It’s the only way to freedom.
@Aplethoraofconvos 9 ай бұрын
I remember I wasn't reallly allowed to pick out my own clothes from the store. It always had to be what my mom wanted me to wear. She even would get really mean and angry if I didn't pose in a picture like she wanted. She literally wanted me to her mini me. I am 38 years old and I am happy to say I am nothing like my mother and I am my own person.
@BBFCCO733 2 жыл бұрын
I was the scapegoat and the good-for nothing, like my mother. I had it the worst of everyone because I never did what my father wanted if I felt it was wrong. I didn't understand that I had to play a game to create peace. He really punished me for this...still today. He said things like, I made you, I'll kill you, I love you but don't like you you name it he said it. My sister was the golden child, and I used to always think her life was so good, until I realized how crazy and violent and control freak she is. Today my brother is now the golden child and can do no wrong. He is perfect to my mother and not as good as my father apparently because he is not a total psychopath, but I see in his character he has controlling features and a kind of unfeeling indifference towards me. I feel like they all look down on me because I am not as "smart" as them. (I have feelings) When I showed my real authenticity, it was met with indifference, disgust and ridicule and violence. I was trash because I liked beauty I wanted to be a free and independent woman. Boy was I beaten and abandoned by my family for that one. I ended up married and became co-dependent, not yet achieving my dreams because I have cptsd and need long-term therapy as well as getting no support from my family to help raise my son and help me work full-time. But my sister get's the help because she hogs all of my mother's time an guilts my mother and she is too tired to babysit my child even tough she doesn't say it and I feel bad adding my son to her and still I am somehow the bad person because I finally had enough of this and went n/c. I abandoned them because I am getting sick and mental because of their insanity. Can you imagine? I feel like screaming but then I will be labelled psycho, so I just don't care anymore. It's really sad how they make you become like this.
@jaklumen 2 жыл бұрын
I can relate. Granted, my mother is my main narcissist, and I played two different roles. My mother is a de facto only child as her little brother died of Rh disease before the age of 2. My narcissistic grandmother saw me as a do-over son, and I became her golden child. Mom raged at the notion that I would "steal" the affection meant for her, and made me a scapegoat in retaliation. She projected the jealousy she felt towards her little brother on me, regarding my younger sis #1, who became the family black sheep. The youngest of my 3 younger sisters- Baby Sis- became the family golden child. Yet she is the only sister I remain on friendly and open speaking terms with; we're still good friends. My dear empath wife does not care for any of my sisters, but, to be fair, they have all treated her pretty shabbily. So yes, I can imagine. And hey, I have "autistic tendencies"- my parents used to call me "Little Professor"- Asperger's own stereotype for the portion of ASD that bears his name. Yes, I like the company of intelligent people, but, not at the cost of empathy. I have a few friends that claim they aren't smart, but, they are kind and giving, and I'll take that any day. Shame on your family of origin for having such a terrible blind spot on that, and for throwing away any semblance of empathy.
@BBFCCO733 2 жыл бұрын
@@jaklumen Thank you I appreciate the validation. I suspect that my father has issues about women independence and intelligence. He always felt threatened by my dream of independence being Canadian and having that opportunity. He did and still does every thing in his power to sabotage this if I give one inch of myself to him, mostly by put downs, boundary breaking, completely overtaking my life and manipulating the family to go against me and abandon my efforts at gaining any support from them. I don't understand how it is his business to completely destroy his daughter's future because she wants to do what every other healthy human being wants to do, which is rely on herself financially and be an adult and enjoy her life. If a man feels a woman is a threat to his manliness and power, he really should be asking himself what gives him the right to be entitled over other people, especially women? How is that anyone's right? This has been my hell and I really feel for any woman who has been through this. I don't know what your situation is, but I can imagine only that a mother controlling her son is equally degrading. There's being concerned for someone, then there's completely using them for their own selfish purposes. You really do have to have strong boundaries to protect yourself from these people and the sad part is that in my case, my family was worse than any stranger I had encountered. I always thought family was supposed to protect you.
