Okay, truth time - which one are you doing most?

1. Assuming other people are judging you ; solution - assume people like you 2. Waiting to be Happy - Thinking you'll only be happy "if x" - solution - allow yourself to be happy now! 3. Expecting people to change, or help you (without asking) - solution - ask, and if they don't change, change your expectations. 4. Stopping/Giving when life gets hard - solution - make the most of your life despite 5. You're the Expert and Boss Of You -- no one else is as invested. *I changed the language because I thought it was kind of triggering.*

No one is coming. No Prince Charming. And, I am not Cinderella. I grew up with the ridiculous idea and expectation that a man would make me happy and keep me safe. But that isn't reality. Because if a man can do that, he can also make you miserable and unsafe. It is entirely up to me to choose the paths that are safe and loving. I am my own Prince Charming!

“No one is coming to save you” has become the best advice I’ve heard in ages.

"Happiness is not a destination. It is a decision." I LIVE FOR THIS ❤

I have never listened to another therapist that made as much sense as you. I have watched and absorbed many of your videos. Your logic is healing! Thanks for all of that.

"Flinging mud from the cheap seats" is an excellent way to describe gossips and all round trouble makers. Loved that.

“No one is coming to do it for you, to fix you, to save you.” This is so true and one I spent years denying despite being told something similar many years ago. Once you realize this you can own your power and make things happen for yourself. It isn’t easy but it feels so much better than waiting for others (who, as you say in the video, aren’t nearly as invested in your life as you are) to do it for you. The best freedom is to take responsibility for your self, your feelings, your actions, the direction your life is going. Lead yourself. Look deeply, look and see - don’t mind read. In a very real sense, I think we can say someone is coming and that someone is you (i.e. yourself, I, me). That is what has been missing - self-love, self-care, self-direction. I’ve been looking outside, scared to death of what someone might be thinking, knocked out of the seat of my own consciousness, waiting to be restored to my place within myself. It’s up to me. Yes. Such a great video. These are the best ones I’ve seen on KZfaq and they have been very helpful to me. Thank you, Julia.

In response to 12:22. Life doesn't get easier, you just get stronger.

Must work on mind reading. Ruined a lot of good relationships this way.

"Happiness is not a destination, it's a Decision " best advise I've ever recieved.

Happiness (as opposed to peacefulness and contentedness) is a fleeting thing at the best of times and I think people tend to chase it too hard. I find the best way to deal with those ups and downs is to focus on living in the present and commit yourself to practicing it. Gratitude for what most people consider the basic things in life ie/ a roof over your head, a warm place to sleep, food to eat, love and just the fact that you're still alive is really what counts imo....so I remind myself of that every time I start questioning my 'happiness'. Rather than tossing a ball over my shoulder for my dog while I'm sitting in front of the computer, I take time to engage with him, to really see his excitement and playfulness, far away from screens... and as a result, we both walk away so much happier and appreciative. I take time to have face to face conversations with friends at least once a week. Some people might look at my quiet lifestyle here in the Gulf Islands as "oh my, that poor girl, she's all alone...she's 'stuck' in life", but really, it's the opposite. By removing myself from all the mental clutter of my previous, rushed city life, I forced myself to get acquainted with myself, to start asking myself hard, uncomfortable questions...left with no recourse other than to answer those questions honestly. Now those problems are gone, dealt with. What I discovered after doing this, (aside from those basic fundamentals I mentioned earlier), was that everything else in life is just 'unnecessary extras'....just fluff. Thanks for the piece on 'mind reading', I needed that. I've had a couple confusing experiences with neighbours playing games with me (after not getting something from me that they wanted mind you as I'm steadfast on my boundaries these days) that had me working out their motives in my mind. Stupid really, as I can't possibly know for sure what's going on in their mind....and most importantly, as you said, "It. Is. None. Of. My. Business". lol As always, thank you so much for all your life changing insight....it really helps me through my day to day journey :)

Thank you for your wisdom. "Nobody is coming", strangely made me feel I had permission to move forward without having to wait.

I learned that late in life, that no one is coming... but wow!!! Yesssss it is so liberating!

