To better understand how to stop before you lose control, let’s look at the cycle of anger. First you have a triggering event. This would be something like feeling disrespected or used or having someone cut you off in traffic. This is followed by negative thoughts. These are automatic thoughts that pop into your mind right after the triggering event. Then you have an emotional response to your thought, even if your thought isn’t rational. The next step in the cycle is is physical symptoms. Like a racing heart, or sweaty palms or even tense muscles and jaw clenching. Then you have the behavioral response of yelling, cursing and arguing or maybe even crying.
So with this cycle, you have things going on in your head that lead to behaviors. There’s different places in this cycle you can change to address anger. This video is focused on the behavioral response.
Technique 1 - Practice taking 3 deep breaths before you respond. This gives you the chance to resist lashing out automatically.
Technique 2 - Develop canned responses to controversial topics.
Technique 3 - Develop statements that de-escalate the situation before you get too angry.
Technique 4 - Stop and observe your anger. Examine it as if you’re another person in the room looking at you.
Technique 5 - Use diversions.
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