@Lyrielonwind 2 жыл бұрын
@@BBFCCO733 In my case, is my mother who doesn't want me to be independent, therefore, all my monkeys siblings fear the same. It feels like living a toxic family is leaving a cult; they won't forget because they see your liberation as betrayal.
@andelalexander5305 2 жыл бұрын
Deconstructing the self image- I look foward to that.Thankyou for this break down of HOW they invalidate the child's/ person's sense of self.
@veruc_w 2 жыл бұрын
My sense of Self is so damaged that I can't go to the grocery store without GPS navigation. Kidding but... not far from truth: I love car navigation so much that I use it all the time and it gives me a great feeling that I exist on this planet.
@deannahudson6873 2 жыл бұрын
I always had to re clean the bathroom after my mom's inspection if their was one spec missed she would find something wrong...never my sister...
@90s-Trance_86 2 жыл бұрын
Love your way of presentation and your message. like a Pro :-) you're very wise
@brianf9615 2 жыл бұрын
That was me but not anymore. Today I have a different problem because I now have the Berlin wall built around myself and it really freaks people out.
@strawberryhappiness1468 2 жыл бұрын
Mrs. Michele, a lot of these resonate with Me. I want to heal and I was wondering do you do one on one coaching or group coaching or both? I feel like I can't be myself and I feel drained all the time. One of the things I have been experiencing for the longest that you were talking about is not being able to bring yourself to a place of doing the things that you love to do and that make you happy. One of the things and main hobbies or passions I use to love and can't seem to barely bring myself to do now is coloring. I loved coloring and I could color for hours and now I feel as though I can't. I loved coloring in these adult coloring books as a child and really coloring in general. Coloring was one of my favorite and probably number one hobbies. I loved arts and crafts and now I cannot seem to bring myself to that place in my life anymore. Narcissistic abuse changes you. I just want to say thank you Mrs. Michele for these videos. They turn on the light as to why I keep repeating certain patterns. Do you do one on one coachings?
@jaklumen 2 жыл бұрын
Have a look at the video description for Michele's current program, which I believe is group coaching. I'm sorry you don't feel like you can do coloring anymore. My wife Huffle Mama and kids are all artists- I am, too, but I really like the studio task of inking and coloring best and I am thrilled when Huffle and eldest child give me sketches to finish for them. When the Mrs. and I were part of another community, our KZfaqr hosts tasked Huffle with accepting submissions for an adult coloring book that was going to be a fundraiser for a conference. It fell through but I'm sure she's still got the submissions somewhere. If we ever find them and can track down the people that submitted art, I would like to see if we can still publish it.
@strawberryhappiness1468 2 жыл бұрын
@@jaklumen awwwwww, that is so sweet. That's good you and your family like to color and like art too. I hope you get your coloring book published. Keep up the good work and God bless you. Thank you.
@Chris-0113 2 жыл бұрын
Michele, you are absolutely stunning! Great video, as always.
@noracharles9366 2 жыл бұрын
Stunning ❤
@inhale.exhale.2527 2 жыл бұрын
seconded. ddg. drop dead gorgeous. 😍
@niaselah3348 2 жыл бұрын
I think validation is needed and deserved in adult relationships. We are social beings and our actions have consequences in us and in others. There is a huge difference between a child and an adult in the capacity to respond to lack of validation for sure but every individual has the right to be seen and heard. The other person doesn't have to approve but don't have the right to invalidate you
@koh9894 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you... Once again, glad to have outside validation that SOMEthing was wrong... and it wasn't just me
@fiftyshadesofgrey1991 2 жыл бұрын
Golden children used to turn the same narcissistic shit like that parent. At least for my 40 years experience it was always that I observed
@kathywedzik4905 2 жыл бұрын
Groomed Personal criminal put on a pedestal protected and "can do no wrong and can't do a dam thing right "
@clarasimonis2994 2 жыл бұрын
Its so nice to see you evolve Ive been dabbling in your videos since my awakening to covert narcissist in Jan 2020 You seem to become healthier and lighter and more secure with yourself every video 👏👍✨💚its nice to witness healing in action and i see this with other authentic survivors whos calling is to educate on this topic as well👍👍
@pattymiles2688 2 жыл бұрын
Love your channel!!!