Brought some tears so it triggered something. I think I spent years waiting for someone to come and rescue me from life and make everything better. I finally realized I have to do that for myself. Spent a lot of wasted years😩 I do sometimes think others are thinking bad things about me or they don’t like me if I don’t hear from them for a while. I tend to jump to the worst conclusion which I know is ridiculous lol! Thanks for another great video. You’re wise beyond your years.❤️

No one is coming to do it for you. Liberating Liberating. Never thought of it that way. Thanks for all your knowledge and help

No one is coming is definitely hard to accept

“There is no rescue boat coming, keep threading water, ride the wave to the shore, and save yourself.” I got off my ass and started to heal when I wrote this to myself. Blessings to all on their personal journey.

“No one is coming”....(sound of crickets)hmmm well I better just get on with taking care of myself! 😂. Nothing like a good ol slap of reality! Thank you soooo much! Love your channel!👏💕

Thank you you are phenomenal that was like a year of therapy saved

Oh yes, happiness is a decision, not a destination. So good!

"No one is coming!!" What perfect words to hear. I am 100% alone in this world now. It's gonna be a challenge I can already tell but I accept.

No one is coming is the best thing I have heard. Wow wow wow. Game changer !!! We got this !!! Love life and succeed!!!!

Valiable message! I actually have come to that conclusion. No one is necessary to keep me afloat...only God I walk with Him. My comfort always lies in praying and reading the Bible.

All of these. But the two biggest were the expectations we put on others, and NO One is coming. So good. Thank you, Julia. Eye opener for me.

very clear and beautifully delivered............

I LOVE that being HAPPY IS NOT A DESTINATION- IT IS A DECISION!!!

“Happiness is not a destination. It is a decision.” That was a good one! Thank you.

Changing from assuming others have negative thoughts/feelings about me, to assuming they have positive feelings....so powerful!! That will definitely give myself and many others such confidence!! I see so much good in others, so I'm sure they must of me as well :) thank you!!

Mind reading and assuming that people are thinking negative things about me...it never comes to my mind that someone might be thinking something positive about me. Thank you for this! Your channel is really helpful and your videos are often exactly what I needed to hear :) Keep doing what you're doing. 💗👍

I love the idea of happiness being a decision and not a destination. I really needed that today. Thanks!

"Flinging mud from the cheap seats" - as a person who thinks heavily in metaphors, I am totally adding that to my mental self-talk library, and not allowing the behavior it describes to infect my outlook. Thank you for that, Julia! And thank you from all of us whose lives you are touching with your spot-on, thoughtful, and caring guidance. Love your heart!

love this -- thank you, Julia!

No one is coming....is a bummer, but so true. Thanks for the much needed reminder.

WAUW, you nailed it again. To the point, I love it!!!!!!!!! It sets you free😃 You are responsible for your own life. So you better make something beautiful of it. I'm 65years old, so I don't let anybody spoil a second of my time. And anybody means also myself. In the past I let people run over my. I don't let them do that anymore. I'm not a people pleaser anymore. I noticed that I've gain more respect. Life is treating me well these days. Thank you for being a part of that😍

You are so passionate and inspiring!

Thank you for this, Julia!

I am soaking this in - excellent talk - thank you, Julia.

Love it. Thank you Julia!

Thank you. I needed to hear that.

Nobody is coming to the rescue. It is liberating and inspiring. Thank you.

Thank you so much dr. Julia kristina 🥰

I so love this, powerful stuff. Thanks Julia!!

I needed to hear this thank you!

You have really made me think about so much! Thank you!

Fantastic ! Wonderful, life-changing, wisdom here; thank you as always, Julia!

Hi Julia! Thank you!! Amazingly insightful

Liberating!!! Your spirit is amazing!!!

So powerful. Thank you 🦄

Much love and thanks to you. This resonated so much with me. It's incredible you are creating content like this for free. Please keep doing so. Bless you.

You are delightful to listen to. Thank you.

I just watched this video and you other video on motivation. Thanks for these, they are really great. Keep up the good work!

You are amazing 💓 Thank you

Totally need this ..love this! Awesome pep talk! Thankyou!