@ankurdave7784 5 ай бұрын
Even my going for routine exercise was “out of alignment” with my narcissistic parents. I wasn’t even allowed to go for a run or hop on a machine. It’s pathetic how over controlling narcissistic parents are.
@xiaoxi-chelsea-akiko434 2 жыл бұрын
Feeling this co-dependent for a long time or more like Enmeshed… my mom and I coexist together! She often said if i want to take care yourself and treat myself well, I will need do spend more time with her and listen to her because she knows what is best for me! She even says if I want to be independent, I need to do certain thing she tells me to do! What!? What is the point of self-care and independence when they are decided by her?
@kheleecebrown1799 10 ай бұрын
Exactly then they get angry.
@bradmcewen 2 жыл бұрын
I watch some info on attachment theory which made a lot of sense. Quite natural for a child, even an adult to want a safe zone. I understand our conditioning comes from childhood. But other factors accentuat complications to adults as well. Loss of family members. Loss of the ability to rebound from covid social separation. Actually being ok introverted. Emotional vulnerability from same. I know this is where the life long narcissistic person strikes. Even if their in the same circumstance. Some hurt people..hurt people. Most do not. Its appalling and not in your nature regardless of circumstance. Getting caught by a narc can directly depend on how much you still depend on or want some attachment. Sometimes nothing is better.
@pattymiles2688 2 жыл бұрын
Love ur channel
@georgelewis6413 2 жыл бұрын
We Love your Channel!!!
@heatherfeather9951 2 жыл бұрын
"I have to make others feel good about themselves in order to be loved and accepted." Once you catch yourself in this behavior it's easy to feel so cringey when you realize what a people pleaser you were brainwashed to be. It's hard to look back at all of the needless flattery and attention that you gave to so many people who didn't deserve it.
@muslimwarrior9891 2 жыл бұрын
Thank u so much my dawg
@lynnbilbrey8823 2 жыл бұрын
You make the most insightful videos ever. They are so far away from basic. You make the best connections ever.
@xse-qb2vv 2 жыл бұрын
This video needs waaay more views. Keep doing what you do M, we all need to understand these dynamics. You are a truly beautiful person. 🎄☃️😉
@choosetruthalways7995 2 жыл бұрын
Again 100% accurate in all you say. Thank you 🌹❤🙏
@gomolemokau3562 2 жыл бұрын
Oh my gosh this absolutely makes sense 🙆🏽♀️
@astrialindah2773 2 жыл бұрын
You literally look more beautiful without much makeup Michelle! More importantly you are beautiful on the inside and such a blessing!
@slimshany4602 Жыл бұрын
Excellent 👍⚘
@noracharles9366 2 жыл бұрын
Savage fan ❤ Great topic! ...Girl, you look lovely ⭐
@ahskincare3150 2 жыл бұрын
I think both my parents where narcissistic
@Lyrielonwind 2 жыл бұрын
I don't know if both of my parents were narcissists or just my mother who used my codependent father for.more punishment and control. Sometimes, I wonder if he found out before dying. He said, he was sure nobody will leave my mother, and being narcissists so paranoid it seems weird he said that, unless he realized she had everyone under her control. I never thought I would leave my mother but she pulled so strong she broke the chain. I think my father had narc traits but he cared about his children and had principles while my mother is so covert and so narcissist that probably believes she would go to Heaven.
@TOLupe-ty6jb 2 жыл бұрын
I have let my narc parents make me feel like a nobody for far too long 😭😭😭
@noofalmaadeed4823 2 жыл бұрын
Michele you look so good ☺️
@phoenixrising1305 2 жыл бұрын
Excellent! SO spot-on 🎯 Also, love your earring(s)....but, did u lose the other one?! 😳
@MaestroMaxim 2 жыл бұрын
Wow!