Thank you a lot for this! 💜😊 It helped

First time here. I'm genuinely impressed Julia... you hit every nail on every head and framed it in a way for me to deeply understand. Thank you

Thank you for this amazing video!!!❤❤

One of the best gems of KZfaq. Thank you so much 😍😘

Everything you said is So liberating I swear I don’t feel as stuck as I most of the time feel! Thanks 🙏🏼

Totally inspiring and liberating full stop! Yes!

Your video is like a warm light of wisdom. Thank you !!!

Great video Julia! Thanks😊

Thank you for these videos. The topics are so poignant and clear.

Thank you Julia. You really help me alot. Well done!

This is an amazing video. Thank you!

A characteristic example taken from my life is the following: Last summer I was working as a waitress in a famous hotel. one of the guests was from Prague. I had a constant notion that he was not liked me, he was hating me, I guessed it from his face, I thought. He stayed for ten consecutive days, all these days I had the same feeling, I was so sure for his feeling. BUT the day he left, he came to me , he told me that the service was great and he would be glad to meet me the next year, he gave me a GENEROUS tip. Many thanks from Greece.

Wooo! Thank you so much for doing this, it helps and you are making the difference you’re aiming for

I'm so inspired with your words dr. Kristina

This is great. Thanks for your videos. They’re always illuminating.

The way you deliver the message is superb! Thank you! I learned a lot.

I am so, so happy I found your videos. Thank you for what you are doing.

Thank you so much, I really enjoy your presentation

I enjoy watching your videos. You're so upbeat and direct. You resonate with me. Thanks 😘

I look forward to you videos. Always so helpful. Glad to see you back. 💙💕💙

Thank you so much for these videos I really like them and the way you showcase topics.

So true! Thank you for other helpful video ❤️

Amen sister ! 🙌🏻 I love you so much ! 😍

This video and it's advice has blown my mind, thank you so much

Very liberating. The statement that no one is going to come for us. Thanks

Thank you so much. This was tough. But I get it.

This is really encouraging for the crisis I am going through. Thank you.

Thank you for making the time to create this video since I can definitely relate to a few of these points currently in my life. I appreciate what you are doing and the friend who recommended me this video as I am currently “stuck” in my life for the time being.

You are speaking to my soul. Truths I need to hear and remind myself every day. Thank you

Very worthy advice. Thanks a lot.

WOW....so helpful !!!

I was following you and observing your videos. It is amazing to see how you are improving your content while keeping it minimalist, black&white, no rework or cutting, it is just amazing. Thanks Julia ! 🤗

This was a wonderful suggestion about wondering what other are thinking of me. Never thought about it that way and its so true. Thank you so much!

Always great stuff when going through a tough time

Loved it. Thank you so much!

Thank you for this Vid. I learned so much about these processes, and how I need to incorporate them into my life. Makes my outlook appear so different. Glad I watched.

I needed to hear this. Thanks! Enjoy your videos!

ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Wow!!!! and Thank You!!!

You are most definitely my favourite self-improvement teacher so far! Sharing all over the place ;) The most important truth for me here.. no one is coming.

ALL very good points! !! I look forward to what's next.

yeah so true. Once life was really tough for me and I went for a run and I saw a little beetle on the ground making his way. It made me think that life really is hard even for a little beetle on the ground. But look at him even he's doing his best and he's making his way, he is not just giving up cuz it's hard. It made me want to keep going and encouraged me and somehow felt really relatable to this little beetle on the ground. Like life is just hard by default for every living things really so we should be like that little beetle and just press on and never give up

Expecting things from people that they are not offering hits home especially when you mention that it's putting my happiness on their shoulders. And when you mention that it may be coming from those of us who are more empathetic and in tune with other people's emotions it strikes a chord.

Great video I think everyone can relate to this in some way if they are honest with themselves. Great advice it's never to late to learn. Keep up your great work. Many thanks Xxx 🤗🤗🤗

Thank you for your words

Totally inspiring and liberating Julia you are wise and hugely informative you have lots of tools thank you so much for your beautiful spirit and knowledge xx