@VidWatcher01 2 жыл бұрын
My mom does this till this very day yet yells at me for not having my own place🙄
@jaklumen 2 жыл бұрын
Hi Michele. Is there any way that you might offer a lower tier of membership? My wife and I are on a disability fixed income, so we really struggle with scraping funds together for resources- and we live in a remote, rural area where mental health resources are especially limited. If not, I'll continue to follow your videos as best I can. We moderate for some other narc abuse channels, so we do have a few resources available to us, but again, we're only able to delve in on a limited basis. Thanks for your consideration and attention.
@theforensicbadass 2 жыл бұрын
I would ask the same. I spend over $100 a month just on co-pay to my talk counselor. I spend $19 every 2 weeks with my psychiatrist bc of the PE-CPTSD n complicated disenfranchised grief. And I live on disability salary from surviving three near-death experiences escaping a covert Machiavellian narcissist. I spent a fortune on Physicians and gaining my health back. Fighting a drawn out court battle that should have taken a few weeks. I lost everything. I have purchased many master classes throughout the last year. I can't afford another $80 a month. With rent and the bills was left with at the narcissist ran off with my entire house assets cars dreams identity personality and my resources in my community are polluted because he's got piller family inserted everywhere. I asked there's some kind of sliding fee scale maybe. I don't know Michelle, perhaps you can consider this for many of us that are rebuilding our entire life.
@jaklumen 2 жыл бұрын
@@theforensicbadass Hey, good to see you. You might remember me as one of Angie's moderators. I would be okay with a lower tier where access is more limited, but gives just a little bit more than what is shared openly on the channels. My upper limit has been $60, basically, doing certain group coaching at that discount rate, where it would normally be $100. So yeah, I don't want to take away from what Michele is doing- just asking if she might offer something in between. I would be okay if she did something along the lines of channel membership.
@theforensicbadass 2 жыл бұрын
@@jaklumen Hey There Brother. Good to see you! I honestly don't remember you, but we're all kind of in the same family, aren't we? We're in the sort of special Club where only one another understands this type of trauma and abuse. I'm really looking for Community I believe at this point. Community more in a zoom typesetting, where we can make friends that are safe. Rather than commenting on KZfaq videos, it would be lovely to just have group sessions online. I don't know the technical side of building platforms like that. I've tried in the past, but yet to figure it out. I've used my channel as a very cathartic way for me to express my very volatile emotions from 2019 into 2020. I'm now starting to regulate out thank goodness in 2021. But I think one of the most important things, is to find the soul family who understands this type of abuse and to share safe friendships with. I know we can't do that in the beginning of our recovery, but we certainly deserve to have Sol family support. Sending you all the best to you and your wife. And are you referring to Angie Atkinson by the way? I love that girl. She is so badass.
@jaklumen 2 жыл бұрын
@@theforensicbadass Yes. I am a moderator for Angie Atkinson's channel, for Dana Morningstar (Thrive After Abuse), and for Lise Colucci, Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support. Yes, I have a long memory and I remember you from Angie Atkinson's channel. And yes, I do see people I meet in Angie's channel on other narc abuse recovery channels as well.. sometimes I catch community members ELSEWHERE on KZfaq. Oh by the way- I tried building a community on Discord for Angie and Dana's communities. It uh, it hasn't gone so well. Maybe because there's not enough face-to-face like Zoom is.
@theforensicbadass 2 жыл бұрын
@@jaklumen lovely to meet you and wow...how impressive you've done so much to help so many. Honored to connect w you!! ❤👑❤
@kat9587 Жыл бұрын
100%
@Kathleensophiacitrine888 2 жыл бұрын
🙏🙏🙏
@Kcberettam9ner 2 жыл бұрын
Easier said than done (changing your programming). Especially when you,re well over the personality formation age 21. Whatever you do it doesn,t work. Wrong answer wrong. And people can sense the lack of ego. Being ridiculed is a daily occurence. Society itself is hypocritical aqnd superficial so why should we break our selves and our principles to fit in.
@laurenbatson5918 2 жыл бұрын
Because life isn't all about being a part of society. And you don't have to be a hypocrite or break your principles to function and be a part of society anyway. You might find some useful things from listening to (or reading) Jordan Peterson. The fate of society actually depends on YOU and everyone else NOT being a hypocrite and NOT breaking your principles. Peterson talks a lot about the atrocities of the 20th century being a result of individuals breaking their principles. (It's from Solzhenitsyn.). My husband likely suffers from CPTSD, and a lot of that mirrors narcissism. I think his dad was a covert narcissist, and I'm not positive on the CPTSD, so I still watch a lot of videos on the topic. Anyway, there is a channel called Crappy Childhood Fairy that I found. She talks about what worked for her to heal, and how it is NOT what traditional counselors/coaches teach. Maybe you could find something from her that helps you? I hope you find something somewhere. Life is suffering, but it isn't HELL. HELL is when everyone in society is a hypocrite and breaks their principles. You are an individual. There are many individuals that are not hypocrites and do not break their principles, you just have to be on the lookout for them. They are the people that can feel peace and find joy in the face of the suffering. You can change your programming. Realizing that is an option, and that you need it, is the hardest part. You've already done that part. Now you just have to find what works for you, and TRY it. And KEEP trying. You can do it. I believe you can. (As much as that counts, seeing that I am a stranger on the internet!🤣)
@laurenbatson5918 2 жыл бұрын
Any why not try? What else do you have to do? (That is something Peterson says about putting yourself together. It always makes me smile.)
@jaklumen 2 жыл бұрын
Yes.. it frustrates my dear fellow empath wife to NO end.. I've got crazy narcissistic fleas. She's even taken to mocking me sometimes: "it's your programmingggg".
@jaklumen 2 жыл бұрын
@@laurenbatson5918 Anyone that gets to know me reasonably well- in person or only virtually online says I march firmly to the beat of my own drum. My parents called me "Little Professor" for years and were convinced I was on the Asperger's side of the autism spectrum. Today, I argue with my father as he chides me for "talking in circles". He is old and very slowly dying, but I sure wish he'd stop that, even if his deteriorating mind has trouble following my tendency to slide over to dozens of tangents.
@jessicamscott90 5 ай бұрын
8:38
@mariamkinen8036 2 жыл бұрын
I am not too! I was under the eye of my professional network of rehab n school! BS. BS n gas lighting.
@LSMH528Hz 2 жыл бұрын
And after your dependent it's either comply with the mental slavery or be discarded.
@ahskincare3150 2 жыл бұрын
I think a lot of parents are narcissistic
@selmaselma7227 2 жыл бұрын
I wish someone had stopped this in childhood or especially in teenage years
@mariacliment2767 2 жыл бұрын
Where is the link to do the work to erase the codependency virus from our subconcious??
@greyman1104 Жыл бұрын
This is driving me mad. Am I turning into Norman Bates?
@drlarrymitchell 2 жыл бұрын
When gas-lighting tastes like home cooking...
@heatherann4390 2 жыл бұрын
Omg save my 13 yr old daughter from her father
@tutsybassista 2 жыл бұрын
And my 11 and 14 year old too! 🙏
@thijshamersma Жыл бұрын
I know this is insanely hard, but If you don't stand up for them enough, you are just as guilty for any damage done to them. Please protect them as much as you can!
@abbeycrouse3020 Жыл бұрын
You just spent 2 mins covering your ass by “understanding the narc”. Anyone watching this already feel bad about the narc
@Rose-oq2hn 2 жыл бұрын
Coaches are not accredited. They’re not licensed professionals.
@elonmust8859 2 жыл бұрын
I never knew one needed to be licensed professionals, qualified and have a phd to know what they are talking about. I must be so stupid wtf. lol
@Rose-oq2hn 2 жыл бұрын
@@elonmust8859 you must be a coach 😊
@Lyrielonwind 2 жыл бұрын
Jealousy?
@fredseiss5287 2 жыл бұрын
I have watched many videos and read many books on cptsd. Michele is one of the best!
@filizhunters4452 2 жыл бұрын
Too much talking
@rural_girl555 10 ай бұрын
talking with narcissistic parents is like using a freezing phone with a crakced screen
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